General Hospital Transcript Thursday 5/4/06
Proofread by Brian
Emily: To the agent of amnesia.
Robin: Also known as memorous interruptus.
Elizabeth: Better known as fermented cactus juice -- the nectar of life.
John: We're not panicking. We're going to wait these bastards out.
Carly: Trust me, I'd make a run for it if I could.
John: Yeah, well, that's exactly what they're expecting us to try. But don't worry. There must be some people out there that are missing us by now.
Carly: Jax knows I'm here.
John: Well, good. Good. Then hopefully, he'll call the police.
Carly: What if the shooter doesn't want to wait? You know, what if they just want to come in here and we're sitting here like a couple of sitting ducks and we have no way to defend ourselves?
John: Slow down, slow down. It's us. We ambush them. There's got to be something around here we can use. All right, look, there's a pipe in the corner. I'm going to go get it. I want you to stay right here. Don't move, ok? I'll be right back.
John: Ow! Oh!
Carly: Are you ok?
[Gunshot, glass shatters]
John: It's my leg. My leg.
Carly: Oh, God.
John come here, come here, stay low. Stay low! Agh! Ah.
John: Oh! Agh.
Carly: Who are these people?
John: I don't know. I don't know. But I'm pretty damn sure of one thing -- they want to kill us.
Manny: Ok, listen to me carefully. I'm going to stay in my position. I want you to move to the side of the house. I want them to know that there's no way out.
[Knock on door]
Ric: Hey. Wanted to see me?
Ric: Is something wrong?
Sonny: Apparently, Jason is going through a lot over this business with Sam, and he --
Sonny: He won't leave her side at the hospital.
Ric: So what are you going to do?
Sonny: What do you mean?
Ric: Well, with Jason understandably preoccupied with Sam, he's not really paying attention to the business. It seems logical to me that this is the perfect time for you to take back your territory, and your life.
Jason: If you want Alexis to know that she's your mother, then you should tell her.
Sam: Jason, am I dying?
Jason: No, you're not dying.
Sam: That's a relief.
Jason: Don't joke about it, ok?
Sam: I'm just, you know -- but that would be the only way I would want Alexis to know she was my mother -- if I were dying.
Sam: I would -- I would want her to know. I mean, for the time I had left, I guess. But I'm not dying. I'm going to get better so I can be with you, and we can have our life together. Besides, if I told Alexis she was my mother, she would just tell me that you are dangerous and that I had to stay away.
Epiphany: Time for a transfusion.
Sam: See what good care they take of me here?
John: Pull it tight, pull it tight. That's it, that's it -- tighter. Agh.
Carly: Ok. All right. I failed nursing school.
John: My father, your grandfather, used to tell me stories about being pinned down by the Gerries -- that's what you'd call them. It's World War II. He never talked about the war much, you know. The whole "greatest generation" thing. I certainly never thought that I'd follow in his footsteps. But look at me. Here I am, sitting in the suburbs in a house, ducking enemy fire.
Carly: I bet it's times like this you're sorry you stuck around to get to know me, huh?
John: Oh, Carly, it's just the opposite. It's times like this that I know that that is the most important thing that I've ever done.
Patrick: What happened to your mother was pretty technical.
William: Tell me.
Patrick: She had an intracerebral aneurysm. We tried to ligate the proximal and distal portions, but she hemorrhaged, which -- she started to bleed.
Noah: Hello, son.
Patrick: I was just trying to explain to William that --
Noah: You know, I think that all William needs to know is that his mom didn't suffer. Ok? She felt no pain, went to sleep peacefully. And you know the last word she said? She loves you very much. She always will.
Woman: Come with me, honey. Come on.
Patrick: You lied to the kid. You have no idea if she suffered or what her last words were.
Noah: Yeah, I know. I'm sorry.
Patrick: You shouldn't be apologizing to me.
Noah: I'm sorry that I wasn't there to face you when your mom died so I could have lied to you, too.
Emily: To crashing and burning --
Elizabeth: And picking ourselves up.
Kelly and Robin: And trying again.
