One Life to Live Transcript Tuesday 10/5/04
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Proofread by Melle
Father Ignacio: Augustico, Jessica, please, join hands. Augustico, do you take Jessica to be your wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, to love, honor, and cherish for as long as you both shall live?
Tico: I do.
Shannon: Somebody you didn't want to talk to?
Rex: Yeah, everybody.
Shannon: Or did you think it was Paul Cramer?
Rex: I don't care.
Shannon: Rex, I do. I mean, how much money do the two of you owe R.J. Gannon? What do you think he's going to do to you when you don't pay him?
Rex: We will, ok? Look, I just got a bundle from Asa Buchanan for pulling him up out of that hole in the ground, ok, and -- and Paul told me he's good for some cash. There's nothing to worry about.
Jen: What do you think you're doing? How did you even get in here?
Paul: The -- the door was open.
Jen: No, it wasn't. I left with my mom, and she locked the door and put the alarm on.
Paul: Well, she gave me a key.
Jen: Well, why would she do that?
Paul: Because she wanted me to stop by and check up on things, and I wanted to make sure that the money was all there, you know?
Jen: Ok, ok. One phone call to her, and I can tell if you're lying. There's a security camera, too.
Jen: It's hidden. But I'm sure it caught everything. You were trying to steal from her, just like you and Rex were trying to do before.
Paul: Wait, wait, what are you doing?
Jen: I'm calling the cops.
Blair: Hey, good-looking.
Blair: I still think you should get that wound checked out.
Todd: No, I'm feeling better. Antibiotics are kicking in. Besides, doctors call cops when people get shot.
Blair: I don't know why it matters anyway. You're going to drop that thing you're doing with Asa being crazy anyway, right?
Todd: Can't I let him squirm just a little bit in his padded cell?
Blair: Todd. You weren't lying before when you said that you were going to drop this business with Kevin, right?
Duke: Hey, dad. What's going on?
Kevin: Oh, just the usual. What's going on with you?
Duke: Well, I actually need to talk about something.
Kevin: What, school?
Duke: No, no, school's going fine. It's Adriana. I mean, we're just friends, but Dorian's doing whatever she can to keep us away from each other. I need your help. I need you on my side.
[Knock on door]
Kevin: Hold on.
Dorian: Kevin, I need to have a word with you. It's about my daughter, Adriana, and your son, Duke. I don't think that they should be spending so much time together. In fact, I don't think they should be spending any time together at all. I need you to be on my side.
Father Ignacio: Do you, Jessica Eugenia Buchanan, take Augustico Santi to be your husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, to love, honor, and cherish for as long as you both shall live?
Antonio: Don't do it, Jess.
Paul: Listen, you can't call the cops, all right? John McBain will crucify me.
Jen: Yeah, I hope he does.
Paul: Look, there's got to be something we can do, huh? I mean, I'll do whatever you want -- anything, all right? Just -- just don't call the cops.
Jen: Ok. There is something you can do.
Paul: What? Name it.
Jen: Stay away from my mother. If you do that, I won't call the cops. I'll even erase the security tape.
Paul: I mean, I'll try and stay away from her, but, I mean, if she's got the “hots” for me --
Jen: Oh, she doesn't care about you. Guys like you and Rex -- they're like a drug for her, and I'm not going to let her sucked into that again. So if you come within 20 feet of her, I will call the cops and you're going to be busted. You got it? That's my offer -- my mom or jail.
Paul: Ok. All right, fine. I'm out of her life and out of here.
Jen: I thought so.
Lindsay: What are you doing here?
Paul: Uh, look, I -- I got to go.
Lindsay: Uh -- something I said?
Paul: No, no, but -- bye.
Lindsay: Well, he left in a hurry.
Jen: Yeah, because I told him never to see you again.
Jen: Mom, he was trying to rob you.
Lindsay: He was trying to --
Jen: Yes! I walked in here, and I caught him taking money out of this box. You can check the security tape.
Jen: Wait, what, you thought he cared about you? No, mom, all he wants is your money.
Lindsay: No, that -- that I knew.
Jen: Ok, good. Good, because I'm going to have him thrown in jail if he ever comes near you again. I'm sorry, but that's just what's best. I mean, I cannot let someone like Paul Cramer ruin your life. I just -- I can't let that happen.
