General Hospital Transcript Thursday 11/23/95
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AJ: Say, grandfather, I hear the Tokyo deal fell apart. That's too bad Ned mishandled--
Edward: I, uh, suggest that you stay off that subject. Now, no matter what Ned did or didn't, it'll be a cold day in hell before you're in any position to criticize him.
Alan: Of course, Father. How dare anyone criticize Ned. Bigamist, manipulator, apple of your eye.
Edward: Well, at least he can hold his liquor.
Monica: That's enough.
Edward: I beg your pardon?
Monica: I mean it, Edward. Now, Emily is upstairs getting ready for her first thanksgiving without her mother. And for her sake, we are going to celebrate it with warmth, with sensitivity, and with family togetherness if it kills us.
Edward: And well it might. If ever a man was surrounded--
Lila: Edward, shut up!
Edward: I will not be told to shut up in my house.
Monica: It's my house.
Alan: I gave it to you.
Monica: And as long as you're in it, you'll behave yourself.
Lila: And not just for Emily's sake. I, too, find the family fireworks quite fatiguing. That is why I've decided to break with tradition. Instead of dining on turkey and sniping at each other, we're going to have a harmonious meal over duck a l'orange.
Katherine: Mm. Uh--
Mac: Wait. Wait. Don't go--
Katherine: You have to let me go if we are going to eat.
Mac: Not necessarily.
Katherine: Mm. Ok, ok, ok, ok...
Katherine: The turkey will not cook itself.
Mac: [Sighs] Why don't we order a couple of thanksgiving specials from the outback?
Katherine: You want takeout for thanksgiving?
Mac: I'm Australian, remember? I mean, as far as I'm concerned, thanksgiving is just another meal.
Mac: Oh. Ohh...ok, I mean, if you really had your heart set on cooking.
Katherine: Well, no. I don't really, but--I don't even know if I can make it happen. I just wanted to do something traditional with you.
Mac: Well, how about Chinese?
Katherine: [Laughing] Chinese, uh-- you're serious?
Mac: For me, Chinese is thanksgiving tradition.
Katherine: Oh. Well, perfect then. All of a sudden, I'm in the mood for some Peking duck.
Tony: So they shrank the turkey.
Bobbie: Ha ha ha. Well, there's two more in the fridge. I thought we'd try something a little different--whoa, after last year's disaster.
Tony: Oh, that's fine with me. I've become an expert at rolling with the punches.
Bobbie: Yes, you have. I just want you to know how much I appreciate that. I mean, to be here with you after everything that's happened, I really do have a lot to be thankful for.
Tony: So, duck. Duck? [Quacking]
Bobbie: Yeah. As a matter of fact, look at this. I got this great recipe. Right here, shows you how to do everything to prepare it for roasting.
Tony: Well, that's great. Except that I, uh, invited an extra guest. See, I ran into her and she sort of told me how she was going to be all alone and I just thought--
Bobbie: Tony. You didn't.
Tony: I invited Lucy.
Lucy: Over the hill and through the woods to the brownstone we will go-- huh. Actually, that's not true. It's kind of down the street and around the corner, but we're going to go and it's going to be fun. Sigmund, I got your snack. Sigmund. Sigmund, come on. I don't want you to get hungry and try to eat stuff before it's ready. Sigmund? Sigmund. I told you about taking a bath without mommy's permission. Sigmund? Siggie, come out. It's not time to play hide and seek. Come on, come on. Sigmund? Sigmund. If you are in the cooking sherry again, you are not going to get to go. Sigmund? Sigmund. If you didn't want to go to dinner, then you should have said so. We could've stayed at home, but I want to go. Come out! Sigmund, come on! Siggie? Siggie? Did you drink the cooking sherry and you're passed out? Sigmund? Sigmund. This is no time to sleep. Don't hide. Sigmund? Oh, no. No, no, no. Oh, no, no. Sigmund? Sigmund! Siggie! It's mommy! Sigmund!
Lucy: Katherine? Katherine? I know he is in there. Let me in right now. Open this--
Katherine: Coming, coming.
