One Life to Live Transcript Monday 6/30/03

By Eric
Proofread by Boo

Previously on "One Life to Live" --

Natalie: You know Flash? Jen claims that she's Sarah Roberts.

Marcie: They're going to Atlantic City to get married.

Man: I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Walker: No, she won't get the money. And you'll never see it again, either. After all, you're going to rot in prison till the day you die.

[Captioning made possible by ABC, Inc.]

Jen: Mom, please wake up! Help me! Please wake up. Wake up, please.

[Lindsay screams]

Mitch: Oh, I know you would so wish to help your daughter --

[Lindsay struggles]

Mitch: But you can't because you're insane. You're in a madhouse, which means I can do anything I want to lovely Jen.

Lindsay: No. Ugh. No. Jen's in trouble.

Rex: Here you go.

Jen: Oh, this is hey.

Rex: Yeah, it's 100 bucks. Play the slots. I'll be back.

Jen: Wait a minute. This is our wedding night. Aren't we supposed to celebrate?

Rex: Love you. Love you. Love you. I have a poker game lined up, guys only. Figure I can make enough to cover our whole trip, make it all worthwhile.

Jen: We got married. Didn't that make it worthwhile?

Rex: See, sometimes you are so funny. We're going to make a great couple. And remember, 100 is your limit. If you lose that, quit.

Jen: Right, because you have that great investment idea lined up for my money.

Rex: Our money. See you.

Jen: So far, marriage really sucks.

Natalie: I can't believe this. We're really going to get married. We set a date. This is really happening.

Cristian: It's about time.

Natalie: I love you.

Marcie: Oops.

Al: I was hoping we'd get some privacy.

Marcie: We can go back inside.

Al: No. Hey, guys. You know, you're missing everything.

Natalie: What?

Al: Kevin Buchanan -- he just showed up from Texas. That's big news, right?

Natalie: I've never met Kevin. Come on.

Al: Does Al Holden know how to clear a room or what?

[Marcie giggles]

Natalie: He looks just like he does in his pictures.

Viki: I can't believe this. This is fabulous! Honey, I'm so happy to see you.

Kevin: You look great, mom.

Viki: Oh, darling, so do you. My God, you've never met Natalie. She's dying to meet you. And Jessie's going to be so excited. This'll be so good for her. She's been through an awful time.

Kevin: Oh, I know. It's just terrible. I mean, thank God it's over.

Viki: Yeah. How long are you staying?

Asa: He's not here for a visit, Viki. He's here so you can take over your duties as president of Llanview University while he takes over "The Banner."

Viki: What?

Kevin: Kick some butt at L.U., Mom. That's what I'm going to do at "The Banner."

Viki: He said yes?

Asa: Of course.

Kevin: Like anyone can say no to grandpa.

Blair: Oh, my gosh -- Kevin? What in the world are you doing here?

Kevin: Hey, Blair. How you doing?

Blair: I'm doing fine. Kelly didn't call and tell me that you guys were going to be up here. This is great.

Viki: Oh, where is Kelly?

Blair: Yeah?

Kevin: Well, it's just me for now. Hey, I got lots of work setting things up, getting settled, now that I'm taking over "The Banner."

Blair: You are? Congratulations.

Kevin: Who are you calling?

Blair: I'm going to call my people at "The Sun." I think I just got the scoop.

Kevin: Ah, you're too late.

Blair: What?

Kevin: Yeah, special edition of "The Banner."

[Kevin chuckles]

Mitch: What the hell are you playing at? They can't keep me in here. No jail can hold me.

Walker: Hmm. Sorry, Mitch. They got you this time -- multiple homicides. Makes it a little hard on the defense.

Mitch: No, I'll be out in no time because you are going to hire the best lawyers my money can buy. You said yourself you were going to help me. Oh, no. No, no, no. You don't dare. You'll never get away with it.

Walker: Get away with what?

Mitch: You can't abandon me.

Walker: Oh, sure, I can. You're crazy as a loon and I'm just the loving brother who's done everything he can.

[Walker laughs]

Mitch: I gave you access to all my accounts, told you where my assets were hidden!

Walker: Since you're going to be in prison till you're a piece of dead meat, I might as well have a nice life, don't you think? Thank you very much.