Blair: You promised me.
Todd: Have I done anything to Kevin since then?
Blair: No, because you've been sicker than a dog.
Todd: When has that ever stopped me?
Blair: Todd, please tell me that you're going to keep your word by ending this battle with Kevin. Please.
Todd: If it'll make you happy.
Blair: It'll make me happy. And you won't mind what I'm going to do next. Sorry.
Todd: What are you going to do next?
Blair: I am going to give Asa back his land.
Todd: Have you totally lost your mind?
Blair: What's the problem here, Todd?
Todd: Ok, I'm not saying we have to keep it. But let's at least sell it to him.
Blair: Of course I'm going to sell it! What, you think I'm crazy? I'm Blair Cramer, after all.
Todd: You're Blair manning, after all.
Blair: Yeah, if you behave.
Todd: Yeah. I don't think you really want that, do you?
Blair: Hmm? Hmm?
Dorian: Something has to be done about Adriana and Duke.
Duke: And what exactly is it you'd like to do?
Dorian: Excuse me. I would like to make your father realize that it's not a very good idea for you and Adriana to be so constantly in each other's company.
Duke: I'm sorry, ma'am, but I don't think he's going to go along with that. Are you, dad?
Kevin: Well, as much as I hate to agree with Dorian, I'm going to have to.
Kevin: Now, listen to me. This is the best thing for you. The Cramers are poison to us. They do nothing but cause problems for us.
Dorian: Oh, really? And what about what you have done to us? I'm not going to talk about the past, about Cassie or Blair. No, no, no, let's just talk about the present, what you have done to Kelly. You have nearly driven her over the edge with your constant efforts to destroy her life!
Kevin: How many times do I have to tell you this? Kelly brought this on herself, and she tried to pull me and Ace down with her. Thank god I didn't let her do that! And you know what? I'm not about to let one of your Cramer girls pull my son into some crazy thing like Kelly has done to me.
Dorian: What --
Kevin: No, you listen to me. For once I will agree with you, ok? We're on the same side. My family and your family are off-limits to each other.
Duke: I am not some kind of kid here. I don't know have to follow your blueprint for my life.
Kevin: Well, yeah, you do, if I'm paying your college tuition and I'm footing your bills.
Duke: You know what? Fine! Cut me off. You have absolutely no right to tell me who I can and cannot spend my time with.
Tico: I'm going to have to ask you to leave or I'm calling the police.
Antonio: I need to talk to you, Jessica.
Tico: Leave her alone, Antonio.
Jessica: I'll handle this, Tico. What are you doing here?
Antonio: That's what I came here to ask you.
Jessica: Antonio, you have no right -- no right to come here and try to stop my wedding. Now just go.
Antonio: Jessica, you don't love him.
Jessica: How do you know what I feel?
Antonio: Because I know what it's like to feel your love, to see you in love -- the smile in your eyes, the glow in your face, the happiness that takes over your entire body.
Jessica: Don't -- don't do that to me.
Antonio: I can't let you marry someone who's going to hurt you.
Jessica: How do you know that? Hmm? How? See? You're doing it again, Antonio. You're keeping things from me.
Antonio: And you think Tico isn't?
Jessica: Tico has opened up to me in a way that you never will. And I --
Antonio: Is that what this is --
Jessica: I need that.
Antonio: Is that what this is about? Huh? Payback because I kept things from you?
Jessica: This isn't about you, Antonio.
Antonio: No? Then what is it about, Jess? Tell me, because it's certainly not about love.
Jessica: You don't think I can love anybody else?
Antonio: You hardly know the guy.
Jessica: Didn't stop you with Sonia.
Antonio: Sonia has nothing to do with this.
Jessica: Really? So you're not seeing her anymore?
Antonio: I'm just working on something with her.
Jessica: That's all it is? Work?
Antonio: I don't love Sonia. I love you. I know -- I know this is hard, asking you to wait for me. But I'm this close -- this close to finding the answers that I need. And I'm not just doing this for me. I'm doing this for you, too, to keep you safe. Please, Jess, please, just hold on a little while longer.
Jessica: Then I need to know something. You know, maybe you can keep things from me, but I know that you can't lie to me. So, did you sleep with Sonia?
