One Life to Live Transcript Wednesday 8/27/03

By Suzanne
Proofread by Melissa Dann

[music plays]

R.J.: Rex, just what is a "Search and Destroy" night, and why is my club --

Rex: Uh -- ours.

R.J: The club holding something that sounds like a war game?

Rex: It's a singing contest. Search for the talented, destroy the talentless. You know, if you paid attention to the world, you'd know that these competitions were huge.

R.J.: Well, if you'd paid attention to world events, you'd have some reservations about calling anything something that sounds like a war game.

Rex: Look, Wally, it's what you and the Beave would have called an amateur night, OK?

R.J.: "Amateur" -- well, that is you all over. What about this "destroy" part?

Rex: Oh, the audience scorches anybody that they don't like. You'd be great.

R.J.: R.J. Gannon does not sing.

Rex: No, no, no, no. No, as a judge, R.J. Instead of the audience, we could have a judge -- you.

R.J.: Tempting. Pass.

************************************************************************

Kelly: So, word on the street is that you're a pool shark.

Natalie: Hmm -- "word on the street"?

Kelly: Mm-hmm. Well, actually, what I heard was that you outsharked a shark.

Roxy: Oh, it was a slam dunk. She wiped the floor with him.

Kelly: Oh.

Natalie: Not exactly.

Roxy: Ooh, what is this talent search? Is this for me or what?

Natalie: What.

Roxy: What?

Natalie: Roxy, I think Rex is looking for a little more of a hip crowd.

Roxy: Oh, really? Well, who's hipper than me? I put the hip in hop. How do you think Rexy got to be so hip?

Natalie: You washed your hands of him when he was 5 years old, or do you not remember that?

Roxy: Honey, that's just revitalized history. I知 cool, aren't I? Right?

Kelly: Yeah.

River: Yeah, yeah.

Kelly: Cool doesn't even begin to cover it.

[Roxy laughs]

Roxy: All right!

Kelly: She is something else.

Natalie: Oh, yeah. You and Kevin just stick around in Llanview, and I can tell you so many stories.

Kelly: Ooh. Wow. Well, I am definitely looking forward to you and I getting to know each other better.

Natalie: Yeah, me, too. You know, actually, I知 -- I知 really glad that you and Kevin are going to be staying in town because I really -- I barely know him.

Kelly: Oh. Well, don't feel bad. I致e known him since I was a teenager, I致e been married to him for over two years now, and sometimes I feel the same way.

************************************************************************

Kevin: Elyssa, stay in Atlantic City until you find the real Walker Laurence, but make it soon, all right? I got to talk to you, Grandpa. I got to go.

Asa: What's wrong?

Kevin: You know William Davis Dawes?

Asa: That jackal.

Kevin: Yeah.

Asa: I used to call him "Willie the Wimp." He hated it. What does he want?

Kevin: Well, he gave me some friendly political advice.

Asa: Mm-hmm. "Keep out of the corridors of power," right? He sure as hell doesn't like the idea of a new lieutenant governor.

Kevin: Yeah, I just thought I壇 let you know he's on the case.

Asa: To hell with Dawes. Someday, I壇 like to make a pair of rattlesnake boots out of his damn hide.

Kevin: Well, call me. I'll help.

Asa: Forget about that. You and Kelly keep going the way you're headed, and no more thoughts about Dawes.

[Phone rings]

Kevin: Excuse me. I got to take this.

Asa: You threaten my family? You think again, Dawes.

************************************************************************

Joey: Jen? You here?

Jen: Hi, Maddie.

Maddie: Jen, how are you?

[Girl gasps]

Girl: Oh, let's see the ring.

Maddie: It's great to marry a man of the cloth who hasn't taken a vow of celibacy or poverty.

Girl: Sexy, rich, and pretty much bound to be faithful.

Maddie: Tell us about him.

Jen: I'll make you a deal. I will tell you all about Joe if you'll tell me all about what you did to Marcie Walsh.

Maddie: What about it?

Jen: I heard it was hilarious.

Marcie: Are you sure it's recording? I don't want Jen to go through this for nothing.

Al: The equipment's running fine. It's up to Jen now.

Maddie: I mean it. Who told you?

Jen: Word gets around. It's a small campus. So I heard you guys made her do everything except for eat from a trough. Is that true?

Maddie: Wait a second. Why would you even think this is funny? I thought you and Walsh were friends.

