GH Transcript Monday 1/10/00


General Hospital Transcript Monday 1/10/00

Provided by Laura

Mac: Maybe you got away with killing robert and his wife, but you're going to pay for killing katherine bell.

Faison: I didn't kill anybody.

Mac: You've been working this system for years, faison.

Now it's my turn.

Faison: You know, charging me with a murder i didn't commit -- or that you know i didn't coit -- is against the law.

Mac: You just don't get it, do you?

Faison: Enjoy your job while you can because it won't last much longer.

Well, soon everybody will know that -- that you are prosecuting me despite a profound conflict of interest.

Mac: Meaning what?

Faison: Your wife.

Mac: Open it.

Luke: Lulu didn't mention to you that we had a date to go ice fishing?

Laura: Not a word. Come in, come in.

Luke: Oh, thanks. Well, she called me herself, and she said, "Dad, would you take me out and show me some of the finer techniques? " Laura: Oh, come on. Did she really say that?

Luke: Yeah, i was amazed at her vocabulary, too.

Laura: Oh, dear. Well, unfortunately, she's upstairs with the sniffles, but she's going to be thrilled just to see you.

Luke: Is she all right?

Laura: Yeah, she's all right. I think she just played out in the snow a little bit too long with lucas. You know, the mother of the year.

Luke: Bobbie was here then, huh?

Laura: Again.

Luke: Hmm. Could that have anything to do with your new border?

Laura: Gee, i wonder.

Luke: How's it working out? Ok?

Laura: Yeah. It's been good for me, you know. It's like the past 20 years never even happened.

Luke: Uh-oh. Is he wearing those polyester leisure suits around the house?

Laura: No.

Luke: No?

Laura: You know what i mean, though.

Luke: Yeah, i know what you mean. It's like suddenly someone you'd given up on is standing right there in front of you.

Laura: Yeah.

Bobbie: Is harassing people in your job description?

Larkin: This doesn't concern you.

Bobbie: Just because you work for the FBI Doesn't --

roy: Bobbie, bobbie, it's over.

Bobbie: You're right. It is over. I'm going to e-mail my congressman. That's john larkin, right?

Larkin: You need my badge number?

Bobbie: Absolutely.

Larkin: Have you heard from jerold jacks?

Bobbie: No.  Have you?

Roy: Enough with the jerold jacks.

Larkin: I have the right to ask.

Bobbie: Not without an attorney present, you don't.

Roy: You want to talk to either one of us in the future, you make an appointment.

Larkin: I don't make appointments with convicts.

Bobbie: That's ex-convict. Roy did his time.

Larkin: Sorry. My mistake.

Roy: Look, don't do that again.

Hannah: Hi, elizabeth.

Elizabeth: Hey.

Hannah: Is it too late for a cup of coffee?

Elizabeth: Actually, i was just about to pour it out.

Hannah: Well, it beats staring at the walls upstairs.

Elabeth: Here you go.

Hannah: Thanks.

Elizabeth: Mm-hmm.

Hannah: Have you ever missed someone so much that it hurts? Like physical pain?

Elizabeth: Yeah.

Hannah: Oh, i'm sorry.

Elizabeth: It's ok. It's ok.

Hannah: I hardly know you. In fact, i hardly know anyone, really.

Elizabeth: Well, aren't you and tammy pretty close?

Hannah: We were.

Elizabeth: Something happen?

Hannah: Yeah, i guess you could say that. She thinks i betrayed sonny.

Elizabeth: Well, did you?

Hannah: Never. No matter what anyone thinks.

Elizabeth: And does that "Anyone" Include sonny?

Hannah: Well, i lied to him, which was pretty bad, but i never stopped loving him.

[carly whistles]

carly: Yo! Listen up, everybody. Glad y'all could make it. Anybody asks, i'm mrs.  A.J. Quartermaine. Hi, hubby. What's shaking? You selling the foreigners on ELQ? Sorry. I wasn't supposed to say that, was i?

Edward: That will be quite enough.

Carly: Chill out, eddie.

A.J.: Grandfather, please. I can handle my wife.

Carly: Thank you, precious.

