General Hospital Transcript Wednesday 7/1/09
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Proofread By Kathy
Nikolas: So I don't want to put any pressure on you to answer me right away, but just so I'm clear, you don't absolutely hate the idea of living with me, right?
Rebecca: Nikolas, what girl wouldn't want to live in a beautiful castle on an island with a prince? Come on, it's a dream come true.
Nikolas: Then why does it feel like you're about to turn me down anyway?
Rebecca: Because as good as this feels and as tempted as I am to move in with you, I think you're going to end up regretting it.
Elizabeth: I appreciate the warning about long lost relatives.
Ethan: Well, all I'm saying is that just because someone shares your DNA, it doesn't mean you actually know them.
Elizabeth: Coming from you, that kind of sounds like a confession. Is there something that's keeping you in Port Charles other than the fact that you're Luke's son?
Sonny: I will die before I let Michael throw away his life, but I've made my choices and I have to live with what I've done. But I'll tell you one thing. I will not lose my son to this violent business.
Claudia: Jax got me here under false pretenses. He wants a favor and he's pressuring me. Go ahead, Jax. Tell your wife what you want and how you want me to give it to you.
Nikolas: It seems like you're anticipating some amorphous regret that I might have in the future.
Rebecca: I'm just weighing the pros and the cons. I'm sure that's a foreign concept to someone who's used to changing his mind any time and just have an entire staff ready to handle all the details.
Nikolas: Wow. If that's really the way you see me, no wonder you're hesitating to move in with me.
Rebecca: Seriously, Nikolas, have you given any thought to the reasons why it might be a bad idea for me to live here?
Nikolas: I absolutely did, and I couldn't think of any.
Rebecca: This is the place where my twin sister lived with you.
Nikolas: Yes, I know that, too. She was very happy here, and so could you.
Rebecca: Okay, I can't take her place.
Nikolas: Don't see it that way.
Rebecca: Other people will.
Nikolas: Don't care what other people think.
Rebecca: What will your son think?
Nikolas: He'll understand. He's a very generous, loving boy.
Rebecca: I'm sure he is.
Nikolas: I want you to meet him, I really do, but I just can't bring him home until the immediate threat from Helena is over.
Rebecca: But when he does come home, he's going to get to meet the new woman in his daddy's life and his bed. And, oh, by the way, she looks just like Emily, who happens to be the closest thing he's ever had to a mother --
Nikolas: I am willing to deal with that, as I've showed you time and time again. So it makes me wonder, maybe you're worried about your own regrets.
Ethan: You know, it's difficult for any con to admit that he's been taken. Well, don't look so surprised. I wouldn't even admit it to myself if I wasn't getting hammered.
Elizabeth: Well, you've pretty much admitted to being a hustler.
Ethan: I'm proud of it. You know, except for letting Holly Sutton set me up. You know, she dangled Luke Spencer in front of me. I took the bait. I mean, why wouldn't I want to learn at the feet of the master? But unfortunately, she neglected to mention the part where he's my father and she is my mummy.
Elizabeth: And that's the part I don't understand. If she wanted you to know about Luke, why didn't she just tell you?
Ethan: Who cares? You know, she's gone. So is Luke, and I'm left here all alone with Lucky, my long lost big brother who can't stand the sight of me.
Elizabeth: Ethan, you came as a shock to all of us. It's one of those things that, you know, we just have to get used to.
Ethan: You know, I think Luke had the right idea -- to hell with it all and hit the road. That would make Lucky happy.
Elizabeth: Lucky's issues with his dad started way before you showed up.
Ethan: Ah, but I'm a reminder that his father cheated on his mother.
Elizabeth: But that's not your fault. And I don't think Lucky would get any satisfaction out of making you leave town. He's not a perfect man, but he's fair.
Ethan: I don't know about that, but I do know that you are a stunning, stand-up woman. So you tell me, should I stick it out here or should I hit the road?
