General Hospital Transcript Tuesday 12/23/03
Proofread by Brian
Carly: Mmm. Oh, what's cooking? It smells delicious.
Sonny: Well, you're going to find out. Just thank me for not allowing Mike to cook for us.
Carly: Why? Mike's an excellent cook.
Sonny: Compared to who?
Carly: Oh. Sorry.
Sonny: Where's Michael, by the way?
Sonny: Yeah, your son.
Carly: Oh, right. He's on a secret mission.
Sonny: Oh, yeah?
Sonny: What kind of secret mission?
Carly: Well, you'll find out.
["We wish you a merry Christmas" plays]
Michael: Aunt Courtney?
Courtney: Michael? What -- what are you doing here?
Michael: I came to see you.
Courtney: Well, where's your mom and dad?
Michael: At home. Max -- max brought me.
Courtney: To see me?
Michael: Yep. I thought you might get a little lonely without Uncle Jason.
Courtney: Oh well, you're right, but I'll be ok.
Michael: But I know what can make you better.
Courtney: Oh, yeah? What's that?
Michael: Come home for Christmas.
Georgie: I cannot believe I have to do this again.
Bobbie: It's for a good cause.
Georgie: Is it a tradition for the General Hospital elves to look like total dorks?
Bobbie: Oh, trust me Georgie, you shine.
Skye: My keys to this place.
Luke: You're quitting?
Skye: Well, that would be the appropriate response when someone says they want nothing to do with you.
Skye: Oh, but you know what? I have a better idea. You are going to convince me to stay.
[Captioning made possible by ABC, inc., And Johnson & Johnson, where quality health care products have been a tradition for generations]
Luke: If you want to quit, quit.
Skye: Did I say I wanted to?
Luke: Look, Skye, if this is some kind of reverse psychobabble where I start out asking you to stay and then telling you to quit, and then in the end, I'm begging you to stay again -- I mean, please, just save us all the frustration. I don't like those games. They put me in a fouler mood than I'm already in.
Skye: Well, I would shudder to think about that.
Luke: Look, here are your keys. Take them and come back on the 26th of December.
Skye: Look -- look, I don't have a problem with the fact that you're Christmas-phobic, ok? But I have a problem when you take it out on me.
Luke: I'm an insensitive bastard, darling. Didn't you know that?
Skye: Oh, really? Oh, really? Then why -- why did you come find me and apologize for acting like a jerk, huh? Why -- why did you come to the Quartermaines and make that amazing speech about how special I was and they were just idiots for not appreciating me? And then -- and then just whisk me away?
Luke: Maybe I was hoping I'd get lucky.
Skye: Luke, what -- what is it? Is it -- is it your wife's birthday? I know the holidays bring out --
Luke: Oh, Skye, enough already! If you want some poor sucker to bear his soul and share your pain, go someplace else! I'm busy here!
Skye: Yeah. So am I.
Luke: Oh. Get out! You're all fired.
Edward: Your mother is positively salivating about the Quartermaine treasure on that sunken clipper ship.
Ned: And you aren't?
Edward: Well, of course I am, but I'm not the kind of person who would double-cross his own family.
Ned: Heaven forbid.
Edward: No, you see, Ned, we have to out-maneuver Tracy before she does the same to us.
Ned: You know, it's not going to be easy getting that treasure up off the bottom of the harbor.
Edward: I know. That's why we need Tracy’s resources. But once we get the treasure, we're going to cut her out and leave her penniless. Oh, hello Tracy dear. Merry Christmas, huh?
Tracy: Merry Christmas, daddy. Why do I have the distinct impression the two of you are gearing up to stab me in the back?
Georgie: What are you doing here?
Sage: I guess it's some sort of tradition. My uncle volunteered me.
Georgie: Since when do you do what you're told?
Alexis: All right. I have got presents for everyone. Hi! You, too. Um -- Nikolas, I never know what to get you, so when you open yours, just pretend you like it, all right? It's really late. I have to get going.
Nikolas: Why? For what?
Alexis: Well, because Santa’s going to be at the hospital. I want to take Kristina to see him.
Emily: Oh. Have fun.
