One Life to Live Transcript Monday 8/8/05
Proofread by Brandi
Tess: Jessica? Is that you crying?
Jessica: You selfish fool. You've ruined it, Tess. You've ruined everything.
Antonio: What are you doing?
Jessica: She's killing us, Antonio. She's killing us both.
Nash: Tess? Bad dream?
Tess: Yeah. Yeah, but it's over now.
Layla: "Not right for the role"? Where does he get off telling me I can't play a middle-aged nun? Angelina Jolie is, like, two years older than Colin Farrell. I mean, and she played his mother. Two weeks ago this hack was --
Antonio: Excuse me. I'm looking for the manager.
Waiter: I'll see if she's available.
Antonio: Thank you. Listen to me. The P.I. said this was the last place that Jessica was spotted, ok? I don't need you freaking out when I speak to the managers. I need to make a good impression here.
Layla: They why'd you wear that shirt?
Antonio: Ok, look, I'm sorry about your audition, but right now, all I care about is finding Jessica. Is that all right with you?
Layla: No. Actually, it's not.
Michael: Rise and shine, cupcake!
John: What the hell's wrong with you? I could have shot you. You do that one more time, I will shoot you.
Michael: Yeah, if your breath doesn't kill me first. Hey, you want to put the gun away, tough guy?
John: Yeah. What are you doing here?
Michael: You look like crap.
John: Yeah, well, I feel like crap.
Michael: Yeah. Drink this. You're dehydrated.
John: I feel like --
Michael: You're going to ralph, aren't you? Huh! Pathetic, John. Totally pathetic. Hey, you need me to hold your hair, sweetheart?
Michael: You picked a hell of a time to check out, John.
Natalie: Hello? Is anybody there? Help me, please!
Tess: Well, what? What are you looking at?
Nash: I'm looking at you.
Tess: Ok, I'll play.
Nash: Is this uncomfortable for you?
Tess: Oh, come on. You weren't that bad.
Nash: No, I mean, you know, being this close.
Tess: It's kind of a new thing for me, and -- kind of used to being the aggressor.
Nash: Hmm. So tell me about that bad dream of yours.
Tess: Yeah, they're tricky. They totally freaked me out.
Nash: Must have been some big pandas.
Tess: It was a gang of them, actually, and they had knives and they were using sarcasm.
Tess: It was awful.
Nash: I am in trouble, aren't I?
Tess: That makes two of us, buddy.
Antonio: I am here to find Jessica, end of story.
Layla: End of your story. Forgive me for being disappointed about my audition.
Antonio: That was about a job. Jessica is about my life.
Layla: My career is my life.
Antonio: You don't have a career.
Layla: And from what I've seen, you don't have a Jessica. I've seen pictures, I've heard about this goddess among women, but I haven't seen a whole lot of her. Hmm, not in New York, either. Do you have any clue where this love of your life might be, stud?
Antonio: Bringing you was a mistake.
Layla: I'm just keeping it real. And if you want to live in denial, that's your play.
Antonio: Really? And what exactly am I denying?
Layla: Oh, I don't know -- you lay mucho dinero on this skeevy P.I. to track down your girlfriend, who has you chasing your tail in an overpriced New York bistro. I don't know who's taking you for a bigger ride -- the P.I. or Jessica.
Antonio: Hey, you know, I'll be honest with you. I don't understand half of what comes out of your mouth, but maybe if you cared about someone half as much as you care about yourself, you'd understand. How's that for keeping it real? Here.
Layla: I am so not waiting in the car.
Antonio: You're driving the car back to Llanview. Goodbye.
John: You still here?
Michael: You want to tell me what last night was all about?
John: You want to stop yelling in my ear? How'd you get in here, anyway?
Michael: Roxy let me in. She's a little freaked out. And we were both wondering how you getting hammered is going to help bring Natalie home.
John: I know.
Michael: While you're taking time out of your day for the porcelain bus over there, Natalie's still missing.
John: Hey, look, I had a little too much to drink, all right?
Michael: John --
John: Cut me some slack.
Michael: You had way too much to drink. You have a problem. You got to deal with it fast. This is not just your life you're going to screw up, pal. Natalie? She's going to end up dead.
Bo: Looks a lot different from back here, huh?
