GH Transcript Tuesday 5/13/08

General Hospital Transcript Tuesday 5/13/08

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Robin: Elizabeth, do you have a second to be the voice of maternal experience? Really, any pointers or wisdom at this point would be very welcome.

Elizabeth: Unfortunately, babies don't come with manuals. There are books you can buy, but mostly it's trial and error. Don't worry. You're going to figure it out as you get to know your child.

Robin: I'm still having those panic attacks and I have to say, Patrick is no help at all on that -- he's standing right behind me, isn't he?

Sam: No offense, Luke, I just -- I don't -- I don't think I'm going to be able to buy chips and beer with this money.

Luke: Well, what can I tell you, slick. Get your boyfriend to keep his brothers in blue from chasing off our customers.

Sam: Whoa. Look at you.

Luke: What do you think?

Sam: I think -- I think you clean up well.

Luke: Well enough to get my wife back?

Tracy: Daddy!

Alice: Don't you think you're a little old to be crying to daddy every time something goes wrong? If you've got a problem with me, we can work this out man to man. Come on.

Edward: What's all this yelling about?

Tracy: Fire the housekeeper.

Edward: On what grounds?

Tracy: Incompetence. There's tarnish on the silver, the coffee's always cold and there's dust bunnies under my bed.

Edward: Alice is doing a fine job.

Alice: Thank you, Mr. Q. This isn't an easy house to run.

Edward: I know, my dear. We're very lucky to have you.

Tracy: What does she have on you, pictures? Wire taps?

Edward: No, I'm just very appreciative of the fine service that Alice has given us these many years.

Tracy: Isn't there anybody that I can depend on for anything?

Tracy: He's back.

Alan: You can always depend on me, especially when it comes to telling the truth. So let's begin, shall we, Tracy? First of all, you're not mad at Alice or Father. Luke, however, that's a horse of a different color.

Tracy: I'm not mad, Alan. I'm scared. The next bullet could have Luke’s name on it.

Sonny: You think he knows you're making him comfortable?

Epiphany: I doubt it, Mr. Corinthos, but that doesn't mean that we should treat him as if he's unaware. I understand that Michael is leaving us today?

Sonny: Yeah, we're placing him in a permanent facility.

Epiphany: The Aftercare Institute. I know it, one of the best in the world. And for the record, you're doing the right thing.

Sonny: That's what I keep hearing.

Sonny: But why does it feel like I'm turning my back on you?

Sonny: Big day, huh? I'm glad your mom finally came around. Epiphany's right. The Aftercare Institute is -- is the best there is. I'm just, you know, I'm a little surprised that it's just happening so fast.

Mike: Hey. Carly told me the news, so I thought I'd look in on our little guy before he left.

Sonny: Everybody tells me it's the best -- you know, the best place to send him.

Mike: Yeah, well, what do you think? I mean, are you okay with it?

Sonny: I haven't been there. Jax and Carly were there and, if -- if, you know -- you know her. If she says it's the best place for him, then it's the best place for him.

Mike: But still, Michael, it wouldn't hurt if you checked it out yourself.

Sonny: I have been kind of thinking of going today, you know? You want to go with me?

Mike: I'm flattered. I really am, but, you know, I'm -- I'm probably a pretty poor second choice. If you're looking for support, Michael, why -- why don't you take Kate?

Kate: Lulu, we don't leave the layouts all willy-nilly where any delivery person could see them.

Lulu: I'm sorry. I was just trying to get them organized --

Kate: Where are the magazines?

Lulu: Magazines?

Kate: I distinctly remember asking someone to buy this month's issue of "French Couture."

Lulu: That was Maxie. That was Maxie and she's in New York, so she isn't --

Kate: Well, Lulu, this is your opportunity to step up -- I sincerely hope that Mr. Spinelli is not here to fix some sort of computer error that you failed to mention.

Spinelli: No, the Jackal is here to fall upon your combined tender mercies to release possibly privileged information about the fair Maximista.

Kate: Such as?

Spinelli: When can I anticipate her wondrous return?

Kate: Not for a few days. I sent her to a photo shoot in Manhattan. This is a good opportunity. See, if you excel at something, anything, you will be rewarded, too.

