GH Transcript Monday 8/2/04

General Hospital Transcript Monday 8/2/04

Provided by Suzanne

Proofread by Brian

Lois: I will personally supervise the girls every step of the way, and I assure you that the project is above reproach. Is something wrong?

Lorenzo: Don't quote me on this, but Dillon Quartermaine appears to be at the bar in drag, picking up some guy.

Lois: Wait just a minute. You get your hands off that boy’s body immediately.

Tracy: Could somebody explain to me why the horticultural expert was included in an urgent family meeting?

Edward: You know, I really don't appreciate you treating Heather like hired help.

Alan, Monica, and Tracy: She is hired help!

Monica: If you're not paying her now, you will be.

Justus: Careful, everybody, your fangs are showing.

Heather: I should go.

Edward: No, don't leave because of Tracy.

Ned: What are we doing here, anyway?

Emily: Well, I asked Alice to call you here. I want to discuss grandmother's will.

Tracy: Of course you do.

Ned: Let her speak, mother.

Emily: Listen, I'm withdrawing from the competition, waiving my rights. I don't know what the legal term for that is, but I don't want any part of the contest to determine who gets grandmother's estate.

Tracy: Is anybody buying this? Because you certainly don't fool me.

Alexis: You do realize this is a waste of everybody's time.

Ric: That confession is a lie, and I am going to prove it, and then I'm going to charge Sonny with obstruction of justice. I don't want to charge you, too.

Alexis: Is that a threat?

Ric: No. As a matter of fact, I happen to respect you. I think you're crazy, but I do respect you, Alexis. But I think you've suffered enough for Sonny's sake, don't you? Now, do yourself a favor -- go back in there, resign from Sam's case before it's too late, or else you're going to go down with him.

Alexis: And as much as I wish I didn't, I respect you as a jurist.

Ric: Thank you.

Alexis: Which is why I'm advising you to accept the fact that this case is over. Sam has been vindicated. Let it go.

Ric: Look, a death-row inmate comes forward a week before he's about to be executed and he confesses out of nowhere? Come on.

Alexis: The man was a drifter. He committed murder in two different states. Why is it so hard to believe that he committed another one?

Ric: Alexis, doesn't it seem awfully convenient that all of a sudden he came forward? Sam, Sonny's pregnant mistress, is about to be sent off to prison, and lo and behold, this man comes forward and confesses? Come on, he is lying. You have got to see that. Sonny probably offered to provide for his family in exchange for the man's testimony.

Alexis: You have no proof. If you go into that courtroom with these unfounded accusations, you're not only going to lose this case, you're going to lose your credibility as district attorney.

Ric: Right.

Alexis: For once in your life, choose your own well-being instead of this vendetta against your brother.

Sonny: I appreciate what you've done, you know? I mean, helping me with my baby and all, and Sam. It means a lot to me, you know? I'm serious.

Carly: I know.

Lucky: We're here to take you to court.

Sam: Ok. I'm ready.

Sonny: Hey, don't worry, ok? It's going to be over soon.

Lucky: You're being subpoenaed to testify at Sam's hearing.

Tracy: Behold our resident saint, mother's heir apparent, in more ways than one.

Emily: Oh, believe what you want, Tracy. I'm withdrawing from the competition.

Ned: Emily, grandmother didn't see it as a contest.

Justus: Emily, she wanted the whole family to have an equal chance at the inheritance.

Monica: Lila was hoping her will would encourage us to treat each other better.

Emily: I understand that grandmother wanted to give us all a chance to change.

Alan: You don't need to change, sweetie. You're perfect just as you are.

Tracy: Ugh! Please, that's what she's counting on. This conspicuous display of virtue will give her the lion's share of the fortune.

Emily: Oh, I have my trust fund, Tracy. I don't need any more money.

Tracy: I applaud you, Emily. You're not even a Quartermaine by blood, and yet you have mastered the art of the blatant lie. The rest of us have had years --

Justus: Oh, keep it up, Tracy; you'll be out of this competition with your next sentence.

Ned: Oh, it's only a matter of time. Does anyone seriously think my mother is going to win a competition based on virtue?

Tracy: Mother wanted every one of us to have a chance.

Monica: Face it, Tracy. Lila knew as well as all of us you couldn't win this. It was her way of cutting you out of the will by not drawing attention to the fact that you're nothing but a greedy snob who doesn't deserve one dime!

