GH Transcript Wednesday 1/2/08

General Hospital Transcript Wednesday 1/2/08


Provided By Boo
Proofread by Kathy

Luke: Oh, damn!

[Knock on door]

Luke: I got no more blood to give! I'm tapped out! Ernesto.

Ernesto: El jefe.

Luke: Hey. So good to see you, my friend.

[Ernesto chuckles]

Luke: How's Fidel?

Ernesto: Well, the last time I saw castor, he looked better than you.

Luke: No need to be insulting. I mean, he's el presidente. I'm just one of the great unwashed.

Ernesto: Now, there's a politically astute observation.

Luke: Did you happen to bring me a little get-well present?

Ernesto: Well, I found these at a gift shop -- in Havana.

Luke: Oh, man. Thank you, thank you. You have saved my life!

[Ernesto chuckles]

Luke: I can't believe they traded him to the Knicks. Uh-uh.

Ernesto: Uh-uh.

Lucky: Hey. Do you know if my dad is in his room? I know they were supposed to be taking him down for some tests today.

Elizabeth: Yeah, but not until this afternoon.

Lucky: Thanks.

Elizabeth: Sure.

Lucky: You know, this is stupid.

Elizabeth: Yeah, it is.

Lucky: Happy New Year --

Elizabeth: How was your new year?

Lucky: Um -- fine. I thought you had to work. Well, when I called in, they said that you took the night off.

Elizabeth: So now, you're checking up on me?

Diane: Michael Corinthos Jr. He was arrested last night. Assault. Yes, I will hold. I swear to God, the entire New York legal system is --

Jason: Diane, we need to find -- we need to find out where they're holding him. Spinelli, what do you got?

Spinelli: Look, I -- I've infiltrated the database, but the municipality's software is so primitive I'd be better served to hack into it with a hammer and a chisel.

Jason: Just keep at it. Sonny doesn't do well in lockup.

Diane: Oh, my God!

Jason: What is it?

Diane: Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!

Spinelli: Wait, wait -- is it Mr. Corinthos, Sir?

Diane: I will call you back. No, it's not Sonny -- it's me! I have just been nominated for litigator of the year. Oh, my God!

[Diane laughs]

Alexis: I don't have time right now for Jerry Jacks and his patented version of verbal thrust and parry. As you can see, my hands are full.

Jerry: Well, I can see, then let me help you with --

Alexis: I don't need your help.

Jerry: Yes, yes, you do --

Alexis: Let go of my papers.

Jerry: You see? All these trees had to die so you could have me exactly where you want me, which is on my knees, darling.

Alexis: Then why don't you be a good little boy and crawl on out of here? Oh, my God.

Jerry: What?

Alexis: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Alexis screams]

Jerry: What --

Alexis: I've just been nominated for litigator of the year!

Jerry: My, my, my. "Alexis Davis, Esq.," If you please. "This letter is to inform you that the Women Attorneys' Association has hereby nominated you for litigator of the year"! Blah, blah, blah -- "for excellence in jurisprudence --"

Alexis: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jerry: "Innovative, intellectual interrogatives," blah, blah, blah -- "prudent principles of precedent," etc., etc., etc. It sounds very prestigious.

Alexis: Oh, it is -- it really is. Past recipients have gone on to sit on the federal bench. I know someone -- ended up on the Supreme Court.

Jerry: Well, I'd love to -- I mean, I'd pay to see that. I mean, you dressed up in black, holding court? You know, the American judicial system's abandonment of the traditional powdered wig is such a shame -- such a shame, really.

Alexis: You better pray that the day doesn't come where I'm staring down at you from that bench because I will throw the book at you.

Jerry: Oh, well, then you'd have to recuse yourself because of our personal involvement.

Alexis: There's nothing personal about our involvement.

Jerry: Oh, well, I would think that the -- you know, the "Litigator of the Year" would be a much better liar.

Alexis: I haven't won yet.

Jerry: But you will. And I want to be a witness of your success, so Alexis Davis, Esq., will you do me the honor of allowing me to escort you to the Women Attorneys' Association's dinner for "Litigator of the Year"?

Alexis: That would be an imprudent principle of precedent, one that I have no intention of setting.