Jessica: Answer me -- yes or no. Did you sleep with Sonia?
[Knock on door]
Shannon: Aren't you going to get that?
Rex: No, no, it's -- it's just some package I was expecting. I told them to leave it downstairs.
[Pounding on door]
Paul: Yo! Rex! Come on, man, I know you're in there!
Shannon: You better get that.
Rex: Ok, this isn't a good time, ok?
Paul: Oh, well, gee, golly, I'm so sorry, Rex, but you and I need to have a conversation. In private.
Rex: Look, I'll meet up with you later, ok?
Shannon: Look, maybe I can help.
Rex: No, I don't want you getting involved, ok? I'll -- I'll make it up to you, I promise.
Shannon: If anything happens to Rex because of you, you're toast. Got it?
Rex: Ok, so, what's the problem? Got the money for R.J.?
Paul: You know, I was this close to making the balance.
Rex: Oh, so you're still a little short?
Paul: Yeah, well, it's not my fault, Rex.
Rex: Yeah, well, it's your problem. I came up with a bundle.
Paul: Well, R.J. Says it's both our problems until the bill is fully paid.
Rex: You talked to him?
Paul: Yeah, yeah, right before I got here.
Rex: What the hell was I thinking, getting involved with a screw up like you?
Paul: Well, gosh, Rex. You know, I am trying. It's not like I've stumbled across a mega-billionaire stuck in a hole lately.
Rex: Yeah, well, you better think of something, ok, because I am not taking the heat for you!
Rex: Yeah? What? Ok. Yeah, I'll be downstairs. Listen, I got to go pick up a package. Why don't you start thinking about how you're going to dig us out of this hole.
Paul: What do we have here? "Lindsay at U.V. -- Triple-x rated." Hmm.
Lindsay: It's not your job to worry about me. You do know that, right?
Jen: So you'll stay away from Paul?
Lindsay: Well, I guess I will if you're blackmailing him.
Jen: That's not what I'm doing. I'm letting him off the hook for trying to steal from you. He had your key! He stole it!
Lindsay: I thought I lost that. Are you sure? Are you sure he stole it? Are you sure he was stealing --
Jen: Mom, check the security tape if you don't believe me. Rex is probably the one that put him up to it.
Lindsay: No, that I don't want to believe.
Jen: Why? Why? Because you still care about him?
Lindsay: You know what? I'm not enjoying this conversation. In fact, I'm not even enjoying thinking about this conversation, so let's talk about doing something else. For example, we could be girls -- get some food, cook it up, have some good talk, maybe try to figure out all the weird stuff that's going on down at the love project.
Jen: I'm sorry for blaming you for that.
Lindsay: It's ok. You're worried about me. I -- I'm handling things. I just want you to know that.
Lindsay: I'm handling things. So, do we have a date?
Jen: Sure. Yeah, that'll be fun.
Lindsay: So, then, this is what's going to happen. I'm going to leave, go to the store, get our favorite things, going to come back here, have tons of fun. In the meantime, you watch the joint.
Lindsay: All right. I'll be right back.
Jen: Rex, it's Jen. Listen, I want you to keep your little friend Paul away from my mother. I don't want you or Paul hurting my mom. If either one of you do, I'll make you very sorry. Don't think I won't.
[Answering machine beeps]
Automated voice: Message deleted.
Dorian: Thank heaven! For once in your life, you're finally showing good judgment. Duke would be a very bad influence on Adriana.
Kevin: Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Duke would be a bad -- you know what, Dorian? I don't care what you think. All I care about is keeping Duke as far away from the Cramer insanity as possible.
Dorian: You really know the right buttons to push.
Kevin: Well, they're the right buttons because they're a fact. Your sister Addie and Melinda -- they're already in the loony bin. We all know what happened to Cassie. Kelly's about this far from joining them. And Blair -- well, you have to admit, she's got a couple of screws loose just for getting involved with Todd Manning again.
Dorian: And was it ever exactly determined how many alter personalities your mother had?
Kevin: The further the Buchanans and the Cramers are from each other, the better.
Dorian: Right. And that would include Tico because he is Adriana's half brother.
Kevin: Is that supposed to bother me?
Dorian: You two have gotten so chummy, and he does seem to have an unlimited supply of money to pump into your campaign.
