OLTL Transcript Thursday 11/2/06

One Life to Live Transcript Thursday 11/2/06

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Blair: Brings back a lot of memories, doesn't it?

Todd: What?

Blair: Sitting here in the principal's office.

Todd: One or two.

Blair: Yeah, "one or two." I bet you spent a third of your high school days sitting right here in the principal's office.

Todd: No, no, no. Not even close. It's more like half.

Blair: Oh, ho, ho!

Todd: But you were a model student, I'm sure, weren't you?

Blair: Of course I was. Valedictorian, teacher's pet, straight A's, you name it.

Todd: Yeah. And I won the Nobel Prize.

Blair: I had one or two issues in high school.

Todd: Yeah, "one or two."

Blair: Ok, I confess. I spent half my time in the principal's office. Maybe that's why we fit together so well. We were both problem kids.

Todd: I think our problem's a little deeper than childhood.

Blair: Just a little bit.

Todd: Where the hell's that principal?

Woman: Good morning, students. Good morning, Miss Manning.

Starr: Go morning, Principal Wexler.

Principal Wexler: My office, five minutes. Is that clear?

Starr: Yes, ma'am.

Principal Wexler: You, too, Miss Jennings.

Britney: Yes, ma'am.

Langston: Don't worry. She's the one in trouble, not you.

Starr: Doesn't matter. She got what she wanted last night. I've never been so embarrassed in my life.

Langston: Give it a week. No one will even remember.

Starr: Are you kidding me? Just when I thought my life could finally be normal, everyone's pointing and whispering and staring at me. I wish the whole night never happened.

Cole: The whole night?

Evangeline: "Pursuant to facts previously stated, I would like to ask the judge if he would --"

Cristian: Guilty.

Evangeline: Would the foreman please return to his seat in the jury box?

Cristian: Yes, ma'am.

Evangeline: Now, if I may continue, I --

Cristian: Can I ask a question first?

Evangeline: You may.

Cristian: What are you wearing under that suit?

Evangeline: This is highly irregular, and I wish to strike it from the record.

Cristian: Yeah, I wish to strike, too.

Evangeline: But -- I would like to thank the foreman for his interest and for his guilty verdict.

Cristian: I'd give you a guilty verdict no matter what you're wearing.

Evangeline: Yes, you would. Of course, you would. Vincent ruined your career.

Cristian: I just want justice to prevail.

Evangeline: Are you sure there are no personal feelings?

Cristian: Maybe a few. But truth be told, I mostly want to see you in your first case as a DA.

Cristian: So how's it looking, good-looking?

Evangeline: Well, now that Vince confessed, it's going to make it a lot easier, and we don't have to rely on Natalie.

Cristian: Good, because I don't think she's going to testify.

Evangeline: Why?

Cristian: Well, I know Natalie, and, after John's death, she's going to want some strong arms wrapped around her. I got a feeling Vincent is holding his wide open.

Natalie: Thank you. How you doing?

Vincent: How you think I'm doing? I'm in jail.

Natalie: You don't look happy to see me.

Vincent: I thought you was my lawyer. And no, I'm not happy to see you. More accurately, I'm not happy about you seeing me. I promised my mama I'd never be up in this place.

Natalie: So why'd you confess?

Vincent: Let's say your lips had some sort of truth serum to them.

Natalie: My God, that kiss was a mistake. Why do you keep bringing it up?

Vincent: Layla.

Spencer: So you're allowing me the honors?

Asa: Oh, shut up!

Spencer: Whatever you say, dad.

Asa: Don't ever call me that, you piece of slime. And I don't care what these tests say. You are not and never will be my son.

Spencer: Is that any way to talk to your long-lost boy, Asa? I'll tell you what, let's just open them together.

Asa: I will not allow this. I won't allow my son to be some stinking snake.

Natalie: Uh, we -- we were just talking.

Layla: I can see that.

Vincent: It was a mistake.

Layla: You can say that again. And I don't blame Natalie for blasting you for what you did to Cristian.

Vincent: Natalie was just telling me where we stand. And you shouldn't be here, Layla.

