OLTL Transcript Monday 9/19/05

One Life to Live Transcript Monday 9/19/05

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Proofread by Brandi

Duke: All right, what's going on?

Dorian: Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.

Duke: Nothing?  It's got to be something, I mean, the way you shut the computer.

Dorian: I was just going over the guest list for my wedding.  It's going to be the most important day of my life.

Adriana: It's not the guest list.  She's lying.

Rourke: Take a break.  All right, take a break.

Rex: How's it going?

Man: Keep dropping my left.

Rex: Uh, listen, the reason I need to talk to you -- you know her?

Man: You looking for her?

Rex: Ah, yes, you've seen through my ploy.  I'm looking for her.  I thought since you're hired muscle you might know who she is and where she is.

Man: Nope, but I've kind of been out of the loop.  Spending all my time in here training.

Rex: Tell me you haven't given up on your studies.  Come on, you don't have a clue who she is?

Jackie: Oh!  You're breaking his concentration.

Rex: You're Jackie Mc Naughton.

Jackie: And that's Margaret Cochran, and you're going to stop asking questions about her now.

David: "As Chinese culture continues to permeate western civilization, we keep hearing the phrase 'fung shu--' 'feng sh--'" how in the hell do you spell "feng shui"?  Got to know how to spell it to find out how to spell it.  Hey, look, there's Gerald Ford.

Spencer: F-e-n-g s-h-u-i.

David: Thanks.  Is that one word or -- do I have to call security or throw you out myself?

Spencer: Come on, Dave.  I help you with your spelling and this is the way you treat me?

David: I'm in no mood for you tonight.

Spencer: Hey, this get broke -- how'd this get broken?

David: It was broken, Spencer, during the incident with Starr.

Spencer: Oh, yeah.  That's too bad.  Yeah, she's a good kid.  She's -- she's having a rough time, isn't she?  I hope she'll be ok.

David: Wow.  That was a really good imitation of someone who cares.

Spencer: Well, I do care, Dave.  I'm crazy about that kid.

David: No, Spencer, you're crazy about that kid's mother.

Blair: Come on, Todd, just call me.  Please.

Jack: Mom?

Blair: Oh, god.  Jack, you scared me to death.  What are you doing up, sweetie?

Jack: I can't sleep.  I think there's something under my bed.

Blair: You do?  Well, you come here.  Come here.  Let's think.  What could be under your bed?  Let's look around.

[Blair gasps]

Blair: I know -- it's the floor.  And guess what --

[Blair gasps]

Blair: Dust bunnies.  Big, old dust bunnies with fuzzy teeth, and you know what they like to do?  They like to come up and climb in your bed and go, "I need to get your right here, I'm going to get you right here!"

[Jack laughs]

Blair: And then they come up here and they go under your arm and they're going to get you right there, right there, right there!  And then they come in and they squeeze your little tummy and -- oh, I'm sorry, sweetie, did we wake you up?

Starr: I wasn't asleep.

Blair: Huh.  You know what?  I think this situation calls for hot chocolate!

Starr: I don't want hot chocolate.

Blair: Ok.  Well, we'll talk, and then I'll get you some hot chocolate.  How's that?  Maybe a big bowl?

Todd: Now, you have to promise me that you won't tell your mom that Margaret's pregnant.

Blair: Marshmallows --

Starr: Mom?

Blair: And whipped cream, all --

Starr: Mom. I can't live like this anymore.

Margaret: Merrily, merrily merrily, merrily life is but a dream you stopped singing.

Todd: Yeah, I'm thinking about us, our life together.

Margaret: Really?

Todd: Yeah, just the two of us.

Margaret: Three.

Todd: Just the three of us, all alone.  That's the best part, right?  Being all alone?

Margaret: Oh, yes.  Yes, going out to that island.  No one is going to be able to find us.

Todd: So I don't think anyone would mind if we just borrowed this.

Margaret: It's so small.

Todd: Yeah, it's just our own little private love boat.

Margaret: Now I'm scared.

Todd: Me, too, honey.  I'm terrified.

Kelly: Kevin?

Kevin: I don't want to say something sappy.

Kelly: Well, girls like sappy things every now and then.