Tracy: Thank you, and maybe my mother wanted you out of the will and you out of the will and --

Alan: Oh, give it a rest! You know that Emily's the only one who deserves the money.

Heather: Stop. Can't you see how much you're hurting this poor man?

Lois: Maybe you didn't realize, but Astrid is underage.

Simon: Well, I'm sure there's no harm in taking her to a restaurant.

Lois: As long as you understand she's not on the menu.

Simon: Lois, you have nothing to worry about. Astrid and I are simply getting to know each other.

Lois: Hmm. And what exactly did touching her leg tell you?

Simon: That Astrid's clearly in great shape. You know, able to handle the rigors of the Grrrl Power competition.

Lois: Well, all the girls in the group are beautiful and talented and able to handle any musical challenge you throw their way, but now if you'll excuse us, Astrid and I have a little girl talk to take care of. Come on. Ahem.

Dillon: I can't run in these heels.

Lois: Whose idea was it for you to have drinks with Simon anyway?

Dillon: Gee, let me think -- Simon's? And you said to do whatever he wanted.

Lois: Within reason. I thought you girls would answer some questions, maybe sing a song. I never intended for anyone to date him.

Dillon: Believe me, I don't like this any more than you do.

Lois: Well, it's over, ok? I'm going to go make excuses right now, and I'll just tell him. I'll tell him it's over.

Dillon: Well, no, I don't want to, you know, tick him off or anything. This is really important for L&B, so --

Lois: I don't see any other alternative.

Dillon: I'll finish the date. But stay close, because I am not letting that guy touch my leg again.

[Dillon sighs]

Lois: You are a very brave and generous man, Dillon.

Dillon: Emphasis on "man." You owe me, and I will be collecting.

Brook Lynn: Look, this is crazy, ok? We have to tell the truth.

Lois: Dillon has generously offered to finish the date with Simon. The rest of you need to leave.

Georgie: We're here for moral support.

Brook Lynn: Why is Sage's uncle here, anyway?

Lois: He saw Dillon. I need to go out there and do damage control right now.

Brook Lynn: No, ma. Let Sage deal with her uncle.

Lois: I think he might listen to me a little better.

Brook Lynn: How well do you know this guy?

Lois: Will you let me be the adult for once? If I don't get out there right now, then Dillon is going to be exposed for cross-dressing.

Sage: We can't afford to alienate Simon. Come on. Let Lois do her work. Let's go, come on.

Lois: Did you order us another glass of champagne?

Lorenzo: They're bringing a bottle. I imagine it will take a while to explain why Dillon is dressed as a girl.

Simon: So, are you enjoying yourself, Astrid?

Dillon: [Disguised voice] Oh, yes. Thank you very much, Mr. Niles.

Simon: Simon. Call me Simon.

Dillon: Simon. Simon, I can't wait to work with you on your show -- or your contest -- whatever it is.

Simon: Oh, we'll have plenty of time to get to know each other before then.

Dillon: All right.

Simon: In fact, why don't we go somewhere and continue this conversation a little more private?

Dillon: How private?

Simon: My hotel room?

Alexis: Mr. Barron's confession to the murder of Evelyn Mest has been investigated by the Texas Department of Corrections and the South Carolina Attorney General's office. And in light of these new discoveries, I am petitioning the court to vacate Ms. McCall's conviction and release her immediately.

Ric: The State of New York objects to counsel's motion. David Barron's confession is a complete fabrication, a blatant lie, which was bought and purchased by the father of Sam McCall's unborn child in order to avoid Ms. McCall from serving out her justly imposed prison sentence.

Judge: Those are serious charges, Mr. Lansing.

Ric: Well, I'm prepared to back them up, your honor.

Judge: Then call your first witness.

Ric: Thank you. The state calls Michael Corinthos Jr. to the stand.

Dillon: [Disguised voice] Are you hungry? Because I am. I'm just -- I'm starving.

Simon: Well, isn't that lucky? My hotel room has room service.

Dillon: Oh. It does. Actually, I was wondering if we could eat here, because the menu's just amazing. I could eat, like, the whole left side -- if you're buying.

Simon: Sure, sure, why not? It'll give us time to get to know each other better.

