GH Transcript Monday 10/28/02

 

General Hospital Transcript Monday 10/28/02

Provided by Suzanne
Proofread by Kathy

>> Previously on "General Hospital" --

Courtney: I love A.J.

Jason: It won't happen again.

Elizabeth: I think you have something I want.

Alexis: Will you marry me?

Brenda: I just got such a gross idea. You're going to hate this. Did you tell them? We got married.

Elizabeth: I've heard about you.

Man: Yeah?

Elizabeth: They say you know how to give a woman what she wants.

Man: You looking for some fun, sugar?

Elizabeth: Maybe, once I've taken care of a little business.

Man: Oh, what kind of business?

Elizabeth: I want to even the score with my ex. He treated me like dirt and then took off with a bottle of whiskey and every last dime I ever earned. Someone said you might know where to find him. Tall guy named Luke with a face that's been to hell and back? Ring any bells?

Man: Yeah, I hear bells. My bogus detector is ringing off the hook.

Elizabeth: Yeah, well, that's Luke -- bogus to the bone.

Man: You and this babe are running some kind of scam.

Courtney: Bobbie, sorry I'm late.

Bobbie: Oh, it's okay. Courtney, slow down. It's all right. You don't have to do everything at once. Sorry.

Courtney: You know, I can work late if you need me.

Bobbie: No, it's fine. Courtney, did that stalker come after you again?

Courtney: I filed a police report, so I'm sure it'll be over soon.

Bobbie: Well, what happened? Because something obviously happened. You're shaken up.

Courtney: Last night just scared me.

Bobbie: How?

Courtney: You know, I'd rather not get into it, no offense.

Bobbie: Oh, go ahead, none taken.

[Crash]

Courtney: Damn it!

Bobbie: Oh, honey.

Courtney: Bobbie, I'm so sorry.

Bobbie: It's all right. Listen, the police will catch this guy and everything will get back to normal.

Courtney: I hope so.

Bobbie: It's all right.

Courtney: It's just so hard to deal with something so unexpected.

Ned: Proposals of marriage generally come with declarations of love.

Alexis: That's a logical assumption.

Ned: So I'm asking, have you fallen in love with me again?

Alexis: It's not quite that simple.

Ned: Yeah, well, I'll take that as a no, which is also my response to your proposal.

Monica: I got your message that -- what are you doing?

Jax: I need you to sign my release form.

Monica: No, I'm not going to do any such thing. Jax, you're not going anywhere. You're just starting to heal. You're not going to compromise all the work you've done.

Jax: I have to go.

Monica: No, no, you don't.

Jax: Yes, I do.

Monica: Listen, Alan said that Skye has gone on a little trip. Now, maybe that's the -- time away is the best thing for her.

Jax: I'm not talking about Skye. Brenda's missing and she's ill. I mean, she could be wandering the streets confused, lost, or worse. I have to find her.

Carly: You're married. Well, what an incredible idea. Well, this solves everything. Doesn't it, Sonny?

Sonny: Congratulations.

Carly: Yeah. Congrats.

Sonny: Why don't you guys sit down, make yourself comfortable, and I'll open a bottle of champagne.

Carly: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know what? Come on in. So who else have you told?

Jason: Just you and Sonny. I didn't want you to hear it from anyone else.

Carly: Yeah, that's probably a really good idea. Hey, you know what you could do, though? You could order wedding announcements, and then that way you wouldn't have to call everyone and tell them the happy news personally.

Sonny: Carly?

Carly: Yeah? Oh, right, it's not my problem.

Sonny: Okay, you know what? I'm going to make a toast here. Yeah, okay. Here you go.

Carly: Thank you.

Sonny: To -- oh -- love, loyalty, and friendship.

Carly: I have an idea.

Jason: Carly, you've had enough ideas for one night.

Carly: No, seriously, this is good. I'll throw you guys a wedding reception. We can do it here. We can do it at the Port Charles Grill. You know, just a little cocktail thing. Or we can do dinner and dancing. What do you say? A sit-down with place cards or --

Brenda: I have to go.

Carly: What about a wedding cake? No?

Jason: Do you need -- do you need money?

Brenda: No, I don't. Oh, I'll call you later. Carly, thank you for the party offer.

Carly: Oh, sure. Anytime. Okay, spill. You loathe that woman.

Jason: Carly --

Carly: What?