Blair: "Award-winning editor"? Kevin, you are so full of yourself.

Kevin: Well, I think the people of Llanview deserve to know what they're getting.

Blair: Oh, get out of here.

[Blair and Kevin laugh]

Blair: Let me see it again. Let me read it. Oh, please. No way.

Troy: Hey, Nora.

Nora: Troy.

Troy: Flash, you taking care of that throat? You're not using that steroid spray, right?

Flash: No. Nope. Everything's great.

Nora: I'm making sure she takes care of herself.

Troy: Good how about you, Nora? How are you doing?

Nora: I'm just fine. Excuse us.

Flash: Um -- so what's up with you and the doc?

Nora: Dr. MacIver is a very, very good doctor. And I say this without any malice -- just make sure that your relationship with him stays strictly professional.

Flash: Ok, ok, you didn't tell me that the whole family was going to be here tonight.

Nora: Oh, my God. Kevin Buchanan.

Flash: What is this? What is this, some kind of setup?

Nora: Oh, no. Calm down. I had no idea they were all going to be here tonight. And if I told you that I wasn't going to tell anyone that you're Viki's niece, then I'm not going to. You don't trust me?

Flash: Yeah. I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry.

Nora: That's all right. And, frankly, if you went up to them and you told them you were Tina's daughter, they'd all be thrilled.

Flash: Yeah. I told Joe and he wasn't thrilled, so forget it.

Blair: Well, Kevin, you must've enjoyed writing this hyped-up press release about yourself.

Kevin: Just the facts, ma'am.

Blair: Oh. Tell you what -- I am going to enjoy going up against you.

Kevin: You're not running "The Sun" again, are you?

Blair: Yes, I am. After Todd --

Kevin: Yeah, I heard. Come on, Blair. Good-looking young mother like yourself shouldn't be stuck in some office somewhere grinding out a living. I'll tell you what. "The Banner" might consider buying you out -- for the right price.

Viki: What?

Blair: He's pulling my leg, Viki. I have a scoop for you, Kevin. See, Starr owns "The Sun," and, yes, I will be grinding it out until she is 25 years of age. So nice seeing you again.

Kevin: It was nicer seeing you.

Viki: Honey, what are you talking about? We would never buy "The Sun."

Kevin: Buy the competition and kill it. Print journalism's fighting for its life, mother. If we want to survive, we need to keep our eye on the prize.

Asa: Finally, Viki -- a grandkid that sounds like a real Buchanan. To you, Kevin.

Marcie: Boy, what a night, huh? And the music. I'm just having the best time. Aren't you?

Al: Marcie?

Marcie: Hmm?

Al: What's going on?

Marcie: What do you mean? Nothing. You know, I mean, you made me that C.D., And the voice of the night played it just for me.

Al: Hey -- you're not worried that we didn't --

Marcie: No. No. No, because, like I said, you know, I'm just --

Al: Not ready. I understand. I would never rush into you anything, Marcie. I love you.

Marcie: Thank you. I love you. Gosh, you know, I mean, I -- I know that I said you didn't want to hear anything about Jen, but, you know, I was just thinking that, I mean, she's going to Atlantic City to get married to that creep Rex Balsom. That's going to be the worst marriage ever.

Jen: Ok, I give up. What are you doing here?

Joey: What am I doing here? Actually, I -- I heard you and Rex were getting married.

Jen: Yeah, it's a done deal. What do you think? So, did you just go from casino to casino just looking for us?

Joey: Actually, I went to the chapel where you were married. I just got there too late.

Jen: Too late for what?

Joey: You and Rex had already left.

Jen: Right.

Joey: Actually, I was hoping I could --

Jen: What, perform the ceremony? Trust me, it's a no-brainer.

Joey: Jen, come on.

Jen: What, did you want to give me another sermon about Rex? Is that it?

Joey: You could've done a lot better than Rex.

Jen: Yeah? With who?

Roxy: There she is. Come here, you. You're in trouble, girl.

Max: Hey, there, Joe, Jen.

Jen: Hey. Why -- why am I in trouble?

Roxy: Why? Because I'm the mama and I wasn't even invited. You know, who's going to stand around and bawl?

Max: Where's Rex?