Natalie: No, no, no, no. I'm the one who shouldn't be here. I'm going to let you guys talk. Sorry.

Vincent: Like I said, you shouldn't be here.

Layla: I guess you know everything, don't you?

Vincent: I do know how you feel about me. And I know how you feel about what I did. And I know that you're not going to give me a second chance. So if you're here wanting to throw it back in my face, go ahead, I'm a captive audience.

Layla: That's not what I came here for.

Vincent: No? Why?

Marcie: "Mrs. McBain." [Marcie giggles]

Principal Wexler: Ah.

Marcie: Oh. Hi. Hi, Principal Wexler. Thank you for having me.

Principal Wexler: Hello again, Mrs. McBain.

Marcie: Thank you for having me again. I really appreciate it. You know, I -- I think I can really make a difference -- well, with some of the kids, at least.

Principal Wexler: Well, good. Listen, maybe you can stop by my office later and sign a copy of "the killing club" for me.

Marcie: Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure, I'd be happy to. Oh, before you go, could you tell me what time the bell rings? I was hoping to speak to sue before class started.

Principal Wexler: Oh, then, obviously, you haven't heard.

Marcie: Heard what?

Principal Wexler: She had her baby this morning.

Marcie: Oh, wow, that's great! That's really early, though. Is everything ok?

Principal Wexler: Oh, perfect. It's a boy, nine pounds, seven ounces.

Marcie: Wow. I'm so happy for her. Does -- well, I guess that -- does that mean that class is going to be canceled?

Principal Wexler: Actually, I was hoping that you would take over class for her.

Cole: Hi.

Langston: Um, I think maybe I should go to, um, somewhere else.

Cole: So, do you really wish last night never happened?

Starr: Not all of it. Just most of it.

Cole: Britney's little show?

Starr: Absolutely.

Cole: And me asking about your dad if he really tried to --

Starr: Can we not talk about that, please?

Cole: I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. I mean, it wasn't even any of my business anyway.

Starr: Just drop it, ok?

Cole: Sorry. Again. Huh. Was, you know, the kiss one of the things you wish had never happened?

Starr: No. I'm glad it happened. How about you?

Cole: Are you kidding?

Blair: That brings back memories.

Todd: What?

Blair: Almost getting caught kissing in school. I mean, actually, there's no "almost" to it. I got caught kissing. I got suspended for, well, a little bit of everything. But you know, I was a really good juvenile delinquent, because there were a lot of things they never caught me doing.

Todd: I wasn't going to kiss you just now, Blair.

Blair: Oh, yeah, right. And what'd you say about that Nobel Prize?

Todd: Actually, I lied about the Nobel Prize.

Blair: You -- you lied?

Todd: I never won it. I was nominated several times, that's all.

Blair: Oh, I'm sure, for your excellent journalism.

Todd: No, for my dogged pursuit of the truth. Which is not your best subject.

Blair: I got Spencer for you.

Blair: So do you think Principal Wexler is going to fuss at us or fuss at Starr?

Todd: I don't know. She keeps us waiting down here for minutes and minutes and minutes. Just a power trip.

Blair: Well, you know what? We're going to have to deal with it because she could make Starr's life miserable, Todd.

Todd: Starr's life is already miserable. I don't know. Maybe we should leave. We've never gotten anywhere by being sheep.

Blair: [As a sheep] I don't know. Bah. We never tried. [Normal voice] That was bad.

Todd: No.

Blair: That was really bad. I'm trying to lighten this up, you know?

Todd: I want to see Wexler because I want her to know that she's got to protect Starr from being bullied, not that Starr would ever let herself --

Blair: Well, I think that's the issue, Todd. That is the issue and we -- we've got to let Starr learn to fight her own battles.

Todd: I know, but these -- these high school girls are so mean-spirited. Of course, as you saw, we've given them plenty of fodder for the next four years.

Blair: Well, Starr shouldn't be punished for the enemies that we've made.

Todd: We're just no good for her.

Bo: Pa?

Asa: What?

Bo: Give Truman here his copy of the test. Come on.

