Guiding Light Transcript Thursday 1/8/09
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Provided by Suzanne
Proofread by Tanya
Previously on "Guiding Light"...
Alan: Every time I mention marriage, you change the subject.
Brooks: Let's get going. I've got a court time at 5:00.
Coop: I don't like that guy Beth is with.
Buzz: Would you like any guy Beth is with?
Coop: You got it wrong about Beth.
Brooks: The ditzy law student?
Coop: I would stop talking right about now if I were you.
Alan: Buzz, have you seen my wife?
Coop: Dad, I need to talk to you for a second? I think we might be losing the restaurant.
Mallet: What are you watching?
Marina: Oh, the stuff that Ashlee and Daisy shot the other day at Christmas. Isn't she the cutest baby you've ever seen?
Mallet: Yeah, I don't know. I'm kind of partial to the woman holding her. Ow! Oh, ow!
Marina: You having another one?
Marina: I thought you said you stopped having these.
Mallet: Ah, ah, ah, yeah, not so much.
Marina: Why didn't you tell me?
Mallet: Because it’s... I don't know. Because it's no big deal.
Marina: Well, yeah, it is, if you're having them all of the time. I think it's because you're on your feet all day.
Mallet: Yeah, that's my job.
Marina: Yeah, well, you need to go have it checked out, all right?
Mallet: You mean checked out by a doctor? That's crazy. They're just cramps.
Marina: No, they're cramps if you get, like, one or two of them. If it happens all of the time, it's a symptom.
Mallet: I can't believe this. You're a worry wart. That's very cute.
Olivia: Look, I know you're talking this assignment very seriously, and I think that's good. And I'm so proud of how hard you're working.
Emma: Just like you?
Olivia: Yeah. Um, look, I want to talk to you about our vacation.
Emma: We don't take any vacations.
Olivia: Well, then we should. We should! Um, I was thinking about spring break. So I thought we would go to a theme park. You know, one of those big things with the rides, but then I remembered all the college students would all be taking their break then, too, and that didn't seem like much fun. So I went to a travel agent, and I got these brochures for Washington, D.C. You know, there's lots to do there and lots to see. And it's very close to Colonial Williamsburg. What do you think?
Natalia: Good, you are both here. All right, so I was looking at Emma’s class schedule, and I realized that she has spring break coming up. So I kind of went and I looked up some stuff, and I was looking for some places that you guys might want to go on for like a vacation or something. What?
Olivia: Wow! (Laughing)
Natalia: Why are you laughing? What's so funny?
Olivia: I got this.
Natalia: No! Let me see.
Olivia: Oh, that is funny. That's weird.
Brooks: What do you think you were doing in there?
Beth: Advising the client. Isn't that our job?
Brooks: No. That's my job. I'm the lead attorney here. You're a legal student trying to get credit for a course.
Beth: You took this case pro bono. It's a tax break for you...
Brooks: Which gives you the right to offer advice? You haven't even taken the bar exam yet.
Beth: I don't need to have taken the bar exam to see that this case is nothing but a nuisance to you.
Brooks: Do you want me to call your professor, let him know how your behaving?
Beth: Do you need his number? Or shall I give it to you? Look, this case may not be important to you, but to Lori Wilson, your client, it is very important. She is a single mother. She doesn't have the money to move if her landlord screws her. He knows that. That's why he's not fixing her heat. And as her attorney, it's your job to give her the best advice possible, even when it is pro bono and you're not making a cent.
Brooks: And who gave you the idea that you're capable of giving this advice?
Beth: I'd like to say it's me. I'd like to say that I had that kind of confidence in my abilities, but it took someone else. Someone very special, to make me realize what I could do.
Buzz: Wait, wait, wait. Just back up a little bit here. Look, I know I've been behind a little bit on the bills but, you know... how the hell could I be on the verge of losing the restaurant?
Coop: Dad, I've been going through all of these, trying to find something, and I've got nothing.
Alan: You know, these numbers don't look good, Buzz.
Buzz: Alan, it's been a rough year on a lot of us!
Coop: Do you mind?
Alan: I'm just trying to be helpful.
