GH Transcript Wednesday 6/27/07

General Hospital Transcript Wednesday 6/27/07


Provided By Boo
Proofread by Kathy

Tracy: Hmm.

Alan: If I were to hazard a guess, I would say that this is a classic example of the cosmic hammer of fate landing on your head. You see, what goes around comes around to bite you in the butt.

Tracy: Now you're hazarding guesses? It seems to me, if anybody should know anything with any degree of certainty, it would be the dearly departed. And yet, there you stand, direct from the great beyond, clueless.

Alan: Yeah, the only thing is, though, I can leave here anytime I want, and you are stuck in the loony bin. So, how's that ill-gotten money of yours working for you?

Tracy: Don't gloat, Alan. It's unattractive. And while you're at it, stop haunting me! I can't hear myself "think" with all your yammering.

Alan: Why don't you just pull up a straitjacket and make yourself comfortable? Because no one is coming here to bail you out, Tracy. You've been a total bitch to the entire family, the staff, and Luke is nowhere to be found because he's out rescuing the woman he really loves.

Tracy: Thanks, Alan. That was unnecessary.

Alan: You know what the really sad part is? I miss my chair.

Tracy: Well, are you here to add your voice to the "let's drive Tracy really crazy" session?

Lulu: No, I am here to help.

Michael: Hey. Um -- did you find Jax?

Carly: Yes, of course I found Jax.

Michael: Then where is he?

Carly: Jax didn't want to come home. But he did want me to tell you guys that he missed you, and that he loved you, and I'm supposed to give you big hugs. Okay? You want to give me a hug? You know, Morgan, can you go upstairs and put on some big boy clothes for me? Thank you. Your brother will be right up. This is a little difficult for Morgan to understand.

Michael: You and Jax are getting a divorce, already?

Diane: Jason --

Jason: Whew.

Diane: I just have to be brutally honest with you. I think that petitioning for bail again is an exercise in futility. And worse, you risk angering the judge.

Jason: I don't care, Diane. I have to get out of here.

Diane: I understand your frustration. I am well aware of the nature of your family emergency.

Amelia: I'm sorry to interrupt. We have an important matter to discuss.

Jason: Actually, I'm in a meeting here with my lawyer.

Diane: My client has a pivotal bail hearing this morning.

Amelia: Trust me, Jason; you'll want to hear what I have to say. It's about someone very close to your heart.

[Knock on door]

Alexis: Hi.

Sam: It's you.

Alexis: I did try to call you first, but you weren't answering your telephone.

Sam: I don't really feel like talking.

Alexis: May I come in?

Sam: You're here. Whew.

Alexis: What is that?

Sam: I'm glad you asked. This -- this is Jason's box of baby memories. Look, we have Carly with Michael and Morgan. Robin with Michael. Jason with Michael. Missing in here?

Alexis: Sam, I know what you're doing.

[Tracy sighs]

Tracy: I'm surprised to see you.

Alan: You're really in for a surprise if you think Lulu's here to help you.

Lulu: Well, I was waiting for someone in the family to step up and do something about getting you out, but that doesn't look like it's going to happen.

Tracy: Monica is vindictive, petty trailer trash.

Alan: Hey, watch it.

Tracy: And my father is resentful of my success at ELQ. He never thought a woman could run the family business. And he can't stand the fact that I'm better at it than he is.

Alan: What about the small matter that you really stuck it to him and cut him out of my will?

Tracy: Leaving me here to rot is classic Quartermaine revenge.

Alan: They also think that you see ghosts. Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.

Tracy: Will you shut up?

Lulu: Okay, no offense, Tracy, but you talk to furniture, okay? Your family thinks you're a wack job.

Tracy: Which begs the question -- do you?

Maxie: You know what I just realized? I'm actually happy for the first time since -- I can't even remember when.

Coop: He really hurt you. Lucky, I mean. You are so amazing, so special. I don't -- I don't get how Lucky missed that.

Maxie: Lucky had a lot on his plate. He was injured. His partner had just been killed. His marriage was in trouble. And he developed an addiction to pain pills. I didn't figure high on his list of priorities unless I was supplying him with drugs. And when we were like this, even though I knew it at the time and I couldn't admit it, the only thing on Lucky's mind was the bag of pills I was holding hostage. It was a sad and desperate time, but things are different with you. I think you're good for me.

