GH Transcript Monday 4/28/08

General Hospital Transcript Monday 4/28/08


Provided By Boo
Proofread By Kathy

Patrick: I mean, sure, Robin told me her mom was a spy, but knowing it is one thing. Facing the flesh and blood reality of it, there's no prep for that.

Coleman: Wow, that must be tough.

Patrick: Picture this -- one time, she climbs down a rope through the skylight, right? I walk into the living room and there is this gorgeous woman. She's wearing a body suit, Coleman. It would've stopped your heart.

Coleman: I love that.

Patrick: Yeah, wait till she gets here. She's like a mix between Lara Croft and Emma Peel. I am telling you, there is not a man out there who wouldn't take one look at Anna Devane and at least just wonder what it would be like –

Coleman: Hi, Robin.

Robin: I didn't catch that. Wonder what?

Maxie: You're a doctor. You should help him.

Mac: Do something now.

[Spinelli moans]

Ian: How long have you been in pain?

Spinelli: Spiritually or in the physical realm? For the human condition is pain --

[Spinelli moans]

Maxie: He's in agony.

Spinelli: Please do something.

Jerry: What seems to be the problem?

Ian: He may be suffering from indigestion.

Maxie: Or he could have appendicitis and he's dying.

Spinelli: Appendic -- ow.

Mac: I'm calling an ambulance.

Jerry: I'm sure you'll want to accompany this poor, suffering genius to the hospital.

Spinelli: Please don't leave me, kind physician.

Jerry: Yes, what could be more important than a man's health? Come on, Doctor.

Claudia: Don't move.

Lulu: Sonny!

Sonny: I guess I wasn't meant to die tonight.

Patrick: Hey, you're here. Where's your mom? She's not going to break down any doors or repel out of any windows or anything, right?

Coleman: You're going to need this, my man.

Patrick: I mean, after all, this was her idea to come to Jake’s to celebrate the baby, right?

Robin: Yes, yes, it was, but she was called away on a super secret spy mission, very dangerous. But, you know, that's what happens when you're a cross between Lara Croft and, what was it? Emma Peel?

Patrick: That -- you heard that, huh?

Robin: Yeah, I heard all of it. You know, I'm not surprised that men are attracted to my mother. I mean, she used to stop traffic, literally, when she would walk me to school in the morning. She's been the cause of many fender benders, fist fights. I just -- I don't know, I just assumed that you would be an exception to the rule. Silly me.

Patrick: No, you're not understanding. I -- I am not attracted to your mother, per se.

Robin: Right.

Patrick: I'm attract -- I like the idea of your mother. Yes, she's like she stepped out of an action flick or a spy thriller --

Robin: Or a video game.

Patrick: Yeah, a video game, exactly. She's like this butt-kicking fantasy woman.

Robin: Okay -- okay, so let me get this straight. My mother is your fantasy woman.

Coleman: Okay, Robin, don't sweat it. I mean, men, we're always -- we're always thinking all kinds of things, really.

Robin: You are? Like what?

Coleman: All right, well, like -- like I always found you incredibly hot when you used to come in here with your girls, right?

Robin: Me?

Coleman: Yeah, but now that you're pregnant, you know, and you've got this whole earth mother thing working, you're even hotter than before.

Patrick: Don't be messing with my baby mama.

Cole man: Whoa! Easy, son.

Ian: You can ride in the ambulance with him.

Spinelli: No, I need a doctor.

Ian: Any first year intern can cover this.

Mac: You have someplace else to be?

Jerry: Oh, that's too bad. Your ride left without you, Doctor. Such a shame.

Spinelli: The Jackal craves medical attention.

Maxie: Spinelli's right. He needs help and you're barely even looking at him.

Ian: The paramedics will take care of you.

Jerry: Come on, shouldn't you make an effort, Hippocratic Oath and all that? Huh?

Maxie: Spinelli, it's okay. We're going to take you to the hospital. Dr. Devlin's coming with us. You're going to be fine.

[Spinelli moans]

Maxie: It's okay.

Jerry: Try to run. Wherever you go, I will find you.

Morgan: May I please speak to Michael Corinthos?

Jax: Morgan, hey. I'm sorry. We'll call back later. Michael -- Michael can't come to the phone right now. He's sleeping. Did you dial that number all by yourself? You did, huh? You know, your mom left this number to the hospital for emergencies only.