Coop: Yeah, I see that, but how, all right? You're just gloating now.
Frank: What’s... what's going on here?
Buzz: It's nothing, Frank.
Coop: Pop, you've got to face this.
Frank: Face what?
Coop: Unfortunately, there is more money going out of this place than is coming in.
Buzz: I haven't done a great job on the books, and so Coop is looking at them.
Frank: Well, how bad is it?
Coop: Did you refinance the mortgage on this place, Dad?
Buzz: Well, years ago... look, I got a great rate. I was saving a lot of money.
Coop: I'm sure you did, and then the rate expired. It's now through the roof. Do you realize that you now... you owe more money than this place is even worth, Dad?
Buzz: Oh, hell, that can't be!
Coop: Dad, in a couple of months, we could feasibly be out of money. Maybe even sooner.
Buzz: Look, it... look, I know I'm bad at this stuff, but there has got to be a mistake here. There has got to be something. There's got to be something.
Coop: I can't find anything.
Alan: Your son is right, Buzz. You're up a creek.
Emma: Natalia's pictures are better, Mom. (Laughter)
Olivia: That's all so funny.
Natalia: I can't believe you were thinking the exact same thing.
Olivia: The important thing is we both want you to have a really great spring break. Of course, we could go visit a coal mine if you prefer that.
Olivia: Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner. Are you okay?
Natalia: Yeah. It's just so fun. I always wanted to take Rafe when he was little. Just couldn't really swing it. Hey, Emma, I was looking through some of your paperwork. We never went and picked up your art supplies for art class, huh?
Emma: No, can we go now?
Olivia: I can’t. I have a conference call and I cannot reschedule.
Natalia: I have stuff to take over to the Beacon, some paperwork, and so I can just bring her with me and pick that up, and we can go pick up some art supplies.
Olivia: Oh, well, that will work. What about dinner?
Natalia: Ah, it's in the crock pot, so, I mean, if you could maybe stir it every now and then?
Olivia: I can do that.
Natalia: Okay. I feel like I'm forgetting something.
Olivia: Yeah. Dry cleaning?
Natalia: Oh, okay. Yeah. That must be everything. Okay!
Olivia: Don't worry about your assignment, okay? Sooner or later you're going to be inspired by something, and then you're going to know exactly what it is that makes your family unique. I like my brochures better.
Marina: Is that better? Is the pain gone?
Mallet: Oh, yeah. Now I'm just starting to feel... good. (Laughter)
Marina: I am not trying to turn you on, dork. Who's your doctor?
Mallet: I don't really have a doctor.
Marina: Well, who did your last physical?
Mallet: Oh, wow... I don’t... um...
Marina: Please tell me you've had a physical.
Mallet: Of course. You can't become a cop without one.
Marina: Okay. Wait. You haven't had a physical since you were in the Academy?
Mallet: When was the last time you had one?
Marina: We're not talking about me. We're talking about you. Okay? This is really big stuff. What if something were to happen to you? Do you have life insurance?
Mallet: No. Do you have a retirement account?
Mallet: There you go.
Marina: Do you have a will?
Mallet: No! Do you have a will?
Marina: No! Who let us get married before we figured this stuff out?
Mallet: Oh, it's going to work out.
Marina: I'm sure it is.
Brooks: So this friend of yours, the one with the great advice? What law firm does he work for?
Beth: He's not a lawyer. He's a writer.
Brooks: A writer? What do they know? Beth... Beth, if you want a successful law career, like mine, you'll listen to the people who actually know what they're talking about.
Beth: When I first started taking classes, I did so because I wanted to be independent. I wanted to take care of myself. But I could have gone to school for anything.
Brooks: And you made a good choice going into law. I bill $700 an hour.
Beth: I don't care how much money you make. And, by the way, neither does your client. She just wants somebody who will help her. And that's the kind of lawyer that I want to be.
Brooks: You are so naive. I'm sorry, I don't think you have the temperament it takes to be a good attorney. Is the judge ready for me?
Ms. Wilson: No. It's already done!
Brooks: How is that possible?
Beth: Did you take my advice? Did you speak to your landlord?