Diane: This letter reads like my biography. "Excellence in jurisprudence --" yeah, well. "Innovative intellectual interrogatives." "Prudent principles of precedent." Well, it looks like the Women's Attorneys' Association is finally about to recognize --

Spinelli: Who is the most judicious one of all.

Diane: No!

Spinelli: You!

Diane: Oh! I can tell by the look on your face that you're very happy for me.

[Knock on door]

Max: Jason, we got to call the guys that put the hose on the espresso machine. We're losing customers and we're expecting one of those surprise health department inspections --

Jason: I, I can't -- I can't talk about it right now, Max.

Max: Hey, Diane.

Diane: Hey.

Max: I heard you got some good news. I could hear you from the street.

Diane: Yes, I did.

Max: Yeah?

Spinelli: Our own petitioner here has pending peelaudation.


Max: Oh, congratulations, I think.

Diane: Well, thank you, Max! What am I doing just standing here? I've got a speech to write. And the dress -- the dress has got to say so much more!

Jason: Diane -- Diane, Sonny would --

Diane: It's got to be a knockout! But not too flashy -- like a closing argument before the verdict is brought back in. "Diane Miller, Esq., We, the jury, have deliberated and have unanimously found you to be “Litigator of the Year'!" Oh, and it shows, too.

Jason: Great.

Ric: Well, I'm surprised to see you here. Thought you'd be in Manhattan. What's the matter -- Sonny used his last "get out of jail" free card?

Diane: Just because your world revolves around Sonny doesn't mean that the rest of us need to be dragged down into orbit. While you're out looking for a life, see if you can find a better tie.

Ric: Ahem.

Elizabeth: They didn't need me to stay here -- it was a slow night. And I had already paid Regina to watch the kids, so I had some alone time, a chance to reflect on the past year and all the changes. And then, I went home. Does that alibi satisfy you, Detective?

Lucky: I thought I'd be spending it with you -- and with the boys, family. Around 7:00, my phone rang and I found myself hoping that it was you even though all that's gone on between us -- ahem.

Elizabeth: It's been pretty bad.

Lucky: Not all bad. I know that Jake -- he's not mine. And we're pretending to the world that he is, you know, so we can keep him safe. If going back changing things meant that he wouldn't be a part of my life, I don't think I'd want to do it.

Elizabeth: So you were alone, too?

Lucky: No, I was with Sam.

Lulu: Hey. How's Dad?

Lucky: I was about to find out. See ya.

Luke: Hmm.

Tracy: Who is this man?

Luke: This is Ernesto.

Tracy: Ernesto?

Ernesto: You got me there.

Luke: Yeah, he -- he's a musician. Used  to play at Luke’s. Plays a mean steel drum.

Ernesto: Chu-ga-ga-ga.

[Ernesto vocalizes rhythm]

Tracy: You said he saved your life?

Luke: Oh, he's saved my life many times -- in Haiti?

Ernesto: With the habanos.

Luke: And in Bolivia --

Ernesto: With the la -- la por larranaga.

Luke: Yep, yep.

Ernesto: Ah, and don't forget Costa Rica.

Luke: Oh, yeah, that runaway banana truck.

Ernesto: Oh. Oh -- whew.

Luke: Ah. My familia. Too bad we don't have steel drums and a set of congas. We could -- you know, my wife does a mean mambo. Show him your moves, mama.

Ernesto: Well, perhaps some other time, mambo king, huh?

Luke: Hmm.

Ernesto: Where does the time go?

Luke: I don't know, but it's so good to see you.

Ernesto: See you.

Luke: Adios, my friend.

Ernesto: Adios. Con permiso.

Lulu: Yeah.

Tracy: Banana truck?

Luke: Yeah, it was something. Yeah -- yeah, it was dangerous. So, what brings the fruit of my loom to my bedside?

Lucky: Oh, we stopped by to see how you were feeling and looks like you're doing better.

Lulu: You got some color in your cheeks.

Tracy: Yeah -- must mean you're up to something.

Tracy: So, no drinking, no smoking, and no fatty foods.

[Luke slaps Tracy]

Tracy: Ow! And no excitement!

Luke: The real danger here is that I'm going to stall out in neutral after living life at full throttle. You know, I run on steak for fuel, scotch for oil, and Cuban stogies for exhaust.

Tracy: Yeah, well, that was before you blew your transmission out. Now you got to keep it in the garage -- hmm?

