GH Transcript Tuesday 8/24/04

General Hospital Transcript Tuesday 8/24/04

Provided by Suzanne

Proofread by Brian

Sage: What a bunch of losers. They actually think they're in contact with some spirit.

Dillon and Georgie: "J-E-A-L-O-U-S."

All: "Jealous."

Dillon: Jealous of who?

Sage: Jealous of me because I slept with Dillon. You still aren't over it!

Georgie: What?

Dillon: Sage, come on! Wait a second, will you?

Sage: Your stupid tricks put me in the hospital, and now you're trying to hurt me again, aren't you? Aren't you?

Brook Lynn: God, Sage, when will you understand that this has nothing to do with you, or Georgie or Dillon, ok? This is about my Great Grandmother Lila, or some dishonest Quartermaine ghost pretending to be her.

Lucas: Are you sure that the board isn't just saying what you want it to say?

Brook Lynn: No, look, it's Lila, ok? She's jealous because Heather is moving in on her husband.

[All scream]

Justus: Faith, you can come out. It's only me. Faith?


Alice: Hey! I know you're in here! Now, you're going to get one chance to surrender peacefully, and then Iím going to put you in a world of hurt!

Edward: Just because Iím trying to make a guest comfortable doesn't mean anything is going on!

Alan: Comfortable? You were dragging her into bed!

Edward: I resent your implication!

Alan: What implication? You were about to have sex with her!

Heather: I'm afraid this is all my fault.

Edward: Look, if you'd been in your own room in the first place, none of this would've happened, so what are you --

Alan: I'm just so glad that mother wasn't here to see this.

Heather: I'm sorry if I upset you, but the road is blocked and I'm afraid Iím stranded.

Monica: Probably booby-trapped the road.

Heather: I won't deny that I do find Edward incredibly compelling.

Alan: You mean you find him incredibly rich.

Heather: I got carried away.

Monica: You got caught!

Edward: Well, at least I don't have to use a pill to enhance my performance.

Alan: Oh, yeah? Right? Well, you're certainly trying to get to know Heather in a biblical sense.

Edward: I absolutely am not!

Monica: Better a pill than a fortune-hunting floozy!

Alan: How could you bring this gold digger into the house when we're still grieving for mother? You should be ashamed of yourself!

Tracy: Don't worry about it, big brother. After tonight there will be a lot less gold to dig.

Edward: Oh, lord, not you again.

Tracy: And you -- why don't you take another stroll through the lightning? Because your sugar daddy here won't be inheriting my mother's money.

Brook Lynn: My great grandmother, Lila -- she was kind and compassionate, and she loved my great grandfather, all right? So obviously, she's not happy about his new girlfriend!

Sage: Why can't we just accept the obvious? That board is warning me against Georgie. She's so jealous and so obsessed --

Dillon: Wait, hold on, hold on a sec. Obsessed over what? A hookup that happened a long time ago that didn't mean anything?

Trent: You know, and you seemed like such a sensitive guy.

Georgie: You know, Sage, if anyone's jealous here, it's you.

Sage: Of you? Right.

Georgie: No, of Brook. She's more talent in her --

Sage: But she doesn't even want to use it!

Georgie: Left pinky than you will ever have!

Sage: Why would I be jealous of somebody that stupid?

Brook Lynn: Can we get back to the board, please?

Sage: So what if Little Miss "Oh, please don't make me sing" has a better voice? I have motivation! I work my butt off!

Trent: She does.

Sage: And I am hotter than you will ever be.

Dillon: Hey!

Sage: Dillon certainly didn't need a pill to be with me!

Dillon: Stop!

Sage: What?

Dillon: Stop it!

Sage: You don't want Georgie hearing all the delicious details, like how your --

Lucas: Why don't you leave them alone!

Sage: How many times have you and Dillon had sex? Come on.

Dillon: Sage --

Sage: You can tell us! Zip?

