GH Transcript Thursday 11/28/02

 

General Hospital Transcript Thursday 11/28/02

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread by Kathy

>> Previously on "General Hospital" --

Elizabeth: Thank you for telling me about Brenda, but from now on, I don't need to know about your life.

Courtney: You never loved me.

A.J.: I still love you.

Courtney: You liar. You were right. A.J. only married me as a way to get back Michael.

Scott: Sonny and Jason are going down.

Courtney: Did you kill Luis Alcazar tonight?

Scott: That's the question we want to ask.

[D.J. clucks]

D.J.: It's Turkey Day! Rise and shine!

[Clucking]

[Courtney turns off radio]

[Rosie barks]

Courtney: Hmm -- oh, Rosie. No! Oh, great.

[Phone rings]

Courtney: Bad girl. Oh, great.

Courtney's voice: Hi, leave a message. Thanks.

[Answering machine beeps]

Lila: Courtney? Courtney, this is Lila Quartermaine. We would love you to join us for Thanksgiving dinner today.

Courtney: Ow! Oh! God, my ankle!

Lila: Cook has prepared a lovely meal --

Courtney: Ow!

[Courtney seethes]

Lila: And Jason will be there.

Jason: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Are you okay?

Courtney: Yeah.

Jason: How'd you get this far? It's freezing out there. Be careful.

Courtney: I just never stopped believing in you.

Jason: Here. Easy, easy. There you go. Let me see. Does that hurt?

Courtney: Not anymore.

Alan: Get away from her.

Monica: You had your chance to be a doctor.

Courtney: Jason's just trying to help.

Alan: I want you to call x-ray.

Monica: That sprain looks serious.

Alan: This from a heart surgeon.

Bobbie: Don't worry, you'll be fine.

Monica: You've got to ask her to Thanksgiving dinner.

Courtney: Ow!

Alan: I am simply trying to practice medicine. Leave me alone.

Monica: Well, try harder. Are you coming to dinner?

Courtney: I don't know about Thanksgiving. I haven't called Lila back yet. Is Jason going?

Jason: If Courtney will be there, so will I.

A.J.: Count me in, too.

Mike: Hi.

Elizabeth: Hi, Mike. What can I get you?

Mike: Empty the register.

Taggert: Freeze!

Mike: Back off!

Taggert: I'm backing off. Backing off.

Mike: All right, lose the gun. Lose it.

Taggert: Losing the gun. Losing the gun. All right, everybody, let's clear the restaurant. Give Mr. Corbin some room. That's it, nice and easy.

Elizabeth: Well -- don't leave me. Don't leave me!

Taggert: We got a hostage situation in there.

Courtney: Daddy? Daddy, it's all right!

Taggert: You can't go in there.

Courtney: Just let me talk him down! I know I can!

Taggert: You can’t. It's too dangerous.

Courtney: Please, just give me the chance!

Officer: He's coming out!

Courtney: Daddy, don't do this. Listen to me. Whatever it is, I can fix it.

Mike: We're out of here.

Taggert: That's it.

Courtney: No!

Taggert: You're done, Corbin.

Courtney: Please don't hurt my dad!

Felicia: Nothing ever happens on Thanksgiving.

Mike: It's a setup. Let me go. I didn't do anything!

Taggert: We got a live one here, Sir.

Courtney: Please, don't hurt my dad. Please, he didn't mean it.

Scott: Well, what do we got here?

Courtney: He didn't hurt anybody.

Taggert: Attempted robbery, special circumstances -- he took a hostage.

Scott: Ooh, that sounds like 30 to life.

Courtney: Please, Mr. Baldwin, my dad owes money. He doesn't think straight. No one got hurt.

Scott: Well, you know, if I can't send Sonny to Sing Sing, I might as well send his old man.

Courtney: But that isn't fair!

Scott: I'll decide what's fair around here, missy.

Courtney: He has had a hard life. He drinks and he gambles, and he gets all mixed up, but he doesn't mean any harm. Please don't hurt him.

Scott: You're wasting your time.

Courtney: Please, if you could just show a little mercy, just a teeny, tiny little bit of mercy.

Scott: Lock him up, throw away the key.

Mike: No! No! No! No! No! No!