Lulu: [Scoffs] I'm sorry, I just fail to see what Maxie did that was so glorious.

Kate: Well, she has her way with the artists. Creative people are quirky. She seems to understand their way of thinking. That's why she was able to develop a rapport with Federico Cabrero so quickly.

Spinelli: Who?

Kate: Federico Cabrero, he's this fabulous young designer who has the entire world at his feet.

Robin: Listen, I didn't mean it the way that it sounded.

Patrick: You said I'm no help at all. I mean, what -- what meaning am I missing?

Robin: Meaning there might be, you know --

Patrick: Because I'm trying to be supportive as I can be. You know what? Correction -- as you let me be. I try and show interest, try and participate in whatever limited way you'll allow me on any given day, but it's -- it's really hard to be fully engaged when you're constantly telling people that you -- that you're so determined to have this baby on your own.

Robin: Okay --

Epiphany: Growing a 10-pound potato in your belly is pretty much the definition of doing it alone.

Robin: Can I speak now?

Patrick: Yes, please.

Robin: Okay, I wasn't intentionally excluding you. The fact that you even want to be involved in this pregnancy is an unexpected and very welcomed gift. What I was talking about was comparing notes with other mothers, not necessarily with the big stuff, but, you know, day to day things. Like for example, how am I supposed to shave my legs when I can't reach them?

[Elizabeth giggles]

Elizabeth: Sorry.

Patrick: Okay, I don't have the answer for that one. But even if you do find this like-minded support that you're looking for, it won't really matter. You don't listen to anybody anyway.

Sam: Emotional fortification?

Luke: You might say that. My wife is not an easy get-back.

Sam: Well, anybody with eyes can see that Tracy is absolutely nuts for you.

Luke: The feeling's mutual, but that doesn't mean that we make it easy on each other. Add to that the fact that she can see right through me, which I really hate because it makes it very hard to pull the wool over her eyes.

Sam: Oh, well, is that what you plan to do?

Lucky: We need to have a conversation.

Luke: Well, there's the tone I've learned to know and despise.

Sam: I'm done here.

Sam: I will catch up with you later. Gorge.

Luke: She meant "gorgeous," me.

Lucky: It's a little too early for that, isn't it?

Luke: Oh, lighten up.

Lucky: No, Dad, I will not lighten up. Your life isn't a joke to me.

Luke: My life, cowboy. My life.

Lucky: Well, that is where you're wrong because you are into illegal activities with known criminals, and that puts you into my territory.

Luke: Is that what this is about? Are you here to arrest me?

Lucky: I'm here to make sure it doesn't come to that.

Lucky: I don't want to fight with you or even make you more self-destructive to prove a point.

Luke: Look at me, son. Who do you see?

Lucky: I see you.

Luke: Right, me, Luke Spencer, the same man I've always been. I don't live in a safe world, pal. I like a little danger around my edges. It's who I am. And I'm not going to change because it puts a collision course ahead of me with you or because my wife insists on it or because my heart complains.

Lucky: How did I know this would be your response?

Luke: Because as quiet as we keep it, you know me better than anyone. Now, I'm going to get my wife back by any means necessary. And if that means I have to lie in her face, I don't want you coming along behind me in some kind of misguided clean-up detail, okay? Don't save me from me.

Lucky: Dad, it's not my business what you say to your wife, but if you get caught elbows deep in a ton of mob money, I'm involved.

Luke: Understood.

Lucky: Dad, be careful. Not safe, just -- just be careful.

Luke: Deal.

Kate: Well, actually, it's a real coup for "Crimson" that he's taken such a shine to Maxie. I intend to do what ever I can to further that relationship.

Spinelli: Yeah, how bright of a shine?

Lulu: She's staying in his loft.

Kate: Oh, Mr. Spinelli, don't despair. Perhaps -- perhaps we can utilize your cyber skills for a mutual satisfaction. I mean, after all, knowledge is ammunition, right? Why don't you jackal him? Well, that's the right terminology, isn't it? Right? See what you can find to further our respective goals. I mean, unless you're busy with Sonny.