Robin: Whoo. Ugh.
Kelly: Oh, my -- whoo!
Lainey: Hey, ladies.
Kelly and Robin: Hey.
Lainey: I'll have whatever you're having.
Emily: Oh. There are rules.
Elizabeth: Oh, gee -- sorry, "There are rules."
Kelly: Boo -- boo on you.
Emily: Wait, hold on. Did you have a lousy day?
Lainey: Oh, I just hit a whole new level of lousy.
Robin: Ok, but did you lose a patient?
Lainey: Well, if you consider having a patient have a complete psychotic break losing it, then yes, right here.
Emily: Yeah, but at least they're not dead.
Lainey: Well, that's true.
Kelly: Incurably insane is close enough. You have some catching up to do.
Elizabeth: Oh, my.
Emily: Let me ask you a question. Kelly --
Emily: Are you superstitious?
Kelly: We all are. If I obsess on the number of floor tiles between the door and the operating table, then I won't think about life and death.
Kelly: Why do you ask?
Robin: Because Patrick didn't play his music in O.R. today.
Elizabeth: To Nancy Dixon -- may she have a safe journey.
All: Safe journey.
Lainey: So this is kind of like an Irish wake?
Robin: Yes. Except we about -- um -- hmm -- a half a dozen really hot Irishmen. What are you doing?
Kelly: That is so girlie and so wrong!
Lainey: Oh. All right, all right, you guys, just tell me how to do this.
Elizabeth: You got to lick it, slam it, and suck it.
Kelly and Lainey: What?
Elizabeth: I said you've got to lick it, slam it, and suck it.
All: Ooh! Ok.
Carly: You know, funny enough, Sonny was the one who said that I would regret it if I didn't get to know my father. I was the one who couldn't get past how you put your own agenda ahead of everything else -- including me.
John: That's because we're so much alike. Agenda-driven. Once we get something in our heads, we can't let it go, no matter what it costs us. Or who.
Carly: And now that I'm not with Sonny anymore, we actually have a chance.
John: Maybe we can learn from my mistakes, huh? Maybe we can make it work on a second chance.
Carly: We don't have to do this. Yeah, we don't have to do this.
John: Ah, hell. You got something better to do?
Carly: I guess they woke up.
Iris: Ms. Sneed from Hospital Administration. I have some outstanding paperwork to be signed.
Jason: I'm sorry, that's going to have to wait.
Iris: Well, that's a violation of hospital policy.
Jason: What do you want?
Iris: Your fiancée is listed in critical condition. We need an advance directive in the event that she deteriorates further.
Jason: An advanced what?
Iris: Do you wish to use heroic measures to prolong Ms. McCall’s life, or would you prefer to sign a D.N.R.? "Do Not Resuscitate."
Sonny: I'm not going to take advantage of Sam being shot, Ric.
Ric: Sonny, Jason took advantage of the fact that you were preoccupied with Emily, and he stole everything right out from underneath you.
Sonny: That was a separate issue.
Ric: Ok, listen to me. There are other players here, Sonny. Other families. They might look at this as their opportunity, right? You know, Jason’s newly in power, and just suddenly, right out of the gate, he's vulnerable. You think they're going to try and take advantage of that? And who knows? They might try to eliminate you, too. Remember -- the person who shot at Jason and Sam is still out there. Now, if you act now, decisively, you can protect Jason and your business against your enemies. But you can't do it alone. You're going to need somebody hungry to make the move. You pull them into your circle. And then you put them in your debt.
Sonny: Well, Rito Herrera.
Ric: Well, you know the players better than I do. The one thing I do know is the time is now.
Sonny: It is time to end this. You set this up for me. If it works, you've proven yourself.
Noah: You know, I -- I really believed that I could save your mom. I thought I was that good. Turns out, I was just that arrogant. Even when she died on the table, I wouldn't call it. My -- my head knew she was gone, but my heart kept saying that if I just kept operating, she would be ok. I knew when I stopped I'd have to face the truth. That's -- it's crazy, isn't it?