Kevin: I just can't believe you're back.

Kelly: I'm back.

Kevin: Yeah, I know.  You know, right now it just seems so simple, so right.  It's hard to understand why we ever split up.

Kelly: Well, we stopped trusting each other.  We let other things become more important than us.

Kevin: Yeah.  I know that here, you know, but I just can't make sense of it.  What I do know is that I will really try not to screw it up this time.

Kelly: Well, I don't think we should think of it like that.  I think we should look at our situation and say that we've made it through a really, really awful time and we're still together.  I mean, even when I thought I hated you --

Kevin: You loved me?

Kelly: Yeah.

Kevin: You did?

Kelly: Yeah, and it's not just being here with you tonight.  It's looking forward to the future.

Kevin: Well, you know, the night's not necessarily over.

Kelly: Mmm, I know.

Kevin: Yeah, well --

Kelly: I just want to think about us being together and being happy and making a family.

Kevin: Yeah, me, too.  Well, listen, me loving you has nothing to do with you having a baby.  All right?  I mean, I love you no matter what, so if you don't want to go ahead with this procedure, I understand.

Kelly: No, I know, I know.  It's just that I think that we can have a child, and I think Spencer can help us with that.  I know he can.

Spencer: Boy, I just really can't catch a break from you, can I, Davey?

David: Because I know you, I know what you're capable of.

Spencer: Yeah, why don't we just change the conversation, all right, before it starts to get ugly, huh?

David: Well, it's a little too late for that, isn't it?  You know what, if you're here to blow me out of the water, just do it.  Just do it.  Just get it the hell over with.

Spencer: Gee, Davey, you almost sounded sincere that time.

David: Spencer, I see through you.  I'm onto the con.  And what really ticks me off is you treat me -- you treat me like I'm just another mark.  It makes me feel, well, less than fraternal.

Spencer: And I would be conning you because?

David: Because it's what you do, Spencer, even when you don't have to.  It's just part of your nature.  I mean, we both know you came here -- you came here to talk about Blair.  Instead, you're putting on this "gee, how is Starr" skit.  Would you put that down?

Spencer: All right, if you want the truth, no bull, all right?  You know what I think?  I think you've turned into a self-righteous little prig, I really do.  So what if I come around here looking for Blair?  What's it matter to you?

David: Blair is Dorian's niece, and I like her.  And I also know that if you want her, it means you want something from her.  And if you want something from her, you're not going to stop until you get it.

Spencer: I don't know, Dave, beautiful women come my way every day.  They really do.  Blair's either going to come around or she's not.  It's no big deal.

David: No, you're not just going to sit around and wait for Blair to come to you. You're going after her.  I want to know two things.  Number one, what is your plan?   And number two, what exactly is a prig?

Blair: I know that we've had our share of bad times, more than we should.  But every time I look at the two of you and look at your beautiful faces, I realize that I'm the luckiest mama in the whole world.

Starr: Not all kids are a great, big bundle of joy.

Blair: No, not always.  But I would rather have the little imperfections and the problems than have everything all tied up in a nice, neat little bundle.

Starr: Yeah, right.

Blair: Yeah, right.  I mean, look at Kelly's life.  She's got everything all perfect and tidy.  And I bet you she would switch and swap lives with me any time to have what I got.

Jack: Us kids?

Blair: That's right.  Because I think children are a gift from God.

Starr: What if the baby's mother is an awful person?

Blair: Well, I don't really believe in bad seeds.

Starr: What if Margaret had a baby with dad?  Would that baby deserve to be loved?

Margaret: And what are you scared about, Todd?  You can swim.

Todd: You're holding a gun at me.

Margaret: That's true.

Todd: What we have can't be about guns.  It's got to be about trust.

Margaret: But I can't swim.

Todd: And I can't row you if you've shot me.  Throw it away, honey.  We could be so happy together.

Margaret: You liar.

Todd: Why would I lie to the mother of my son?  Why don't you let me throw it away?  We could be together.  But if you keep it, we can't ever have a family, ever.

Margaret: Well, all right.  We need to learn to trust.

[Splash]

Todd: We need to do things differently.  We need to be partners.

Margaret: I need to hear you say it.

Todd: Say it?