Ms. Wilson: I'm going to have heat again! He's fixing everything.
Beth: That's great. That's great!
Ms. Wilson: He's even giving me a discount on next month's rent. This is better than I ever hoped for. Thank you!
Beth: I'm sorry, you were saying something about my ability to be a good lawyer?
Frank: I don't understand. You didn't know you were behind, Pop?
Buzz: Of course I did. Of course I did. But, you know... I mean, I just thought it was because of the gas prices. All of the vendors are charging more.
Frank: Well, unfortunately, it's probably going to mean that you're going to need to start increasing your prices here to the customers.
Buzz: Oh, Frank, how can I do that? Come on, I know the customers that come in here. I mean, they have trouble filling up their gas tanks. I mean, what am I going to do? Charge them a buck more for a burger? Come on.
Coop: Even if you charge them a buck more, Dad, it's still not going to be enough.
Frank: Well, it will help.
Buzz: Look, I'm a cook. I'm not a businessman, we all know that. The loan officer told me it was a great rate. It was a great deal!
Coop: Yes, it was... at the time.
Alan: I've seen this happen a thousand times, Buzz. The lure of the easy money. I bet he wanted you to take out an equity loan and fix up the place, too, didn't he?
Buzz: Yes. Well, I mean, that's how... how I bought the stove.
Alan: Yeah. That's how they get you to commit when things are great. But they never warn you that things could change.
Coop: Yeah. Gas prices could go up. The fixed rate ends. The adjustment rate kicks in, and not to mention that balloon payment that's coming up.
Frank: What, are you saying there is absolutely nothing we can do here? We can't even get a different mortgage?
Coop: No. Not until we get that equity line paid off.
Alan: I'm sorry, Buzz. Company is really going to be missed. It's like an institution in this town. But, unfortunately, this is the way our market system works. Big companies like Spaulding do great, and the smaller companies... well, I don't have to say anything else.
Frank: You know what? You've said more than enough. It's time for you to leave.
Buzz: What do we do now?
Coop: Dad, I wish... I wish I had some answers, but I've got nothing. I've got nothing.
Buzz: I messed this up. I messed this up for the whole family.
Mallet: Well, that's a lot of stuff.
Marina: Yeah. I can't believe you've never done any of this stuff before.
Mallet: Me? Why is it all on me?
Marina: Well, you're supposed to do this stuff when you get married, and you're the one who's been married before.
Mallet: Yeah, well, I sucked at it.
Marina: Yeah, well, let's not suck this time, okay?
Mallet: You act like we do everything wrong in our marriage. We do tons of stuff right.
Marina: Oh, really? Like what?
Mallet: Hmm. What do we do right? I really can't think of anything. Let's see...
Marina: Oh! Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right. That's right. I think... I think I can do something right, too.
Mallet: Yeah. That’s... that's kind of... that's kind of right.
Natalia: Mm! What do you think? Do you want to split one with me?
Natalia: Oh, no. Rafe! His diabetes medication. I was supposed to get it refilled. I knew I was forgetting something!
Emma: I'll go with you.
Natalia: Oh, honey, prison is not really a place for a little girl.
Emma: But I haven't seen him in a long time. And doesn't he need his medicine?
Natalia: You are so sweet. All right, let me just call your mommy first, okay? Oh, the battery's dead. All right. You know what? I'll call her from the visiting room, right? She'll... she'll understand, right?
Emma: Do you like helping my mom?
Natalia: Sure. Yeah, I help her and she helps me. We're partners.
Olivia: Yeah, absolutely. I think the Midwest is the perfect place to start. I mean, the original Beacon is here, and we'll get as many new customers from word of mouth as we will from TV ads. Yeah. Yeah. Let's start with Indianapolis. Hey, let me put you on hold. I have a call coming in. Hi, Natalia. It's me. Look, I think I know what you forgot. And judging by the date on this I think it's kind of important. So call me, okay?
Why can't it be easy to say
Olivia: Hey, guys, look, I'm sorry, I'm going to have to end this conference call. I'm sorry. I have no choice, okay? Something has come up. You know what cities I'm interested in, so go ahead and just give me the details on that, and I'll reschedule for later this week. Okay? Great. Thanks.
