OLTL Transcript Wednesday 12/3/03

One Life to Live Transcript Wednesday 12/3/03

Provided by Eric
Proofread by Kathy

Viki: Go ahead. Light it.

Dorian: No. I'm -- I'm not ready. I'm not ready to die.

Viki: But, look, if you don't light the fuse, then that's exactly what might happen to us.

Dorian: How did I end up in here, trapped in a cave, buried in an avalanche under who knows how many tons of snow and rock with you?

Viki: Just lucky, I guess.

Dorian: No, I mean, if your brother Todd hadn't tricked Blair into marrying him, I wouldn't have been on that airplane.

Viki: Well, actually, it was your idea to stow away on the plane. But if you had for some reason managed to convince yourself not to interfere in their marriage, then you wouldn't have been on the plane.

Dorian: And then you would have been in here all alone.

Viki: Yeah. I'm glad I'm not alone. If you don't light the fuse, we're not going to get out of here.

Dorian: What if the explosion kills us?

Viki: Then we will have died trying.

Dorian: But then --

Viki: Then? What do you mean, "then"? You mean death? I don't know. Are you afraid? What do you think will happen when you die?

***********************************************

Blair: Oh, Dorian, dear. Dear Dorian. I get her jewelry I get her jewelry

Starr: I get her plasma TV!

Cassie: And all her hats.

River: The cars are mine. I get her cars. Okay, keys, keys, keys.

Kelly: I think I will take :a Boulaie. I think it suits me.

Paul: I'm new here. I'll just take the cash.

Paul: Thank you.

David: I'll just take all the mirrors and any items that will reflect my own image. Ah. Delicious foods.

Starr: Dorian's dead Dorian's dead I got her hats.

Joey: I believe that the cookies were spoken for, young man. Thank you.

Todd: Ah!

Blair: Well, and what are you going to take?

Todd: Oh, the witch is dead. That's enough for me.

[Todd laughs]

[All laugh]

***********************************************

Dorian: I know, it's insane.

Viki: Yes, it is, completely insane. If -- if for some reason you didn't make it, your family would never react that way. Dorian, don't you know that they love you? They would miss you terribly.

Dorian: Oh, I suppose Blair and Kelly would. Cassie, too.

Viki: Hey, especially Cassie.

Dorian: And River and Paul --

Viki: Mm-hmm.

Dorian: Perhaps even Carlotta.

Viki: Why Carlotta?

Dorian: Well, she was my housekeeper for so many years, you know.

Viki: Oh, of course she was. That's right.

Dorian: But who else?

Viki: You know what? I can think of several men whose lives you changed forever.

Dorian: Oh. The men.

***********************************************

R.J.: Dorian -- the days we spent on the lam were the best days of my life. I loved her.

David: Speaking as Mr. Dorian Cramer Lord Vickers. I've been with supermodels, flight attendants, a circus cont-- contor-- acrobat. But nothing compares to Dorian. No more sex! What's the point without her?

Joey: Dorian made me a man. Ruined me. But in a great way.

Bo: This may come as a shock to you gentlemen, but Dorian's the reason that I could put one foot in front of the other one. She never even knew that I loved her, but that didn't matter to me, because as long as I knew that she was out there, she was somewhere, that's all it took to make me happy.

R.J.: The dudes of Dorian.

David: We should publish a calendar. The men of Dorian!

All: The men of Dorian!

***********************************************

Dorian: All right! I'm ready. You light it.

Viki: I canít.

Dorian: Viki, come on! We've got to do it. We've got to do it now.

Viki: Please, Dorian, please not yet.

Viki: I -- I'm not ready to die, Dorian. I need to know that my children will be all right.

Dorian: Victoria's perfect children? What could possibly happen to them?

***********************************************

Jessica: Please, R.J. I'll show up in time to open.

R.J.: Come on, I have heard that before.

Jessica: Oh, no. No, no, no, no, I -- but I mean it this time, I mean it this time. I just -- I need the extra shifts to pay my --

R.J.: Girl, it is not my problem that your sister has gambled away all of your money on stupid sports bets.

Jessica: But she's a pool-playing champion. I mean, just recently she's had a little trouble focusing.

R.J.: You mean she's a lush.

Natalie: To Cristian.

***********************************************

Dorian: Oh, Viki, I had no idea you had insecurities like that.