Spinelli: I -- I regret to say that Mr. Corinthos Sir has fallen a bit off the radar. I fear that knowing the identity of little Michael’s shooter hasn't brought as much satisfaction as he may have hoped.

Sonny: Kate has her own reasons for not being with me right now. But I understand if you don't want to go to this place, because I'm having trouble myself.

Mike: Obviously, or you wouldn't have asked me to tag -- tag along.

[Chuckles]

Sonny: I mean, you know, I'm about to put my 12-year-old little boy into a room, closed in for the rest of his life. Four walls, trapped because I put him there.

Mike: The last thing that he would want you to do is to turn this in on yourself. He loved you and he still does. Now, if you need to hold onto something when you walk in that room, you hold onto that. I'm not saying it's not going to be hell, but at least you'll be able to walk out of there again.

Coleman: [Laughs] What, are you itching somewhere that you can't scratch, man?

Spinelli: Jackal requires a cold one, please.

Coleman: Well, would the Jackal prefer glass, bottle, or tap?

Spinelli: Well, orange soda. It's in a bottle, correct?

Coleman: Yeah, yeah, orange soda's in a bottle.

[Jingling coins]

Spinelli: You can keep that.

Coleman: That's awful big of you, my man.

Spinelli: Thank you, my man.

Coleman: What the hell's up with you?

Spinelli: What?

Coleman: Man, what's up with you, buddy?

Spinelli: What?

Coleman: No, you're just acting a little weirder than usual. That's -- that's saying something, man.

Spinelli: I'm just -- honestly, I'm just trying to follow in the footsteps of the master. That's all.

Coleman: Mm-hmm. Well, so far, all you're doing is you're, you know, kind of looking kind of like a buffoon.

Spinelli: Oh.

Coleman: It -- it's okay. I mean, so what -- what exactly are you after?

Spinelli: I'm -- chick magnet coolness. Have you -- have you ever noticed the caliber of moths that flicker to Stone Cold's flame? Okay, goddess Samantha, daughter of darkness, Claudia Zacchara, even the -- even the married Valkyrie stays in Stone Cold's sway. And if I don't find a way to assimilate to his similar prowess, my -- my tempestuous love will fly into the arms of a runaway Romeo and be lost forever, so –

Alan: My role is to remind you of all the things you should already know. For example, terrorizing poor Alice and the rest of the staff is not going to make Luke do what you want. You are punishing the very people who live to serve you. That's selfish, Tracy.

Tracy: Selfish? You're calling me selfish? You know, death has not become you, Alan. You've become a hypocrite. Do we need to count the number of times you blew off family in favor of floosies and a handful of pills? I'm trying to save Luke’s life and you have the nerve to call me selfish.

Alice: She's as nutty as last year's fruitcake.

Edward: Damn Luke Spencer for doing this to Tracy just when I need her.

[Door bell rings]

Alice: Luke.

Edward: Speak of the devil.

Alice: Your timing couldn't be better. We need you here. Tracy needs you.

Edward: And I am desperate enough to -- to agree, hmm?

Luke: Well, that's what I'm counting on.

Alan: If you can't be honest with me, at least be honest with yourself. This has nothing to do with saving Luke’s life. You want Luke back. You just won't admit it.

Tracy: You're wrong. I wouldn't take Luke back if he begged me on both knees.

Luke: What if he limped in on one bad knee?

Kate: Lulu, I have a question for you.

Lulu: Yes, I'm interested in working here; I just did not walk in a complete fashion freak like Maxie.

Kate: I was actually going to go for something more personal, namely, your relationship with Johnny Zacchara.

Lulu: Don't you start in on me, too, okay? What I do outside of this office is my business.

Kate: I'm kind of breaking my own rules. Look, far be it from me to tell you who you should or shouldn't date.

Lulu: Well, that's a relief.

Kate: I just, uh -- it occurred to me that I might be able to learn something from you.

Lulu: I can't imagine what.

Mike: Hey, Kate.

Kate: Hi, Mike.

Mike: Hi, Lulu.

Lulu: Hi.

Mike: Listen, I need a moment of your time, if I may.