Margaret: That you love me.  That you really do love me.  My life goes a million miles a minute.

Dorian: Darling, I think you made Duke feel uncomfortable with your little joke.  I -- I mean, really.  I suppose Adriana may have felt that it's just so quintessentially boring going over a wedding invitation list with your mother that she -- she was looking for a way to inject a little bit of drama, a little bit of spice into the --

Adriana: I was looking for you to tell the truth.

[Phone rings]

Dorian: Oh, that's your cell phone.  You know, maybe you should take it outside because --

Duke: Good idea.

Dorian: We've been having trouble with getting good reception in here.

Duke: I shouldn't be long.

Dorian: All right, take your time.

Dorian: You just called me a liar in front of Duke.  How do you think that made me feel?

Adriana: Caught?

Dorian: I lied to protect him.

Adriana: No, you lied to protect yourself.  But the fact is, if someone has a file on the Buchananís, Duke has a right to know about it.

Dorian: But I explained to you that we have to keep this thing quiet.

Adriana: That was before I knew what the file was.  No matter what, I am not going to lie to duke about something that affects him personally.

Dorian: Oh, but you already have.

Adriana: What are you talking about?

Dorian: Don't you think it's going to affect Duke personally when he finds out you've been kissing Rex?

Rex: Why should I stop asking questions about Margaret Cochran?

Jackie: Because you'll live a longer, happier life.

Rex: That a threat?

Jackie: Why don't you take it as a really strong suggestion?

Rex: But you do know her?

Jackie: Look, kid, you're in the way here.  He needs to train if he's going to be the next middleweight champion.  And he needs to be the next middleweight champion because I own the biggest piece of him.  So why don't you just go?  You're not going to find her, you're not going to save her.

Rex: Save her?  You think something's happened to her?

Jackie: Happens when you mess with the wrong people.

Rex: Like you?

Jackie: Like Todd Manning.

Rex: So you're the guy who was talking to Todd Manning.

Jackie: You're really beginning to get on my nerves.

Rex: What was the topic of conversation?  A little business?  Drawing up a contract?

Jackie: You don't take subtle hints, do you?  Beat it.

Rex: Am I not going to find her because you've already executed that contract?

Jackie: Look, kid -- bottom line, there is no contract.  If Manning wants to take care of this Cochran broad, he'll do it himself.

Rex: And get his hands dirty.

Jackie: Hey, she did the one thing you don't do to a guy like Todd Manning.  She went after his family.

Margaret: I'm sorry I put you on the spot.  Oh, never mind.  You don't have to tell me that you love me now.  We can talk about that later.

Todd: Yes, when we're holding each other under the stars.  Now get in the boat.

Margaret: Ah --

Todd: Don't be scared.  I wouldn't let anything happen to the baby, or even to you.

Margaret: Ok.  Let's go.

Todd: Come on over here.

Margaret: Ok.

Todd: All right, come on.

Margaret: Oh, wait!  You have to feel this.  He's kicking!

Todd: Shh, shh.

Margaret: No, you might feel your son kicking.  Come.  You feel him?  He's kicking!

Todd: Yeah, yeah.  That's great.  Ok.

Margaret: Oh --

Todd: So what do you say?  Let's go for that midnight ride, huh?

Margaret: Perfect.  Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream merrily, merrily merrily, merrily life is but a dream row, row, row your boat

Kelly: Mmm.  Chocolate with sprinkles?

Kevin: You got it.  You know, we can't do this every time we make love.  We're going to be the fattest people in Llanview.

Kelly: And the happiest.

Kevin: Maybe the happiest, yes.

Kelly: Mmm.

Kevin: Mmm. Listen, I was scooping ice cream and I was thinking.

Kelly: Oh, no!  No, scooping and thinking -- that's dangerous!

Kevin: Very funny.  Anyway -- look, I know how happy it would make you to have our baby.

Kelly: You, too, right?

Kevin: Yes.  But I have to be honest with you.  I'm not thrilled about the idea of being indebted to Spencer Truman.

Kelly: Yeah, you don't like him, huh?

Kevin: Yeah, just a gut feeling.

Kelly: Well, I think we should look at this as a means to an end.  We're using his expertise to get something that we deserve, something that was meant to be -- a child of our own.