Viki: Well, I do. I mean, there's no point in pretending, right?

Dorian: And I appreciate your openness. Now light the fuse.

Viki: No.

Dorian: Why? What now?

Viki: It's Joey.

Dorian: Ugh. I really wish you would stop calling him Joey, okay? His name is Joe. He's a man. He's a minister, for God's sake. Look, I'm sorry. Listen -- Joe -- Joey -- he's going to be just fine.

***********************************************

Joey: In the words of the seventh commandment, Thou shalt not --

[Car honks]

[Rock 'n' roll plays]

Jen: Got to go. Rex is waiting.

[Car honks]

Joey: Um -- where was I?

Marcie: Thou shalt not --

joy: Oh, yeah. Thou shalt not commit adultery!

Renee: Excuse me. Joey --

Joey: Renee, I'm kind of in the middle of a sermon here.

Renee: Not anymore. As the chairwoman of the vestry --

Marcie: Yes, you do such a great job.

Renee: Oh, well, thank you. You've been relieved of your duties here at St. James.

Joey: What? Why?

Renee: As you so eloquently put it and as a former madam, I certainly concur, "Thou shalt not commit adultery," and your wife --

Joey: Well, she's -- she's just misunderstood.

Renee: By you, apparently. Right now she's out in the back seat with Rex Balsom.

[Music stops]

Marcie: Don't believe her. No, Jen would never do that. She loves -- she loves Joe.

Renee: No, she doesnít. I'm sorry. You have to leave!

Marcie: This is wrong.

Renee: No --

Marcie: This is wrong! Joe is the best priest I have ever known. I mean, even if his wife is a little loose, it doesn't mean that we shouldn't give him the benefit of the doubt.

All: Boo!

Woman: Hiss, hiss, hiss!

Marcie: I'm sorry.

Joey: Thank you. I appreciate it.

Marcie: Oh, yeah.

Joey: More than you know. I love you, Marcie.

Marcie: Oh, no.

Joey: Yes, yes, with all my heart.

Marcie: Oh, no, no, no, no! Don't give me your heart. I'll just break it, just like Kelly and Jen did. Yes.

Joey: Marcie, you would never do that.

Marcie: Yes, I could. I love Al, and I'll never love anyone but him. You need to go back to Jen, Joe. Maybe this time she won't break your heart.

***********************************************

Dorian: Do you think that Jen reminds Joe of me?

Viki: Of you?

Dorian: Yes. The smoldering sexuality, the free spirit.

Viki: "Free spirit"? Is that a euphemism?

Dorian: Oh, goody! The gloves are going to come off.

Viki: Forget I said it.

Dorian: Joe is a very complicated man, really. And even if you do manage to climb out of here alive, there's no way you can save his marriage for him. He's a grown man, Viki.

Viki: This from the woman whose career is interfering? Look at Kelly and Blair and Cassie.

Dorian: That's different.

Viki: No, it is not different. However, you are right, because Joey chose Jen, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.

Dorian: Fine. So light the match. What? What?

Viki: No.

Dorian: You're not ready?

Viki: No.

Dorian: What is it? There. Kevin? Kevin? Oh, no. I don't want to hear this one.

***********************************************

Asa: Congratulations, Senator Buchanan.

Kevin: Well, you made it happen.

Asa: It cost me millions, but worth every dime. You know, Kevin, in the good old days, all you had to do to get a vote was buy a cowboy a drink and put his X next to any name that you mentioned.

Kevin: As long as nobody finds out.

Asa: Well, remember what I told you. Those were the good old days.

Kelly: Oh, honey, this is everything I've wanted. Oh. What are you doing?

Kevin: Now that the election's over, so is our marriage.

Kelly: But -- but this is our dream. Blair? What are you doing here?

Kevin: Now that she knows that Walker is really Todd --

Blair: I hate him.

Kevin: We're finally free to be together.

Asa: Kevin, she's going to try and kill you like she tried to kill me.

Blair: Well, now that Viki and Dorian are really dead, no one is going to mess with us.

***********************************************

Dorian: Is that what you really think will happen if you die?

Viki: No. No.

Dorian: But it could. Forget it. It's not worth the risk of dying if we blow ourselves to bits here. No, there are people looking for us, search parties, and they will find us. We're just going to wait here until they do.

[Stones rumble]

Dorian: Oh! Oh! Oh! Viki!