Jen: What, you bought that? Wow, I知 better than I thought.

Maddie: Come clean, Rappaport.

Jen: I知 squeaky clean. Marcie Walsh is everything you'd want in a lap dog.

Maddie: A lap dog?

Jen: And errand girl. She's totally trusting, completely naive, and so eager to please.

Al: Sweetie, she's got to say stuff like that.

Marcie: No, no, it's not that. It's just that these girls are maniacs. And if they find out that Jen is playing them, they will kill her.

Al: She's going to be fine.

Marcie: Besides, I am socially inept and hopelessly naive and -- I don't know -- whatever else she was saying.

Al: You're honest, and you don't have a mean bone in your body, and it bothers these people, so they make fun of you. Listen to me -- if tomorrow every one of those girls just disappeared off the face of the earth, the only thing that people would notice is that there was a little more air and a whole lot less chatter.

Marcie: Yeah, but I take up so much more space.

Al: Baby, is that what you think?

Marcie: Yeah, most days.

Al: I hate these people, Marcie. I hate them, I swear. It makes me -- it makes me sick to think about what they did to you.

Marcie: I知 sorry.

Al: You're sorry? Why are you apologizing? Marcie, I love you. And if there is anything in the world that I can do to make you feel better, then just let me know and I'll do it, OK? Because that right now is all I care about in life.

Marcie: I just wish I knew why.

Al: Why what?

Marcie: Why you --

Al: Feel the way I do about you?

Marcie: Yeah.

Al: I love you. You're wonderful. You're sweet, and you're smart. You're funny, and you've got to be the bravest person I致e ever met in my entire life.

Marcie: No.

Al: Hey, don't forget, if it wasn't for you, I壇 probably be dead. So the next time that you need to be reminded why it is I love you so much, just give me a sign and I'll do anything -- anything at all to show it to you, OK? Believe me.

Marcie: Yeah. I think I do.

Jen: You cannot imagine how pathetic it was. She worshiped me. She'd do anything for me. Write my term paper, pick up my dry-cleaning, make me coffee.

Maddie: Sounds like we might have been a little too hasty. Maybe Walsh had her uses after all.

Girl: Yeah, gofer.

Jen: No, no, you guys did the absolute right thing. I mean, that stupid cow needed someone to shut her up. All that talk about peace and nonviolence -- too bad you didn't ship her off to Iraq.

[Girls laugh]

Jen: No, listen, Madison, I know that I致e blown you off a couple times.

Maddie: Our sorority's reached out to you several times. How's that sweatshirt, by the way?

Jen: A perfect fit, thank you. I guess one of the main reasons why I didn't think S.D.D. was a place for me was -- well, let's just say that all that changed when I saw you take a tough stand with someone like Marcie Walsh. Now I知 reconsidering. Meanwhile, I want to hear everything that happened with Marcie.

Maddie: You should have been there.

************************************************************************

Roxy: First prize in the "Search and Destroy" is 1,000 bucks, and I got this idea for a duet.

River: What, with me?

Roxy: Yeah, why not?

River: I would love to do that, except I can't sing.

Roxy: Oh, hey, it's overrated. Anybody can sing.

River: Yeah, except me. And, besides, you got to be 21 to get into the Ultra Violet, right?

Roxy: Oh, yeah, that's right, you're jailbait. OK, I'll catch you in a couple of years. Thanks anyway, honey.

River: Yeah.

Roxy: It's OK.

River: Sorry.

Roxy: You know, maybe I'll just have to come up with a solo number. Things are a lot better with a partner. I mean, everything is. Maybe. Man, I need a man.

************************************************************************

Renee: Nigel, are you in there?

Nigel: Sadly, yes. They also serve who only stand and wait and wait and wait and --

Renee: Oh, I get the picture.

Nigel: It's all I seem to do these days. One meeting after the other with the power broker.

Renee: And that's all?

Nigel: "All"?

Renee: You're just bored? You're not feeling a little sad?

Nigel: Now you say it, I have been rather beset by melancholia, though I can't for the life of me think why.

Renee: You're Missing Roxy.

Nigel: I beg your pardon?

************************************************************************

Asa: You two should know better than that. Do you think Buchanan Records would ever sign on a producer without outstanding credibility?

Flash: Do you really -- so you really think he can move us up on the charts?

Asa: Yes. And he's even talking about a video.

Flash: A video?