Never should have
let you go
never should have
let you go...
Lillian: She's not here.
Lillian: Alan, she's not here. And Lizzie is sleeping. I just got her to finally settle down for a nap. She's so tired.
Alan: Beth is probably working on that pro bono case with Brooks.
Lillian: Could you at least pretend you're proud of her? She's really doing something. She's making a statement, Alan.
Alan: The only statement I want to hear from Beth is, "Yes, Alan, I will marry you." Then she won't have to be a lawyer. She won't have to work. I will take care of her. And I will take care of you, which should be motivation for you to go and talk with Beth.
Lillian: Do you really think you can bribe me? I mean, all I care about is what is best for Beth. And do you think marrying you is the best thing in the world for Beth?
Alan: Of course I do.
Lillian: Oh, God, Alan, sometimes I want to pummel you! I mean, really, you talk about family and how you care about them. But the truth is, the only thing you care about is yourself. I don't think you care a damn about Beth’s needs.
Alan: That is ridiculous, Lillian! You name me one other person in this town who thinks more about Beth’s needs than I do.
Coop: Dad, you're not to blame here, all right?
Frank: Yeah. Coop's right. This is not your fault.
Buzz: Oh, really? Well, whose fault is it?
Frank: Well, it's the damn loan officers. Are you kidding me? They sold you on all of the good stuff and didn't tell you about all of the risks.
Buzz: That's my signature on this! Not his. This isn't just a restaurant. It was supposed to be for the family. Frank, I mean, the diner, the fire...
Frank: About the fire... the diner is gone, okay? Stop beating yourself up over it.
Buzz: The idea behind this-- why I wanted this to work-- was to leave something for the family. And now it's like I put a match to it.
Coop: I'll... get some fresh air, okay?
Frank: Pop, we didn't know that we would be able to survive after the diner fire, but we did. Trust me, we will get through this, too.
Beth: I came here. I wanted to tell you first.
Coop: Tell me what?
Beth: My client, Lori Wilson, the one with the problem with the landlord...
Beth: Well, she ignored that idiot Gerald Brooks, and she took my advice-- my advice-- and it worked!
Coop: Great. That’s... that’s... wow, that's great, Beth.
Beth: What's going on? Is something wrong?
Coop: It's Pop. We're just having some money problems.
Beth: Is he late on some bills?
Coop: No. No. He just... he refinanced a couple of years ago. And the adjustable rate kicked in a few months ago. And now it's just gotten out of control, and he just can't keep up... we can't keep up.
Beth: Is he going to have to file for bankruptcy?
Coop: No. No. I think we're talking foreclosure.
Beth: What are you going to do?
Coop: I don't know. I don't know, but, you know what... enough. The case, please. Talk to me about that. Because obviously I could use something to smile about right now.
Beth: The only... the only thing that matters is that I stood up to that jerk because of you.
Coop: Me? What do you mean, me?
Beth: I heard what you said to him about how talented I was. And that was... that was even after I hurt you.
Coop: Look, I just... I just told Mr. Brooks the truth. You were the one who helped that woman. All right? It's not because of anything that I said. It's because you, Beth, are very resourceful.
Beth: Me? You're right. I... I am resourceful. And I helped Lori with Brooks. And I might be able to help you, too.
Beth: I have an idea.
Coop: An idea?
Beth: Yes. Just cross your fingers! This just might work! Yes!
Mallet: You're dressed?
Marina: Yes. Come on. Let's go.
Mallet: Go where?
Marina: You have an appointment. I made you an appointment at Cedars. You're getting a physical.
Mallet: Well, just like that? Right now? What about all of our cuddling?
Marina: You were snoring.
Mallet: No, before that. We were doing some awesome cuddling. It was, like, earth-shattering.
Marina: I'm not saying it wasn't good. I'm just saying, it's time that we bring up all of that boring, adult stuff to the same level of importance.
Mallet: Well, you have to get a physical. Why am I going first? Oh, because I'm older and wiser and more mature.
Mallet: Whatever. I'll let you be bossy for the day.
