>> Previously on "General Hospital" --
Luke: All right, Helena. Little costume show is over.
Elizabeth: Are you the one who beat up Zander?
Jason: Can you leave it alone?
Zander: I'll find something, all right?
Elizabeth: You can stay at my studio.
Alexis: Sonny is never going to know that this baby is his.
Dr. Meadows: You can't get pregnant. Mrs. Corinthos?
[Knock on door]
Zander: You think it's Lucky?
Luke: What are you doing here?
Laura: Keep your voice down. Look, you were acting really, really strange, and it became obvious to me that somebody was trying to sabotage our wedding, so I didn't really need three guesses to come up with Helena.
Luke: Yeah, but you not only figured out the problem, you followed me to the prison and then here.
Laura: I followed my instincts.
Luke: Damn good instincts they are, too.
Luke: Hmm, you look nice. What do you say we find a nice little cloistered room and make love?
Laura: I'm wearing a wimple.
Luke: Yeah. I know.
Laura: Gee, just when you think you know someone -- okay, look -- I've been here long enough to know that you are looking for Helena. She's obviously one of the three missing nuns. Let's go find her.
Luke: You got it. Come on.
Mother Superior: Father Timothy, stop right there!
Elizabeth: Jason. I wasn't expecting you.
Jason: Well, it wasn't a plan. I just saw your lights on, so I stopped.
Jason: Is everything okay?
Elizabeth: Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just busy.
Zander: She has a guest.
Jason: What's he doing here?
Zander: I'm staying here. So I guess the question applies to you. What do you want, Jason?
Alexis: Feel free to jump in any time. Call me an idiot, you can call me a fool, it's okay. In fact, why don't you hurry up and do it so we can just get it over with?
Ned: Now, why would I do that?
Alexis: Because you are right to do that. Because here stands Alexis Davis, Cassadine by blood, high-powered -- and let's not forget -- principled attorney by choice, knocked up by her mobster client.
Ned: Things are what they are. You're pregnant, the baby is Sonny's, and I fully support your decision not to tell.
Alexis: Thank you for that, honestly. I'm not in a position to defend myself. I just -- I don't have the energy. Which brings me to Kristina. I don't want her to know.
Ned: Well, wouldn't it help to have a confidante?
Alexis: Seems that I have one. I love my sister dearly, you know that. But she will do one of two things -- maybe both of two things. She will argue with me incessantly, insisting that she knows exactly how I feel all along, or she will run across the hall and blurt it out to Sonny, saying that she couldn't help herself, and I can't risk that happening, and I -- I know it's unfair to ask you to keep something from her.
Ned: Well, it's your call, and I'll do whatever you say. But I think it's important to be realistic. I mean, after a certain time, Sonny's not going to need Kristina to tell that you're pregnant. And I think he's more than capable of being able to count backwards five or six months. So how -- how are you going to convince him that this child isn't his?
Carly: Well, maybe there was a misinterpretation, a mistake.
Dr. Meadows: I'm sorry, Mrs. Corinthos. I know how badly you wanted another child.
Carly: So you're saying it's not possible?
Dr. Meadows: That's right. You're not able to conceive.
Carly: Well, even though it's happened twice before?
Dr. Meadows: Well, I suspect the fall down the stairs might have something to do with it. There are tests we can run.
Carly: Yeah, you know, I think that's best. I will -- I will be in touch.
Sonny: Who got you so upset?
Carly: I'm sorry, what?
Sonny: The call -- who is it?
Carly: Oh, it was -- it was the club. The club -- there was some -- some discrepancy over receipts. It -- it -- it's really boring stuff. You don't want to know about it.
Sonny: Are you sure that's it?
Sonny: Because you look a little, you know, shell-shocked.
Carly: Yeah, well, it's just -- it's how I look when I think about money.
Sonny: You mean, your own?
Carly: That's very funny. You know what? I don't want to talk about the club. Only us.
Sonny: All right. I got something for you.
Carly: Yeah? A present?
Sonny: Well, I -- you could say that.