Patrick: I would say yes if I hadn't have gone through the same thing. But there's one difference. I was operating on a stranger. You were operating on your wife and my mom.
Noah: You had the courage to face that boy with his loss.
Patrick: Well, it wasn't very graceful.
Noah: But you did it. When I needed to face you and tell you I lost your mom, I -- I ran away. That's -- that's what makes you a superior surgeon, and a better man.
Kelly: Uh-oh. Mas tequila, por favor!
Emily: And if you're really nice, Elizabeth will show you how to drink it.
Kelly: Yes! Oh, yeah!
Elizabeth: Ok, just because I'm a wife and a mom doesn't mean that I don't know things about life, ok?
Robin: I'm cool, I'm cool. I'm pouring.
Coleman: You cool?
Robin: Yeah, but I like your shirt.
Kelly: Thank you.
Robin: You're welcome.
Emily: To moms.
Kelly: Oh. Oh.
Robin: Yeah? To moms.
Kelly: To moms.
Emily: I've had more than my fair share.
Elizabeth: Oh, sure. To moms.
Robin: Look me in the eye.
Kelly: Oh. Oh, my Lord --
Robin: I wish I listened to my mom. Maybe I would have been involved in the world of es-- what is it? Espi-- spying! Spying. You know? Where I could meet interesting, hot guys. But no, I had to choose medicine. Hmm. Medicine.
Kelly: Medicine, where we don't save the world, only lives, most of the time. And occasionally meet interesting, hot guys.
Robin: Yeah, who think that they're saving the world, but --
Elizabeth: You know, medicine is not that bad if you're a doctor, because you guys get paid a lot, and you don't have to deal with bedpans.
Elizabeth: And you do your little surgery and you go home, and when you come back, the little --
Elizabeth: Gremlins have cleaned up all your mess, and there's no forms and tubes, and -- God, today was a really bad day.
Robin: Little gremlins.
Kelly: Well, tomorrow's going to be worse. I have to tell the grieving fiancé that he doesn't have to worry whether the woman he loves can carry a child, because she's probably going to bleed to death right in front of him.
Emily: Is -- Sam McCall?
Robin: Is Sam going to die?
Emily: To my brother Jason, who may lose the woman he loves because I wouldn't give up the man I love.
Robin: To love, and what -- yeah, whatever else you just said.
Lainey: Hear, hear.
Lainey: Slap it, slup it, suck it.
Kelly: Uh --
Elizabeth: Try again!
Lainey: Hmm. Hmm.
Coleman: Here, here, here. Here, here. Relax.
Robin: Keep it coming, baby.
Coleman: Hey, you girls ready for another bottle?
Robin: Yes, we --
Robin: Keep coming.
Emily: I just feel so --
Lainey: Oh, man --
Emily: Sorry for Jason. Thank you. His biggest mistake was giving up on Carly.
Elizabeth: You are so drunk.
Robin: Carly is a tramp.
Lainey: Oh, my.
Kelly: Oh, boy.
Robin: What? I mean, she likes being one.
Emily: Uh-huh. What do you say, Lainey? You're Carly’s shrink.
Lainey: Oh, I say that professional ethis -- ethics --
Lainey: Dictates you got to have this conversation without me.
Kelly: Well, here is to professional ethics.
Lainey: I will drink to that.
Emily: Jason and Carly, they had the right idea. It was all about sex with them. There was no names, no commitments. Just using pretty much every place -- every room in this place -- I mean, they -- they banged in the pool table in the room upstairs, in the bar after hours.
Elizabeth: Are you ok?
Emily: Oh, you know I'm --
Elizabeth: I've just never heard you use the word "bang" before.
Robin: Oh, my God.
Emily: You missed my point. See? Ok. Carly's on to something.
Kelly: There's a point.
Emily: Sex is the only way to go.
Lainey: It is?
Robin: That woman, Emily -- she speaks the truth.
Robin: Ok, ok, ok -- to simple, uncomplicated s-e-x -- sex!
Coleman: How about sex? Sex.