Taggert: Whoo-hoo-hoo.

Alan: Ah, finally a Thanksgiving where we have turkey.

Edward: Well, we haven't seen it yet, though.

Alan: Come on, Father, the smell just fills the entire house.

Monica: This is going to be the year, I can feel it.

Lila: Reginald?

Reginald: Mm-hmm.

All: Oh, no!

Alan: How did that happen?

Monica: I could almost taste it.

Reginald: Yeah, well, the turkey was ready to come out of the oven when Mike Corbin was arrested.

Edward: What the hell does Mike Corbin have to do with anything?

Reginald: Well, he and Cook play cards together.

Edward: Oh.

Reginald: Anyway, she got so wrapped up in watching the news reports --

Monica: That she burned the turkey?

Reginald: Yeah, more like ossified -- petrified.

Edward: Oh, for Pete’s sake, what's wrong with a little dry turkey, huh?

Reginald: She ruined her favorite chef's knife --

Edward: Oh.

Reginald: Trying to cut it.

Edward: Oh.

Monica: I know better than to get my hopes up.

Alan: So here we are. We are going to have pizza again on Thanksgiving because of Mike Corbin, some useless, gambling drunk that we barely even know?

Lila: Courtney, dear. How lovely to see you.

Courtney: Hi.

Alan: Hi. Courtney, I'm so sorry.

Edward: Would you have a slice of pizza, dear?

Courtney: Daddy needs bail. It's going to be a lot.

Alan: Why didn't Cook make a backup turkey?

Monica: I never thought of that.

Courtney: I only have $117.

Jason: I'll take care of Mike's bail.

Edward: You know, a backup turkey wouldn't be a bad idea.

Courtney: Thank you, Jason.

Alan: I know. It doesn't even have to be a turkey. It could be a chicken.

Courtney: Are they always like this?

Jason: Come with me.

Alan: A four-pound chicken.

Edward: A really big chicken.

Alan: I'm telling you, we could have at least had a wing.

Reginald: How about some pizza?

Alan: Maybe -- are you going to have some pizza?

Jason: There's something I've wanted to do for a long time.

[Courtney screams]

[D.J. clucks]

D.J.: It's Turkey Day! Rise and shine!

[Clucking]

[Courtney turns off radio]

[Courtney sighs]

[Phone rings]

[Rosie barks]

Courtney's voice: Hi, leave a message. Thanks.

[Answering machine beeps]

Courtney: Ah! Oh --

Lila: Courtney, it's Lila Quartermaine. We would love you to join us for Thanksgiving dinner today.

Courtney: Rosie, no.

Lila: Cook has prepared a lovely meal, and Jason will be there.

[Answering machine clicks]

Jason: You all right? How'd you get this far on your own? It's freezing out there. Come here.

Courtney: This -- this is really weird.

Jason: What?

Courtney: It's like the day rewound itself and it started over again.

Alan: Hey, are you all right?

Monica: Does she look all right?

Bobbie: Don't worry. You'll be fine.

Courtney: Except this time it's my arm and not my ankle. And Lila left a message -- wait, did Lila leave a message?

Alan: Yeah, she did. She invited you to Thanksgiving dinner.

Monica: Are you coming or not?

Courtney: Is Jason going? One second.

A.J.: Maybe I'll see you later.

Jason: Yeah, if Courtney will be there, so will I.

Courtney: Okay, Daddy. Anytime now.

A.J.: Waiting for someone?

Courtney: A.J.?

A.J.: Hi. Yeah, I have this great Thanksgiving dinner here.

Courtney: You can't be here.

A.J.: Why not? I have this great turkey and I thought we could find a nice, warm, quiet place, just you and me.

Courtney: Okay, there is no possible way I am ever eating turkey with you again. And anyway, I have plans.

A.J.: With Jason. Oh. Why am I not surprised? What was he doing at the hospital anyway? Oh, let me guess -- you hurt your arm and he had to help you.

Courtney: Just get out of my way. Daddy, don't do this. Just listen to me. Whatever it is, I can fix it.

Mike: Fix what? I mean, everything's terrific, better than ever.

Courtney: I know what you're going to do, so just give me the gun. Listen, if it's gambling debts, I can help you. So will the Quartermaines.