Dillon: Sage --

Sage: That's what I thought.

Dillon: That's none of your business. It's not. Ok?

Sage: You can't take enough pills to be attracted to Georgie.

Dillon: Ugh.

Sage: She's afraid of sex.

Georgie: Sage, shut up!

Sage: I mean, look at her!

Georgie: Shut up! You are a miserable witch! Would you just get out of my life!

Dillon: Georgie, wait!

Emily: What are you doing here?

Nikolas: I -- I heard the sirens.

Emily: And so, naturally, you left the safety of the boathouse and you came up here where anyone could see you?

Nikolas: There's more places to hide in the main house. Besides, I missed you.

Emily: Well, as it happens, the sirens have nothing to do with you. A tanker truck just turned over not far from the gate, and it's blocking the road.

Nikolas: I'm not worried about the police finding me, but you should've warned me about the maid.

Emily: Who, Alice?

Nikolas: Yeah, she's -- Emily, she's patrolling the house with a -- you know -- with the straw?

Emily: A broom?

Nikolas: Yes, thank you. And she almost got me.

Emily: Yeah. Alice is passionately committed to home security.

Nikolas: Yeah, I'm lucky to be alive.

Brook Lynn: How -- how can they just break the circle over some dumb romantic crisis? I mean, don't they understand a spirit is trying to warn us, Lucas?


Lucas: Dillon and Georgie are basically fixated on each other.

Brook Lynn: That's great, but they agreed to this sťance!

Lucas: I know, but you weren't here when Dillon slept with Sage. I wasn't either, but I got plenty of heartbroken emails from Georgie. He really, really hurt her and he basically destroyed her self-confidence, and now Georgie can't help feeling insecure.

Brook Lynn: Lucas, I want them to be together just as much as anyone else, all right? But why can't they work on that later? I mean, we were making incredible progress here.

Lucas: "Incredible" in the sense of not to be believed?

Brook Lynn: No, look, a spirit is trying to contact us, whether you believe it or not, all right? We can't just leave them hanging out there.

Lucas: If I were in love with a girl who'd been hurt like Georgie, I think I would go make sure she was all right. The spirits? Sorry, but they'd have to wait.

Brook Lynn: Well, then, it's a good thing we aren't in love, right, because our minds, spirits, and souls are totally open to the beyond.

Lucas: Hey, speak for yourself.

Brook Lynn: Look, please. Just one more time -- will you help me, please?


Sage: I am so sick of her betrayed little virgin act. It's like she kept herself pure for Dillon, and then he went and slept with terrible me, and just because she got her feelings hurt, we're all supposed to grovel?

Trent: Look, you got hurt, too, Sage.

Sage: Yeah. Well, if Dillon Quartermaine thinks he can dump me anytime he wants, he's got another thought coming.

Trent: Look, going after his girlfriend is only going to make the problem worse.

Sage: Worse? I'll show you worse. By the time I am done with Dillon and his perfect, pure love, Georgie, they'll be traumatized for life.

Dillon: Sage can be pretty mean, huh?

Georgie: She's right, though. I am jealous of her.

Dillon: Yeah, but you shouldn't be.

Georgie: But when I think of you and her together, I -- Dillon, I just can't let it go, and that's -- that's why I set you up and that's -- that's why you get mad at me and that's why we fight. No wonder you are sick to death of me.

Dillon: Georgie, I -- I get frustrated sometimes, I get angry sometimes. I lose sleep. But sick to death of you? Never. Never, ever. You -- look at me. You are the most important thing in my whole life.

Tracy: You are defiling the house you shared with my mother. You're a disgrace and you know it!

Heather: That seems a little harsh. Nothing happened.

Tracy: Even Felicia, who is clearly biased in your favor, will have to admit you are not being virtuous!

Alan: We got kicked out of the contest for a lot less!

Monica: Yeah, we were just trying to work the system. You got caught in a full-blown assignation!