Evangeline: Yeah. Now I see why people hate defense attorneys. From this side of the courtroom, it's hard to understand how anyone could represent the likes of Hayes Barber.
Bo: Yeah. Do you think that he told his lawyer where he's holding Natalie?
Evangeline: I doubt it. He would be compelled to tell if he knew. God, I hate being the victim.
Bo: You going to be ok when they bring Hayes in?
Evangeline: Oh, please. Watching that maniac get arraigned is the least I can do for Natalie. How's Viki holding up?
Bo: Well, her doctor told her to stay away from all of this. I've got a guard on her.
Evangeline: Can't imagine that went over well.
Bo: Uh-uh. I about half expect her to show up anyway. Marcie. It's nice to see you're feeling good again.
Rex: Yo --
Rex: What about me? The psycho tried to punch my ticket, too, remember?
Bo: Mm-hmm. And now I have to worry about you trying to punch his.
Marcie: Are you ready?
Bo: I thought Nora would be here.
Hugh: Yeah, she's stuck with another case. It's just a simple arraignment. Barber can either plead guilty, not guilty, or not guilty by reason of insanity.
Roxy: I don't want to hear about that plea junk. You got to make him tell me where he left my daughter.
Layla: No way I'm going home.
Antonio: I don't have time for this. I'll take the train home later.
Layla: Just like that?
Antonio: Layla, this is important, ok? Jessica might be in trouble.
Layla: How long are you planning on waiting on your lady fair, Romeo? What if there is no dragon to slay?
Antonio: What the hell are you talking about?
Layla: The woman doesn't call, you don't know where she is. She's got you sniffing all over New York looking for her. Hey, Einstein, has it ever occurred to you that Jessica doesn't want to be found?
Antonio: You know what? Despite what you think, you don't know anything about me, and you certainly don't know anything about my relationship with Jessica.
Layla: Hmm. Oh, I know relationships.
Antonio: Huh! Yeah, right, you do. You're a kid, ok? You got your head above the clouds and some big romantic ideas from the movies and -- and plays that you see. That's what you think love is all about.
Layla: Well, I know how this story ends, sweetheart. Boy loves girl, girlfriend freaks and runs to the big city, boy chases girl, girl breaks his heart and dumps his sorry butt.
Nash: All right, so do we dump it and eat the loss or ride it out? All right, dump it. Hey, we'll make it up on the other end. Oh, come on, I got a charmed life, you know that.
Tess: What do those red arrows mean?
Nash: Well, the red arrows are my profits going down the tube.
Tess: Wow. So you're losing money and you're still smiling. What gives?
Nash: Well, that's how the markets work. You win some, you lose a lot. But, hey, you got to be brave to survive the urban jungle, right?
Tess: I think one of us better get a real job, pronto. And it's a good thing that I'm going to nail that job I'm interviewing for today.
Nash: The fashion designer thing?
Tess: I faxed them my résumé, greased them over the phone. They love me, I know it.
Nash: Well, it's New York city. You never can tell.
Tess: I can tell.
Tess: It's just this entry-level position. But give me a week, and I'll be running the joint.
Nash: You are so overqualified for this.
Tess: What, you don't think that I can climb the corporate ladder?
Nash: Oh, I think you got a jet pack and you're going to burn that ladder on your way up.
Tess: Sounds like you really believe in me or something.
Nash: I am counting on you to keep me in the style to which I have become accustomed.
John: You brought coffee. Now get out.
Michael: You don't see this as being just a little messed up? Hey, Bo practically has to force you to take a day off, and the best you can come up with is going out and getting plowed?
John: How do you know about that?
Michael: I checked up on my big brother. Forgive me.
John: You know what, Mike? I don't need you tracking me.
Michael: Johnny, I don't know what's going on with you and Natalie. Obviously, you don't know what's going on with you and Natalie.
Michael: Everybody can see that her not being back -- it's messing with you. Now, I can see, because I know you well enough. I can see that you're drowning, Johnny. And all that crap with Caitlin, Evangeline, dad, or whatever else it is you've decided you're responsible for in the world.
Michael: Let me tell you something, John. Something's going to break, and I'm afraid it's going to be you.
John: Leave it alone, Mike.
Michael: Well, maybe you like going out and beating the crap out of yourself night after night.
John: I said drop it, ok?
