General Hospital Transcript Thursday 12/18/08
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Proofread By Kathy
Luke: Sheath your scalpel, Doctor. There are things I need to say to my wife.
Monica: Ex-wife. She isn't family anymore, and technically, she shouldn't even be here.
Luke: Tracy, don't move.
Leyla: He's going into v-tach.
Luke: Wait, wait -- wait, just wait.
Monica: If we wait in your condition, you could die. Sedate him.
Luke: You sedate me, and I'll punch your lights out. You can't do this.
Bo: Who put you in charge, Cassadine? We're Raylene's family, and we want to hear her last will and testament.
Vance: These are my sister's dying wishes.
Nikolas: I just find it hard to believe. You inherit millions, and she gets an envelope. That's --
Nadine: Nikolas, please donít.
Nikolas: No, I saw how much she loved you. I saw that firsthand.
Nadine: She wanted me to have an envelope.
Attorney: Are you saying there is something irregular with the will?
Sam: Ow! Ow!
Luke: No offense, Dr. Quartermaine, but the last time you sliced me open, I very nearly kicked the bucket.
Monica: Well, I was grieving the loss of my daughter and my husband.
Luke: Yes, and Tracy almost had to grieve the loss of her old man.
Monica: Well, Tracy and I have buried the hatchet, and at the moment, you don't have many options open to you.
Luke: I would like just a little time to reflect on this before jumping back up on your operating table. I'm sure you understand. And I would like that time to be with the woman I love.
Leyla: I'm not sure you realize what bad shape you're in, Mr. Spencer.
Tracy: I do not have a problem with Monica slicing you open, because I think you should get what you deserve, what you need. The sooner the better.
Luke: Well, I would like just a little time to make peace with you, buttercup. Alone. I have a confession to make.
Monica: Oh, I don't think it's going to come to any shock to Tracy if she finds out that you threw your heart out of whack because you were cheating on her with some bimbo. But then, that wasn't really the case, because she's already dumped you.
Luke: Tracy is the light of my life.
Monica: And she's going to be wearing black and fitting you for a pine box if we don't get going, Luke.
Luke: I don't need an operation.
Leyla: All your tests say otherwise.
Monica: And so do the monitors.
Luke: That's because they're all rigged, all right?
Luke: The tests, the monitors -- I faked it all.
Tracy: Told you.
Bo: You think we somehow forced Aunt Raylene to make the video and give us all that money?
Vance: We didn't even know she had it.
Nadine: That's not what Nikolas meant.
Bo: What did you mean?
Nikolas: Look, I'm not accusing anyone of anything here, really.
Vance: But you're hoping to get your hands on a piece of Nadineís inheritance, but turns out she only got an envelope, which probably was a nice letter from Raylene and some of her recipes.
Bo: Since there's nothing in it for you now, why don't you leave?
Nikolas: I apologize. I shouldn't have interrupted. This is a family matter. It's Raylene's last wishes, and they should be honored. I apologize.
Raylene: No doubt you're all wondering why I didn't leave Nadine any money, why she gets an envelope instead, and the answer is, Nadine is the only one I trust to do the right thing.
Customer: They haven't come up with the financing. Right, it's got a big bare spot. Okay, turn it so I can see the other side. Sorry, it's a $3 billion dollar project, so -- right, I know. Stop, right there. Now just -- hold on, Bill. You're supposed to pull down the branches so I can see what it's going to look like when there's a bunch of gold and silver crap hanging all over it.
Maxie: Wow, this is a long way from Johnny Zacchara, wild rebel with a bottomless bank account.
Lulu: Who is this idiot talking to Johnny like he's a dog?
Maxie: Johnny looks like he wants to punch his lights out.
Lulu: He wonít. He is determined to make it without any of his family's money. I don't want to see this anymore. Let's go.
Maxie: Yeah, it'd be super humiliating if Johnny knew you'd seen him like this.
Spinelli: Oh, hey, fair blonde cohabitants, what a happy coincidence.
Lulu: What are you doing here?
Spinelli: Well, I, too, am looking for a Christmas tree, something worthy of casa de Stone Cold.
Maxie: Well, they have an awful selection.
Spinelli: Nonsense, I see plenty of lovely specimens.