Heather: This is a complete misunderstanding.

Edward: You know, it doesn't really matter because I'm going to inherit my wife's personal fortune unless Felicia says Iím not.

Tracy: Which she's going to as soon as she finds out about your newest indiscretion!

Edward: If there is a choice between me and you --

Tracy: You don't have a prayer!

Edward: What about the other potential heirs like Jason, Emily, Skye? What about Justus?

Heather: Who's Justus?


Justus: God, Alice! Alice!

Alice: You're going to die, dirtbag!

Justus: Alice! Alice, it's me, Justus!

Alice: Oh! Sorry, sir.

Justus: What are you doing?

Alice: There's a trespasser somewhere in the house, and I'm going to find him.

Justus: Calm down, calm down. I get the idea.

Alice: Have you seen anyone suspicious around?

Justus: It's a wonder you can see anything in this dark, period. Why don't you check the attic?

Alice: That's brilliant! I'll start at the top of the estate and I'll search every single square foot until I find that person.

Faith: That Amazon almost killed me, too.

Justus: Why aren't you in the freezer?

Faith: Oh, God, I don't think anyone's ever asked me that before.

Justus: You're making jokes at a time like this? Don't you want to get out of this house alive?

Emily: You realize you're trapped in here now?

Nikolas: Hmm. Trapped in Emilyís bedroom -- what a nightmare.

Emily: You know, it's actually a fantasy from years ago.

Nikolas: A fantasy?

Emily: Mm-hmm. I had such a terrible crush on you.

Nikolas: Well, tell me your fantasy.

Emily: Uh-uh, no.

Nikolas: Come on, tell me.

Emily: Uh-uh, nope.

Nikolas: Please?

Emily: It's silly. I -- Iíd just discovered romance novels.

Nikolas: Tell me. Tell me your fantasy.

Emily: Dark and stormy night, stranded, thrown into one another's arms, one desperate night together.

Nikolas: What, were the police about to kick down the door?

Emily: Yeah. You were usually a cavalier or a knight wounded in battle, or a gunslinger fleeing from the law -- that kind of thing.

Nikolas: A gunslinger? Wow, I can't picture myself as a gunslinger.

Emily: Well, I tried reading "War and Peace" so I could imagine you in your native habitat -- you know, a Russian prince fighting Napoleon and taking shelter with me. But unfortunately, "War and Peace," though a classic of western literature, doesn't have a lot of the good stuff.

Nikolas: Good stuff? What good stuff?

Emily: Passionate kisses, promises of undying love. So, for a while, Iíd alternate one chapter of "War and Peace," a romance novel, followed by another chapter of "War and Peace." And the only thing that didn't change was you -- the hero of all of my daydreams. And now those dreams have come true.

Nikolas: You know, I haven't been all that heroic lately.

Emily: Well, you found your way back to me through darkness and confusion and lies. That's pretty heroic.

Nikolas: You never gave up on me. And that's what saved me.

Emily: And now we're here together, and no one can find us, at least for tonight.

Nikolas: Are you ready for the good stuff?


Dillon: Hey. I'm sorry, I --

Georgie: It's me again, isn't it?

Dillon: No. Georgie, look at me. It has never been you, ever. I mean, I'm so sorry that -- that I let you think that you're not beautiful or that I don't absolutely adore you because I do. You're all I want. You're all I need. I mean, I should've stayed away from Sage when you told me to. I shouldn't have ever given her a second glance. I shouldn't have ever made you feel --

Georgie: Hey, Dillon, Dillon --

[Engine revs]

Georgie: What is that? Oh, my God!

Dillon: Is that your mom?

Georgie: Get down! I know it, she -- she's meeting Mac in the house. They're going to have a -- they're going to fight with your mom and then --

Dillon: Hey, hey! I don't care. I don't care, ok?

Georgie: Dillon, this is serious. If Mac finds out that we're out here, I'm going.