Jen: He's playing poker with the boys.

Roxy: Did you perform the nuptials?

Joey: No. Actually, I -- I came down to wish them well.

Max: Awful long drive for that.

Joey: Yeah. I should probably get going. Best wishes.

Roxy: So, what do you know -- I'm a mom-in-law, and I have a feeling it's a lot easier than being a mama. Hmm, you're a slot junkie. Oh, yeah. The family that gambles together rambles together -- or something like that.

Mitch: You can't do this to me.

Walker: I didn't do anything to you, Mitch. You did it to yourself.

Mitch: I'll bring the fury of the universe down on your head, brother.

Walker: Ok.

Mitch: You better heed me. I am the messenger. I'm invincible.

Walker: What you are, Mitch, is criminally insane.

Mitch: Guard! Guard! I'll kill you, brother! I'll kill you! This man is not who he says he is! He's a liar! He's a thief! Arrest him!

Guard: Calm down.

Mitch: Arrest him!

Guard: Calm down.

Mitch: You'll burn in hell, brother! I am the messenger! I am the messenger!

Mitch: My brother would never do this to me! You lied to me and everyone else!

Guard: Hey!

Evangeline: What's wrong?

Walker: Oh, Mitch is out of control.

Evangeline: I can see that.

Walker: He's just so -- one minute, he thinks he's Victor Lord. The next, he's the messenger of God. And just now he decided I was a thief and that I'd betrayed him and stolen all his money.

Evangeline: Does he have any significant assets left?

Walker: I don't know.

Evangeline: Well, if it's any consolation, it is unlikely he will lose an insanity plea.

Walker: Even if he's mad, he said such hurtful things.

Mitch: Miss Williamson --

Evangeline: You have to ignore them.

Walker: Miss Williamson, try to help him. I'll pay you. I'll -- I'll get two jobs, three jobs, whatever it takes. Just please help him.

Evangeline: I'll do what I can.

Walker: Thank you. I don't know how much -- how much more of this I can take.

Mitch: Miss Williamson, don't listen to him. He lied to me. He's not my brother, Miss Williamson! Pick up the phone. Pick up the phone right there. Pick up the damn phone and talk to me!

Cristian: All you have to do is go up to him and talk to him. He's a nice guy.

Natalie: I don't know. I mean, he's over there, he's talking to mom and grandpa. I --

Kevin: Natalie? Mom sent pictures, but I didn't realize you were this gorgeous. Look at you. Do I get a hug or what?

Natalie: Well, sure.

Kevin: Hey. How you doing, Cris?

Cristian: How are you? Good to see you.

Kevin: Good. Ok, let me see the ring. Wow. Very nice. Hey, you better treat my little sister right, pal.

Cristian: Oh, I will.

Natalie: So, what's this I hear about you taking over "The Banner"?

Kevin: Yeah, I've been down in Texas building a little character. I thought I'd come back here and shake a few things up.

Viki: Asa, I really don't want you to encourage him in this, and I mean that. Kevin is enough of a risk taker as it is, and for him to take control of a very proud, old paper like "The Banner" is going to be difficult. What's this nonsense about buying "the sun"? Where did that come from?

Asa: Viki, you got to stop trying to slow the boy down before he gets behind the wheel. And you should be using your time to get the university back in good shape.

Natalie: Kevin seems really nice.

Viki: Oh, darling, I'm so glad you two finally met.

Natalie: Well, I bet you're glad that he's taking over "The Banner."

Asa: You're damn right. We all are.

Viki: Well, he's definitely got a lot of ideas.

Natalie: You know, actually, he reminds me a lot of you, grandpa. He's straight to the point.

Asa: Funny. He could do worse. I'm going to get a bourbon.

Natalie: Quite a family gathering.

Viki: Yep, sure is. Actually, I'm delighted that Kevin showed up tonight. You know, he gets to see everybody, new faces included.

Natalie: Yeah. It's kind of funny how everything came out in the open now, huh?

Viki: What do you mean?

Natalie: That Flash is Sarah Roberts.

Viki: What? Natalie, did you just say that Flash is Sarah Roberts, our Sarah?

Natalie: Yeah.