Lulu: Oh, that's -- yeah, I've got to take some mail out anyway.

[Mike clears throat]

Kate: I -- I know why you're here. I'm a little surprised that Sonny told you.

Mike: Told me what?

Kate: He ended things with us, Mike.

Mike: I -- I didn't know. But it doesn't matter. You have to find a way to fix it. My son has never needed you more than he does right now.

Kate: One night I was alone and Ian Devlin showed up. He told me that he was the one that fired the shot that hurt Michael, and he demanded that I pay him $1 million.

Mike: And you gave it to him?

Kate: Well, he said he was going to kill Sonny if I didn’t.

Mike: You thought you were saving Sonny's life?

Kate: Yes, I did. Sonny didn't see it that way, Mike, and therein lies the problem.

Mike: Yeah, well, that's my son. Right or wrong, good for him or bad, either you follow Sonny's code, or you’re out.

Kate: Well, then I guess I'm out. I love him, Mike, and it hurts not to be with him, but it's worth it, because I don't want to see him die. So I wish I could help him, but I can’t. He won't let me.

Mike: And I'm asking you to try. Sonny is facing one of the most difficult days of his life. He's going to see the facility in New York.

Kate: Michael's going to receive fantastic care there.

Mike: Yeah, well, maybe you can make him believe that, because he won't be able to believe that on his own. All he's going to think about is that it's his fault that Michael's going to spend the rest of his life hooked up to feeding tubes, okay? Sonny needs a little hope right now, and you're the only one that can give it to him.

Sonny: Thanks for making time to see me.

Dr. Levitt: We're here for the families as well as the residents.

Sonny: "The residents," I like that. I like a lot about, you know, what I see. It's, uh -- the color's good.

Dr. Levitt: Your ex-wife chose it.

Sonny: It's kind of weird, you know, I mean, it's like my son is going to stay here the rest of his life, and he has no input. His room at my house and Carly’s house, it's all a bunch of stuff like, you know, action figures and videogames and movies and all kinds of, you know -- Michael always has a -- Michael had an active imagination. He was always looking for the next best thing, you know. Smart kid, I mean, sometimes he was too smart for his own good.

[Sonny exhales]

Sonny: We always tried to keep him focused, put him in the right direction. He'd always go a different way, or -- now, well, Carly and I, we were trying to figure out what to do with him. I wanted him to stay in a place like this where he could get, you know, professional care. Carly wanted to take care of him herself. She's stubborn that way, but she's coming around. I've got to tell you I'm having a -- a little bit of a problem now, because I'm -- I'm caught convincing myself that my son is going to be okay. And he's -- and he's not going to wake up ever again.

Patrick: I'm signing off on Nikolas Cassadine. Start him on felbatol.

Epiphany: Right away, Doctor.

Elizabeth: Hey, I thought you might be interested in this website.

Robin: Mommy-gram.

Elizabeth: Helpful hints from experienced moms.

Robin: Thank you. You know what's happening? I think I'm losing my focus. Because when I first wanted to get pregnant, I wanted to live my pregnancy, not mimic others. Maybe I should do a video diary to go along with my blog.

Patrick: This might be a silly question, but wouldn't it be more fun sharing with me, the father of the baby, instead of a bunch of online strangers?

Robin: Don't take this the wrong way but, not really.

Patrick: Because?

Robin: Because you're a man.

Patrick: Because I'm a man, Robin?

Robin: Yes, you are a man and I need empathy. So unless you're carrying around a 10-pound potato of your own, you can't really help me.

Tracy: It's pointless to go over this again, Luke. We have made our positions abundantly clear, and never the 'twain shall meet, so go.

Luke: Not until I've said my piece.

Tracy: Terminator --

Alice: That's "Dominator."

Tracy: Whatever -- just do your chicken grip hold on him and toss him to the curb.

Alan: At least hear what the man has to say.

Edward: Tracy, don't you think you should at least hear what the man has to say?

Tracy: Do you have to agree with Father?

Edward: I implore you, Luke, please help Tracy in her time of need.

Tracy: I am through needing anything from this mob wannabe.

Luke: Ouch.

Alan: Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

Alice: Your mouth says no, but your eyes say yes.