Dillon: Shh! Listen to me, ok? If Mac gets mad, Mac gets mad, all right? That's it, but you are not leaving here until you hear what I have to say.

Georgie: Ok, I'm listening.

Dillon: Ok. I have done a lot, a lot of stupid things in my life that I regret. But I don't regret anything more than when I slept with Sage.


Sage: Dillon and Georgie are in there. I want you to scare them to death.

Trent: Any ideas?

Sage: You'll think of something.

Trent: Where are you going?

Sage: Just scare them, ok?

Trent: Are you crying?

Sage: Will you stop asking stupid questions and just go find a way to terrify Georgie and Dillon, please? Let me go haunt the house.

Dillon: We had this completely special thing that people don't get. I mean, I ruined that. I ruined that, you know? We promised ourselves to each other, and I broke the promise and then -- I know that there's nothing I can do to get that back for us, and I completely regret that my first time wasn't with you, but -- but here's the thing. I just -- I hope that you can find it in you to trust me again because, from the bottom of my heart, Georgie, I love you.

Georgie: Dillon, I love you, too.


Georgie: Wait, did you hear that?

Dillon: Whoa.

Faith: You actually care about me, don't you?

Justus: Faith, why do you think I defied Sonny, who's not only dangerous and a fanatic about loyalty, but the man pays well, too. Why do you think Iím risking a felony to help you escape, putting my job on the line, walking away from my family, such as it is?

Faith: Because I'm great in bed and I offered to bankroll a fresh start for both of us?

Justus: I care about you, Faith. I let you down when you needed me the most. I helped turn you cold and bitter. Now maybe I can help turn you around.

Faith: I'm sorry. I shouldn't joke. I -- I will find a way to be that woman that you loved before.

Justus: You won't make it through the night if you keep wandering around this house. Have you forgotten that every cop in this part of the country is looking for you?

Faith: No, but I heard footsteps. That's why I came up here, because I didn't want to get trapped in the freezer!

Edward: Felicia Jones is a sensible woman. She's not going to listen to any of you.

Alan: Why not? I've got nothing to lose. Neither does Monica.

Tracy: You know what? Stairways can be really treacherous in the dark.

Alan: Who said anything about stairways?

Edward: Is that a threat?

Monica: Alan, don't get close to her.

Tracy: Good grief! I can't even make the most innocuous statement! Who is that? Justus? That's Justus. What are you doing here?

Edward: I thought you were looking for the file.

Tracy: What file?

Justus: I lost the file for Sonny. I was drawing up some contracts.

Tracy: Oh, well, it sounds like an excuse to wander the house and spy on all of us!

Justus: I'm not scrambling to inherit anything, Tracy! I don't want your money!

Tracy: You are trying to catch one of us in the act of being unvirtuous so you can turn us into Felicia and keep the money for yourself!

Justus: I thought you were walking Ms. Webber to the door. Why is she still here?

Edward: Let's not get into that.

Alan: You're after the money, as well, aren't you?

Justus: Please, ok?

Monica: Well, you have a very good chance now that Edward has more or less disqualified himself.

[Knock on door]

Alan: Well, Emilyís going to win. I know that.

Edward: Alice, would you get the door, please?


Monica: Oh, for Peteís sake! Hello.

Felicia: Hello.

Alan: Hi.

Felicia: Hi. I had to hire a boat to get past the roadblock, so the emergency better be important.

Edward: What emergency? Who called you?

Tracy: I'm just trying to protect my family.

Felicia: Tracy said it was important.

Tracy: Oh, it is important. Daddy's been doing a little gardening.

Heather: Oh, this is just one big misunderstanding.

Alan: Yeah, wait till you hear it.

Edward: Unbelievable. One thing to raise a house of cold-blooded, blackmailing cobras and another thing to see your children, your own flesh and blood, reduced to whiny, pathetic tattletales!

Tracy: Daddy, you should be very proud. We learned it all from you, and one of us is going to be extremely rich.