Lucky: So you don't crash and burn.

Luke: Well, if I can't go out in a blaze of fire and glory, sell me for scrap.

Tracy: Who'd have you but me?

Luke: Hmm.

Lucky: At least take it easy for a bit. Wait until you get your strength before swerving into the fast lane -- you know, like rest and eat.

Lulu: Yeah, yeah. The doctors gave you a --

Luke: I ain't through with that yet.

Lulu: A low-fat, low-salt diet.

All: Ew!

Lucky: Ooh.

Lulu: Hmm.

Luke: Cover it, cover it, cover it! I know what the doctors have said. Believe me; I'm going to follow everything they said to the letter. You don't need to worry about me.

Lulu: Do you want me to keep you company?

Luke: I don't need you to watch me, feed me, or police me. I'm going to do nothing, nothing at all to undermine this recovery.

Lulu: You crash your carburetor?

Luke: Yeah -- what's left of it. Huh.

Alexis: I just wanted to thank you once again for that nomination because it's -- it's really an honor. It means a lot to me. Yeah. Uh -- I'll be coming alone. Just me. No date. Well, okay. I look forward to seeing you, too. Thank you. Hi, Carly.

Carly: Hello. Here you go.

Alexis: Oh. What's this?

Carly: That is a notice to vacate the premises.

Alexis: Yes, I can see what it is because I'm an attorney, you know? It says so right on the door. It's just why are you giving it to me?

Carly: Failure to pay rent -- first December, now January.

Alexis: I'm sorry. I just switched business managers, so I'm sure they're playing catch-up. I will have a check issued to you today.

Carly: You know what? Just because Jax for some crazy reason considers you a good friend doesn't mean you get to walk all over him.

Alexis: No -- that's your job.

Carly: I hope you don't think you can stay in my hotel without paying. Let's get that straight, okay?

Alexis: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It was snippy, immature. I -- I will promise you that I will have the check issued to you and this will never happen again.

Carly: Fine.

[Alexis sighs]

Alexis: Carly? You know, you're right. I am fortunate to have a friend like Jax. He is the most wonderful person in the whole world.

Carly: Okay, and?

Alexis: And as the Metro Court's one and only deadbeat attorney tenant, I want to offer you as restitution my unsolicited advice. Do whatever you can to make Jax happy. We both know he deserves it.

Ric: So apparently, Sonny decided to ring in the New Year in the Big Apple and got pinched by the NYPD for assault.

Jason: If you know where he's being held, tell us. If not, get out.

Ric: No, see, that's not my jurisdiction, so I have no obligations. And since Sonny's counsel has apparently been bitten by the fashion bug, it looks like Sonny will be wearing prison blues well into the new year.

Emily: Baby –

Nikolas: I'm not going to question why or how you're here anymore, okay?

Emily: Oh, okay. Maybe that's best.

Nikolas: Yeah.

Nikolas: You know, I'm constantly haunted by the wasted moments that we had together when life got in the way. Like sleeping next to you and not taking the time to reach out and touch your hair like this. Standing next to you while you're brushing your teeth and not showing you how much that makes me smile.

Emily: Hmm. You can show me now.

Nikolas: I know. I'm just afraid.

Emily: Yeah, tell me.

Nikolas: Oh, where do I start?

Emily: Anywhere.

Nikolas: I still don't believe that you're real. But then, that's not any different than how I felt about you when you were alive. The too few times I was able to push my life aside and really see you, I kept asking myself if you were really there. If this -- this beautiful and brilliant woman was truly by my side. And that makes me angry.

Emily: Well, these -- these episodes of rage -- are you still having them?

Nikolas: No. No, it seems that I've traded mad for madness. The only person I beat up anymore is myself.

Emily: Don’t. Okay? You can dwell in the past or you can live in the present, without questioning it, remember? I'm here, now.

Nikolas: What about the future?

Lulu: Nikolas, how are you?

Nikolas: Hi. I'm better.

Lulu: I just got done visiting with my dad.

Nikolas: H -- how is he?

Lulu: He's Luke.

Nikolas: Well, then he's doing okay.

Lulu: Yeah, I guess so.

Nikolas: So, are you making your rounds to all your sick relatives?

Lulu: You have a problem with that?

[Nikolas chuckles]

Nikolas: No, no, just for a moment there, you sounded like Mom.