Jason: Whew. I just need you to be honest with me. Is -- is Sam dying?
Monica: The -- the prognosis isn't good, Jason.
Jason: Can -- can you excuse me for a minute?
Stan: Ric is brokering a deal with Herrera. They think you're too preoccupied with Sam to take care of business.
Jason: Are you -- are you working right now?
Monica: Actually, no, I'm off. I just came to see how you were doing.
Jason: Do you think you can sit with Sam for a little while. I have something to take care of.
Monica: Yeah, I can do that.
Jason: Thank you. I don't want her to wake up alone.
Monica: Ok. Be careful.
Ric: Mr. Herrera was receptive to the offer.
Sonny: Look, now this -- you're going to have to make a choice. How much of the business do you want to know about? How much of the business do you want to be involved in?
Ric: I'll do what's needed.
Sonny: What about Alexis?
Ric: She has her boundaries; I have mine. For the record, I'm in as far as you want me to be.
Sonny: Ok. That's all I need to talk about. There's been a lot of surprises lately, as you know. Most of them bad, except for Emily. And now you're stepping up to the plate and that's a good thing.
Ric: You won't be sorry, Sonny.
Sonny: All right -- um -- there's some things I got to handle.
Sonny: For starters, I'm trying to figure out who my enemies are.
Sonny: Whew. Ok. Thanks.
Carly: Something's different.
John: Yeah. It's only coming from one direction. I think we're --
Carly: They're making their move.
John: Carly -- Carly?
Carly: Come and get me! Come and get me, you bastard! I'm here waiting for you!
John: Get down!
Jax: Me! Me!
John: Carly, get down!
Emily: What's wrong with a relationship with no strings attached?
Elizabeth: You guys know that I adore my husband and I absolutely -- I love being married, but I am drunk enough to know what you say makes total sense.
Kelly: Oh. A hot guy to love you when you need it --
Kelly: And to get out of the way when you don’t.
Lainey: Whoo. Have you ever noticed that all men are just little boys with bigger feet?
Emily: And bigger other things.
Kelly: And that's why men are so threatened by women like us.
Robin: I agree.
Lainey: Ok, so all the men I date -- they want me to fix them and I'm just like -- could you just call my office and make an appointment?
Lainey: I mean, I just -- I want love without the baggage.
Elizabeth: L'amour without tripping over their dirty gym socks.
Emily: Passion without having to dodge bullets.
Robin: I just want a guy -- hello. I just want a guy that says what he means and means what he says.
Robin: Oh, yeah, and then mindless, no-strings sex.
Singer: I love to love you, baby I love to love you, baby
Patrick: Tonight is all yours, Robin.
Robin: Tonight is all I need.
Patrick: They have sweets from around the world. Where do you want to start?
Robin: Let's start here and see where that takes us.
Singer: You can feel my burning flame feeling kind of n-a-s-t-y I just might take you home with me, baby the minute I feel your energy your vibe has just taken over me start feelin' so crazy, babe lately I feel the funk coming over me I don't know what's gotten into me the rhythm's got me feeling so crazy, babe tonight
Kelly: A guy like that could be right under our noses. Call 911. I'm a doctor. This is urgent. This man needs immediate attention.
Singer: I love to love you, baby
Patrick: Thank you, doctor.
Singer: I love to love you
Kelly: I'm not done. You need mouth-to-mouth.
Singer: I'm feelin' sexy
Elizabeth: If a guy like that actually existed, he would've been snatched up by now.
Singer: Tonight I'll be your naughty girl oh, I'm callin' all my girls we gonna turn this party out
Patrick: Dance is the language of love.
Elizabeth: Please, doctor. I've been on my feet all day. Can we just skip the love and talk sex?
Singer: I see you look me up and down and I came to party you're so sexy tonight I am all yours, boy the way your I love to love
Lainey: Low-maintenance and uncomplicated -- that's all I ask for.
Singer: I love to love you, baby I love to love you
Patrick: I'm ready, doctor.
Lainey: What's this couch doing here?
Patrick: I don't know. It's your fantasy.