Morgan: Michael's an emergency.

Mercedes: Welcome home, Jax.

Jax: Thanks, it's good to be back.

Mercedes: Your dinner's in the fridge.

Jax: Thank you. Did you give Morgan permission to call the hospital?

Mercedes: No, I did not. But he's been talking about Michael all day. Is there any way he can visit?

Jax: No, it's a little soon for that, I'm afraid. You know the best thing you can do for your brother? You be a good boy with Mercedes. You be a good boy at school, okay? And he can say a special prayer for Michael tonight. Will you do that?

Claudia: Shooting stopped.

Jason: He's firing blind. He wants us to panic.

Claudia: Look, eventually, he's going to have to break in here. If you work for my father, you finish the job or you end up dead.

Jason: Come on, if Anthony’s really behind --

Claudia: Why is this so hard for you to understand? My father is trying to kill me. What do you think? You think -- you think it's tough for him? He's more than capable of setting up a hit from prison, Jason. He's the one who sent the shooter that shot Michael.

Johnny: Where's my sister?

Sonny: If you kill me, you're going to have to kill Lulu. Does payback mean that much to you?

Johnny: What happened to Claudia, Sonny?

Sonny: Like I told you, that bitch could be dead by now.

Lulu: Johnny, don’t. Don’t.

Johnny: If Claudia dies, so do you.

Sonny: I'm so sorry you had to see that.

Lulu: What the hell's wrong with you? You're practically daring him to kill you.

Robin: Baby mama?

Coleman: Drinks cost you double from now on, pal.

Robin: Sorry about that, Coleman.

Coleman: Yeah, I strongly suggest you find a different approach next time you want to impress your baby mama.

Robin: Okay, so if I am the baby mama, then my mom is the baby's mama's grandma? Baby mama -- mama's grandma -- mama's --

Patrick: Can we just --

Robin: Well, I'm just trying to get some clarification as to how you feel about my hot mom.

Patrick: Okay, I feel like I'm in love with you. All right? How's that for clarification?

Robin: But you're not, you know, hot for me. I mean, you know, it's not like I've ever repelled through a skylight or even taken a kick boxing class, for that matter, at the gym. I mean, my idea of a -- of a big adventure is being in the medical lab watching cells reproduce.

Patrick: Cells reproducing. I -- I'm a doctor. I think that's hot.

Robin: Really? So it's totally okay with you that I'm not some super-sexy woman that most men fantasize about?

Patrick: Honey, you, like you are, you're perfect.

Robin: But I'm not hot or exciting and obviously you're not even attracted to me anymore.

Max: Scotch, please. Make it a double. Oh, Ms. Miller. What are the odds?

Diane: Very high considering you asked me here for a drink.

Max: Shh, keep your voice down.

Diane: You're the one who's yelling.

Max: I'm sorry. If it gets back to the boss that I asked you here, for legal advice, we both could get in a lot of trouble.

Diane: Max, it's absurd. I'm not going to spend the entire evening covering for the fact that you and I are here together simply because you think the bartender may be a spy on Sonny's payroll.

Max: It's not just the bartender, okay? Anyone could walk through that door, including Mr. C. I think the boss made it very clear to both you and I that we're not supposed to see each other anymore.

Diane: I am Sonny's attorney. You are his bodyguard. So you show me where in those job descriptions it says we can't have a personal life. It doesn't, Max, it doesn’t. Sonny is our employer. He in no way get to dictate how we spend our free time. And if I want to meet a very attractive man at a bar and spend all night having hot, steamy, sweaty sex with him, that is my prerogative.

Max: All night?

Diane: And for Sonny to even insinuate that somehow me sleeping with you will throw me off my game, make me lose focus, that is not only insulting, it is patently absurd and incorrect. Not that you are not incredible, Max. Oh, my God, your flexibility alone would make most women lose their minds. But when it comes to Sonny, you're going to have to man up.

Jason: Don't try to use what happened to Michael.

Claudia: That's what you think I'm doing?

Jason: Yeah, you know I want whoever hurt Michael. You're accusing your father hoping that I get rid of him.

Claudia: What? You didn't notice? You're not in a position to get rid of anybody right now, Jason, including the guy that's out there shooting at us.

Jason: Do you have proof that Anthony sent the shooter? Yes or no.

Claudia: At this point, it's an educated guess, but, Jason, get me through this alive and I swear to you, I will go after my father. I will get you all the proof --

Jason: What?