Monica, why don't you lighten up? And, alan, what's the problem? Let the party begin! Mrs.  A.J. Quartermaine has arrived!

A.J.: Sweetheart, you're late.

Carly: What, for a bunch of phonies and wannabes stuffing their faces? Do you have any idea what those salmon puffs cost us? Two and a quarter each. And the caviar? Forget about it. Eat it up. Pass the bubbly, will you? Carly babes is here. Can they call me that, sweetie? Can they call me carly babes, please, please, please, please?

A.J.: Anything you want.

Carly: Thank you.

A.J.: Did you forget this isn't a costume party?

Carly: No. That's why i didn't wear a disguise, because you said that i should look real. And i think it's a little late to complain, A.J.

Edward: I want her out of here.

Alan: Just let A.J. Handle this himself.

Monica: Why didn't we see this coming?

Carly: You must be the foreigners, right?

Quick -- how do you say "Carly babes"?

L'argent: Carly bebe.

Carly: Ooh.

Mueller: Carly kindlein.

Carly: I could just eat your lips right off your face.

A.J.: Isn't she funny?

Carly: You foreigners, you just make my temperature rise. Can i -- here's to that.

Alan: Why don't we just go over there and drag her out?

Monica: You'd love that, wouldn't you?

Alan: Well, we can't just stand around and let A.J.'S career go down the drain.

Monica: Ok, let's ignore her. Maybe she'll just go away.

Ned: She's pretty hard to ignore.

Monica: Let me put it this way -- let's chat it up or die.

Chloe: I just adore the weather this time of year.

Monica: Oh, yeah, you know, it really --

chloe: It's so lovely.

Alexis: Perfect.

Edward: Yeah, it couldn't be better.

Monica: So mild.

Alan: Especially for winter.

Ned: Oh, definitely, definitely.

Monica: Mm-hmm.

Carly: So, i'll definitely see you guys around, huh? Honey? Thank you. Hey -- who invited you?

Gertrude: Well, i never in my life.

Carly: Oh, you're crashing the party, right.

A.J.: Oh, stop. Come on, honey. You know that gertrude's a member of the family.

Carly: What, you couldn't get a real dress or what?

Gertrude: I don't have to stand here and take this.

Carly: What did i say?

Gertrude: Oh!

Carly: Hey, watch out, boys. Hold on to your wallets.

A.J.: Amanda, perhaps you'd like to join gertrude.

Carly: Amanda, by the way, i wanted to congratulate you because that latest round of liposuction seems to be working out really well, huh?

Amanda: I didn't know she drank.

Carly: Me?

A.J.: Well, we try to keep a lid on it.

Carly: No! I have not had a drop. But how about you, huh? How many has that been? Five?  Seven? Now, tell the truth, and let's include the one you dropped as i came down the stairs.

Amanda: You should be ashamed of yourself.

Carly: And where's your little teacup like you always have at the charity guild? She keeps this dainty little teacup filled with bourbon, right?

[carly laughs]

amanda: I didn't know what you had to put up with.

Carly: And the running joke at the charity guild is "Will amanda barrington be able to stand and be sober by dessert or not? " Not that anybody really cares because you never have anything worthwhile to say.

Edward: That may be all well and good, my dear, but it's time for you to call it a night.

Carly: I will if you will, eddie.

Edward: What --

carly: You want to go upstairs? Come on. I'll never tell.

Lila: Be careful, dear.

A.J.: Grandmother, please do not try to reason with her when she's having one of her spells. Let's go.

Carly: No! You wanted me at this party. Now, i intend to enjoy myself! Where's the champagne? Where the hell is the d. J. , edward? Come on.

[carly hums]

Roy: You have got to stop with this protecting me all the time.

Bobbie: In other words, "Thank you, bobbie. "

Roy: I would thank you if it helped. It doesn't.

Bobbie: Roy, why do you think he keeps hassling you?

Roy: I don't know. I don't know. Maybe he's got nothing better to do.

Bobbie: He knows you work for sonny, doesn't he?

Roy: He knows i haul coffee for sonny. I told him.

Bobbie: Did you also tell him that you asked sonny for a promotion?

Roy: Why the hell would i say that?

Bobbie: Maybe you've already been promoted and you just don't want to tell me about it. Is that it?