Alexis: Come on in, guys. Sorry about the mess. After that insidious one nighter, I'm certain that they are going to make me farm out half my cases to the ADAs, and might I add, he wasn't worth it.
Patrick: Your relationship with the mayor was way before this Brianna Hughes mess.
Alexis: Nothing as mundane as facts will deter the media frenzy.
Robin: This is so wrong. Especially, since it may have all been for nothing.
Patrick: We don't know that yet.
Alexis: Know what?
Patrick: Robin's developing a theory that further complicates things.
Robin: I mean, if Spinelli's right, when things look tidy, there's usually something wrong.
Alexis: You know, it's been a really long day, so forgive me. I'm not following you.
Robin: It's possible the mayor didn't kill Brianna Hughes.
Jax: Well, I wanted Claudia to help us get Michael out of Sonny's house.
Carly: Well, that's what I want to talk to you about. I spoke to the Quartermaines.
Jax: Yeah, Edward called. He's already getting Michael's computer system set up. Instead of arguing with Sonny about Michael moving to the Quartermaines, I thought that we could get some inside help.
Carly: Claudia wouldn't spit on us if we were on fire. Besides, she needs to keep Michael close so she can work Sonny.
Claudia: There's a lot you don't understand about Michael's situation and specifically, Jax's involvement in it.
Sonny: People assume that Michael means less to me because he's not my biological son, but they could not be more wrong. He means more to me than you can imagine, and I know you know that.
Jason: This isn't about how --
Sonny: Yes, okay, wait a minute. Don't start -- no because it is. For a long time, I didn't even know if I wanted children because all I knew was what I learned from Deke, and I didn't want to be that -- cold, abusive, angry. Michael showed me how to break the cycle. So I am a better man because of my son.
Jason: You don't have to convince me.
Sonny: As far as I'm concerned, he's my first-born. And I know you're not supposed to play favorites with your children, but we have a connection. He needs me. And more than that, I need him. And I learned that when he was away for that time, and I can't -- you know what? This is where he's got to be. You know that, right?
Jason: Yeah, I understand that, but we're not talking about a feeling.
Sonny: Okay, no, no, no. He belongs with his father.
Jason: He shouldn't be in this house. And I think you know that.
Alexis: Are you telling me that I just made a highly public arrest of the wrong man?
Alexis: Okay, you guys stay here. I'm going to go slit my wrists, and I don't want to get blood all over you.
Patrick: Alexis, hey, before you go sharpen the blade, will you just hear us out?
Robin: First of all, this is my fault. I wanted so badly for Patrick and Matt to be exonerated from this stupid malpractice suit that I pushed for Mayor Floyd to be arrested before I did all my homework.
Alexis: But there was evidence, right? That there was substantial sums of money transferred into Brianna Hughes' account?
Patrick: Spinelli hacked into Brianna's accounts, yes.
Alexis: Too much information.
Patrick: But it points towards Brianna blackmailing the mayor.
Robin: Right. And we all thought that Mayor Floyd killed Brianna to shut her up and then tried to make it look like an accident.
Alexis: Robin, do you or Spinelli have evidence to the contrary?
Patrick: And Spinelli only has a P.I. handbook he got online that says the first suspect is never the guilty party.
Robin: And as improbable as it sounds, I really believed Mayor Floyd when he said he was in love with Brianna. So I think it's possible that somebody else killed her, but don't ask me who because I don't know yet.
Elizabeth: I'm guessing you're not in the right frame of mind to be making life altering decisions.
Ethan: Well, that's exactly why I'm leaving it in your lovely hands.
Elizabeth: Relationships can be difficult even when things are going well. I know you can walk away, spare yourself a lot of heartache, make your life less complicated, probably have it a little less interesting. But I don't know, if you stick with it, maybe it'll be worth it. Only you can decide.
Ethan: You know, my life was great. All I needed was a little extra pocket change to buy me the freedom to travel the world. And suddenly I'm here. Suddenly I'm a Spencer. And to add insult to injury, I'm broke.