Asa: Hell, no! It's just a bunch of numbers by some four-eyed egghead in a police lab who's going to tell me which is and which isn't the truth?

Spencer: You're scared to death, Asa. You know, you better take it easy. You don't want to have to have me give you CPR here in front of your other family members while you find out we're father and son.

Asa: I'm not scared of anything, and you are not my damn son.

Spencer: Sure I am. Go ahead, you can say it, Asa. Just let the words roll out of your mouth -- come on.

Asa: The only thing that's going to roll out of my mouth is a wad of spit right in your ugly damn face.

Spencer: Now, is that any way to talk to your long-lost boy?

Asa: I don't know how a piece of manure like you could come from one of my seeds.

David: Unless his seed fell into a cowpie.

Viki: David, wrong time, wrong place.

Spencer: If you're so sure that I'm not your son, Asa, why are you so afraid to show us the test results?

David: Two-to-one says he's a Buchanan.

Viki: Make it four-to-one and you're on.

David: Why, Miss Viki.

Clint: Come on, Pa. Let's get this over with, ok?

Bo: Truman and his attorney -- they'll just order another copy of that test.

Clint: Our family has gone through a lot of storms. We're going to get through this one.

Spencer: That's right. There's nothing that our family can't weather. We'll get through this, as well, right, guys?

Bo: Knock it off.

Clint: Pa, there is no way around it. Just give him his copy of the results, would you?

Asa: Ah! [Asa sighs]

Spencer: You -- want me to get those for you, Asa? There you go. There's one for me and there's one for you.

David: Come on, Spencer, what does it say?

Cole: Well, I got to go. Coach is pulling us out of PE to chalk talk about the panthers' formations. You see, listen -- on offense, they have this stupid formation where they come up right here, double-winged, and then when they pull it to the left -- you have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?

Starr: I understood "PE."

Cole: Sorry. Well, I better go.

Starr: I do know that the whole school is counting on you to do pretty well, though.

Cole: Huh. Then wish me luck.

Starr: Good luck. Huh.

Cole: You coming to my game?

Starr: I hadn't thought about it.

Cole: Well, you know, if you're not there cheering me on, then I might not play well and then you'd be the one to let down the whole school.

Marcie: You want me to teach? Permanently?

Principal Wexler: Well, I was thinking more like a permanent sub, until sue gets back. Look, I know the kids loved you the other day, and the sub we were going to hire took another job, and it would be wonderful to have a well-known author on our staff.

Marcie: I really don't know what to say.

Principal Wexler: Well, "yes" would be the response I want to hear.

Marcie: I -- I don't even have a teaching certificate. I -- I mean, I did take the course work in college, but it was as a minor and I -- I haven't even filed the paperwork.

Principal Wexler: We'll deal with it until you get your certificate. I'll have the board of ed. Expedite the process.

Marcie: Really? I mean, you could do that?

Principal Wexler: Mm-hmm.

Marcie: That would be great. I just -- I can't. I'm sorry. I have a little boy at home, he's not even a year.

Principal Wexler: Oh, we have a great daycare program.

Marcie: No, it's -- it's not about that. We haven't had him very long. He's adopted, he's already been through three sets of parents, and, you know, he needs his mommy.

Principal Wexler: Look, I'll have someone else cover Math and Science. You can teach English and Social Studies. Look, a few hours a week. We'll work around your schedule.

Marcie: You are making this very difficult for me to say no.

Principal Wexler: Good. So tell me I can count on you.

Marcie: Sure.

Cole: So, tell me I can count on you?

Starr: Sure.

Cole: Good. I'll see you later.

Starr: Bye.

Britney: Well, it looks like things are really heating up for you and your new stud boyfriend.

Starr: He's not my boyfriend.

Britney: Good, because then you'd only be getting your heart broken.

Principal Wexler: I thought I told the both of you to get to my office.

Britney: I'm sorry, Ms. Wexler. I was just -- I was trying to tell Starr to stop messing around.

Blair: You really think that we're bad for Starr?

Todd: Oh, hell, I don't know. She's a strong kid. If she can deal with us, she can deal with that slide show that stupid bitch Britney put up.

Blair: God. Her parents must really be asses.