Brook Lynn: Come on. Look, I just -- I really need to figure out what my great grandma has to say -- I mean, even if it's her spirit that we're in contact with.

Lucas: You can't talk to ghosts with a piece of wood and a game board.

Brook Lynn: Ok, fine. Look, you don't have believe, all right? Just keep an open mind.

Lucas: Everything that happened tonight can be explained.

Brook Lynn: Really?

Lucas: Yeah.

Brook Lynn: Ok, try me.

Lucas: All right.

Brook Lynn: Explain how the wheelchair fell down the stairs all by itself.

Lucas: Well, maybe one of the servants moved it and forgot to put it back, and they don't want to admit to it because they don't want to get fired.

Brook Lynn: And what about Heather almost getting hit by lightning?

Lucas: Heather was standing next to an exposed metal pipe in the middle of a lightning storm. Hello.

Brook Lynn: Oh -- what about the moans, huh?

Lucas: Oh, that was probably the wind. Whoo-hoo --

Brook Lynn: You don't know for sure. I mean, seriously, look, it could be a spirit. I mean, God, Lucas, they could be here! My great grandmother -- she could be in this room with us right now!

Lucas: You're not giving up on this, are you?

Brook Lynn: No, I'm not. So will you please quit wasting time and help me?

Lucas: Ok. You win.

Brook Lynn: Finally.

Tracy: The three of us practically caught Daddy in the act!

Monica: Heather made her intentions very clear.

Tracy: Yeah, uh-huh -- get Daddy into bed, get Daddy to the altar, and get Daddy's money.

Heather: You know, I've tried to be nice, but you people are ridiculous!

Alan: Wait, wait, wait, wait a second! Monica and I were rolling around in bed, and then father and Heather -- they came crashing down on top of us.

Monica: It was really bad behavior.

Tracy: They defiled our mother's house.

Alan: What do you know about this house?

Monica: You're only staying here for the money.

Alan: You should've been put out of this contest a long time ago.

Monica: She's actually far worse than any of us.

Felicia: Well, if you're going to argue about Edwardís behavior, then Iím going to have to impose some kind of order here.

Tracy: What are you prattling on about? We caught him. Cut him out!

Felicia: In order to honor Lilaís wishes, I have to hear everyone's arguments. So why don't we go into the living room and go over the whole thing?

Tracy: That's ridiculous!

Edward: Oh, I think that's a fine idea.

Tracy: Well, of course you do because it's an open-and-shut case against you!

Monica: I wouldn't be so sure. He's up to something.

Felicia: Ok.

Edward: Where do you think you're going?

Justus: I have to find that file.

Edward: I need a lawyer.

Justus: I didn't see what happened.

Edward: Good lawyers never do. I'll fill you in.

Justus: I really don't have time for this, ok?

Edward: You're stranded here like the rest of us. If Tracy gets that money and robs the more deserving heirs, it's on you!

Justus: Fine. Just -- just give me a moment.

Edward: We don't have a moment. Come on now.

Lucas: Why are we asking questions we know the answer to?

Brook Lynn: Because we need to warm up the board.

Lucas: Oh.

Brook Lynn: Is it summer? "Yes." Um -- ahem -- are -- are the lights on?

Lucas: Uh -- now, I know you don't mean to be guiding it, but, Brook --

Brook Lynn: Shh. Don't talk, all right? What is the first letter of my mom's name? And what's my father's name?

Brook Lynn: "N-E --" "Ned."

Lucas: It's totally unconscious, Brook, but you got to be doing something under the table --

Brook Lynn: Look, I'm not, all right? But are you?

Lucas: Actually, no.

Brook Lynn: No?

Lucas: "Ned -- no." "Ned -- no." "Ned -- no." No Ned?

Brook Lynn: Wait.

Lucas: What? "Ned -- no."

Brook Lynn: What's that? "Not"?