Jason: I just need to speak to Sonny alone.

Carly: All right, that's fine. But you know what? I want all the details later.

Sonny: Carly, Carly, Carly --

Carly: Okay, I'm going, I'm leaving, I'm going.

Jason: Look, I know this seems crazy.

Sonny: I get that you did this for me, and I'm grateful. Why in the hell would you do this to yourself?

Bobbie: Being stalked is a deeply traumatic experience.

Courtney: It's just thrown me totally off balance, and I'm doing things that I would never do.

Bobbie: Well, your life has been turned upside down. And I'm sure it's very hard to get your sense of trust and security back. I'll tell you what -- I can make a few phone calls and I can find you a support group.

Courtney: There is no support group for this.

Bobbie: Courtney, what's really bothering you?

Courtney: I just -- I don't know how I got here. I mean, if someone had told me a year ago that I would be working at a strip club, I --

Bobbie: Hey, come on. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Courtney: I can't help it.

Bobbie: You know, honey, sometimes people find themselves in situations that they hate, and that doesn't mean that they belong there. Now, you went to work in that club because you were trying to do something good for your husband. You were trying to be a good wife.

Courtney: A good wife doesn't kiss another man.

Alexis: You can't just say no to my proposal.

Ned: Why not?

Alexis: Because, we haven't discussed it yet.

Ned: Well, call me a fool, call me a hopeless romantic, or maybe, just maybe I've finally learned from experience, but I refuse to marry another woman unless she loves me, which leaves you out.

Alexis: I'm serious about this.

Ned: I'm sure you are.

Alexis: I won't run. I promise.

Ned: I'm actually more concerned about getting married only to have it fall apart.

Alexis: I have every intention of honoring the commitment.

Ned: Your intention is to get elected, okay?

Alexis: What?

Ned: You're a very competitive person, Alexis. And you know what? So am I. Remember fighting for Chloe's design company, what you and I did to win?

Alexis: We entered into a couple phony marriages.

Ned: Exactly, and we wasted months of our lives keeping up the charade.

Alexis: But we were vying to keep a company.

Ned: Right, and now we're vying to win an election.

Alexis: This isn't only about the election!

Ned: Oh, true, that's right, yeah, yeah. You and I will be raising a daughter together, and I fully intend to honor that commitment, but I will not be entering another sham marriage just so you can sway the family-values vote, all right?

Alexis: Neither will I! I didn't propose to you to win votes!

Gia: Hey. Hello? Don't I know you?

Nikolas: I'm sorry.

Gia: It's Nikolas, right? I'm mean, aren't we engaged or something, or did I just imagine that whole thing?

Nikolas: Hi, Sparky --

Gia: Hi.

Nikolas: Love of my life.

Gia: Yeah, that's better.

Nikolas: What can I do for you?

Gia: Well, you can tell me why you're so upset. Don't bother smiling because I'm not buying it.

Nikolas: Okay. I just completed my new least-favorite activity in the world -- a phone call with my mother's doctors in London.

Gia: Is Laura worse?

Nikolas: She's still catatonic, completely unresponsive. No improvement at all. The doctors want to try drug therapy. They spent a half an hour on the phone trying to convince me to authorize it.

Gia: You turned them down?

Nikolas: Lucky's convinced she's going to come out of it on her own.

Gia: And what do you think?

Nikolas: He's lying to himself.

Lucky: Yeah. Yeah. You know what? There is a scam. There's a scam being run on my family!

Man: How's that?

Lucky: Well, see, this guy, Luke, he's my old man, and this is his soon-to-be-ex-wife. We're looking to settle the score.

Elizabeth: No, wait -- wait a minute. Are you trying to make this guy believe that we're buddies or something? What do you think, he's stupid? You don't give a hoot what happens to dear old stepmom.

Lucky: Oh. She conned my dad into marrying him.

Elizabeth: He begged me. Luke couldn't get enough of it.

Lucky: Oh, no, no, no. You made him miserable. She cheated on him, she robbed him blind, she took the dog! It's no wonder that he finally ran off!

Elizabeth: I treated Luke like a king. I was faithful to Luke.

Lucky: Would you get a load of this, because she's a piece of work, isn't she?

Elizabeth: No, you know what? You poisoned him. You poisoned him against me, and you twisted him around until he wrote me out of his will.