Claudia: That you need.

Jason: What do you mean? You're going to frame him? Is that what you're going to do?

Claudia: He's a psychopath. He's crazy. You understand? He's like your friend, Sonny. I don't know how you put up with him. I didn't get to choose my father. I lost, big time, in the genetic lottery, okay? I don't know you that well, but I can see that you are focused. You are organized. You set limits. You don't mix business and pleasure. Tell me something. Why are you taking orders? Why didn't you whack that guy a long time ago and take over?

Sonny: You've been running around the past six months defending Johnny Zacchara to anyone who will listen, especially to me.

Lulu: I don't want anymore innocent people to get killed and I know that Johnny did not try to --

Sonny: You think you know Johnny? You see how he repaid your concern by shooting me in front of you? If it wasn't for pure luck, I'd be dead right now.

Lulu: You want him to kill you? You know how much he loves his sister. So why did you make it sound like you did something to Claudia?

Sonny: How do you know I didn't?

Lulu: Because you would never deliberately hurt a woman.

Sonny: Let me tell you something. If Claudia did anything to my son and I find out about it, I would kill her myself.

Lulu: She didn't and neither did Johnny.

Sonny: Well, unless you've got some inside information I'm not aware of, then you don't know what the hell you're talking about because you're just a little girl who's in way over her head, who should shut her mouth and go home.

Lulu: Did you really take Claudia or were you just trying to provoke Johnny?

Sonny: Now, let me tell you what I was doing. I wanted to see how far Johnny would take it.

Sonny: Now I know.

Spinelli: Do something, please. Help me.

Leyla: We're trying to take care of you. Just relax, relax.

Spinelli: No -- no -- no -- no -- no needles. The Jackal fears hypodermic instruments of torture. A thousand times, no. The Jackal protests. Sorry, no.

Leyla: You need to calm down, Mr. Jackal.

Maxie: Do you think that you could be a little gentler with him? He is the patient.

Leyla: Dr. Devlin's ordered a sedative.

Maxie: You can't give him that. You don't even know what he has. You can't put him to sleep yet.

Spinelli: Most unfortunate choice of words, Maximista.

Leyla: Okay, just calm down. Calm down.

Ian: Look, I want you to order a CBC and a white blood count and get a surgical consult. Then I want you to order all of my charts in ascending order by date, okay?

Leyla: You want the charts done now?

Ian: That's what I said, isn't it?

Leyla: Okay, okay.

Ian: I'm turning the case over to Dr. Behar. He's the king of appendectomies.

Maxie: What if he -- he doesn't have appendicitis. It came on so suddenly. It could be --

Ian: Well, Dr. Behar is going to have to run diagnostics for you, okay?

Spinelli: No, no, wait. Don't go. Don't go.

Ian: I'm not on your case anymore and I have somewhere to be.

Spinelli: Stay, esteemed and mysterious Dr. Devlin. Please don't leave the Jackal in his hour of need.

Ian: Let go of me, you little weirdo! What are you doing?

Spinelli: Thanks for that.

Maxie: Anytime.

Patrick: Look, all I'm saying is that I love you, all right? I'm attracted to you and I always have been. And, you know, I got to say, the only time that we have problems -- the only time is when you complicate things by over-thinking them.

Robin: Oh, okay. You don't want me to over-think your crush on my mom. That totally makes sense. I don't blame you.

Patrick: No, look -- no, I don't have a crush on your mother.

Robin: Right, you just fantasize about her.

Patrick: Look, here we go again. You're overreacting.

Robin: You know, I have an idea. Why don't you learn to play the guitar? That way you can give Eli Love a run for his money.

Patrick: Wait -- wait, roll back the tapes. Look, all I said was that your mom was hot and she is. And you know what? I'm a man and that's my opinion and I stand by it. Period.

Kelly: Patrick's hot for your mother? Ouch. That's got to hurt.

Jax: He knew it was a grand slam from the crack of his bat. And as he ran the bases, the crowd stood, cheering, and Derek ran safely home. Mercedes will give you a bath now and I'll come up and tuck you in, okay?

Morgan: I want Mommy.

Jax: Hey, your mom has to stay with Michael tonight, okay? But she loves you very much and she'll be home as soon as she can, okay? Now, run along. I'll be up in a little bit.

