GH Transcript Tuesday 10/15/02



General Hospital Transcript Wednesday 10/15/02

Provided by Amanda
Proofread by Audrie

>> Previously on "General Hospital" --

Felicia: I'm going to miss you.

Roy: Likewise, kiddo.

Courtney: Guess I have a bodyguard.

Jason: I can promise you that if he tries to hurt you, I'll be there to stop him.

Carly: I want the document back you blackmailed me into signing about Sonny's affair with Alexis.

Brenda: Tell me the truth. You need me to leave town?

Skye: I'm going to be there with you, no matter what.

Jax: You're not going to be there because I want a divorce.

Courtney: You're not really big on furniture, are you?

Jason: What do you mean?

Courtney: Well, couch, a desk, and a pool table?

Jason: Yeah -- a place to sit, a place to do some work, play a game if I get bored. Why do I need any-- anything else? Hey, look, you can sit down, relax. I don't think the stalker came back while we were gone.

Courtney: It's just the thought of some weirdo setting up cameras in here just makes my skin crawl. I know he wants me afraid, and I'm trying not to give him the satisfaction, but it really helps having someone here with me.

Jason: Well, until now, he's been in control, playing his little games, getting you to react. But now you've turned the tables. This is the first step towards stopping this guy.

Courtney: Well, do you think he'll quit now that we got rid of his surveillance stuff?

Jason: I don't think he'll make it that easy. He's probably wondering what -- what we're doing right now. Look, Courtney, he might get curious enough to come see for himself.

Courtney: Well, I almost wish that he would. I just -- I want this whole thing to be over with. I'll get some sheets and a blanket for the couch.

Jason: No, no, no, don't bother.

Courtney: Jason, you're doing me a huge favor. You should at least be comfortable.

Jason: I didn't use them last time. It's a waste.

Courtney: Yeah, and I barely slept in there thinking about you. Being uncomfortable, I mean.

Carly: Do whatever you want to Alexis. Drag her through the mud, whatever it takes to win the election, but you leave me and Sonny out of this. We never spoke.

Scott: Ok. But one condition.

Skye: You're tired. You're in pain. You're on lots of medication.

Jax: My legs are paralyzed, Skye, not my brain. Our marriage is over. I'm going to call my lawyers first thing.

Skye: You can't mean that.

Jax: You'll get a generous settlement.

Skye: I don't care about that, and you know it.

Jax: You can keep the lake house. You can sell it. You can live there if you want. I don't care.

Skye: No.

Jax: I won't be going back.

Skye: Jax, stop it! We are not getting a divorce! I love you and you love me, and don't you dare try to deny it. We exchanged vows. We promised to love each other forever.

Jax: Nothing's forever, Skye.

Sonny: This is compensation for the time you lost with Alcazar.

Brenda: I chose to be with Alcazar. I was wrong, obviously, but I don't deserve to be compensated for anything.

Sonny: It'll buy your independence. I know how you feel about being supported.

Brenda: You know, could you just shut up? I mean, you're just -- you're making me feel like I'm some sort of charity you're contributing to.

Sonny: So you'll take help from the Quartermaines, but not from me? I thought you wanted to go to Europe, live on your own terms. You can do that with this.

Brenda: You know, there's a big difference between me taking money from you and borrowing money from the Quartermaines.

Sonny: This is Alcazar's money. He owes you. Just take it. It's what you want, right?

Brenda: No. It sounds like it's what you want. Is this about Carly?

Sonny: Yeah, I discussed this with Carly.

Brenda: And? Did she beg you to get me out of town or --

Sonny: Carly's not much for begging.

Brenda: Hmm.

Sonny: But, yeah, it's true, she doesn't want you here. But that's not why I'm here. I listened to you -- ahem -- you know, while Jason kept you in the safe house. I was on the other side of the wall and I heard what you want, and I just want to make sure that you get it.

Brenda: So that was so important, you had to come here tonight? It was very urgent? Did you want to see me?

Sonny: Come on, we don't want to go there.

Brenda: Aw, come on. Yeah, you still can't tell the truth, huh? Such a good liar. But you're intolerant of anyone lying to you. I'm happy for you, that you found someone who can put up with all that. So will it make your relationship better if I leave town? Is that why you wanted me to believe that you died at the church?