Dorian: Does it feel like the cave is getting smaller?

Viki: No, no.

Dorian: Aren't you hungry?

Viki: I'm starving, Dorian. I'm starving, but you know what? We have to revert to Plan A. We have to blow this place up, okay?

Dorian: Oh, sure. Now that you've unburdened yourself to me, you think now you just want to go ahead and blow it to bits because you're feeling just dandy, aren't you?

Viki: Dorian, you were going to light the fuse.

Dorian: Yes, but that was before you scared me half to death about what would happen if we died. I mean, I can't have Kevin destroying Kelly and then running off with Blair.

Viki: But how could you stop it?

Dorian: I don't know, but certainly blowing ourselves to bits isn't one way. I mean, really. What would happen to my girls?

***********************************************

David: Ugh! My goodness, you're pregnant!

Kelly: Ow! Ow!

David: I mean, you're getting as big as my ego. Ugh! I am so glad that Dorian is not here to see this. She would have never let you get pregnant, even if it meant going to bed with both of us to make sure.

Kelly: I know. Remember, she was running around, going "thrombophilia, thrombophilia."

David: I must have blocked that out. Oh.

Kelly: You know, I don't even care if I die.

David: What?

Kelly: Yeah. You know, if I can hatch this egg and it doesn't kill me, I will be happy. Really, I don't care if I die. I mean, so -- oh!

David: What? What?

Kelly: Oh! The baby's coming!

David: Now?

Kelly: Oh, God, I don't want to die! I don't want to die! I don't want to die!

David: Relax -- relax! I want you to breathe in, and out, in. Now, I want you to concentrate. I'm going to ask you something very important. Is your will in order?

[Kelly screams]

Woman: Poor baby. All alone with a newborn to raise.

Second woman: Diapers, late-night feedings --

First woman: Some assembly required.

Second woman: How will you do it?

David: Who cares? I have a beautiful new home, my estate, La Loulaie.

Woman: What's a boulaie?

David: It's some kind of skinny white tree. But now that it's mine, all mine; I think I'll rename it. What do you think of Chateau Von Vickers?

***********************************************

Viki: Oh, no, don't worry, Dorian. Kelly has far too much self-respect to be duped by David Vickers.

Dorian: I was duped by David.

Viki: Yeah, but, I mean, you gave as good as you got.

Dorian: Hmm.

Viki: I have to tell you something; I have always admired you for the way you took in Blair and Kelly. Thanks to you, they have become wonderful and very strong women.

Dorian: Oh, I wish I could believe that.

Viki: Well, you should. And I suspect you're going to do exactly the same for those boys -- for River and Paul.

Dorian: Oh, yes, but I just got hold of them. I mean, what if they go on to make the wrong choices in girls?

***********************************************

[Rock 'n' Roll plays]

Paul: I don't get what Dorian has against your family. The way you kiss -- I can't even imagine making love with you.

Jessica: You're not going to have to imagine. You're going to find out.

Natalie: You're so young. You sure you want to do this?

River: Oh, well, then, Dorian dated Joe for a long time, right, and she's way older than he is.

Natalie: I know.

River: Oh, if it's good enough for Granny, it's good enough for me.

***********************************************

Viki: I cannot believe you! They would be lucky to get Jessica and Natalie. Although frankly, it's not going to happen. It's impossible.

Dorian: Why? Do you think your girls are too good for my boys?

Viki: I just said it's impossible.

Dorian: Nothing is impossible. If you don't believe that the worst can happen --

Viki: I know it can. We're stuck here together, aren't we?

Dorian: Okay, speaking of the worst, what if Blair never finds out that Walker is your slimy brother Todd? What if she goes through the rest of her life not knowing who she's married to?

Viki: I mean, you're obsessed with Todd.

Dorian: Can you blame me?

Viki: He's going to tell Blair. He has to do it in his own time.

Dorian: Oh, yeah, and we both know when that will be.

***********************************************

Blair: Well, it is official. As of today, Walker is your legal daddy, kids.

Starr: Can I have the pen?

Blair: You sure can.

Todd: Ready, kids?

Starr: Are we ever.

Blair: Wait. Where you guys going?

Todd: I'm leaving you, Blair, and I'm taking the kids with me.

Blair: What are you talking about, Walker?

Todd: I'm not Walker, I'm Todd, and you've just given me legal custody of our kids. Take a look at that face, children. It's the last time you'll ever see it.

