GH Transcript Thursday 4/1/99

 

General Hospital Transcript Thursday 4/1/99

Provided by Laura

ALEXIS: NIKOLAS WANTS
THE ESTATE DIVIDED FAIRLY.
JAX: DO YOU THINK YOU CAN
PERSUADE HIM TO SIGN THAT
RELEASE?
LAURA: I'M JUST HERE TO SEE
AUDREY ABOUT GETTING A JOB.
TAMMY: YOU DON'T BELIEVE
TONY'S CHANGED?
BOBBIE: I CAN'T TAKE A CHANCE
WITH MY SON.
TONY: YOU TOLD THE JUDGE THAT
JASON HAS SOME KIND
OF DIMINISHED MENTAL CAPACITY?
LET ME THINK ABOUT IT.
JASON: YOU DON'T NEED TO TAKE
A.J. DOWN.
JUST WALK AWAY.
CARLY: THAT'S NOT WHAT
I WANT.

LAURA: AUDREY?
AUDREY: OH.
LAURA. GOOD.
YOU GOT MY MESSAGE.
LAURA: YES, I DID, AND I WAS
OUT AND ABOUT, AND I THOUGHT I'D
JUST STOP BY INSTEAD OF CALLING.
PEOPLE LOOKING FOR JOBS STILL DO
THAT?
AUDREY: WELL, I DOUBT THAT
YOU'LL STILL BE LOOKING
FOR A JOB.
BOBBIE: TONY, GOT A MINUTE?
TONY: UM -- OK.
BOBBIE: I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT
WANT TO KNOW THAT LUCAS WENT
TO BASEBALL TRYOUTS YESTERDAY.
TONY: HOW'D HE DO?
BOBBIE: HE HIT A HOME RUN.
TONY: AT THE TRYOUTS?
BOBBIE: WELL, I THOUGHT
FOR SURE THEY'D PUT HIM
IN THE MINOR LEAGUE, YOU KNOW,
BECAUSE IT'S JUST HIS FIRST
YEAR, BUT INSTEAD HE SHOWED ME.
HE MADE THE MAJORS.
TONY: A HOME RUN?
BOBBIE: YEAH.
WELL, HE'S WALKING ON AIR.
YOU SHOULD SEE HIM.
TONY: WHY ARE YOU TELLING
ME THIS?
BOBBIE: I THOUGHT YOU WOULD
WANT TO KNOW.
TONY: THANK YOU.
BOBBIE: OH.
HI.
NOTHING'S WRONG WITH MICHAEL,
I HOPE.
CARLY: NO.
ACTUALLY, I'M JUST
WAITING FOR A.J., WHO'S WAITING
FOR TONY IN HIS OFFICE WHILE
TONY'S ANYWHERE BUT.
BOBBIE: TONY?
CARLY: A.J. THINKS HE CAN
HELP WITH THE CUSTODY TRIAL.
IT'S NOT MY IDEA.
BOBBIE: OH, I SEE.
SO YOU'RE JUST PLACIDLY WAITING
AROUND WHILE A.J. MAKES BATTLE
PLANS TO GO UP AGAINST JASON
IN COURT?
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?
FELICIA: HI.
LUKE: HELLO.
FELICIA: WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE MONKEYS OUT FRONT?
LUKE: I FREED THEM BACK
INTO THE WILD.
FELICIA: OH.
LUKE: SO WHAT IS
THE COMMISSIONER'S WIFE DOING
IN MY LOWLY JUNGLE?
FELICIA: MEETING
THE COMMISSIONER FOR A LOWLY
DINNER.
BESIDES, YOUR EX-SHOE WANTED
TO PAY A VISIT.
LUKE: YOU'RE WEARING IT?
BOTH OF THEM?
FELICIA: IT'S EASIER
THAT WAY.
LUKE: OH, YEAH, BABY.
OH, THAT LOOKS A LOT BETTER
ON YOUR FOOT THAN IT DID UP
THERE.
FELICIA: DIDN'T I TELL YOU IT
WOULD?
I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU FOR YEARS.
LUKE: HAVE YOU ALWAYS HAD
THESE LEGS?
FELICIA: LUKE --
Put it down.
LUKE: HUH?
FELICIA: Put it down.
LUKE: OK.
LUCKY: I CAN PICK UP
THE SMELL OF ELI'S RIBS
FROM MILES AWAY.
WOW.
WHAT'S THE OCCASION?
ELIZABETH: HAPPY
APRIL FOOLS' DAY.
JAX: I'LL NEED YOU TO HIRE ME
A PRIVATE JET.
NO, MYSELF AND ONE PASSENGER.
WE'LL BE USING ALIASES.
IT'S IMPERATIVE THAT THERE IS
NO WAY YOU CAN TRACE THIS TRIP.
MY LIFE AND MY PARTNER'S MAY
DEPEND ON IT.
ALEXIS: I WOULD'VE CALLED
FIRST, BUT I WAS AFRAID YOU'D
SIC THE GUARD DOGS ON ME.
NIKOLAS: I DON'T HAVE
GUARD DOGS.
ALEXIS: MAY I COME IN?
IT'S IMPORTANT, NIKOLAS.
OTHERWISE, I WOULDN'T RISE
YOU SLAMMING THE DOOR
IN MY FACE.
NIKOLAS: COME IN, COME IN.
ALEXIS: THANK YOU.
NIKOLAS,
YOU SAY THAT YOU THINK THE BEST
WAY TO A RESOLUTION
TO OUR FAMILY CRISIS IS
FOR YOU AND YOUR FATHER AND ME
TO STAND TOGETHEAGAINST
HELENA.
NIKOLAS: YES, I DO.
ALEXIS: ALL RIGHT, THEN.
PROVE IT.
WHEN IT'S TIME TO CLEAN
YOUR OUTSIDE WINDOWS,
DOES THE JOB SEEM...
THIS BIG ?
NEXT TIME, TRY WINDEX OUTDOOR.
JUST AIM, SPRAY AND RINSE.
WINDEX OUTDOOR'S CONCENTRATED
FORMULA AND SHEETING ACTION...
DISSOLVE TOUGH OUTDOOR GRIME
TO GET WINDOWS CLEAN.
NO BUCKETS. NO LADDERS.
NO AGGRAVATION.
BRING A BIG JOB DOWN TO SIZE
WITH WINDEX OUTDOOR.
FROM
S.C. JOHNSON WAX.
IT'S ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY.
I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE
ONE OF THOSE DAYS
YOU NEVER WANT TO LOSE
TO SEASONAL ALLERGIES.
AND DON'T IT FEEL GOOD
TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR
ABOUT CLARITIN.
JUST ONE CLARITIN
TABLET DAILY...
BRINGS YOU 24 HOURS
OF NON-DROWSY RELIEF...
FROM SEASONAL ALLERGY SYMPTOMS.
CLARITIN HAS A LOW OCCURRENCE
OF SIDE EFFECTS,
SUCH AS HEADACHE, DROWSINESS,
FATIGUE AND DRY MOUTH.
I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE
DON'T LOSE A SINGLE DAY.
TAKE CLEAR CONTROL.
TAKE CLARITIN.
AND DON'T IT FEEL GOOD, HEY
I HAVE THREE KIDS.
I DON'T HAVE A MINUTE
TO EAT RIGHT. I GAINED WEIGHT.
INTRODUCING A NEW DELICIOUS WAY
TO LOSE WEIGHT FROM SLIM-FAST.
NEW MEAL-ON-THE-GO BARS.
IT'S PERFECT FOR MY LIFE.
THEY'RE FANTASTIC.
THE PEANUT BUTTER'S
INCREDIBLE.
I LOST 14 POUNDS
ON THE SLIM-FAST PLAN.
JUST GRAB A BAR.
IT'S LUNCH.
22 VITAMINS AND MINERALS.
HIGH IN CALCIUM.
A WELL-BALANCED MEAL
IN FOUR FANTASTIC FLAVORS.
I FEEL GREAT. I REALLY FEEL
LIKE I HAVE CONTROL.
NEW SLIM-FAST
MEAL-ON-THE-GO BARS.
EVERY DAY:
THE BARS ARE A GREAT IDEA.
I'M ON AN ALL-NIGHT FLIGHT
WHEN SUDDENLY...
TERRIBLE HEARTBURN.
THE GUY IN THE NEXT SEAT
SAYS, "HERE, TRY THIS--
ZANTAC 75."
"THANKS," I SAY.
"YOU KNOW, MAYBE I OUGHT TO SEE
A DOCTOR ABOUT THIS HEARTBURN."
HE SAYS...