Roy: You know what i don't understand about you? Why you insist on asking me questions you don't want to hear the answer to.

Bobbie: Because someone needs to ask. And i dot want to watch you throw your whole life away a second time and look back and wish i had tried to help you.

Roy: Bobbie, bobbie, because i'm not begging you to fix my life doesn't mean i'm not working on it, all right?

Bobbie: Ok.

Roy: I got in deep 20 years ago. I'm almost out.

Bobbie: You are out, roy. Why can't i help you start over?

Roy: It -- it's complicated.

Bobbie: So what is that supposed to mean? Mind my own business?

Roy: It means you can't mind my business right now.

Bobbie: Ok, fine. Whatever you want.

Elizabeth: Well, if you love sonny, then why'd you lie to him?

Hannah: I didn't have much of a choice.

Elizabeth: Well, sure, you did.

Hannah: My job was to get information on him.

elizabeth: What kind of information? Are you saying you're a spy?

Hannah: I didn't know him when i took the job. But as soon as i found out who he was, as soon as i fell in love with him, all i tried to do was save him. And now i miss him so much.

Elizabeth: Why are you telling me this? Why did you come in here and remind me of lucky? Because you're lonely? Because you're a professional sneak? You know, i almost felt sorry for you for, like, half a second. We're closed.

Hannah: Elizabeth, i really didn't mean to --

elizabeth: You think you miss sonny? You don't even know what that means. He's still alive. You can see him whenever you want even though you lied to him and you spied on him. And now you're complaining because you're all alone?

Hannah: I really didn't mean to remind you --

elizabeth: That'll be a dollar.

Elizabeth: Gram.

Audrey: Hello, elizabeth. Oh, darling.

Elizabeth: Thank you for coming all the way down here.

Audrey: Oh, i am so glad you called.

Elizabeth: Sit down. Please, sit down.

Audrey: What do you mean? What's happened?

Elizabeth: Um -- here you go.

Audrey: Well, i'm listening.

Elizabeth: Someone -- someone put a bomb in my studio.

Audrey: What? Oh, my God!

Elizabeth: Gram, it's ok. I'm fine.

Audrey: Well --

Edward: Well, you managed to clear the room.

Carly: I don't know, edward. It still looks pretty full to me.

Edward: Young lady, do you realize that your performance tonight just cost ELQ Millions of dollars?

Carly: Well, it's really not my fault that those jerks wouldn't sign.

A.J.: I may be able to turn them around.

Edward: Oh --

monica: You're thrilled, edward. Why won't you just admit it?

Alan: Don't pick a fight!

Edward: Oh -- you know, you showed real promise as a quartermaine wife.

Carly: Well, i guess A.J. Will just have to muddle through it without me.

Edward: A.J., why did you let this happen?

Alan: It is not A.J.'S fault.

Edward: Is.

Monica: What the hell is wrong with you?

Carly: I told you people i didn't want to go to this party, all right?

Monica: So you pull a stunt like this?

Carly: What's the matter, monica? What, you don't like carly baby?

Alan: All right, i think that A.J. Needs to be alone with his wife.

Carly: Ooh, now i'm really in trouble.

Monica: You picked the wrong fight this time.

Alan: Come on, let's go.

A.J.: Nice work.

Carly: Thank you very much.

A.J.: You knew tonight was the most important night of my life at ELQ

And everything had to be perfect.

Carly: I think it was, actually.

A.J.: I have some calls to make.

Carly: You're leaving?

A.J.: Yeah, and i strongly suggest you don't.

Carly: Whatever.

A.J.: Do you know that you burned your last bridge tonight?

Carly: Do you know why i did it? To get michael out of this house.

A.J.: You aren't going anywhere.

Carly: Well, A.J., you married me for better or for worse. How much worse would you like it to get?

A.J.: You're nowhere near worse. Try to leave. You'll wish you hadn't.

Carly: Tell your pals carly babes says bonjour. Whatever it takes!

Stefan: I got all the way to the launch and i realized i couldn't leave things as they were.

Elizabeth: Here you go.

Audrey: Thank you.

Elizabeth: Jason crashed in and saved me. A friend of his defused the bomb. My studio is a crime scene. The police still won't let me in.