Nikolas: Well, Emily and I -- we're going to the hospital. Why don't we all just ride together?
Alexis: Well, you know what? I don't -- I don't want to rush you guys.
Nikolas: No, no, you're not, you're not.
Alexis: Come here!
Nikolas: I have to stop off and give Lulu her gift.
Alexis: Nice shoes. I see your shoes. Yes, I do. They're beautiful. You know what? Lulu's going to want to spend some time with you, so I think it's just easier. Why don't we just go separate and we'll see you there, ok?
Emily: Ok. Bye.
Nikolas: Ok, what -- why do I get the feeling there's a plot being hatched behind my back?
[Christmas music plays]
Sonny: Hey. So --
Sonny: Um -- how are you doing?
Carly: I'm good. How are you doing?
Sonny: Are you going to tell me about that secret mission or what are you going to do?
Carly: You really want to know?
Sonny: Well, the suspense is killing me.
Carly: Well --
Carly: It's a surprise, so --
Carly: Yeah. We can't tell you.
Sonny: Are you sure about that?
Sonny: Please. Just tell me about the secret mission.
Carly: You going to torture me or something?
Sonny: If you call this torture. Look --
Sonny: You see that?
Carly: No, what?
Sonny: Right here.
Mike: All right, thanks. No. No, thanks a lot, buddy. I got it. Merry Christmas!
Sonny: This guy --
Carly: Hi, Mike.
Mike: Hi. Hey, look, I know I should have knocked first. But anyway, it's good to see you two together.
Sonny: Yeah --
Sonny: Hey, hey, hey, Mike?
Sonny: Michael's on a top-secret mission.
Mike: Top-secret mission? Do I get to know what the mission is?
Sonny: Well, Carly’s not talking, but I'm -- I'm working on it.
Mike: Oh, well, don't let me interrupt. I got some Christmas cookies and a fruit cake that's actually edible. I will take these to the kitchen, all right?
Sonny: All right, yeah.
Mike: Carry on, carry on.
Sonny: So -- um --
Sonny: Wait, I was going to ask you something.
Carly: What do you need to know?
Sonny: This is serious. So just -- can you just, like, tell me where Michael is?
Carly: Hmm --
Carly: You're going to have to work harder than that.
Carly: Oh, hey!
Sonny: Oh. Hey, hey!
Carly: Sweetie --
Sonny: Tell me about that top-secret mission, will you?
Courtney: I guess that would be me.
Courtney: Hey, Merry Christmas. Hi.
["Ode to joy" plays]
Michael: Really good surprise, huh, daddy?
Sonny: The best. So are you staying for dinner?
Courtney: Yeah, and I brought my overnight bag so I could be here Christmas morning, if that's ok.
Sonny: I was -- I was hoping you'd come, yeah. How did you talk her into this?
Michael: Um -- I asked.
Courtney: Yeah, in a very persuasive way.
Sonny: Wow. Good job, buddy. Listen -- um -- ahem -- Merry Christmas. It's a great gift for me.
Courtney: I'm sorry.
Courtney: I'm sorry.
Carly: It's all right.
Courtney: I don't know where my mind is. God.
Carly: Jason, maybe? Leave it. Leave it. What's up?
Courtney: I was just -- I was thinking about last Christmas Eve. You know, Jason and I were together living in our loft and it was amazing, Carly. I mean -- it was like our own little oasis where we could shut out the rest of the world. You know? And Jason was supposed to spend the night in lockup, and I thought I'd be alone, and -- and he showed up. You know? Before midnight and -- and I have never been so happy to see anyone in my whole life. You know, if someone had told me that a year later, Jason and I would already be married, and -- and separated, I wouldn't have believed them.
Carly: All right. You just tell me something, all right? I mean, can you imagine your life -- loving Jason forever and never, ever being with him again?
Carly: Ok, so what are you waiting for? Work this out.
Courtney: Carly, even if Jason walked through the door right now, it wouldn't change anything.
Carly: Oh, really? Wouldn't it?
[Knock on door]
Carly: Oh, hey.
Max: This was just delivered for Michael.
Carly: Oh, yeah? Who's it from?
Carly: Thanks max.