Lois: Maxie was the obvious choice, but when she wasn't interested and Simon wanted to see the group right away, Dillon filled in.

Lorenzo: Well, that was accommodating on his part.

Lois: The kid is a real team player, yeah, plus, he loves his girlfriend. And Georgie really wants to be a part of this Grrrl Power thing, as does your niece, by the way.

Lorenzo: You know, I hate to be the voice of reason here, but how is lip-synching in a band that includes Dillon Quartermaine in drag good for Sage's career?

Sage: Does it seem weird to you guys that Simon is so focused on Dillon?

Georgie: No, he's focused on Astrid.

Sage: I know, but why? I mean, we're lip-synching to a track. It's not like Astrid has the strongest vocal or something.

Georgie: Are you seriously jealous that Dillon's getting more attention from Simon than you are?

Sage: I'm trying to figure Simon out. He is the judge of this competition, you know.

Brook Lynn: And he obviously doesn't have any appreciation for music.

Sage: You know, if you hate the song so much, why did you record it in the first place?

Brook Lynn: The same reason why I agreed to do this stupid girl band thing. Look, it --

Georgie: Shh.

Sage: Oh, here.

Lucas: How's the conspiracy?

Georgie: Hi, Lucas.

Brook Lynn: What conspiracy are you referring to?

Lucas: Whatever you were talking about that you suddenly stopped talking about when I came over here. Well, you better think of something to tell me, or I'm going to get a little paranoid.

Trent: Ladies, perfect timing. I just saw something at work.

Georgie: Oh, wait, Trent. Have you met my cousin Lucas? Lucas, Trent. Trent, Lucas.

Trent: Yeah, yeah, yeah, hey.

Lucas: Yeah.

Trent: L&B records, right?

Lucas: Yeah, that's right. How you doing?

Trent: How you doing? I'm good.

Brook Lynn: What's the emergency, Trent?

Trent: I just played back the audition tape on the monitors at L&B. Has Dillon always been into that, or is it just --

Lucas: Into what?

Georgie: Look, this is Lois' idea. She's probably going to fire you for snooping and making fun of Dillon.

Trent: Hey, look, hey, Dillon's cool, ok? And I don't have a problem with alternative lifestyles.

Lucas: How alternative?

Trent: The dude's a drag queen.

Heather: Your father needs understanding and support, not all this bickering. You're like a pack of wolves.

Ned: Fighting is what the Quartermaines do best.

Alan: And father is the leader of the pack.

Justus: He did set the standard for combative behavior.

Emily: Listen, Heather's just trying to help.

Monica: Heather and the Quartermaines go back a long way, Em.

Alan: Yeah, she has a history of extorting money from us. She had temporary custody of Jason when he was an infant, and she tried to steal his trust fund.

Heather: I've made many mistakes in the past, and I'm sorry if I've hurt anyone, but I changed.

Tracy: Yes, you are much more open to negotiation than you were, I'll give you that.

Ned: What do you mean?

Tracy: Oh, well, Heather and I almost came to terms last night when I offered to buy her out. She was so willing to forget about mother's rose garden and her sudden interest in Daddy and leave town.

Monica: What stopped her?

Tracy: My bid was too low.

Edward: That's enough, Tracy.

Tracy: No, Daddy, it's not enough, and it won't be enough till she's gone for good.

Heather: I'll go now.

Edward: No. No, you are my guest.

Heather: You shouldn't be around all this fighting when you're in so much pain over your wife. Goodbye, Edward.

Alan: Good riddance!

Edward: I'm going after her.

Justus: Edward, wait. As much as I hate to agree with Tracy, you are vulnerable right now.

Edward: You know, I think I'm quite capable of recognizing who has my best interests at heart and who doesn't.

Tracy: I'm trying to protect you, you old goat.

Edward: You know, the only thing you're protecting, Tracy, is your bank account, and the way you're treating Heather, you're going to be eliminated from the competition. Your mother hated spite, and so do I.

Ric: Your honor, I'd like to let the record show that Mr. Corinthos and I are half brothers and that we are estranged.

Judge: So noted. Proceed.

Ric: Thank you. Mr. Corinthos, is it true that you are the father of Sam McCall's unborn child?

Sonny: Yeah.