Audrey: So, they found the bomb this afternoon and you went straight to work?

Elizabeth: Actually, they found the bomb new year's eve. I know i should have told you sooner, and i'm really sorry. I'm sorry.

Audrey: Well, have you been living with jason?

Elizabeth: I'm at bobbie's. I made her swear not to tell. She's been after me every second to call you, so please, please don't be mad at her.

Audrey: Oh, well, there's no reason to be now that you're coming home.

Elizabeth: Oh, gram -- i don't want to hurt your feelings. I'm moving back into the studio tomorrow if the police say it's ok.

Audrey: Well, you must be desperate to see jason.

Elizabeth: He doesn't want to be friends anymore. He says that bomb was meant for him.

Audrey: Obviously.

Elizabeth: He says if he stays away from me then i'll be safe.

Audrey: Oh, you are so naive.

Elizabeth: They're after him, not me.

Audrey: If you really believe that --

elizabeth: It's true.

Audrey: Then you're not ready to live on your own.

Elizabeth: I'll be at the brownstone tonight.

Audrey: Elizabeth, please think.

Elizabeth: I'll call you tomorrow.

Audrey: You still ve your key?

Elizabeth: Of course.

Audrey: I'll leave the light on just in case.

Elizabeth: I appreciate that, gram. But i'm not coming back.

Emily: Ahem.

Elizabeth, is juan here?

Elizabeth: I haven't seen him.

Emily: Ok. Here's what i want. I want a chocolate shake, and i want chocolate sprinkles and chocolate ice cream and chocolate syrup -- anything that possibly is chocolate.

Elizabeth: You hitting the rd stuff again, huh?

Emily: Just hurry up.

Elizabeth: What happened?

Emily: I'm a complete idiot.

Sonny: It was quite a show.

Carly: Thank you.

Sonny: Should have sold tickets, made a little cash, you know?

Carly: I made my point.

Sonny: Kissing all over the old man in that getup -- nice touch.

Carly: I thought so.

Sonny: They'd throw you out on the curb with the party trash tonight if they could. But they're never going to give you michael.

Carly: You want to bet?

Sonny: They're rich, little girl. You got nothing.

Carly: I got my son.

Sonny: Oh, you're still using michael, aren't you, to get what you want.

Carly: Who's the one who said stop acting like a victim?

Sonny: Oh, don't drag me into this.

Carly: I'm just saying, i'm michael's mother. I have the advantage, you know? That's what you told me -- even if i am carly babes.

Sonny: You made them mad, that's all.

Carly: I got their attention.

Sonny: I'll give you that.

Carly: Michael's all i have now. And i brought him here. And i'm going to get him out. All i have to do is make my husband crazy, drive the quartermaines bananas, and enjoy the champagne, i guess.

Monica: Why are you still here?

Sonny: Mrs.  Quartermaine, it was a just -- it was a wonderful evening tonight.

Monica: Get out.

Sonny: My pleasure. See you later.

Carly: Good to see you, sonny.

Sonny: Yeah.  Right.

Monica: Now, you pack that, and you get out.

Mac: All right, faison, the a. D. A. 'S here to review your charges. Last chance. All right.

Faison: Oh. You're going to introduce me?

Mac: This is ms. Jensen.

Faison: Mrs. Jensen.

Dara: I understand you have some confusion about your rights regarding the katherine bell murder charge.

Faison: Is that what the commissioner told you?

Dara: I'm here to clear things up.

Faison: Did he mention that he's trying to frame me?

Mac: State your questions, faison.

Faison: Have you noticed his obsession, his rage? Just because of that little incident with his wife, you know? It's really affected his work and his judgment.

Mac: Do you need to hear any more of this?

Dara: If you're not prepared to discuss the charges against you --

faison: Well, you know i'm innocent. You know i'm innocent. You'd much rather go with the case against helena cassadine, right?

Dara: Do you have any specific questions regarding procedure --

faison: And yet you do nothing!

Dara: Ok, wait. One last chance, mr.  Faison. Do you have any questions? What is it that you want to know?

Faison: Yeah. I'd like to -- to hear about the evidence you have against me.