Marina: Really? You think I'm bossy? Wow. See, I was going to reward you after your physical with maybe a little surprise. But if you're going to call me names...
Mallet: Hmm, yeah, I'm going to call you funny names. I'm going to call you names like "hot stuff." I'm going to call you "sexy" and maybe "babetastic!"
Marina: Oh, "babetastic."
Mallet: I'm thinking "twinkielicious."
Marina: Those aren't words. Those aren't even words.
Natalia: All right, so we have to sit over here on this side because we're not allowed to touch.
Natalia: Oh, because it's a rule.
Emma: Well, that's stupid.
Rafe: Yes, it is a stupid rule. So tell me, Emma, how do you like living on a farm?
Emma: It's good. We have ducks!
Rafe: Really? Okay.
Natalia: So, I brought your prescription, and I know the guards have to check it out or whatever. But I didn't want you to think I forgot.
Rafe: That's cool. All right, so tell me, you've got ducks? Okay.
Emma: We're going on vacation.
Natalia: They're... they're going on vacation.
Emma: You planned it.
Natalia: Well, Olivia and I were both looking at her schedule, and we realized that she has spring break coming up, and just as a coincidence, we started thinking of great places for vacation.
Rafe: That's funny.
Natalia: Yeah, it's a coincidence. It's a one-time thing. It'll never happen again.
Guard: Is this fast enough for you, lady?
Olivia: Hey. I found Rafe’s prescription. It looked a little overdue.
Rafe: So much for that theory.
Olivia: What's so funny?
Natalia: No. It’s... I think the guard has to check it out.
Olivia: I saw the slip, and I knew you said you forgot something.
Natalia: No, I did. That's exactly what I was forgetting.
Alan: So where did you get these pearls of wisdom about a woman's needs? From Buzz? Maybe that's why he couldn't take care of his own needs.
Lillian: What are you talking about?
Alan: Well, have you spoken to Buzz today?
Lillian: I'm on my way to see him right now.
Beth: Alan, I need to talk to you. Mom, you need to stay.
Lillian: Well, I have to go see Buzz...
Beth: Well, this is about Buzz and Company.
Alan: I already know. It's a shame, isn't it? I was actually starting to like some of the things on the menu.
Lillian: What's a shame? What do you mean? What's he talking about, honey?
Beth: A few years ago, Buzz refinanced. He got a new mortgage on Company. One of those adjustable rate ones. And now he can't keep up with the interest.
Lillian: Are you telling me he could lose Company?
Beth: Not if Alan comes to the rescue.
Beth: Alan, you know Buzz. He wasn't being greedy. He just saw an opportunity to try and make things better, fix up the restaurant and lower his costs.
Alan: But he did not read the small print, and that is not my problem.
Beth: You're right. It's not. But you could be the hero. You could buy the restaurant, get a realistic mortgage-- something Buzz could afford.
Lillian: Are you telling me you want Alan to be Buzz's landlord, Beth?
Beth: Mom, it's the only way. Otherwise, Buzz will lose Company. This way the Cooper’s get to continue running the restaurant, and Alan gets to save a local landmark and make a profit. It would be a small one, true, but it would still be a profit.
Alan: Hmm. You know, Beth, that's very astute.
Lillian: Wait a minute. Buzz must just be a wreck right now, right? Have you told him this idea?
Beth: No. I wanted to run it by Alan first. You and Buzz have a history. Most of it bad, but... when you fell and almost lost everything, Buzz was the one that took you in. And I'm not just talking about giving you a place to stay or food to eat. He listened to you. When I couldn't, when Lizzie couldn't, Buzz did. Now, he's not going to like this any better than you do, but it will keep the business open. And isn't that what everybody wants?
Alan: This is important to you, isn't it, Beth?
Beth: Yes, it is.
Alan: Well, if it is important to you, it is very important to me.
Buzz: There's got to be some other bank, some better loan than this.
Coop: Dad, I've talked to all of the banks.
Frank: You called every bank in America?
Coop: No, Frank. I haven't called every bank in America. But I've called enough of them, and they've said the exact same thing. They won't touch us until the equity line is paid off.