Man: Hey, hey. Am I supposed to buying this sideshow, or are you all just getting your kicks here?

Lucky: Right here, black and white. Everything goes to the kids, little wifey gets jack.

Elizabeth: Luke will change his mind.

Lucky: Oh, for somebody trashy like you? Dream on.

Elizabeth: Oh, honey, I'm the classiest chick your dad ever met.

Lucky: Oh, "class." "Class"? It was real classy when you pawned off Grandma's pearls.

Elizabeth: Well, we needed the rent money, you ungrateful little --

Lucky: Yeah, we needed the rent money, which she was using to cash for her boyfriend's drinks.

Elizabeth: I was faithful to Luke.

Lucky: No, she's been sleeping with half his friends and most of his enemies.

Elizabeth: Huh? Well, at least they were men and not a sorry excuse for one like you. You know what? I'm going to find my big daddy. I'm going to mow down anyone who gets in my way.

Man: Whoa! Back up, Trix. This little lady's going to mow you down.

Trixie: Oh, is that so?

Elizabeth: Yeah, that's right.

Elizabeth: I'm not afraid of you, so why don't you just tell me where Luke is.

Trixie: Honey, Luke's idea of fun is riding his bike onto a train track, listening as the whistle blows, and waiting till the engine lights blind him and the train wheels rattle his teeth, then zooming off the track in the nick of time. You want Luke? You're welcome to him. First, you'll have to pry his thoughts away from his goddess wife.

Elizabeth: I am his wife.

Trixie: Get out of here!

Elizabeth: Yeah, we've been married 10 whole months and we've had a lot of good times.

Trixie: Well, what did you do to that man, or did he always behave like a kamikaze on crack?

Lucky: Well, this cheap slut drove him over the edge! I need to help my father, but, first, I need to find him. Do me a favor, huh? Tell me where he went.

Nikolas: I -- I realize that Lucky's family has fallen apart all around him, and I know he's in pain. That's why I do my best not to react when he lashes out, you know?

Gia: Well, what about your pain? Laura is your mother, too.

Nikolas: Gia, I know it sounds like I'm blaming Luke, and I don't, okay? I understand why he's trying to protect my mother every step of the way, but with the best of his intentions, he pushed her into a psychotic break. And when he finally got to her, he made everything worse.

Gia: And Lucky can't deal? That's why he's off on a road trip looking for Luke while you have to stay here and make decisions about your mother's treatment?

Nikolas: I don't blame Lucky for being afraid for Luke, okay? I'm afraid for him, too.

Gia: But you're more afraid for Laura, right? Look, Lucky doesn't want Laura medicated because then he'd have to admit how sick she really is.

Nikolas: Thank you for saying it so I don't have to.

Gia: What are you going to do?

Nikolas: Wait. Put my energy into getting Alexis elected as D.A. You know, if Lucky can stop worrying about Luke, maybe he'll spend more time focusing on what's best for our mother.

Gia: You're a good son, Nikolas. Laura is so blessed to have you.

Nikolas: Yeah.

[Alexis turns on TV]

[Alexis changes channels]

Ned: [British accent] When last seen, our heroine, Alexis, had proposed to Ned, but had been roundly rebuffed. In episode three of "Pride and Penitence," we join Alexis a few months after the birth of her baby daughter and see that the intervening months have not been kind.

Alexis: [Cockney accent] Oh, please, Sir. A farthing? A farthing for me poppet? Oh, please, Sir. A farthing for me poor hungry daughter? Ladies, please. My only baby --

Ned: Excuse me.

Alexis: Ned? It's me.

Ned: Alexis. May I introduce my wife, Lady Ashton?

Lady Ashton: Who is this person?

Ned: Well, you remember, my darling. She asked me to marry her.

Lady Ashton: Oh, yes, of course. She expected you to accept her proposal even though she couldn't declare her affections. Oh, what a foolish, thoughtless woman. How grateful I am you refused her and married me, my darling.

Ned: I'm the one who's grateful to have you as my wife. My dear, you're not looking well.

Alexis: Oh --

Ned: But your daughter is actually quite adorable.

Alexis: Uh -- she's the apple of me eye. Yeah.

Ned: Uh -- you know -- take good care of her. A shilling.

Alexis: Thank you.

Ned: Now -- hmm -- cheerio.

Alexis: Thank you so much, Ned.