Viki: Oh, my God, of course she is. Nora, excuse me. Flash? Sarah? Honey, why in the world didn't you tell us who you were?

Flash: I -- I just didn't want anybody to know. And I asked somebody not to tell, but I guess you can't trust anybody around here.

Kevin: I don't like it -- a beautiful woman drinking alone. Vodka tonic, please.

Blair: Don't worry about me. Dorian is showing up soon, and she's bringing our newest reporter for "The Sun."

Kevin: Who?

Blair: Walker Laurence.

Kevin: Mitch Laurence's brother.

Blair: Mm-hmm. But they're nothing alike. Actually, he has experience, and I think he's going to be a tremendous asset to the paper.

Kevin: Well, I hope so, because I want to see "The Sun" put up a good fight before it goes under.

Blair: Get ready to rumble.

Joey: Hey, Kev.

Kevin: Hey! There he is. You finally showed up.

Joey: Good to see you, man.

Kevin: You, too, man. Look at you. You look great. Although your wardrobe could use a little help.

Joey: Funny.

[Kevin laughs]

Joey: So I heard you're taking over "The Banner"?

Kevin: Yeah, yeah. Blair and I have already vowed to become bitter rivals.

Blair: So, why didn't you bring Kelly home with you?

Roxy: Next time you better not leave me out of the mix. And next wedding, I better be invited.

Max: Roxy.

Roxy: What?

Max: Huh? Next --

Roxy: Oh. Oh, sorry. Uh -- I meant, you know, I'd better be invited to the golden anniversary.

Jen: Ok, we really need to get going.

Roxy: Where you going?

Rex: Well, I thought we could stay here and celebrate.

Jen: I want to go back.

Rex: Ok. Yeah. Great to see you guys. Have fun.

Max: So long. Congratulations.

Roxy: Yeah, to the two of yous.

Rex: What's up? You sure you really want to leave or just go someplace that they're not?

Jen: I want to go back to Llanview. So, did you -- did you win at poker?

Rex: Well, not exactly.

Roxy: So, no wedding, no party, but I smell an empty table. We could have a blast.

Max: Look, maybe you can, but I am not gambling.

Roxy: Well, maybe we should drink.

Max: Uh-uh. Last time I drank at a casino, I ended up married.

Roxy: Yes, you did.

Troy: Dr. MacIver's not home. How'd you get out of St. Ann's?

Lindsay: I had a dream that Jen was in trouble. I had to leave.

Troy: Ok. So why come here?

Lindsay: I wanted to ask you for help, but I lost my nerve. I know you hate me.

Troy: Mitch isn't going to hurt Jen, Lindsay, or anyone else, for that matter. He's in jail, and he's never getting out.

Lindsay: Thank you. I need to know that she's ok. It means so much to me. Mitch is evil. If I could get to him, I would kill him.

Troy: Would you, now?

Troy: I'd kill him, too. I would take my hands, and I would wrap them around his throat, and I would squeeze the life out of him.

Walker: Dorian, I'm sorry. I know I was going to stop by and drive you to the palace, but I'm wiped. Seeing Mitch really took a lot out of me. Hmm. As a matter of fact, Blair canceled out on us, too. She was upset about Todd, I think. Thanks for being so understanding. Talk to you later, Dorian.

Kevin: Hey, can't a guy take a trip on his own? I came here to take over a newspaper, not do a family vacation.

Joey: Whether you're with Kelly or Kelly's not with you -- not my business anymore.

Blair: I just thought there might be some kind of a problem, that's all.

Kevin: Nope. Everything is great with Kelly and me.

Joey: Good. It's really good to see you.

Kevin: You, too. Always got to be the troublemaker, don't you.

Blair: Hey. Hey. Walker Laurence, Kevin Buchanan.

Walker: Nice to meet you.

Kevin: You, too.

Blair: Kevin's back home to take over his family's newspaper, "The Banner." Where's Dorian?

Walker: She begged off -- too tired.

Blair: Really? Hmm.

Kevin: So I understand you're a writer, Walker. How did you wind up at "The Sun"?

Walker: Oh, well, I didn't inherit it.

Kevin: Well, inheriting it is the easy part. It's talent that keeps you there.

Walker: Well, I hope you have the talent. Nice to meet you why don't you --

Blair: What?