Customer: Okay, tie it up, and use the tarp. You scratch the top of my car, no tip. Sorry, Bill. The rigors of Christmas tree retail were too much for this kid to handle. Right.
Spinelli: I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding a suitably festive tree.
Lulu: No, we're going to go someplace else.
Spinelli: Yeah, but I'm just going to -- I'll seek assistance.
Lulu: No, no, Spinelli, it's okay.
Spinelli: Excuse me, kind Tannenbaum attendant. My lovely friends and I are looking for assistance.
[Pounding on door]
Lucky: Is she here?
Jason: Wait, what are you talking -- what's going on?
Lucky: Just answer the damn question. Is Sam here?
Jason: The last time I saw Sam was at the courthouse after we gave our statements to the federal agent.
Lucky: You know what? It's been a long couple of days, and I'm a little ragged. Just answer my question. After what you and Sam have been -- you know what? The hell with it. Maybe I just jumped to conclusions.
Jason: Okay, hold on, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Why are you looking for Sam? When was the last time you saw her?
Sam: Hello? Hello, can anyone hear me? I'm trapped down here. Hello?
Sam: Help! Somebody. Help me.
Sam: Help! Somebody. Help me.
Johnny: It's not a bad gig. Tips are decent. Of course, you have to deal with the occasional jerk.
Lulu: That's true with any job.
Maxie: Yeah, but I can't believe you didn't hit that guy. I mean, he was talking to you like a total moron, and you handled it perfectly.
Spinelli: I'm sure the cell phone-yammering scrooge is an anomaly at such a festive enterprise as this. I bet his negative energy is overwhelmingly offset by those seeking holiday cheer.
Johnny: Yeah, I like seeing the happy kids running around, and you can't beat the pine-fresh scent.
Spinelli: Oh, and to that very topic, might I inquire as to your inventory? See, I seek a tree that has not been brutally harvested at the end of a buzz saw.
Johnny: You want a tree in a pot?
Spinelli: Yes, I am looking for an eco-friendly approach to the Christmas festivities.
Johnny: They're right over there.
Spinelli: Oh, excellent.
Maxie: Does Jason know he's going to have a Christmas tree as part of his permanent decor?
Spinelli: After the holidays, I will transport it to a woodland area and plant it in a place where it will flourish and grow.
Maxie: That's different and very cool.
Spinelli: Woo, look at this fine specimen. Hello.
Johnny: Say, you need a hand?
Spinelli: Um --
Maxie: Spinelli, I like this one. It's very Christmasy and says, "Take me home, please."
Spinelli: If it brings Maximista joy, who is the Jackal to refuse? Okay.
Johnny: Thanks. I can drive it over later, if you like.
Spinelli: Oh, Jackal is more than capable. Okay -- one, two, three. Okay.
Johnny: Not what you expected, huh?
Lulu: You needed a job, and you went out and got one. That's better than what most people do.
Johnny: If my dad could see me now.
Lulu: This is good, honest work. Nothing to look down on. And after the holidays, you'll get a better job.
Johnny: Yeah, well, you know what? I'd sling Christmas trees for the rest of my life if it meant I didn't have to go back to my family.
Milo: Does Mr. C know?
Milo: That you brought that stuff down.
Claudia: None of your business. Why don't you knock? You should knock before you come in here, understand?
Milo: I'm sorry.
Claudia: Where's that mail? You said you were going to bring my mail.
Milo: It's all right here. I stacked it for you.
Claudia: So you did. Sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you.
Claudia: Milo! Change of plans. We're going to go out.
Vance: Raylene had her own way of doing things, right up to the end. It's a hell of a thing.
Eric: I wish there was something else I could do.
Nadine: Oh, you did so much for her while she was alive. I can't thank you enough for that.
Bo: It's just not fair, us getting all this money.
Nadine: It's what Raylene wanted.
Bo: I feel bad, Nadine.
Nadine: Donít. Whatever is in this envelope is Ė
Bo: Probably some embarrassing family secret that you're put in charge of.
Nadine: Well, I am happy that Aunt Raylene has entrusted this to me.
Bo: If you need anything, don't hesitate to --
Nadine: I'll be fine.