Woman: It just so happens that our little Britney can wipe the floor with your little loser daughter.

Blake: Maybe that's because her asinine parents are actually decent human beings instead of some white trash.

Layla: I heard you confessed.

Vincent: Is that why you came?

Layla: I wanted to know why.

Vincent: Does it matter?

Layla: Maybe it doesn't, but I am curious.

Vincent: Would you believe me if I said that it was the right thing to do?

Man: Time for the arraignment. You ready?

Vincent: Do I have a choice?

Man: No.

Layla: What's going to happen to him?

Man: Well, it depends on how hard the prosecutor wants to play. You see, I know her rep from when she was a defense attorney. Evangeline Williamson may wind up being one tough ADA.

Evangeline: Vincent isn't holding his arms wide open for Natalie. He's trying to get back with my sister. And even if I'm wrong about that, do you really think Natalie would go to Vincent so soon after John?

Cristian: Well, it's not like she hasn't done it before. After she thought I was dead, she got all mixed up with Kelly Cramer's brother.

Evangeline: Oh -- Paul.

Cristian: That's right. And that worked out really well.

Evangeline: Well, you sure you shouldn't give Natalie the benefit of the doubt on this one?

Cristian: Well, I'd like to, but hearing her talk about Vincent last night, she was almost defending him, and to me, it sounded like she was falling right into that same pattern. Natalie has a tendency to be self-destructive when she's in pain.

Evangeline: And getting involved with Vincent Jones falls under the category of "self-destruction"?

Cristian: I just don't want Natalie to throw away what's left of her life on a guy like Vincent.

Natalie: I don't know what bothers me more, Cristian -- the fact that you think I'm not capable of making my own decisions, or that you're convinced that without John, my life is dust.

Asa: I damn knew it! I really knew it! Why the hell didn't this family of mine listen to me?

David: Is it a match?

Asa: Not even close.

Viki: So he's not a Buchanan?

Asa: Hell, no! That's a Buchanan. That's a Buchanan. Kevin's a Buchanan. Cord, Joey, Matthew, Duke -- all Buchanans. I have no idea who this piece of dirt is or who his mother slept with. All I know, he is not worthy, not worthy to even say the word "Buchanan."

Spencer: You've gone too far this time, old man. My sample was taken by a Buchanan, your sample, taken by a Buchanan! A Buchanan brought these test results to us.

Bo: From an impartial lab.

Spencer: A police lab where the chief of police just happens to be a Buchanan?

Clint: We wanted the truth as much as you did.

Spencer: No, you wanted to prove that I wasn't a member of this family.

Viki: And they proved it.

Spencer: You expect me to believe that my entire life has been based on a lie, that my mother's lying on her deathbed and she's just fabricating evidence about who my father is?

Clint: That's the way it sounds to me.

Bo: Maybe it was just wishful thinking.

Viki: Spencer, if -- if you spent your whole life living for revenge, I feel very sorry for you because that's the kind of life that people can choke to death on.

Spencer: No. No --

Viki: Oh!

Clint: Truman!

Spencer: I'm not the one who's going to be choking to death!

Mrs. Jennings: How dare you speak about my daughter like that.

Blair: How dare you allow your daughter to get away with being such a little witch.

Todd: Yeah, Blair's right. You guys really suck.

Blake: We can take this outside, Manning, anytime you want.

Todd: You know what, Jennings? Why don't you and your ball-busting wife kiss my ass?

Principal Wexler: Enough! What a fine set of examples you are for your daughters.

Cristian: Oh. That's not the way I meant it, Natalie.

Natalie: Yeah, well, it sure is the way it sounded.

Cristian: Look, I think you have great things ahead of you. And believe it or not, I trust your judgment about Vincent.

Natalie: Thank you.

Cristian: Ok.

Natalie: But you don't have to worry. Vincent Jones is out of my life, not that he was ever there in the first place.

Evangeline: I'm sorry. No plea bargain.

Man: You must be joking.

Evangeline: No joke. Look, your client has two choices -- he can either plead guilty or he can go through the ordeal of a trial, wherein he will be found guilty and probably get a longer sentence.