Lucas: "Ned not --"

Brook Lynn: I -- I don't get it. "Ned not," what?

Lucas: You know, maybe the spirit wants to call it quits for the night.

Brook Lynn: No. Come on, please.

Lucas: We obviously hit a random series of letters that spelled something out, but, Brook, I don't think that means --

Brook Lynn: No, wait, Lucas. Look, I get it. Ok? It's trying to tell me that my father's not in danger.

Lucas: If that's what you want to believe, fine.

Brook Lynn: Yes, come on.

Lucas: Great. Great.

Brook Lynn: Ahem.

Lucas: That's awesome.

Brook Lynn: Who is in danger?

Dillon: Listen, it could be, like, a stray dog or something. You don't know.

Georgie: No, a huge stray dog with big claws!

Dillon: Like a coyote or something!

Georgie: Or a desperate fugitive with long nails or a butcher knife!

Dillon: Wait -- stop, stop, stop! Ok!

Georgie: Dillon!

Dillon: I'm going to take care of it; I'm going to take care of it. Open the door.

Georgie: Are you kidding me? No!

Dillon: Just do it before I lose -- before I lose my nerve!

Georgie: Dillon, no! This is too dangerous!

Dillon: Georgie, open that door!

[Dillon yells]

Georgie: Dillon? Oh, my God! Dillon? Dillon!

[Georgie and Dillon scream]

Dillon: Wait, wait, wait! Stop! Stop! This is not helping!

Georgie: Did you see anything?

Dillon: No, I didn't.

Georgie: No, no, no, wait -- nothing suspicious at all?

Dillon: Uh -- uh -- could've been the wind.

Georgie: Oh.

Dillon: Not.

Georgie: No!

Dillon: Go, go, go, go, go!

[Georgie screams]

Dillon: Go!

[Knock on door]

Sage: Is anybody in there? Hello?


Nikolas: So if we pretend not to see this --

Sage: Oh.

Nikolas: A poor, confused young woman, maybe she'll just go away and not tell anyone that Iím here.

Emily: But if she does, we'll charge her with trespassing. Right?

Nikolas: Yeah. I mean, you'd have no choice.

Emily: Yeah, my family doesn't like people sneaking through their home and barging into rooms.

Sage: I won't say a word. I didn't see anything, nothing at all.

Nikolas: What was that?

Emily: That was so weird.

Nikolas: She won't -- she won't tell anyone.

Emily: You hope.

Nikolas: She doesn't want to get in any trouble. I think we're safe here, at least until the morning.

Justus: What were your plans regarding Heather's sleeping arrangements?

Monica: Sleeping? I don't think so.

Felicia: Objection -- speculation.

Alan: You can't object. You're the judge.

Felicia: Well, I want to hear Edwardís story. Answer the question.

Edward: What was the question again?

Justus: Where did you want Heather to sleep?

Monica: Objection! Sleep had nothing to do with it!

Edward: If you two would've been in your own room, nothing would've really happened. You know what I'm talking about?

Justus: Where did you want Heather to spend the night?

Edward: In the guest room!

Alan: Ask him if they were kissing.

Felicia: Were you kissing?

Justus: That's my question.

Felicia: Were you?

Edward: Define "kissing."

Tracy: Oh! Can't you see he's dodging? If Alan and Monica hadn't been rolling around in the bed, they'd still be at it!

Alan: We'd never have known the truth!

Justus: Edward had no intention of sharing his bed with Heather.

Alan: Oh, really? Then why did they come crashing down on top of us?

Justus: My client tripped.

Alan, Monica, and Tracy: What?

Justus: We all know how hard it is to see in the dark. Edward simply took a bad step.

Tracy: Can't you see that he's lying? What was about to happen between my father and this gardener had nothing to do with being a decent person. Daddy was going to take Heather Webber to bed in the house he shared with my mother!

Heather: Your honor?

Monica: Oh, please!

Heather: I want to take the stand!