Kevin: Have you ever heard of contribution caps?
Dorian: Oh, we're both well aware that there are so many ways that you can funnel money into a campaign.
Kevin: Oh, like maybe 100 million or so? Dorian, you -- it's unbelievable. You're so transparent. Look, if you want to know if Tico got his hands on Manuel Santi's stash that the feds couldn't find, why don't you just run off and ask him yourself?
Dorian: Good idea. But be forewarned -- if you or Tico know anything about that money, I will find out.
Tico: What is taking so long?
Natalie: Hold on. Leave them alone!
Tico: Excuse me?
Natalie: Well, what are you so worried about, Tico? I mean, if Jessica loves you and wants to marry you as much as you say she does, then I guess Antonio's not going to convince her otherwise, right?
Jessica: Answer the question, Antonio. Did you sleep with Sonia?
Antonio: I never stopped loving you.
Jessica: I guess that's my answer.
Adriana: Tico --
Tico: I'm fine.
Father Ignacio: Perhaps you'd like to postpone the wedding.
Tico: No. Jessica will marry me. Isn't that right, Jessica? You're not going to let him come here and ruin the happiest day of our lives, are you?
Shannon: Hey, got a minute?
Roxy: For Rex's squeeze of the week? Oh, yeah, sure. Pull up a stool.
Shannon: Hey, look, it's different than with the other girls.
Roxy: Like you can call Lindsay a girl?
Shannon: He cares about me.
Roxy: Yeah, honey, I'm sure that he does. So, what is it that you want from me? You want my blessing? You know, if you buy me a nice, strong Bloody Mary, I'll be very amendable.
Shannon: I want to talk to you about Paul Cramer.
Roxy: What, are you shacking up with him, too?
Roxy: Because he's babe-a-licious. But he's a handful. I mean, even Natalie couldn't deal with him.
Shannon: Look, I think Paul's got Rex involved in some really bad stuff. The guy's out of control. You don't understand what he's capable of. And this time, I don't think Rex is going to be able to get out of it.
Rex: Figure out how you're going to come up with the money for R.J.?
Paul: Yeah. Yeah, I got something in mind.
Rex: Oh. What?
Paul: Oh, Rex, don't worry about it.
Rex: Well, you better not mess up this time or we're both screwed. And I'll save R.J. The trouble and take you out for him.
Paul: Don't worry about it. I mean, nobody's going to get screwed.
Paul: Except for Lindsay.
Kevin: You know what, Dorian? If you want to get yourself beat up over the Santi millions, It's fine with me. At least it'll keep you out of my hair.
Dorian: Oh, don't worry about me. I'm the queen of multitasking. I can run the hospital, I can find the Santi fortune, I can get Kelly's baby back from you, and all without chipping a nail.
Kevin: Oh, boy, you really have lost it, haven't you? Why don't you go back to La Boulet and run the asylum.
[Knock on door]
Dorian: Oh --
Kevin: Oh, look, another escapee. Hey, come on in. Check your straitjacket at the door.
Blair: Ok, what is that supposed to mean?
Dorian: Oh, Kevin is just confusing vulgarity with humor. It's a Buchanan trait.
Blair: What are you doing here, Dorian?
Dorian: Kevin and I just finished making the terms of a deal.
Blair: A deal? Hmm, that's funny. I'm here to offer you a deal, Kevin.
Kevin: Oh, no, Blair. I am not going to roll over while you and Todd squat in my grandfather's house.
Blair: How about if we sell the land to you?
Kevin: Are you willing to give it up?
Blair: For the right price.
Kevin: And Todd's ok with this?
Blair: Oh, yeah. He's totally behind it. The war between you two is officially over.
Mrs. Bigelow: "The Sun" can be up and publishing in no time.
Todd: Terrific. The election's in a month. We need to make sure the public's well-informed about their candidates. Especially candidate Buchanan.
[Mrs. Bigelow laughs]
Tico: I love you, Jessica. I offer you my heart, my home, my life. And I promise that every day of my life, I will give fully to you, to your happiness.
Antonio: I know who you are. I know you're El Tiburon. I know you killed our mother.
Tico: Prove it.
Antonio: I will. I'm getting you out of here.
Jessica: I'm not going anywhere with you.
Antonio: You don't know who he is.