Lawyer: You're green.

Evangeline: Am I? I don't think so.

Lawyer: Well, as a defense attorney, maybe. But not as a prosecutor. You can't win this one. My client was never out to kill Mr. Vega. Accepted, he wagered against his own fighter. But Mr. Jones had nothing to do with the -- lacing, if you pardon the expression, of the other fighter's gloves.

Evangeline: Not firsthand, but he has taken full responsibility for Ted's actions, which means this case will definitely go to trial and most likely he will be found guilty.

Lawyer: I hate to ruin your day, miss prosecutor, but I happen to have a witness who's willing to testify otherwise.

Evangeline: You are bluffing.

Lawyer: Oh, I don't think so.

Evangeline: Who is this mystery witness?

Ted: I am.

Viki: Stop!

Bo: Let her go, Truman!

Spencer: If I let her go, then I'll lose my advantage, wouldn't I?

Viki: Please, please!

Bo: I don't want to have to kill you.

Spencer: I don't want to have to kill Viki, but I swear to God I will and you know I can!

Clint: If you hurt her, I'll kill you with my bare hands.

Viki: Oh.

Asa: And I'll be there to help.

Viki: He -- he's not going to hurt me.

Spencer: Don't be so sure. Oh, it's so touching to watch how you all come to the aid of one of your own, but wasn't Viki banished from this clan once before just like you're trying to banish me now?

Bo: Nobody's banishing you. One of your attorneys was there supervising one of the tests. There's no way we could've doctored it.

Spencer: Oh, there's always a way! After all, you are Buchanans, right?

Bo: We played this whole thing by the rules.

Viki: Spencer, please, this isn't getting you anywhere. Let me go!

Clint: Spencer, you can't get kicked out of a family you never belonged to.

Spencer: Are you calling my mother a liar, Clint?

Asa: She was a lot more than that. She was no saint. Your mother was a hooker.

Viki: Oh --

David: My mother was a hooker?

Spencer: Those words, Asa. Retract what you said or I'll break her neck! I swear to God I'll feed those words right back down your throat!

Asa: Your mother was a whore!

Clint: Pa, stop!

Spencer: Let him talk. Then you can all sit around and talk about how the mighty Asa Buchanan's responsible for the death of someone you all love!

Viki: Spencer, please let me go before this gets any more out of hand than it already is.

Spencer: "Out of hand"? Viki, how could things possibly get any more out of hand for me than it already is?

Clint: It can and it will if you don't let her go and step back.

Viki: Ah.

Spencer: I don't think you understand -- I know the game that you all are playing. I know how you all under the tutelage of the mighty Asa Buchanan have manipulated the system to suit your needs, and I guess I just didn't fit into the family model, right?

David: Spencer. Spencer? Listen to me. Spencer, listen. I know how much you loved our mother. I know what -- what it must feel like to know that the words that you've based your entire life on -- the dying words of our mother -- were a lie.

Spencer: Just shut up, David.

David: Spencer, you're in pain, I know that, and you're angry and to tell you the truth, you have every right to be. But look what you're doing -- you're taking it out on Viki. Look at yourself! Viki's one of the good ones -- she's got nothing to do with this. Just let her go, Spencer. Let Viki go -- it is over.

Viki: Oh.

Bo: Lace your fingers behind your head.

Clint: You all right?

Bo: Lace them behind your head! Get them up!

Viki: Oh. Oh.

Evangeline: Cris? Cris, can you just give us a second? Ok. What is this all about?

Lawyer: Go ahead. Tell her what you told me.

Ted: I did it. I was the one who put the dope on Abbott's gloves. Vincent? He didn't even know anything about it.

Evangeline: I see what this is all about. Sounds to me like Ted here would rather go to jail than have Vincent Jones as an enemy.

Ted: I'm telling you the truth and I'll tell it to the judge.

Lawyer: Still think that my client would be convicted? I think not. You won't even be able to stick him with an assault charge. I'll tell you what -- we'll give you misdemeanor racketeering in exchange for a suspended sentence and community service.