Dara: You have a long-standing relationship with helena cassadine.

Faison: Yeah, that's right, and does that make me guilty?

Mac: It helps.

Faison: Look, i never met katherine bell. Really, i mean, i have no reason to kill her.

Mac: You know, most hit men aren't friends with their victims.

Dara: Helena cassadine sure paid you a lot of money.

Faison: Yeah, that was nice. But to transfer money from one account to another doesn't spell murder, does it?

Dara: You're familiar with wyndemere.

Faison: You bet i am. I used to live there.

Dara: Well, your fingerprints are everywhere.

Faison: Yeah, no surprise. I paid helena cassadine a lot of visits while she was ill.

Dara: Well, the blond wig in your possession matches the hair strands we found in the hallway, and the surveillance camera shows that a blond pushed katherine bell.

Faison: Well, the wig is in your possession, not mine.

Mac: Well, we found it on your property.

Faison: Must have been planted, commissioner.

Mac: Anything else?

Faison: Yeah. Did you place the wig in the evidence room?

Dara: I don't have time for this.

Faison: Mrs.  Jensen -- hello! Listen to me. He's setting me up, and you know it. That's what makes you so sick that you want to leave. I didn't kill her.

Dara: The case is a done deal.

Faison: Meaning that you admit that he's setting me up, right? Is that it? Hey, listen. What if i can provide you with some information that will free you from prosecuting an innocent man and some good information that you would need so desperately, commissioner? How about that? I mean -- listen, listen, listen. We'll all win. Hmm?

Mac: No deal.

Faison: And you, jensen?

Mac: Faison, we have listened to your lies enough.

Faison: I'm sure you would like to hear what i have to say, right? Come on, jensen.

Dara: I would rather see you dropped for successive life terms, mr.  Faison. Now, do you have any more questions?

Faison: Yeah, but that would be private.

Mac: We'll take that as a no. Malloy.

Faison: Yeah, well, i'm sure you'll need my information one day.

Stefan: If this is a bad time, i can come back.

Luke: Don't mind me.

Laura: I'm sorry.

Laura: Luke --

luke: Look at this.

Laura: What are you --

luke: Look, look. Lulu put that worm on the hook all by herself.

Laura: Oh.

Luke: She wanted you to see it.

Laura: Oh, great. Well, tell her mommy's proud.

Luke: I will. Wow. Still have milk in the refrigerator, i guess?

Laura: Yeah, last time i checked.

Luke: Ok.

Stefan: This obviously isn't a good time.

Laura: I guess it's a little hectic.

Stefan: We need to set aside some time to talk.

Laura: I agree.

Stefan: I came back to tell you that i understand why you had to cancel dinner tonight.


laura: Uh --

luke: Sorry!

Laura: Yeah. I'm glad you understand because she is sick, and i just -- i needed to stay in tonight. Everything ok in there?

Luke: I burned my finger. Sweet pea, hang on! Daddy's coming with the milk!

Stefan: Perhaps you should contact me when you're available.

Laura: He just happened to stop in.

Stefan: That's fine.

Laura, i want you to consider what you want in our relationship. Let me know. I'll wait to hear from you.

Luke: She wants her mommy now.

Laura: Oh, thanks.

Luke: The count didn't stay?

Laura: I wonder why.

Luke: Yeah, me, too.

Laura: Finger ok?

Luke: I was faking.

Luke: It's that time of the day. I got to get back and fire claude.

Laura: Thanks for stopping by.

Luke: Yeah. Tell lulu that daddy's ready to ice fish whenever she is.

Laura: I will.

Elizabeth: Ok, chocolate shake, chocolate chaser, chocolate sprinkles, and everything else.

Emily: Thank you.

Elizabeth: This is the part where you're supposed to drink up. Here.

Emily: I don't deserve this milk shake.

Elizabeth: Your parents pulled a stunt?

Emily: Not even the sprinkles.

Elizabeth: Juan's father showed up again?

Emily: I don't even deserve to live in this world.

Elizabeth: Oh. You and juan had a fight.

Emily: So, you know how juan has a really good voice, right?

Elizabeth: Mm-hmm.