Bo: That's right. You got yourself a prince. That stuff I said about you being after Nadineís inheritance, I didn't --
Nikolas: I understand. You're just looking out for your cousin.
Nikolas: Well, Aunt Raylene certainly had a flair for the dramatic, didn't she?
Nadine: Yeah. I guess it's time to see what all the mystery is about.
Nadine: I know this is silly, but part of me thinks that what's in here is something really amazing, but the other part thinks that maybe it's not, and then I might be kind of disappointed, and in that case, it would be better if the news came from you. So would you mind?
Nikolas: Oh, okay. Well, whatever she left you, I know that she loved you and trusted you and believed in you, and those are all things that you can carry with you the rest of your life, so --
Nadine: Right, yeah.
Nikolas: All right, you ready?
Nadine: Oh, my gosh.
Tracy: Not only did you commit fraud --
Luke: It was harmless fun.
Tracy: You diverted valuable hospital resources from truly sick people. You admitted it to the chief of staff. Please call the authorities.
Leyla: Dr. Quartermaine, if you don't need me, I should get back to the desk.
Monica: No, that's all right. You go ahead.
Tracy: Don't go far. The police are going to want to take your statement.
Monica: I would love to turn you into the cops, but --
Tracy: But? No buts about it. He's a liar. Throw him in jail.
Monica: But Tracy has made our lives miserable since your latest breakup, and I don't think her mood's going to improve if you go to prison or you get tried for fraud. So for the sake of harmony, I am going to let this slide. But don't you ever, ever pull a stunt like this again.
Tracy: That's it?
Monica: No, that is not it. What I want from you, Tracy, is to admit that you love Luke, take him back, and please stop driving the family crazy.
Luke: I meant everything I said before about you, about this, us, everything.
Tracy: You're just trying to weasel back on the gravy train, Luke. You have been playing me all along.
Luke: You have been playing me too, wife.
Tracy: Don't call me wife. I'm not your wife.
Luke: Yes, you are. I know that you didn't go through with the divorce.
Nikolas: It looks like a schematic for some sort of a plow.
Nadine: Yeah, and look right there in the name, "Patented by Raylene Crowell."
Nikolas: It seems that Aunt Raylene was a woman with many unexpected talents who continually surprises, much like yourself.
Nikolas: God, and how many times have I driven by a farm and seen a plow, not knowing that the entire time my aunt is devising a better way for it to work, and not only that -- she made it a reality. You think it's silly that I am so excited about this.
Nikolas: No, no, not at all. I think it's something that you should be very proud of.
Nadine: God, but she had this whole separate life as an inventor. I mean, why would she keep that a secret from all of us?
Nikolas: I don't know. My only guess would be based on my experience with various businesses that I own. I think your aunt is a right-brain type thinker, an idea person, and I think creative people need to just go off into their own separate world, you know?
Nadine: Yeah, I guess so. I mean -- also, why wouldn't she entrust it to the entire family? I mean, why leave all of this information just to me?
Nikolas: Maybe it was because of the special relationship that you shared with her. Maybe she knew that you'd appreciate it in a way that no one else could. I mean, look at the way you reacted, you know? It was more about the achievement and less about the monetary value of this. I mean, because you know this is probably worth a great deal of money, right?
Claudia: Hey, do you guys sell olive branches?
Johnny: Fresh out.
Claudia: Okay, well, I guess this will have to do, then. It's biblical. Come on, you know, like Noah and the ark. Come on, you remember Noah. Noah jumped through hoops of fire. He did everything he was told, just to prove himself, and what happened? He got stuck with a bunch of animals, up to his neck in crap. Kind of like you and dad.
Johnny: Then the dove came with the twig in his mouth, the proverbial olive branch, signifying it was safe to get out, which it still is. You know, I'm living proof.
Claudia: I'm sorry that we fought. I don't want to fight with you, and I'm sorry I came down so hard on you about working here.
Johnny: I'm turning over a new leaf, clean slate, and you know, I may not have anything, but I'm free of Dad, of all of it.
Claudia: Used to be my dream, too.
Johnny: You can still make that happen. The only one stopping you is you.
Claudia: Well, my dreams have changed, and my ambitions have changed. But one thing that hasn't changed is my love for you. So here, Johnny. Take it.