Lulu: Well, it -- with everything happening with my dad, I didn't want you to think that I forgot that you're grieving. You want to get outside of these four walls and get into some light?

Nikolas: Yeah. Yes, Luke always did describe this place as seasonally depressive.

[Lulu laughs]

Nikolas: It seems to be always winter here.

Lulu: Well, it's not too cold outside. We could take Spencer for a walk. Though, we won't get very far since he stops every two feet to look at every leaf.

Emily: And rock and twig. Remember how he used to always do that with me?

Nikolas: Um -- yeah, a walk. Sure.

Alexis: Speaking of which, guess which female, who happens to be your mother, was nominated for "Woman Litigator of the Year"? Yeah! Thanks. I'm thrilled, too. Listen, I'm a little torn right now about asking if you'll baby-sit the kids while I'm in Philadelphia, or asking you to go to Philadelphia with me, because you'd be the one person in the audience that isn't parsing every word of my acceptance speech when I win. No, Viola can't do it because she already made plans and she can't change them. Really? Oh, good. Thank you. All right, I'll talk to you later. I've got to go buy shoes.

Diane: Okay, now, I have a pair of devastating four-inch heels I could wear with this one. Is this Italian?

Maxie: The latest from Paris.

Diane: Oh. Well, the French are back in. After that freedom fries fiasco, they've done some very good P.R. work. And you cannot argue with their use of line. Still, this looks like something Toulouse Lautrec would sketch at the Moulin Rouge. Hmm.

Maxie: Okay -- um -- how about that one?

Diane: Oh. Uh -- this is just hopeless. I am -- I need counsel. What I really need is Kate Howard, but she has retreated to Manhattan, a withdrawal partially based on my recommendation. She's going to live longer, but it was a tad shortsighted, don't you think?

Maxie: Why don't you call her?

Diane: I need something that pops off the page, that is absolutely fabulous -- screams "award winner" in big, bold, bright, iridescent neon -- in an understated way, of course.

Maxie: Of course.

[Diane sighs]

Spinelli: It is with great feelings of trepidation that I must now pronounce my quest on information concerning Mr. Corinthos, Sir's bust a bust.

Jason: Okay, you're telling me there's no information on Sonny's arrest?

Carly: Why was Sonny arrested?

[Jason sighs]

Jason: Simple assault. He had a disagreement with a guy in an art gallery in the city.

Carly: What was Sonny doing in an art gallery? Oh. Let me guess.

Jason: We can't find him anywhere.

Carly: He's still locked up?

Jason: Yeah.

Carly: You know how he gets when he's locked up, Jason.

Spinelli: Fear not, Valkyrie. The Jackal will redouble his efforts and --

Jason: You know what? Forget it. You already took your shot, okay?

Spinelli: No, look, I can cross-reference all the collars from the last --

Jason: Cross-- just, I'm going to handle it.

Spinelli: Very well.

Carly: I hate to say it, okay, but if Sonny got himself arrested because of some stupid stunt he's trying to pull for Kate Howard, maybe it's exactly what he needs to realize that she's not right for him.

Max: Hey, is that what I think it is?

Spinelli: Just taking a leisurely perusal of the schedule for the city health inspector.

Max: So a surprise visit will no longer be a surprise.

Spinelli: Well, the surprise is that it's today.

Max: Today? Today? We're never going to be ready. We can't just --

Spinelli: "Excellent." "Excellent."

Max: What are you doing?

Spinelli: "Excellent" -- I'm just entering our grades -- "excellent" and "excellent." This concludes our surprise health inspection.

Max: What, we passed?

Spinelli: Surpassed. We are now the standard for all coffee houses throughout the municipality.

Max: Great work. I don't have to fix that stupid leak on the espresso machine. Nice. Hey, buddy, you're pretty keyed up, even for you. How many espressos you drink?

Spinelli: Actually, what drives -- what drives me is the desire to fill the vacuum that is my idle mind, lest the winds of remembrance blow thoughts of Georgie into my mind. You know, I -- I discovered after her parting that she liked me.

[Spinelli chuckles]

Spinelli: She liked me a lot more than I knew, and that I had a chance -- that we had a chance, and of course, now that's gone.

Max: Yeah, buddy, that's rough.