Emily: So what do i do? I tell ned that i have discovered l&b's next big thing. And then i basically trick juan into singing for ned.

Elizabeth: Why?

Emily: Because i'm a complete, complete, complete idiot. He said that he never wanted to sing in front of anyone. He never even wanted to be a singer. So when you left, i made ned hide and listen to him.

Elizabeth: Ned hid at l&b?

Emily: Yeah, we do it all the time. It's, like, a quartermaine thing. So anyway, juan was really, really good, right? Except he was kind of, you know, kidding around, and he wasn't being very professional. I mean, why should he?

Elizabeth: Right. You sure didn't except the president of the company to be eavesdropping.

Emily: Yeah, exactly. So then the phone rings and ned comes out, and i'm busted.

Elizabeth: Uh-oh. That's not very nice.

Emily: And to make things even worse, ned treated it like it was an audition. I mean, he said that juan was good but he needed to work on things and he had an ok voice but it wasn't great. And then juan turned around and he looked at me like "How could you? " And then he said something about i only wanted a boyfriend who was a good singer, and he walked out and that was it, and now i'm here by myself.

Elizabeth: Whoa.

[emily sighs]

emily: I don't even deserve oxygen. He's probably on his way to puerto rico with some pretty new girlfriend who hates music.

Elizabeth: Well, either that or he's realizing that you were only trying to help.

Emily: In the most messed-up way possible.

Elizabeth: What, juan never messes up? Come on.  He's mad. He'll get over it. He'll be back.

Emily: Yeah, and by that time i'll be fat and ugly with zits.

[elizabeth laughs]

emily: This is good.

Elizabeth: Thanks. Look, you still have a chance if juan's really angry, you know? Because it's not like he sat you down and he was really kind and cool and reasonable and he explained how the whole friendship was over.

Emily: Oh, God. Jason.

Elizabeth: I couldn't believe it.

Emily: He thinks you're in danger, doesn't he?

Elizabeth: How can i get him to change his mind?

Emily: You can't.

Elizabeth: So what if i hang out with him? I mean, who cares if we go on a couple motorcycle rides together? I mean, what's the big deal?

Emily: Here.  Try this. There's still some left.

Elizabeth: Did it help?

Emily: Tons. Look, you know that jason is doing this because he cares about you, right?

Elizabeth: Yeah, but how messed up is that?

Emily: elizabeth, i have to give you a warning about jason. When he makes decisions like this, he never goes back on them. I mean, he loved michael more than anybody in the entire world, and he still hasn't seen him since the summer. Oh, my God. What if juan comes in here and he thinks that i'm, like, waiting for him or something?

Elizabeth: He could be on his way over right now.

Emily: Oh, ok. I'm going to go. Good luck with jason, and call me if you need anything, ok?

Elizabeth: Deal.

Emily: I was never here.

Elizabeth: Oh, right, right.

Nikolas: Is that empty?

Elizabeth: It's half-full.

Nikolas: You're not going to throw it at me, are you?

Elizabeth: Are you going to start in on jason?

Nikolas: Ahem.

[door closes loudly]

ned: Shh.

Chloe: Why didn't we just go through the front door?

Ned: We have the advantage after tonight. I just need to find out how much.

Chloe: But why do we --

ned: Think like a quartermaine.

Monica: From this moment, you are on your own.

Carly: Well, you can keep this because all i need is michael.

Monica: You are not taking my grandson anywhere.

Carly: Oh, yeah?

Monica: He was your only bargaining chip, and you threw him away tonight, carly babes.

Carly: Let me tell you something, monica. Michael is not going to grow up in this house.

Monica: A.J. Only married you to get michael. Why would he give him back?

Carly: Because i'm his mother.

Monica: I am not going to stand by and watch you destroy the only son i have left.

Carly: Well, then you better look the other way.

Nikolas: So you back in your studio?

Elizabeth: Tomorrow. And i'm crazy. I'm going to blow up in a million pieces, right?

Nikolas: You need some help moving in?

Elizabeth: I'll let you know. Thanks.

Nikolas: You know, i'm not the enemy.

Elizabeth: I know that.

Nikolas: Ok, so i will -- i'll see you around.

Elizabeth: You know where i live.