Michael: Let me tell you something. Evangeline dumping you -- best thing she ever did. Let's face it, Johnny, you're damaged goods. Sometimes I think you like it that way.
John: Yeah? You know what I'd like? I'd like for you to get out. And I'd like you not to come back till Christmas.
Roxy: You make him tell --
Rex: Roxy --
Roxy: You make -- hey! Stop it! Stop it! You don't get it! This sicko goes to the judge, tells the guy he's nuts, he gets to walk after everything that he did? Look, we don't even know if Natalie is alive.
Rex: Roxy, you've got to chill. The judge is going to be here.
Roxy: I can't because she's all alone, and you know how freaked out she gets when it's dark. Can't let him get away with it.
Bo: Roxy, look, we're doing all we can to make Hayes tell us where Natalie is.
Roxy: Well, just beat it out of him. Get a phone book and hit him with it, because it doesn't leave any marks.
Rex: That's not a bad idea. Ok, then again, maybe it's a good thing that we're all here and calm.
Roxy: What, calm? I'm not calm. Why? Why is it a good idea?
Bo: Look, this clown likes an audience. He hasn't had one in his cell.
Rex: Maybe this guy'll come out here and make himself feel big by telling us how he's smarter than us, how he's been keeping Natalie alive someplace and we couldn't find her.
Roxy: Commish, just be honest with me. Do you think she's still kicking?
Bo: I don't see Natalie checking out without a fight. Come on. Come on, let's get a seat.
Roxy: You son of a bitch. You son of a bitch, you tell me where my baby is! You tell me what happened to her! You tell me!
Roxy: Tell me where she is, you psychotic bum!
Rex: Roxy, stop, he's not going to give us anything. Huh?
Man: Hugh, you are lucky the judge didn't see that.
Hugh: Are you planning your appeal? Good. Because we got your client cold. I hope he likes orange. He'll be wearing it a long time. Listen, I know you're upset about your daughter --
Roxy: You're just a lawyer. You don't know squat.
Bo: Roxy, look, if you keep this up, you could end up helping Hayes' case. We'll be no closer to finding Natalie.
Rex: Believe me, I'd take this guy out myself if I could.
Bo: Yeah, and he knows that. This is the best way to deal with Hayes.
Rex: Right. This is the best way to handle it.
Roxy: You know, you disappoint me. I raised you to be a pit bull.
Rex: Well, the commish has been keeping me on a short leash. He actually knows what he's talking about. Go figure.
Marcie: Look at him. He's just sitting there. He looks so smug.
Evangeline: Yeah. I'll bet he's setting up his insanity plea.
Marcie: Did you just see that?
Evangeline: Yeah, I did, but the judge won't. Look, Hayes' only chance is to convince the judge that he's incompetent to stand trial.
Marcie: I can't believe any of this, Evangeline. I can't believe that I went to high school with him, that he -- that he killed all those people. I mean, how could I have worked with him all that time and never seen any of it?
Evangeline: Well, look at all he did to cover his tracks. He had major reconstructive surgery. I mean, he took on a whole other life.
Marcie: I guess you're right. You looking for John?
Marcie: I thought he'd be here, too.
Evangeline: I'll be back.
Michael: You're out of milk.
John: You know, that box was there when I moved in.
Michael: How come you're not at the arraignment? I mean, Barber's being arraigned today. You're acting like it's any other Monday.
John: They don't need me there until the trial starts.
Michael: What are you hiding from, John? I know this Hayes guy -- I know he doesn't have you spooked. But he does have Natalie. He might let something slip, something that only you -- only you could pick up on, John.
John: Barber's lawyer is looking for any excuse he can get to declare a mistrial.
Michael: So what are you going to do, John? You going to jump back in that bottle?
John: No. Mike, I'm going into the station and I'm going to reassign the task force to stop pursuing barber and start looking for Natalie. That's what I'm going to do.
Michael: I just wish you'd talk to me, John.
John: What the hell do you want me to say?
Michael: Tell me why you can't face Barber.
John: I'm afraid I'm going to kill him.
Antonio: You never met Jessica.
Layla: I don't have to meet her. I can see how she's treating you.
Antonio: Who the hell do you think you are?
Layla: Hmm. Getting defensive? I must have hit a sore spot.
Antonio: You're about to hit the road -- without my car.
Layla: Hmm -- so much for being the best agent I ever had.