Sonny: My marriage to Carly has nothing to do with you. She's my wife. I love her. Nothing's going to change that -- not you, nothing. So if you want to stay, stay. If you want to go, go. If you want to move next door, you know, nothing's going to affect Carly and me.

Brenda: Well, good. I'm staying. I'm not going back to Europe, and I don't want your money, so --

Sonny: Well, that's what you wanted.

Brenda: What?

Sonny: You suddenly change your mind? I mean, what, are you mad at me, so you want to do the exact opposite of what I want so you don't get hurt?

Brenda: Am I mad at you? You? I mean, you really are the most self-involved man I've ever met in my whole entire life. This doesn't have anything to do with you.

Sonny: Ah.

Brenda: I'm staying here because Jax may be paralyzed. Wow, look at that -- something your $2 million can't fix. I'm staying here until I know he's ok or until he asks me to leave.

Skye: There is no way I am letting you do this.

Jax: What I do from here on out isn't up to you.

Skye: You're my husband.

Jax: Listen, we got married based on assumptions about the rest of our lives. But things have changed.

Skye: Change is a part of life, Jax. Change is assumed. "For better or for worse, in sickness and in health." Does any of that sound familiar?

Jax: Right now at this moment, it sounds like a cosmic joke.

Skye: Oh, Jax, come on, you're not a quitter. You didn't give up on me and you're damn sure not going give up on yourself or on us, ok? You just don't want me to see you go through this.

Jax: Skye, do you really want to be tied to a man in a wheelchair?

Skye: If that man is you, yes.

Jax: You'd be wasting your life. You'd be cheering from the sideline in a battle that neither one of us can possibly win.

Skye: I can't believe that you would give me so little credit. Do you really think that I'm that superficial? I love you no matter what happens.

Jax: If you love me, if you really love me, then please don't drag this out any longer than necessary. Now, just go. Just go.

Skye: Never.

Jax: All right. Fine.

Skye: Jax, what are you doing?

Jax: If you won't leave, I'll drag myself over there and I'll throw you out.

Skye: Jax, no -- stop it! What are you doing?

Jax: Oh, God. Skye, get the hell away from me. Please, get the hell away from me.

Carly: I should have known this was too easy.

Scott: Well, just hear me out.

Carly: What do you want now, Scott?

Scott: Well, I don't want you to monkey around with my relationship with Bobbie.

Carly: Why would I? I have every confidence in the world that you'll mess that up yourself.

Scott: Thank you.

Carly: You're welcome. You serious about my mother?

Scott: Yes, I am, and I don't want a decision made in the heat of the moment to come back and bite us, like the affidavit.

Carly: Don't touch me. As far as I'm concerned, there never was an affidavit. Just like Sonny never slept with Alexis, just like you never tried to blackmail me by threatening to take my son. I guess I can't tell my mother about anything that didn't happen.

Scott: Glad to hear it. You want a button?

Man: I got that file you asked for, Mr. Baldwin.

Scott: Oh, look that. That's just great. Here, what are you doing without a button on? Put that on.

Man: Yeah, you got it, Mr. B.

Scott: All right, what do we got here? You know, with all the time that Alexis spent representing Corinthos, you'd think there'd be more photos of them together.

Man: That's all they got? That's not very incriminating.

Scott: Well, it establishes a connection. If I had the actual footage of them sleeping together, that would be better.

Man: You're not serious.

Scott: Oh, I'm serious, and I'm going to prove it.

Bobbie: Your guidance counselor called. Apparently, in addition to detention, you failed another test.

Lucas: It was just a pop quiz on the civil war. It hardly even counts.

Bobbie: And then you cut study hall, where you should have been doing your homework, and now I find you here when you should be home, studying. Lucas, what's going on with you?

Felicia: Hi. Hello. Hi. Ready to go?

Lucas: She can't. She's tutoring me.

Jason: Look, you don't need to do this. I'm not here to sleep.

Courtney: Oh. Well, I guess that won't be a problem, then. Rosie, where are your manners? Get down. Rosie, get down, girl. What? She understands me.

Jason: Yeah, I can tell by the way she's listening.

Courtney: She happens to be very smart.

Jason: If you say so.

Courtney: I get the feeling you don't like dogs.

Jason: No, no, they're ok. I just don't know that many dogs.

Courtney: You never had a dog?