["O Holy Night" plays]
Nikolas: I know that it's in here somewhere. It's -- ok, it's a box about the size of a blender. Ugh -- I ruined the surprise. It's a blender.
Emily: Oh, great. Just what I've always wanted.
Nikolas: Yeah, well, then you are in for a disappointment, because I -- I don't know. I just can't find it. Oh, well. I hope that'll do.
Emily: Ok. Oh. Oh, Nikolas. It's -- it's beautiful. It's the most beautiful ring I've ever seen.
Nikolas: Nothing else would be good enough for you.
Emily: Oh. It's too extravagant. You shouldn't have bought it.
Nikolas: No, no, no, no. This ring represents everything you mean to me. The trust I have in you, the faith that you've given me for our future. As long as we're together, we -- we can get through anything.
Emily: I'll wear it for the rest of my life.
["O Holy Night" ends]
[Christmas music plays]
Emily: Well, now it's -- it's your turn for your present.
Nikolas: It's the deed to Wyndemere. What -- that's impossible. I -- I sold it. Alexis filed the paperwork yesterday. I pushed the sale through early so I could have the money to buy your ring.
Emily: Well, you should have looked closer at the buyer, but I'm glad you didn’t.
Emily: With a lot of help from Alexis.
Nikolas: But you -- you don't have that kind of money. Unless Lila released some of your trust fund early.
Emily: Merry Christmas.
Nikolas: Merry Christmas.
Carolers: Joy to the world the Lord is come, let earth receive her King
Sage: So no more insults?
Georgie: Are you looking for some?
Sage: You hate my guts, right?
Georgie: I'm over it, just like I'm over Dillon.
Sage: Hmm. So your little friend from the park the other day -- is he your new boyfriend?
Georgie: We just met.
Sage: Hmm. Because he seemed pretty interested. I guess it is the season for miracles.
Tracy: My darling, congratulate me. Our ship is about to come in.
Dillon: What -- what kind of ship?
Tracy: Let's just say it translates into money. A whole lot of it.
Dillon: Is it legal?
Tracy: Naturally. My darling, we are on the brink of a complete financial turnaround and if you play your cards right, you'll get your fair share.
Dillon: Mm-hmm, yeah. It's nice to -- nice to know there's always strings attached.
Tracy: I'm not worried about you in the slightest, because I think your taste in girls has improved dramatically. Sage is so much better suited for you than that dishrag, Georgie.
Dillon: Mom, leave it alone.
Tracy: Sage has class, Dillon. Sophistication.
Georgie: I hate you!
Sage: Get off of me!
Georgie: Look, you asked for it!
Sage: Oh, bring it on, loser!
Luke: Officer Spencer, whatever I'm accused of, I'm guilty. I did it with malice and forethought, with criminal intent. You just come in here and arrest me, take me away. I throw myself on the mercy of the court. Hmm.
Lucky: I brought someone to see you.
Luke: Lulu, hi there.
Lulu: I brought you a present.
Luke: You did? Well -- that makes me feel kind of bad. I didn't -- I didn't get you a present.
Lulu: That's ok. I sent a list to Santa. He knows what I want.
Luke: Oh, good, then you're covered.
Lulu: Open it.
Luke: Ok. Sure. Oh. I remember this. This is you and me ice-fishing. I remember the guy that took that photograph. The one-armed guy that sold us the bait and you caught three fish, and I caught nothing.
Lulu: That was my biggest.
Luke: You're quite a fisherwoman, Lulu. Of course, you were taught by the best.
Lulu: Why don't you take me ice-fishing anymore, daddy?
Luke: Ah, well, I -- I've been really, really busy with this new place.
Lulu: Can you come for dinner tonight? Please?
Luke: I'm sorry, I won't be able to make it. I'm really busy here.
Lesley: Luke, look, your daughter has asked you to come for Christmas Eve. I'm sure you can spare a couple of hours.
Luke: I can't make it, Les. We're opening in two days.
Lulu: Ok, daddy.
Lesley: Well, ok. Come on, sweetie. Then I guess we'd better get out of here, huh? Come on. Here we go. Up. Merry Christmas, Luke.
Luke: You, too.
