General Hospital Transcript Monday 5/12/14

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Like a million dollars.

Like a million dollars.

[Cheers and applause]

Epiphany: You're not done yet, boys! Lose those drawers! Underwear! Underwear! Underwear! Underwear! Underwear! Underwear!

Lucy: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, everybody stop chanting, please. Remember what happened -- excuse me, pardon me, hi. [Chuckles] Hey, remember what happened last year? I ended up in my underwear and Richard Simmons tried to kill me? So, guys, you got to get off. No, no! Stop! You got to get off. Go. Shoo. Shoo. You're gonna cause a riot. Go, gentlemen. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. See you soon. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

[Cheers and applause]

Lucy: Bye!

Sonny: Olivia. Can you talk to me?

Olivia: I can't, Sony.

Sonny: Okay, I know you're angry. I know you're hurt. I don't blame you. But I-I promise you, listen, let's just go somewhere else, talk about this. I promise you I'll make it right. Give me another chance. Can you do that?

Olivia: Sonny, I don't want to talk to you.

Lulu: Maxie, I heard you weren't coming, but you did. I'm happy.

Maxie: Me, too.

Lulu: Come here.

Brad: I just watched Lucas and Felix strip together. Can this night get any worse?

Nikolas: I'm really proud of you for stepping up about cam and Emma.

Spencer: Did I just hear my name?

Elizabeth: Nikolas. I thought you weren't coming.

Nikolas: Changed our minds.

Brad: You've got it easy. At least Nikolas isn't here sexing it up with Elizabeth the way Felix and Lucas were doing.

Britt: Well, then, go and do something about it.

Brad: Fine. I will.

Lucy: Ooh! Oh, my gosh, Katie. Fabo dress. Fabo. Excuse me. I got to run. Hi, everybody, again. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you. Oh! Whoo! Thank you so, so very much. Now, we have a very, very special surprise for you this evening. One of Port Charles' favorite sons has agreed to grace us with his presence. Now, he started his road to stardom right here, and we put him on the map. Yes, he did have a bit of a derailment with a short stint in Pentonville, but he's back and he's better than ever, and he's returning to pay his respects to all of us who made him what he is today. I think you know who I'm talking about. Ladies and gentlemen, our very own Blackie parrish! Whoo!

[Cheers and applause]

[Chatter]

Lucy: Um, 'Kay. Guess what? Well, I'm just so sorry, because apparently it appears that, um, Blackie had a little scheduling conflict that he forgot to tell us about. He's really, really far away.

[Audience groans] So, um, we wish our dear Blackie all the best. We do love him, and we do, uh, know that he's part of our Port Charles family, and we hope he visits real soon. But in the meantime, you guys, I promise we have a lot of goodness, a lot of fun, a lot of hot acts to come. So, please, um, just talk among yourselves, and we're gonna rearrange things backstage, just -- okay? I'll be right back, I promise. Thank you for your patience.

[Applause]

Lulu: So, this must be the famous Levi.

Levi: And you must be the even more famous Lulu. Maxie's told me so many great things about you.

Lulu: Well, thank you for dragging Maxie here. This is perfect. One of the women in our number had to drop out. You can fill in for her.

Maxie: No, I can't.

Lulu: Yes, you can. The moves are easy. You can make them up. It'll be fine. It'll be fun.

Maxie: Not for Levi. He doesn't exactly approve of the ball.

Lulu: Oh. Well, I'm sure he understands that it's for a good cause. You'll be fine, Levi. Won't you?

Maxie: I don't know.

Lulu: Aren't we supposed to be starting over? Please do this for our friendship. I'll pick out your costume.

Maxie: No.

Lulu: [Whimpers] You're seriously turning me down?

Maxie: No. I would never let you pick out my costume.

Lulu: [Laughs]

Maxie: I'll meet you backstage.

Lulu: Yes! Okay.

Maxie: Are you sure you're okay with this?

Levi: If that's what you want to do.

Maxie: It is!

Nikolas: Spencer and I have decided to come and show our support.

Cameron: What are you wearing?

Spencer: Oh. This? It's just something I found lying around in Europe.

Cameron: I thought you'd be in your pajamas eating pizza. Seriously, dude, it's great you're here. You wouldn't want to miss my tango with Emma.

Spencer: In fact, that's just why I came. I can't wait.

Ric: Yeah, neither can we. Come on, kids. Let's get moving.

Milo: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

TJ: I'm starving. I haven't eaten anything since 6:00 this morning.

Milo: Got to make sacrifices for your art, Teej.

Maxie: Lulu! Where are you? I'm here to rescue you.