Jason: No. My sister did. His name was Raul and he was out of control.

Courtney: So you had one bad experience. Rosie's nothing like that. She is loyal and faithful. Aren't you, girl? And she's patient and caring and, no matter how off the wall I get, she always listens to me. You know, come to think of it, she's actually a lot like you.

Courtney: Ok, here. Take these.

Jason: No, thanks, I already ate.

Courtney: Oh, very funny. They're for Rosie. I want you to train her.

Jason: To do what?

Courtney: To be a ferocious, intimidating guard dog.

Jason: Well, I don't -- I don't really think that's possible.

Courtney: Sure it is. Just tell her what to do so she can guard me when you're not here.

Jason: I don't know how to train a dog.

Courtney: It's easy, ok? When she does what you tell her, you just reward her. She'll do all the work. I am telling you, she's really smart. Just do it, please?   Please?

Jason: Ok, ok.

Courtney: Ok.

Jason: Hey, dog --

Courtney: Rosie.

Jason: Rosie. Ok. All right, Rosie, look, check this out. Here's the deal -- protecting someone is a big responsibility. It's probably the most important job that you'll ever have.

Courtney: See how she's listening?

Jason: Yeah, yeah, I can -- I can see. All right, Rosie, rule number one -- you make sure the person that you're protecting comes first, always. Hey, you getting this?

Courtney: I'm sure she is.

Jason: Ok, good. Rule number 2 -- you be sure the person that you're protecting knows that they can rely on you and they don't have to be afraid or alone ever. Yeah. Think she understood any of that?

Courtney: All of it.

[Phone rings]

Courtney: Hello? Hello? Who is this? Answer me. It's him.

Jason: He - hung up.

Courtney: It was him. I heard him listening.

Jason: So let's try to find out who it is.

Lucas: Maxie's really good at this. The way she explains history, I just sort of get it.

Georgie: History's Maxie's worst subject. If I didn't help her study, she would totally fail.

Maxie: It's easier with Lucas. Maybe it's because we're studying together.

Bobbie: Felicia, if you have a few minutes, would you like to have a cup of coffee?

Felicia: Yeah. I accept.

Felicia: You're not going to believe what he just said?

Bobbie: Oh, are you kidding? I am starting to get concerned because Lucas has always been such a good kid, and lately it's just been one thing after another with him.

Felicia: Well, you know, it's just the age, I guess. I mean, they're pushing their boundaries and testing their limits and getting into trouble just to see what they can get away with. I'm not actually sure that ever stops, really. I've pushed a few boundaries myself.

Bobbie: I was working in I.C.U. for a few hours earlier and, you know, there's a real possibility that Jax may be permanently paralyzed.

Jax: This isn't a good time.

Brenda: Well, I won't stay long.

Jax: Good night, Brenda.

Brenda: Something new happen?

Jax: No. No. I'm still paralyzed. I've just had about as much sympathy as I can handle for one night, you know. The last thing I need is more words of encouragement.

Brenda: Hmm, well, then I won't give you any.

Jax: No, you'll just sit there, right, and feel sorry for me. I'm not even a week into this, Brenda, and I'm going out of my mind. Please, just go, ok? I already threw Skye out earlier, and I don't want to do that twice in one night. I mean it.

Brenda: Nobody understands what you're going through better than I do. And you are not going to do to Skye what I did to you.

Skye: Why are they letting you walk around free?

Alcazar: Mrs. Jacks, you seem upset.

Skye: You're going to pretend to be polite to me, concerned, after what you've done?

Alcazar: Discretion being the better part of valor, it may be better for both of us, if I simply hobble away.

Skye: No, the fact that you are walking at all is a travesty. You should suffer for what you've done.

Alcazar: Well, fortunately for me, the doctors here disagree with you.

Skye: I wish they'd let you die. I really do. Jax is paralyzed because of you!

[Door opens]

Carly: Michael's missed his first week of school, which isn't a big deal, but his teachers wanted to see us. Is 3:00 tomorrow ok for you?

Sonny: 3:00 is fine, yeah. Is it going to be just you and me, or is Michael coming?

Carly: No, it's just us. They want to talk to us about what he's missed and what our expectations are --

Sonny: Well, I mean, he's in first grade. I mean, what -- he's supposed to be having fun and maybe trying to read, you know, "run, spot, run." I mean --

Carly: It's ok. I can go by myself.