Lulu: I love you, daddy.
Luke: I love you, too.
Luke: I don't appreciate being ambushed like that, cowboy. You know, me and holidays -- I hate them. Holidays have nothing to do with me. They were always about your mother.
Lucky: No, no --
Luke: You know it.
Lucky: No, you are not using mom as an excuse anymore. You can't hide behind your grief anymore.
Luke: Who's hiding? Are you going to drink that?
Lucky: I don't want your damn drink.
Luke: Life's a bitch, Lucky. You got two choices. A, you lay down and die. B, you keep moving. I tried A. I laid down, I didn't die. I got no choice now but to keep moving.
Lucky: Oh, what, so you'll just keep on moving right past your own family?
Luke: We've been through this.
Lucky: Did you see Lulu's face when you said you couldn't come for Christmas Eve, dad?
Luke: Why the hell did you bring her here?
Lucky: Because --
Luke: I told you I wanted her to stay away from me!
Lucky: She asked to see you. She has every right to. God knows you aren't like every other dad, but you were the best. You taught me how to get by in this world, how to be strong, stand up for what I believe in and I always knew that you loved me. You're still the same man.
Luke: No, I'm not, cowboy. And the sooner you realize that, the sooner you'll stop setting your sister up for disappointments. She's a lot better off without me.
Lucky: Just stay here. Wallow in your own misery. It's a pink bicycle.
Luke: Pink -- pink bicycle? What's that?
Lucky: That's what you got for Lulu, because that's what she asked for. I went out and got it because I knew you didn't care enough to do it yourself. So at least when she says "thank you, daddy," you know what she's talking about.
Luke: Don't lie to her on my account.
Lucky: No, I'm not lying to her. I'm doing it for her, dad. Because I want my little sister to spend one last Christmas believing that her dad gave a damn about her!
Luke: Then you did the right thing. You should feel really good about yourself.
Lucky: Lulu's going to stop caring about you. This could be your last chance of spending some time with your daughter.
Georgie: You rotten, rotten slut!
Audrey: Wait a minute. Just a minute.
Brian: Cool down, ok?
Georgie: You have no idea what she's done to me!
Brian: But it doesn't mean you start a fight, especially at the hospital Christmas party.
Audrey: Well, I -- I'm very sorry to hear that you and Sage dislike each other. If I had known, I would have given one of you the option to be replaced. But, you see, the children from pediatrics are going to be here in a few minutes, and they're looking forward to this party. So you need to put their needs ahead of your own.
Georgie: I'm sorry, Ms. Hardy. I shouldn't let Sage get to me, but she baits me on purpose.
Audrey: Well, next time, perhaps maybe you should just walk away.
Sage: Georgie and I just don't get along. We were snarking at each other and then she just totally lost it!
Dillon: I don't buy that.
Sage: You saw her jump me!
Dillon: Georgie wouldn't do that out of the blue. You must have done something to egg her on.
Sage: Thanks for the vote of confidence.
Monica: Excuse me. Is everything under control here?
Dillon: Yes. We are cool.
Bobbie: Well, that's good, because the children are coming down now.
Sage: Ms. Spencer, Dr. Quartermaine, I'm so sorry about the fight. It won't happen again. I don't want to spoil the day for the kids.
Monica: We don't, either.
Sage: Come on, we got to go.
Alexis: Merry Christmas.
Ned: You, too. Well, hello there. Hello. You've gotten so big, I can't believe it.
Alexis: The pediatrician said she's in the 90th percentile and look at all this hair. Look at that beautiful hair.
Ned: She's beautiful. May I hold her?
Ned: Thank you. Hello, sweetie.
Alexis: Here you go, sweetheart.
Ned: Hello there. Oh, I've missed you. Yes, I have. I've missed you so much. Can I take her over here? I'm going to take her over here.
Alexis: Knock yourself out.
Ned: Ho-ho-ho. Look who I have here.
Alan: Ho-ho-ho. Look who's here. The littlest of the Quartermaines. Hi, sweetie.
Tracy: I cannot imagine why Ned would let a cross-dressing psychopath like you end up with his child.
Alexis: I fought for my child unlike some people I know who just drop theirs off at the relative’s.