Nathan: What are you doing back here?

Maxie: Uh, Lulu recruited me to perform with her.

Nathan: Ah. So now it's your turn to embarrass yourself.

Maxie: No! I mean, you didn't embarrass yourself. You...were... what are you eating?

Nathan: Yoplait Greek. It was a workout. I need all the protein I can get.

Maxie: Yeah. Protein is good. I'm gonna go find Lulu.

Nathan: I'm looking forward to seeing your moves, Maxie.

Lucas: Cheers. That was...

Felix: Yeah.

Lucas: Whoo.

[Both laugh]

Felix: Um, we should, uh, finish changing our clothes.

Lucas: Yeah, we should get back to the party.

Felix: [Chuckles]

Kiki: [Gasps] How dare you.

Michael: Wh-what's wrong?

Kiki: You're getting dressed. You should never put clothes on this.

Michael: Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you. But I have to get dressed if we're gonna help Ned deal with Luke.

[Cork pops]

Julian: How's the happy groom? That was one hell of a move you orchestrated.

Luke: You're telling me. I bit the bitter bullet and married the bitch. And now I have ELQ in the palm of my hand.

Julian: It was nice work, boss.

Luke: Yeah. Uh, you better take off before the ball and chain arrives.

Julian: Hmm. Cheers to you.

Luke: Thank you. Ah. The dazzling Mrs. Luke Spencer. To you.

Tracy: I can't believe we did this. You promised me a surprise. And you certainly delivered.

Luke: Pleasantly, I hope.

Tracy: Ecstatically.

Luke: Baby.

Ned: Isn't that sweet?

Lucy: Hey, everybody! Great news. We have had a very gallant gentleman step up and agree to take blackie's place. So, please, you're gonna love it. It's very exciting, and he's volunteering, remember? So put your hands together for lab manager Brad cooper! Whoo! Brad cooper!

[Cheers and applause]

[Karmin's "brokenhearted" plays]

Brad: This is more than the typical kinda thing felt the Jones in my bones when you were touching me uh-oh I didn't wanna take it slow in a daze, going crazy I can barely think you're replaying in my brain find it hard to sleep uh-oh I'm waiting for my phone to blow uh-oh, yeah now I'm here in a sticky situation got a little trouble, yep, and now I'm pacing 5 minutes, 10 minutes now it's been an hour don't wanna think too hard, but I'm sour uh-oh I can't seem to let you go yeah see, I've been waiting all day for you to call me, baby so let's get up, let's get on it don't you leave me brokenhearted tonight come on, that's right honest, baby, I'll do anything you want to so can we finish what we started? Don't you leave me brokenhearted tonight come on that's right cheerio what's the time? Such a crime not a single word sipping on a patrón just to calm my nerves uh-oh I'm poppin' bottles by the phone oh, yeah had me up, had me down turn me inside out that's enough, call me up baby, I'm in doubt uh-oh I don't even think you know no, no, no see, I've been waiting all day for you to call me, baby so let's get up, let's get on it don't you leave me brokenhearted tonight come on that's right cheerio, yeah anything you wanna do, I'll be on it, too everything you say is like go with the view business in the front party in the back maybe I was wrong was the outfit really whack? This kinda thing doesn't happen usually I'm on the opposite side of it, truthfully I know you want it, so come and get it cheerio see, I've been waiting all day for you to call me, baby so let's get up, let's get on it don't you leave me brokenhearted tonight come on that's right honest, baby, I'll do anything you want to so can we finish what we started? Don't you leave me brokenhearted tonight come on that's right cheeri, cheeri when you gonna call? Don't leave me brokenhearted I've been waiting up let's finish what we started uh-oh I can't seem to let you go come on that's right cheerio, unh!

[Cheers and applause]

Epiphany: Magic Milo, you disappoint me. I was hoping for the full Monty. That's two years in a row that you have left me wanting more.

Milo: Got to leave something to the imagination.

Epiphany: [Chuckles] Oh, I'll be imagining. Mm!

Tracy: Ned, thank you so much for standing up for me. It means so much to me that you finally believe Luke married me for love and not my money.

Ned: Well, you're right about one thing, mother. Luke did marry you for love and only love. Because he won't be getting a dime out of ELQ.

Tracy: What -- what do you mean?

Ned: Because Luke won't be working there anymore.

Lucas: Thanks, Mom.

Brad: Hey! [Breathlessly] So, what'd you think of my song? Figured I should get in on the action.

Lucas: Yeah. Yeah, it was great.

Brad: Didn't you like the song choice? "Brokenhearted," because, you know, I am since you dumped me. Get it?