Elizabeth: I'm sure you'll fix that in no time.
Ethan: I don't recognize myself anymore. I want a connection to someone who knew me before I was Luke's son, you know, someone to hold on to.
Elizabeth: Sounds like you have that someone in mind.
Ethan: No, no, ignore me. I'm stammering drunk.
Elizabeth: No, it's okay because I understand. You just want things to go back to how they were before. And I'm here to tell you that I've tried and it can't be done.
Ethan: Well, thanks anyway.
Elizabeth: It's the least I can do. I happen to be part of this dysfunctional family that now you're stuck with. And this is a perfect time to call you a cab. Please, don't argue with me. It's a matter of keeping my own conscience clear. Come on.
Spinelli: There was much valuable data on the Jackal's personal digital assistant.
Maxie: How could you lose it, Spinelli? That's so not like you.
Spinelli: Maximista was a torturous distraction. One can only hope that a kindly patron found it and returned it to the soul man.
Spinelli: The scruffy, but oddly endearing proprietor.
Maxie: Okay, whatever. How about you tell me more about this whole courtly love thing? What does it involve aside from us not having sex?
Coleman: I bet you are looking for this. You know what, gorgeous? I've been looking for you.
Carly: I wouldn't believe one word out of your lying mouth about Jax or anyone else. So why don't you get your miserable, skanky butt out of here?
Claudia: Don't call me again. I have no reason to help you, ever.
Jax: I can't ever remember hating a woman as much as I hate that one.
Carly: I like it when we agree. Why would you ever call her and ask her for help?
Jax: It just feels like I'm the reason that Michael can't be home with you.
Carly: Jax, you're not.
Jax: Well, it looks like I'm tossing Michael to the wolves to protect our unborn child. I mean, this is what it feels like to me. It can't be further from the truth. You know that.
Carly: I know.
Jax: I just -- if something happens to Michael while he's staying at Sonny's --
Carly: No, no, no. Okay, nothing is going to happen. We're going to do whatever we have to do to get Michael away from Sonny.
Jason: When Michael was a baby, I was the father that he knew until I realized that being with me was hurting him. So the best way for me to love him was to give him up.
Sonny: I know you still blame me for what happened to Michael, for getting shot --
Jason: Michael got shot because of all of us, Sonny. We are all responsible. We wanted him to close. We let our guard down. We bought into the delusion that we could keep him safe.
Sonny: I just got him back. How do I let him go?
Michael: Don't do it, Dad, please. Please, don't send me away.
Rebecca: We're still at the beginning. It's all new and exciting and full of surprises.
Nikolas: And you're afraid that living together will suddenly make it old and dull and predictable?
Rebecca: No, living together is going to invite all sorts of scrutiny and analysis from a lot of people who don't even know me. I don't want to worry about being under a microscope. If I'm going to be with you, then I just want to be with you.
Nikolas: But taking this step will show all those people that they can have whatever opinion they want and it won't affect us.
Rebecca: Oh, whatever, Nikolas. In their eyes, I'm always going to be competing with a ghost.
Nikolas: Not in my eyes. The very first time you spent the night with me, you asked me what I wanted. What did I say?
Rebecca: That you wanted me to fall asleep in your arms and wake up and have me still be there.
Nikolas: And that's what we did. It felt right, didn't it?
Nikolas: So why does it have to be just for one night?
Rebecca: You're such a hard one to say no to.
Nikolas: Then say yes.
[Cell phone rings]
Nikolas: It's okay. It might be the hospital. You should get it.
Ethan: What are you doing?
Rebecca: Yes, this is Rebecca Shaw.
Ethan: I'm in your room. Meet me here in 15 minutes.
Rebecca: I wasn't scheduled for tonight. I already made plans.
Ethan: 15 minutes. Don't make me come out there and get you.
Robin: I keep going over the day that Patrick and I were called to the hotel room, and Mayor Floyd seemed genuinely concerned.