Spinelli: Yeah, all -- all I have are her words. By mere chance, they came to me, just like the sweet breath of a lover on your pillow as you dream. And I tried to respond in kind, to actually -- to write a letter back, which, of course, her eyes, like shooting stars, would never see, but, alas, I, the Jackal -- the legend of lexicon, I -- I found myself wordless.

Max: That never happens?

Spinelli: Almost as rare as true love, right? And so --

[Spinelli sighs]

Spinelli: You know, with Stone Cold lamenting for noble Emily and vying for vengeance, I decided that I would, you know, sniff out the trail of the text-message killer. But alas, the rat hides in a maze that I have no map for. And so, as a last resort, I have decided to accept the humble role of reaping red tape that could ensnare Stone Cold. You know, if I can just remove the simple nuisance of this bureaucratic drive-by, he'll have more time and -- and freedom to focus his mind on things that are most important. So that is what I am going to do.

Max: Great work. Just don't get us caught.

Spinelli: Oh, God, the day that the ace of cyberspace falls prey to a corpulent city capitol pencil pusher is the day they make snow angels in Hades. i.e., a cold day in hell O, "city health inspector"? Ha-ha!

Health inspector: Is it cold in here, or is it just me?

Spinelli: You –

Jason: What Sonny and Kate do -- it's not my business, Carly. It's not your business, either.

Carly: Sonny knows better than to get himself in a tight spot far away from home where his people can't get to him.

Jason: I'm working on it right now.

Carly: He's lost his head over Kate -- don't you see that?

Jason: Are you sure it's his head that you're worried about?

Carly: That's funny. That's really funny. Sonny and I are over, okay, we're history with a capital H. I'm with Jax, I'm happy with a capital H.

Jason: Capital H. I get it.

Carly: That doesn't mean that I'm not always going to care about Sonny, that I'm not always going to be worried about Sonny. Sonny and Kate are never going to work. Just like you and Elizabeth are never going to work.

Jason: Okay, Carly --

Carly: Certain women cannot be with certain men.

Jerry: [Foreign accent] This shipment of product is critical. If anything goes wrong, it can break us.

Man: So what do you want me to do?

Jerry: I want you to minimize the risk, starting with Stanford Johnson.

Man: The guy you sent south?

Jerry: Yes, that's the one. See, we hired him away from the Corinthos organization for his logistical prowess. But now that all the pieces are together, he's to be terminated.

Man: His employment?

Jerry: His life. We can't have him go back to his former employer and share trade secrets. You see, he's down in Florida, so when the ax falls, my hands remain clean.

Epiphany: Cassius? Cassius! Cassius!

Cassius: Oh -- sorry, Nurse Johnson. Were you calling me?

Epiphany: Just at the top of my lungs.

Cassius: Oh. Speaking of some beautiful pipes, Toussaint Dubois and his saints. I mean, you seemed so moved by his music the other day. I went home, downloaded some of his music -- the skinny on it -- his music is tight.

Epiphany: Is it, now?

Cassius: It is.

Epiphany: And will it be as skinny as your wallet when you don't have a job? You can have this back at the end of your shift.

Cassius: Yes, Nurse Johnson.

[Cassius hums]

Epiphany: And no humming.

Leyla: It's going to be a long shift.

Nadine: Long year.

Epiphany: 1002 needs a dressing change. 1006 needs a sponge bath. 1011 needs a catheter.

Nadine: What'd you do for New Year’s, Nurse Johnson?

Epiphany: I spent New Year’s Eve waiting for my son to call me. And like poor Mr. Adelson in 1011, I'm still waiting.

Ric: Do you like this tie?

Skye: Your message said it was urgent. I would've thought you were big enough to dress yourself by now.

Ric: Never mind.

Skye: So tell me, is this business or pleasure?

Ric: Oh, business with you, Skye, is always a pleasure. No, I -- I just wanted to reiterate my offer to help you broker the sale of those piers that you inherited from Mr. Alcazar.

Skye: Well, both Sonny and the Zaccharas have shown interest, but I haven't received any hard bids. So tell me, have the dynamics of the market changed?

Ric: Yes, indeed they have.

Skye: I'm listening.

Ric: Well, it appears that Sonny has been arrested for assault in New York City. Seeing as how he's otherwise occupied, it's a perfect time to approach the Zaccharas.