Blair: Starr -- no, Starr.

Starr: Sorry, Mom. We love Dad more than we love you.

Todd: Say bye-bye, Jack.

Jack: Bye-bye, Jack.

Todd: Ah.

Blair: No!

***********************************************

Viki: Todd would never, never do that.

Dorian: Are you kidding? Todd sold his own child.

Viki: Well, he thought it was Max Holden's.

Dorian: What do you think is going to happen when Blair finds out? Really, really, really, I want to know what Pollyanna Davidson imagines the happy ending will be.

***********************************************

All: Surprise!

Blair: I don't understand. What's going on?

Todd: This is my family -- nephews, nieces.

All: Surprise!

Todd: Starr and Jack's cousins.

Blair: No, it's not.

Todd: Blair, I'm Todd.

All: Surprise!

Blair: No. It can't be.

Todd: It's me, Todd. I came back -- for you.

Blair: Oh! I never thought I would see you again. Oh. Thank you, thank you so much! It's my dream come true!

***********************************************

Dorian: Is that what you really think will happen? Or is that what you hope? If you ask me --

Viki: I didn't. It's what I hope.

Dorian: Let's take it a step further, shall we?

***********************************************

[Gunshot]

Blair: I knew you'd come.

Bo: Blair Laurence, Blair Manning -- Cramer -- whatever -- you're under arrest for the murder of Walker Laurence, A.K.A. Todd Manning. I'm sorry, Blair, but you're going to be locked up in prison for the rest of your life.

***********************************************

Viki: You're right. Things could go so badly.

Dorian: So what are we going to do about it?

Viki: Well, if we survive, Dorian, we have to let it go.

Dorian: What?

Viki: Dorian, even if we get out of this, we're not going to be around forever, are we? We have to trust our children to, you know, make their own decisions and live with the consequences on their own, okay? Ready?

Dorian: Okay. W-- wait. Viki, what if one of us lives and the other one dies?

Viki: What now?

Dorian: I just don't think that I could bear to go to your funeral.

Viki: Why not?

Dorian: I couldn't stand all the weeping and wailing.

***********************************************

[Singer sings "Ave Maria"]

Joey: The Episcopal Church doesn't canonize saints. But if they did, there would be a new saint in the firmament tonight. St. Viki!

All: St. Viki!

[Sobbing]

Joey: She was an example to us all.

Marcie: Victoria Lord Davidson was my inspiration. She was -- I'm sorry. She was totally awesome, and it wasn't just because she was the president of Llanview University. And it wasn't because she stood for freedom and truth. She was the best woman in the whole wide world. And she knew how to lead. She inspired millions, and she believed in our nation's ideals and the goodness of people. She believed in the goodness of people and in family. She will be sorely missed. She's in a better place now that she richly deserves.

Asa: Rest in peace.

Starr: Aunt Viki, why did you have to die? I wish Aunt Dorian died instead of you!

Blair: It's all right, it's all right, Starr. We all loved -- we all loved Viki more than Dorian.

***********************************************

Dorian: Well, I'd rather be dead than think about that. Give me the matches.

Viki: You know, I don't get you, Dorian. This could be the very last day of your life, and you're still jealous of me?

Dorian: Look, just light the damn thing and let's get it over with.

Viki: No, no, I'm not going to let you die like that. What do you want?

Dorian: What I want you couldn't possibly give me.

Viki: Okay, well, what is it?

Dorian: I don't want to resent or envy you anymore.

Viki: Why would you resent me or envy me? Is it for just what I have or who I am?

Dorian: It's for who everybody thinks you are.

Viki: Huh. Well, you know better now, don't you? So what's the problem? Dorian, I've told you all my fears. They're no different from yours. Take a good look at my life. My husband, my Ben, is in a coma from which I've been told he will never, ever recover. My sons are not very happy. My daughters have been through hell. What could you resent or envy?

Viki: You want to have a good laugh?

Dorian: Yeah. Sure, a laugh would be nice.

Viki: I want things. I'm just as selfish and shallow as anyone.

***********************************************

[Cheers]

[Patriotic music]

Renee: Asa, now you must be very, very, very, very proud!

Asa: That boy did not ask me to buy one vote. He did it all by himself.

Kevin: Thank you for electing me president of the United States of America.