Singer: I love to love you, baby I
Lainey: What's on your mind?
Patrick: What do you think?
Singer: I'm feelin' sexy I want to hear you say my name
Lainey: Consider yourself healed.
Singer: If you can reach me you can feel my
Emily: You're so right. Uncomplicated would be refreshing.
Singer: Feeling kind of n-a-s-t-y I just might take you home with me baby, the minute I feel your energy your vibe has just taken over me start feelin' so crazy, babe lately I feel the funk coming over me I don't know what's gotten into me the rhythm's got me feeling so I love to love you, baby I love to love you, baby I
Robin: Keep them coming, baby!
Coleman: All right, baby. Keep your panties on. So, girls, does this cat have a name? I mean, this high-octane, low-maintenance, ride-'em-hard, put-'em-away-wet cowboy you're talking about?
Robin: Huh? Hmm.
Patrick: Can I get a drink?
Singer: I love to love you, baby tonight I'll be your naughty girl oh, I'm callin' all my girls
Patrick: So is this a private party?
Kelly: Depends what you have in mind.
Elizabeth: We were just talking about you.
Robin: We're not talk-- no!
Elizabeth: Yes! And I, for one, think it's great that you are here. You are here, aren't you? Shoot -- am I the only one who sees him?
Emily: No, I see him.
Kelly: So do I -- every inch.
Lainey: I heard about what happened in the O.R. I'm really sorry.
Lainey: Must get really hard, doesn't it?
Patrick: I need a drink.
Kelly: Well, you've come to the right place, doctor.
Robin: All right, you ready, Dr. Hottie?
Patrick: Yes, I am.
Kelly: All right.
Lainey: Ok. Wait, wait, wait, wait! I want to say it -- I want to get -- I swear I'm going to get it right this time. Slum it, slam it --
Robin: Come on.
All: Go! Go, go, go! Whoo!
Coleman: To sex, buddy. To sex.
All: To sex!
Lainey: To sex.
Patrick: Can we do that again?
Elizabeth: Yes! Yes!
Lainey: Where's the bottle?
Robin: No! No! No. No.
Lainey: Yes, let's do it again.
Robin: We got -- we have to go home.
Lainey: Go home?
Robin: Yes, you guys, we have to go to work tomorrow.
Kelly: She's right.
Lainey: You're no fun.
Coleman: Well, hey. I can't believe I'm about to say this to five beautiful, drunken women, but I have called all of us a cab.
Lainey: Oh, my God, Coleman, you're such a gentleman.
Coleman: Yeah, and you're such a lady.
Lainey: So sweet.
Coleman: You ready? They're waiting outside.
Elizabeth: My God, you're so drunk.
Coleman: I know.
Coleman: It's ok. Come on. Come on. You guys got your purses and all your makeup and your lipstick?
Robin: Got our purses.
Coleman: And your lip-gloss?
Robin: My lip-gloss.
Coleman: All right, keep going. Come on, here, let me help you. Yeah. Flip that hair for me. Flip that hair some.
Patrick: I thought you were leaving.
Robin: I wanted them to leave so that I could have you all to myself.
[Slow music plays]
Patrick: Territorial. I like that.
Robin: You know, what happened today was just another reminder of how bad it is -- you know. Your mom and the pain and how it's never going to stop hurting. And then, you know, the other day you offered me, like, five seconds of vulnerability and then quite frankly, you blew it. So I'm offering you a one-time deal.
Singer: We can love
Robin: What happens at Jake’s stays at Jake’s.
Singer: Fly away
Emily: Sonny. We need to talk.
Sonny: You ok?
Emily: I was out with the girls.
Emily: It was very, very --
Emily: Interesting evening.
Sonny: It seems like -- ok.
Emily: Yep. We did the whole slam-dunk-drunk thing --
Emily: And I realized that you and I can't be together anymore.
Sonny: We can be together?
Emily: Nope, not like we were.
Emily: From now on --
Emily: We can only have sex.
Sonny: We can only have --
Emily: No, don't -- no arguments. I love you, but love is nothing but a big, fat headache.