"YOU JUST DID."
THE MEDICINE
IN ZANTAC 75
IS THE NUMBER ONE
DOCTOR-PRESCRIBED
ACID REDUCER.
IT RELIEVES EVEN YOUR TOUGHEST
HEARTBURN
CONTROLLING ACID
FOR UP TO 12 HOURS.
THANKS, DOCTOR
WHEREVER YOU ARE.
ZANTAC 75 FOR TOUGH HEARTBURN.
NIKOLAS: WHAT'S THIS?
ALEXIS: IT'S A REQUEST
FOR MEDICAL INFORMATION --
YOURS -- FROM A CLINIC IN GENEVA
WHEN YOU BECAME A BONE MARROW
DONOR FOR YOUR SISTER.
NIKOLAS: WHY WOULD I WANT
INFORMATION FROM THEM?
ALEXIS: THEY PROBABLY
REQUESTED YOUR ENTIRE MEDICAL
HISTORY -- THAT'S VACCINATIONS,
CHILDHOOD ILLNESSES, AND SO ON.
IT WAS AN EMERGENCY SITUATION.
DR. LASTIRIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAD
MUCH TIME TO COMPLY, AND I'M
HOPING THAT HE FORGOT TO REMOVE
SOMETHING THAT I WOULD VERY MUCH
LIKE TO SEE.
NIKOLAS: HELENA,
FOR INSTANCE.
ALEXIS: IF I CAN SHOW THAT
SHE KNEW STAVROS WASN'T
YOUR FATHER ALL ALONG, THEN IT
WILL PROVE THAT SHE KNOWINGLY
DEFRAUDED THE ENTIRE FAMILY.
NIKOLAS: WOULD THAT SURPRISE
ANYBODY?
ALEXIS: OF COURSE IT
WOULDN'T, BUT THAT'S NOT
THE POINT.
THE POINT IS IS IT WOULD
DISQUALIFY HER AS EXECUTOR
OF THE ASSETS HELD IN TRUST.
NIKOLAS: OH, I SEE.
AND THAT WOULD DISQUALIFY
MY FATHER FOR THE SAME REASONS,
RIGHT?
AND THE ONLY ONE YOU'LL TRUST
TO HOLD THE CASSADINE PURSE
STRINGS IS -- YOU?
ALEXIS: I'LL PUSH
FOR A NEUTRAL THIRD PARTY TO BE
APPOINTED.
NIKOLAS: BY WHAT STRETCH
OF THE IMAGINATION DO YOU CALL
THAT STANDING TOGETHER AGAINST
HELENA?
ALEXIS: I'M NOT TRYING
TO UNDERMINE YOU OR YOUR FATHER.
NIKOLAS: HOW DO I KNOW THAT?
HUH?
WHY SHOULD I TRUST ANYTHING
YOU SAY?
AUDREY: THE BOARD THINKS THAT
YOU ARE EXACTLY WHAT
THE OUTREACH PROGRAM NEEDS.
LAURA: REALLY?
AUDREY: MM-HMM.
LAURA: AN UNEMPLOYED
HOUSEWIFE?
AUDREY: NO, NO.
BUT BEING THE MOTHER OF TEENAGE
BOYS COULD BE CONSIDERED PRIOR
TRAINING.
LAURA: THAT'S GREAT.
THAT'S WONDERFUL.
I CAN MEET WITH THE BOARD
TOMORROW.
I MEAN, NOT THAT I'M IN A HURRY
OR ANYTHING.
AUDREY: I'LL CERTAINLY RELAY
THE MESSAGE AND GET BACK TO YOU.
LAURA: OK.
AUDREY: AND I THINK IT'S SAFE
TO SAY CONGRATULATIONS.
LAURA: OH, THANK YOU, AUDREY.
THANK YOU SO MUCH --
AUDREY: OH, YOU'RE
SO WELCOME.
LAURA: FOR EVERYTHING.
CALL ME.
AUDREY: MM-HMM.
CARLY: JUST EXCUSE ME,
I MEAN, IF I CAN'T KEEP UP
WITH YOUR EVER-CHANGING MORAL
STANDARDS, BUT SINCE YOU'RE
THE ONE WHO LECTURED ME ABOUT
LYING TO EVERYBODY,
ESPECIALLY A.J., I'D THINK THAT
YOU WOULD BE SUPPORTIVE OF ME
TRYING TO MAKE IT UP TO HIM.
BOBBIE: NUMBER ONE,
THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
AND NUMBER TWO, YOU DON'T GIVE
A HOOT WHAT I APPROVE OF.
WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?
CARLY: YOU KNOW,
A.J. HAPPENS TO BE A VERY FINE
PERSON.
BOBBIE: SO?
AM I MALIGNING HIM?
CARLY: HE'S ALSO VERY
FORGIVING --
SO MUCH MORE SO THAN SOME PEOPLE
I KNOW.
THINK THE LEAST HE DESERVES IS
MY SUPPORT WHEN HE ASKS FOR IT.
BOBBIE: AND YOU THINK
THE LEAST YOU DESERVE IS TO BE
SUPPORTED FOR THE REST
OF YOUR LIFE.
ALL OF THOSE ANTIQUES AND ALL
OF THAT STERLING SILVER REALLY
BRING OUT A.J.'S FINER
QUALITIES, DON'T THEY?
CARLY: I DON'T BELIEVE YOU,
BOBBIE.
WHAT, NOW I'VE SOLD OUT
TO THE QUARTERMAINES?
I LET THEM HAVE MICHAEL
FOR A PRICE?
IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?
BOBBIE: NO, BECAUSE
IF I REALLY BELIEVED THAT,
I WOULDN'T BE WASTING MY BREATH.
OH.
CARLY, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT
YOU'RE DOING BECAUSE THERE WAS
A TIME WHEN I DID ALMOST EXACTLY
THE SAME THING WITH STEFAN
CASSADINE.
I KNEW LOVE WAS NOT
IN THE CARDS, BUT WHERE HAD LOVE
EVER GOTTEN ME, ANYWAY?
AND I KNEW THAT STEFAN COULD
MAKE MY LIFE COMFORTABLE
AND SAFE.
AND I TOLD MYSELF, "WELL,
AT LEAST HE'LL BE GOOD TO ME."
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
THE WHOLE THING WAS A TOTAL
DISASTER.
AND YOU KNOW WHO ENDED UP
GETTING HURT THE MOST?
LUCAS.
BECAUSE HE'S A CHILD,
AND A CHILD DOESN'T KNOW HOW NOT
TO LOVE AND RELY ON HIS NEW
FAMILY.
CARLY: IS IT JUST
SO INCONCEIVABLE TO YOU THAT
I MIGHT ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT
THE BEST THING FOR MY SON IS
AND BE DOING IT?
MICHAEL BELONGS WITH HIS FATHER
AND ME.
AND THAT'S HOW HE'S GOING TO BE
RAISED.
ELIZABETH: THIS IS OUR FIRST
APRIL FOOLS' DAY AS A COUPLE,
RIGHT?
LUCKY: RIGHT.
ELIZABETH: AND WE'RE MAKING
UP OUR OWN TRADITIONS,
LIKE WE DID FOR VALENTINE'S DAY,
AS WE GO ALONG, RIGHT?
LUCKY: RIGHT.
ELIZABETH: SO WHO NEEDS
A TRADITION OF MAKING A FOOL
OF SOMEONE?
LUCKY: I WASN'T EVEN REMOTELY
TEMPTED.
ELIZABETH: OR MAKING A JOKE
AT EACH OTHER'S EXPENSE?
LUCKY: THERE'S A STORY
CONNECTED TO THIS, HUH?
ELIZABETH: WELL, I GUESS I'VE
ALWAYS BEEN PRETTY GULLIBLE.
I MEAN, IF YOU SET YOUR MIND
TO IT, IT WASN'T HARD PLAYING
A TRICK ON ME -- NOT
BECAUSE I WAS STUPID,
BUT BECAUSE I JUST SIMPLY WASN'T
PAYING ATTENTION.
I MEAN, WHO TUMBLES OUT OF BED
AND LOOKS AT THE CALENDAR?
OR WHO GETS ALL EXCITED WAITING
FOR APRIL 1 TO ROLL AROUND?
CERTAINLY NOT ME.
BUT SOME PEOPLE MUST,
AND THEY WOULD AMBUSH ME EVERY
YEAR, AND ENJOY DOING IT SO MUCH
THEY'D KEEP IT UP FOR THE NEXT
COUPLE WEEKS UNTIL I WAS JUMPING
AT MY OWN SHADOW.