Luke: Okay, I appreciate all the help here, but you're just making her dig in deeper. Let me take it from here.

Alice: I love a man that takes charge.

Tracy: Good to know, take him.

Alice: Good luck, Mr. Luke.

Luke: Thank you. Oh, also, the ghost-in-law, you can go, too, Alan.

Tracy: Alan stays.

Luke: Oh, he's already gone, isn't he? Yes, he's already gone.

Tracy: He's right here.

Luke: No, it's just you and me, Tracy. That is a fact of life, and it's one that I'm not going to let you deny for one more day.

Tracy: Why are you doing this?

Luke: Because I want my wife back.

Tracy: But you're not willing to do what it takes to make that happen. You're beating a dead horse, Luke. Why don't you go find one of those scary women you like so much? Anna Devane and Claudia Zacchara spring readily to mind. Just leave me alone.

Luke: There's no one else for me, Tracy. No one anywhere. And I know it's the same for you.

Tracy: You don't know anything about me.

Luke: Look, I know I'm nobody's idea of a great catch, but I'm better with you. I'm so much better. We're a perfect match. We work, damn it. So here I am before you, deeply flawed, offering you my broken body and my battered heart, and this. Won't you please wear it again?

Lulu: Don't stop. I like it when you play.

Johnny: Why? It makes it easier to convince yourself I have a soul?

Lulu: I don't need convincing.

Johnny: Shouldn't you be at work?

Lulu: Kate had to do something, so she closed the office. Why? You don't like seeing me?

Johnny: I guess I really don't have much of a choice now.

Lulu: Well, that's not an answer. It's vaguely insulting, but it's not an answer.

Johnny: It's not that I don't want to spend time with you, I do. It's just that I wish it's because that's what we chose, not because my father decreed it.

Lulu: It's not all fake. My feelings for you are as real as it gets.

Coleman: I'm not your master, but I've been chasing tail since I was 14, so I could probably enlighten you on a few things.

Spinelli: The Jackal would be really grateful for your worldly wisdom.

Coleman: All right, first --

Spinelli: Yes --

Coleman: Whoa, whoa.

Spinelli: What?

Coleman: Orange soda has got to go, okay?

Coleman: Oh, hey, that's not wine. You don't sniff it. You don't sip it. You knock it back, like a man. Check it out. Down the hatch. Come on, like a sexy man. Come on. There you go.

[Spinelli coughs]

Coleman: Hold it. No, you can't do that. Here, you're all right. Put your head up. You're all right. No, right here. There you go. You got it, you got it.

Spinelli: [Strained voice] Yeah, got it.

Coleman: Now, the thing about Morgan and women that's key is he doesn't try, okay? And he lets them talk, okay? And the chicks love that, man. Hey -- hey, the great thing is, any guy can master it, even you. I mean, all you've got to do is sit there and shut up, right?

[Spinelli and Coleman laugh]

Coleman: Another playa? Okay, here's a guy who does all right. How's it going, Doc?

Spinelli: Your timing is most opportune, enlightened one. Might the Jackal buy you a tasty beverage in exchange for some life altering advice?

Lucky: I think I should have saved my breath. My father never takes my advice.

[Sam laughs]

Lucky: Get a nurse. Nikolas? Nikolas?

Patrick: Women respond faster when you think you're confident, without arrogance.

Spinelli: Confidence isn't really the Jackal's strong suit.

Patrick: Well, that's something you can work on. Now, what not to do. Never talk about a past relationship, good or bad. You'll never live it down. And even if you think your woman's mother is the hottest thing you've ever seen in a pair of boots, never admit it -- ever. Pretend you're blind.

Coleman: I've seen you in action, man. You've got notches all over town for days, give it up for the kid.

Patrick: Yeah, that was B.P.

Spinelli: I'm sorry, B.P.?

Patrick: Before pregnancy. And that's the big danger, little buddy. Women eventually respond. And sooner or later, you're going to crash into one that wants a kid. One careless night and bam -- racking up notches is a thing of the past and your future is nothing but baby.