Ned: Poor creature. Her whole life could have been different if she'd just been able to say "I love you."

Lady Ashton: I love you, Neddy.

Alexis: Help me, Sir. A farthing? A farthing for me poppet?

[White noise]

Bobbie: Courtney, you are young. You'd only known A.J. a very short time before you married him.

Courtney: Okay, Bobbie, I know where this is going. You were one of the people that told me A.J. was bad news, but you're wrong. He's been incredibly caring, and he loves me, and I love him.

Bobbie: And I'm glad. I really am.

Courtney: I guess I just need to tell him that I kissed -- that I kissed someone else.

Bobbie: No! No! Never relieve your own conscience at the expense of someone you love -- unless you're planning on leaving A.J. for the other man?

Courtney: No, no, no, I would never leave A.J. You know, I don't know why I kissed this other person.

Bobbie: Well, I think the question is, would you do it again?

Courtney: No. Definitely not.

Bobbie: You don't even need to tell me, you know. Just be honest with yourself. How much do you care for this other man?

Courtney: A lot, but just as a friend.

Bobbie: Well, then, make that clear and tell him that kiss will never be repeated.

Courtney: Okay.

Bobbie: And then keep your distance. And if you find yourself thinking about him or making an excuse to see him or trying to run into him, then I think you need to ask yourself some very serious questions.

Courtney: It won't happen. Okay, I am committed to A.J., but thank you for your advice. I better get back to work. Here's your sandwich.

Woman: Thank you.

Coleman: Sorry to bother you. I just thought you might like to see the damage, compliments of your boyfriend.

Sonny: Marrying Brenda is above and beyond the call of friendship.

Jason: With everything going on, it just -- it just seemed like the right thing to do.

Sonny: You're taking a legal and financial and physical responsibility for a woman you don't even like, Jason.

Jason: I know. She's going to stay here, someone has to take care of her, and I'm in the best position to do it.

Sonny: When I asked you to look out for Brenda, I never -- you know what? I didn't think you were going to marry her. I didn't imagine you -- how you would think of something like this. How did you?

Jason: Brenda asked me.

Sonny: Bre-- okay. You got to listen to me. I saw Brenda at the hospital the other night. She was hurting emotionally. You know how she can get. I found myself thinking, you know, "She's dying, this is my last chance." I was like an addict selling myself on a fix. She kept pulling me in, you know, getting closer --

Jason: That's when Carly saw you, right?

Sonny: Yeah, right. She told me. I didn't see Carly there. But I stopped for Carly because, you know, Brenda ruined my life once. I'm not going to down that road again is what I'm trying to say.

Jason: Well, you don't have to. I'm going to take care of her. She's going to be fine.

Sonny: And then she's just going to hate you for it. This is about Jax, man! You know that!

Jason: I know that. Brenda's worst nightmare is him by her bedside watching her die.

Sonny: Yeah, right. She's dying, but there she is taking care of Jax.

Jax: There you are.

[Brenda gasps]

Jax: Oh, I'm sorry.

Brenda: Oh, my God! Look at you!

Jax: I couldn't have done it without you.

Brenda: Look at you! See? And the doctors said that you would probably never walk again, and here you are! Oh, my God.

Jax: Well, you're the one that got me started.

Brenda: Are you --

Jax: Oh --

Brenda: Are you okay?

Jax: Yeah. I'm fine.

Brenda: You sure?

Jax: Yeah. I'm worried about you. Where have you been?

Brenda: I was -- I was with Jason.

Jax: Why?

Brenda: We eloped.

Brenda: Got it?

Jax: Yeah.

Brenda: Okay.

Jax: Listen, do you understand what you've just told me?

Brenda: Yeah, and I know what you're thinking, but I know exactly what I'm doing.

Jax: You married a man that you despise, Brenda.

Brenda: Well, things change.

Jax: Why did you do that?

Brenda: Okay. When Jason was hiding me from Luis, we started to care about each other again. I mean, Jason and I have always cared about each other.

Jax: Oh, come on, Brenda.

Brenda: We went to the prom together.

Jax: Do you expect me to believe that?

Brenda: We grew up together. Listen, he really understands me. He's known me for a very long time. He knows that someday I'm not even going to know my own name, you know, and I'm going to need somebody with legal authority to sign off on my medical care.