[Knock on door]

Jerry: Hey, brother.

Jax: Hey.

Jerry: It looks clear that Michael hasn't improved.

Jax: Well, the specialists I brought in are -- you know, they're running tests and evaluating the case.

Jerry: And any idea of what they'll say?

Jax: Right now they're saying that he's getting excellent care, which we already know.

Jerry: It has a sort of bottom of the barrel ring, doesn't it?

Jax: Yeah, well, I can bring in every specialist. Run every test there is. The result's not going to change. Michael's not going to wake up, and I don't know how Carly and I will survive losing him.

Sonny: Why'd you come here tonight? Were you following Johnny?

Lulu: Kate sent me to pick up her PDA.

Sonny: Well, thank God for Kate because if you hadn't shown up here, Johnny would have killed me.

Lulu: Which is exactly what you wanted, right?

Sonny: Does Johnny know that you go around making excuses for him?

Lulu: What Johnny did tonight was wrong, but I think that you were wrong, too.

Sonny: The whole entire way of life is wrong. The money, the power, the respect.

Sonny: The rush the danger gives you, it makes the violence inevitable. But I knew that anyway... and I took Michael to the warehouse because he was, you know, under my protection. He's been under my roof. I could take care of him. But it was a lie.

Sonny: Look where Michael is.

Sonny: You know what?

Sonny: Johnny Zacchara nearly killed me tonight. It's fine because it doesn't matter. Eventually, I'm going to kill him because that's just the way the business works. And I don't -- I don't want you to be in a -- in the middle of it. You know what I mean? To be caught in the crossfire. You know, I can't make any promises because, if you're standing next to Johnny Zacchara, you're a target. And the innocent is not protected. Look at Michael.

Maxie: What if I O.D.’d him?

Spinelli: Dr. Doom is breathing.

Maxie: Okay, let's go.

Spinelli: No, wait -- wait, no, no, we can't just leave him here.

Maxie: Why not? Somebody'll think that he's just a druggie and do an intervention. Worst case scenario, he'll sleep it off.

Spinelli: What if he wakes up? He potentially shot young Michael. I have to keep him on ice till Stone Cold comes and gives me further instruction.

Maxie: Stop right there. Jason is like some deluxe hitman, and if he's going to take out a doctor, I don't care if it's a disgusting, sleazy one, I don't want to know anything about it.

Spinelli: I -- I understand. That would be terribly upsetting.

Maxie: Hello? I would be arrested for being an accessory to murder and that would crush Mac's heart. Not to mention it would ruin my career in the fashion industry.

Spinelli: Well, then, just assist me in transporting him to a secure location. Then I'll take over and Maximista can plead ignorance. Please?

Maxie: Ugh, fine. Where do you want to take him?

Spinelli: Um...

Maxie: I know. We could take him to the locker room and make it look like he passed out in the shower.

Spinelli: Let's take him to a padded cell in the psych ward.

Maxie: The psych ward -- that's, like, eight floors up and has a ton of security guards.

Spinelli: I know, but I'll Jackal into the computer and make it look like I've recovered from my injuries --

Maxie: You know, you making this way too complicated. We should just dump the syringe and act like he passed out during your exam.

Spinelli: What if he wakes up? How can you let the shooter of an innocent child go free? He could hurt or kill someone else.

Maxie: How are we going to get him to the psych ward?

Claudia: Sonny goes after what he wants without thinking. It's bad business. You know it is. It's how you get killed.

Jason: Just stop talking.

Claudia: Or what?

Jason: I'll leave.

Claudia: You're just mad. You're mad because you know that I'm right. I'll bet you that you've always been there for Sonny. And you asked him to do one thing for you that was important to you, and he failed.

Coleman: Hello, girls.

Kelly and Lainey: Hi.

Coleman: The usual today?

Lainey: Yes, thank you.

Kelly: Yeah.

Coleman: How would you like for me to put your drinks on baby daddy's tab?

Robin: Yes.

Coleman: It's on baby daddy.

Robin: All right.

[Robin laughs]

Robin: In the meantime, you can fill in Kelly and Lainey about what you were saying about my mom. What did you call her? A butt-kicking fantasy woman, right? And then there's the baby mama.

Lainey: Baby mama?

[Robin laughs]

Robin: That would be me.

Lainey: Ooh.

Kelly: Nice work. Nice work.

Lainey: Ooh!

Kelly: Woo!