Sonny: Carly, I'm sorry. I'm distracted. You are showing, you know, self-control, not asking, you know, about it.

Carly: About Brenda? Well, I can see something's going on, but I don't know what it is. I don't know if you're upset, maybe because she's leaving or because she's staying.

Sonny: Brenda turned down the money. She's not going anywhere.

Carly: Fabulous.

Lucas: There's a party tonight at vista point. You up for it?

Maxie: Right, like my mom would ever let me go with all the grief I've been giving her lately.

Lucas: Don't tell her.

Georgie: You know, if you guys get caught, she's probably going to send Maxie and I back to Texas where it's a more stable environment.

Maxie: Quit listening in, Georgie.

Lucas: Georgie, you can't say anything, ok? Come on, we got to go.

Scott: Hey, girls.

Bobbie: Scott.

Scott: There you go.

Felicia: Hello.

Bobbie: Luke back in town?

Scott: What? What? Luke? Why would you say that? Did you hear something?

Bobbie: Why else would you be walking around with a black eye?

Scott: Oh. Oh, the doorknob at the office.

Felicia: Did you peek through a keyhole?

Scott: No. No, I got my key stuck in the lock. You know, I was down like this and then -- bang.

Felicia: Ah.

Scott: Listen, I've been looking for you because I need to speak to Roy. I want to go over his statement before I file the indictment against Alcazar.

Felicia: You're too late. Roy's gone.

Officer: Hey, hey, hey.

Skye: My God, what, you're going to protect him after what he's done, the lives he's tried to take? There is a man in I.C.U. Right now who may never walk again because of what he's done!

Officer: That's enough, ma'am.

Skye: No, he's a criminal! He deserves to pay!

Officer: Mrs. Jacks --

Skye: You are going to pay.

Alcazar: She's distraught over her husband's condition. She's not responsible for what she's saying.

Skye: Oh, I know exactly what I'm saying. But just so you're clear, I'm going to make sure you burn in hell for what you did to my husband.

Alcazar: Let's go.

Brenda: I know how you feel.

Jax: No, you don't.

Brenda: Oh, I don't? Huh. Do you remember the night you came to me and you told me that I might have my mother's disease? And I begged you to leave me if the tests were positive, I told you it was over, and what did you do?

Jax: I refused.

Brenda: And that is why I had to let you believe that I died when I went over that cliff. I know you want to push me away and Skye away and everyone that you care about, and I understand that you're being totally selfish.

Jax: I get to be selfish because I'm the one that's lying here.

Brenda: Right.

Jax: It's not you, it's not Skye. I'm the one that's lying here.

Brenda: I know. And you think you're doing the right thing because you're protecting the people that you love from being burdened by your pain. And I know you feel like you're damaged and no one's ever going to love you the same.

Jax: Ok, so you know what I'm going through. So why the hell are you arguing with me?

Brenda: Because I was wrong.

Jax: What -- what are you saying?

Brenda: I didn't let you support me, and I should have. And I can't do anything to change that now, but you can with Skye. You can let her love you. You know, time is precious, and you shouldn't waste it. And you are the strongest person I have ever known and you're going to get through this. You can get through this. And you're going to be good to your wife, nice to your wife. So, get to work.

Jax: Ok.

Nurse: Brenda Barrett?

Brenda: Yes?

Nurse: There's a patient asking for you.

Brenda: Who?

Nurse: A Mr. Alcazar?

Sonny: Brenda is staying here to be near Jax until he recovers, assuming that happens.

Carly: Oh, I see. Brenda's going to teach Jax to walk again?

Sonny: Well, maybe, I don't know, but that's not our problem.

Carly: You know, the one I feel sorry for in all this is Skye.

Sonny: Since when, Carly?

Carly: Well, I'm not pretending that we're best friends, but Skye loves Jax, and it's pretty obvious that Brenda and Jax are in love with each other, so it's got to be awful for her. I mean, here she is -- you know, you find someone and you fall in love and you find a happiness that you never knew existed, and then someone just comes in to take it away.

Sonny: You're not talking about us, are you? Because that's never going to happen.

Jason: I knew it. It's blocked.

Courtney: I hate him.

Jason: Well, you should. That's right, getting mad and fighting back is more effective than just sitting around and being afraid.