Jax: And you want that person to be Jason?

Brenda: Yes, I do. I trust him.

Jax: He's no better than a stranger, Brenda.

Brenda: Well, who cares? Everyone's going to be a stranger to me eventually. I mean, I can't believe that you can't be happy for me.

Jax: Oh, you know what? It's not too late, okay? You just say that you made a mistake and you get an annulment.

Brenda: No!

Jax: Why not?

Brenda: What do you mean, why not?

Jax: Why are you so determined to choose the most difficult path possible?

Brenda: Because this is my life! You know, I have plans for myself, too, and Jason is taking me abroad.

Jax: I told you that you can stay here.

Brenda: I don't want to stay here.

Jax: But I want you to stay here and I want to take care of you.

Brenda: I don't want you to take care of me, Jax. You have commitments.

Jax: And I intend to honor those commitments. I love Skye, but I'm not going to let you die with Jason!

Brenda: Look, do you really believe in your heart that taking care of me would be about kindness and remembering the past? It wouldn't, Jax. We need to let each other go. I mean, stop lying to yourself and stop lying to me.

Jax: I have never --

Brenda: You know what? Just forget it.

Jax: Lied to you.

Brenda: Forget it. Forget it. You know what? You were right before. I'm sorry. You and I can't be friends, okay? I'm married. You're married. I mean, you just need to grow up. You know, the dream between us is over. I'll see you later.

Sonny: Brenda can be hard on the people who love her. And the people who don't, you know, she can be torture, Jason, is what I'm saying.

Jason: Don't you think I know that?

Sonny: But you're in this for the long haul. Can you handle it?

Jason: I can handle it.

Sonny: Let me help.

Jason: No. I got it covered.

Sonny: You make it sound like it's going to be easy. It's not. Brenda will be Brenda. And on top of that, her mind's going to start to go. She's going to push you to the limit. You're going to want to yell and scream and hit something, whatever. Okay. Tell you what. Before that happens, you call me and you yell at me instead.

[Phone rings]

Sonny: Oh, man. Hello. Yeah, Benny. I got the information upstairs. Yeah. Hold on. Okay. I'll be right back.

Jason: Oh. Carly, how long have you been there?

Carly: Just long enough to hear Sonny invite you to yell at him.

Jason: I might take him up on it.

Carly: Look, he obviously feels guilty. We both know this is my fault.

Jason: Marrying Brenda was my choice.

Carly: Yes, and I begged you to take her away from Sonny.

Jason: And I did.

Carly: Jason, she is a spoiled, materialistic, shallow little brat. She is everything that you hate. Do you realize you're giving up a huge part of your life so you can take care of her?

Jason: I got nothing but time and nothing to lose.

Carly: Really? Well, I think that Elizabeth might disagree.

Jason: Uh -- Elizabeth and I are over, okay? Actually, we never even started, and we never will.

Carly: All right. Well, you know what? I never thought Elizabeth was right for you anyway, but, you know, Courtney, on the other hand, would be great.

Jason: Ah -- Courtney is married.

Carly: To a mistake.

Jason: Well, that's not how she sees it.

Carly: Oh, come on, Jason, she's crazy about you.

Jason: Why are we even having this discussion right now?

Carly: You want to know why? Because she lights up when she talks about you. And you know what? I have no problems with it. I think it's great, okay? I'm actually very happy that her taste is improving. Of course, she started at rock bottom with A.J. You know what? She would ditch A.J. if you were free in half a second.

Jason: Okay, that's enough. You're wasting your breath.

Carly: No. You know what? Okay, well, A.J.'s got himself a little reprieve and he'll be with Courtney a little while longer until Brenda gets --

Jason: Carly --

Carly: What?

Jason: Give it a rest.

Courtney: Jason could have put you in the hospital, but he didn't even break a single bone. You got off easy.

Coleman: Yeah, well, I'm sure the cops will be a little bit more sympathetic.

Courtney: If you press charges against Jason, I'll press charges against you.

Coleman: For what? Huh? For stalking? Where's your proof?

Courtney: No. For blackmail. You forced me to strip by threatening me.

Coleman: You know what? You were a nice girl, but you are a pathetic judge of people. And you are in for a rude awakening, my dear.

Courtney: Just stay away from me and don't make trouble for Jason!

[Door closes]

v***********************************************

Gia: Ned, just the man I needed to see. Look, I've been thinking about the wedding.