Coop: I like making you happy. Seeing you all soft and vulnerable.

Maxie: I think those are two words that maybe have never been used to describe me.

Coop: That is because you put up a tough front and pretend like nothing matters.

Maxie: What if it's not a front?

Coop: I know you're not like that.

Logan: You wanted to see me. Here I am.

Carly: Hey, Jax and I are not getting a divorce. That's not why he didn't come home. He's just doing what he feels he needs to do for his brother.

Michael: Then why are you trying not to cry?

Carly: Because I look at you and I see that you're confused. And even though I'm trying really hard to understand why Jax is doing this, I miss him, a lot.

Michael: You said you were going to make him come home.

Carly: I shouldn't have said that. You know, we -- we can't force people to do what we want them to do, because then they're just going to resent you for it. We can just tell them how we feel and hope that they respect that.

Michael: Did Jax respect your feelings?

Carly: Yeah. Jax and I love each other, even though we disagree.

Alexis: Look, Sam, I know that things are difficult with you and Jason right now.

Sam: Yes, we've been avoiding some issues, but you know what? They're out in the open now. So why did you want to see me?

Alexis: Well, I really hate to add to the pile that is already on your plate, but I honestly think that you need to know this. Your friend Amelia Joffe is, in fact, not your friend at all. She is actually quite the opposite.

Sam: What do you know?

Alexis: I went over there to talk about that thing in your contract regarding "Everyday Heroes," and it took quite an exceptional turn.

Sam: I think I know where this is going, but I'd like to hear it from you. So go ahead, tell me.

Alexis: She claims that you married her father, used an alias so you could steal his money, and that you killed him.

Sam: It was self-defense.

Alexis: That's true?

Sam: Yes, it's true.

Alexis: She said there were four others.

Sam: It's comp-- it's not like I killed any of them.

Alexis: Don't be flip.

Sam: I am not proud of what I did. It was a matter of survival for me and for Danny.

Alexis: No offense, but most people would simply have gotten a job.

Sam: Most people had marketable skills. Mine was to know how to run a profitable con. So what? I -- I married rich men long enough to steal their money.

Alexis: Oh, God, that breaks my heart. So what happened? Did Amelia's father find out what you had done?

Sam: Yes, eventually, he did, okay? He -- he went to the bank the day I drained out his accounts. I was already packed and on my way out when he came in. And ordinarily, Bill was a pretty easy-going guy. But not that day. He was enraged. He was out of control, completely out of his mind. Only one of us was going to make it out of that room that day. If I hadn't grabbed that gun, he would have beaten me to death.

Alexis: Don't expect Amelia to be convinced of that. She wants you to pay, Sam.

Amelia: Sam is going to try to paint me as the villain in all of this. She's going to come whining to you playing her usual victim, crying about how I've been setting her up, giving her a taste of stardom, just to snatch it all away. That must sound so girly and lame to you. Hardly the payback you'd exact if someone killed your father.

Jason: Why are you telling me this?

Amelia: Because Sam is going to be scrambling to do damage control. She's going to try to make you believe that I'm a nut case and that killing my father was an accident. She'll swear that she's incapable of committing such heinous acts like murder. Or, say, kidnapping your baby.

Coop: I am sick of you barging in here and insulting my girlfriend.

Logan: Well, there's no insult intended. I was simply trying to be friendly and responsive.

Coop: Yeah, explain that.

Logan: Well, when your girlfriend leaves an urgent message on my phone, I drop everything and come running. So, what's the problem?

Maxie: Your nasty little bitch of a would-be girlfriend.

Logan: Uh -- Lulu?

Maxie: Uh -- yeah. I tried to be a nice person and offer support and sympathy to Lucky and Elizabeth -- you know, since their baby just got kidnapped and everything -- and Lulu came home and jumped all over me.

Logan: Hmm.

Maxie: So, I chose to be the adult and I left, but she couldn't let it go. She followed me to the hospital -- where I was volunteering -- and made some huge ordeal about how she wanted me to stay away from her precious brother and his angel of a wife, which was humiliating and unfair. So you have a choice. You can either back that walking horror show off of me, or I'll take care of it, but it won't be pretty.