Lucas: I got it. But it doesn't change anything, Brad.

Brad: Look, if you just give me a chance.

Lucas: No chance.

Lucy: Whoo! Everybody, we're back, we're back, and I hope you can all gather around for a lot more fun and excitement. Wasn't Brad cooper just amazing? Come on. Yes, Brad! Whoo! Thank you so much. Now, he's gonna be a very, very tough act to follow, but this next act is definitely gonna try. So put your hands together... f-- um, pardon me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Mac: [As Mr. Marbles] Hey, everybody!

Lucy: Mac.

Mac: Hey, Lucy, we got this!

Lucy: No, no, we said we weren't gonna do this. We're not doing this!

Mac: [Normal voice] Hey, if Dr. Obrecht can perform, so can we. [As Mr. Marbles] Yeah!

Lucy: Fine! Okay, ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the dummy!

[Laughter, applause]

Mac: [As Mr. Marbles] I think she means you! So, hey, have you heard what happened to the manicurist and the dentist when they got married? [Normal voice] No, Mr. Marbles, what happened? [As Mr. Marbles] They fought tooth and nail! [Normal voice] [Laughs] [As Mr. Marbles] Hey, and you know -- you know why birds are so grumpy in the morning? [Normal voice] No, Mr. Marbles, why? [As Mr. Marbles] Because their bills are overdue!

[Scattered laughter]

Mac: And you know what? What do you get when you take the middle out of a hot dog?

Epiphany: Enough of this foolishness! Enough! It is time to take you...

[Audience gasps]

Epiphany: And this dummy and put them out of our collective misery!

[Cheers and applause]

Epiphany: My work here is done.

[Chatter]

Felicia: Are you okay?

Mac: [Normal voice] My childhood friend was murdered before my eyes. I can't believe Epiphany would do that. And everyone clapped! You didn't clap, did you? Of course not.

Milo: Nurse Johnson! I mean, Epiphany.

Epiphany: Oh, Magic Milo. Twice in one night. I must be doing something right.

Milo: I just wanted to be the first to shake your hand.

Epiphany: Oh, well, by all means.

Milo: What you did, to have the courage to do what everyone else in that room wanted to do and thought about doing but didn't have the guts to, you've got some cojones.

Epiphany: Oh, well, so do you.

[Both chuckle]

Tracy: Why won't Luke be working at ELQ?

Ned: Because he's just been fired.

Luke: [Chuckles] The only person who can fire me is the C.E.O.

Ned: Yes.

Tracy: That's me.

Ned: No, mother. Not anymore.

Alexis: Jordan, hi, I'm Alexis Davis.

Jordan: Oh!

Alexis: I'm Molly's mom.

Jordan: Lovely to meet you. My son Thomas says great things about you.

Alexis: Oh, well, Molly says that you're very cool, which is very high praise.

Jordan: [Laughs]

Julian: Miss Ashford. Mr. Butler.

Shawn: Julian.

Alexis: That's right. You two know each other. You work together?

Julian: Jordan works more with my sister.

Jordan: Yeah, I'm more on the art side of things.

Britt: You were great.

Brad: Yeah. For all the good it did.

Britt: [Sighs] Look, maybe we should get out of here.

Spencer: Britt! Dad, look! Britt's here! I miss you so much!

Britt: [Sighs] I miss you, too. So much.

Spencer: Let's sit down with an adult beverage and catch up.

Britt: I can't. I-I have to go.

Spencer: Wait! You can't go! You might miss this!

Britt: Miss what?

Spencer: Um, anything exciting that might just happen at the nurses' ball. Come on.

Lucy: Well, well, well, everybody. I am so excited. This next act will definitely give magic Milo and his wands a run for their abracadabra.

[Laughter]

Lucy: So, get ready. Welcome our very own very hot dancers, the haunted starlets.

[Cheers and applause]

[Icona pop's "I love it" plays]

I got this feeling on the summer day when you were gone I crashed my car into the bridge I watched, I let it burn I threw your stuff into a bag and pushed it down the stairs I crashed my car into the bridge I don't care I love it I don't care I got this feeling on the summer day when you were gone I crashed my car into the bridge I watched, I let it burn I threw your stuff into a bag and pushed it down the stairs I crashed my car into the bridge I don't care I love it I don't care I love it, I love it I don't care I love it I don't care you're on a different road I'm in the milky way you want me down on earth but I am up in space you're so damn hard to please we gotta kill this switch you're from the '70s but I'm a '90s bitch I love it I love it I got this feeling on the summer day when you were gone I crashed my car into the bridge I watched, I let it burn I threw your stuff into a bag and pushed it down the stairs I crashed my car into the bridge I don't care I love it I don't care I love it, I love it I don't care I love it I don't care you're on a different road I'm in the milky way you want me down on earth but I am up in space you're so damn hard to please we gotta kill this switch you're from the '70s but I'm a '90s bitch I don't care I love it I don't care I love it, I love it I don't care I love it I don't care I love it, I love it I don't care I love it

[Cheers and applause]

Luke: Of course Tracy's still ELQ's C.E.O.