Kevin: I like the sound of that.  So I was thinking of something else in the kitchen.

Kelly: Mm-hmm.  What?

Kevin: Well, this baby.  If and when this baby gets here, is its last name going to be Cramer or Buchanan?

Kelly: That's kind of a big decision.

Kevin: Well, there's a way to make it easier.

Kelly: How?

Kevin: We could get married.

Spencer: Plan, Davey?  I don't have a plan.  There isn't any plan.  There's no plan.

David: Save that for somebody who doesn't know that "plan" is your middle name.

Spencer: Actually, my middle name is Bradley, just like yours, in honor of our mother.  Hey, you remember how mom used to love --

David: Spencer, could you please just leave mom out of it?  We were talking about Blair.

Spencer: Blair -- right, yes.  Well, Blair understands that my attraction to her was only temporary and that now I'm just proud to be able to call her my friend.

David: Oh, Spencer.  Maybe you're past your prime if you're resorting to the "friend" angle with a woman.

Spencer: Well, that is the best part about being me, Dave.  I don't have to have an angle.

David: All right, enough of this.  Cards on the table.  You said that you know that Blair loves Todd and he loves her back, so where do you fit into this?

Spencer: You know, Todd Manning is going around telling anyone who will listen that he has plans to kill someone named Margaret Cochran.  The man is a ticking bomb.  It's only a matter of time before he self-destructs.

David: So, when he does, friendly Spencer is going to be there to help Blair pick up the pieces?

Spencer: You know, Davey, that is a spectacular idea.

Margaret: It's such a beautiful night.  I wish our baby could see that moon.  Well, he will soon.  You felt him inside of me, and I saw your face.  Made you care about him, didn't it?

Todd: Did it?

Margaret: Yes!  It did.  I know you better than you think I do.  I can read your mind and sense your feelings.

Todd: I bet you can't sense what I'm feeling about him right now.

Margaret: Oh.  See?  It's started already.  You called him "him," and that means you think of him as a human being.

Todd: He's still a part of you.

Margaret: Yes, but when you felt him -- his little elbow or his foot -- you were curious about him, protective.

Todd: But I don't even know if he's really mine.

Margaret: That's because you haven't seen him yet.  Just wait until he's born, and then you'll see him and you'll know that he's your son.  You're going to fall in love with him.

Todd: You know, you could be right.

Margaret: Oh.  I knew it.  I knew I got through to you.

Todd: I just might fall in love with him.  That's why I can never, ever see him.

Jackie: Look, take a tip from a pro, kid.  Throw your little picture away and forget you ever heard the name Margaret Cochran.

Rex: You saying that's what you did?

Jackie: Broad winds up dead, cops are going to come looking for whoever it was that was asking questions about her.

Rex: You really think Todd Manning's going to kill her?

Jackie: Suppose you loved somebody and some whack job locked them in the trunk of a car and then left them there to die?  Yeah.  I rest my case.  The left, come on!  Hit and keep it up!  Hit it, come on!

Rourke: You had enough for today.  Hit the showers.

Rex: What?

Rourke: You box?

Rex: Oh, a little.

Rourke: It looks like you could move fast.  Want to work the bag?

Rex: Yeah, sure, why not?

Rourke: I should tape your hands.

Rex: I don't have time for that.

Rourke: Want a few tips?

Rex: Yeah.

Rourke: Yeah, it's not just the hands and footwork.  It's the mind.  You got to clear out all the garbage and focus on one thing.  Maybe it's something you want.  Maybe it's something that's standing in the way of you and what you want.  When you see that thing in your mind, you take it out on the bag.

Adriana: You would tell Duke that I kissed Rex?

Dorian: I'm just trying to make the point that there are situations that Duke is involved in that -- well, it would be better if he didn't find out.

Adriana: You know what?  Go ahead, tell him.  It was just one kiss.

Dorian: I would think about that a bit more if I were you.  You see, the Buchananís have always had a very sexist attitude toward women.  They're either Madonnaís or whores.  And if Duke were to mention your little indiscretion to Kevin or to Asa, oh, they would tell him never to see you again, and you know I'm right.