Lulu: I don't think that you deserve to be locked up in a mental hospital.

Tracy: That isn't the question I asked you. Do you think -- as you so delicately put it -- I'm a wack job?

Lulu: Well, you certainly are different, but that's not something new. Having conversations with Alan's chair kind of is.

Tracy: I'm not having conversations with Alan's chair, I'm having conversations with Alan, who, whether I like it or not -- and I don't like it -- is haunting me.

Alan: Way to go, Tracy. That's the way to convince her you're normal.

Lulu: Okay, you want to know what I think? I think there are a lot of things in the universe that we can't understand. Take my mom -- the doctors say that she's a shell who can't hear or feel anything, but I swear there are moments that she's trying to connect. So, yeah, it's batty, but I can wrap my head around believing that Alan is back here to bug you. I mean, I'm sure there's unfinished business, considering you weren't very nice to him when he was alive.

Alan: How nice of you to notice, Lulu.

Tracy: It doesn't matter whether or not I deserve to have Alan's ghost dogging my heels. The point is, I don't deserve to be put in here because of it.

Lulu: I -- I agree, I agree, and I want to help, but it's not like posting bail, and Edward flat out refuses to discuss it.

Tracy: We can deal with my father later. Right now we have to make Scott Baldwin and his kidnapping charges go away, and if you're serious, there is definitely a way you can help.

Sam: It's kind of funny what the mind can do, because until I heard Angela Monroe's name mentioned again, I almost let myself forget about that part of my life.

Alexis: You know what? You don't really need to tell me any more, if you don't want to.

Sam: No, I'd rather you hear it from me, actually, because it's going to come out anyway and there's no telling how Amelia's going to skew it. So here we go. The con artist I knew as my father left me after a scam of his went south and he took what little money I had left. So I was broke, and I couldn't take care of myself and I couldn't take care of Danny.

[Sam sighs]

Sam: I never, ever want to feel that desperate again. So one night I went to a really upscale hotel -- even I know how to serve drinks -- and the very first thing my so-called father ever taught me was I had to be where the money was. So anyway, I am sitting there, and this man starts hitting on me. It was your classic midlife-crisis case with money from a dot-com killing burning a hole in his pocket. He had everything. He had the mansion and the convertible, the bling --

[Sam sighs]

Sam: But he didn't have a trophy wife. And as I was sitting there, everything started falling into place, everything my father ever taught me. And the next thing I knew, I started laughing at his stupid jokes, turning myself into his fantasy woman, and I married him. And I cleaned him out, left with Danny, and moved on -- new town, new guy.

Alexis: Obviously, it was very profitable.

Sam: Yeah, very. I got to tell you, though, by -- by the time I met Bill, I was -- I really was ready to get out. I mean, I had made enough money by this time to take care of myself and to put Danny in the special schools that he needed, but it was too late. It just went wrong. Bill found out what I was doing and --

[Sam sighs]

Sam: Well, you know the rest. If I hadn't found that gun when I did, I would not be standing here right now talking to you.

Alexis: I'm sorry. Oh, God -- if I hadn't given you up, this wouldn't have happened.

Sam: Oh, please. Don't. I used that excuse for a really long time, but you know what? Nobody is responsible for my choices and my actions but me. That's it.

Alexis: Oh -- what do you think Amelia's going to do?

Sam: I don't know. I think that it's anybody's guess right now. But what Amelia doesn't realize is I've already lost way too much, and I am willing to fight like hell to hold on to what's left of my life.

Amelia: I provided Sam an alibi, told D.A. Lansing that she was at the studio at the relevant time, but she wasn't.

Jason: Don't pretend you care about protecting Sam. You want her to pay.

Amelia: Look, Sam told me more than once that she wished that Jake had never existed. Maybe she did the next best thing and made him vanish. Think about it.

Jason: What are you doing -- what are you doing here? You're supposed to be with Amelia.

Man: I had to back off; she almost spotted me last night. Terry took over.

Jason: Okay, anything suspicious happen?

Man: Well, Amelia met with Alexis Davis for a while, then she went back to her hotel room and just stayed there.

Jason: What about phone taps?

Man: Nothing. If Amelia took Jake, she did it without leaving a trace.

Maxie: So, do you want to hook up later?