Skye: Or a perfect time to stick it to your brother.

Skye: So, after Anthony Zacchara stabbed you, I sat with you on what should have been your deathbed and watched your brother bleed for you. But maybe that just further whet your appetite for a pound of Sonny's flesh.

Ric: Maybe it did.

Skye: I thought you were done with that vendetta.

Ric: I'm finding it a hard habit to break.

Skye: Hmm. Most addictions are. So you don't forget, I'm one of Port Charles' original revenge junkies. I realize that no matter how long it took me to get my fix, I still ended up empty and alone.

Ric: You know, maybe you just needed somebody to share the highs with.

Skye: Yes, but with those highs come the inevitable lows. Been there, done that.

Ric: Okay, so what are you doing now? I mean, now that you finished your 12-step program, what's next for you? I mean, you obviously have a wealth of assets.

Skye: Well, the waterfront properties are certainly one of them.

Ric: No, come on, Skye, I'm not talking about real estate. You're a bright and beautiful woman and you're obviously trying to start a new life for yourself.

Skye: Well, I'm trying, for my daughter's sake.

Ric: Well, begs a few questions, then, doesn't it?

Skye: Such as?

Ric: Why are you answering my phone calls? Why are you here in my office? Why are you hanging around with an addict like me?

Skye: Maybe I think you need a sponsor.

Ric: Oh. That's sweet. You going to save me?

Skye: Well, you're certainly handsome, brilliant --

Ric: Oh --

Skye: Dynamic -- hmm.

Ric: Oh, please, no.

Skye: All the traits that play to my weaknesses.

Ric: Yeah.

Skye: Mm-hmm.

Ric: I am good at that.

Skye: Maybe there's a few you haven't really gotten around to, though.

Ric: Well, give me some time. You know, I cleared my entire day.

Skye: So I'm your only meeting?

Ric: Yeah, my only one.

Alexis: Hi.

Maxie: Hi.

Alexis: Thanks for coming.

Maxie: No problem.

Alexis: I'm going to an awards dinner in Philadelphia, so I need a dress.

Maxie: Let me guess -- you want something that screams "award winner."

Alexis: I don't know if I want it to scream. Maybe proclaim in a loud voice. Maybe a whisper -- sometimes people hear you better when you're speaking softly. It's too bad Kate Howard’s not here, you know, because I could really use her help.

Maxie: Well, why don't I just show you what we have?

Alexis: Oh, Maxie. I'm sorry, honestly. I'm going on about dresses and awards and things and -- are you okay?

Maxie: Well, it's not so bad when I'm not at home. It's walking through the front door that really gets me. Georgie used to wait up to make sure I got home okay.

Alexis: I lost my sister and we weren't nearly as close as you and Georgie were. Is your mother around?

Maxie: I'm sure you heard about the funeral.

Alexis: Mothers make mistakes.

Maxie: My mom leaving was not a mistake, it was a choice. She had her life to lead. She didn't want her children getting in the way.

Nikolas: Oh, that was great. Taking that walk with you and Spencer was everything I thought I'd never experience again.

Emily: So --

Nikolas: Yeah.

Emily: You feeling better?

Nikolas: Uh -- what if I die? What if this thing kills me? Then what?

Emily: Nikolas, your love for me beat cancer. And I truly believe that. And now I'm sitting here beside you. We cheated death.

Nikolas: Oh. What's a little brain tumor, right?

Emily: Yeah. Against our love? Nothing. So, page 243?

Nikolas: Page 243.

[Luke chuckles]

Luke: I'm right here, wife. I'm not hiding under the bed.


Luke: What?

Cassius: All right, buddy. Now, you ready?

Luke: Yes, yeah, I'm ready. But I warn you both -- unless you want a lawsuit, my wife thinks that I am marked "handle with care."

Leyla: Oh, always. You're recovering, so you're fragile.

Cassius: All right, this end up.

Luke: Ah, you got that right.

Cassius: Easy -- there we go.

Luke: Thank you.

Cassius: You okay?

Luke: Yeah, good. Thanks, Cassius.

Cassius: All right.

Luke: Thank you. Bye. Oh. If you tell me what you're looking for, maybe I can help you find it.

[Monitor beeps]

Tracy: Any contraband your little friend Ernesto might have smuggled in here.