Evangeline: Give me a second, please. So, what do you think, Cris? You're the one that lost everything.

Principal Wexler: It's a shame we can't hold an after-school event without some sort of mean-spirited prank affecting a student, her family with embarrassment and bad feelings.

Britney: I only meant it as a joke. I never wanted to hurt Starr.

Blair: Oh, excuse me?

Todd: I want her expelled.

Blake: For a practical joke?

Blair: Oh, yeah. You must think shoving pencils in kids' eyes is a practical joke? Is that what you think?

Principal Wexler: Ms. Cramer, please.

Blair: What?

Todd: Is she going to be punished or not?

Principal Wexler: I can't expel her, but that's not to say that Britney shouldn't be disciplined. I'm going to give you two months' detention. That should be enough time to think about what you did. And I would hope that the two of you will learn how to get along.

Britney: Of course, Ms. Wexler. I'll do my best. I'm really sorry, Starr.

Principal Wexler: Starr?

Starr: Yeah, I'll try.

Principal Wexler: Ok. What class do you have next?

Starr: English.

Principal Wexler: Room 222?

Starr: Yes, ma'am.

Principal Wexler: All right. Mrs. Kenny had her baby this morning, so Mrs. McBain will be your new teacher. Here are your tardy slips.

Britney: You are so dead.

Coach: Less weight, more reps. This isn't the day you want to be bulking up. You don't want your muscles to be heavy and sluggish. We need you to lead this team, Cole. The only way you're going to do that is by being quick and agile.

Langston: "And that is why I'm going to resist any and all forms of peer pressure," unless all of you think I shouldn't.

Marcie: Thank you very much, Langston. It was very clear and very well-written. Ladies

Starr: Hi, Marcie -- Mrs. McBain.

Marcie: Hello, Starr. Britney? Ok. Go ahead, sit down. We were reading the papers that were due today, so would either one of you like to read, yes?

Britney: I will.

Marcie: Great.

Britney: When you were here last time, you said we could write about anything just as long as we were interested in it.

Marcie: Yes, I did.

Britney: Ok. "The Rapist, by Britney Jennings."

Todd: Where did Wexler say, 222?

Blair: Mm-hmm.

Todd: Here it is.

Blair: You're not going to go in there. You're going to --

Todd: I was just going to peak my head in. She won't know I'm there.

Blair: You'll embarrass her, Todd -- all right.

Britney: "It must be so hard to know that somebody you know has been convicted of the violent crime of rape."

Evangeline: So what do you think?

Cristian: I think we should take the deal.

Evangeline: Are you sure?

Cristian: Yeah, yeah. I -- I just want this whole thing to go away.

Evangeline: Ok. Let's go tell him. Well, looks like it's your lucky day. The plaintiff agrees to the deal.

Lawyer: That's it? That's all you want?

Evangeline: Oh, no.

Cristian: No, that's not it. I also want Vincent to go to the boxing commission to make a statement. I want my name cleared, publicly.

Lawyer: That's fine with me.

Evangeline: Ok. We'll give the deal to the judge as soon as he comes in.

Vincent: Vega, man, serious business. I can't tell you enough how I'm sorry all this happened. Hey -- thanks for being here for me.

Layla: You're welcome, but this doesn't change anything.

Vincent: Layla, I said it before and I'll say it again. I'm sorry.

Layla: Yeah. Bye, Vincent.

Natalie: You got lucky today.

Vincent: Did I?

Natalie: Don't blow it.

Britney: "Rapists are the cruelest, meanest people in the world."

Todd: Should I go in there right now, shut her up?

Blair: No, you are not going to shut her up.

Todd: Did you hear what she was saying about Starr? She's breaking Starr's --

Blair: If you go in there, you will embarrass her.

Todd: I can't just sit out here and do nothing. I can't do nothing!

Blair: Ok, you know what? I know this is hard, Todd. It's hard for me, but you can't continue to fight her battles. How long do you plan on doing that?

Todd: As long as I can.

Blair: Well, you can't do it. Look, we're not always going to be around for her and she has got to learn to stand on her own. You know I'm right. Come on. Say I'm right.

Todd: You're right.