Tracy: Whoa. Well, as a matter of fact, the Quartermaines are that child's family, as well, and I think we all know that they -- well, they'd be better family for her than you.
Alexis: All right, I'll tell you what. I'll send you a card on Grandmother's day.
Emily: Hi. Notice anything different about me?
Monica: Emily, it's gorgeous!
Edward: Well, it's a bit flashy, isn't it?
Monica: Don't start, Edward.
Tracy: What are Alan and Monica thinking, letting Emily marry Nikolas? I begged Ned to stay away from you. You Cassadines are all mentally unhinged.
Alexis: People in glass mental institutions shouldn't throw stones.
Tracy: He's just after her for her trust fund.
Alexis: Actually, you know what? I think they happen to love each other.
Tracy: Do you read a lot of women's magazines? You have the lingo down pat.
Boy: Ho-ho! Ho-ho-ho!
Santa: Who wants some presents?
Santa: Have you been good, little girl?
Santa: How have you been?
Monica: Hello, Santa.
Edward: Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
Santa: Oh, don't sit in Santa’s place.
["Deck the Halls" plays]
Santa: Here we go.
Santa: How many children can I hold?
["O Christmas Tree" plays]
Mike: Time to check the meal.
Michael: Hmm! Oh, cool!
Michael: It's a telescope!
Courtney: All right.
Sonny: Wow. Look how beautiful that is.
Courtney: Oh, sweetie, there's a card. Here. You want to read it?
Sonny: It's big, isn't it?
Carly: You going to help put that together, or what? No?
Michael: "To my --"
Michael: "Exploring buddy. The moon and the stars. Uncle Jason."
Sonny: Oh, man.
Carly: That's great.
Michael: Hey, can I call Uncle Jason and tell him thank you for the telescope?
Sonny: Um -- sure you can.
Sonny: Let's see -- you get -- wait till -- there, there, say hi, say hi. Hurry. Hurry, hurry.
Michael: Hi, Uncle Jason. It's me. Thank you for the telescope. It's really good. When are you coming home? Ok. You got to show me how to use it. Yeah, everyone's here. Ok.
Michael: Jason wants to talk to you, dad.
Sonny: Oh. Hey, what's going on? No, we're just here, you know -- Mike's opening up presents. Mike -- the other Mike is trying to cook. Yeah. All right, here's -- here's Carly.
Carly: Ooh --
Sonny: He wants to talk --
Carly: Merry Christmas. Hello. Hey, Jase. How are you doing? Yeah? We wish you were here. You know that present I got you? It is under the tree, and -- yeah, well, it's called being gracious. Good manners, you know? Courtney's here. You want to speak to her? Ok. All right. Merry Christmas, Jason. Bye.
Carly: He didn't think you'd want to talk to him. That's all.
Mike: The Christmas feast is ready.
Carly: Ooh. There you go.
Mike: Hot off the grill.
Carly: Look at that.
Michael: That is big!
Carly: Ah. Honey-glazed ham. I have been waiting for this all day long.
Courtney: It looks really beautiful, Sonny. I'm impressed.
Sonny: Well, you know.
Carly: Yeah, you should wait until you taste his sweet potatoes with marshmallows. It's like you've died and gone to heaven.
Mike: Ok, ok, ok, ok, admit it --
Michael: Daddy made that?
Mike: No one cooks a better holiday meal than you, Sonny.
Mike: Although, my recipe for the cornbread would've been the crowning touch.
Sonny: Of course, yours is the best, right, Mike? Right, right, right.
Carly: Ok, can we stop all the talking and just dig on in?
Sonny: Ok, whoa, whoa -- first, I want -- it'd be nice to say, you know, grace. What about you, buddy? You think maybe you want to do the honors?
Michael: Yeah, ok.
Sonny: Think so? All right.
Michael: God is gracious, God is good. We must thank him for this food. Amen.
Courtney: That's good.
Sonny: Get the --
Michael: And, God, I want to thank you for some other people, too. I want to thank you for my daddy being all right and my mommy being back and my little baby brother. Oh, and one more thing, God -- can you please make my Uncle Jason and Aunt Courtney happy again? Amen.