Ric: So it's safe to say that you have a vested interest in the outcome of today's hearing. You don't want to see your daughter born in prison, right?

Sonny: That's true.

Ric: Also safe to say that you would do anything to make sure that Sam McCall is exonerated today?

Sonny: Well, that's not up to me.

Ric: You're familiar with the practice of commissioning confessions from death-row inmates in exchange for lifetime support for the families that they leave behind, Mr. Corinthos?

Alexis: Objection. Leading, your honor.

Judge: Confine your questions to the particulars of Ms. McCall's case, Mr. Lansing.

Ric: Does the name David Barron mean anything to you?

Sonny: No.

Ric: No. Well, it should. He is the inmate who confessed to setting the fire that killed Evelyn Mest. It provided a convenient alibi for the mother of your child. Did you hire somebody to commission that confession?

Sonny: No.

Ric: Do you know that David Barron had a wife, Erica, and two small children? Let me ask you this. How much is it going to cost you to send both of those kids through college and then provide for Erica for the rest of her life?

Sonny: Oh --

Alexis: Your honor, I'm objecting again to this line of questioning.

Judge: The witness has answered the question, Mr. Lansing. If you don't have any evidence to substantiate your claim, I'm going to excuse Mr. Corinthos from the stand.

Ric: Mr. Corinthos, are you aware that perjury is a felony and may result in a prison sentence?

Sonny: Yeah, I am.

Ric: I'll ask you again. Did you buy David Barron's confession in order to exonerate Samantha McCall?

Sonny: No, I did not.

Ric: No further questions.

Alexis: Mr. Corinthos, the D.A. has stated for the record that you and he are estranged half brothers. Could you elaborate, please?

Sonny: Ric and I have the same mother.

Alexis: Were you raised together?

Sonny: No.

Alexis: Did you spend any time together?

Sonny: No.

Alexis: Were you even aware of each other?

Sonny: I wasn't aware of Ric until he showed up on my door in 2002.

Alexis: At which time he introduced himself as your brother?

Sonny: No. Actually he applied for a job. He said he wanted to be my attorney.

Alexis: So, Mr. Lansing, your brother, initially lied to you?

Sonny: Yes.

Alexis: Has he lied to you about anything else?

Ric: Objection, your honor. This is irrelevant.

Alexis: Your honor, the district attorney is the one who opened up this line of questioning. I'm merely trying to demonstrate his motive for the allegations regarding Mr. Corinthos.

Judge: Objection overruled. Answer the question, Mr. Corinthos.

Sonny: Ric has lied to me on several occasions.

Alexis: Tell me, Mr. Corinthos, why do you think your brother hates you so much?

Emily: I just want to resign as a contender for grandmother's estate.

Justus: No, no, no, Emily. Lila made it very clear. The only way to be eliminated was to be excluded by the judge.

Alan: And we don't know who the judge is.

Monica: And you deserve it. It's supposed to go to the most virtuous, and, obviously, that's you.

Ned: Well, if you really want to withdraw, you can always just start behaving like the rest of the family. Every single one of us has behaved badly at one time or another.

Justus: Hey, you speak for yourself.

Ned: See? Even Justus has embraced the spirit of the competition.

Emily: Listen, I don't care about the money. If I'm awarded grandmother's estate, I'll just divide it equally among the whole family.

Alan: Everyone?

Emily: Yeah, every generation from grandfather to little Kristina. I'll even track down A.J.

Justus: You know what? Lila would love that idea.

Monica: Well, now that that's settled, I'd like to get some air. Want to go for a walk?

Alan: Oh, sounds good.

Justus: A walk? Since when did Monica and Alan have an interest in nature?

Monica: No. No, no. No.

Alan: Monica, we've been getting on so well. What's the matter with you?

Monica: Yes, and it's been wonderful, but there is something a little more important than sex.

Georgie: Simon Niles.

Sage: You know, anybody who's anybody?

Lucas: And now he's holding a contest for girl bands. I know all this. It's the Dillon in a dress part I'm not clear on.

Georgie: We couldn't find Maxie, so Dillon filled in.

Brook Lynn: Look, it was an emergency, kind of a onetime deal, but it --

Georgie: But Simon decided he liked Astrid, and so now Dillon's stuck.

Trent: Excuse me. Does Dillon own stock in L&B?

Brook Lynn: No. Why?