Riley: That's awesome.

Flash: My God, that's awesome! All right, Grandpa, we're going to make you really proud, I promise.

Asa: I知 already proud. You two make me rich.

Flash: You're already rich.

Asa: Then there's no pressure on you two, is there? Run along.

Flash: Right, right. See you later.

Daniel: I need to have a few words with you.

Riley: Not now. I got someplace to be --

Daniel: Don't you walk away from me when I知 speaking to you.

[Music plays]

************************************************************************

Rex: Look, what do you care what I do as long as I keep showing a profit? I mean, hell, my record speaks for itself.

R.J.: One good cut does not a record make, punk.

Rex: See, that's why you need to stick around and help be one of our judges -- help crush people's dreams into dust.

R.J.: You go ahead and have fun with your entertainment. I have plans with Ms. Evangeline Williamson.

Rex: Nice.

R.J.: Right. So you go ahead and play star maker/breaker. But maybe someday, if you have a beautiful woman whom you're crazy about and who's crazy about you, you'll be spending your time differently.

************************************************************************

[Doorbell rings]

Jen: Hey, you guys.

Marcie: Hi.

Jen: Come in. Hey, wait. Before we say anything, I want to tell you I知 sorry for anything that I said. I had to, you know, so --

Marcie: It's OK, Jen. It's OK. I knew that to begin with. I didn't listen to most of it, anyway.

Jen: Good.

Al: We got the whole thing. The tape's down at the dean's office right now.

Marcie: Are you OK?

Jen: Me?

Marcie: Yeah.

Jen: Yeah, I知 fine, I知 fine.

Al: You know, the dean didn't say what the penalty for hazing was. Does anybody know?

Marcie: Hmm.

Joey: Hey, Jen.

Jen: Hey!

Joey: When did you get here?

Jen: Just now. I didn't know you were here. Where's the van?

Joey: Out back. Hi, guys.

Marcie: Hi.

Al: Hey.

Joey: So, where have you been?

Jen: Um -- just helping. Helping Al and Marcie with stuff at the student union. We're moving in today.

Marcie: In here? Oh, my God, that's great.

Al: Yeah, you know, I know how much this place means to you, Jen. So you want some help, man?

Joey: Thought you would never ask.

Al: Right on.

Marcie: Fine. See you in a couple.

Jen: Look, I don't really want Joe to know about what we were doing today. I知 just afraid that he's not going to agree with, you know, all this undercover stuff.

Marcie: Oh -- oh, Jen, I didn't mean to put you in a bad position --

Jen: No, it's OK, it's OK. I wanted to do this for my best friend, OK, so don't second-guess any of this.

Marcie: OK. I think it's great that you and Joe are going to be living in your dad's house. I think you'll be really happy here.

Jen: Yeah, I think we will be.

Marcie: I can't believe that Rex didn't fight you for it. Don't tell me he has a conscience after all.

Jen: Oh, yeah.

Marcie: What?

Jen: Nothing.

Marcie: What did you have to give up to get this place? Come on, you had to give up something.

Jen: No. OK -- yeah, yeah, I had to give Rex something in exchange for the house.

Marcie: Like what? Did you rob a bank?

Jen: No, nothing illegal. Just a little teeny little striptease.

Marcie: What?

************************************************************************

Riley: Dad, do not do this here, please.

Daniel: And now it's "please"? No, no, you screwed up, pal. You dropped out of school. You O.D.'d on drugs. Now, how the hell does that make me look?

Riley: Dad, you are drunk.

Daniel: The hell I am. And you damn well better show me some respect.

Flash: Why should he?

Riley: Look, stay out it.

Daniel: This -- this is not about you, young lady. Damn it, Riley, everything -- every time I think you can't disappoint me anymore, you manage to do something to prove me wrong.

Kevin: Is there a problem, Daniel?

Daniel: No. Not at all. My son and I were just having a little chat. Isn't that right, Riley?

Kevin: You OK?

Flash: Yeah. I got to go.

Kevin: You're drunk, Daniel.

Daniel: Two drinks? Hardly.

Kevin: Well, if that's what two drinks does to you, you better stick to club soda.

Daniel: Look, I -- just having one of those family disagreements, that's all.

Kevin: Look, if you want Buchanan support, I need to know this isn't going to be a problem.

Daniel: It's not. It's not going to be a problem.

Kevin: Go home. Go home now.