Courtney: Well, I'm just glad that you're here, that's all. I don't have to be his victim or feel helpless. I feel like I'm in charge, like I can stop this sick game -- because of you.

[Phone rings]

Courtney: Hello?

A.J.: Courtney?

Courtney: A.J.

A.J.: How are you? Courtney?

Courtney: I'm here.

A.J.: Is something wrong?

Courtney: The stalking's getting worse. I just got another call.

A.J.: I'll be on the next flight home.

Courtney: No, A.J., don't come home until you're through. I'm fine, really. It's a little scary, but I'm being careful, and I've got Rosie here to protect me. Do you know how long you're going to be?

A.J.: Judge is taking his time. Could be another week or so. I'm not even sure it's worth it.

Courtney: No, I'll just see you when you get back.

A.J.: Ok. I love you, sweetheart.

Courtney: I love you, too. And I'm fine, I promise. He doesn't know how much longer he's going to be. But at least I got to tell him what's going on.

Jason: You didn't tell him I was here.

Courtney: A.J. Needs to focus on his court case, and if he thought that I needed someone here, he'd be on the first plane home, and especially if he knew it was you that was helping me.

Jason: Yeah, you're probably right.

Courtney: He has no reason to be jealous. He knows that I love him. It's just that he feels like he's in competition with you about protecting me. He just doesn't understand that you're just doing me a favor, being a friend, a brother-in-law. As soon as he works out all this financial stuff and gets home, I'll explain everything.

Jason: Ok.

Courtney: Do you think that he'll overreact and be hurt and jealous?

Jason: You know, I don't care whether he does or not. All I want to do is get you through this.

Courtney: Thank you. I'm really glad that you're on my side.

Jason: You're welcome.

Courtney: Now, will you promise me that you'll use this bed that I made for you?

Jason: Hey, don't tell me how to do my job, ok?

Courtney: Ok, then I'll say good night.

Scott: Roy's my star witness against Alcazar. He knows that. Now, when's he coming back?

Felicia: I don't know if he is coming back.

Scott: What do you mean, he's not coming back?

Felicia: I do know he already gave a deposition.

Scott: Yeah, but that doesn't mean anything. I need a live body, not a piece of paper on the witness stand.

Felicia: Well, I can testify, same as Roy.

Scott: No, no, no, you're no good.

Bobbie: Scott, Felicia is going to make an excellent witness, but she's not on the stand right now, so stop grilling her.

Felicia: I got to go. Good night.

Scott: Hey, don't forget your button.

Felicia: Time to go.

Maxie: Uh, we aren't done yet, mom. Lucas has this test tomorrow and we're not even halfway through the materials.

Felicia: Are you really studying?

Maxie: Yeah. Absolutely.

Felicia: Well, I don't see test notes or any practice tests.

Georgie: Um, well, they dropped it.

Felicia: "10 major causes of the civil war -- slavery, states' rights --" I'm sorry. Will you be home by 10:00?

Maxie: Yeah.

Felicia: Ok.

Maxie: Thanks, Mom.

Felicia: Mm-hmm.

Georgie: You guys owe me big.

Scott: Bobbie, why is it your family and your friends seem to make my job so difficult?

Bobbie: They don't. But I will if you don't treat them fairly.

Scott: Oh, I promise. Will you wear my button?

Bobbie: That depends.

Scott: On what?

Brenda: What do you want?

Alcazar: That hasn't changed since the day I found you. I want us to be together --

Brenda: Hmm.

Alcazar: To love you and have you love me. Everything you were afraid of happened, Brenda. There's no reason to stay here. Jax and Sonny have other lives. All they're going to do is hurt you, and you're going to do the same to them. So the best thing for everyone is if you come back to me.

Brenda: Except that you're going to prison.

Alcazar: Come on, Brenda, you know me better than that. You say the word, we'll be on a plane to Switzerland within the hour.

Brenda: You tried to hurt two people that I love.

Alcazar: Yeah, well, they're alive and well.

Brenda: Jax may be paralyzed.

Alcazar: How you going to help him by staying here? We had a good life, Brenda, one that worked. You don't have much time left. You really want to waste it in a place where you don't belong, where you're an outsider looking in? You'll be back. You need me.

Brenda: You're going to hell.

Carly: Don't you know how far I would go for you?

Sonny: Yeah, a little bit, judging by your past performances.