Carly: What is it? Dessert?
Sonny: Look closely.
Carly: What's this?
Sonny: Open it.
Carly: Is this for real?
Sonny: Do you understand what it means?
Sonny: Hey. Look at me. That was supposed to make you smile. Maybe you misunderstood. Maybe you just saw a legal document that mentioned divorce. I called yesterday and had them stop the divorce before it was finalized. Look at me. We're still married, okay?
Carly: I know, I know, I understand.
Sonny: Then what -- what is it? Am I pressuring you? Am I moving too fast? Because we'll take this as slowly as you want to take it.
Carly: No, Sonny, no. Being your wife -- being -- being able to call you my husband -- God, that's what I want more than anything.
Sonny: Okay. Then what --
Carly: I just -- it's not why I'm upset.
Sonny: Then what -- what is it? Because whatever it is, you can tell me, okay? We're together in this, and I want to do this all the way, no matter what.
Carly: I want to tell you. It's not that easy.
Carly: Because of what it's going to mean to you.
Ned: You know how much children mean to Sonny. He's practically a maniac on the subject.
Alexis: I know.
Ned: I mean, I don't need to tell you how long he's been in a battle with my family over Michael, and he's not even the biological Father.
Alexis: I know.
Ned: You know what's going to happen if he gets any idea that you might be carrying his child.
Alexis: I do.
Ned: Well, it's one thing to say that you're going to hide this child from him. It's even better, Alexis, if you actually have a plan. Now, do you?
Alexis: Not yet. But, you know, Carly and Sonny being back together really works to my advantage because she will distract him with any number of catastrophes, which will give me time to come up with one. A plan, that is. I've taken the first step. I've moved out of the -- I'm moving out of the penthouse. I gave him notice.
Ned: Was he receptive? Suspicious?
Alexis: He claims I can't bear to see him with Carly, which is because he believes that every living creature, including all the planets, revolve around him. But that again works to my advantage.
Ned: So you're going to move across town, and you're going to be carrying large briefcases in front of your ever-expanding stomach, and then eight or nine months from now, you're going to just claim that this child just appeared on your doorstep?
Alexis: I hadn't thought of that. But I'm so rattled right now that that actually sounds like a viable option. Before you said that, I was leaning toward fabricating a scenario about another man -- old lover, new lover, whatever lover -- to make him believe that this child is not his. Why does it look like you've swallowed a small hedgehog?
Ned: Well, actually, I have a confession to make. When I asked you to look into this legal matter for l&b, it wasn't for the reasons that I said.
Bobbie: Oh, wet -- oh!
Scott: You got the key?
Bobbie: Yeah, I got the key.
Scott: All right.
Bobbie: Well, okay. So this is where Laura had lunch the day her ring went missing, so maybe it's here somewhere.
Scott: Well, you know, maybe she found it. You know, she just ran off and then the message, you know, wasn't big on any explanation.
Bobbie: Well, no, but she is a grown woman. I mean, Laura's allowed to go wherever she wants to go. She doesn't have to clear it with either one of us.
Scott: I don't know. Bobbie, she presses the panic button, and, you know, and then -- maybe we shouldn't even be worried.
Bobbie: No, because we know Laura went after Luke.
Scott: What else is new?
Bobbie: Hmm. But until I know Laura has her ring back, I intend to keep on looking.
Scott: Hey, Bobbie, what's the big deal with this ring anyway? If your brother bought it, it's probably some cheap pawn shop ring. So go out and get another one.
Bobbie: First of all, it's not that simple. Laura's convinced that the missing ring is a sign. And she thinks that something really awful is going to happen to derail her wedding if the ring isn't found.
Scott: Ugh. Psychics, visions -- you're starting to sound like Lucy.
Scott: Not to mention that crackpot -- what was her name? Cessna?
Bobbie: I guess you have a point. Cressna -- clearly did learn everything she knows about the supernatural from late-night TV commercials.
Scott: However, what about that one little vision of hers?