Asa: What was that all about?

Kevin: Could be we have a problem with Colson. We'll deal with it later. Listen, right now I知 more concerned with Dawes is going to make good on his threat. I don't want to step in to lieutenant governor in December just to run into a roadblock.

Asa: I was thinking about that. I think Dawes is right.

Kevin: What?

Asa: About our post election plan. We're scrapping it, Kevin. It's like this dark cloud hanging over my head.

Natalie: I知 not going to be playing pool forever, you know. I can't wait, because when Cristian and I get married, we're going to start a family.

Kelly: Oh, good. So, how many kids do you want?

Natalie: Oh, 20, 30.

[Kelly chuckles]

Kelly: Well, that'll make Asa very happy.

Natalie: Oh, no, no, no, no. You're the only one who can do that. At least that's what I hear.

Kelly: Oh, stop it. I don't even know why.

Natalie: Well, if you can, more power to you. You're done.

Kelly: Oh, great. Great job. Thank you. Here, can you reach my money in there for me?

Natalie: Not a problem.

Kelly: Thanks. Oh, no, no, no. You keep the change.

Natalie: Oh. Wow -- thank you. Thank you. This -- this will go straight to the Vega/Buchanan honeymoon fund.

Kelly: Great. Look, I知 not saying that marriage isn't great, but there is nothing like the honeymoon. So, one sister-in-law to the other, make it as great as you can, OK? Oh, and look -- here comes the groom-to-be. Hi, Cris.

Cristian: Hey.

Kelly: Bye, Cris. I got to go. Bye.

Cristian: OK.

Natalie: Bye.

Cristian: See you. What's that?

Natalie: Sisterly contribution. It's not charity, actually. It was a tip.

Cristian: Hmm.

Natalie: What's the matter? You look beat.

Cristian: Long shift at the hospital. And you?

[Music plays]

Natalie: Oh, every day around here is a long shift. Oh. I wonder what we're going to be like when we're old.

Cristian: I知 just glad we're not doing Crossroads tonight. And this is definitely not what I need. Come on, let's go.

Natalie: Where?

Cristian: I知 taking you out tonight -- unless you're too tired.

Natalie: Oh, you are on. Where are we going?

Cristian: I don't know. You want to check out what's going on at the Ultra Violet?

[Natalie laughs]

Cristian: What?

Natalie: You're looking at it.

************************************************************************

Nigel: Really -- I don't know what could make you think that I was pining for Miss Roxanne.

Renee: Nigel, I saw the look on your face the last time we talked about Roxy. Ever hear of "opposites attract"?

Nigel: That's nothing but an absurd myth.

Renee: Unless, of course, it's not. And in the case of you and Miss Roxanne, I happen to think that that's the truth - - hypnosis or no hypnosis.

Nigel: Even if you were right -- which you're not -- that Miss Roxanne's bizarre eccentricities appeal to me -- which they don't -- I mean, what would be the point in pursuing it? She can't abide me.

Renee: I知 not so sure about that. And there's certainly a simple enough way to find out.

Nigel: And that would be?

Renee: Go by her place, ask her to -- tea. Ask her to tea.

Nigel: Oh, that's preposterous, though I suppose she --

Renee: Nigel, stop supposing. Go for it.

Nigel: Now? What about Mr. Buchanan? I can't leave him here.

Renee: Darling, I will take care of Mr. Buchanan. He has to stay on my good side -- until after the wedding.

[Nigel groans]

************************************************************************

Kevin: I can't believe you backed down from Dawes. What happened to everything we've been working on the past year?

Asa: Just calm down, Kevin. I never backed down a threat in my life. Little too late to start now.

Kevin: Well, I'll tell you what -- I wish you'd let me in on the joke, Asa.

Asa: Look, these people don't seem to want you to take office in December. Just think how they're going to feel when you're sworn in next week.

************************************************************************

Flash: Riley -- Riley, wait, please.

Riley: I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to think about my drunk father shoving me around anymore.

Flash: So he's the one that should feel lousy about it, not you. Has it always been this way with him?

Riley: Since I致e lived with him.

Flash: You didn't always?

Riley: He made my mother's life a living hell. So when I was 6, she took off with me.

Flash: I thought you grew up with him.

Riley: I did. He sued her for custody. He made her look like the unfit parent.

Flash: Was she?

Riley: No. He didn't even want me. He just didn't want her to have me. He didn't want her to have any peace at all.