Antonio: You know what? Maybe you should have slept with that producer.
Layla: That hurts.
Antonio: I'm sorry. That was a cheap shot.
Layla: No. I started it. You really think I'm a diva?
Antonio: Would that be a good thing or a bad thing?
Layla: I certainly have the makings of a diva, but the calling-me-a-kid thing has gotten old. And it pushes my buttons.
Antonio: Hmm. And you're way above that.
Layla: I've pushed a few. But I probably should be easy on Jessica. Like you said, I've never met her. And I'm sure she's lovely.
Antonio: You can't help yourself, can you?
Layla: I'm trying. Don't I get points for that? What do you say? Truce?
Man: Hello. I'm told you're looking for the manager.
Man: I'm sorry, she's unavailable at the moment. Is there something I can help you with?
Antonio: Hopefully. I'm looking for -- for this woman.
Tess: Yes, hi. I faxed over a résumé for the executive assistant job. But once you meet me, you're going to stop looking. Huh. Well, you sound like lots of fun, too. My name? It's Tess. Oh -- um -- yeah, the one on the application -- that's my legal name. It's -- Jessica. Jessica Buchanan. Yeah, but I go by Tess. Ok? Perfect. Well, I'll see you then. Oh, my God, there is a hot man dripping in my living room.
Tess: Guess who has a job interview today.
Nash: I don't know. Why don't you tell me -- Jessica?
Tess: You're lucky you look so yummy in this towel. Otherwise, I'd have to spank you for listening in.
Nash: Ok. So I'm just going to pretend that you didn't just apply for a job using your dead twin sister's name?
Tess: I thought that you liked it that I was mysterious.
Nash: Mysterious, yeah -- creepy, not so.
Tess: What do you want from me?
Nash: After last night, I want everything. Ok, look. I don't know what it's like to have a twin sister, never mind what it's like to lose one.
Tess: I'm over it, ok?
Nash: Is it something you can just get over? Because -- ok. I'm asking too many questions again, huh? So I'll stop. I won't be possessive, I won't ask about your past. I'll just take what you give me and hope that you're everything I need you to be, and I'll pray that I don't wake up some day and realize that you've been nothing but a dream, not real at all.
Tess: Pretty scary, right?
Nash: Yeah. But I'll call you Tess or Jess or whatever you want me to call you and I'll knock out guys in restaurants because they hassle you. I won't ask about your money or how you got it or how, where, when, or why you come and go as you want. What?
Tess: You're messing with my head here, this whole reverse psychology B.S. that you're pulling to get me to tell you things that I don't want to?
Nash: I am not.
Tess: You think that just because I used Jessica's name and social security number, I'm trying to cover up something, right?
Nash: Actually, I didn't know about the social security number.
Tess: There you go. You see? You already have stuff that you can use against me.
Nash: And why would I do that?
Tess: Because that's what everybody has done my whole entire life. They've locked me in a box, used personal information against me to make me disappear. Do you have any idea what I have gone through just even to be free, to take a breath, to exist?
Nash: "Exist" -- I have no idea what you're talking about.
Tess: And I don't feel like I have to explain it. Why can't you just love me for who I am?
Antonio: She was seen last on July 29 here at this restaurant.
Man: She looks familiar.
Antonio: There was an altercation that evening. This gentleman, Todd Manning, was arrested for disorderly conduct.
Man: Him, I remember, yeah. I was working that night.
Antonio: Ok, good. So, did you see her?
Man: Yes, yes, I think so, but I think she left before the fight started.
Antonio: Ok, did she have any contact with Manning?
Man: I don't usually keep tabs on all our patrons. I let the cops handle it.
Antonio: Ok. I'll get in touch with the arresting officer. Where's the closest precinct?
Man: On 34th street. Is that all?
Antonio: Yeah. Thanks.
Layla: I'm impressed. That was very "NYPD Blue," "L.A. Confidential."
Layla: I could be a cop.
Antonio: Yeah. Oh, this is huge. What have you got? Oh, this is great. Yeah, just call me back if you dig up anything else. All right. Ok, the P.I. got a hit on Jessica's social security number -- some background check on an application for some fashion designer here in town.
Layla: Well, I thought you said she was a reporter.
Antonio: I got the address. Give me the keys.