Carly: Well, you and Michael are the most precious things in the world to me. And I would fight anyone who tried to come between us, even you.

Sonny: Me?

Carly: Yeah, well, you've put up as many roadblocks as anyone else.

Sonny: Oh, yeah, I forgot -- you're perfect.

Carly: Look --

Sonny: Hmm?

Carly: The only thing I'm not going to fight is your heart. If your heart is with someone else and you want someone and you don't want me anymore, then --

Sonny: Hey, wait, wait, that's not going to happen. What are you talking about? I'm -- what do you think the three weddings were about?

Carly: Oh, yeah, those.

Sonny: You know what would happen if you walked out on me?

Carly: Hmm?

Sonny: I don't know if I could live without you.

Carly: Why? Because you'd miss the sex?

Sonny: Not as much as you would.

Carly: Ok, dream on. Dream on!

Sonny: Come on, come on, how many times have you stood here, right, and recited, chapter and verse, how much you hated me, how much you never wanted to see me again, that I was the most despicable man on the planet, and next thing you know we're in bed, huh? Come on.

Carly: Have you always been so deluded, huh?

Sonny: Well, I'm not deluded about you. Ok?

Carly: No?

Sonny: Because I've always known what you wanted.

Carly: Oh, yeah?

Sonny: Right. Even more than you do.

Sonny: What's going on?

Scott: So, what do I have to do to get your vote?

Bobbie: Actually, you're doing just fine. I kind of like the way your hair's all out of control. I suppose we could button up your coat a little and straighten out your collar.

Scott: Well, that's enough. What else?

Bobbie: You might show a little more consideration for my family and my friends. Especially my brother, wherever he may be.

Scott: Ok, well, then I solemnly swear to uphold a certain moral fiber and -- ok?

Bobbie: I never said I wanted a boy scout.

Scott: Well, a boy scout I ain't.

Courtney: I just need some water.

Courtney: Would you mind if I left my bedroom door open? I think I'd feel a little safer.

Jason: . It's your place.

Courtney: Night.

Jason: Night. What --

Courtney: Oh. Rosie, come on, let's leave Jason alone.

Jason: No, no, no, it's ok. We'll both guard you.

Sonny: Oh, yeah.

Carly: Thank you.

Sonny: You're welcome.

Carly: Ok. I didn't mean for that.

Sonny: What, you got a problem with that? Huh?

Carly: Well, only when it stopped.

Sonny: Well, we can do it again.

Carly: Yeah?

Sonny: Yeah. Come on.

Carly: You know, just having you here in my arms makes me feel so lucky, so grateful because, you know, you could have ended up like Jax, and I don't know what I would do if that happened.

Sonny: You would start over. I'd make you, because I wouldn't want you to be with me.

Carly: I would never leave you, ever.

Sonny: Well, I would make you because you know what? I don't care how cruel I.... I'd have to be, I could not look at you, right, and know that I can't have that again. So -- I would close off, shut myself down, and I wouldn't let anyone, especially you, ever touch me again.

Carly: Sonny --

Brenda: You should go see him.

Skye: Doesn't want to see me. He wants a divorce.

Brenda: He just doesn't want to be less in your eyes.

Skye:  He's not. My God, why doesn't he see that? Why won't he listen to reason?

Brenda: Because what Jax is going through right now is not reasonable, and you can't do anything about the way he's choosing to deal with it. But be with him and love him through this no matter what he says to you.

Skye: You still love Jax, don't you?

Brenda: Hmm. Not as much as he loves you.

Skye: Well, I'm not giving up on him. Ever.

Skye: You're in pain.

Jax: I'll take care of it myself. That's what this thing's designed for -- cripples like me.

Skye: Jax --

Jax: I don't need your help, Skye. I don't want it.

Skye: You can be as hurt and as angry as you want. You can scream at me or the heavens -- whatever helps -- but I am staying right here until you realize that we are stronger together than we are apart. Jax, please. Please believe in us. Please don't stop believing in me and in you and, mostly, in us.

>> On the next "General Hospital" --

Ned: Not too late to back out.

Alexis: I will handle whatever Scott throws at me.

Sonny: You hate Baldwin almost as much as you hate Alexis.

Carly: I wanted to be there for my mom.

Elizabeth: You've been here all by yourself. Maybe --

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