Trent: Ok, what would it take for you, man?

Lucas: To put on a dress? Forget it. Not my thing.

Trent: I mean, not that there's anything wrong with it.

Lucas: Right. I'm not judging.

Georgie: This is exactly why I didn't want you to know. Dillon is great. He hates every minute of this. And you know what? He's just trying to help us out.

Brook Lynn: He's doing this because Georgie asked him to.

Georgie: Lucas, we have to be really cool to Dillon about this, please.

Lucas: Right.

Georgie: I'm serious. You have to act like you don't even know.

Brook Lynn: No. You know what? We need to stop this, Georgie, as in now.

Georgie: No, we can't! Listen, if Simon finds out that Astrid is, you know -- you know, a boy, then he's going to go postal. He really likes her.

Brook Lynn: I'm not talking about Simon. I'm talking about my mom, ok? I don't want her spending any more time with your uncle, the arms dealer.

Sage: My uncle is not a criminal, ok? He's a responsible businessman who happens to be handsome and smart. And if your mom wants to go have a drink with him, good for her.

Brook Lynn: If your uncle is so fabulous, he shouldn't have a hard time finding somebody else to hit on besides my mom.

Lois: So you've heard of Justin Timberlake?

Lorenzo: I've heard of him.

Lois: He was in a boy band that made a few gazillion dollars around the world, and now his solo career has taken off, too. And the same thing could happen for Sage. She could be part of this girl band, gain a lot of experience, and then use it as a platform to launch her solo career.

Lorenzo: As opposed to your daughter's solo career.

Lois: Yeah, ok. Yes, I want Brookie to have a solo career after she's part of a girl band and gets experience that way. And I'm offering the same thing for Sage. She could be with a girl band, learn how to perform, and then use it -- be stronger when it's time to launch a solo album.

Lorenzo: Impressive.

Lois: My long-term vision?

Lorenzo: Your ability to spin even the most awkward situation into something workable, even advantageous. I feel like I'm being charmed right out of my pants.

Lois: I'd almost like to see that.

Simon: I admire a girl with a healthy appetite.

Dillon: [Disguised voice] Hmm, you do? I love to eat. I do. I love tacos and -- and French fries and hamburgers. And anything sweet, too. I just -- I don't diet at all, you know.

Simon: That is so refreshing.

[Dillon chuckles]

Simon: You know, it's so nice to see a girl who's, you know, secure in who she is -- and in her appearance.

Dillon: I -- um -- have to use the bathroom.

Heather: Thank you.

Edward: I'm glad I found you.

Heather: I'm sorry you followed me. I don't mean to be rude or ungrateful. I just need to be alone for a little while.

Edward: Not until you let me apologize for my family's deplorable behavior.

Heather: Please, you don't need to apologize.

Edward: Heather, you are an unexpected blessing to me. You were a wonderful, supportive friend when I needed one. You're even taking care of Lila's garden. Would I let anybody insult you? Least of all, my wretched offspring.

Tracy: Psst.

Alan: Mother just wasn't mean enough to cut Tracy out of her will altogether.

Monica: And that's why she gave her this one last chance. But we can't run the risk of her getting some of this money, Alan. I mean, she could win by default.

Alan: How? What's she going to do, grow a heart?

Monica: No, but she's not going to stop at pushing you and me and the children out from the running.

Alan: We've more than earned that money.

Monica: And I have no intention of seeing one cent of Lila's inheritance go to either your sister or your father.

Alan: Well, I wouldn't worry. Tracy and my father have no capacity for virtuous behavior.

Monica: Under normal circumstances, right, but we can't expect this family to behave like Quartermaines right now. That's why we have to deliberately provoke them into bad behavior and get them out of this race fast.

Tracy: How'd you like to make 50 bucks?

Dillon: [Russian accent] I'm kind of busy right now.

Tracy: It won't take long. See that old man over there? I want you to walk by his table and accidentally dump that glass of water on his lap.

Dillon: Really, I can't -- can't -- cannot do that.

Tracy: Fine. I'll make it 100.

Lois: Hmm. No need to rush your business for me.

Lorenzo: Oh, that would be the gangster business, correct?

Lois: If it walks like a duck, swims like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's a duck.

Lorenzo: So which one am I, the gangster or the duck?