Coop: You are insatiable.

Maxie: I meant for dinner.

Coop: I pulled the late shift. I know it's a drag for you, but that's the life of a cadet -- thank Sonny.

Maxie: Maybe someday I will. Look, I know you only joined the police force because Sonny made you so you could spy for him or whatever, but you're doing really good.

Coop: How would you know?

Maxie: My dad told me. He's really particular when it comes to his officers.

Coop: Really?

Maxie: Mac's really impressed by you, and he could be your biggest supporter, just as long as he never finds out that we're sleeping together.

Coop: Well, maybe you shouldn't come back here, then.

Maxie: I'd like to see you try and stop me.

Coop: Maxie? What's the deal between you and Logan?

[Music plays]

Logan: Hey, look who came to see me, I'm flattered.

Lulu: Don't be. I'm here to pick something up for my stepmother.

Logan: You know, there's really no need to make up excuses. I'm not into hard-to-get. I really like a girl who actually goes after what she wants.

Lulu: Tell me, does acting like a cartoon character actually work for you?

Logan: [As Spinelli] It is the universal language of humor, o hostile one.

Lulu: That's it, I'm not going to listen to you make fun of Spinelli.

Logan: [Normal voice] You know what? I'm sorry. Is there anything that I can do?

Lulu: Well, let's see -- my nephew's been kidnapped, my father had to sneak my mom God knows where to get her away from that evil spawn of Satan, Baldwin, and my stepmother is in a mental hospital because her family can't be bothered to get off their butts and get her out.

Singer: So magnify the light

Logan: Anything that I can do to help you?

Lulu: Well, that actually sounded sincere.

Logan: It was.

Singers: I can see so clearly

Lulu: I can't figure you out. One minute you're this decent guy that I can be open and honest with -- too honest, considering I hardly know you -- and then the next minute you're this arrogant idiot.

Logan: Ouch.

Lulu: I'm just -- I'm saying it's just weird because I don't know who I'm dealing with.

Logan: Well, I mean, there's a pretty simple solution to that problem. We could actually take some time to get to know each other.

Alan: You really believe that Lulu's going to put herself out after the way you treated her?

Tracy: Lulu was a brat, she needed a firm hand.

Alan: Remind you of anyone?

Tracy: Who?

Alan: You -- at her age, only you were a lot meaner.

Tracy: I do see myself in Lulu and, in fact, in my own way, I have tried to look out for her. Maybe she realizes that.

[Knock on door]

Scott: Oh-ho. Well, Tracy, this is so sad. Your husband ran off with the love of his life, and you helped him kidnap her. And here you are, pretending to be crazy, thinking you're going to beat the federal charges. Well, this is your lucky day. I have a better idea.

Carly: Thank you. Are you going to court?

Jason: Diane got me another bail hearing.

Carly: Oh. Well, it's a good thing you're wearing blue.

Jason: They're not going to grant me bail because I'm wearing blue.

Carly: It's a subconscious cue, people think you look innocent.

Jason: What -- what are you doing here?

Carly: My brand-new marriage is headed straight for the Bermuda triangle. You know what? Never mind. Never mind, because I am here to support you. I am so glad that you're getting another bail hearing.

Jason: Me, too.

Carly: Even though the judge is probably not going to release you again because he's bought and paid for by Ric Lansing. I would love to take a baseball bat to that snobby face of his, let him beg for the chance to release you. He should be celebrating Alcazar's death. His life's a hell of a lot easier now. I know, I know. Any kind of confrontation will only make matters worse. I'm just -- I'm scared, okay? I'm -- I'm really scared that they're going to take you away from me and -- and lock you up forever, Jason. That scares me. What am I going to do without you? I mean, who's going to be my voice of reason and tell me not to do something stupid like, you know, sabotage my marriage? Who is going to tell me that I'm a decent person, okay, and -- and I can be loyal to my husband, even though he abandoned me to go after his brother again? And he will probably die. So can you tell -- can you tell that I'm really upset and I'm really angry with Jax, but I love him, I love being married to him? And I am so scared that the most happiest time of my life has only lasted one month.

Amelia: You're late. We have to go over this script, there are problem areas.

Sam: You can tell the crew that they can take the rest of the day off. You and I have a few "artistic differences" we need to discuss.