Ned: Afraid not. The board just held a vote. Ousted her.

Tracy: What vote? I didn't know anything about a vote.

Ned: You didn't need to know, mother. All we needed was a quorum and enough votes to remove you from office, both of which we had.

Tracy: You voted against me?

Ned: Yes. As did Dillon, among others, and brook Lynn. I have a list right here.

Tracy: How could you do this to me?

Ned: I didn't want to, but I needed a new C.E.O. in place in order to fire Luke.

Tracy: What C.E.O., what backstabbing traitor replaced me?!

Michael: I did.

Jordan: Just loved that last number. I was dancing in my seat. What's the matter? You used to appreciate my moves.

Shawn: Yeah, that was a long time ago.

Lucy: This next artist I am so excited to introduce, and we have Lulu Falconeri to thank for this. Thank you very much. He comes in town on tour and does perform at the haunted star. So, listen, his name is new to you, but you're gonna love him, and he did this just because he wanted to contribute to our wonderful cause. So please -- I'm so excited -- put your hands together for Eddie Gomez!

[Cheers and applause]

["Criminal love" plays]

Eddie Gomez: Mm, mm, mm mm, mm, mm, yeah if I knew then what I knew now I wouldn't be stuck in this rut right now with you in my face telling me you need a little space and even through the things we put each other through I swear that I never saw the end with you with you, yeah we'd always make it worse before we made it work that's just how we were yeah 'cause we had criminal love criminal love we would only fight just to always make up it's criminal it's criminal, yeah criminal love criminal love we would only fight just to always make love it's criminal it's criminal, yeah even if I slow down, you wouldn't stick around still be walking away chasing all that ground were you ever mine? Or was I just a waste of time? 'Cause even when we yell, the things were never meant all the times we fought, did we ever make sense? You were never mine how was I so blind? We'd always make it worse before we made it work that's just how we were 'cause we had criminal love criminal love we would only fight just to always make up it's criminal it's criminal, yeah criminal love criminal love we would only fight just to always make love it's criminal it's criminal, yeah I thought that it was worth the pain so I let you play again I swore that we would always stay in love but I found the will to try I can't admit the love is dying I won't accept we wasted time on us 'cause we had criminal love criminal love we would only fight just to always make up it's criminal it's criminal, yeah criminal love criminal love we would only fight just to always make love it's criminal it's criminal, yeah

[Cheers and applause]

Alexis: Thank you.

Julian: Well, it looks like Sony and Olivia are having problems.

Alexis: You don't really expect me to comment on that, do you?

Julian: Well, I guess not everyone can be as happy as I am.

[Glasses clink]

Alexis: Nice.

Lucas: My dad looks pretty happy.

Felix: Hmm. Can't say the same for you. So, uh, Brad sang that song "Brokenhearted" for you.

Lucas: So he says. But Brad's been known to lie. A lot.

Felix: I got to ask you, man. How do you feel about him? I mean, after all that he's done?

Spencer: Stay here. I'll get drinks.

Britt: Still the same Spencer. [Chuckles]

Nikolas: Yep.

Britt: [Sighs] How are you doing?

Nikolas: Me? I'm fine, okay. [Clears throat]

Britt: So, Elizabeth is with her ex-husband?

Nikolas: No. She and I are just friends. She can do as she pleases.

Britt: Oh.

Nikolas: Do you really think I could move on that easily? That I could just jump in to something with Elizabeth just like that? I wish I could. But it's not that easy for me.

Britt: Yeah, I know the feeling.

Lucy: Ladies and gentlemen, hello!

[Cheers and applause]

Lucy: Oh! Thank you! [Chuckles] Thank you, thank you, thank you. Well, last year, Anna Devane and Duke Lavery blissed us out with their sexy, sexy tango. I think we can all agree it was quite sublime. [Chuckles]

[Applause]

Lucy: Well, well, now, if imitation is the most sincere form of flattery and the highest, then I hope you consider this a very great compliment.

Britt: Is something wrong?

Nikolas: Where's Spencer? He wanted to see this.