Flash: Sounds like he doesn't want you to, either.

Riley: He -- he always makes me feel like I知 not anything he wanted me to be, that I知 not enough of anything.

Flash: He doesn't mean that. You know he doesn't mean that.

Riley: You heard him! I don't have six college degrees. I知 a low-rent musician who was dumb enough to O.D. on drugs one time.

Flash: So, what? What, does that make you nothing? And this -- this dad of yours, right? He can do, what? He -- he can practice law. Well, that's the fastest way to an ulcer. And he can spend all his time and all his energy to take his son away from his mother and then make him feel like garbage -- that's great. And so what, hmm? He can get wasted without a fake I.D. That just makes him great.

Riley: Keep talking. I like this.

Flash: Riley -- look at the way that you write a song. I mean, you hold a guitar like you were born to play one. And you're so cool. You're one of the coolest people that I know. And if your father knew what a great person you were, he'd be the proudest man around. You know what I think the problem is? I think that he just doesn't know. But I do. I do.

************************************************************************

[Music plays]

Rex: Ultra Violet.

Roxy: Hi. Is this my gorgeous son?

Rex: Mom, hey. Listen, I can't talk right now. I知 busy setting up.

Roxy: Yeah, for "Search and Destroy."

Rex: How do you know about that?

Roxy: What do you think, I live under a frock? There are flyers everywhere, including this place.

Rex: Right, right, yeah. Stupid me. OK, you know what? Listen, you don't want to come here. You'll be bored to death.

Roxy: How could I be bored? I壇 be on stage.

Rex: No, no, no, no. No, no. No, no, you don't want to do that. We're totally booked on talent. Sorry.

Roxy: You know, I was thinking, maybe you want to do a duet with me? You know, like when you were a little kid, remember?

Rex: First off, no, I don't remember, and, second, no, I don't want to. I run the place. Remember?

Roxy: You want me to talent search somebody else?

Rex: That's what I知 afraid of.

Roxy: Huh?

Rex: I got to go. OK? All right. Whew.

************************************************************************

Jen: There's just one thing that Rex said that I just can't get out of my head.

Marcie: What?

Jen: He said that when it was all over with, that I enjoyed it.

Marcie: What, stripping for him?

Jen: Yeah, he just said that I was wild and that I need a constant rush in my life to make me happy and that Joe's never going to make me happy.

Marcie: Well, do you think any of that is true?

Jen: No! I mean, I want to be with Joe. I don't want to be with anybody else.

Marcie: Well, then, don't even think about what Rex said. He's just bitter because you picked Joe over him. That's all.

Jen: Listen, please don't tell anybody, OK?

Marcie: I would never. I wouldn't. Gosh, I love it when fellas do big, manly stuff.

Joey: Good thing you were here.

[Marcie giggles]

Al: Yeah, well, I never shy away from an opportunity to look studly.

[Joey laughs]

Al: Come on, baby. Let's go.

Marcie: OK. See you later?

Jen: See you.

Joey: Goodbye, Al. Thanks again.

Al: Yeah. Hey, listen, guys, we're going to Ultra Violet tonight. We were wondering maybe you want to come along?

Joey: Ahem. Um --

[door closes]

Joey: Don't forget this. It fell out of the gardening basket. I wasn't snooping or anything. Just -- not that you'd need to hide this or anything from me. So, is something bothering you?

Jen: Yeah -- yeah. Yeah, there are some things that I need to tell you.

Jen: I was doing something with Al and Marcie today that I didn't tell you about.

Joey: Well, you were with Al and Marcie so it couldn't be that terrible.

Jen: Al hid a microphone on me, and I buddied up with those sorority girls to get them to admit what they did to Marcie.

Joey: Wow. Did they?

Jen: Yeah. Yeah, Al turned the tape in to the dean.

Joey: That's awesome! Mom was wondering if she was going to able to get any proof. Why did you think you had to hide that from me?

Jen: Because we were skulking around, you know, tricking people. I just didn't feel like that was something that you would do.

Joey: Jen, remember I scammed that drug dealer? That's how I got him to admit that he hid the drugs in Al's room?

Jen: So you're OK with this?

Joey: Hey, you took a risk to help a friend. I think that's wonderful.

Jen: Wow. I guess I just didn't think that you'd feel that way about it.

Joey: Well, now you know.