Tracy: Not a chance!

Heather: I want to testify.

Tracy: You can't testify. You're exhibit A!

Dillon: Whoa. Close the door. Something at the boathouse.

Georgie: No, there's something out there!

Dillon: It's got, like -- like, claws or something.

Georgie: Gosh!

Brook Lynn: Wait, no -- you guys saw something?

Dillon: No, we heard it! We heard something! It was --

Georgie: Dillon -- he went after it!

Dillon: Yeah, with -- you know, like a paddle, like for a canoe? Like an oar. An oar.

Georgie: Oh, my God, there was this awful scratching sound!

Lucas: Well, maybe one of the gardeners was hoeing a flower garden.

Brook Lynn: Oh, right, yeah. What, in the middle of the night during a lightning storm?

Lucas: Well -- well, where -- where have you been?

Trent: Checking out the accident. The roads are still blocked.

Sage: Was this your great grandmother's?

Brook Lynn: Where'd you find that?

Sage: It was in the hall. It just fell right in front of me!

Brook Lynn: Like, out of thin air or what?

Sage: I don't know! Maybe Lilaís trying to get my attention to tell me something important.

Georgie: Yeah -- like "Don't track mud in the house, dear." You were scraping the side of the boathouse, weren't you?

Sage: No.

Georgie: And then you went and you came here digging through Lilaís things!

Sage: I don't know what you're talking about!

Brook Lynn: Give me that!

Sage: I didn't do anything!

Brook Lynn: You are sick!

Georgie: You are pathetic!

Dillon: Hey, yeah, Sage. I mean, you know why -- you wonder why people don't like you. Well, this is why.

Sage: You want to know something crazy? I thought you were my friend.

Dillon: I --

Georgie: Ahem.

Dillon: That was so stupid, so stupid. I shouldn't have said that.

Georgie: Why not? It's true.

Trent: You know what? I don't know why you guys bother with the channeling board. There are already too many evil spirits in here -- you, you, you, and you.

Nikolas: I'm starving.

Emily: So am I. That's the main reason we came up here in the first place, huh?

Nikolas: I know. You think Alice is guarding the kitchen?

Emily: Oh, Alice is nothing compared to Cook, but Cook goes to bed at 9:00 sharp and she sleeps like a log, so Iíll be right back, ok?

Nikolas: No, I want to go with you.

Emily: No, it's way too dangerous.

Nikolas: What? So, in any of those romance novels -- or "War and Peace," for that matter -- would the knight -- or the gunslinger, as the case may be -- allow the beautiful woman to go out into the dark and stormy night all by herself?

Emily: We'll take the back stairs.

Nikolas: Ok. Here you go.

Emily: Ok, thanks.

Tracy: Daddy was unfaithful to my mother for years. As her biographer, you must know the pain he caused her and the entire family. Time and time again, he broke her heart. He left numerous illegitimate children!

Alan: He left two.

Tracy: And that seems reasonable to you? Oh, right, it would.

Justus: I object.

Felicia: Sustained.

Justus: Thank you, your honor.

Heather: As you can see -- or we all could if it weren't for the storm --

Justus: Your honor, would you kindly instruct the witness to move it along, please?

Felicia: Get to the point, please.

Tracy: He can't even observe a respectful mourning period!

Heather: Everyone mourns differently.

Alan and Monica: Objection!

Tracy: Heather is an insult to my mother's memory! The mere fact that she's in this house tonight proves that Daddy has deep character flaws. He is not a good person and does not deserve to inherit. I rest my case!

Edward: You don't have a case to rest!

Justus: Closing arguments, your honor.

Edward: What, are in a rush all of a sudden?

Felicia: Go ahead, counselor.

Justus: Lila loved Edward unconditionally. Now, I don't expect any of you to understand that. She was well aware of his faults, but she loved him anyway, as my grandmother loved him, as many women have loved him.

Edward: Excuse me -- whose side are you on?