Lainey: Just like old times.

Kelly: Yeow.

Robin: I wish I could kill that bottle with you. Maybe I could forget about the fact that the father of my child is hot for my mom.

Patrick: All right, stop. Ladies, I did not say that.

Robin: You know, I wish I'd known sooner. I would've got her number for you.

Patrick: Look, you know what? As you have said on many occasions, Anna is beautiful and she's exciting and I simply agree, okay? So there we go. She's your mother, she's my baby's grandmother, and you know what? I'm out.

Kelly: Well, jeez --


Coleman: What do you need, gorgeous?

Robin: I would like a lemonade and a double order of fries. You know, if I can't drink, I'm going to have to drown my sorrows in carbs.

Coleman: You got it.

Robin: Thank you.

Lainey: You know, I don't want to interrupt your carb overload, but honestly, your situation really isn't that dire.

Robin: How do you figure?

Lainey: Do you know that men are often attracted to the mothers of the women they love?

Kelly: No.

Lainey: Yeah.

Cassius: You need some help?

Leyla: Yeah, Dr. Devlin wants his charts in ascending order by date.

Cassius: Okay, why?

Leyla: I have no idea. I was in there assisting with Spinelli, who really is a strange guy, by the way.

Cassius: Don't I know it.

Leyla: And next thing you know, he ordered some tests and gives me this assignment and practically boots me out the door.

Cassius: Is that right?

Leyla: Yeah.

Epiphany: Why do you have Dr. Devlin's charts all over my work station?

Spinelli: You can't cover his face.

Maxie: Someone's going to recognize him.

Spinelli: It'll make him look dead which will create suspicion and attract attention.

Maxie: Move, move, move.

Spinelli: Where's the psych ward?

Maxie: Turn, turn.

Epiphany: What are you staring at?

Leyla: I thought I recognized someone, but I must be imagining things.

Epiphany: I need details, Nurse Mir.

Leyla: Why is Spinelli dressed like a doctor and pushing away a gurney at warp speed?

Epiphany: Yeah.

Claudia: Sonny is too selfish to ever return your loyalty.

Jason: Why do you keep pushing this?

Claudia: Because you saved my life. That means you're good. You're too good to work for a man like that, to work for somebody that I despise.

Jason: Why -- why would I care what you think?

Claudia: I'm right. You blame yourself for little Michael getting shot because you know what a selfish bastard Sonny really is. You know careless he is. You knew. He couldn't protect that little boy.

Claudia: What? You going to leave me now? You're going to leave me in here by myself? You're going to get shot.

Jason: I'll take my chances.

Jax: At least Carly’s starting to edge out of complete denial. She realizes Michael won't be playing baseball this summer. She also acknowledges that he might have some brain damage and he might need therapy. But she still thinks he's going to wake up.

Jerry: Can you blame her? Michael's her child, her firstborn. I mean, if I were in Michael's spot, I expect Lady Jane to want to smother me with a pillow and I can't blame her.

Jax: No.

Jerry: Yes, yes. But if it were you, you know, would you -- would you want our mother to give up hope?

Jax: I'd want her to go on living, not sacrifice her life for me. I mean, Carly’s talking about bringing Michael home. I'm afraid that she will devote every second of the day to taking care of him. And what's that going to do to Morgan? I mean, how's it -- how's it going to be for Morgan having his comatose brother down the hall?

Jerry: Hey.

Jax: Hey, you ready to go to bed? I'm going to tuck you in. Come on, let's go. I'll see you later, Jerry.

Jerry: See you later. Nice pajamas.

[Knock on door]

Jerry: Hello.

Alexis: Why are you here? Is Michael okay?

Jerry: No, no, there's no change.

Alexis: You know, this is awful. I -- I haven't even been able to explain it to Kristina yet.

Jerry: No, no, the one person you need to help at the moment is Jax.

Kate: I left my PDA when I was here earlier and bringing back seemed an insurmountable task for Lulu.

Sonny: Kate, it wasn't her fault.

Kate: She was here?

Sonny: Yeah, she came by to pick up the PDA and... she saw something that distracted her. She talks tough, like her dad, you know, and like Michael used to when he used to imitate my voice. It's amazing. Kids don't know half of what they say. They just want to be like their parent.

Kate: Did something happen, Sonny?