Mike: I don't want charity.

Courtney: Okay, then, we'll figure something else out. Just give me the gun now!

[Courtney sighs]

Courtney: Thank you.

Taggert: Gun! Everybody clear the restaurant.

[Elizabeth screams]

Courtney: Whoa, whoa, no, no, you don't understand.

Taggert: Give me the gun, Courtney. Give me the gun.

Courtney: You -- okay.

Taggert: You're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to have an attorney present.

Courtney: Ow!

Taggert: If you can't afford one, one will be given to you.

Courtney: Okay!

Taggert: Let's go.

A.J.: Jason would be so proud of you.

[Courtney growls]

Taggert: This way.

Felicia: Oh, God. Nothing ever happens on Thanksgiving.

Courtney: It's a setup. Let me go.

Taggert: We got a live one here, Sir.

Courtney: I didn't do anything!

Mike: Look, please, please, please don't hurt my little girl. She didn't mean it.

Scott: What have we got here?

Mike: Look, she -- she didn't hurt anybody.

Taggert: Attempted robbery, Sir.

Scott: Ooh-hoo-hoo. That sounds like 30 to life.

Mike: No, no, please, Mr. Baldwin, she doesn't think straight. Nobody got hurt!

Scott: You know, if I can't send Sonny to Sing Sing, I can send his sister to Sing Sing.

Mike: That isn't fair.

Scott: I'll decide what's fair around here, fellow.

Mike: Look, my daughter has a hard life. She married the wrong man, but she doesn't mean any harm.

Scott: You're wasting your time.

Mike: Well, just show a little mercy, just a teeny, tiny little bit of mercy.

Scott: Maybe we can make a deal. Come here.

Mike: Listen to him, sweetie!

Scott: Um, you know, I'm getting a little tired of eating Thanksgiving dinner by myself. Now, you're going to the Quartermaine's. Take me with you and I'll get you off.

Alan: Aha! Finally, a Thanksgiving where we have turkey.

Edward: Well, we haven't seen it yet, though.

Alan: Come on, Father. The smell just fills the entire house.

Monica: This is going to be the year. I can feel it.

Lila: Reginald?

Reginald: Mm-hmm.

All: Oh! No!

Alan: How did that happen?

Monica: I could almost taste it.

Reginald: Yeah, well, the turkey was ready to come out of the oven, then A.J. came in and grabbed Cook and shoved her in the pantry and stole the turkey and ran out. It was ugly.

Monica: That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

Alan: You're blaming A.J. for this?

Edward: You see what you get for coddling that boy?

Lila: Courtney, dear. How lovely to see you. And Mr. Baldwin.

Monica: Who invited you?

Edward: And why aren't you out tracking down our turkey?

Monica: If you're here to arrest Jason --

Jason: No, no. It's all right, Mother.

Lila: Jason, dear, I'm so glad you could join us.

Jason: Happy Thanksgiving, Grandmother.

Lila: Thank you, dear.

Scott: What do you say we call a Thanksgiving truce?

Alan: A truce?

Scott: Yes.

Alan: What's that supposed to mean?

Edward: I think we could work out something. Would you have a slice of pizza?

Jason: Why are you with Scott?

Courtney: I can explain.

Jason: Did you cut a deal?

Courtney: In a way, but it's not like that.

Jason: I don't want to hear it.

Alan: What about food? What about --

Edward: Go on. This pizza might be --

Lila: Never lose hope, dear.

Courtney: I'm trying.

Edward: I'm trying to keep this family out of prison.

Courtney: Jason?

[Courtney screams]

[D.J. clucks]

D.J.: It's Turkey Day! Rise and shine!

[Clucking]

Courtney: Oh --

[Courtney turns off radio]

Courtney: Oh, no! Not again.

[Rosie barks]

[Phone rings]

Courtney's voice: Hi, leave a message. Thanks.

[Answering machine beeps]

Courtney: Ah!

Lila: Courtney? Courtney, this is Lila Quartermaine. We would love you to join us for Thanksgiving dinner today. Cook has prepared a lovely meal, and Jason will be there.

[Answering machine clicks]

Monica: We need to operate.

Alan: If you're not doing anything for Thanksgiving, we'd like to invite you for dinner.