Lucky: The last time I saw Sam was in our apartment after she gave her statement, but I couldn't stay. Elizabeth just got called in by Agent Rayner. It was the very last minute. I knew how difficult it would be for Elizabeth to talk about what happened at the cabin, the fact that she had to shoot one of those Russian mobsters, and I did not want Elizabeth to have to face that alone. Sam and I, we both agreed to meet back at her apartment for dinner. She wouldn't answer her phone. She hadn't called.
Jason: Well, has she done this before, just taken off?
Lucky: Yes, but she always calls. Somehow she gets word back to me. You know as well as I do that once Sam gets something in her head, like going undercover, there's no getting through to her. I've been able to handle some better than others, but before I left, Sam and I -- we had a few words.
Jason: Did you have a fight?
Jason: About what?
Lucky: Sam -- Sam said something about wanting to track down the Russian syndicate, something about going after Sasha Donev.
Jason: Okay, so Sam didn't show up? You just assumed that she came over here and we were working together?
Lucky: Yeah, now I'm just worried that Sam has gone after Sasha Donev alone.
Sam: Come on.
Sam: Come on.
Johnny: Put that away. You're going to get mugged.
Claudia: John, it's -- no part of this money came from Daddy. I have my own money from my mother, from Uncle Rudy. It's -- you're not taking anything from him.
Johnny: Well, it would be the same to take your money.
Claudia: What, you're --I'm sorry, you're comparing me to Daddy now?
Johnny: Claudia, this isn't about you.
Claudia: What, because I made the tough choice, because I made the tough choice for all of us, because I married Sonny?
Johnny: It was your choice, your life, and I told you not to do it.
Claudia: I love you, Johnny. I do. And I love that the family hasn't completely crushed your spirit, but one of us has to be practical here, okay? You have the Zacchara name behind you and everything that goes along with that, and you always will.
Johnny: Well, I plan on giving that name a new meaning.
Claudia: But you can't completely escape who you are, Johnny, not what this family has done. What you have done. There's too much history. There's too many people with an axe to grind, and I want to make sure that you have all the resources you need to deal with whatever comes up.
Johnny: If I thought of it that way, Claudia, I would be admitting that I'm trapped. That things can't change.
Claudia: But they canít. Not completely. That's reality.
Johnny: Your reality.
Claudia: Take the money, John. Hey, if you never need to use it, then great. But if you do, then you have it.
Johnny: If I take the money, Claudia, it's the first step to being sucked back in, and I'm not going to do it.
Claudia: What are you getting here, minimum wage at best?
Johnny: I'll survive.
Claudia: Well, you can't live on pride.
Johnny: Maybe not, but it's a hell of lot easier to starve when you're on your own, when it's your own life. So thanks, but no thanks.
Woman: Can you help me with a tree, young man?
Woman: When you're finished here.
Johnny: We're finished.
Nadine: So you think all the money she left to Vance and Bo and to take care of Jolene, do you think it comes from the patent from this invention?
Nikolas: It makes sense to me. According to the will, she didn't have any other assets. No stock, no equities, nothing.
Nadine: She did this all on her own.
Nikolas: Yeah. I mean, clearly, someone's paying a lot of money to use this patent to manufacture farm equipment. I think it would even be used internationally.
Nadine: You think my aunt's invention is used in other countries?
Nikolas: To generate this kind of revenue, it has to be. And for her to leave the patent to you only insures that any future income from this goes directly to you.
Nadine: Oh, I can't wait to go to the factory. I want to see her invention coming right off the assembly line.
Nikolas: Clearly, I don't know anything about farm equipment. I never would have dreamed that a coupling for a plow would be this valuable, right?
Nadine: Oh, I don't really care about the money. I just care about the invention and that she entrusted me with it, and to be responsible for it.
Nikolas: Who better than you to safeguard Raylene's vision?
Nadine: Oh, that's a beautiful way of putting it. Safeguarding her vision. Of course, you could just be buttering me up, now that I am an heiress.
Nikolas: That's true. I could just be a fortune-hunter and nothing else.
Nadine: I'll take my chances.
Jason: Sam's phone records. Hack into them. Now.
Spinelli: If fair Samantha is quarrelling with the cleft-chinned keeper of the peace, perhaps she just needed to decompress after their love spat.