Frank: Okay. Here is a novel idea: Then why don't we raise the money to pay off the equity line?
Coop: Right, why didn't I think of that? I already have, Frank, and tried it.
Buzz: It's a lot of money.
Frank: It is, and let me tell you something. So why don't we do the same thing we did for Natalia? Let's have a fundraiser.
Buzz: Yeah, that worked.
Buzz: It's worth a start.
Coop: It is a start, but it worked because it was a smaller amount of money.
Frank: Hold on why are you so negative?
Coop: Frank, I'm just being realistic here!
Frank: And I'm trying to help!
Coop: Well, you know what? If you want to help, go outside and have a Christmas tree sale in the middle of January, and tell me how many pennies you raise...
Buzz: Guys! Guys!
Buzz: Guys, come on. We can't turn on each other. (Telephone rings)
Coop: Pop, I think you should get the phone.
Buzz: No! It's going to be some bill collector.
Coop: Dad, just get the phone, please. Go.
Buzz: Hello? What? No. We'll be right over.
Dr. Mansfield: Hi, I'm Dr. Mansfield.
Mallet: Oh, A.C. Mallet.
Dr. Mansfield: Nice to meet you.
Mallet: Nice to meet you. Is he old enough to be a doctor?
Marina: Rick Bauer recommended him. Unless you would rather get naked in front of Rick.
Mallet: Here you go, Doc. Here's my papers.
Marina: If you have any questions, you can just ask me, right? My husband can be a little shy about things. He probably forgot to mention that he seems to be allergic to a couple of things, like doing the dishes.
Mallet: Hmm. Is that why you brought me to the doctor?
Marina: Actually, we're here because my husband has not had a physical in forever, and he's been having these leg cramps.
Mallet: Because I'm very macho.
Marina: I don't care if you're macho, just well.
Mallet: I know, but they're leg cramps. You worry about the oddest things.
Marina: That's not odd if I love you.
Dr. Mansfield: Okay. Time to drop your pants.
Mallet: I'm used to dinner first, maybe a glass of wine.
Marina: Mallet, behave!
Natalia: So, you're not mad, right, that I didn't call you first?
Olivia: No, no. Rafe needed his medication.
Natalia: Okay. Because, I did... I really tried to call you.
Olivia: Your phone wasn't working.
Olivia: I trust you. Don't worry about it, okay?
Natalia: I can't believe you interrupted your conference call, though.
Olivia: Speaking of which, do you want to call everybody and reschedule? Because I'm going to help Em with her project.
Natalia: Yeah, sure.
Emma: Actually, I already figured it out.
Olivia: Really? You figured out what makes your family unique?
Emma: Yeah. You guys.
Natalia: Us? Oh... I... I don't know if that's what your teacher meant.
Emma: Why not? You help each other out.
Olivia: Well, you know, it's better than writing about Alan.
Natalia: That's true.
Olivia: Okay, then, go to it, Em.
Alan: Well, Buzz, what do you think?
Lillian: Say something, Buzz.
Buzz: Can I sit down?
Buzz: You want to be my landlord?
Frank: I'd like to hear more details.
Alan: It's a very simple deal, Frank. I buy the land and I lease the restaurant to your father. Your bad mortgage goes away, and Company can once again prosper.
Frank: Well, hopefully you understand our reluctance here, but you know the Cooper’s, they don't like to owe anybody anything-- especially the Spaulding’s.
Alan: If you want to find another buyer, be my guest, Frank.
Coop: Wait, wait, wait. This seems like a pretty straightforward deal. The numbers are fair. And, more importantly, Company can start making money again.
Frank: Then why do we feel like a wounded animal then, and he's the vulture circling around us?
Alan: If it makes you feel better, Frank, this idea wasn't mine. Beth proposed this to me not as a favor but as a business opportunity.
Frank: Buying Company? Why would you ever want to do that?
Beth: It's not much in terms of income, true. But everyone in Springfield knows Company, and if Spaulding saves it... you can't buy that kind of P.R.
Frank: What do you want to do, Pop?
Buzz: I... I know what you're thinking. I know what you're thinking. But how can I say no?