Walker: Buy me a drink, tell me what I've missed.

Blair: Sure. Bartender?

Joey: Excuse me, grandpa.

Flash: Thanks a lot.

Joey: What's wrong?

Flash: Why did you tell your mother who I was? She's been all over me, hugging me a k kissing me to death, asking me a thousand questions.

Joey: I didn't.

Flash: Then how does she know? You must have told somebody. Who?

Lindsay: I have to get back.

Evangeline: Mr. Laurence, I understand you've been upset, but let's -- I hope you realize that you can --

Mitch: Wait -- you listen to me. I am not insane. I'm going to tell you the truth, and I need you to act on it. Understood?

Evangeline: Of course.

Mitch: My brother has aligned himself with the devil. He deceived me into telling him where I had hidden all my assets.

Evangeline: The courts have frozen any assets that you once had.

Mitch: I have money stashed all over the world. Now, Walker told me that he wanted to help me, but all he wants is my money.

Evangeline: Why don't we put your brother aside for the moment and concentrate on your defense.

Mitch: Did you hear what I said? He's the devil. I need you to stop him so he can't gain hold of all my assets. Do you --

Evangeline: Mr. Laurence, why don't we deal with the problem that I can help you with. You will be denied bail at your hearing, so don't worry about money. Your only chance is to plead guilty by reason of insanity. Do you understand?

Mitch: Get out.

Evangeline: Excuse --

Mitch: You heard me! Get out. I am not insane, and I am not pleading guilty! You're fired.

Evangeline: Mr. Laurence --

Mitch: You're fired! You're fired! Ah! You're fired!


Mrcie: The moon went behind the clouds.

Al: Yeah. Heard it's going to rain. Hey, try some of these little fried things. They're really good.

Marcie: No thanks.

Al: Marcie, is everything ok with us?

Marcie: Sure. I mean, I hope so. I mean, are you ok --

Al: I said I was. I love you, Marcie. Anything else, that can wait -- can wait till later.

Marcie: Ooh. I felt a drop.

Al: Yeah. Me, too.

Marcie: Let's go back inside.

Al: Ok.

Joey: Flash, I didn't tell anyone who you were. It must've been somebody else who knew.

Flash: Gee, you think maybe it was the girl you can't take your eyes off of?

Viki: Joey, darling, Natalie just told me a really amazing thing. Did you know that Flash is really Sarah Roberts?

Joey: I -- I just found out myself recently.

Viki: Well, why wouldn't you tell me, for heaven's sakes?

Flash: Excuse me. Can I say something? Joe, I'm sorry that I thought you blew it, and I just really don't want everybody telling everybody, ok?

Viki: Sarah, do your parents know where you are? No, they don't. They've got to be worried sick about you. They have to know that you're all right.

Flash: My mother's probably too busy hanging out with some loser to care.

Viki: What?

Flash: Just please don't tell her, ok?

Viki: Well, I can't tell your mother even if I wanted to because I don't know where she is. No one does.

Flash: Great.

Viki: But I can certainly tell your father, and I'm going to.

Flash: Look, my dad thinks that I'm fine, so I don't want him --

Viki: No, honey, he doesn't. But when I call your father, he will know that you're staying here in Llanview with your family because we love you, sweetie, and we're going to take care of you.

Marcie: So, you really married rex? I mean really?

Jen: Sure. Hey, check out my rings. Aren't they gorgeous?

Viki: Asa, I'm going to go home and check on Jessica. I'm a little worried about her, ok?

Asa: You know, if this was the Texas that I grew up in, Mitch Laurence would never be in jail. He'd be swinging from a tree.

Viki: After what he did to my two girls, sounds just perfect. Good night.

Asa: Good night.

Blair: I don't care how insane Mitch is. He killed Todd, and I know it.

Walker: And believe me, my brother's going to get the punishment he deserves.

Blair: Punishment? You think prison is punishment for him? He deserves to be in a grave.

Walker: Where are you going?

Blair: I'm going to go check on Starr. Well, I certainly hope that your client is still in jail.

Evangeline: Hi.

Walker: Were you able to calm down Mitch?

Evangeline: No. But he's not competent to stand trial, so any lawyer will be able to get him committed.