LUCKY: HOW COME I NEVER KNEW
THIS ABOUT YOU?
I MEAN, WHEN WE'RE 85
IN A NURSING HOME, COULD
YOU ARRANGE TO STILL BE TELLING
ME THINGS I NEVER KNEW
ABOUT YOU?
ELIZABETH: I'LL TRY AND PACE
MYSELF.
LUCKY: YEAH?
ELIZABETH: MM-HMM.
SO ANYWAY, I WAS THINKING
IF I WAS GOING TO BE A FOOL,
I'D RATHER BE A FOOL FOR LOVE.
LUCKY: OH.
AND EAT RIBS FROM ELI'S.
ELIZABETH: AND EAT RIBS
FROM ELI'S.
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT
OUR FIRST ANNUAL
APRIL FOOLS' DAY TRADITION?
LUCKY: IT'S PERFECT.
ELIZABETH: GOOD.
LUKE: THERE YOU GO.
LUKE: THERE YOU GO.
FELICIA: I'D FORGOTTEN HOW
MUCH I ENJOY THIS.
LUKE: WELL, COME IN MORE THAN
TWICE A YEAR AND IT'LL JOG
YOUR MEMORY.
FELICIA: WHAT REALLY HAPPENED
TO THOSE MONKEYS OUTSIDE?
MORENO?
LUKE: WELL, I'M NOT SAYING IT
WAS, AND I'M NOT SAYING IT
WASN'T.
I'M JUST SAYING THAT I'M PLEASED
THAT THIS TIME NOBODY HAD TO GO
TO THE HOSPITAL.
FELICIA: HMM.
I KNOW THAT SONNY AND JASON HAVE
THEIR GOOD POINTS, BUT HAVE
YOU EVER CONSIDERED WHAT
A CHANGE IN PARTNER MIGHT SAVE
YOU IN REMODELING COSTS ALONE?
LUKE: WELL, YOU KNOW HOW
IT IS.
YOU PICK UP STRAYS, YOU FEED
THEM, YOU SPAY THEM.
PRETTY SOON YOU'RE ATTACHED.
FELICIA: OH.
IT'S THE RUSH, ISN'T IT?
YOU LIKE HAVING A CLUB THAT
COULD BE RIDDLED WITH BULLETS
AT ANY MOMENT.
LUKE: SO WHAT ARE YOU SAYING,
THAT BEING A MEMOIRIST
FOR THE RICH AND FAMOUS IS
SAFER?
FELICIA: LILA QUARTERMAINE IS
A VERY STRONG-WILLED WOMAN,
BUT I HAVE NEVER SEEN HER PULL
OUT BRASS KNUCKLES.
LUKE: NO, BUT EVERYBODY ELSE
IN THE HOUSE SLEEPS WITH THEM
UNDER THEIR PILLOW.
AND WHAT ABOUT EDWARD?
DIDN'T YOU TELL ME HE WAS
ALREADY SORT OF
SNIFFING AROUND YOUR INTERVIEW
WITH THE OLD LADY?
FELICIA: WELL, HE'S VERY
DEVOTED.
HE DOESN'T WANT ME TO TIRE
LILA OUT.
LUKE: DEVOTED?
HE'S DEVOTED TO HIS BANK ACCOUNT
AND HIS REAL-ESTATE HOLDINGS.
AND MAYBE WHAT HE'S
SO INTERESTED IN IS MAKING SURE
YOU DON'T UNCOVER ANYTHING.
HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THAT?
- [ Doorbell Rings ]
- WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
OKAY, LET ME
GET THIS STRAIGHT.
YOU JUST MOVED IN.
MM-HMM.
- YOU'VE GOT TWO KIDS.
- UH-HUH.
YOU START A NEW JOB
ON MONDAY.
MM-HMM.
AND YOU BAKED
A HOMEMADE CHEESECAKE ?
MMM--
LOVE THE CHEESECAKE.
YOU I HATE.
[ Laughing ]
SWEET AND CREAMY
JELL-O NO BAKE CHEESECAKE.
WATCH OUT, CHOCOLATE BUNNIES.
YOU MAY BE REPLACED.
JELL-O NO BAKE
CHOCOLATE CHEESECAKES.
NOW JUST FOR EASTER.
YOU CAN'T BLAME 'EM.
THEY TRY.
BUT WHAT DOES A GUY KNOW
ABOUT A PERIOD ?
HE SAYS, "TAKE TYLENOL."
IT'S NOT ENOUGH.
I NEED MIDOL.
FOR THE CRAMPS, HEADACHE,
MAJOR-LEAGUE BLOATING,
MIDOL'S JUST AS STRONG
ON PAIN,
BUT IT DOES MORE
THAN ADVIL OR TYLENOL...
BECAUSE IT'S GOT SOMETHING EXTRA
TO FIGHT BLOATING
AND FATIGUE TOO.
I WIN.
MUST BE THE RENTED SHOES.
@ AAA?x|qx
THERE ARE 7 MILLION KIDS
IN THIS COUNTRY...
WHO WET THE BED.
OFTEN BECAUSE THEIR BLADDERS
HAVEN'T GROWN...
AS QUICKLY AS THE REST
OF THEIR BODIES.
ONE PRODUCT CAN HELP--
THAT PROTECTS, YET LOOKS
AND FEELS LIKE REAL UNDERWEAR.
IT'S HELPING A LOT OF KIDS
FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES.
GOODNITES MEAN GOOD MORNINGS.
SUFFERING FROM ALLERGIES..&
IS NEVER TO START.
THIS IS NASALCROM.
YOU HEARD RIGHT.
IT'S ALLERGY PREVENTION.
NASALCROM DOESN'T JUST
RELIEVE ALLERGIES.
IT FLAT OUT PREVENTS THEM...
PREVENTING THE NATURAL DEFENSES
IN YOUR NOSE FROM
GOING HAYWIRE...
SO YOU CAN LIVE LIKE A PERSON
WITH NO ALLERGIES.
NASALCROM'S LIKE NOTHING ELSE...
NO DROWSINESS, NO JITTERS,
NO REBOUND CONGESTION.
NASALCROM.
THE BEST WAY TO
STOP SUFFERING...
IS NEVER TO START.
FELICIA: WELL, I'M NOT SAYING
YOU'RE RIGHT, THOUGH,
BUT IF EDWARD WERE LYING ABOUT
SOMETHING --
LUKE: WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
"IF," "IF," "IF"?
IS THERE ANY DOUBT?
THE MAN LIES, HE CHEATS,
HE STEALS -- NONE OF WHICH
I HOLD AGAINST HIM, BUT HE HAS
BEEN NOTORIOUSLY UNFAITHFUL
TO THAT LOVELY WOMAN.
FELICIA: BUT THE THINGS THAT
LILA'S BEEN TELLING ME HAPPENED
OVER 50 YEARS AGO.
THEY WEREN'T EVEN MARRIED YET.
LUKE: YEAH, BEFORE HE HAD
HER TO ANSWER TO.
FELICIA: WELL, HOW WOULD
SHE KNOW WHAT HE WAS UP TO?
BESIDES, I THINK SHE WOULD TELL
ANYTHING.
SHE WOULD EVEN SAY THINGS THAT
WOULD EMBARRASS HIM.
LUKE: WHAT IF THEY
EMBARRASSED HER?
LIKE --
OH, SAY,
WHAT IF HE BLACKMAILED
HER INTO MARRYING HIM?
FELICIA: HOW?
LUKE: NUDE PICTURES.
FELICIA: NUDIES? OF LILA?
LUKE: OH, YEAH, SHE WAS
REALLY A DISH.
I'M SURE MORE THAN ONE MAN
WANTED TO SNAP HER PHOTO.
AND AFTER 50 YEARS WITH EDWARD
QUARTERMAINE, SHE DOESN'T NEED
A BIOGRAPHER.
SHE NEEDS A SUPPORT GROUP.
FELICIA: I JUST THINK
THE 1940s WOULD BE A GREAT TIME
TO BE ALIVE.
LUKE: YEAH.
EXCEPT FOR THE WAR,
AND THE DEATH CAMPS,
AND THE A-BOMB.
FELICIA: A GOOD TIME TO BE
20 AND SINGLE, AS LILA WAS.
LUKE: THAT'D BE GOOD ANYTIME.
FELICIA: WELL, CALL ME
SHALLOW.
I JUST LIKE THE CLOTHES.
I LIKE THE MOVIES.
I LIKE THE SLANG.
HOW MUCH DO YOU KNOW ABOUT
1940s MUSIC?