Lois: What you are is smooth.

Lorenzo: Ah.

Lois: And you're able to make fun of yourself -- which I will grant you is a rare quality for a gangster.

Lorenzo: Unless I'm not a gangster, in which case you just appreciate my sense of humor.

Lois: Hmm. A sense of truthfulness and honesty is something I would appreciate much more.

Lorenzo: Ask me a question, I'll give you the truth.

Lois: Oh, yeah. Sure, right.

Lorenzo: See, obviously, I can't win. You made up your mind based on your own prejudices, so there's nothing I could say --

Lois: Oh, wait just a New York minute. Are you saying I rushed to judgment?

Lorenzo: Haven't you?

Lois: Ahem -- ok, Mr. Honest answer. Have you ever broken the law?

Lorenzo: Yes.

Lois: Are you breaking it right now?

Lorenzo: No. All my transactions are legal in the country where I conduct them.

Lois: Nice dodge.

Lorenzo: You asked for the truth. I gave it to you.

Lois: Are you a gunrunner?

Lorenzo: I run a legitimate international shipping conglomerate.

Lois: So to keep it clean, you protect your business with paperwork?

Lorenzo: I don't enjoy violence, Lois. My brother, whom I miss very much -- he liked to live outside the law, live dangerously. And he was murdered, shoved off a balcony with a steak knife through his chest. I intend to live longer, because I have to protect Sage. And I love her, and I intend to provide her with a safe, secure home.

Lois: I believe you.

Lorenzo: That's progress.

Brook Lynn: Hey. Look, I have to talk to you, in private, ok?

Lois: Don't worry. Last time I saw Astrid, she was in the ladies' room.

Brook Lynn: Oh, ok, but Astrid won't need a dress if you don't come with me right now.

Lois: Excuse me?

Lorenzo: Of course.

Sonny: Ric's angry because my mother chose to raise me alone instead of giving me up for adoption so she could live with him and his father.

Alexis: So your brother is punishing you for something that happened when you were 6 years old?

Sonny: Yeah.

Ric: Objection, your honor. This is -- this testimony is completely irrelevant. It's malicious. It's ridic--

Judge: Overruled! Continue, Ms. Davis.

Alexis: Thank you. Do you believe D.A. Lansing's allegations that you purchased the confession that exonerated Ms. McCall stems from his personal dislike of you?

Sonny: Yes.

Alexis: In fact, do you think that Mr. Lansing is jealous of you?

Sonny: Yes.

Alexis: Because your mother liked you best?

Sonny: There doesn't seem to be any other reason.

Alexis: Thank you. I have no further questions.

Judge: I'm calling a brief recess.

Alexis: I tried to warn you.

Ric: Congratulations, counselor. That was the most brilliant display of suborning perjury I've ever seen.

Alexis: Sam is innocent, and Sonny told the truth.

Ric: Sonny obstructed justice and he lied about it under oath. He is going to burn for it, and so are you. Just know that you brought it on yourself.

Judge: The confession of David Barron, regarding the act of arson which led to the death of Evelyn Mest, has been investigated and verified by the Texas Department of Corrections and the State Attorney General's office of South Carolina. Said confession, having been accepted as true and authentic, the verdict against Samantha McCall is hereby vacated. Ms. McCall, you are free to go. This court is adjourned.

[Judge pounds gavel]

Lois: Brookie, there is a line between daughterly concern and being overly obnoxious, and you are walking the wrong side of it.

Brook Lynn: Well, get used to it.

Lois: I mean it! I don't want you running around telling me what to do. It's not acceptable behavior.

Brook Lynn: No, I mean it, Mom. Look, unless you stop seeing Alcazar, your girl band doesn't have a lead singer.

Lois: Well, that sounds like an ultimatum to me.

Brook Lynn: Yeah.

Lois: Nonnegotiable, nothing less than a total surrender is accepted?

Brook Lynn: Look, Mom, it's for the best, ok? I'm serious. Stop seeing Alcazar.

Lois: First of all, you need to understand that Lorenzo Alcazar and I are not dating.

Brook Lynn: How long did we live in Benson Hurst for, ma? I mean, seriously, you spent your whole life teaching me not to hang out with guys like him.

Lois: Yeah, with good reason.

Brook Lynn: But it's ok for you to have lunch with one?