Walker: What do you mean, any lawyer?

Evangeline: Mitch fired me.

Walker: Oh, that's sad. That's sad. Guess I'll have to find some other way to help him. Excuse me.

Roxy: Come on, little honey bunches, don't let me down. Blow on them.

Max: Roxy, I've been blowing on them ever since you got to the table.

Roxy: Come on. Blow on them. You got magic breath.

Max: Yeah, well, my breath seems to be a little weak right now because you haven't won once.

Roxy: Well, then, kiss them. Come on. Come on, they're not dirty. Kiss them.

Max: I don't kiss inanimate objects, ok?

Roxy: Oh, come on. One kiss, just for old time's sakes? You don't want to see me get down on my knees, do you?

[Max sighs]

Roxy: Or do you?

Max: Roll them.

Roxy: Attaboy. Ok. Work for me, baby. Work for me. Seven.

Yeah! All right! Ok, it worked. You're my lucky charm.

Max: Ah, I didn't have anything to do with that at all.

Al: Hey.

Joey: Hey.

Al: It's raining. Come on, man. Why don't we go inside, you know? Don't want to rinse all the starch out of your collar there, padre.

Joey: Damn this thing.

Al: Yeah. That Rex Balsom, man, he is just the worst, you know?

Joey: Not much I can do about it now.

Marcie: But you hardly even thought about it, Jen. I mean, what is Rex to you really?

Jen: My husband.

Marcie: Come on. You could go to a judge in the morning, get it annulled.

Jen: You're just jealous because I'm married and I'm not going to stand around being someone's pal forever.

Kevin: Evangeline Williamson.

Evangeline: And you are?

Kevin: Kevin Buchanan.

Evangeline: Another Buchanan?

Kevin: Best-looking and the smartest, I might add. So, I hear that you are a terrific attorney.

Evangeline: Depending on whose side you're on.

Kevin: I'd like to hire you to be on mine.

Rex: Hey, R.J. Rex Balsom. Listen, I just wanted to let you know that I have the money for Ultra Violet. Do you want to swing by The Palace and talk details? Oh, I definitely have the money. I'm married now. Listen, I'll see you later.

Jen: Come on. I want to go to St. Ann's and tell my mom that we got married.

Rex: Uh, yeah. Why don't you do that on your own?

Jen: What, the crazies make you crazy?

Rex: Ah, well, a little.

Jen: Ok. Fine. I'll just go by myself.

Lindsay: Sister?

Lindsay: What are you doing here?

Blair: Um -- could you get me a scotch, please? Make it a double. Thanks.

Marcie: What were you doing out on the terrace?

Al: I was talking to Joey.

Marcie: Is he ok?

Al: He will be once he gets over Jen. But I'm here with you right now, so nothing else matters.

Blair: Thank you.

Walker: Great. You're back. Was starting to think you'd left for good.

Blair: No.

Walker: What took you so long?

Blair: Starr -- she wanted to talk about rattlesnakes, and she can be pretty long-winded when it comes to snakes.

Walker: She thinks I'm one.

Blair: So, where'd you go?

Walker: I've been here waiting for you.

Blair: No, you weren't. I just walked in, and you weren't here, and your jacket's all wet. Where have you been?

Walker: Just ran out to roll up my windows.

Blair: Oh.

Nora: Excuse me. Has either one of you seen Flash?

Kevin: You mean my cousin Sarah?

Nora: Yeah. Yes, one and the same.

Kevin: Well, I think I saw her leave.

Nora: Oh, great.

[Phone rings]

Nora: I thought I was the one that was supposed to be driving her home. Excuse me for a minute.

Kevin: Sure.

Nora: Nora Buchanan. Hey, Bo. Yeah, what's up -- he's missing from his cell? How is that possible?

Viki's voice: But when I call your father, he will know that you're staying here in Llanview with your family, who loves you and who will always take care of you.

 Stay tuned for scenes from the next "One Life to Live."

 On the next "One Life to Live" --

Max: What do you say to a game of stud? If I win, you give Rene the romantic proposal she deserves.

Jen: Mom, are you awake?

Joey: I'm sort of surprised you came back to Llanview.

Bo: I got some questions for you.

Walker: What about?

Bo: Your brother.

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