LUKE: OH, BABY,
HAVE YOU COME TO THE RIGHT
PLACE.
BOBBIE: I'M NOT ATTACKING
YOU, OK?
CARLY: YOU NEVER ARE.
BOBBIE: CARLY, I'M JUST
ASKING, WHERE IS JASON IN ALL
OF THIS?
AND NOW THAT THE OFFICE
OF MICHAEL'S FATHER IS
APPARENTLY UP FOR RE-ELECTION,
WHAT ABOUT THE MAN WHO'S TAKEN
CARE OF HIM, AND YOU,
FOR THE PAST YEAR?
CARLY: WELL, I CAN'T FORCE
JASON TO BE REASONABLE, CAN I?
BOBBIE: OH, PLEASE.
YOU NEVER STOP TRYING TO FORCE
JASON TO DO ANY NUMBER
OF THINGS.
I UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT
YOU WERE TRYING TO DO WHEN
YOU DECIDED TO TRY AND PASS OFF
YOUR BABY AS JASON'S.
AND AS MUCH AS I DISAGREED
WITH YOUR TACTICS THEN AND NOW,
I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU WERE JUST
TRYING TO FIND THE MOST LOVING,
ACCEPTING ENVIRONMENT
FOR YOUR SON, AND I APPLAUD THAT
INSTINCT.
CARLY: THEN WHY IS IT SO HARD
FOR YOU TO BELIEVE THAT'S WHAT
I STILL WANT?
BOBBIE: I HATE SAYING THIS --
I REALLY DO, BECAUSE I LOVE
THE QUARTERMAINES --
BUT WHAT KIND OF A HOME CAN
THEY OFFER MICHAEL?
WELL, A.J. MAY BE MICHAEL'S
FATHER -- BIOLOGICALLY SPEAKING,
NOTHING CAN CHANGE THAT --
BUT YOU DON'T HAVE ANY REAL
RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM
TO SPEAK OF.
I WOULDN'T WANT ANY CHILD
OF MINE RAISED IN THAT HOUSE.
CARLY: EXCUSE ME, BUT WHEN
YOU WERE IN MY SHOES, YOU DIDN'T
GIVE A DAMN WHERE A CHILD
OF YOURS WAS RAISED.
BOBBIE: YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT
TO SAY THAT.
IT'S NOT TRUE, BUT YOU HAVE
EVERY RIGHT.
DO I EXPECT MORE FROM YOU?
YOU BET I DO, BECAUSE YOU HAVE
A LOT MORE GOING FOR YOURSELF
THAN I DID THEN.
CARLY: YEAH, AND UNLIKE YOU,
I'M TAKING CARE OF MY BABY.
THE BEST THING THAT I CAN DO
FOR MICHAEL IS TO STAY WHERE
I AM, KEEP A.J. HAPPY, AND PLAY
THINGS HIS WAY.
BOBBIE: NO, CARLY,
THAT'S THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO
FOR YOURSELF.
AND YOU WON'T BE ANY KIND
OF A PARENT UNTIL YOU CAN TELL
THE DIFFERENCE.
TONY: AH.
SORRY.
HAVE YOU BEEN WAITING LONG?
A.J.: YES, AS A MATTER
OF FACT I HAVE.
YOU DIDN'T HEAR YOUR SECRETARY
PAGE YOU?
I DID.
TONY: NO, I HAD A
CONSULTATION.
A.J.: WELL, NO PROBLEM.
I'M PERSISTENT, AS YOU CAN SEE.
SO HAVE YOU HAD A CHANCE
TO THINK ABOUT WHAT I ASKED
YOU -- TESTIFYING ABOUT JASON'S
NEUROLOGICAL, WHAT,
DEFICITS AFTER HIS ACCIDENT?
TONY: YES, I HAVE.
A.J.: THEN YOU'LL DO IT?
TONY: NO, I WON'T.
ALEXIS: YOU DON'T TRUST ME,
AND I DON'T BLAME YOU.
I DON'T.
IT MUST SEEM LIKE OVERNIGHT
I HAVE CHANGED INTO SOMEONE THAT
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.
GUESS WHAT THE IRONY IS --
I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME WAY THAT
YOU DO.
WHO IS NATASHA CASSADINE?
I MEAN, EVEN THAT NAME STILL
SHOCKS ME.
IT'S -- IT'S A STRANGER'S NAME.
SHOULDN'T EVEN EXIST.
MY IDENTITY WAS STOLEN FROM ME,
THEN FORCED BACK ON ME JUST WHEN
I'D GOTTEN USED TO LEARNING
TO LIVE WITHOUT IT -- AND I KNOW
THAT I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN ANY
OF THIS TO YOU, DO I?
NIKOLAS: NO, YOU DON'T.
BUT I DON'T SEE WHY YOU HAVE
TO BLAME MY FATHER.
I MEAN, HE DIDN'T STEAL
YOUR NAME OR YOUR IDENTITY.
ALEXIS: BUT HE TOOK AWAY
EVERYTHING THAT WENT WITH IT,
NIKOLAS -- NOT INTENTIONALLY
AT FIRST, BUT VERY DELIBERATELY
FOR THE LAST YEAR AND A HALF.
NIKOLAS: SEE, HE THOUGHT
HE WAS PROTECTING ME, ALEXIS.
ALEXIS: AND HOW DOES THAT
MAKE YOU FEEL?
CERTAINLY CAN'T FEEL VERY GOOD
TO BE EVERYBODY'S EXCUSE IN THIS
FAMILY, TO BE USED AS --
AS EVERY RATIONALIZATION
FOR EVERY LIE, EVERY DECEPTION,
EVERY MANIPULATION.
NIKOLAS: NO, IT DOESN'T.
ALEXIS: YOU MAY NOT WANT
TO HEAR THIS, BUT I NEED TO TELL
YOU, NIKOLAS.
TO ME, YOUR FATHER IS MORE
GUILTY THAN ANY CASSADINE
IN THIS FAMILY.
AM I ANGRY AT HIM?
YOU BET.
BUT THIS IS NOT ABOUT
YOUR FATHER RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS ABOUT HELENA AND GETTING
HER OUT OF THE EQUATION.
NIKOLAS: ALL RIGHT, THE WAY
THEY TREATED YOU WAS WRONG, OK?
YOU'RE EVERY BIT A CASSADINE
AS I AM.
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO FIGHT
FOR YOUR SHARE.
SO IF -- IF BY SIGNING THIS
HELPS YOU GET THAT,
GIVE ME A PEN.
ALEXIS: THANK YOU.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
NIKOLAS: "NIKOLAS MIKHAIL
STAVROSOVITCH CASSADINE."
SHOULD BE STEFANOVICH.
SON OF STEFAN.
HERE YOU GO.
ALEXIS: OH, NIKOLAS.
YOU KNOW WHAT I REGRET
MOST OF ALL?
YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN OUR PRINCE.
I MAY NEVER BE ABLE TO THINK
OF YOU AS ANYTHING ELSE.
DON'T HATE ME.
NIKOLAS: HOW MUCH DID
YOU HEAR?
KATHERINE: ENOUGH TO GET
THE FEELING THAT YOU JUST WALKED
INTO A TRAP.
I COULD FEED THIS THING QUARTERS
ALL DAY, BUT I STILL CAN'T GET
MY CAR TO SMELL CLEAN.
[ Announcer ]
WELL, HERE'S HOW TO GET BAD
SMELLS OUT OF FABRICS FOR GOOD.
FEBREZE ? FOUND IT
IN THE LAUNDRY AISLE.
AND I GOTTA TELL YOU.
IT REALLY WORKS.
UNLIKE THIS STUFF,
FEBREZE ACTUALLY CLEANS
SMELLS FROM FABRICS.
ALL YOU DO IS SPRAY.
[ Announcer ]
THEN FEBREZE GOES AND
FINDS THE SMELLS IN FABRICS,
AND GENTLY CLEANS THEM AWAY.
BY THE TIME IT'S DRY,
SMELL'S GONE. EASY, HUH ?
GOOD THING.
I PRACTICALLY LIVE IN HERE.
[ Announcer ]
TRIGGER-HAPPY ? THE IMPROVED
SPRAYER'S ON OUR BIG BOTTLE.
||
YOU'RE LOSING IT, MY FRIEND...
CALCIUM--
EVERY DAY.
100 MILLIGRAMS HERE...
30 THERE.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
THIS: NEW VIACTIV.
THIS IS AN AMAZING
CALCIUM SOURCE.
A SOFT, CHOCOLATE CHEW
JUST 20 CALORIES.
VIACTIV IS SWEET
AND LOADED WITH CALCIUM.