Courtney: What?

Monica: We need to operate.

Alan: If you're not doing anything for Thanksgiving, we'd like to invite you for dinner.

Monica: What did you think we said?

Courtney: You're going to operate on me?

Alan: Well, actually, we're just here to assist.

Monica: A prominent brain surgeon is going to do the operation.

[Fanfare]

Jason: I agreed to become a doctor again so I can save you.

Courtney: Oh, Jason.

Alan: He's never operated on anybody in his life.

Monica: But we have such high hopes for him.

Courtney: Daddy, wait!

Mike: What happened to you?

Courtney: I just had brain surgery and escaped from the hospital. Look, you have a gun in your pocket. Take it out and give it to Taggert, who is sitting in that chair with his back to us.

Mike: What?

Courtney: I just had brain surgery and escaped from the hospital.

Mike: Well, honey, you should be home in bed.

Courtney: Whatever it is, I can fix it!

Mike: Fix what? Everything's terrific, never been better.

Courtney: Just give me the gun now! Okay.

Courtney: No! A.J., don't!

A.J.: Let me move back in, I'll let your daddy go.

Courtney: A.J., don't do this!

A.J.: I love you! I miss you. You've made me a desperate man, Courtney.

Taggert: Freeze! Everybody clear the restaurant!

[Elizabeth screams]

A.J.: Ah! Hey!

Taggert: It's over.

Courtney: Ah, thank you.

Taggert: You're under arrest.

A.J.: Ah!

Mike: You saved my life, sweetie.

Taggert: We're going to need your statement down at the station, Mrs. Quartermaine.

Courtney: I'll help you any way I can.

A.J.: Jason put you up to this.

Taggert: Let's go.

Felicia: Oh, gosh. Nothing ever happens on Thanksgiving.

Courtney: A.J. never loved me, not for one second.

A.J.: That's a lie!

Taggert: Be quiet.

Courtney: He is so jealous of his brother, he can't see straight. And get this -- he doesn't want me to file for divorce even after all the bad things that he's done to me.

A.J.: We can work it out!

Scott: Enough, enough. Get him out of here.

A.J.: What?

Taggert: What's the charge?

Scott: Crimes against Courtney.

Taggert: Works for me.

A.J.: Well, wait, whoa. Hey, wait a minute!

Courtney: Thank you, Mr. Baldwin. That gives me just enough time to get to the Quartermaines' and Jason -- Dr. Jason Quartermaine.

Jason: What a better way to relax than a little polo after surgery.

Edward: Yes, polo is a fine sport. It's a gentleman's sport.

Jason: Yes. I'll admit it was a little chilly. The footing was fine; all the horses were in top form.

Edward: Good.

Jason: A little forward, perhaps.

Monica: I want you to be careful now.

Jason: Oh, Mother. I'm always careful. I would never do anything to damage these hands because nothing means more to me than medicine and my family.

Alan: We're so proud of you, son.

Lila: Indeed, we are.

Reginald: There we go. I just saw the turkey. It is gorgeous.

Edward: Get on with it.

Alan: Ah --

Reginald: There you go.

All: Oh!

Monica: It's stunning.

Edward: Mmm. What's happening?

Alan: Who let the dog out?

Courtney: Rosie, no! No, Rosie!

Alan: I can't believe it.

Edward: Whose dog is that?

Alan: This is outrageous.

Courtney: Rosie? Rosie?

Jason: Hey, don't worry. Rosie won't go far.

Courtney: Well, what about the turkey?

Jason: We'll order pizza, after I see my handiwork. All right. Oh, yeah. This is good.

Courtney: I'm healed.

Jason: You're beautiful.

Courtney: Thanks to you.

[Rosie barks]

[Music plays]

D.J.: It's Turkey Day! Rise and shine!

[D.J. clucks]

Courtney: No! Ugh!

[Boink]

Mike: Ow! Oh! Oh!

Courtney: Oh, no! Daddy, I'm coming!

[Phone rings]

Courtney's voice: Hi, leave a message. Thanks.

[Answering machine beeps]

Lila: Courtney? Courtney, it's Lila Quartermaine. We would love you to join us for Thanksgiving dinner today. Cook has prepared a lovely meal. And Jason will be there.