Lois: Oh, you are not seriously comparing Lorenzo Alcazar to those no-neck Fratelli twins?

Brook Lynn: Ma, a gangster is a gangster. Is that not what you always said?

Lois: Ok, Brookie, there's something you need to know. It is a mistake to rush to judgment. You can't assume because a man prefers dark suits or has beautiful manners or is mysterious about how he earns his money that he is gangster, no. Sometimes he could just turn out to be an international entrepreneur whose business is legal in countries where he conducts it.

Brook Lynn: Ok, Mom, now I'm really scared for you.

Sage: So, how's your date with Lois going?

Lorenzo: It's a business meeting.

Sage: Uh-huh. You're here buying her drinks.

Lorenzo: I have no choice. Ms. Cerullo is a very determined woman.

Sage: She likes you.

Lorenzo: Well, I certainly hope so.

Sage: No, I mean, like, likes you likes you. And I think you like her, too.

Lorenzo: I simply enjoy negotiating. Ms. Cerullo happens to be a worthy and interesting opponent.

Sage: You don't seriously call her Ms. Cerullo, do you?

Lorenzo: What should I call her?

Sage: Lois. If you act all polite and mysterious, she's going to think you're hiding something. Georgie's already telling Brook Lynn that you're some evil criminal.

Lorenzo: I don't want you thinking you need to defend me.

Sage: Of course I'm going to defend you. You're my uncle and I love you. Besides, you're rich and handsome and single and perfect for Lois. And she might actually be perfect for you, too, and it's --

Lorenzo: Look, don't get ahead of yourself. Ms. Ceru-- Lois and I -- just becoming friends.

Sage: Friendship is a great place to start.

Edward: Here.

Heather: Oh, thank you.

Edward: Young people have no manners these days.

Heather: Oh, it was just an accident.

Edward: You're much too forgiving. And I've noticed that about you already.

Heather: Well, I try to make allowances for people in hopes that they'll make allowances for me.

Edward: Well, that's very generous, considering you're all drenched. Well, look, I can't have you sitting here in a wet dress, so come on, I'll walk you home.

Monica: Tracy and Edward shouldn't be too hard to eliminate, but Justus is going to be a challenge. I mean, Lila had a soft spot for him.

Alan: She had a soft spot for Ned, as well. He needs money for L&B, and he is a master manipulator.

Monica: So Ned's our biggest competition.

Alan: The only question is, do we eliminate him first, or do we wait for Ned to get rid of father, Justus, and Tracy for us?

Ned: I'd like to buy out L&B's principal investor and fund the company myself. And with grandmother's money, I can turn this into a major record label.

Emily: Ned --

Ned: Emily, look, I respect the fact that you want to divide the money equally, if you win. But on the off chance that you don't win, I need someone on my side. So, Justus, what do you say? I'm willing to share the prize in return for some cooperation.

Justus: Count me out.

Ned: What, too virtuous?

Justus: Too cautious. Lila clearly wanted this to be a fair competition. Rigging this thing could easily get me eliminated. Good luck.

Ned: So are you disappointed in me?

Emily: Listen, I understand why you want to win.

Ned: I never claimed to be a saint, but I think I come closer to virtue than my grandfather and my mother -- or Alan and Monica, for that matter.

Emily: This is the exact opposite of what grandmother would've wanted.

Ned: How was your walk?

Monica: Productive.

Alan: We decided. We're going to knock Tracy out of the competition first.

Monica: And you are in the best position to do that by pretending to be on her side.

Emily: Mom, do you hear yourself?

Alan: What's wrong, Alice?

Alice: This just came in the mail, and it has no return address.

Ned: Did you see the messenger?

Alice: No, no, it just came through the mail slot.

Emily: That's grandmother's personal stationery.

Alan: "To the loved ones of Lila Quartermaine."

Lucky: So what now?

Ric: I want you to shadow Samantha McCall.

Lucky: Why?

Ric: Well, because her verdict has been vacated. But she can be retried if there's sufficient evidence. Follow her, get me some.

Sam: Thank you.

Alexis: You're innocent, Sam, and I'm glad the judge recognized that.

Carly: It bother you that you just perjured yourself?

Sonny: I -- no, because I didn't. Look, you know, Jason got all the details. I didn't talk to anybody. I didn't pay a dime.