HALF THE DAILY VALUE
IN EACH REMARKABLE CHEW.
YOU LOSE IT EVERY DAY--
TAKE VIACTIV EVERY DAY.
BE SWEET TO YOUR BONES.
THE NATION'S OBSESSION...
WITH OREO O's CEREAL...
HAS MADE MILK
A PRECIOUS COMMODITY.
IT'S BEEN TOUGH.
VERY TOUGH.
[ Cow Mooing ]
WHAT WAS THAT ?
THAT WOULD BE
OUR DOG, SPOT.
[ Mooing Continues ]
OREO O's AND MILK.
THE CRISIS CONTINUES.
?|'8?@
OPRAH: HOMEWORK IS NOT WHAT IT
USED TO BE.
ISN'T THAT HEAVY FOR YOU?
>> I'M IN SEVENTH GRADE.
THAT'S A REGULAR DAY
OF HOMEWORK.
OPRAH: CHILDREN ARE STRESSED.
>> I SEE HER IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE NIGHT SITTING FOR HOURS
AND HER EYES ARE TEARING.
OPRAH: PARENTS FEEL
THE PRESSURE.
>> WHEN THAT REPORT CARD CAME
HOME WITH C'S AND B'S, I FELT
LIKE I GOT HE B'S AND C'S.
OPRAH: DO CHILDREN REALLY HAVE
TOO MUCH HOMEWORK?
WHAT HAPPENED TO DOING THE BEST
YOU CA
p0 !0
0000800C80888880808001800 88888G
80888
x888888880000q0
PRESIDENT CLINTON RESPONDS TO
THE CAPTURE OF THREE AMERICAN
SOLDIERS.
I'M MICHELLE TUZEE. ON
EYEWITENSS NEWS AT FOUR--
WE'LL HAVE THE VERY LATEST ON
THE KOSOVO CRISIS PLUS--
ONE OF THE SOLDIERS IS FROM LOS
ANGELES-- WE'LL TALK TO HIS
FAMILY.
AND-- THE MOST EXPENSIVE GAS
PRICES IN THE SOUTHLAND!
WE'LL SHOW YOU WHERE THEY ARE...
AT FOUR.
CARLY: WHERE THE HELL
IS A.J.?
BOBBIE: MAYBE HE AND TY ARE
BONDING.
CARLY: OH, GOD, DON'T
YOU WORK HERE?
I MEAN, DON'T THEY PAY YOU TO DO
SOMETHING THAT KEEPS YOU WAY TOO
BUSY TO WORRY ABOUT
MY SCREWED-UP LITTLE LIFE?
THAT'S HOW YOU HAVE TO THINK
OF ME, ISN'T IT?
FOUR-STAR MESS.
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING --
I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M DOING.
I JUST REALIZED A LONG TIME AGO
THAT IT'S POINTLESS TO TRY
TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING
TO YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST GOING
TO HEAR WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR --
THAT I'M NO GOOD, I'M SELFISH,
I'M LAZY, AND ALL THE REST.
YOU DODGED A BULLET BY HANDING
ME OFF TO THE ADOPTION AGENCY
AS SOON AS I WAS BORN.
BOBBIE: WELL, THEN, TELL ME
SOMETHING IF YOU'VE GOT ME ALL
FIGURED OUT.
CARLY: SURE.
BOBBIE: WHY DO I BOTHER?
WHY DO I KEEP BANGING MY HEAD
AGAINST THE WALL THAT HAPPENS
TO BE MY DAUGHTER?
CARLY: I DON'T KNOW.
WHY DON'T YOU DO US BOTH A FAVOR
AND STOP?
BOBBIE: BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.
HAVEN'T YOU FIGURED THAT
OUT YET?
AND BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO BE
HAPPY.
CARLY: WELL, I AM.
BOBBIE: THAT'S NOT HOW IT
LOOKS TO ME.
AND I ASK MYSELF, IS THAT
MY FAULT,
MINE AND THE ADOPTION LADY'S,
FOR THAT DECISION I MADE ALL
THOSE YEARS AGO?
AND I DON'T WANT THAT FOR YOU.
YEARS FROM NOW, WHEN YOU SEE
MICHAEL STRUGGLING TO GET OVER
HURDLES THAT HE CAN'T SEEM
TO OVERCOME, I DON'T WANT
YOU WONDERING IF IT'S
BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU'RE DOING
TO HIM NOW.
CARLY, CAN YOU HONESTLY TELL ME
THAT YOU THINK HE'S BETTER OFF
NOW THAN HE WAS LIVING
WITH YOU AND JASON?
CARLY: I DON'T BLAME YOU
FOR ANYTHING ABOUT ME.
I REALLY DON'T.
I JUST SAY THAT BECAUSE
YOU MAKE ME SO MAD.
I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU DON'T GET
TO HAVE THINGS THE WAY YOU WANT
THEM IN LIFE, THAT YOU JUST HAVE
TO PLAY THE CARDS THAT YOU'RE
DEALT.
A.J.: TONY, IT'S NOT LIKE I'M
ASKING YOU TO TESTIFY
TO ANYTHING THAT'S NOT TRUE.
YOU WERE HIS NEUROLOGIST.
TONY: I'M ALSO THE MAN THAT
KIDNAPPED MICHAEL, AND I AM
DESPERATELY TRYING TO PUT THAT
BEHIND ME.
A.J.: THAT DOESN'T HAVE
TO COME UP.
TONY: OF COURSE IT DOES.
ALEXIS DAVIS IS GOING TO USE
THAT TO DISCREDIT ME ANY WAY
SHE CAN.
I DON'T WANT TO STIR UP ALL THIS
STUFF.
I'VE GOT A CUSTODY CASE
OF MY OWN TO THINK ABOUT.
A.J.: I COULD ALWAYS HAVE
YOU SUBPOENAED.
TONY: YOU DON'T NEED ME.
SUBPOENA THE RECORDS.
ANY COMPETENT NEUROLOGIST COULD
TESTIFY TO THE SAME THING THAT
I WOULD WITHOUT BEING ACCUSED
OF HAVING AN AX TO GRIND.
HE HAS NO CONTEXT FOR EMOTION,
FEAR, AFFECTION, EMPATHY.
THEY'RE ALL FOREIGN TO HIM,
WHICH MEANS THAT HE'S NOT FIT
TO RAISE A CAT.
AND THE FACTS SPEAK
FOR THEMSELVES IN THIS CASE.
A.J.: TONY, I WANT
YOU TO SPEAK THEM.
YOU TREATED HIM.
YOU SAW FIRSTHAND.
TONY: YOU KNOW, I WOULD HELP
YOU IF I COULD.
I JUST CAN'T GET INVOLVED
RIGHT NOW.
KATHERINE: WHY WON'T YOU TELL
ME WHAT ALEXIS WANTED?
NIKOLAS: I THINK A BETTER
QUESTION IS, WHY WERE
YOU EAVESDROPPING ON US?
KATHERINE: WOULD YOU HAVE
RATHER I ANNOUNCED MYSELF?
YOU GOT OUT OF BED, YOU THREW
YOUR CLOTHES ON, THEN YOU NEVER
CAME BACK.
NIKOLAS: CAN WE JUST DROP IT,
PLEASE?
KATHERINE: ALL RIGHT.
FINE.
NIKOLAS: I MEAN, IT'S NOT
LIKE WE DON'T HAVE OTHER THINGS
TO TALK ABOUT, RIGHT?
KATHERINE: SPEAKING OF WHICH,
CAN YOU COME BY MY OFFICE
TOMORROW?
MY DECEPTION OFFICE.
I WOULD -- WELL, IF YOU ARE
WILLING -- LIKE TO DISCUSS
YOU TAKING ON THE RESPONSIBILITY
OF THE P.R. AT MY COMPANY.
NIKOLAS: ME? WHY?
KATHERINE: BECAUSE YOU ARE
A VERY QUICK LEARNER, YOU CHARM
JUST ABOUT ANYONE YOU MEET,
AND MAYBE I JUST LIKE BEING
AROUND YOU ALL THE TIME.
KATHERINE: HEY.
NIKOLAS: WHAT?
KATHERINE: MY HOUSEWARMING
GIFTS.
WHERE DID THEY GO?
NIKOLAS: OH, I FOUND
A PERFECT PLACE FOR THEM
UPSTAIRS.
YOU WANT ME TO SHOW YOU?
KATHERINE: OH.
MAYBE YES.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
LAURA: NIKOLAS?
LUKE: COUNSELOR.
JAX: HEY.
HOW DID IT GO WITH NIKOLAS?