Layla: Forget it. You're too pumped up to drive, and I want to be a smash on Broadway, but not like that. Fine, but I'm coming with you. I love this whole "Cops" stuff. I'll take shotgun.
Michael: Did something happen with you and barber you're not telling me about?
John: Yes, something happened. I nearly choked him to death. No one saw.
Michael: Oh, well, that's -- that's just great, John! Yeah, then it's ok, right? What, are you nuts? Please, tell me that this is not something that this jerk can use to get off the hook with.
John: Worst case, it might bring some heat from I.A.
Michael: Well, I guess I -- I understand why you did it.
John: He's got Natalie, Mike.
Michael: Yeah, and his corpse is going to tell us how to get her back, where she is.
John: That's the only thing that stopped me.
Michael: This is not good, John.
John: Oh, there's more.
Michael: Ok. Um -- I'm going to sit down for this. Ok, hit me.
John: Well, at the height of my little drinking binge, I decided -- I decided, well, I needed to talk to Evangeline.
Michael: Man. When you decide to torch your life, you do not mess around. I'm telling you, Johnny, I would've paid money to see that.
John: You realize I have a gun, right?
Michael: You realize that's pathetic, right, John? Drunken booty call on your ex?
John: I didn't call.
Michael: You didn't? John, you went over there? Wow. Huh. How'd that work out for you? Yeah -- obviously not the way you planned, seeing as I found you passed out here.
John: We talked.
Michael: You don't remember any of it, do you?
John: Not much. Some. Enough.
Michael: Oh. You didn't beg. Please, Johnny, tell me you didn't beg because if you did, I'm telling you, I got to find a new hero.
John: I realized she deserves better than me, mike.
Michael: John? I'm going to court with Marcie today. You know Hayes Barber isn't the guy who's going to take you out.
John: I'm doing that all by myself, right?
Michael: So stop it right now, John. Come with me. Come to court. Face Barber. I got your back, brother. Big time.
Bo: He's going to go with insanity, right?
Hugh: Yeah, there's not much else.
Bailiff: All rise. This is case number 45DSW321, the commonwealth of Pennsylvania vs. Hayes Barber, the honorable judge Howard Lee presiding.
Judge: Be seated.
Hugh: Your honor, if it pleases the court, the prosecution would like to make a rather unorthodox request. We believe a woman's life depends on it.
Natalie: Damn it, no! Why hasn't anyone found me?
Tess: Ok, let's not freak out here. I didn't mean "love" like how you mean it when you say it to somebody when you --
Nash: It's ok. I know exactly what you meant. You've never been in a relationship before, have you?
Tess: Well, I just don't understand why people get so hung up on words like "love" and "relationship." I don't --
Nash: I'll take that as a no. You are so beautiful.
Tess: Ah, you're just saying that because you think you're going to get some.
Nash: I don't think I'll ever figure you out.
Tess: Are you complaining?
Nash: Uh-uh-uh. I'm giving in. You don't know me. It's hard for me to do.
Tess: Hmm. You have some secrets? Anything you want to tell me?
Nash: Uh-uh. I'm an open book.
Tess: And I'm not. Just can't it be enough that I'm here? Do you have to know every little dirty corner of my life to believe in me, to be with me? Do I have to --
Nash: I just want you to be who you are.
Judge: You may proceed, Mr. Hughes.
Hugh: Your honor, the state has reason to believe that the accused is still holding yet another victim and he's the only person who can tell us if she's dead or alive.
Lawyer: Your honor, the presumption of guilt here is astounding. My client --
Judge: Is entitled to a fair trial, which he will receive. Take your seats, gentlemen.
Bo: It was worth a shot.
Judge: Hayes Barber. You stand charged with the kidnapping and attempted murder of Rex Balsom and Marcie Walsh. How do you plead?
Lawyer: My client pleads not guilty by reason of insanity, your honor.
Rex: Are you kidding me?
[Judge pounds gavel]
Judge: Order! Mr. Hughes?
Hugh: Your honor, the state would like the court to know that these are only the first in a series of charges that will be leveled against Mr. Barber. They'll include multiple homicides, three counts of attempted murder, conspiracy, unlawful imprisonment, and kidnapping. And these charges are being presented to a grand jury later today.
Judge: Duly noted. Mr. Barber, you will be remanded to corrections for a psychiatric assessment to determine if you are fit to stand trial. See you in court, gentlemen.