Carly: Well, thank God you didn't, because Ric was out for blood.

Sonny: I mean, Alexis is the one that sealed the deal. You know, she hates my guts. But for whatever reason, she wanted to believe me, and all I had to do is tell her what she wanted to hear.

Ned: Must be some kind of prank.

Emily: Isn't there supposed to be a judge, someone watching us all the time?

Monica: We should open it.

Emily: You don't think we should wait until everybody gets back?

Alan: No, we waited long enough. Get me a letter opener.

Alan: "Lila hoped her plan would bring out the best in her family. And though she loved her son with all her heart, this dollar is all Alan will receive."

Ned: -- Is that it?

Alan: Yeah, you're right. It's got to be some kind of a prank.

Monica: "Alan has been disqualified for conspiring to manipulate the outcome of the contest by tricking other family members into being less than virtuous."

Alice: Dr. Q!

Alan: Wait a minute! Why am I out of it? She conspired with me! You should be out of it, too!

Heather: My room is upstairs.

Edward: May I, again, apologize for the family?

Heather: Apology accepted. Thanks for looking out for me.

Tracy: Gotcha.

Edward: What the -- what the hell are you do--

Tracy: That kiss just wrote you out of mother's will.

Sage: So that's it? You're resigning from our group because you don't want your mother to spend time with my uncle?

Brook Lynn: The only reason why I agreed to do this stupid girl band --

Georgie: Brook, shh --

Brook Lynn: Was so my mom would take her focus off of your uncle and put it on my career.

Sage: Yeah, news flash -- if my uncle decides he's interested in your mother, it's going to take a lot more than your hissy-fit little singing strike to push him away!

Brook Lynn: Do you see? Do you understand why I don't want my mom with her uncle?

Georgie: Brook, yes, I do. But Dillon is down there right now pretending to be a girl so we can be in a contest.

Brook Lynn: So let's go save him.

Sage: Go ahead. Trash our group. But if you do, you won't be able to blackmail your mother anymore, and Lois will be able to date my uncle all she wants.

Brook Lynn: You know what? If your uncle so much -- oh!

Lucas: Not that it's any of my business, but --

Brook Lynn: Stay out of it.

Lucas: Well, my parents are divorced, too. When I was a kid -- well, not that much of a kid. I was 12. And I tried to get them back together. I did my best to run off every guy my mom dated.

Brook Lynn: Is that what you think I'm doing?

Lucas: Yeah, I do. I mean, maybe -- maybe Sage's uncle's a gangster, maybe he's not, but the truth is you'd hate any man your mom dated. Yeah, you want her back with your dad.

Lorenzo: 10:00. I'll have everything arranged by the time you drop the gangplank.

Dillon: [Disguised voice] I'm so sorry I couldn't choose between the desserts.

Simon: Yes, you obviously enjoyed all three of them.

Dillon: Hmm. I think I'm -- ahem -- I think I'm tired, so I'm going to -- I'm going to take a nap -- alone. Alone. So thank you so much for everything. I really --

Simon: You know, you really are a very attractive girl, considering you're a boy.

Dillon: [Normal voice] a what?

Simon: My dear friend, I've known you were a boy all along.

Sam: It's over! All the charges against me are dropped, and I'm free!

Sonny: Ok. I just -- I want to thank you again for what you did, with Sam and all.

Carly: Yeah, I'm glad things all worked out, although I do hope you have a lot of cash on hand, because I think Alexis is going to charge you a fortune for this one.

Sonny: It's all right. She earned it.

Carly: Do you miss Alexis being your lawyer?

Sonny: Not really. I mean, as far as a lawyer, she was pretty high maintenance. And then things got complicated, and I don't want to get into that.

Alexis: You were right. Sonny lied. He bought the inmate's confession, he perjured himself, he manipulated the system, and he manipulated me. It's not the first time, but it's going to be the last.

Ric: What are you saying?

Alexis: I want to help you take Sonny down for good.

>> On the next "General Hospital" --

Dillon: Don't penalize the band for this.

Simon: Oh, no. I love the idea.

Lois: Sounds very interesting. Care to share?

Lucky: Sam has a brother, and Jason's been hiding him.

Carly: You lied.

Jason: Did Sonny tell you why? Why didn't you tell me what you were going to do?

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