Jen: But there is more.

Joey: Hey, whatever it is, no matter what, I知 sure it'll be OK.

Jen: OK. Um -- you know that V.I.P. pass for Ultra Violet? Rex gave that to me. I mean, I realize you already know that because his name's on the ticket, but I just want you to know how, you know? I -- well, he came to the church, and he was just digging at me, you know, calling me Mrs. Church Mouse and everything, and -- I don't want anything to do with him. You know that, right?

Joey: Yeah. OK.

Jen: I I know, but I should've told you that. I should've told you right then that I saw him, but I didn't.

Joey: Hey --

[Jen sighs]

Joey: You don't have to report every little thing to me. I mean, you can tell me anything you want, but you're certainly not obligated to, no matter what it is.

Joey: Is there something else?

Jen: No. You know, whatever is in the past --

Joey: Doesn't matter.

Jen: But I will from now on because I know that it's OK to tell you.

Joey: Yeah. Or not.

Jen: Or not.

************************************************************************

Al: Oh, man, I wish the dean's office would call already.

Marcie: Well, now, you know, I知 just glad that this is finally over.

Al: You know what?

Marcie: What?

Al: Let's go out tonight, OK? We'll forget about this whole thing. Besides, I got a surprise for you at Ultra Violet.

Marcie: Are you going to sing?

Al: Oh, God, no. I would never subject a group of innocent people to something so horrible.

Marcie: Why not?

Al: No, you are the one with the voice. You should sing.

Marcie: I don't know what makes you think that I can sing.

Al: I listen.

Marcie: Yeah, but when do I sing?

Al: You sing all the time. You're looking something up in the dictionary or -- or walking down the street on a windy day. Mostly you do it when you don't think I can hear you, though.

[Marcie chuckles]

Marcie: Yeah, but I can't sing in front of all those people. I -- me, no. No.

Al: Oh, too shy?

Marcie: Yeah.

Al: You know, I find that really hard to believe coming from the girl who stood up to half of Llanview University.

[Marcie giggles]

Al: Hey, if you're going to be scared of a little crowd at Ultra Violet, that's -- that's OK.

Marcie: Yeah? Well, you better believe I知 going to be scared.

Al: You know, I don't -- I don't want to push you, OK, but I really would love to see you rip the roof off that place, and you know you could do it, Marcie.

Marcie: No.

Al: You know you could!

Marcie: No! There are going to be really, really good people there.

Al: OK. You want to just spend a quiet evening at home, watch a movie or something, I知 perfectly fine with that.

Marcie: You are?

Al: Yeah, sure.

Marcie: Well, where's my surprise?

Al: Hmm. Ultra Violet.

Marcie: OK, let's go.

Al: Home?

Marcie: No, Ultra Violet. I want my surprise!

Al: Oh, yeah! You want your surprise, huh?

Marcie: Yes.

Al: I知 out of here.

************************************************************************

Roxy: You know, you kind of sort of look like a young Frank Sinatra. You know, just sling a jacket over your shoulder and, boom, you're it.

Cristian: Yeah, right, except I can't sing.

Roxy: Hey, man, it ain't brain surgery. Anybody can sing. I mean, even Nigel can sing. I thought you'd never come around to this place.

Nigel: Miss Roxanne, I came to see if you'd care for tea.

Roxy: No, I壇 rather tequila, honey.

Nigel: Perhaps you've never had a properly brewed cup. You know, what I mean to say is I was wondering if you'd care to have tea with me, you know, sometime.

Roxy: Oh, alert the medium. Are you asking me out?

Nigel: Miss Roxanne, I知 suggesting we might be friends.

Roxy: Oh, by asking me out?

Nigel: Well, yes, merely a simply social overture.

Roxy: Oh, really, to ask me out?

Nigel: Uh -- oh, I --

Roxy: Yeah. You know, I壇 go out.

Nigel: Oh?

Roxy: Not for tea, though.

Nigel: Whatever you'd prefer.

Roxy: By the way, Nigel, how are your vocal cords?

Nigel: Well --

************************************************************************

Asa: We're rolling, son. The governor's going to call a press conference. We're going to announce the retirement of our poor lieutenant governor Pratt because of ill health. And right after that, they're going to swear you in.

Kevin: Wow. It's all starting to pay off, just like you said it would.

Asa: Ah, you deserve it, Kevin.