Alexis: Of course he was. He doesn't want to be caught sleeping with a member of his staff.
Robin: No, I mean he seemed worried about Brianna. He didn't look or sound like a man who had just killed someone.
Alexis: He's a politician. He lies for a living.
Robin: I know that you've been exposed, and I'm sorry that it may have been for nothing. I wouldn't blame you if you were furious with me.
Alexis: Why? You didn't sleep with him. Look, I want justice. I don't want him punished for something that he didn't do if he didn't do it. But if he did, I want him to pay for it. That's great. It's another mess I have to clean up.
Coleman: See, I've always wanted someone like you.
Maxie: You're kidding.
Coleman: No, I know your type. When I used to work the velvet rope line at the private clubs, you're exactly the kind of hottie I'd pick out from the crowd. Now, I'm right, aren't I? Maxie, come on. Now that you work for that magazine, you're exactly what I need.
Spinelli: Excuse me; I will not tolerate soul man treating Maximista like a meat market morsel. Have a little respect or feel the Jackal's wrath.
Coleman: Dude, I'm just looking for advice on, you know, how to up the business around here. I mean, your lady, your fair lady, has her finger on the pulse of the millenials with disposal income.
Maxie: Coleman's right. I've never met a velvet rope I couldn't talk my way through. It's my job to know what's cool.
Coleman: You see, I'm looking for folks that drink a lot and spend more.
Spinelli: If I might be so bold, you would do well to foster a setting of heightened romance in your establishment.
Johnny: This damn well better be an emergency, Claudia.
Claudia: Judging by your mood and your stench, I guess I pulled you away from Olivia. What do you see in that whore, John? I don't get it -- hey. Jax is trying to blackmail me. He knows that I'm responsible for getting Michael shot.
Jax: While I never imagined that you would want Michael to live with the Quartermaines, I do support you.
Carly: I can't believe it myself, but it's the right place for him right now.
Jax: Yeah, assuming Sonny doesn't get it in the way.
Carly: We don't have another alternative. Michael is so afraid he's going to have another big outburst in front of me or Morgan, and Sonny's place isn't safe right now, especially if there's about to be another mob war. As much as it kills me to send him to the Quartermaines, it's the safest place for him.
Jax: Is there anything I can do to help?
Carly: You know I so appreciate that you tried to manipulate Claudia into doing the right thing, but, I mean, it was kind of a waste of time. I'm going to have to go talk to Sonny and Michael myself, face them head on, and just deal with the fall out.
Michael: I get that you're trying to protect me, but I don't want to leave my dad.
Jason: I know you don't.
Michael: Jason is trying to guilt you into giving me up. You can't listen to him, Dad. Forget Mom. Forget Jason. It's you and me.
Michael: I heard what you and Jason were saying.
Sonny: And you know I love you, right?
Michael: I'm your firstborn child. What you said about our connection, it's real.
Michael: And I'm sick of everybody blaming you for what happened to me. It's not your fault.
Sonny: It is my fault. Everything was my fault. Let's put -- you know --
Michael: I want to stay here.
Sonny: There's nothing that I want more in the world for you to be here. I prayed every night for you to wake up, to come back to me. But I have to stop thinking about myself, and I have to think about you.
Michael: Don't do this, Dad.
Sonny: This is the best thing for you. I don't care what we wish. It's too dangerous right now in this house for you.
Michael: I belong here. You said it yourself.
Sonny: I'm not going to put you at risk. I'm telling you this as your father, and I love you, but you can't live in this house anymore.
Claudia: That bastard Jerry Jax told his brother that I put the hit out on Sonny and that I'm responsible for getting Michael shot.
Johnny: Obviously, Jax kept his mouth shut, or else you and I would be six feet under by now.
Claudia: Well, he doesn't exactly want Carly to know on account of she's having this whole risky pregnancy.
Johnny: Okay, then why did you see fit to drag me out here?