Luke: You know, if I weren't under strict orders not to get excited, you and I were going to have a big, fat argument.

Tracy: I know you, Luke. If you're not cheating, you're not breathing.

Luke: You judge me harshly, wife.

Tracy: I don't have to. Your conscience is doing a perfectly good job in there all by itself.

Luke: "Conscience." Am I talking in my sleep?

Tracy: Not yet.

Luke: But you've been listening.

Tracy: Luke, I keep a very close eye, ear, and nose on you at all times.

Luke: And I wouldn't have it any other way. Come on.

[Luke pats bed]

Luke: Come on. Come to papa.

Tracy: Oh.

Luke: Come on, baby. That's it. Relax.

Tracy: I don't want to lose you.

Luke: Huh. The way you were tossing this room, you'd probably find me if you did.

Tracy: I'm not kidding. I want to grow old with you. Don't even think about it.

Luke: Spanky, there are a lot of more miles left in this old ticker before it's going to stop.

Tracy: But since your heart belongs to me, I want you to take better care of it.

Luke: Okay.

Tracy: I'm going to let you rest.

Luke: Then rest, I shall.

Tracy: Can I get you some water?

Luke: No. No water. No, I'll just sleep. But I could have Sassius record all my mumblings so you can listen to me snore.

[Luke giggles]

Tracy: I love you.

Luke: I love you, too.

Luke: Ha-ha!

Luke: Oh. Hmm. Ah, yeah.

Luke: Mmm.

Luke: Ah.

[Luke coughs]


[Luke wheezes]


Alexis: Ric?

Ric: Yeah, just a minute. Yeah, come in. Alexis.

Alexis: Ah. I didn't mean to interrupt a meeting.

Skye: No, I can go.

Ric: No, no, no.

Alexis: No, don't -- sit. You look very comfortable. So if you're in the middle of a merger of some sort, I don't want to interrupt.

Ric: No, no. Uh, thanks for coming.

Health inspector: Let's see what we have. There is "obtaining unauthorized access to the health department's mainframe, falsifying government documents," and you have a leaky hose under your espresso machine.

Spinelli: Uh, fair and just keeper of the permits, I mean, you have obviously misinterpreted what was in actuality just a foolhardy and innocuous shenanigans. See, I would never, ever endeavor to circumvent the necessary and prudent safeguards of your hallowed code.

Diane: There seems to be a misunderstanding.

Health inspector: I'm very clear on what's going on. Here you go.

Diane: If -- if I may. Mr. Spinelli is a deeply disturbed young man who, while completely harmless, lacks certain social skills.

Spinelli: Well, I --

Diane: Don't -- stop. Hmm. Mr. Morgan has taken in and provided for this neer-do-well, who --

[Diane chuckles]

Diane: Without this act of charity would certainly burden an already overburdened system.

Health inspector: Is this true?

Diane: And Mr. Morgan will be more than happy to pay any fine that Mr. Spinelli's juvenile prank may have incurred.

Health inspector: And for the leaky hose?

Diane: Including the leaky hose, absolutely.

Health inspector: Keep an eye on him.

Jason: No choice.

Diane: Now that we have all that settled, can I ask you a question? Is that scarf a Marisol Deluna?

Health inspector: It is.

Diane: I recognize good taste. So, if you have to choose a gown to wear to accept a very prestigious award, would you go Armani or Neela Llorente?

Health inspector: Armani.

Diane: Armani? Hmm.

Man: We got a man on Stan Johnson. As soon as he's clear of witnesses, he's roadkill.

[Phone rings]

Elizabeth: 10th floor, Nurse Webber. Yes, she is. We've been waiting for your call. Guess who?

Epiphany: Hmm. Well, now, your ears must have been burning. Florida? Now what in God's name are you doing all the -- hmm. Stanford, listen. No, I don't want to fight with you. No, I -- I just want to tell you that I miss you and -- and I love you, and I've made a new year's resolution to always tell you how proud I am of you. Yeah, every day. At least every time you call. Yes. Stanford? Stanford?

Elizabeth: Epiphany?

Epiphany: The -- there was a crash and -- and then the line went dead.

>> On the next "General Hospital" --

Man: He committed assault, and he's not going anywhere.

Tracy: Oh, my God. I need help in here!

[Monitor flatlines]

Judge Luke: Your soul is on trial.

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