Sonny: Yeah, my kid got shot. I screamed at another kid. Now Lulu is not going to listen to me. She's going to do the exact opposite of what I want her to do. It's just --

[Sonny groans]

Kate: You look tired.

Sonny: I'm tired. I'm tired of -- I'm tired of all of it.

Kate: Can you fix it tonight?

Sonny: My life... that I stole and killed for?

Sonny: I can't fix it. I can't fix anything.

Kate: Okay. So, how about, just for a little while -- just for a little while... you let it go? Stop looking for blame, punishment. Just let yourself rest.

Sonny: I don't deserve you. I don't deserve --

Kate: Hey, guess what? You got me anyway.

Robin: You should have heard Patrick go on and on about my mother. I mean, how could I ever compare to Anna Devane? I'm never wearing a catsuit ever again.

Kelly: You never wore a catsuit before.

Lainey: Wait, you own a catsuit?

Kelly: I do.

Lainey: Well, of course you do.

Robin: The point is that I am not an action figure and I'm definitely not some guy's fantasy.

Kelly: You know, gun-toting, karate-kicking, female super spies, they're a turn-on for a lot of men. I mean, just ask any guy who's ever been to a James Bond movie, you know?

Lainey: Listen, mothers and daughters often share traits. Not just in appearance, but, you know, personality as well. So it would stand to reason that if a man is in love with a daughter that he might be drawn to a mother with similar attributes.

Robin: Well, that would be comforting if I was anything like my mother. I mean, she's this super sexy spy who's probably crossing some hostile border right now with a fake name and jumping out of a helicopter tomorrow morning. I mean, I'm just a workaholic doctor whose idea of a wild night is ordering a double batch of fries. I mean, let's face it. I'm boring, and now I'm fat. I'm pregnant and I'm boring. No wonder my baby daddy has the hots for my mom.

Lainey and Kelly: Oh.

Robin: Drink for me, please.

Diane: If you don't stand up to Sonny, then he will always and only think about you as his ever-faithful, endlessly loyal bodyguard whom he can run roughshod over anytime he chooses.

Max: It's just, he's under a lot of stress right now. I don't want to add it by --

Diane: But, Max, that's my point. He should be concentrating on his own life, not ours. We are consenting adults. We don't need his permission to see each other.

Max: But we do need our jobs.

Diane: Oh, Max, Max, Max. You know, there comes a time in every man's life when he has to decide what is important, a paycheck or his piece of mind?

Max: So you're saying you don't care if you get fired by Sonny?

Diane: No, no. Yes, there are many perks to being Sonny's attorney. I will admit that. A closet full of couture is but one of them. But now I have my own relationship with Kate Howard. I can get samples any time I need them. I don't need Sonny's help and you don't need his interference. So what's it going to be, Max? You going to man up?

Max: Oh. Check, please.

[Diane laughs]

Diane: Yeah, yeah.

Alexis: I'm here because Jax asked me to review a legal matter.

Jerry: He's upstairs with Morgan who's having a really bad time of it. Would you like a glass of wine? It's open.

Alexis: Sure.

Jerry: Okay.

Alexis: Just don't drop anything.

Jerry: Oh, come on, it was a $5,000 chip. What did you think I was going to do with it? Throw it in the garbage?

Alexis: Well, I should have known better. It was my fault. I got down on the floor which is where you thrive.

Jerry: That's true. I mean, come on, it was a kiss under the table. I can't believe it was your first.

Alexis: What kind of woman do you think that I am?

Jerry: Well, I'm about to find out. But first of all, Jax is more important, okay?

Alexis: My, my, you're so versatile. One moment you're flirting, the next minute you're rude and inappropriate and then you're just decent.

Jerry: Oh, come on, why is it so hard to believe that I love my brother?

Alexis: Your history of amoral criminal behavior.

Jerry: What about the Cassadines? Don't the Cassadines have a long history of murder, intrigue, etc.? Perhaps we're not really that different.

Alexis: We are very different in a similar sort of way. You -- you are a very, very bad idea.

Jerry: Well, I can't disagree.

Alexis: However, I may flirt with you. I may even get down on the floor with you when I choose to. But that's as far as it's going to go.

Jerry: Cheers to that. I love the image, though.

Maxie: Why are you bringing us down here? There has to be a better place to find a computer terminal. Spinelli, this is so disgusting.

Spinelli: Look, I just need to book a padded cell for our somnolent prisoner and we'll be on our way.