Adriana: But that file could affect Duke's whole family.

Dorian: The Buchananís can take care of themselves.  I'm thinking about the Cramer family interests, and that includes yours.

Adriana: No, mom.  You're only interested in yourself, as usual.  You win either way.  You can't stand that I'm with Duke, so if I tell him about the disc, you'll tell him about me and rex and pray that it breaks us up.

Dorian: It just might slip out, if I were under a great deal of stress.

Adriana: I can't believe you just said that to me.  You just threatened your own daughter.

Dorian: You need to think about putting your family loyalty before your affections for duke.

Duke: Yeah, just call me when you do have the answer, ok?  Everything ok in here?

Adriana: You know how I said before that we weren't looking at the guest list?  That was true.  I was helping my mother access a certain computer file.

Duke: What kind of file?

Adriana: Her gift registry.  She was trying to figure out how much money people are spending on her.

Duke: Oh!  You are bad.

Adriana: She's the worst.

Duke: Oh, goodness, hey, you ready to go?

Adriana: Yeah.  I'm just going to grab my purse and I'll meet you at the car.

Duke: Cool.  Got you a toaster, 79 bucks.

Dorian: I know you're angry with me, but you did the right thing.

Adriana: Caving in to you and lying to someone that means so much to me?

Dorian: You're really not sure what we're dealing with here, and neither am I.

Adriana: Oh, you know what?  It better be worth it to you, because I hate you for this.

Dorian: You don't mean that.

Adriana: Yes, I do.

Blair: There's no reason to talk about this, because Margaret is not going to have daddy's baby.

Starr: What if she did?  What would happen to the baby?

Blair: I don't know.  Child welfare, a foster -- I don't really want to talk about this now, ok?  Just -- Starr, please.

Starr: Ok, I'm sorry.

Blair: Yeah, and, you know, the whole thought of it just -- it makes me sick to my stomach.

Jack: Can we have cocoa now?

Blair: Yes, we can have cocoa now.  Come on, baby.  Come on.  I'll bring you a cup.

Margaret: You're frightening me.

Todd: Yeah, it sucks, doesn't it?  You don't know if you're going to get out of this alive.

Margaret: You can't kill me.

Todd: Oh, you signed your own death warrant when you went after my daughter.

Margaret: This is your son.

Todd: So you keep telling me.  And you're right about me, Margaret.  I'm not a nice guy.  But I'm not a monster.  If I ever held that kid or even just looked at him, I'd want to protect him.  Especially if you were his mother.

Margaret: If you hurt me, you hurt this baby.

Todd: Yeah.  That's the whole idea.

Kelly: Talking about marriage kind of scares me.

Kevin: But you're willing to talk about a baby?

Kelly: I just don't want to do anything that's going to jinx us.

Kevin: I get that.

Kelly: It's not that I'm unsure about us or that I don't love you.  I do.  I would never have a baby with somebody I didn't love.

Kevin: So we are trying to have a baby, then?

Kelly: Well, Spencer seems to think that if I got pregnant I'd be able to carry it to term.

Kevin: Wow.

Kelly: I know.

Kevin: So we're not just enjoying ourselves and having a good time.  We're actually trying to accomplish something?

Kelly: Yep.

Kevin: Well, in that case, I say we put our shoulders to the wheel.  Ah!

[Kelly laughs]

David: So you're going to circle like a vulture and feast on what's left of Todd Manning's life?

Spencer: You know, this carrion imagery that you're projecting here, it's all very interesting, but it's a little graphic, don't you think?

David: Enjoy your slim pickin's.  I got work to do.

Spencer: Come on, Dave, you know, it's quitting time.  I thought maybe we could go out and have a drink.

David: Just you, me, and a couple of Mai Tais?

Spencer: Martini, perhaps.

David: I'll pass.

Spencer: Suit yourself.  By the way, I had to get another keycard for my suite.  I couldn't find the one that I lost the other night.

David: So you came all the way over here to see if I had your keycard?

Spencer: Do you?

David: No.

Spencer: That's good, Dave.  Because if I thought you were searching my room, I would have to, as you put it, blow you out of the water.