Lucy: ...Excited to present our tiny tango twosome. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Emma drake and Cameron Webber.

[Cheers and applause]

[Tango playing]

[Laughter]

[Music turns off]

[Audience gasps]

[Microphone feedback]

Elizabeth: What's going on?

Spencer: Emma and Cameron, I'm sorry to interrupt your dance. You two were fantastic. But, Emma drake, this song is for you. Ladies and gentlemen, presenting player!

[Cheers and applause]

["Baby Come Back" performed by Player!]

Britt: How? Did you help him?

Nikolas: [Scoffs]

Cameron: You messed up our tango.

Spencer: I regret that, but I had to do something bold and beautiful to try and make up with you.

Emma: You did this all for me?

Spencer: Yes, I did.

Cameron: Come on, Emma. Let's go.

Emma: I want to hear the rest of the song.

Spending all my nights, all my money going out on the town doing anything just to get you off of my mind when the morning comes, I'm right back where I started again trying to forget you is just a waste of time baby, come back any kind of fool could see there was something in everything about you baby, come back Ba-a-a-ck You can blame it all on me I was wrong and I just can't live without you all day long, I'm wearing a mask of false bravado trying to keep up a smile that hides a tear ohh, ah but as the sun goes down, I get that empty feeling again how I wish to God you were here baby, come back any kind of fool could see there was something in everything about you baby, come back Ba-a-a-ck You can blame it all on me I was wrong and I just can't live without you now that I put it all together give me a chance to make you see Eeee Have you used up all the love in your heart?

Ronn: Nothing left for me Is there nothing left for me? Baby, come back Oh, darling Any kind of fool could see there was something in everything about you baby, come back Listen, baby You can blame it all on me I was wrong and I just can't live without you I was wrong and I just can't live

[Electric guitar solo]

[Cheers and applause]

Sonny: Olivia. Wait. Can we just talk? Will you talk to me?

Olivia: [Sighs]

Luke: Michael, how could you do this to me and Tracy? We're family.

Michael: Yeah, maybe you should have thought about that before you starting groping my girlfriend.

Tracy: Is that what this is about? Michael, Kiki was lying to Ned about Luke, and she's lying to you.

Kiki: Well, someone's lying here.

Michael: And it's not Kiki.

Kiki: You know what, Michael? This sleaze in the room is really creeping me out. Why don't we get out of here?

Ned: Mother, I'm sorry it had to be this way, but Luke forced my hand. I would do anything to protect our family's legacy. You know that.

Luke: We'll fight them. They can't take away your company.

Tracy: They can, and they did. It's okay. We still have each other. [Sighs]

Nikolas: How in the hell did Spencer pull that off? [Scoffs]

Spencer: Thanks, Mr. Moss. I really appreciate you coming on such short notice.

Ronn: We're happy we could do it, right, guys?

Yep. Rock on, little dude. Here's a pick for you.

Spencer: Thanks.

Here you go, dude.

Spencer: Cool!

Ronn: I would do anything for your grandma Lesley, you know that? Because she's what we call a real peach.

Spencer: That she is. And by the way, I really love your new CD.

Ronn: Thank you, my friend. I want to wish you good luck. I hope you get your girlfriend back.

Spencer: Me, too.

Emma: Cameron, I need to change. I'll see you in the ballroom.

Cameron: Okay.

Emma: Spencer?

Spencer: Emma, come back! You can blame it all on me! I was wrong, and I just can't live without you!

Nikolas: I knew Spencer was up to something, but I can't believe he did something this extreme to try and win Emma back.

Britt: I can.

Elizabeth: I should go check on Cameron. He can't be happy about this.

Ric: Elizabeth, hold on. Wait a minute. Just -- just hear me out.

Nikolas: I should go find him.

Britt: Nikolas, Spencer did what he did because he was desperate for forgiveness. So am I.

Ric: We had something once, and I screwed it up.

Elizabeth: Ric --

Ric: But what we had was -- was special. Don't throw it away. Please. Give me another chance.

Britt: I screwed up. I know that. But I miss you. I can't tell you how much I miss you. I-I love you, Nikolas. Are you ever going to forgive me?

Felix: Couldn't help but notice, uh, Brad giving you puppy-dog eyes during that song.

Lucas: Mm-hmm.

Bobbie: It looks like my son is getting back with his ex.

Felicia: What happened to your ex? Isn't he your date?

Bobbie: Oh.

Lucy: Scott, what are you doing here?

Scott: I'm here 'cause you made the wrong choice. You chose Kevin. I want you to choose me.

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