Robin: Hello, my name is Robin, and this is my first video blog. I'm doing this to reach out to the sisterhood of single pregnant ladies who are ultimately awed and freaked out by the changes happening in our body and the terrifying specter of motherhood. I mean, we're all in this together, right? All on guard for the next, never experienced thing? We're all on the same journey, so this is my part to reach out and I hope that you do the same. Okay, um, where do I start? Well, I'm happy to report the nausea is gone. Yes -- wow. I hope that I never have to throw up ever again in my life. What a simple joy, just keeping food down. The only problem is, I can't seem to keep it in the house. I have turned into this eating machine. I find myself regretting that there are only four food groups. I mean, who dropped the ball on that one? But then I tell myself, "Robin, really, how huge do you want to get? You're already approaching cow-like proportions as it is." I am paranoid the baby is going to come out and not take any of the extra baby weight with it. Which will be a problem, because the father of my child already thinks that my mother is hotter than me -- yes, he said that. Oh, he tried to clean it up but I heard it with my own ears. I an -- really, seriously, what am I supposed to do with that?

Dr. Harmon: Something happened in here. Mr. Cassadine went into a seizure with no warning whatsoever.

Nurse : He's stabilizing, Dr. Harmon.

Dr. Harmon: Who administered his last round of meds?

Epiphany: I did, less than a half an hour ago on Dr. Drake's orders.

Dr. Harmon: The blood work shows no trace of anti-seizure meds.

Sam: Something is wrong.

Lucky: How wrong?

Sam: Well, this is exactly what happened when Elizabeth got chewed out. She said she gave the patient the pills, but the blood work said that he never got them.

Johnny: After you saw me shoot Sonny, you swore you wanted nothing to do with me.

Lulu: And I meant it, until I realized what really happened. Sonny was pushing your buttons. He wanted you to kill him.

Johnny: I almost did.

Lulu: He manipulated you.

Johnny: Oh, so now you're making excuses for me.

Lulu: I -- oh, my gosh. I am just saying it like it is. Can I just make a little suggestion?

Johnny: What?

Lulu: Can we feel what we feel without overanalyzing it to death?

Johnny: You don't have to pretend like you want me when my father's not here.

Lulu: Does this read fake to you? What?

Anthony: By all means, don't let me stop you.

Tracy: So would you prefer we ignore our fundamental, but very real, differences?

Luke: Yes, I prefer we ignore them.

Tracy: And what about the Zaccharas?

Luke: Screw the Zaccharas.

Tracy: You're going to leave them to manage their own affairs?

Luke: I'll get out as soon as I can. In the meantime, I love you. I miss you. I want you back. Oh, come on, are you going to make me get down on my one good knee? Be sure now, because I can't get back up.

Tracy: [Laughs] Well, it would serve you right. Don't you know that I am just trying to save your life?

Luke: Why don't you leave that to me? Come on, spanky. I can get this right. Give me a chance to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

Dr. Levitt: As I told Carly, you're welcome to stop by anytime and visit. There are no restrictions on family.

Sonny: That's good to know.

Dr. Levitt: We understand the initial separation is very difficult for parents. I've met Mr. Jax. He seems very supportive of his wife. Do you have someone like that?

Sonny: How much do you know about my son's condition?

Dr. Levitt: He's in a permanent coma.

Sonny: Do you -- do you know how he got hurt? My son was shot in the head. He was visiting me at my coffee warehouse, my girlfriend was there. And I saw the rifle and I acted instinctively, and saved Kate’s life when I should have saved my son's life. Now, I don't regret saving her life because she was in the line of fire, but the problem is that my son got shot. And that's what put him here.

Dr. Levitt: And you feel responsible.

Sonny: Oh, I'm -- I'm responsible, and I'm going to have to deal with that the rest of my life, but my girlfriend Kate doesn't have to, you know, she doesn't deserve this kind of thing. She shouldn't be around it. To answer your question, I don't have anyone to talk to. But it seems fitting to me, because neither does my son.

>> On the next "General Hospital" --

Sam: Something is seriously wrong in this hospital.

Spinelli: Greetings of a most confident nature.

Claudia: Why would I betray my own family and team up with you?

Jax: The boys will be better off without Sonny.

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