David: Spencer, even if what Todd and Blair have falls apart -- and incidentally, I hope it does because he's a real toad -- she's not going to pick your shoulder to cry on.  She's got much better taste than that.

Spencer: We'll see, Dave.

Jack: Ah.

Blair: Was that tasty?  Ok, let's finish up our cocoa and we're off to bed.  We all got to brush our teeth.

Jack: I want to hear about when I was born.

Starr: Oh, my gosh, you heard that one, like, 400 billion times.

Jack: I want to hear it again.

Blair: Ok, ok, ok, I'll tell you the story.  You -- uh -- were born in a villa down in Mexico when your dad and I were there.

Jack: I got born in a villa.

Blair: Yes, you did, because there weren't any hospitals around or doctors, but your daddy was there and he helped bring you into the world.  Will you come over here, Starr?  I think I need a family hug.  I feel one -- I feel one coming on.

Starr: Oh, no.

Blair: Ready?  Ready?  Big family hug, everybody. Ready?  Go -- ready?  Oh!

Jack: Oh, my stomach!

Blair: We're a family, you guys.  We stick together.  And we take care of each other, because that's what families do.

Jack: Ah.

Blair: And nothing, nothing is going to come between us and break us apart.

Margaret: What are you doing?

[Splash]

Todd: Oh, why go out to our island for a little talk?  We can have it right here.

Margaret: No. I don't like the water.  You know that I can't swim!

Todd: Yeah, I know.

Margaret: Look, this is very, very stressful for me and for the baby.  Maybe I should row.

Todd: Maybe not.

Margaret: This is not -- this is not good.  What are you doing?  You're going -- you're going to turn the boat over!

Todd: What difference does it make?  I'm not the one who can't swim.

Margaret: Oh, somebody, please!

Todd: You pushed and you pushed, didn't you, Margaret?  Huh?  And you always got your way.  Well, guess what -- no more.  Did you ever hear of payback, Margaret?

Margaret: Help me!  Help me!

Adriana: I know what it means to you to work so closely with your dad.

Duke: You get that?

Adriana: If anyone's going to get it, it's me.  You grew up without him and you're trying to make up for lost time.  I'm glad you can.

Duke: Did something happen with you and your mom?

Adriana: No.  I'm just in a weird mood.  But believe me, it is not your fault.

Duke: Well, what can we do to make you feel better?  Hmm?  Cheese dog?  Uh-uh.  Ice cream.  No ice cream?  How about some music?

Adriana: Maybe some music.

Duke: Maybe some music?  All right, well, I'll go score some quarters, and then I will meet you at the jukebox in 17 seconds.

Adriana: Check.

Duke: All right.

Rex: Hey.

Adriana: You know, why can't you just leave me alone?

Rex: What is wrong?

Adriana: What's wrong?  Because of you, I had to lie to Duke, and I don't ever want to do that again, just like I don't ever want to see you again, ever.

David: Is something wrong?

Dorian: No.  Why do you ask?

David: Well, you're sitting here like you just lost your best friend, and I know that's not the case, because I'm standing immediately to your left.

Dorian: Oh.  I had a little fight with Adriana.

David: Uh-oh.  What about?

Dorian: Oh, well, what is it mothers and daughters usually fight about?

David: Which "Rambo" film was the best?

Dorian: I don't even really remember what we did fight about.

David: Well, whatever it was, I'm sure that you are completely blameless, you two are that much closer for it, and you made Adriana an even better person.

Dorian: Nobody slings it better.

David: Speaking of slinging it, I'm hungry.  I'm going to make myself a sandwich.  Got an idea.  Come with me.  Why don't you go upstairs, you draw yourself a nice not bath, and I will come upstairs and wash your back.

Dorian: Oh.  Well, nothing makes me feel better than having something to look forward to.

David: Very good.  See you in a minute?

Dorian: Yes.

David: What are you doing with a data disc in your tote bag?

Blair: We're going to live happily ever after, Starr.  Your daddy is going to make sure of that.

>> On the next "One Life to Live"...

David: Spencer, Spencer, what are you up to?

Spencer: I just caught you stealing from your employer.  What am I going to do about it?

Blair: Margaret is the murderer, not Todd.

Man: Oh, look.  A boat out there.

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