Sonny: And I got a feeling you're going to revisit that headache tomorrow morning, so --
Emily: Just don't -- patronize me. See, I'm telling you --
Emily: Sex -- or nothing.
Sonny: Well -- ok. If you put it that way, I guess so.
Emily: Oh, so sweet. And that's why I want to bang you.
Sonny: You want to bang me?
Emily: Yeah. What? Don't sound so shocked. See? I'm expanding my vocabulary.
Sonny: Yeah, I --
Sonny: I noticed that when you came in here.
Emily: Ok, so let's get busy.
Max: Is she sick?
Sonny: Um -- she will be. Can you get her up to the guest room?
Sonny: Yeah, thanks.
Max: Ok. Come on.
Sonny: Just be careful with her.
Sonny: You know what I mean?
Jax: Stay low. Are you hurt?
Carly: I'm ok. I'm so glad you're here. John, are you ok?
John: I told you I liked him.
Jax: Just hang in there, Durant. The cops are on their way.
Carly: How did you know I was here?
Jax: When you didn't call me about the house, I came to look for you. I heard glass breaking, I saw a guy with a rifle. I was able to knock him out and take this from him.
Carly: Ok. John has been hit. I put a tourniquet on his leg, but I don't think it's getting any better. I think it's getting worse. John? John! John!
Jax: Carly, get down! Get down, come on!
John: Don't worry. I'm good.
Robin: Come on, look around you. There's plenty of surfaces on which to bang.
Patrick: I don't think I've ever heard you say that word before.
Robin: That's because I learned it from Emily tonight, but don't change the subject. Come on. I'm offering you a one-time deal with no strings and no -- what's -- commits-- commitment. That word will never pass through my lips.
Patrick: Not easily.
Robin: I promise. Come on, come on, come on. I'm sure you carry all that stuff that we need with you, right? Come on. Let's start upstairs. Come on.
Patrick: I think you should go home. There will be no banging tonight.
Robin: What? I mean, isn't sex all you men want and then the second it's offered to you, you don't -- you can't handle it or --
Patrick: Hey, Coleman, is there another cab?
Coleman: Yeah, man. I'll flag one for you.
Patrick: Thanks. I'm touched by the offer and the sentiment behind it, but I'm going to take a rain check.
Singer: Fly away
Robin: Whatever. I mean, it's your loss, pal. You know, I am not often a sure thing. I could probably black out the rest of the night which, in that case, you'll be sorry.
Coleman: Hey, cab's here, guys.
Singer: We can live and we can love
Coleman: See you later.
Singer: And fly away hey, hey
Jax: Yeah, yeah, I'm here.
Carly: John? John? Dad? Jax said help's coming, dad. Hey.
Carly: They're coming for us.
John: Carly, I love you, girl. You can hold me to that.
Officer: This is the police! Put down your weapons! Come out with your hands up!
Jax: We're under fire! There's still one more shooter out there! And John Durant is with us. He's injured.
Carly: Hey, hey, hey, do you hear that? They're coming to get you. Dad? Dad? Oh, God, no, dad! No! Dad?
Monica: You ok?
Sam: Hi. Yeah, I was -- I was dreaming.
Monica: I hope it was a good dream.
Sam: Well, I'm -- I'm not sure. I -- I don't really know the meaning of the dream.
Monica: Well, I heard you say something about your mother.
Sam: Did I?
Sam: She can't be with me, and I -- I guess I just wish she could.
Sonny: What the hell are you doing?
Jason: Ric's trying to take advantage of Sam being shot to take back the business. This is not going to happen.
Ric: Is Sonny not supposed to take back what's rightfully his?
Jason: Shut up! You stay away from my business! If you cross the line one more time, I will have no problem blowing your head off.
>> On the next "General Hospital" --
Jax: I'm sorry.
Carly: I'm sorry, but I don't know what I'm sorry for.
Emily: Sam's blood isn't clotting.
Sonny: I didn't know she was dying.
Jason: How's she doing?
Kelly: Not getting any better.
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