Nikolas: Right. I'll see you.

[knock on door]

hannah: Hi, jason. Would you please listen to me? Hey, hey -- FBI Here to search the apartment.

Jason: Not without a warrant.

Hannah: You want me to arrange it with the cops? I can get them down here in about an hour.

Jason: Ok, come in. Tell me what you want and get out.

Hannah: Would you please make sonny believe that i love him?

Ned: Can i pour you something stronger?

Monica: Isn't anyone going to actually leave this party?

Chloe: Well, we did for a little while.

Ned: We've been eavesdropping.

Monica: I don't need this.

Ned: A.J.'S got big trouble with this wife of his.

Monica: Is he always so observant?

Chloe: It must have been an awful evening for you, monica.

Ned: It almost looked like carly wants grandfather to fire him.

Monica: If you put carly up to that stunt --

ned: Of course i didn't. But i can make it better.

Monica: Yes, you can. You can leave.

Ned: And listen -- what if i made sure that A.J. Keeps his job? What if i agree to turn down ELQ When grandfather offers it to me, which, of course, you know he will.

Monica: Does this involve murdering carly?

Ned: Not necessarily.

Chloe: No, this plan involves no violence whatsoever.

Monica: What -- a plan?

Ned: I can make it go away.

Monica: In return for?

Ned: All you have to do is divorce alan.

Felicia: God. I thought you'd never get here.

Luke: What's up? What happened?

Mac: Rise and shine, faison. Ready for a little ride to pentonville? Next stop, maximum security. Come on, faison. Get out of bed. Faison -- no! Come on!  Let's go.

[alarm sounds]

helena: Is everything taken care of?

Man: Young master spencer is in place, cesar faison's on his way.

Helena: If only dear cesar could live long enough to enjoy his freedom.

Felicia: This came in the mail.

Felicia: What if faison shows mac?

Jason: Time's up. Get out.

Hannah: Jason, he listens to you.

Jason: You lied to him.

Hannah: I didn't mean to hurt him. I really love him, and i just want him to ow that.

Jason: Here's what sonny knows -- you don't matter, not after what you did.

Sonny: Jason? I --

Monica: Let me get this straight. You want me to divorce alan.

Ned: That's correct.

Monica: So he can marry gertrude?

Ned: Would you like that drink now?

Monica: Yes.

Ned: Let's face it, monica. You and alan have had your moments. I think he's tried to kill you on more than one occasion.

Monica: He's not good at it. Well -- thank you. Why gertrude?

Chloe: Well, they wouldn't have to stay married for very long.

Ned: Technically, only for a minute or two.

Chloe: Yeah, as soon as she says "I do," She loses all claim to my company.

Ned: And in return, i will stay away from ELQ. Grandfather will just have to suck it up and live with it.

Monica: Well, that would be after his heart attack.

Ned: You see, you and i have always been on the same wavelength.

Chloe: Ok, i know this sounds a little far-fetched --

monica: Oh, no, no, not just far-fetched. It sounds insane.

Ned: Let's face it. You and alan have been long overdue for a breakup.

Monica: Well, that's true.

Ned: And think about how much fun it would be to get back together again. A little romance. The remarriage of the century. And all the while knowing that junior has his job set in stone.

Alan: Hi.

Alan: You didn't. How could you possibly imagine me married to gertrude?

Monica: It could work.

A.J.: Thought you'd be resting after the night you just had.

Carly: I wouldn't worry about it if i were you.

A.J.: I called a psychiatrist. You have an appointment first thing.

Carly: Nice try.

A.J.: He's sending over tranquilizers sometime tonight, you know, with the emergency and all that.

Carly: Like i'm really going to start taking drugs, A.J.

A.J.: So many people observed your bizarre behavior tonight.

You know, i do hate to add pressure to you, sweetheart, but if you were to refuse treatment, how could i possibly let you near my son?

>> On the next "General Hospital" --

Carly: The only way you're going to get rid of me is to divorce my little butt.

A.J.: That will never happen.

Sonny: Who do you think told me you were a fed in the first place?

Mac: Faison's escaped.

Dara: How?

Felicia: I have to tell mac the truth.

Faison: I still have unfinished business.

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