ALEXIS: IT WAS TERRIBLE.
FIRST, HE WOULDN'T LET ME IN.
JAX: YOU?
MS. PERSUASION?
ALEXIS: THEN HE SET THE DOGS
ON ME.
JAX: NO, HE DID NOT.
WHAT'S THIS?
ALEXIS: DO YOU THINK YOU CAN
RESTORE THAT, OR IS IT TOO LATE?
JAX: OOH.
ALEXIS: APRIL FOOLS.
JAX: THAT'S VERY FUNNY.
ALEXIS: IT'S VERY FUNNY.
LUKE: AND THEN THERE WAS
THE GREAT ROBERT JOHNSON.
THE FOLKLORE ON HIM IS THAT
HE SOLD HIS SOUL TO SATAN
FOR A FAST RIDE AND AN EARLY
EXIT.
FELICIA: I THINK THIS IS
FASCINATING.
BUT, YOU KNOW, I JUST DON'T SEE
EDWARD AND LILA SITTING AROUND
IN A BLUES BAR, DROWNING
THEIR SORROWS IN BEER OR HEARING
SONGS ABOUT HEARTACHE.
LUKE: WELL, MAYBE NOT LILA,
BUT I'LL BET EDWARD CRIES EVERY
TIME HE HEARS "BUDDY,
CAN YOU SPARE A DIME?"
THIS IS MORE THEIR STYLE.
[SWING PLAYS]
LUKE: WHAT DO YOU SAY WE PUT
THOSE GLITTERY SHOES
TO THE ROAD TEST?
FELICIA: HUH?
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I CAN
SWING?
LUKE: YOU GOT BETTY GRABLE
LEGS.
OF COURSE YOU CAN SWING.
SINGERS: UH-HUH
LUKE: UH-HUH
SINGERS: UH-HUH
FELICIA: WHOO!
H@Q DA MOMS PREVENT
TRASH DISASTERS? SOME KIND OF SIXTH SENSE?
LIKE WHAT TELLS THEM GLAD
KITCHEN BAGS ARE THE WAY TO GO?
THE DEPENDABLE PLASTIC?
GLAD'S QUICK TIE FLAPS?
OR IS IT JUST INSTINCT?
MOMS WHO KNOW
KNOW GLAD.
LA LA LA
YUM
TA LA LA LA
YUM
TA LA LA LA
YUM
TA LA LA LA
SO FULL OF
LIFE SAVERS...
YUM...
THE REFRESHING FLAVOR OF LIFE.
WHAT ?
DO YOU HAVE TOO MUCH
CHOLESTEROL ?
WHERE DID YOU HEAR
ABOUT CHOLESTEROL ?
SCHOOL. AND THEY SAID A LOT
ISN'T GOOD FOR YOUR HEART.
THAT'S RIGHT.
IS THAT WHY WE'RE WATCHING
WHAT WE EAT NOW ?
YEAH, WITH CHEERIOS.
AN IMPORTANT STUDY SHOWS...
THAT THREE CUPS OF CHEERIOS'
WHOLE GRAIN OATS A DAY...
ADDED TO A LOW FAT DIET...
CAN HELP PUSH
YOUR CHOLESTEROL DOWN.
WE'RE FIGHTING CHOLESTEROL
RIGHT NOW.
THE ONE AND ONLY CHEERIOS
WELL, THEN HAVE MORE, DAD.
Mz
THIS IS...
IT HELPS YOU SLEEP.
THIS IS...
IT HELPS YOU SLEEP, TOO.
THEY BOTH HAVE
THE EXACT SAME AMOUNT
OF THE EXACT SAME
SLEEP INGREDIENT.
BUT TYLENOL PM
HAS ADDED MEDICINE
FOR HEADACHES, BACKACHES,
EVEN FEVER.
DO YOU HAVE A HEADACHE?
UH-UH!
BACKACHE? FEVER?
UH-UH! UH-UH!
THEN WHY TAKE MEDICINE FOR IT?
TAKE...
AHH...
IT'S A SAFE,
NON-HABIT FORMING WAY...
TO FALL...
KATHERINE: YOU HAVE
ABSOLUTELY NO RESPECT
FOR ANYONE'S PRIVACY, DO YOU?
LAURA: I DON'T HAVE ANY
RESPECT FOR YOU.
NIKOLAS: ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON.
LISTEN, YOU'RE ALWAYS,
ALWAYS WELCOME WHERE I LIVE,
BUT YOU'RE NOT WELCOME TO JUST
WALK IN MY DOOR AND ATTACK
MY GUESTS.
KATHERINE: IF THIS IS
YOUR FAMILY'S NIGHT TO DROP
IN UNANNOUNCED, I THINK IT'S
MY NIGHT TO GO HOME AND WATCH
OLD MOVIES.
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
NIKOLAS: GOOD NIGHT.
NIKOLAS: YOU DON'T LIKE
KATHERINE, AND YOU DON'T LIKE
SEEING HER HERE.
I CAN SEE THAT.
BUT IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME
SHE'S BEEN OVER HERE, AND IT'S
NOT GOING TO BE THE LAST.
LAURA: I'M SORRY,
NIKOLAS, BUT I CAN'T KEEP QUIET
ABOUT THIS.
I CAN'T.
I'M YOUR MOTHER.
I HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO LET
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE HEADED
FOR TROUBLE.
THIS WOMAN --
SHE'S USING YOU.
NIKOLAS: USING ME
FOR ME WHAT?
LAURA: TO GET BACK
AT YOUR FATHER AND ME.
NIKOLAS: THEN THE BEST WAY
TO THWART HER IS TO NOT LET IT
BOTHER YOU.
LAURA: NIKOLAS, THIS
RELATIONSHIP IS NOT WHAT
YOU THINK IT IS.
NIKOLAS: I DON'T THINK I'M
BEING UNREALISTIC ABOUT IT.
LAURA: NO? NO?
NIKOLAS: NO.
LAURA: THEN DO YOU REALIZE
THAT BEFORE IT'S OVER, SHE WILL
HURT YOU AND SHE WILL
BETRAY YOU?
NIKOLAS: LISTEN, I DON'T SEE
HOW YOU CAN JUST KNOW THAT.
LAURA: OH.
LOOK, YOU KNOW, LOOK HOW SHE'S
MANEUVERING EVERYTHING, RIGHT?
NOW YOU'RE HER DEFENDER.
YOUR FATHER AND I CAN'T EVEN
MENTION HER NAME TO
YOU WITHOUT RISKING A FIGHT
WITH YOU.
NIKOLAS: WELL, THEN MAYBE
YOU SHOULD -- I DON'T KNOW --
CHANGE THE SUBJECT.
OR LEAVE.
[SWING PLAYS]
LUKE: HEY!
LUKE: HEY!
BIG FINISH.
AH!
OH!
LUKE: WHOO!
HEY!
FELICIA: WHOA!
OOH, OOH!
UH-OH!
MAC: "UH-OH" IS RIGHT.
[MUSIC STOPS]
MAC: YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO GET
MY WIFE DRUNK AND MAKE A PUBLIC
SPECTACLE OF HER AGAIN, ARE YOU?
LUKE: NO, BUBBA,
JUST THE PUBLIC SPECTACLE PART.
FELICIA: I WASN'T DRINKING.
I WAS WAITING FOR YOU.
MAC: OH, ALL RIGHT, THEN.
FELICIA: AND I ASKED LUKE
ABOUT THE KIND OF MUSIC LILA
QUARTERMAINE WOULD'VE
LISTENED TO.
MAC: FELICIA, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO EXPLAIN.
JUST BECAUSE WE'RE MARRIED
DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T DANCE
WITH ANOTHER MAN -- EVEN THAT
ONE.
FELICIA: IT DOESN'T?
MAC: I DON'T REMEMBER
ANYTHING ABOUT IT IN
OUR WEDDING VOWS.
FELICIA: OH.
YOU'RE SO EVOLVED.
I'M SO IMPRESSED.
MAC: BESIDES, IF OTHER GUYS
DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE A GRAB
AT YOU NOW AND THEN, I WOULDN'T
NEED TO MARRY YOU.
FELICIA: AH, THERE'S
THE CAVEMAN THAT I MARRIED.
ALEXIS: ACTUALLY, YOU HELPED
ME WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IT.
WHAT YOU SAID TO ME ABOUT BEING
EVERYONE'S JUSTIFICATION
FOR THE WRONGS THEY DO?
THAT IS TRUE FOR NIKOLAS, AND IT
HIT HOME WITH HIM.