Mike: Where am I?

Courtney: It's okay, Daddy. Come on.

Mike: This -- this headache came out -- out of nowhere. Who are you?

Courtney: I need a doctor, fast!

Mike: Hey! What does a guy got to do to get a drink around here?

Courtney: He might need brain surgery!

Alan: Hey, what happened?

Monica: How many fingers do you see?

Mike: Bourbon, straight up. Make it a double.

Courtney: Where's the doctor who operated on me?

Jason: How did you ever get this far on your own?

Courtney: I just -- I never stopped believing -- that you could help my dad.

Mike: Hey, this headache came out of the clear, blue sky, Doc!

Courtney: Can you operate?

Jason: I'm -- I'm not a doctor.

Courtney: Yes, you are! You saved my life.

Alan: He's not! He's a professional criminal!

Courtney: He's a doctor! You had such high hopes for Jason. Don't you remember?

Monica: Oh, thank you for reminding me!

Courtney: Oh, but -- no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Jason: What the -- Courtney, you seem -- you seem a little confused today.

Courtney: You can't even imagine.

Jason: I got invited to the Quartermaines' for dinner.

Courtney: So -- so did I. Wait. I haven't checked my messages yet, but -- but I'll be there.

Jason: If you'll be there, so will I.

Bobbie: Wait! Somebody, Mike just ran off! He escaped!

Jason: Where would he go?

Courtney: Kelly’s.

Elizabeth: Hey, Mike. Are you okay?

Mike: I really need some money.

Courtney: Everybody, out! He's got a gun!

[Elizabeth screams]

Jason: Mike, let go. You don't need this.

Taggert: Freeze!

Mike: You know, this -- this headache came out of nowhere, and now I can't breathe.

Taggert: Give me the gun, anger boy.

Courtney: Oh, you don't understand.

Jason: No, no, no. No, it's all right.

Mike: Oh. That's amazing. I mean -- I mean, I can breathe again just -- just great. Thanks. Thanks, Doc. Ah.

Taggert: You're under arrest for whatever I can think of. You have the right to remain silent, which really gets on my nerves.

Courtney: Ooh, Jason was just trying to help.

Taggert: Tell it to the new D.A.

Jason: What -- Baldwin’s not the D.A. anymore?

Courtney: Jason, look.

Taggert: Let's go.

Felicia: Nothing ever happens on Thanksgiving.

Taggert: We got us a live one here.

Courtney: Jason didn't do anything.

A.J.: Well. You lock him up and throw away the key.

Courtney: What are the charges?

A.J.: Who cares? He's going to fry for this one.

Courtney: But that's not fair.

A.J.: Hey, I get to decide what's fair around here, toots.

Courtney: Jason was just trying to help.

A.J.: "Jason was just trying to help."

Courtney: If you could just show a little mercy, please. Just a teeny, tiny little bit of mercy.

Taggert: Hey.

A.J.: Hey, hey, hey!

Courtney: All right, hold it right there, pal!

A.J.: Hey, do something, Taggert!

[Taggert screams]

A.J.: You're such a wimp!

[A.J. screams]

Courtney: All right, anybody else want any pepper spray? Ha-ha! I didn't think so! We're out of here!

Reginald: Hey.

All: Oh!

Courtney: Nobody move! I'm on the run! The city is crawling with cops. I lost Jason outside the police station after the jailbreak.

Edward: For God's sakes, stop being so dramatic and let's eat! Come on!

Jason: Courtney? Okay. We can hit the Canadian border by midnight if we leave right now.

Courtney: I'll go anywhere with you.

Monica: Wait. Take the turkey.

Alan: No! Don't give them the turkey!

Edward: I will not have my Thanksgiving dinner given to a gangster and his moll, no!

Monica: And I will not have my son go hungry on the highway. Here, take this turkey. Run for your lives!

[Siren]

A.J.: All right, all right, hold it right there. You're under arrest.

Courtney: Wait, you're the swat team?

A.J.: It's a holiday. We're all pitching in.

Taggert: Don't even think of trying to run.

A.J.: Baldwin? The turkey.

Scott: Roger that.

A.J.: All right. Take them in.