Sonny: All right.
["The First Noel" plays]
Alan: "In those days, a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that the whole world should be enrolled, each in their own town. And Joseph went up from Galilee to the city of David that is called Bethlehem to be enrolled with Mary, his wife, who was with child. While they were there, the time came for Mary to have her child, and she gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger because there was no room for them in the inn. Now, there were shepherds in that region, living in the fields and keeping the night watch over their flock. The angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were struck with great fear. The angel said to them, 'fear not, for behold, I bring you tidings of great joy that will be for all people. For today in the city of David, a savior has been born, who is Christ the lord.'"
Lucky: Oh, look at that!
Lesley: Oh, yeah, where did she go?
Lucky: You really should --
Lesley: You go around there. I think you went a little --
Lucky: Look at that. Well, enough for me. That's enough for me. Unlike you, somebody has to close their eyes.
Lesley: Ok, ok.
Lucky: Don't peek.
Lesley: Absolutely no peeking or you know what? It has to go away.
Lucky: One, two --
Lesley Lou: Thank you!
Lucky: You're welcome. You're welcome, honey.
[Lucky and Lulu kiss]
Lucky: Love you.
Nikolas: Aren't you going to go inside?
Luke: I can’t.
Nikolas: You can't even wish your own daughter a Merry Christmas, Luke?
Luke: I don't belong here, not that it's any of your business.
Nikolas: Well, Lesley Lou is my sister, so it does make it my business. She doesn't care whether you think you belong or not, Luke. She just wants to see her father, that's all.
Luke: Well, it's better that she doesn’t.
Nikolas: Can't you move past your own selfishness long enough to give your daughter a happy Christmas, Luke?
Luke: You're going to lecture me on selfishness? You and your clan? You want I should list the maniacal egomaniacs that have marched across your family history over the last 50 years? Mikkos, Stavros, Helena, Stefan? And they're all dead, man. All they wanted was power, money, more control -- and they're all dead -- except Helena, who's worse than dead. She's irrelevant. You're the only one left. You're the end of the line. You're the prince. The prince of what? You're bankrupt! The legacy is over, Nikolas.
Nikolas: You think you're better than the Cassadines? Why don't you prove it? Huh? Make a sacrifice. Put your feelings aside and give your daughter a happy Christmas.
Luke: Thank you very much for your analysis of my feelings and my parenting skills. Now you can take your holiday cheer, wrap it up in a nice, little box, put some ribbon on it, and stuff it somewhere warm until the snow melts.
Nikolas: You know what? You're right. You're right. I shouldn't be wasting your time. You can't comprehend the meaning of anything, much less Christmas. Because you're too busy wallowing in your own damn misery. Merry Christmas.
Singer: Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose. Yuletide carols being sung by a choir and folks dressed up like Eskimos. Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe help to make the season bright. Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow will find it hard to sleep tonight. They know that Santa’s on his way; he's loaded lot of toys and goodies on his sleigh and ev'rymother's child is gonna spy to see if reindeer really know how to fly and so I'm offering this simple phrase to kids from 1 to 92. Although it's been said many times, many ways Merry Christmas to you
Cameron: Merry Christmas.
Luke: You look jolly.
Luke: Where'd you park the reindeer?
Cameron: Back at the hospital. Too many kids in the pediatric ward for the holidays. Who said life was fair?
Luke: Not me. So, how are you going to spend the rest of the holiday evening? Go home, cook yourself a meal, and sit in front of some Jingle Bell TV special?
Cameron: No, actually, I'm on my way to the homeless shelter where I volunteer. I spend a few hours serving up turkey and candied yams. You want to go? Spread a little goodwill? Might cheer you up.
Luke: Oh, I'm cheerful enough. Thanks.
Cameron: You're sure?
Cameron: Last chance.
["God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" plays]
Luke: What the hell --
Luke: Oh, now, that's weird.
[The wind blows]
Luke: Who's there?
Stavros: Yes, Luke. It's me.
Luke: What, back from the dead again?
Stavros: Look again, Luke. I'm a ghost, forced to carry these chains I forged in life. You should see the chains they have for you. This is your last chance, Luke.
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