Wes: You heard the lady. We're wrapped. I'll be back later.

Amelia: Well, well, well. Aren't we becoming the little diva?

Sam: Will you just cut the crap? You're out to get me and we both know it, but I'm going to give you fairer warning than you ever gave me. Underestimate me at your own risk.

Maxie: What are you talking about? There's no deal between me and Logan. I can't stand the guy. And if you really want to know the truth, I think he's a lousy friend to you, too.

Coop: Logan and I have been through a lot together --

Maxie: I know -- you guys fought in Iraq, saved each other's lives, bonded in the jungle.

Coop: Desert.

Maxie: Whatever. War buddies for life forever, I get that. And because it's important to you, I put up with Logan -- when what I really like to do is knock him down a peg or two.

Coop: You be careful with Logan. You don't want to push him.

Maxie: What's he going to do, throw a hand grenade at me and blow me up?

Coop: I have seen Logan in the most extreme circumstances possible. I know what he's capable of and how quickly he can turn. Now, if Logan lost it and hurt you, war buddies wouldn't matter.

Lulu: Thank you so much. I'll let you know if my stepmother needs anything else.

Man: Give Tracy my best.

Logan: What's this?

Lulu: Whoa! No! Mind your own business.

Logan: Oh. Well, so much for that fragile sense of trust we were starting to develop right there.

Lulu: I just told you I don't know who you are on any given day. Why would I start trusting you?

Logan: Uh, you're not the only one getting confusing signals here, okay? I -- I never know what to expect from you one day to the next. I mean, how many times have you taken off my head for the high crime of saying hi?

Lulu: I don't do that. Okay, I don't -- I don't do that a lot.

Logan: Oh --

Lulu: Fine, fine. I'm sorry if I've ever snapped at you for no reason -- if I ever did that -- and I'll try really hard not to do it in the future, okay?

Logan: Ooh.

Lulu: I need to go now.

Logan: Stop by any time, say hi.

Scott: Tracy, you took a chance on love -- in your golden years.

Tracy: My what?

Scott: I -- I salute you for opening up your heartstrings like that at this point in your life. However, you chose the wrong guy. You chose a fool. What's the first thing he does when Laura comes back to reality? He moves in with her, he cooks up a phony wedding, he professes his love to her in your rose garden?

Tracy: In my mother's rose garden.

Scott: Well, that makes all the difference in the world, that explains why you helped with Luke's kidnapping plan. Now he is somewhere running around the world with Laura.

Tracy: What fun -- Club Med with a catatonic.

Scott: I can see that it bothers you, Tracy. I can see it swimming around in your head. Luke -- he loves Laura. He always has, he always will. When it comes to making a choice between you two, he will choose her. You will be left in the dust.

Tracy: What's your "point"?

Scott: Well, I'll tell you what my point is. You deserve better. You do not want to be that woman -- just an afterthought, a doormat.

Alan: Here it comes.

Scott: So I have a deal for you. It's a -- a dignity deal. You tell me where Luke took Laura, and I will drop the kidnapping charges. I'll even put Edward in here if you'd like that.

Alan: Oh -- now, there is an offer that's tough to refuse.

Scott: What do you say?

Tracy: Well -- oh, I'm sorry, Alan, I didn't hear that. What? You say Scott Baldwin is a skeevy waste of hair product and skin?

Alan: I hope you know what you're doing.

Tracy: Fully informed.

Scott: You know, Tracy, you must really be cuckoo. You're going to throw your freedom away for someone who wouldn't do the same for you. Well, don't say I didn't try and help you.

Alan: Scott Baldwin is a horse's ass, but in this case, his assessment of Luke is right.

Carly: You don't need this. You don't need me standing here dumping all my stuff on you -- again.

Jason: Come here. Fortunately, I have time, okay? So why don't you just tell me why you're upset.

Carly: Jax took me to Montréal. You know, it's our place, and we had a wonderful time. While we were there, he gave me the deed to this amazingly beautiful old hotel, and he said we were going to make it the sister hotel to the metro court. So we started making plans to expand and plans about our future, and then -- surprise, surprise -- the phone rings and it's Jerry, in trouble again.

Jason: And Jax went after Jerry?