Bobbie: Oh, you mean the fact that she saw an engagement ring on my finger? How crazy is that, huh?
Scott: What, you think that's crazy, huh?
Bobbie: Yeah, I think that is totally off the wall.
Scott: Totally off the wall, huh?
Bobbie: Come to think of it, I'm not sure Laura was actually at this table when she was eating her lunch.
Mother Superior: Father Timothy, where are you taking this nun? And why did you run from Vespers?
Luke: It was the homily. Mother Superior, my homily. It seems that the Lord has blessed me with a gift -- of clarity of the tongue. And apparently some of the words that I used touched this troubled lamb's heart. I was about to hear her private confession.
Mother Superior: How would that happen? Our nuns adhere to a strict vow of silence.
Luke: Yes, and that is the rub, isn't it? But, you see, when one opens one's heart to the message and the feeling of God, one doesn't need words to know what's in another's heart. It's in the eyes. It's not, as the song says, in her kiss. It is the eyes. The eyes are the window of the soul. So I had hoped to focus in with laser-like clarity to the pain and suffering of this lost lamb. And after that, I was going to tend to the rest of the flock.
Mother Superior: The rest?
Luke: Well, yes -- the three Sisters whose scullery duties kept them from Vespers. Why should they be punished for their diligence?
Mother Superior: You are a truly kind and thoughtful man, Father Timothy.
Luke: I try, Mother Superior. Perhaps you could save me some time and point me in the right direction.
Mother Superior: Oh, of course. The Sisters you seek are in the kitchen, the library, and the chapel.
Luke: Very good. Thank you, Sister.
Mother Superior: And God bless you, Father Timothy.
Luke: Bless you, Mother Superior.
Laura: That was really good.
Luke: Well --
Laura: Yeah. But I'm afraid it lost us a little bit of time. I think we should split up and try to find Helena because if she hears of this eccentric Father Timothy, she might put two and two together.
Luke: You're right. Okay, you take the kitchen; I'll look in the library. We'll meet back in the chapel.
Luke: All right.
Laura: Kitchen's --
Luke: Yes, through there.
Elizabeth: Zander needed a place to stay after he got out of the hospital.
Zander: I didn't feel like running into you over at Jakeís. I didn't think you'd show up here.
Jason: I'd like to speak to you alone.
Zander: Did you not hear me? I'm trying to avoid you, Jason, so why don't you reciprocate and leave?
Elizabeth: Could you give us a minute, please?
Zander: Yeah. Yell if you need anything.
Jason: What's going on?
Elizabeth: You know what? This isn't the time to get into a big discussion about this.
Jason: Zander is more trouble than you need.
Elizabeth: Since when do you go around judging people?
Jason: I'm not. Zander gets to do whatever he wants to do. And so far, that includes working for Sorel and kidnapping my Sister.
Elizabeth: Yeah, and whatever he did that made you beat him up so badly, he wound up in the hospital, okay? I know.
Jason: Are you doing this because you found him?
Elizabeth: No. No, I'm doing this because I want to. And I don't have to explain my reasons to anyone. Including you.
Elizabeth: I am so sick of everyone telling me who I am or what's best for me, like I don't get a vote, like I'm too stupid to figure it out for myself.
Jason: I've never told you what to do.
Elizabeth: Until now. But you know what? I can't really blame you because there must be something that I'm saying or doing. Some dumb, gullible Lizzie vibe that says it's okay to go behind my back and betray me.
Jason: Is this even about Zander, or are you still mad at Lucky and your Sister?
Elizabeth: My life is not about Lucky or Sarah. Wait -- you know what? Zander needs a friend. Why shouldn't I help him?
Jason: Because you saw what happened with Emily. He takes stupid chances and innocent people like you, like Emily, get hurt.
Elizabeth: Wait -- wait a -- where have I heard this before? Oh, that's right, that's what people said about you. You know what? If I had listened to what everyone was saying, you and I wouldn't even know each other. But I didn't. And I won't with Zander, either. So please -- please don't add your voice to the list of people I don't want to hear anymore.