Roxy: Your honor?
Rex: Roxy --
Roxy: Stop it. Stop. I need to say something.
Judge: Who are you?
Roxy: I'm just a mother of the missing girl, Natalie Vega.
Lawyer: Your honor --
Judge: Perhaps your client needs to hear this. Please, go on.
Roxy: Thank you, your honor. My little girl is missing. And this guy is the only one who knows where she is. And he's already told the cops that he has her and that he's tortured her. Now, nobody has any idea whether she's alive. Either way, what I need is I need to bring my daughter back.
Natalie: I'm going to die here.
Layla: This is 600 west 66th street, but is this the right office?
Antonio: This is the address the P.I. gave me. Hopefully, with any luck at all, Jessica will be here any minute.
Tess: I'm not going to make my interview, am I?
Nash: Where is it?
Tess: 600 west 66th street.
Nash: Well, you better get going.
Tess: Yeah, yeah, you're probably right, but -- oops. Look -- look what I did. I'm such a bad girl.
Roxy: Half the people in this courtroom are here because they're nuts about Natty. And that's the kind of kid she is. And she's so special, she's t two moms. And I'm proud to say that I'm one of them. They got rules and laws to protect this guy's rights -- well, what about Natalie's rights? And the cops can't seem to get him to spill any information, but maybe you can. Because either way, I got to find out what happened to my baby.
Judge: Is your client willing to address the issue of the missing woman, counselor?
Lawyer: Your honor, the mental health of my client is questionable at best. I'm not even sure he understands what I'm asking him.
Judge: I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm afraid that there's nothing more this court can do.
Rex: Are you -- this is where my taxes go. You're pathetic --
Judge: I'll add my prayers to those hoping for your daughter's safe return. This court is adjourned for a 10-day recess to complete the psychiatric exam of the defendant.
Hayes: You'll never find her.
Marcie: Hugh, do you think he's going to pass the psych test?
Hugh: Depends on how good an actor he is.
Marcie: Well, he managed to fool a lot of people for a really long time.
Hugh: Hey, you look like you could use a break from all this. Let me buy you some coffee, all right?
Roxy: Boy, I really screwed up, didn't I?
Bo: Oh, hey. You did just fine, Roxy.
Marcie: What are you doing here?
Michael: Oh, I talked to your brother Ron. He said you'd be here. Marcie, I -- I thought that we were going to do this together.
Marcie: Well, I kind of needed to do this on my own.
Hugh: You ready to go, Marcie?
Marcie: Yeah. I'll see you around?
Michael: Yeah. See you around.
John: Hey, you --
Bo: You look like I feel.
John: Yeah, well, see what happens when you tell me to take the night off?
Bo: Yeah, did you get any perspective on this case?
John: I'll tell you when my ears stop ringing.
Bo: Hmm. You know, you missed Evangeline. She was wondering about you. I think she's looking for you right now.
John: Probably figures I'm in a gutter somewhere.
Bo: Did you two go out last night?
John: No, she was at home.
Bo: You drunk-dialed her?
John: Actually, I stopped by.
Bo: Ooh. Bet that sobered you up in a hurry.
John: Not as much as all this did today.
Roxy: Hey, Johnny. Listen, you're Natty's last hope. Promise me you'll bring her home, please?
Bo: We'll find her, Roxy.
Rex: Come on, Rox. Let's go give Viki an update.
Roxy: Yeah, it's a good thing the doctor didn't let her go out because it could've killed her, because I know it's killing me.
Bo: I'll see you back at the office.
Evangeline: You made it.
John: Yeah, I made it.
Evangeline: Just being in the same room with that Barber was intense. It's almost too much to imagine that Natalie is still out there somewhere suffering through this, if she's even --
John: We're going to find her.
Evangeline: You have to do whatever it takes to bring her back, John. Find her no matter what you have to do, and then you nail this son of a bitch.
Natalie: John, where are you? You've got to find me. Please. Help me.
>> On the next "One Life to Live" --
Blair: What are you going to do if Asa hasn't taken care of Margaret?
Margaret: As far as Blair is concerned, all you have to do is kill her.
Antonio: I'm supposed to meet a friend of mine here, Jessica Buchanan.
Tess: Bye-bye, Jessica. Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
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