Justus: Lila understood that Edward was imperfect. Now, who among you here has been faithful to your spouses? Alan? Monica? Tracy?

Monica: At least I have a husband to cheat on.

Tracy: Shut up!

Justus: It would break Lilaís heart to see Edward grieving alone.

Tracy: I doubt that!

Justus: She would urge you to show compassion.

Alan: If she were here, she'd kick him out on his philandering butt!

Justus: She'd remind you of how much she loved all his children!

Monica: She'd change the locks!

Justus: Edward has been responsible for keeping this family together.

Edward: That's right! That's absolutely right!

Justus: By allowing Edward to grieve, you're allowing him to take care of his family. Lila would expect all of you to understand that and give your father a second chance. Now, I rest my case and leave the final decision in the judge's capable hands, if you'll excuse me.

Edward: Well, wait, wait, wait! Where are you going?

Justus: I have work to do.

Edward: We're in the middle of a trial.

Justus: You're in the middle of your own living room with the lights out, trying to keep your hands on your late wife's money and your girlfriend at the same time. Now, Iíve done all I can!

Edward: Your honor, I object!

Tracy: You can't object! He's your attorney!

Justus: I'll send you the bill!

Felicia: All right. I've made my decision.

Alan: Oh, thank God!

Felicia: One of you has been eliminated as a potential heir.

Trent: You know, Sage really cares for Dillon, and all of you know it. But she set that aside to try and be a part of the singing group. And what does she get for her trouble? You gang up on her. You made her cry, all of you. And for what? Because she did something stupid to try and get Dillonís attention? Not that you have ever done anything like that, right, Georgie?

Georgie: She's a witch.

Trent: You know what? Sage has been shuffled around her entire life.

Georgie: So has Dillon!

Trent: Then you should understand Sage better than anyone! But, man, you don't even try to! None of you try! You know, if Sage had a mother like yours, she'd be grateful. She'd do anything to make her happy, so what do you do? Oh, you let her stand in the spotlight until you want it back. Then you shove her out the way; pressure her into lip-synching to your voice. All you ever do is use her, all of you. You know, Brook Lynn, to fight with her mother. Georgie, for someone to dump on. Lucas, for someone to feel superior to! And, Dillon -- man, you have sex with Sage and you toss her out like she's nothing. You know, now you keep her around to pump up your ego or to pay attention to when you want to make Georgie jealous. And it works every time, doesn't it? You know, so who cares if big man Dillon stomps on Sage's heart in the process?

Georgie: That's not fair.

Trent: No, you know what? You're right! It's not fair! The way you guys treat Sage is anything but fair! Now, I know Sage is difficult, ok? She wants too much, she doesn't play fair, but you know what? Neither do any of you. Y'all are a bunch of spoiled, selfish brats. I don't know about you, but I'm going to find my friend.

Dillon: He's right. We have to apologize.

Emily: Did you get that corkscrew?

Nikolas: Well, I thought you did.

Emily: You know, we can't risk the back stairs again.

Nikolas: What, not even for a 1963 merlot?

Emily: I might have one in my beach bag here.

Dillon: Sage?

Brook Lynn: Hey, are you in there?

Dillon: Sage?

Georgie: Know what, guys? She probably just went home.

Trent: How?

Lucas: I'm really sorry we've been so awful.

Dillon: Yeah, me, too. Sage?

Georgie: Come on, Sage, just let us in! It's really spooky out here!

Dillon: Yeah, come. We're really sorry.

[Georgie screams]

Georgie: Sorry, Brook Lynn.

>> On the next "General Hospital" --

Emily: Does it seem cold in here all of a sudden?

Nikolas: Maybe it's a sign.

Emily: A terrible omen of disaster?

Edward: It's Lila. She's here.

Heather: [As Lila] That's right, darling. I've been here all along.

Dillon: I'm going to check her pulse, ok?

Lucas: Who could've done it?

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