Taggert: Move, move, move! Move, move, move, move!

Monica: Jason, be careful!

Edward: Hey, what about my turkey?

Alan: Wait, you can't take our turkey!

A.J.: Booking it as evidence.

[D.J. clucks]

D.J.: It's Turkey Day! Rise and shine!

[Clucking]

[Courtney turns off radio]

[Courtney sighs]

Courtney: I am not leaving this bed!

[D.J. clucks]

D.J.: Hey, all you turkeys out there, it's your big day. So get out of bed, will you? Why do they call it Turkey Day? Gee, I wonder. Maybe because you're all a bunch of turkeys. Could that be it?

[D.J. clucks]

[Courtney turns off radio]

[Courtney sighs]

Courtney: Huh. No message from Lila. That's a good sign.

Courtney: Oh. Rosie. You're such a good dog. Yes, you are. Hi. Hi. Maybe I am back to reality.

Jason: What are you doing here?

Courtney: I had this really weird dream, but -- I -- never mind.

A.J.: Hey. I see we're all enjoying the holidays.

Courtney: Can we just let things go for one day, please?

A.J.: Sure, Courtney. Whatever makes you happy. And I think we all know what that is. You two have fun.

Alan: Hey, Courtney. Just wanted to make sure you knew you were invited to Thanksgiving dinner.

Monica: Yes, we are determined to have a real turkey this year.

Alan: And nothing's going to stop us.

Monica: Jason, would you consider joining us for dinner?

Jason: Yeah, sure, if Courtney's going.

Elizabeth: Hey. I thought you had the day off.

Courtney: I just wanted to stop by.

Elizabeth: Oh, well, it's real exciting in here. Did you see Mike?

Courtney: Is he okay?

Elizabeth: Yeah, he's right over there.

Courtney: How are you doing?

Mike: Hey. Hi, sweetie.

Courtney: Hi.

Mike: I hit Providential in the third and he paid off big. Let me buy you lunch. Are you okay?

Courtney: Yeah -- I -- I think so.

Mike: Yeah, well, you seem a little tense.

Courtney: No, it's nothing.

Felicia: That's right. Nothing ever happens on Thanksgiving.

Courtney: Oh. Here we go again.

Taggert: You have any apple turnovers left?

Elizabeth: Sure.

Taggert: We'll take two cups of coffee with that.

Elizabeth: You got it.

Mike: Honey, has Taggert been giving you trouble?

Courtney: No, no, nothing like that.

Mike: All right. Then let me get you some lunch.

Courtney: Thanks, but I -- I have one more stop to make.

Scott: Looking for Sonny?

Courtney: Not really.

Scott: Well, I haven't arrested him in a while. Of course, the night is young.

Courtney: So where's your bib?

Scott: My bib?

Courtney: Your bib? The one that Kelly’s gives out with Thanksgiving dinner? You know, with the turkey on it?

Scott: Why would I be wearing a bib with a turkey on it?

Courtney: You mean, you're not eating takeout Thanksgiving dinner here?

Scott: Why would I do that?

Edward: On this wonderful Thanksgiving, I would like to honor my wife and thank her for all of the years of happiness that she's brought to me and the rest of our family. And I would also like to honor love, which binds us together and gives us the strength to go on. So here is to Lila --

[Glasses clink]

Alan: Yeah.

Edward: And to love.

Lila: Love.

Alan and Monica: To love.

Alan: Absolutely.

Lila: Reginald?

Reginald: Yes, the moment we've all been waiting for. Hey!

Alan: Oh!

Monica: It's wonderful!

Reginald: Like to do the honors?

Edward: Oh, I'd be glad to. Thank you, Reginald.

[Edward sharpens knife]

Jason: This might take a minute. We could step outside, get some fresh air.

Courtney: I'd like that. If you'd excuse us for a moment.

Edward: What -- all right, here we go.

Monica: Oh, it's been so long since we've had a real turkey.

Edward: Who wants this wonderful leg?

Alan: No, I'm going to have some breast. How about you?

Jason: It's better out here.

Courtney: It's such a beautiful night. I feel like I'm dreaming.

Jason: You know what?

Courtney: What?

Jason: You are dreaming.