Ned: The subject is closed.

Gia: Well, never say never.

Ned:  No, it's over, okay? Look, I turned down Alexis' proposal.

Gia: What? Alexis proposed? And you humiliated her?

Ned: Let me tell you about humiliation. Humiliation is standing at the altar, watching your bride walk down the aisle, when suddenly a look of abject terror washes over her face and she bolts from the church. Humiliation is finding out that she flagged down a semi so she can get away from you as far as possible.

Gia: Okay.

Ned: Humiliation is when that very same fiancée proposes to me, not out of love, but because she considers me the perfect campaign accessory. That's what humiliation is.

Alexis' voice: "Some voters have assumed that my status as a single mother-to-be means I'm anti-marriage. Nothing could be further from the truth."

Minister's voice: Are you all right, Ms. Davis?

Ned: Alexis? Honey?

Ned: Alexis!

Alexis' voice: "But strong marriages are based on abiding love. Then abiding love is rare."

Ned's voice: I wish you could see yourself the way I see you right now, how beautiful you are, how feminine, how strong. You take my breath away.

[Music plays]

Ned: Somewhere along the way, I think you became home. And today I just felt a little homesick.

Gia: Ned, you know perfectly well that Alexis loves you.

Ned: Really? Well, she forgot to mention that in her proposal.

Gia: Well, did it ever occur to you that maybe she just doesn't want to get hurt?

Ned: No, no, no. Frankly, it didn't occur to me.

Gia: Look, Alexis probably figures that you've got your defenses up, which, obviously, you do, so she pitched marriage as a campaign tool to keep from exposing herself too much. Maybe she's shying away from saying "I love you" because, well, it would make her feel too vulnerable.

Sonny: Where's Jason?

Carly: He left. I am planning the wedding reception. Do you think I should invite the Quartermaines? For some bizarre reason, they're nuts about Brenda.

Sonny: You're not serious about that ridiculous party, are you?

Carly: It's not ridiculous.

Sonny: Well, it is to Jason because he hates parties.

Carly: Sonny, he deserves something for the sacrifice he just made.

Sonny: Well, why don't you buy him a present? You know, a pool stick or a leather jacket.

Carly: No, he hates presents, too.

Sonny: Well, there's your answer. Don't do anything.

Carly: Sonny --

Sonny: Yes?

Carly: The point of this party is to help Jason forget, maybe for half a second, that he is married to a woman he hates.

Sonny: Well, you know, maybe he'll march into his bedroom, slam the door like you used to do.

Carly: I only did that because you're a control freak.

Sonny: Ha. Yeah?

Carly: Yeah.

Sonny: What have I ever controlled about you?

Carly: Oh. Should I write a list? No, I'll just tell you the list. Okay.

Sonny: Okay.

Carly: Let me see -- my behavior --

Sonny: Yeah.

Carly: My diet, my schedule, my life, my --

Sonny: Go ahead. I mean, you're on a roll.

Carly: Sonny, what if it happens to them like it happened to us?

Sonny: What?

Carly: No, I'm serious.

Sonny: What?

Carly: You don't -- listen. We despised each other, okay?

Sonny: Right.

Carly: And then we fell madly in love. They hate each other. Do you see where I am going with this?

Sonny: Well, it's not the same.

Carly: How do you know?

Sonny: Because when I -- even when I used to hate you, right?

Carly: Yeah.

Sonny: I always wanted to, like, take you to bed, you know?

Carly: Yeah?

Sonny: Yeah.

Carly: All righty. What do you think? Maybe now we could go --

Sonny: Well, I don't know about --

[Phone rings]

Carly: Ugh --

Sonny: I got to get the phone. Sorry. Sorry. Hello.

Jax: I need to see you, right away.

Bobbie: Hi.

Jason: Do you have a minute?

Courtney: I -- Bobbie, can I take a short break?

Bobbie: Sure.

Courtney: Thanks.

Jason: Okay, listen, there's something I really need to tell you.

Courtney: All right, but there's something I need to tell you first. Jason, you have always been good to me. I mean, from the first time we met when you gave up your scrambled eggs to chill out an angry customer --

Jason: Courtney, you need to listen.