Alexis: If you're going to complicate things right now, please don't.
Ned: No, no, I really need to just get this out, and I think it's -- I owe it to both of us to be honest.
Alexis: See, I -- I disagree. Be honest, if you must, in private because I don't want you to feel obligated to bare your soul now.
Ned: Alexis, it all started -- it all started when Kristina accused me of being overly concerned about you. Now, I thought she was way off track, but she basically flipped out.
Alexis: She's not as well adjusted as she'd like us all to believe.
Ned: Exactly. Which is exactly what Jax told me.
Alexis: You mentioned this to Jax?
Ned: Well, he was married to you, okay? He found Kristina, and I thought he might be able to add perspective since he knows both of you so well. Anyway, I told him that basically Kristina was being insecure. And I thought that he would agree with me. But he didnít. He said that basically Kristina was, you know, picking up on the obvious, which is that my feelings for you went a lot deeper than concern.
Alexis: I don't need to know this.
Ned: He implied that I'm still in love with you.
Alexis: Which, of course you denied.
Ned: Passionately. But -- the thought of it -- I mean, the possibility of it being true -- I mean, it just kind of stuck in my head. And so -- well, it's why -- extraordinary legal talent notwithstanding -- I asked you to take this case. I guess I -- you know, I was trying to, you know, put my feelings to the test. And now I know the truth.
Sonny: So, what do you think means so much to me that you need to be afraid?
Sonny: You're pregnant?
Carly: I went to see Dr. Meadows today for a checkup.
Sonny: Okay. What did she say?
Sonny: Wait -- wait.
Carly: I was worried. I was worried. That's when I went to see Dr. Meadows -- to make sure that everything was okay because -- because of the fall and losing our baby.
Sonny: What'd the doctor say?
Carly: That I'm healthy as a horse.
Sonny: All right.
Carly: All systems are go. I just -- I was going to tell you, and then you told me that our divorce -- that you stopped our divorce, and so, I don't know, I got overwhelmed and I ran away. Am I ever going to just stop running away, Sonny?
Sonny: We'll work on that. Don't worry about it.
Carly: I don't know how to be happy. I donít. I -- it's like it's so foreign to me. I want to be happy, but it's like one -- I don't know, it turns into something else, and I just -- I can't breathe. Everything gets caught in --
Sonny: Listen to me, okay? It's going to be fine. You know why? Because we're going to learn to be happy because we deserve to be. We're going to have it all this time, okay? Maybe even another child.
Carly: Sonny, make love to me, please. Make love to me.
Alexis: You got to listen to me. This road that you're going down is a road that neither of us really wants to go down. I mean, there's no denying that we've had a romantic history and some of it was wonderful and some of it wasn't, but the thing that makes it history is that it was in the past, and some things are just best unrevisited.
Ned: I care about you, Alexis.
Alexis: He's going to say it anyway.
Ned: But that's as far as it goes.
Ned: You are one of my dearest friends, and that's the way I love you -- like a friend. And I realize that I've been sending out mixed signals. I realize that you were, you know, feeling ill and then I found out that you were pregnant. I let my concern for you get all tangled up with my past feelings of love for you and my need to take care of you and -- and I realize that, well, you're right. It's past, and that I'm -- I'm not in love with you anymore. God, it feels really good. No offense.
Alexis: None taken.
Ned: In fact, you're the last person in this world that I'd ever have a relationship with again.
Alexis: Too high-maintenance?
Ned: There you are.
Alexis: All right. I got the point.
Ned: You were scared, weren't you?
Ned: You really thought I was going to just declare my love.
Alexis: Yeah, I did. And then you didnít. Stupid me, again. So are you going to share this revelation with Kristina?
Ned: Yeah, I think that's a good idea. I'll probably tell her next.
Alexis: That's weird -- getting used to you and my sister, but you're good together.
Ned: Come here.
Alexis: Where you and I --
Ned: Just didn't fit.
Alexis: No harm.
Ned: No foul.