Claudia: A little support would be nice, John. Hey, how many people can know about a secret before it's not a secret anymore?
Johnny: Okay, you know what, Claudia? I was the one that told you months ago to bail, to get out of here, and you didn't. Now it's too late. And you're pregnant with Sonny's kid or Ric's kid. Whose baby is it, anyway?
Claudia: That's funny.
Johnny: Yeah. I'm up to my neck now in Sonny's business, so our only hope is to ride this out and have faith that it's in everybody's best interest that whoever is responsible for what happened to Michael stays a secret.
Spinelli: In the best tradition of the bard Emily Dickinson, Pablo Neruda -- poetry is the most effective way to woo and win a woman's heart.
Coleman: Okay, the moon in June and all that crap, right. I'm thinking more along the lines of girls in thongs dancing on the bar.
Maxie: Ooh, or in cages.
Coleman: Go-go girls.
Maxie: So vintage. I love it.
Spinelli: That is the antithesis of courtly love. I'm talking about the ways to stir a woman's soul.
Maxie: No, romance is fine, Spinelli, in its place, but this is a bar. And people who go to a club, they want to have fun.
Spinelli: And by fun, I assume you mean binge drinking and random hook-ups? No, no, no. We need to elevate this place to a higher level of cool, the art of love expressed through poetry and song.
Maxie: Not everyone is as cool as you, and I'm not sure Jake's is the place for kicking it old school.
Spinelli: Ye of little faith.
Coleman: Whoa, hey, I don't have insurance for that, man.
Spinelli: "Doubt that the stars are fire doubt that the sun doth move doubt truth to be a liar but never doubt my love."
Coleman: A bit weird, but might be on to something.
Diane: I have been saving this for just such an occasion.
Alexis: I'm guessing you heard.
Diane: Well, it's the lead story on all the local news stations. And I wouldn't go online if I were you. There's a very spirited debate among the bloggers as to whether or not the lady D.A. who slept with her married boss deserves o keep her job.
Alexis: You do it. I'm too tempted to jam it through my veins.
Alexis: So what's the consensus?
Diane: The consensus is that there is now a double standard. It seems that when a man has an affair, it's just a simple moral lapse in judgment. But when it's a woman, off with her head.
Alexis: So maybe I should have my suit jackets embroidered with a big red "A."
Diane: The power of our sexuality still strikes fear into their tiny black hearts.
Alexis: Sweet. There's going to be a bad scandal, and I have a feeling it's just getting started.
Lulu: Is this a bad time? I hate to interrupt you when you're brooding.
Nikolas: No, no, actually, I have the rest of the evening to meet my quota.
Nikolas: Although, that wasn't the plan.
Lulu: You were stood up.
Nikolas: No, duty called, thank you.
Lulu: Oh, well, sorry. I hate it when that happens. Are you okay?
Nikolas: Oh, yeah, great. Better than great, actually. Though, I don't think you will agree with me. In fact, I suspect you'll think I'm crazy.
Lulu: Well, actually, I have a very high threshold for crazy these days. I don't think there's anything that you could say that would shock me.
Nikolas: I asked Rebecca to move in with me.
Lulu: Except for that.
Ethan: Five, four, three, two, one.
Rebecca: What the hell is wrong with you?
Ethan: I'm impressed by the accuracy of your timing. See, I was going to give you a five minute grace period. At which point, I would venture out to Wyndemere.
Rebecca: Oh, cute. You're drunk.
Ethan: Oh, sweet. You noticed.
Rebecca: Nikolas was right there when you called, Ethan. You could have blown us both right out of the water.
Ethan: Would that be so bad?
Rebecca: This was your plan. You're the one who convinced me to go through with this. When did you stop caring about the money?
Ethan: I think you're the one who stopped caring about the money and the revenge and all those lovely little things that brought you to Port Charles to begin with. I think you've decided that you want to take your dead sister's place for real.