Alan: This calls for some champagne!
Lillian: Buzz, are you sure?
Buzz: It calls for ouzo! (Laughter)
Coop: It's a great idea, Beth. I owe you.
Beth: No, we're even.
Coop: I certainly hope that means what I think you mean.
Olivia: So, how's it going?
Emma: Good. I'm almost done.
Natalia: How's she doing?
Olivia: She says she's almost done.
Natalia: I don't know why you're surprised. She's so smart.
Olivia: No, no, it's not that. It's just when she told me about this project, I think I was... I mean, I kept thinking, who does she know? She barely knows my brother. Her father, the rest of the Spaulding’s.
Natalia: When Rafe and I were living at the mansion with Alan, every now and then he would mention Phillip. What's the deal? Did he love him or did he hate him?
Olivia: Both, I think. It's probably what drove him crazy, initially. Sooner or later I'm going to have to sit her down and tell her more about her father.
Natalia: Well, you don't have to worry about that tonight. Did you taste this?
Mallet: Whoa, look at that one! That was a good one. That was like a bonus one there. I should get points for that one. Sorry, Doc. I faked that. I was just trying to impress you. I mean, come on, after my wife goes on and on about leg cramps. I think she worries too much.
Dr. Mansfield: Your blood pressure is a little high.
Mallet: Oh, it is?
Dr. Mansfield: Yes.
Mallet: I think it's too much salt. I like chips. I should probably cut down on the chips. But have you ever tried unsalted peanuts? I mean, what's the point of that? And don't get me started on butterless popcorn. Who goes to a movie and says "Yeah, I want a big bucket of dry, tasteless popcorn." I mean, come on, Doc, you're not going to sit here and tell me my leg cramps are due to the butter and salt on my popcorn, are you?
Dr. Mansfield: No.
Mallet: Good. Because that would be kind of silly.
Dr. Mansfield: Actually, how long have you had this mole back here?
Mallet: Um, I don't know. Why, is it bad?
Frank: I can't believe the Spaulding’s own Company now.
Buzz: As long as I don't start getting notes on the menu. Can you imagine?
Coop: Yeah. Like an Alan omelet or Lizzie lasagna?
Frank Spaulding soufflé!
Alan: Well, Coop, you seem to be the money guy in the family. So I guess you and I will be talking about a contract, huh?
Coop: I don't know about that. I mean, this isn't exactly the first one I've had.
Alan: Well, good. Then I'll take advantage of you then.
Buzz: This idea of yours... thank you.
Beth: Coop means... you all mean the world to me. And I know you care about my mother. Look, I know that you don't understand, but the way that Coop makes me feel...
Buzz: Darling, I don't understand. I don’t. But he seems to feel the same way you do. He talks a lot about you. When he first told me about you, I've got to confess, I fought it. I didn’t... I just didn't get it.
Beth: And you do now?
Buzz: Unfortunately, yes, I do. I do understand. But, um... do me a favor? Don't hurt him. He’s... pure, in a way, you know?
Alan: Buzz, may I steal away this brilliant lawyer for a minute?
Buzz: No. I'm just kidding.
Alan: Beth, there is something else you and I have to settle.
Alan: No, no, no. I want you to hear me out. I want you to know that I am not going to ever pressure you again about answering my proposal.
Beth: You're not?
Alan: No. I've done this all wrong. I haven't put your needs first, and I should've.
Beth: So you're taking your proposal back?
Alan: No. Never. I'm more convinced than ever that we are meant to be together. We're going to have an incredible life with each other. But if you're not ready, if you need more time, take it. Because I know when the time is right, you will come back to me.
For one day
I'll be someone else
for one day
someone else for one day...
Coming up on "Guiding Light"...
Marina: Is Mallet okay? Routine physical.
Dr. Mansfield: The back is the most common site for melanoma in men.
Mallet: Are you saying I have skin cancer? I'm a newlywed. I can't have cancer.
Reva: You're not going to tell Marina? Bad idea.
Mallet: It's my job to keep her happy.
Reva: It's your job to respect her.
Mallet: I have to tell you something.
Marina: What's wrong?
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