Maxie: Okay, well then, I am out of here because I never agreed to cart around a doctor through an entire hospital and end up in the morgue.

Spinelli: It'll be just a minute, okay?

Maxie: Okay, well, what if he wakes up or something? You know, we really should just get out of here. You probably should just call Jason and let him handle it.

Spinelli: No, no, no, no.

[Maxie squeals]

Epiphany: What the hell is going on here? Why are you two in the morgue impersonating hospital personnel?

Maxie: What does it take to get a little privacy around this hospital? I mean, after all the hours I volunteered, pushing that book cart, handing out those meals trays, helping little kids --

Epiphany: Where's the gurney? And don't tell me you weren't pushing one. Where is it?

Maxie: On the north service elevator. And all those sheets were just made to look like a patient. That's how desperate we were for privacy. So if you think, maybe this one time, you could just turn your head so I could get romantic with Spinelli?

Epiphany: In the morgue?

Maxie: Yeah, well, sex is, like, the ultimate affirmation of life and joy so -- I mean, the morgue seemed like the right idea.

Epiphany: Don't you go anywhere near that computer and don't you say one more word to disrespect me or the dead in this place or I will personally haul you into the chief of staff's office and you can explain to him why you are making a mockery of this hospital and these poor souls who have gone on to meet their maker. Now get out of here. Go!

Lulu: I didn't think you'd come after what happened.

Johnny: Well, you called. It's the least I could do.

Lulu: I didn't follow you to Sonny's, if that's what you were thinking. Kate asked me to go get her PDA.

Johnny: What do you want, Lulu?

Lulu: If something bad happens, you're supposed to forget it, right? If there's nothing you can do, if you can't change anything --

Johnny: What do you want?

Lulu: How am I supposed to forget that you tried to kill Sonny?

Alexis: How's Morgan?

Jax: Well... I don't know what to say to him. You know, he can't understand the truth and Carly doesn't want to hear it.

Alexis: What about specialists?

Jax: Well, they're running their tests, but there is nothing they can really change. And in the meantime, Carly’s only been home a few hours since the shooting. Morgan's asking questions. He wants to go to the hospital to visit Michael. Carly wants to bring him home. I want to help everyone, of course, but there's nothing I can do.

Alexis: You're here. You're doing everything. You sat with Carly all day. You're going out of your way to bring in any specialists that's necessary --

Jax: It's not enough. That's why I brought you here. I want you to draw up paperwork for Sonny to renounce all parental rights to Michael and Morgan.

Alexis: What would be the point?

Jax: Look, it -- he's a disaster, okay? He's already destroyed Michael's life and I won't let that happen to Morgan. I want to adopt both my stepsons.

Kate: I'm just so worried about you, Sonny.

Sonny: I know you want me to walk away somehow, and not go after the people who did this to my son, but I got to tell you, I can't -- I can’t. That's not going to happen. And it doesn't mean I don't love you. It doesn't mean I don't respect your opinion. It doesn't mean that, you know, I don't want you in my life.

Kate: Okay, okay. We don't have to solve all that right now.

Sonny: Can I tell you something? Will you listen to me? Johnny Zacchara tried to kill me tonight. He shot me point blank. And it's just a freak accident or a miracle that I'm still alive.

Lulu: Sonny doesn't have Claudia. He doesn't even know where she is.

Johnny: Is that what he told you?

Lulu: He's grieving. He -- he was goading you to shoot him.

Johnny: I don't care. The truth is I want Sonny dead. And the only reason I stopped shooting tonight is because of you.

Maxie: If Epiphany catches us down here again, she's going to do worse than turn us in to Dr. Ford. She's going to call my dad.

Spinelli: Fear not. The Jackal is a master of stealth.

Maxie: Okay, well, why can't we just leave Ian here and have Jason take care of it?

[Whizzing sound]

Spinelli: Wait.

Maxie: Is that a saw?

Spinelli: The type a coroner would use on a corpse.

Maxie: Stop!

Spinelli: He's alive!

Man: Drop the knife.

Claudia: Okay, look, whatever my father is paying you, I will double it.

Man: You're going to die anyway. But first, what do you say we have a little fun?


Jason: Let her go.

Man: Drop the gun or she dies.

>> On the next "General Hospital" --

Kate: You can end this.

Sonny: Johnny Zacchara tried to kill me. I'm going to kill him.


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