Michael: I can't be at Mom's while she's pregnant. We fight. I can't help it. You know, I don't mean to, but I already almost knocked her on the ground.
Sonny: You're not going back to your mom's.
Michael: You wouldn't seriously send me to the Quartermaines. You hate them.
Carly: You told him? Michael, your father and I think that this would be best.
Michael: What, is he here as backup in case I refused to go?
Sonny: Okay, look, I'm not going to be able to take you to the Quartermaines because I think it's going to get ugly, and you don't need that. Jason is going to take --
Carly: Jax and I can take you, Michael. It's okay.
Michael: No, I'd rather go with Jason.
Jax: Michael, if you're going to be mad at someone, you should be mad at me.
Michael: No, you and Jason, I mean, even Dad -- you guys are all the same. You do whatever Mom wants.
Carly: What I want is for you to live with me. But I have to understand that's not what you want right now, so this would be the compromise.
Michael: I can't fight all you guys, so I may as well do it. But I hate all of this.
Carly: Hey, you can hate me, but I'll never stop loving you.
Diane: So a funny thing happened on the way to the woman litigator of the year award ceremony last year.
Alexis: You got kicked off a plane or you held a bunch of bikers up at gunpoint.
Diane: Hey, those boys turned out to be excellent company and proved to be remarkably good dancers once you got to know them. Which is, coincidentally, how I got to know you. And that brings me to my point. You, Alexis, are a rare breed. You are smart and tough and independent and you're a hell of a litigator. In short, you are my equal. So believe me when I tell you that I know what it took to get where you are -- the struggle for recognition, the petty jealousies of lesser mortals, not mention the very real sacrifices that you've had to make.
Alexis: Which I promptly gave up for one night of lousy sex with Garrett Floyd.
Diane: What were you thinking?
Alexis: I wasn't, obviously. I just found out my husband was sleeping with my daughter. I was having chemo. I was high on medical marijuana. My self-esteem was very low and he was nice to me. That's all it took.
Diane: Comfort sex while stoned. Next time make a mug of hot cocoa.
Alexis: I would have enjoyed that a lot more. Anyway, we agreed never to mention it again.
Diane: Yet another campaign promise broken.
Alexis: I don't think that it would have come up again if Brianna Hughes hadn't died. And when he blackmailed me, believe me, I could see how scared he was.
Diane: I was wondering why you were working so hard to protect the bastard. Why didn't you come to me?
Alexis: Because I was too humiliated to even have you know that I was stupid enough to be blackmailed. I mean, one bad choice just led to another one.
Diane: So what now, girlfriend?
Alexis: It's out, nothing to hide. We rebuild.
Diane: Perfect, because I know this really cute carpenter. He's got a little tool belt and everything. Here's to rebuilding. You don't happen to have any more of that --
Lulu: Who am I to judge? If Rebecca is who makes you happy, then I'm all for it.
Nikolas: I appreciate that. I'm not sure you mean it, but I appreciate it.
Lulu: Well, I trust you to know what's best for your own life.
Nikolas: Wow, that's refreshing. Thank you. See, I thought you were coming out here to warn me about all the reasons why it's weird and wrong and dangerous to be with Rebecca.
Lulu: Yeah, actually, I came out here because I wanted to talk to you about Ethan.
Nikolas: Really. What's he done this time?
Lulu: No, it's not him. It's actually the rest of us. I don't think that we've really welcomed him with open arms. Lucky has been openly hostile and Dad has disappeared. And I think that is what has thrown Ethan completely back. I think he thought he finally found a real connection, and then Dad disappeared like a bat out of hell.
Nikolas: It sounds a lot like the way everyone has been treating Rebecca, like she has done something wrong, like she can actually help the circumstances of her childhood, you know? It must be hard on both of them.
Rebecca: It's obvious you're upset about something. I'm going to take an educated guess here and say that you're finding family life less than ideal? Yeah. Okay, so you shouldn't have gotten drunk and put our whole plan in jeopardy.