[Cheers]

[Fanfare]

Joey: Thank you for making me Bishop of Pennsylvania. I would also like to thank my wife of 10 years, Marcie, and our two beautiful children. God bless you all.

Rae: To the incomparable Jessica Buchanan, editor of "The Banner," publisher of 10 newspapers nationwide, Woman of the Year.

[Cheers]

Roxy: Way to go, Jessie baby! Whoo-hoo!

Marcie: I just finished your book, "Blondie and the Bartender." It's the most beautiful story I've ever read in my life. It's no wonder it's on the number one bestseller's list.

Natalie: The work is all that matters to me.

Marcie: Oh, well, I mean, where did this all come from?

Natalie: It was my mother's story.

[Music plays]

Marcie: Oh, this is the song that is from the book.

Natalie: Yes. Blondie and Ben. This was their song. It was their dance.

***********************************************

Viki: Funny, huh?

Dorian: You miss Ben? I miss Mel, too.

Dorian: I thought you were always happy no matter what your children did.

Viki: I want their dreams to come true.

Dorian: Why torture yourself, Viki? Everybody worships and adores you. I sometimes think I'm the only person on earth who doesnít.

Viki: I sincerely doubt that you are the only person. Oh, Dorian, people love you. Don't you know that?

Dorian: Oh -- ah. Maybe, after I'm gone.

***********************************************

Bo: Please stay in a single-file line, everyone. You'll all have a chance to get in.

[Cassie sobs]

Cassie: It's like it just happened!

Bo: I know. I know.

[Cassie wails]

Rae: You were a hell of a woman, Dorian.

Jen: Joe told me you liked chocolates. I didn't know you very well, but he says we were a lot alike.

Roxy: You were a dame, a legend, but you should have let me get my fingers in your hair.

David: I never told you, but I think you knew.

[R.J. sobs]

David: It's okay.

Blair: It's been five years, and so many people miss Dorian so much.

Kelly: I know I still do.

Starr: It hasn't been the same ever since Aunt Dorian died. I haven't grown an inch in five years.

Bo: Single-file line, please. Stay in a single-file line. I had to hire extra crowd control. The line wraps all the way around the block and goes all the way out to Angel Square.

Starr: Dorian Square you mean.

Bo: My mistake. Dorian Square. Well, we're all set for the candlelight vigil. Will you be there, Blair?

Blair: To watch them replace the old Luna statue with the new Dorian one?

Blair, Kelly, and Starr: You bet.

***********************************************

Viki: Don't you want your family to be happy and healthy and think well of you when you're gone? Dorian, don't you really want Blair to be happy, and Kelly, even if it means keeping Walker's secret and possibly learning to like Kevin?

Dorian: Oh-ho-ho-ho. Over the top -- "like Kevin"?

Viki: It might be the only way you will ever find any peace.

***********************************************

All: Oh!

Todd: Yeah, very nice!

Blair: That was perfect.

Kelly: Gosh, you know, before Dorian died, none of this dinner would have ever been possible. You know, there were so many secrets and lies among the four of us. But she would have wanted us to be a family, and now we are!

Kevin: Yeah, that's right.

Blair: All right! To Dorian. No matter what you guys thought of her, she made Kelly and I the women we are today.

Kevin: To Dorian.

Todd: To Dorian.

***********************************************

Viki: I hope that particular wish comes true.

Dorian: So what about you? What's going to give you peace enough to light that match?

***********************************************

Jessica: Have you decided on a name yet?

Natalie: Victoria. Her name is Victoria.

***********************************************

Dorian: So, basically, you want immortality?

Viki: No. No. I want some kind of proof that we were here, that we made a difference to the people that we love. I'd like to know that our lives counted for something.

***********************************************

River: Say hello to your family, baby Dorian.

All: Oh.

***********************************************

Dorian: I always thought we were such polar opposites. And some day, if we do survive, I may deny I ever said this, but perhaps we're not so different after all.

Viki: I won't tell if you don't.

Dorian: Deal.

Viki: I hope you make it.

Dorian: Hope you do, too.

***********************************************

>> On the next "One Life to Live" --

John: Jen Buchananís the one holding all the details, and believe me, she's going to talk.

Jen: So why'd you back up my story?

Blair: Why are you so suspicious of Kevin, anyway? You're the one who had the affair.

Kevin: What is that?

Todd: It was an explosion. Viki! Viki!

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