JAX: I BARED MY SOUL TO YOU,
AND YOU USED MY PAIN?
ALEXIS: USED YOUR PAIN
FOR PERSONAL GAIN.
HOW CAN I EVER MAKE IT UP
TO YOU?
JAX: YOU CAN FLY TO GENEVA
WITH ME TOMORROW.
ELIZABETH: WELL?
LUCKY: YOU GOT A LITTLE BIT
RIGHT HERE.
ELIZABETH: OH.
LUCKY: OTHER SIDE.
ELIZABETH: THERE'S
NO BARBECUE SAUCE ON MY FACE.
HOW DARE YOU APRIL-FOOL ME.
LUCKY: I WASN'T.
I JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE
TO KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO SIT
STILL AND LET SOMEBODY STARE
REAL HARD AT YOUR FACE.
ELIZABETH: OH, SPEAKING
OF WHICH, I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT
TO MAKE.
LUCKY: YEAH?
ELIZABETH: ALL THREE
OF MY ART SCHOOL SUBMISSIONS ARE
FINALLY AND TOTALLY COMPLETED.
LUCKY: WHEN'S THE GRAND
UNVEILING?
ELIZABETH: WELL,
NOW, IF YOU THINK YOU CAN
HANDLE IT.
ELIZABETH: VOILA.
LUCKY: I BET STEFAN CASSADINE
WOULD PAY BIG BUCKS FOR THAT.
ELIZABETH: I THINK
HE PROBABLY WOULD'VE WANTED
WYNDEMERE TO LOOK A LITTLE --
I DON'T KNOW -- BIGGER?
BUT I'D RATHER GET INTO ART
SCHOOL WITH IT.
LUCKY: IT'S GREAT.
ELIZABETH: OH.
HERE.
LUCKY: THAT'S AMAZING.
ELIZABETH: AND IT GAVE ME
ABSOLUTELY NO GRIEF ABOUT
SITTING FOR ME -- OR STANDING.
AND --
TA-DA.
YOU LOOK PRETTY GOOD, HUH?
LUCKY: I WOULD SAY I'M PROUD
OF YOU, BUT WHAT I REALLY AM IS
AWED BY YOU.
ELIZABETH: I THINK I DID OK.
LUCKY: I THINK SO.
ELIZABETH: EVEN I CAN TELL.
I THINK IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN,
LUCKY -- OUR LIFE IN MANHATTAN.
I EVEN GOT A SIGN.
THE AVERAGE BUTTERFLY TAKES
THREE DAYS TO FULLY SPREAD
ITS WINGS IN THE SPRINGTIME.
EACH SPRING, THE AVERAGE WOMAN
TAKES AS MUCH TIME TO REALIZE...
SHE HAS NOTHING TO WEAR.
PERFECT TIME
FOR THE PAYLESS SPRING SALE.
WITH A HUGE SELECTION
OF WOMEN'S DRESS AND CASUALS
FOR JUST $9.99,
YOU WON'T NEED
TO SPEND THREE DAYS
LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT SHOE.
NO WONDER THEY MIGRATE HERE.
IT'S YOUR CHOICE,
AND DOESN'T IT FEEL GOOD ?
KIDS LOVE COLOR WIPEOFFS
FROM CRAYOLA.
THEY COLOR FOR HOURS
WITH SPECIAL WASHABLE MARKERS
AND THE COLOR WIPEOFF BOARD
THAT LETS THEM COLOR
AGAIN AND AGAIN.
LOOK FOR THE WHOLE LINE
OF COLOR WIPEOFFS.
THERE'S ONLY ONE...




GET MORE CALCIUM
THAN REGULAR TUMS
WITH NEW MAALOX
QUICK DISSOLVE
CHEWABLE ANTACID.
THE CALCIUM IS
AN ADDED PLUS,
DEFINITELY.
AND IT DISSOLVES
FASTER THAN TUMS.
I CAN'T
IMPROVE ON THAT.
ELIZABETH: HERE.
LUCKY: THIS ISN'T LIKE
AN APRIL FOOLS GIFT, IS IT?
ELIZABETH: NO, JUST OPEN IT.
LUCKY: "NEW YORK CITY TRANSIT
AUTHORITY.
GOOD FOR ONE FARE."
WOW.
ELIZABETH: WELL, I WAS
AT THIS ESTATE SALE WITH EMILY
AND NIKOLAS, AND WE WERE LOOKING
FOR STUFF FOR HIS NEW PLACE
AND WE FOUND THIS REALLY OLD BOX
WITH A SECRET COMPARTMENT IN IT,
AND THIS WAS IN IT.
LUCKY: YEAH?
ELIZABETH: AND I JUST THOUGHT
THAT, YOU KNOW, IT MEANT
EVERYTHING WE'RE HOPING FOR IS
GOING TO HAPPEN.
SO I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT.
LUCKY: COOL.
ELIZABETH: THE JEWELER
POLISHED OFF ALL THE OTHER
WORDS, BUT THERE STILL WASN'T
A LOT OF ROOM TO PUT MUCH ON IT.
LUCKY: "LUCKY AND
ELIZABETH -- TODAY, FOREVER."
I DIDN'T NEED A SIGN TO TELL
ME THAT.
BOBBIE: CARLY, YOU KNOW,
YOU SOUND LIKE YOU THINK YOU'RE
HELPLESS, BUT YOU'RE NOT.
AND IF YOU REALLY THINK THAT
MICHAEL DESERVES BETTER,
THEN WHAT'S STOPPING
YOU FROM PACKING UP HIS THINGS
AND MARCHING DOWN THAT MARBLE
STAIRCASE RIGHT OUT THE FRONT
DOOR?
CARLY: OH, OK, BOBBIE.
YOU REALLY THINK THEY'D LET ME?
BOBBIE: ARE YOU AFRAID?
CARLY, YOU KNOW, THERE ARE LAWS
ABOUT SNATCHING BABIES.
YOUR CHOICES AREN'T LIMITED
TO LETTING THEM OR SHOOTING
THEM.
CARLY: GOD, THIS IS
POINTLESS.
WHY?
OH.
LOOK, BOBBIE,
MICHAEL AND I ARE GOING TO HAVE
A GREAT LIFE AS LONG AS WE STAY
WHERE WE ARE.
BOBBIE: YOU'RE REALLY
SLIPPING.
YOU USED TO BELIEVE
YOUR OWN LIES.
A.J.: LADIES.
HI, BOBBIE.
BOBBIE: HELLO, A.J.
A.J.: YOU KNOW, YOU HAVEN'T
BEEN BY THE HOUSE AGAIN TO SEE
MICHAEL, AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW
YOU'RE WELCOME ANYTIME.
CARLY: YEAH.
YOU SHOULD COME.
HE MISSES YOU.
BOBBIE: I WILL.
WELL,
EXCUSE ME.
A.J.: GOOD TO SEE YOU.
CARLY: HOW'D IT GO?
WELL, I TOLD YOU.
YOU KNOW, IF TONY THINKS IT'S
MY IDEA, HE'S NOT GOING TO DO
IT, AND HE PROBABLY DOES.
A.J.: I'M NOT GIVING UP
JUST YET.
WE MAY HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER
NEUROLOGIST, BUT --
CARLY: WELL, HE'S NOT WORTH
GETTING WORKED UP ABOUT,
THAT'S FOR SURE.
A.J.: YOU'RE RIGHT.
HOW YOU DOING?
LAURA: ARE YOU THROWING
ME OUT?
NIKOLAS: NO.
LAURA: WELL, THEN,
SHOULD ONE OF US APOLOGIZE NOW?
NIKOLAS: ONLY IF ONE OF US IS
SORRY.
LAURA: I'M NOT.
BUT I'M WONDERING WHETHER OR NOT
I'M SUPPOSED TO BE.
YOU KNOW, NIKOLAS, SOMETIMES
I JUST DON'T KNOW WHERE I STAND
WITH YOU OR HOW TO BE
YOUR MOTHER.
I --
I WAS JUST A NAME AND A FACE
IN YOUR LIFE FOR SO MANY YEARS,
SO WHAT RIGHT DOES THAT GIVE ME
TO HAVE A SAY IN IT?
BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, I'D LIKE
TO BE MORE THAN JUST A NAME
AND A FACE TO YOU NOW.
NIKOLAS: I'LL ALWAYS WANT
YOU TO TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.
THAT WILL ALWAYS BE IMPORTANT
TO ME.
BUT SOMETIMES I'M GOING TO WANT
TO IGNORE IT JUST LIKE THE REST
OF YOUR KIDS DO.