Carly: So I get on a plane and I go after Jax to remind him of what he has and what he's risking and that he shouldn't go. But that was a big, fat waste of time because, you know, Jax is determined to be whatever Jerry wants, whenever he wants it. And I am trying really hard to understand, okay, to say, "Carly, he's family, so Jax needs to support him no matter what." But, Jason, I -- being left pushes all my buttons, okay? Look, what I did the last time Jax went to help Jerry, I married and slept with Sonny. So I'm asking you to help me here. Work your magic, please, because -- stop me from drop-kicking a life that means everything to me just because I'm hurt and angry, because I am.

Jason: See, you don't need me to tell you what to do, Carly. If you want to hold on to your marriage, you're going to hold on to your marriage.

Carly: So this comes down to trust? Okay, I need to believe that Jax values what we have as much as I do, and he's not going to ruin it no matter what, not even for Jerry. That's really hard for me.

Jason: Yeah.

Carly: Thank you. Thank you for standing here and listening to me go on and on and on. You really are everything to me, and I am not going to let anyone -- not Ric, not anyone -- take you out of my life. I will not let that happen.

Jason: Thank you. Just don't do anything, okay? Just let it -- let it play out.

Carly: Okay.

Jason: You don't mean that?

Carly: No, but it's what you wanted to hear.

Jason: That's --

Diane: Let's go. Judge Hearndon doesn't like to be kept waiting.

Carly: Good luck.

Sam: You've been setting me up from day one, right down to the watch that you're wearing, which happens to be the same exact watch your father gave me. The one he ripped off my wrist right before he broke it, which is right before he was whaling on me. You must've gone through a lot of trouble.

Amelia: The original watch was sent to me by the police, along with the rest of my dad's personal effects.

Sam: Wow. Your hostility rolls off of you in waves. I'm surprised I haven't seen it before.

Amelia: How do you expect me to feel about you? You put both barrels of a shotgun through my father's chest.

Sam: Your father could've beaten me to death!

Amelia: Or you could've thrown yourself down the stairs to make it seem that way.

Sam: You honestly believe that?

Amelia: Why not? You're a con artist and a liar, as all of the men that you have taken could attest -- including Jason, by the way. You may have fooled him for a while, but now he knows exactly who and what you are.

Alan: You're in denial.

Tracy: Alan, no one is in my marriage but me and Luke, therefore no one is in a position to judge.

Alan: Luke used you to get his hands on Laura and then left you high and dry. Those are not the actions of a man who really loves his wife.

Tracy: Look who's talking. Be gone!

Lulu: Ahem. Uh -- I brought the envelope.

Tracy: Excellent. Thank would you like the benefit of my experience?

Lulu: Uh -- sure.

Tracy: You have the three stooges chasing after you. Do yourself a long-run favor and stay clear.

Lulu: Okay.

Tracy: I'll tell you how it works. The good ones bore you silly, and the bad ones give you a glimpse of paradise and then they break your heart. So build a life for yourself that doesn't depend on love, otherwise you're going to find yourself like me -- at the mercy of someone who doesn't give a damn about you.

Lulu: You're wrong. My -- my dad cares about you a lot.

Amelia: Imagine my shock when I saw my father's killer on the news being hailed as a hero. So I did some investigating, found out that you had pulled the same scam on four other men before him. It was all about the money for you, wasn't it?

Sam: What do you want me to say? I'm not going to deny it. Yes, it was obviously about the money.

Amelia: So you're basically a hooker. I mean, let's just call it as it is.

Sam: Ahem. I do not have to justify myself to you. You know about my past. Do what you want. Tell the world. I don't care.

Amelia: I have no intention of exposing you. You're far too valuable to me, and we are bound together by contract, so you are stuck with me for a long time.

Spinelli: Ha! Ha! I was monitoring the PCPD mainframe, and I saw with great relief that you made bail. Dude, that's awesome!

Jason: Listen, I wasted a lot of time in custody, okay? I need to know everything Sam and Amelia have done since Jake was grabbed -- phone calls, bank activities -- whatever might point to Jake's whereabouts.

Spinelli: I like Amelia for the crime, except -- well, that she has no obvious motive.

Jason: She hates Sam, that's motive.