Blair: Ok. Let's go. It's going to be ok.

Britney: "And I think all rapists should be castrated so they can't pass on their perverted, disgusting genes to the next generation."

Marcie: Ok. Um -- I realize that this was an opinion piece, but you have to be able to support your argument with factual information, Britney, especially when you're dealing with such a serious topic. And it is -- it's painfully obvious to me that you did not take the time to do the proper research, because if you had, then you would've known that the reason rapists were castrated in the past is so that they wouldn't do it again, not because they have a genetic predisposition. [Bell] Uh -- all right. Well, we'll pick this up tomorrow. Class dismissed.

Langston: Starr, don't let her get to you. She's -- she's a jerk. She doesn't know what she's talking --

Starr: I don't want to talk about it, ok?

Langston: Ok.

Marcie: Starr, I'm so sorry. I had no idea she was going to --

Starr: I don't want to talk about it.

Marcie: Starr?

Gabe: Well, listen, if you -- if you start to feel a little bit low, I can get my hands on some certain stuff that'll make you feel a little better. All right.

Cole: Oh. Whew. Whew.

Starr: What were you guys talking about?

Spencer: Don't even think this is over, Asa!

Asa: Write your threats on toilet paper. I may be able to find some use for them.

Clint: You all right?

Viki: Yeah, I'm fine.

Clint: Ok.

Viki: Thank you. David? David, thank you. Thank you very, very much for what you said and for what you did. Thank you.

David: Yeah, well, I guess I got a soft spot for you.

Viki: And I for you.

Asa: Vickers, get out of my house before I have the cops throw you out.

David: With pleasure. Before I go, I have a question for you. Was my mom really a hooker?

Asa: Was she? She was one of Renee's best gals.

David: Yeah? Well, I'll bet she was expensive. Something doesn't add up. Why would she tell Spencer that you got her pregnant?

Asa: I have no idea. She was a lying nut case.

David: She was on her deathbed. She had nothing to lose, so why would she lie?

Starr: What did Gabe mean, he could get ahold of some certain stuff? You know what? It's -- it's none of my business, especially since you were so cool about not pressing me about the Britney slide show.

Cole: Don't worry, it's no big deal. You still coming to my game tonight?

Starr: I wouldn't miss it.

Cole: Is there something wrong?

Starr: My English class, last period. It was -- it was tough.

Cole: I know the feeling.

Starr: I got to go change for PE.

Cole: Whew.

Todd: Are you kidding me? We got to tell her.

Blair: Come on, Todd, no, no, no. Starr has got to learn to fight her own battles. Come on.

Todd: All right.

Blair: We have our own battles to fight now, too.

Todd: Which one are you referring to?

Blair: Well, I'm referring to our anti-Spencer campaign we got going in "The Sun." That always makes us feel better.

Todd: I don't even think that's going to make me feel better now.

Blair: Oh, come on. Let's give it our big Manning try, ok? How about, hmm, "Truth be tested in Truman trial"?

Todd: Oh, God, that's terrible.

Blair: That is good!

Todd: Listen to this.

Blair: You got something better?

Todd: Yeah -- "Spiteful Spencer spotted spelunking in Spain."

Blair: Sounds like you're spitting.

Todd: "Foul physician fears frightening fate."

Blair: That's good. See, keep it going. Come on, let me hear another one.

Todd: "Dastardly doc --"

Blair: No, I came up with that one last week.

Bo: How does it feel to still be Spencer "not a Buchanan" Truman? After all those years of plotting and planning and revenge against a make-believe family and a pretend father, all for nothing? What a waste.

Asa: Your mother was dying. She probably had the DTs. She was withdrawing. That's the end of the story. Now, please, get the hell out of my house.

Viki: Asa? You were very harsh. That was his mother you were talking about.

Asa: Oh, please.

Clint: Pa?

Asa: What?

Clint: You were in love with her, weren't you?

Asa: You know something? That's the damn statements that creates a problem with Renee and me. Yeah, yeah, I had a fling, along with many others. And then she went off and married Tran.

Viki: You never saw her again?

Asa: Hell, no. Ah.

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