Jason: Sam never called Lucky.
Spinelli: Maybe passions needed to cool, especially if the quarrel was over a like-minded former lover.
Jason: You talking about me?
Spinelli: No doubt Stone Cold assumes that the conscientious cop has nothing to worry about, but believe me, the mere thought of the woman you love being in close proximity with a fearless man of danger can cause irrational thoughts. Case in point? Maximista's regrettable decision to cohabitate, albeit temporarily with the former mob prince. Maximista and the younger Zacchara, they tolerate each other at best, and the idea that they could have an involvement, emotional or physical, is laughable. But see, in your case, an emotional ordeal like rescuing young Jake is a crucible that could --
Jason: Sam and Lucky weren't fighting about me.
Spinelli: How do you know that?
Jason: Because Lucky told me that. Get back to the phone records.
Spinelli: Yes, I abide. What am I looking for?
Jason: Okay, I got a hang-up last night right before Diane came over to talk about legal stuff. I had no idea at the time Sam was missing.
Spinelli: If fair Samantha tried to contact you and was thwarted, she might no doubt be in imminent danger--
Jason: Do you want to help Sam?
Jason: Yeah? Stop talking and focus.
Sam: Lucky. Lucky, you came to get me.
Lucky: Do you love me?
Sam: Yeah, you know I do.
Lucky: Do you love only me?
Sam: No, no, Lucky, please! Lucky, don't go.
Jason: Sam wanted to go after the Russians on her own. That's what she and Lucky were fighting about, okay? Now if things went wrong and Sasha called Sam --
Spinelli: Wait, Stone Cold thinks that fair Samantha went after the villainous one?
Jason: Okay, listen. Sasha was always more than Karpov's attorney. She was the center of operations, right? Karpov's dead, now the Russians are relying on her to take control and restore order.
Spinelli: Why would fair Samantha go after them without backup?
Spinelli: Ah, I'm in. Fair Samanthaís last call was at 9:05 to you.
Jason: To me. Okay, best way to find Sam is to find Sasha, and we need to figure that out.
Spinelli: All right. I could perhaps hack into her e-mail accounts and trace her texts, her I.M.'s. Communication with her people in the syndicate might reveal her location and if fair Samantha was apprehended.
[Knock at door]
Maxie: I know, the Russians, the danger, yada-yada. This won't take long.
Jason: Make it quick.
Spinelli: It's a matter of grave importance.
Maxie: Then don't waste time explaining it to me. Just take this. I was shopping for Kateís Christmas decorations and they made me think of you. No big deal. Just Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, scrooge.
Luke: Nurse Johnson. I hope you'll accept my apology for having dragged you though the minefield of my tumultuous personal life.
Epiphany: You dragged it into the middle of my hospital.
Luke: I'm a man in love.
Epiphany: What is it that women see in men like you?
Luke: You mean besides my devastating good looks, my sparkling wit, and my youth?
Luke: No, I'm not pathetic. I'm desperate.
Epiphany: Not you. Her. Personally, I would have drop-kicked you into the next county, and if you ever drag me into one of your schemes again, I will.
Luke: Yes, I understand. Thank you very much.
Luke: Any chance you're waiting for me?
Tracy: As a matter of fact, I am. I'm happy you tried that ridiculous stunt. I'm happy that you cared enough to make the effort.
Luke: I'd go a lot further for you.
Tracy: Until Laura shows up. And I get slapped in the face with a big fat mackerel, and once again, I'm second.
Luke: You're not second. How can I make you understand that?
Tracy: Fine. I'm not second. But I'm not first, either.
Lulu: Can I give you a hand?
Johnny: Why aren't you at work?
Lulu: Maxie and I got Kateís second tree home and decorated. God knows if she's actually going to like it, and we made her dinner reservations in Manhattan, so she's out of our hair for the duration.
Johnny: Wow, you have a devious mind. I like it.
Lulu: And I'm great with a power tool. Oh, I can do that.
Johnny: No, I don't doubt that you can, but my boss isn't exactly in the holiday spirit, and I'd hate to get canned my first day on the job, especially after the speech I gave Claudia.
Lulu: Claudia, she was here?