Spinelli: Great. Great, great! Then we can eliminate Sam as a suspect, and we can just --

Jason: I don't want to believe this any more than you do, Spinelli, but I know her, okay? She feels guilty about something. I just hope it's not this.

Tracy: Lulu, you're very loyal to your father and I admire that. But you don't need to tell me what you think I want to hear in order to protect him. I have no intention of giving your father up. I have no idea where he is, so I couldn't even if I wanted to. But there is no necessity for you to spoon-feed me a bunch of hooey about your father's feelings for me.

Lulu: That's not what I'm doing. I've been around, I've seen him. My dad has very deep feelings for you. And it may seem like the same song, second verse with my mom, but I'm betting when she's safe, he's going to come back to you.

Tracy: Huh. Well, I think I'm touched.

Lulu: Huh. Okay. Well, since I'm in it, I might as well go all the way. What you've done -- covering for my dad so that he could get my mom away from Scott -- was an act of love, and I want you to know that I appreciate that.

Tracy: Let's focus on the business at hand.

Lulu: What do you think you're going to find?

Tracy: Dirt on Scott. There's plenty of it, I'm sure. As soon as I find it, I'm going to blackmail him into dropping the charges against me.

Lulu: What?

Tracy: Eureka. Apparently, our esteemed prosecutor has a son. Hmm.

Maxie: What the hell is wrong with you?

Logan: That depends on who you ask.

Maxie: You barge in on me and Coop and practically announce that we have a secret?

Logan: We do.

Maxie: A secret, Logan -- the definition is that only people know about it.

Logan: Was old Coop suspicious?

Maxie: What do you think? He asked me what the deal was with the two of us.

Logan: And I'm sure you covered your sorry butt.

Maxie: I told him I hated your lying, miserable guts, and that you are a lousy friend.

Logan: And I bet Coop bought every word of it. God, my poor buddy. He has no idea how low you will go to hurt Lulu -- or how hot you are for me.

Maxie: Gross. In your dreams.

Logan: Yeah, soon to be our reality. You agreed to sleep with me if I get with Lulu.

Maxie: Yeah, not because I'm attracted to you, because I want that little martyr off the market and on the road to total and utter humiliation.

Logan: Well, you'll be glad to know I'm making definite progress in regards to that. Lulu's definitely beginning to come around.

Maxie: I think you'd say anything to get what you want.

Logan: I guess you'll just have to take my word for it.

Maxie: Well, that's not going to happen.

Logan: What, you want proof that I slept with Lulu?

Maxie: Something definitive.

Logan: Oh, okay. You want to watch us?

Maxie: Actually, that's exactly what I want to do.

Jason: Ransom? If taking Jake was about money, we would've heard from the kidnappers by now, okay? So, listen, money's out. I need to follow up on them.

Spinelli: Okay, so maybe Amelia -- maybe Amelia took baby Jake to make Samantha look bad.

Jason: Yeah, that's -- that's possible.

Spinelli: It pains me -- it pains me deeply that you doubt your beloved, that's all.

Jason: I am just trying to be objective. Spinelli, it doesn't -- it just doesn't make any sense, okay? It makes no sense that Amelia would come in, tell me that she hates Sam, that she wants Sam to pay for her father's death, and all of a sudden kidnap Jake. It doesn't make any sense, it's too obvious.

Spinelli: Okay, so you're thinking on the other hand --

Jason: So, you know, I've known Sam for almost three years, I've been with her 2 1/2 -- I know her, okay? She is hiding something from me, and whatever it is, is killing her.

Amelia: Maureen, hi. It's Amelia Joffe from "Everyday Heroes." Yes, I was just going over paperwork and realized you never signed a release for the interview we did with you.

Maureen: Uh -- I'm sorry. I changed my mind.

Amelia: I'm sorry?

Maureen: I -- I don't want to be on television talking about losing my baby in the fire.

[Baby cries]

Carly: Michael, Morgan?

Michael: Uh -- yeah, hi. Uh -- look who's here.

Jerry: Surprise.

>> On the next "General Hospital" --

Lulu: Scott really does have a son out there.

Tracy: All we have to do is find him.

Logan: If you want to watch, that's kinky, but I'm cool with that.

Sonny: Is this how you do your job?

Sam: You don't believe in me anymore!

Jason: I know you're hiding something, tell me what it is.

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