Jason: Look, I didn't stop by to give you orders and tell you what to do. And if you feel like you have to have Zander involved in your life knowing he might wreck it, I can't stop you. I just wish you wouldn't. If Lucky wasn't worth it, Zander sure isnít.
Elizabeth: I know you're trying to help, but it's my call to make.
Jason: Were you interested in why I came by?
Elizabeth: Maybe. A little.
Jason: The storm's clearing up. I thought you might want to go for a ride.
Zander: Everything okay out here?
Jason: You coming or not?
Elizabeth: No. No, not tonight.
Zander: Sounds like a pretty direct answer to me.
Jason: So far, you haven't been very bright, have you, Zander? There's two ways you can smarten up right now -- stay out of my face and you do nothing to hurt Elizabeth.
Scott: So, Bobbie, let me ask you something -- do you actually believe this Helena curse, you know, after 20 years, that it's still floating around?
Bobbie: You know, Scott, when Elton said that the Church Laura picked to get married in wasn't going to be available because of a flood, I chalked that up to one of those awful, horrible things that happens when you're trying to plan a wedding. Same with when he said the fabric for the bridesmaids' dresses ended up in Madagascar and when he said the caterer got food poisoning. But when you showed up and said, "Luke and Laura weren't getting married because they couldn't get a marriage license," well, even the biggest skeptic would begin to wonder.
Scott: So, let me just ask you something -- let's just say the ring just magically popped up. Would the curse be broken?
Bobbie: I guess so.
Scott: And whoever found that ring would be, like, a hero from that day on?
Bobbie: You found it!
Bobbie: Oh, Scott! Oh! Wow. Can I see it? Can I?
Scott: Sure. Okay.
Bobbie: I just want to make sure it's really Laura's.
Bobbie: How did you find it?
Scott: Well, you know, deduction. When Laura was here last, she was out there making a fruitcake, so I was, you know, working up an appetite back there and --
Bobbie: Fell in the batter?
Scott: Yes, it did.
Bobbie: The fruitcake?
Scott: And I almost chipped a canine.
Bobbie: I can't wait to tell Laura that we found it -- well, actually, you found it.
Scott: What's the matter? Wrong ring?
Bobbie: No -- oh, no, it's the right ring. The problem is it's -- it's stuck.
Scott: Oh. I'll go get a hacksaw.
Bobbie: I can't -- I can't get it off. Serious.
Scott: Well -- yeah, come on.
Bobbie: I can't get it off.
Scott: Let me give it a little pull. Oh.
Bobbie: Gentle. Be gentle.
Scott: Gentle, gentle, okay.
Bobbie: Be gentle. You're pulling my finger off.
Laura: Oh --
Luke: Well, hallelujah, Sister.
Zander: You know, maybe Jason's not all that wrong.
Elizabeth: About what?
Zander: About me. You know, I mean, I probably shouldn't be here. You know, the last thing I want to do is screw up your life.
Elizabeth: You mean, more than it already is?
Zander: Believe me, I can make it a lot worse.
Elizabeth: You don't scare me, Zander.
Zander: Then you're not quite as smart as you look.
Elizabeth: That, my friend, is entirely possible.
Zander: Ah. You ever feel like the world is going at one speed and you're at a completely different pace?
Elizabeth: Everything's out of sync and you just want it to stop?
Zander: Yeah, just be able to hear yourself think.
Elizabeth: Or breathe.
Zander: Yeah, get back to what you used to think was important.
Elizabeth: Or remember who you were before you started changing and compromising to please somebody else? Hmm.
Zander: Amen to that.
Zander: Ah, jeez.
Elizabeth: You know what? You need to be careful.
Zander: Oh, I just -- I forget. Oh, God. Oh.
Elizabeth: When was the last time you changed that bandage?
Zander: Oh, it's been a couple of hours.
Elizabeth: Hmm. I can do it.
Zander: You wouldn't mind?
Elizabeth: No. No, not at all. Here, take your shirt off. Okay, let me see it. Ooh. Yeah.