Ethan: I need you tonight.
Rebecca: What you need is to sleep it off.
Ethan: Let's just be clear. Nikolas is the mark, right? He's the one you manipulate, not me. I'm the one you're with.
Rebecca: You're the one who isn't thinking clearly.
Ethan: I need someone to hold on to, okay? Someone I can trust. And if that's not you, then I don't owe you anything. And I can endear myself to a lot of very rich people if I tell them you're about to take them all on a wild ride. The truth might set me free.
Rebecca: Nothing has changed between us.
Ethan: Prove it.
Rebecca: Okay, hey, why don't you let me do that?
Ethan: I've missed you. We're still a team on this, okay? We're still a team. You know that, right?
Rebecca: Yeah, well, you're the one who's supposed to be the experienced professional, Ethan. You said this scam was going to be a piece of cake. Turns out I'm the one doing all the hard work. And it's way more complicated than I expected.
Rebecca: Way more complicated.
Claudia: Your bodyguard told me Michael just left.
Sonny: Yeah, he's moving to the Quartermaines'.
Claudia: Oh, no mystery whose idea that was.
Sonny: Carly is right about this one.
Claudia: How do you feel about it?
Sonny: How do I feel about it? I hate it.
Claudia: I think Carly just couldn't stand the fact that Michael was actually happy here with us. I know that she's the mother of your two boys. She's not very generous, Sonny.
Sonny: Regardless of her motivation, she's right about this one.
Claudia: I'm going to tell you something, okay? I'm never going to do that to you. When I have the amnio and you realize this baby is yours, I'm never going to try to take your kid from you.
Carly: Well, we just got back from your dad's.
Morgan: When is Michael coming back home?
Jax: He's going to live with the Quartermaines.
Morgan: Well, that's not fair. I mean, at least if Michael is at Dad's, I'd get to see him.
Carly: Hey, you know what? It's only temporary while Michael is healing from his surgery. And you can go see him whenever you want. I'm sure they would love that. And it's part of the deal.
Morgan: How temporary?
Jax: Well, I'm not exactly sure.
Carly: Not long. By the time this baby is born, Michael is going to be back with us.
Michael: Man, this house is bigger than Dad's.
Jason: Yeah, when you were little, I had to bring you here. I was convinced that the Quartermaines were the worst people on earth, but I was wrong. They're not perfect, but they've always loved you.
Edward: Alice, where in God's name did you hide my glasses? Oh, Jason, why didn't you call first? Welcome, son.
Michael: Uh, your pocket.
Michael: Your glasses?
Edward: Oh, thank you. Monica, Tracy, come here. Come here. Where is everybody? Come here. Come on, I want to show you the living room. We can make -- you can leave that here. Somebody will undo it for you. We are so happy to have you here. This is the foyer and --
Tracy: Daddy, if you'd install an intercom, you wouldn't have to yell!
Monica: What is the matter, Edward? What is this going on? For heaven's sakes, where is Alice? Oh, Jason, thank you so much for bringing Michael. It is so good to have you here.
Tracy: Another bundle on our doorstep.
Edward: That attitude will not be tolerated, Tracy. Michael is a member of the family now and he will be treated accordingly.
Tracy: That's exactly what I was doing.
Edward: You welcome him with open arms or you'll find another place to live.
Tracy: You can't kick me out of this house.
Monica: No, I can, Tracy. If you keep this up, I will.
Jason: Stop, stop, all of you. Just give him some time to get used to it here. Michael, if you can't stand this place, don't do anything stupid. You call me, first.
Edward: Michael is going to be fine. And I can't wait to show you ELQ.
Monica: Jason, can you stay for dinner?
Jason: You know what? I'm sorry, I can't.
Edward: Are you hungry, son? Or do you want to see your room first? Those I.T. fellows were here this afternoon with --
Monica: Edward, Edward.
Monica: Let the boy get his bearings, will you, please?
Tracy: I have such a bad feeling about this.
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