Jessica: No, Antonio, I don't know who you are. All that you've done is lie to me and hide things from me, and I'm so tired of it. Just let me be happy.
Antonio: He's not going to make you happy. He's going to destroy you! Damn it, Jessica, look, if you don't want to be with me, that's one thing. But you can't marry him!
Jessica: I'm sorry. Can we please continue?
Natalie: Jessica, Antonio still loves you.
Jessica: I don't care. He doesn't have a say in this. He doesn't have a say in my life anymore at all. Please continue.
Tico: Yes, go ahead.
Father Ignacio: Do you, Jessica Eugenia Buchanan, take Augustico Santi to be your husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, to love, honor, and cherish for as long as you both shall live?
Jessica: I do.
Father Ignacio: Then I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.
Natalie: Ahem. I'm sorry, jess, I can't stay.
Tico: I'm sorry about all that.
Jessica: No. No, I'm sorry. This is supposed to be the happiest day of our life.
Tico: I've never been happier, Jessica. And I promise on my life that you will not regret a single day that you're married to me. Adriana, thank you for being here. But it's time for me to take my bride home.
Adriana: Sure. Congratulations.
Duke: Hey, congratulations, guys!
Jessica: Thanks, Duke.
Tico: Thank you.
Duke: So, how was the wedding?
Adriana: Well, it was unlike any I've ever been to before. Did you talk to your dad?
Duke: He can be such a jerk sometimes.
Adriana: He's not going to help us?
Duke: No, it was unbelievable. I mean, it's like my dad and your mom are partners now. They both want to keep us from seeing each other.
Dorian: Blair, I don't think you should give up your interest in Asa's property.
Blair: No. Oh, no, I am not giving away anything. I'm here to sell it to you.
Kevin: Yeah, yeah, shut up, Dorian. What's the price?
Blair: Fair market value.
Kevin: Uh-huh. And the catch is?
Blair: You and Todd have to put down your weapons.
Dorian: Oh, I can see that happening.
Blair: Todd will do it. All you have to do, Kevin, is sign this paper.
Kevin: Wait a minute, this is more than top dollar.
Blair: Oh, I think it comps out. You want the real estate, don't you? And you want Todd and me out of your life, right?
Kevin: Oh, yeah. That's worth anything.
Blair: Thought so.
Kevin: All right. There we go.
Kevin: We have a deal. This is really too bad, you know -- the way this happened between us. It could've been so much more.
Blair: I really don't know what I ever saw in you, Kevin. Dorian was right about you, and so was Todd.
Kevin: Well, believe whatever you want, really, especially about Todd. But I would say it's a big leap of faith to think that he's really changed.
Mrs. Bigelow: Why don't we just call it the "I Hate Kevin Buchanan" newspaper?
Todd: That's a little obvious.
Mrs. Bigelow: Oh, for "The Sun's" average reader, with the brain of a bird?
Todd: There are a lot of birdbrains out there registered to vote. They're not only going to keep Kevin out of office, they're going to run him out of town on a rail.
Mrs. Bigelow: What is your intended going to think about all this?
Todd: She's not going to know.
Lindsay: Well, hello to you, too.
Rex: Lindsay. I'm sorry, I thought you were somebody else.
Lindsay: Like who? Paul? Because I just want to know -- did you put him up to it?
Rex: Up to what?
Lindsay: He tried to steal the cash out of the cash box in my art gallery.
Rex: Oh, so that's what the little weasel was talking about.
Lindsay: He spoke to you about it?
Rex: Paul owes me some money. I thought he'd lost it at the track or something.
Rex: Lindsay, listen, I had nothing to do with it. What, you don't believe me?
Lindsay: I want to believe you.
Rex: I wouldn't lie to you.
Lindsay: You've lied to me before.
Rex: Not about this.
Lindsay: Then swear to me. Swear to me on the relationship that we once had. If it was real to you at all, swear.
Jen: What are you doing back here?
Paul: I need to see your mom.
Jen: She's not here. I told you not to come back here. Do you want me to call the cops and tell them what you did?
Paul: Well, Jen, I don't think you're going to do that.
Jen: Well, I haven't erased the security tape.
Paul: Oh, well, I have a little tape myself.
Paul: Let's take a look-see, shall we?