Johnny: Yeah. She didn't exactly approve of my choice in careers, and we got into it. She came back to apologize and told me that she supported my decision to walk away from the family.
Lulu: That's impressive.
Johnny: She came with a big wad of cash and told me that I was going to need it. That I was kidding myself if I thought that I could be like any normal kid striking out on his own. That I have the burden of my family name and everything that comes along with it, and everything that they've done and that I've done --
Lulu: She's wrong.
Johnny: That's what I told her. Not that I wasn't tempted to take the cash and stash it away in case I needed it.
Lulu: But you didnít.
Johnny: No, I didnít.
Lulu: Well, that's great. We can do this. We can do this on our own.
Luke: Look, I wish I could pretend that my life just started in this moment. I wish I could pretend that I never loved Laura, that it's just always been us, but I can't, can I? I mean, if I did, you wouldn't believe me anyway.
Tracy: I'm not talking about the past.
Luke: Yes, you are. You're talking about the past. When Laura was diagnosed with this mysterious illness, and I was told that she would never recover, I let her go, Tracy. I tried to get on with a new life. This new life I envisaged was going to be long periods of industrial strength drinking broken up by meaningless hookups.
Tracy: Of which I was but one.
Luke: In the beginning, I wanted to get into your bed, into your bank account, have a few laughs, and be gone. I never anticipated that I would get serious. I never thought that I would want to plan a life with you.
Tracy: And then Laura woke up.
Luke: Well, that can't change what's happened between us.
Tracy: But you love Laura.
Luke: You're talking like, you know, Laura and I could go back to the way things were, and we canít. That's impossible.
Tracy: And if she said she needed you?
Luke: She's the mother of my children. I've loved her half my life. She has a terrible disease. If she said she needed me, I'd be one cold-hearted bastard to just turn my back on her.
Tracy: Okay, and what if she came to you and said how much she loves you and she wants to try again, what would you say then?
Luke: That's not going to happen.
Tracy: That's not an answer.
Luke: I want a life with you, Tracy. With you. And you know it. That's why you didn't go through with the divorce.
Tracy: You didn't answer the question.
Luke: That's because you made up this fantastic scenario, far-fetched imaginary situation. I don't know what the hell I'd do.
Tracy: I do. You and Laura would walk hand in hand into the sunset and live happily ever after. But I will not be around to watch it.
Jason: Spinelli, you okay?
Spinelli: The thoughtfulness of Maximista's gift has just rendered me temporarily speechless. Observe. The most excellent ornaments to grace the branches of our Tannenbaum. It will be the most beautiful Christmas tree ever.
Jason: Yeah, those are nice.
Spinelli: Just what -- who would have guessed that Maximista would have been paying attention at all when I was describing the workings of the comic book universe?
Jason: Well, that should tell you all you need to know, Spinelli.
Spinelli: You know, you're right. I will no longer fret about John Zacchara's residing in Maximista's proximity again.
Jason: I'm happy for you. Really, I'm happy for you. And I really need you to focus now.
Spinelli: Sorry. The trace is still running and will soon yield -- uh -- the Slavic seductress has just made a call on your cell phone.
[Cell phone rings]
Spinelli: The specific digits are --
Jason: Yeah, this is Jason Morgan.
Sasha: By now you must be looking for Sam. I know where she is.
Sam: Ow! Ow. Oh.
Jerry: Surprise. Oh, I wish I could see your reaction right now, Claudia. Your heart racing, the look on that lovely face of yours. Shock mingled with anger. The ever-present hint of lust. Oh, my God, you are such a fine specimen. Alas, by now, I've probably vanished without a trace or died trying. It's pretty likely that I'll never have the pleasure of your company again. But, as you know, I am an amoral bastard and I draw the line at shooting children. And in point of fact, Michael was Jaxís stepson. It seems really unfair that the poor kid's lying in a permanent state of coma while you go on your merry way. So, even though I loathe Sonny, he's a father and has a right to know what you've done, which probably means that Sonny will kill you. But I think that you deserve a fighting chance to save yourself. Besides, I like games. So I'm going to play a little game with you. I made a lovely DVD detailing your part in Michaelís shooting. The DVD is hidden in Sonny's house somewhere. If you find it before Sonny, you can save yourself. So let the games begin, darling.
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