Courtney: Just let me finish, okay? You've done so many wonderful things for me. I mean, you saved me from that drunken biker at the oasis. You fixed things so that A.J. didn’t have to go to jail. You stayed with me so that I wouldn't be scared. Jason, you've been a great friend.

Jason: And you are, too, but there's --

Courtney: No, but -- and I let things be more than that, and I shouldn't have. I was impulsive. I wasn't thinking. I -- if I were single, then maybe there would be a chance. I just -- I'm not, though. I'm married to the man that I love. Why are you wearing a wedding ring?

Jason: I got married last night.

Trixie: Luke's crazy. He's a few cards short of a deck, but he's a hell of a guy and a spit load of fun. I don't want to go making trouble for him.

Lucky: I love my father. I don't want to hurt him. I want to help.

Trixie: For all I know, you're his demon seed.

Elizabeth: Look, Trixie, come here. I need a chance to make things right with Luke, because he's been riding his bike on those train tracks because of me.

Trixie: Well, Luke is carrying a real big torch for his wife. She's his only hope.

Elizabeth: And I can't help him unless I know where to find him.

Trixie: No, something isn't right here. You don't fit Luke's description of his wife. For one thing, she's a blonde.

Elizabeth: Yeah? So I used to bleach my hair.

Trixie: He's got her on a pedestal. You're not the pedestal type.

Elizabeth: Luke used to call me his princess.

Trixie: He never said his wife was the size of a stick.

Elizabeth: Well, I haven't eaten since we broke up, okay? I've been getting by on creola gin.

Trixie: Girl, that stuff will kill you!

Elizabeth: Look, I need my man. Just tell me where he is.

Trixie: First, tell me your name.

Elizabeth: Laura.

Trixie: Well, I'll be. Luke's headed south to this little town called Perkinsville in the red creek county.

Gia: Hey. Are you all right?

Alexis: I just proposed to a man that I really do love!

Alan: Brenda.

Edward: My dear, what a sight for sore eyes.

Monica: Yes, we were very worried about you when you didn't come home last night.

Edward: Thank you. Where were you, dear?

Alan: What happened?

Brenda: It's kind of hard for me to talk. I -- I'm so happy. I eloped!

Lila: Oh, this is wonderful news.

Alan: You're married?

Brenda: Yes.

Edward: To whom?

Brenda: Jason.

Edward: Is this some kind of a joke?

Monica: I didn't know you were even on speaking terms.

Alan: Well, you know what they say, love and hate --

Monica: Well, yes, that makes sense to me.

Lila: We're so very pleased, Brenda, dear.

Reginald: Yeah, just a -- a little dumbfounded.

Edward: Now, everybody, just be quiet. We all want to hear the story, dear. But, to be honest, I think we all felt that your heart was invested elsewhere. But diversification is the key to profit, so why don't you just tell us how this whole unexpected event came to pass, huh?

Brenda: Yeah, well, you kind of had to be there, you know, to get caught up in the magic, the moment.

Alan: So there -- there was a moment, a time when this all just turned around?

Brenda: Yeah, it was a little sudden, but you know me. I've always been impulsive.

Alan: That's true, but Jason isn't.

Monica: Well, maybe he's changing.

Alan: Why would either of you want to do this?

Brenda: Love makes you do crazy things.

Alan: That's true. Okay, folks, let's take this one step at a time. When did Jason actually propose?

Brenda: Oh, last night in a limo. It was incredibly romantic. Marry me.

Jason: No way in hell!

Courtney: Brenda Barrett, the model? I read about her in the paper. She used to be married to Jax, and she was there the night he married Skye. I never even heard you mention her, and now you're married. Why?

Jax: Well, congratulations. You finally got what you wanted -- a devoted wife in your bed and a devoted mistress across the hall.

Sonny: You didn't waste any time shifting the blame, did you, candy boy?

Jax: So what's the plan? Going to spend a nice evening with Brenda cuddling and then go home and sleep with your wife? Is that why you got your lackey Jason to force her into a senseless marriage?

Sonny: Brenda eloped because of you.

>> On the next "General Hospital" --

Gia: You never know when love will just take you by surprise.

Alexis: Don't tell Ned.

Alan: I had no idea that Jason's been in love with you all this time.

Brenda: I'm happy.

Courtney: Are you sort of rescuing her like you rescued me?

Jason: No, it isn't the same.

Sonny: You're still in love with Brenda.

Jax: And you aren't?

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