Paul: Wow! Did you do that one, Rex? No? Oh, well, no wonder he kept your mom around.
Jen: Turn it off!
Paul: Damn! I bet she never told you about that when she was talking about the birds and the bees, huh?
Rex: Lindsay, look at me. I swear to you, I had nothing to do with Paul Cramer trying to rip you off today. Now, do you believe me?
Lindsay: I want to believe you. I believe you about this.
Rex: Ok, and -- and what he had meant a lot to me.
Lindsay: So much so that you went running straight off to Shannon McBain.
Rex: Look, I'm sorry if I hurt you, ok? Because -- because you were great.
Lindsay: Oh, this is the part where you're going to tell me how great I was.
Rex: Well, you were.
Rex: Ok, and -- and you believed in me when I needed it the most. You know, I mean, you taught me so much about art and class and style, and I'm never going to forget that. Ok, I'm never going to forget you. And, you know, even if we're not together, I still care about you. And -- just stay away from Paul Cramer, ok? He makes me look like a good guy.
Jen: Where did you get this?
Paul: You know how much this is worth on the internet?
Jen: You wouldn't dare.
Paul: Oh, Jen, I'd dare just about anything right now. Because I've got nothing else to lose. But your mom -- well, she's got a lot to lose. Maybe like -- oh, I don't know -- what's left of her mind?
Jen: What do you want? Don't tell me it's my mom because you don't give a damn about her.
Paul: You're right, I don't, especially after seeing this. But I am willing to forget about this if you help R.J. Gannon forget about the debt that I owe him. My tab is 50,000.
Jen: What? How am I supposed to come up with cash like that?
Paul: I don't know, I don't care, but you better get creative or your mom is going to be Llanview's next big porn star.
Roxy: You know, don't worry about Rexy and Paul. You should be worried about Rexy checking out all the babes.
Shannon: Look, I know how to keep my guy happy.
Roxy: Yeah, me, too. You know, Nigey hasn't wiped that smile off of his face, because usually he looks like he's sucking lemons. That's a guy I wouldn't mind making smile because he could sure use one.
Antonio: Whiskey. Leave the bottle.
Roxy: Yo, Natty! She seems upset about something. I wonder what's brewing?
Natalie: Antonio, I tried to warn you.
Antonio: If Jessica wants to self-destruct, we can't stop her
Jessica: Oh, Tico, what are you doing?
Tico: I believe it's a custom in this country to carry the bride over the threshold?
Jessica: That's the front door of the house.
Tico: Oh, better late than never. Would you like some champagne?
Jessica: Sure, I'd love some.
Jessica: Thank you.
Tico: To my wife, my life, my partner in every way. I've waited so long for this. I don't want to wait a moment longer.
Adriana: Jessica didn't let Antonio or Natalie or anyone stop her from marrying Tico.
Duke: Takes a lot of guts.
Adriana: It's not easy.
Duke: But if it's what you want --
Adriana: Your father pays your tuition, Duke. You really want to risk giving that up?
Duke: For you, I'd give up just about anything.
Kevin: Ok, here's the check.
Dorian: I'd cash that as soon as possible if I were you.
Kevin: Oh, what, you think it's going to bounce? Come on.
Blair: He'll hold up his end of the deal and so will Todd.
Todd: Remember, if you breathe a word of this to Blair, I'm going to kill you.
Mrs. Bigelow: You're looking a little peaked. Now, I just happen to have another shot in here, hmm?
Todd: Keep away from me.
Mrs. Bigelow: Just how do you think you're going to keep something like this from your Mrs.-to-be?
Todd: I'll tell her when the time is right.
Mrs. Bigelow: And would that be when hell freezes over?
Todd: More like when Kevin is in his own private hell.
Natalie: So, let me guess -- you're just going to drink, get drunk, do nothing, and let Jessica ruin her life?
Antonio: No, no, I'm going to get proof that Tico is El Tiburon. I just hope it's not too late for Jessica.
Tico: I love you so much, Jessica. I want to show you how much. I want to make love to you.
>> On the next "one life to live" --
Evangeline: Are you telling me that you're ready for a relationship?
Dorian: Leave my daughter to me. I think you should concern yourself with your new wife.
Antonio: What Jessica and I had is over.
Viki: I can't believe you got married!
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