Luke: Well, well, well. Look what we found.
Laura: You again. What's it going to take to finally get rid of you, Helena?
Helena: Well, I would think you've already managed to do that quite nicely.
Laura: I want you to understand something -- you can try your best and do your worst, but you will not stop my wedding.
Helena: Oh, don't you think that I know that by now? No, there's no payoff in fighting a losing battle, Laura. I've given up. In fact, I want to wish you both great happiness.
Laura: Oh, please. You can come up with something better than that.
Luke: Now, wait a minute there, darling. Maybe the dragon queen is telling the truth. Maybe she's had a change of heart. Stranger things have happened. Let's just hear her out.
Helena: Thank you, Luke.
Helena: No, you see, I entered the convent to hide out, to -- to regroup. And you know how I adore irony. Everyone in Port Charles seems to have a sister these days, so how could I resist becoming a silent Sister?
Luke: How indeed?
Helena: But, you know, when I finally settled in and started to live day in and day out with people who -- who have focus on something much greater than our petty, all-too-human desires, no, I -- I began to -- to really take my own life apart and I found it sorely lacking. So I turned my back on all my old ways and I am at peace with myself for the very first time.
Laura: Do you want to call the cops or shall I?
Helena: Oh, now, wouldn't it be a shame, just a shame, to disturb the sanctity of this very special place with law enforcement agents? Particularly -- particularly when all legal records -- fingerprints, dental records -- will indicate that the woman known as Helena Cassadine is securely incarcerated at Pentonville Prison. And I -- I am her cousin.
Laura: Yeah, but the switch only works as long as it's not exposed. See, all anyone has to do is compare D.N.A.
Luke: Yes, but, darling, I think we should give her the benefit of the doubt. This is a holy place, a place of conversion.
Luke: I think we should take Helena at her word.
Ned: Finally, I can be fair to Kristina. I mean, I haven't really given us a shot since I didn't really know how or if you and I still fit. But now, I can make her a priority, which is what she deserves.
Alexis: I'm happy for you.
Ned: Thank you.
[Knock on door]
Alexis: Who's that?
Ned: Only one way to find out. What can I do for you?
Mechanic: Your part's installed. Your car's running fine now.
Alexis: Well, who called you?
Mechanic: I don't question, ma'am. I just go where they send me.
Ned: Hmm. Well, who says Good Samaritans are a dying breed?
Mechanic: That'll be $127.95.
Ned: Close enough. We better go. Thank you.
Carly: No matter what it takes, I will give you a child.
Bobbie: Oh. You know --
Bobbie: Drastic measures. Hmm.
[Scott and Bobbie laugh]
Scott: I was just thinking about that nutty psychic.
Bobbie: Who, Cressna?
Scott: Yeah, uh-huh.
Scott: She got one thing right.
Laura: If you think we're going to leave you alone to plan your next evil attack, think again.
Helena: Oh, my child. You don't understand, do you, that you have a suspicious nature which is the sad result of living in the outside world?
Luke: Well, that should just about do it.
Laura: What? We're going to just leave her here?
Luke: Oh, no. God forbid that, uh-uh. Watch.
Helena: What's this?
Mother Superior: Father Timothy has told us the good news.
Helena: Good news?
Mother Superior: Sister Cassadine has volunteered to go and minister to the lonely souls in Antarctica.
Helena: Penguins have souls?
Scott: Ah. Success.
Scott: Let me just --
Luke: So much for silly old curses.
Carly: Yeah, Dr. Meadows, this is Carly Corinthos. Listen, I do not accept your diagnosis because I can't. I need to be able to get pregnant as soon as possible, so you know what? Whatever is wrong, we need to fix it. Just call me with your soonest appointment.
>> On the next "General Hospital" --
Felicia: I'm about to transform your life.
Man: You are flawless.
Lucky: Take another look.
Courtney: I have no idea how I will ever repay you.
Jason: I do.
Skye: You don't know how I feel, but you know what? I can help you out with that.
Jax: Skye -- oh.