Kevin: I don't know how to thank you, really -- I mean, not sufficiently, anyway.

Kelly: Oh. Thank Asa for what?

Asa: I want to tell you something. Hmm. You're about the sweetest thing I致e ever seen --

[Kelly chuckles]

Asa: Even though you are related to Blair. I'll let your husband tell you the news. Excuse me.

Kelly: Mm-hmm. So, what's this exciting news?

Kevin: Well, brace yourself because in the next few days, you're about to be married to the lieutenant governor of the commonwealth of Pennsylvania.

[Kelly and Kevin laugh]

Mr. Dawes: Congratulations. Oh, I知 sorry. Did I say congratulations?

Kelly: Uh-huh.

Mr. Dawes: What I meant to say is my condolences.

************************************************************************

[Music plays]

R.J.: So, are you still going to do this thing? Come on. I thought if I gave you a little time to think about it, you'd come to your senses.

Rex: I know what I知 doing, OK? And you know it, too, so quit talking to me like some idiot busboy.

R.J.: Oh, my, what's this? A little self-respect, except for the part there that sounded a little too defensive.

Rex: The club is booked tonight. OK? So just keep your damn respect for the money that I'll earn and the rep that this club is going to earn.

************************************************************************

Joey: Sure. No, it's not a problem, Andrew. No, you just feel better. OK. You're not going to like this.

Jen: Well, I like everything about you.

Joey: I have to take over bingo at St. James tonight.

Jen: Wow -- bingo. The fast lane. Can I go with you?

[Joey chuckles]

Joey: You don't want to do that. You'll go nuts.

Jen: What about you?

Joey: Well, I'll go nuts, too, but I'll hide it. Seriously, go with Al and Marcie. Have fun, celebrate.

Jen: I don't know.

Joey: Seriously, have fun. Hey, I'll meet you there afterwards if I can.

************************************************************************

River: So, how's Adriana doing these days?

Cristian: What, you haven't seen her yet today?

River: No, I haven't -- I haven't really got a chance to.

Cristian: Look, I got to warn you, if you're going to keep seeing Adriana, you better steer clear of my mom.

River: Yeah? What about you?

Cristian: I can't steer clear of my mom.

River: No, no, I meant --

Cristian: I know what you meant. But, hey, who am I to stand in your way, huh?

River: Right.

************************************************************************

Roxy: So what are you so worried about, huh?

Nigel: One hardly knows where to begin.

Roxy: Come on. This hide-and-seek talent thing is a shoe-in. Just follow my lead.

Nigel: Well, I shall, like a bloodhound, Miss Roxanne. But if you could illuminate a bit more --

Roxy: Well, the illumination is that we get to share a $500 first prize --

Natalie: I thought it was $1,000.

Roxy: Shut up! So what do you say, Nige?

************************************************************************

Maddie: That was so completely over the top.

Girl: My folks are going to gut me.

Second girl: Why do we get expelled?

Third girl: We did. Who cares why?

Maddie: I don't get it. I mean, it was just stupid. No one gets expelled for this. I mean, all we did was pour some trash on Walsh, shove her around a little. I mean, not like we committed any crimes.

Girl: Well, it --

Second girl: Daddy will take my tuition out of my trust fund.

Maddie: Hey! What's with going all limp about this?

Girl: Well, what more can we do?

Maddie: No way this is over. That peace freak just declared war on us whether she knows it or not. And if it's war she wants, then it's war she's going to get.

************************************************************************

Al: Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah. OK, thanks. Wow. We just wanted to even the score.

Marcie: What happened?

Al: They got expelled, all of them.

Marcie: All of Sigma Delta Delta?

Al: No, just the ones who participated in the hazing.

Marcie: Oh, my God. I mean, the administration's made a big deal -- you know, a lot of noise about hazing, but expelled? Oh, God, I can't believe it. All of them. Are you sure?

Al: Every Sigma Delt that took part, yeah, I知 sure. You know, you almost sound like you feel bad for these people.

Marcie: I almost do. Almost.

Al: The point is they're gone and it's over.

************************************************************************

>> On the next "One Life to Live" --

Kevin: There is nothing they can do to stop me.

Al: You really think that I would forget a surprise for my girl?

Deke: She's going to get a surprise, all right.

Rex: So, after Search and Destroy, what do you say you do one of your famous stripteases?

Jessica: You guys could just elope!

Cristian: What do you say? Do you want to elope?

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