[Courtney screams]

[Country music plays]

[D.J. Clucks]

[Courtney screams]

 [Courtney screams]

[Country music plays]

[D.J. Clucks]

Courtney and D.J.: It's Turkey Day! Rise and shine!

[Courtney turns off radio]

Courtney: Fine! If you can't beat them, join them. Okay, Rosie, bring it on. Oh! Oh, it's freezing! Thank God for speed dial.

[Phone rings]

Lila: Hello?

Courtney: Mrs. Quartermaine?

Lila: Courtney, dear. I was just about to call you.

Courtney: I know, and I would be glad to join you for Thanksgiving dinner.

Courtney:  Get me a doctor now!

Bobbie: Courtney?

Alan: What's wrong?

Monica: Are you hurt?

Courtney: Not at the moment, but I am planning to twist my ankle, break my arm, need brain surgery, or hit someone on the head very soon. So admit me now. Call it preventive medicine.

Alan: I'm afraid we can't do that.

Courtney: Why not?

Alan: Well, for one thing, there's the insurance.

Monica: And there has to be an accident first.

Courtney: Not in my world.

Bobbie: Oh, don't worry. You'll be fine.

Monica: Mm-hmm.

Courtney: You don't want to admit me? Fine, don't admit me.

Alan: What are you doing?

Courtney: Ugh! Any minute, Jason is going to walk in from over there. And then A.J. is going to walk in from over there. You and Monica -- well, you're going to invite Jason to dinner. A.J. will hear and he'll come, as well. Or A.J. won't hear and he won't come. Either way, both your sons are going to be here in five, four, three, two, one.

Courtney: You're late.

Jason: Late for what?

Courtney: Your father will explain. I have to run to Kelly’s! And get arrested!

Courtney: Hey! Well, what are you waiting for? Let's knock this joint over.

Mike: Courtney?

Courtney: Hurry up!

Mike: Well -- honey, let my buy you some lunch.

Courtney: Better idea -- why don't you give me the gun.

Mike: Have you lost your mind?

Courtney: Suit yourself. Hello. All right, everybody, this is a stickup!

[Elizabeth screams]

Taggert: What are you doing?

Courtney: I have the right to remain silent. Anything I say can and will be used against me in a court of law and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Mike: Courtney, did you skip breakfast again?

Taggert: You're under arrest.

Courtney: What else is new? Hey! One turkey dinner to go and make it fast!

Scott: What do we got, Taggert?

Taggert: Stealing a police officer's weapon, reckless endangerment, assault, robbery, you name it.

Scott: Robbery?

Taggert: Yeah, she stole Thanksgiving dinner.

Courtney: Hey, I couldn't pay for it. You wouldn't take off the cuffs. Here, dinner's for you, including the bib.

Scott: What is going on here?

Courtney: This is all a dream, so you can just book me with whatever you want.

Scott: Get those cuffs off her.

Taggert: No, hey, no, no. I wouldn't do that --

Courtney: Thank you, Mr. Baldwin.

Scott: Lock her up, will you? I'm busy.

Officer: Ooh!

Taggert: Oh!

Courtney: I'll see you at the Quartermaines'.

All: We gather together to ask the Lord's blessing

Courtney: Sorry to barge in, folks, but I really need to get this done before the dog runs in or the substitute swat team surrounds the place or Jason shows up just back from the polo field or ready to break for the border.

Alan: She's been under a lot of stress.

Courtney: Excuse me. Excuse me, excuse me.

Monica: Oh -- wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait!

Courtney: Calm down, Monica, you were never going to eat it anyway.

Edward: Well, she's right, you know. Reginald has pizza in the warming oven, so let's just continue with our song.

All: We gather together to ask the Lord's blessing

Courtney: Okay, let's do it.

[D.J. clucks]

[Country music plays]

D.J.: It's Turkey Day! Rise --

[Jason turns off radio]

[Turkey clucks]

>> On the next "General Hospital" --

Summer: 2,000 is more than enough for a date.

Luke: Then let's go.

Courtney: I'm the reason that you got arrested.

Man: I'm here to see Mr. Corinthos.

Carly: Is he expecting u?

Alexis: You stay away from my daughter! Do you hear me? You stay away from her!

Scott: Admit that you killed Alcazar.

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