LAURA: AND JUST LIKE THE REST
OF MY KIDS, I'M NOT GOING
TO LIKE THAT VERY MUCH.
OK.
I'LL DROP IT.
NIKOLAS: OK.
LAURA: FOR NOW.
NIKOLAS: THANK YOU.
LAURA: BUT MOSTLY
BECAUSE I HAVE AN ULTERIOR
MOTIVE WHICH WILL BE COMPLETELY
UNDERMINED IF WE CONTINUE
TO ARGUE.
I ACTUALLY CAME HERE LOOKING
FOR SOMEONE TO CELEBRATE WITH.
NIKOLAS: OH, WELL,
THAT I CAN DO.
WHAT ARE WE CELEBRATING?
LAURA: WELL, I THINK I'M
PRETTY CLOSE TO GETTING A JOB
AT G.H.
NIKOLAS: OH, REALLY?
LAURA: YEAH.
SO WHAT DO YOU SAY?
YOU WANT TO GO OVER
TO THE BABYSITTER'S AND PICK UP
YOUR SISTER AND GO OUT
TO DINNER?
NIKOLAS: YEAH, IF WE CAN
AGREE THAT THE SUBJECT
OF KATHERINE BELL IS OFF-LIMITS.
LAURA: FOR TONIGHT.
NIKOLAS: THAT'S THE BEST DEAL
I'M GOING TO GET?
ALL RIGHT.
LUKE: TASHA.
ALEXIS: HEY.
LUKE: HERE WITH LURCH.
ARE YOU HATCHING PLOTS OR EGGS?
ALEXIS: PLOTS, AND LOTS
OF THEM.
LOTS OF SKULLDUGGERY AND BURIED
TREASURE, AND IT'S REALLY,
REALLY, REALLY INTRIGUING --
AND I'M NOT GOING TO TELL
YOU ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
LUKE: WELL, SHOULD I ORDER
THE BRASS PLAQUE THAT SAYS
"SHE WAS SITTING HERE WHEN
SHE PLOTTED TO BRING
HER VERMINOUS FAMILY DOWN"?
ALEXIS: YES.
NOW GO AWAY.
YOU'RE AN EXHIBITIONIST,
AND WE PLOTTERS LIKE TO KEEP
A LOW PROFILE.
LUKE: YES, BUT WITHOUT
WE EXHIBITIONISTS, YOU VOYEURS
WOULD HAVE ONLY THE MIRROR
TO LOOK INTO.
ALEXIS: OH.
LUKE: YOU CARE TO SPIN AROUND
THE DANCE FLOOR?
ALEXIS: I'D RATHER DIE.
LUKE: YOU KNOW, YOU'RE COLD.
CRUEL, EVEN.
ALEXIS: WELL --
LUKE: AND ONE DAY WHEN YOU'RE
OLD AND GRAY, YOU'RE GOING
TO LOOK BACK ON THIS MOMENT
AND LAMENT THE FACT YOU DIDN'T
LIGHTEN UP AND LINDY HOP.
ALEXIS: LINDY HOP?
MAC: RELEASED THEM BACK
INTO THE WILD?
FELICIA: HE DIDN'T SAY WHAT
HAPPENED TO THE MONKEYS EXACTLY.
I GUESS HE'S JUST REDECORATING.
MAC: HIS IDEA OF REDECORATING
IS PUTTING HAND TOWELS
IN THE BATHROOM.
FELICIA: WELL, MORENO'S NAME
MIGHT HAVE BEEN MENTIONED.
I WOULD MUCH RATHER HEAR YOU SAY
WHAT A WONDERFUL DANCER I AM.
MAC: FELICIA, THAT GOES
WITHOUT SAYING.
FELICIA: RULE NUMBER FOUR --
NO COMPLIMENT, NO ROMANCE.
THAT GOES WITHOUT SAYING.
MAC: I LOVE YOU LIKE CRAZY,
AND YOU ARE A GREAT DANCER.
NOW, WHAT'S RULES NUMBER ONE,
TWO, AND THREE?
FELICIA: WELL, I HAVE TO LOOK
THOSE UP.
I'M SURE THEY'RE ALL SIMILAR.
JAX: ALL SET.
THE JET'S HIRED.
I'LL BE PILOTING,
AND I WILL BE FURNISHED
WITH PHONY I.D.'S.
AND IF YOU'RE HAVING SECOND
THOUGHTS, NOW WOULD BE A GOOD
TIME TO SAY SO.
ALEXIS: WHY WOULD I?
JAX: WELL, I HAVE A FEELING
NED MIGHT OBJECT.
I MEAN, THIS ISN'T A PLEASURE
TRIP, ALEXIS.
WE'LL BE TAKING ON HELENA
CASSADINE AGAIN.
ALEXIS: NED WILL UNDERSTAND.
JAX: NO, HE WON'T,
AND YOU KNOW HE WON'T.
ALEXIS: LIFE WAS SIMPLER
BEFORE I KNEW I WAS A CASSADINE.
BUT THIS --
THIS, FOLKS, WAS THE LIFE I WAS
BORN TO.
STARTED OFF ON A LEDGE ALL
BY MYSELF.
BUT NOW --
NOW, IT'S ALMOST AS IF I'M
AT THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN,
AND WHEN I'M FINALLY ABLE TO SEE
WHAT'S ON THE OTHER SIDE,
IT'S EVERYTHING.
IT'S ME.
>> STAY TUNED FOR SCENES FROM
THE NEXT "GENERAL HOSPITAL."
HERE'S A NEW IDEA:
A PAIN RELIEVER FROM ALEVE...
THAT GOES TO WORK FAST
AND LASTS ALL DAY.
INTRODUCING NEW ALEVE GELCAPS.
LIKE MOST GELCAPS,
THEY GO TO WORK FAST,
BUT ALEVE GELCAPS
DO MORE THAN WORK FAST.
THEY HAVE THE STRENGTH
TO WORK ALL DAY LONG
WITH JUST TWO PILLS.
IT WOULD TAKE EIGHT TYLENOL
TO DO THAT.
LOOK, IF YOUR PAIN RELIEVER
STARTS FAST, BUT WON'T LAST,
GET ONE THAT DOES IT ALL:
NEW ALEVE GELCAPS.
TWO PILLS. ALL DAY RELIEF.
WORKS FOR ME.
AH, A CRISP,
COLD CLAUSSEN DILL.
JA, IT DOESN'T TAKE
A ROCKET SCITIST TO KNOW
IT TASTES... BRILLIANT !
??ITENING TOOTHPASTESARE NOT THE SAME.
AQUAFRESH WHITENING
IS DIFFERENT.
ONLY AQUAFRESH HAS TRICLENE,
PROVEN TO HELP RESTORE TEETH
TO THEIR NATURAL WHITENESS.
AQUAFRESH WHITENING
WITH FLUORIDE.
IT HURTS SO BAD.
THAT BURNING SENSATION.
SO I SAW MY DOCTOR.
HE SAID WHERE HEARTBURN
HURTS MOST
IS WHERE MYLANTA
WORKS FAST.
ALL DOWN THROUGH HERE
WHERE YOU WANT HELP FAST.
??
FEEDING YOUR BABY...
GIVES HER ALL THE NUTRIENTS
SHE NEEDS TO GROW STRONG.
BUT WHEN YOU GIVE HER
AN ORDINARY BOTTLE,
YOU COULD BE INCREASING
THE RISK OF EAR INFECTIONS TOO !
OH.
JOHNSON'S HEALTHFLOW BOTTLES
ARE UNIQUELY ANGLED...
TO PROMOTE THE SEMI-UPRIGHT
FEEDING POSITION,
REDUCING FLUID
IN THE INNER EAR...
AND THE RISK
OF EAR INFECTIONS.
BREAST FEEDING IS BEST.
BUT IF YOU GIVE
YOUR BABY A BOTTLE,
GIVE HER ONE THAT HELPS
PREVENT EAR INFECTIONS TOO.
JOHNSON'S HEALTHFLOW.
FROM JOHNSON & JOHNSON.
A.J.: I'LL MEET YOU TONIGHT
AT THE ELM STREET PIER,
BUT UNDERSTAND -- AFTER TONIGHT,
OUR BUSINESS IS ENDED.
ALEXIS: I DIDN'T WANT
TO LEAVE FOR SWITZERLAND
WITHOUT SAYING GOOD-BYE.
NED: THAT MAY HAVE BEEN
A MISTAKE.
ALEXIS: WHY?
JASON: THE CHANCES I TAKE ARE
SO I CAN HOLD ON TO MICHAEL.
WHAT A YOUR REASONS?

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