Lucy: Katherine, open this door and get your paws off him. Open this door right now.
Katherine: What do you want?
Lucy: Mac, Mac. My very dear friend and my very own private eye. Listen, I went down to the outback and I asked them where you were and they said that you were here. With her. So I came because I desperately need your help.
Mac: Ok, just calm down. Sit down. What's wrong?
Lucy: Ok. It's Sigmund. He's-he's missing.
Mac: All this high drama for a duck, Lucy?
Lucy: I wouldn't expect you to understand. See, Mac? Tony invited us over for thanksgiving dinner. And so before we went, I thought that I would fix Sigmund just a little snack, you know, to tide him over. So when I came out of the kitchen, though, with the snack he was gone.
Mac: So what do you want me to do?
Lucy: [Exhales] I want you to find him. I want you to find him before something absolutely horrible happens to him.
Mac: All right, all right, all right. Lucy, just calm down. Try and relax. Now, try--look. Um, everything was fine this morning. You two hadn't quarreled?
Lucy: Mm-mm. No.
Mac: No fights, no disagreements?
Mac: You haven't struck him recently, have you?
Lucy: No! I would never do that.
Mac: Ow. All right, then, Lucy. It's clear he hasn't run away. I think he's just out exploring. So I suggest you go home and you wait for him to come back.
Lucy: Wait for him? Are you insane? I can't do that. I have to find him. I have to do something. You have to do something!
Mac: There is nothing to be done. I mean, nothing can be done until 24 hours have passed.
Lucy: Mac, I came to you of all people because I thought you would help. You care about him. You know him. Sigmund's supposed to be your friend. She has done this to you, hasn't she? You have devoured his soul and stolen away his conscience, haven't you? Otherwise, you couldn't just be sitting on this couch dining on--[Gasps] Duck! Oh, my gosh. How could you?
Katherine: Well, it's not your duck--
Lucy: Oh, right, Kat. Like I'm supposed to take your word for it?
Katherine: Lucy, it's not Sigmund. Hey, think about it. Peking duck takes days to prepare.
Lucy: Oh. Right. And I suppose that not even you could be so cruel as to eat my Sigmund. Well, I'm going to go. I'm just going to go out there and find someone else to help me. Someone who cares. I hope you can live with yourself, you duck eater!
Edward: Ah, thank you, Reginald. A little sauce of the juniper will make me a benign patriarch.
AJ: Whatever works.
Lois: Ooh! [Coughing]
Emily: Oh, hey! Ned, Lois!
Lois: Hi, yourself! Happy thanksgiving.
You, too. Happy thanksgiving, Ned.
Is that what it is? I always forget.
For God's sake, close the door. It's freezing out there.
Oh, you know what? You're not kidding. We almost got frostbite coming up from the gatehouse.
Ned: Happy thanksgiving, Grandmother. Excuse me.
Lila: And to you, my dear.
What's that contraption you're carrying?
Oh, well, you see, Mr. Q keeps making noises about sending Ned off to Tokyo for 6 months. So I gave him his Christmas present early. That way, even in Tokyo, he'll still be my Eddie.
Ha ha ha.
Yeah, I think I managed a chord as we walked over here. I think, uh, it helps to have frozen fingers. Let me see if I can try--
No, no, no. Please. Restrain yourself. Hmm? Well, my dear. You certainly do have a sense of humor.
Mm. A quality necessary for survival in this place.
Did Ned get you anything?
Are you kidding me? Every day with him is Christmas. Guess what he got me.
I'm sure I don't know.
Well, you should. It was your idea.
A mechanical bank. For my nickel and dime operation.
And that was Father's idea?
Oh, it sure was because he said that L&B was nothing--
Edward: A nickel and dime operation.
Edward: Oh, Lila, it was just light-hearted sparring. Part of the preliminary skirmishes. The battle has yet to commence.
Lila: There is no battle. The battle is over. It's not even an issue.
Edward: Is that so?
Lila: Edward. You promised.
Edward: Promised what?
Lila: A harmonious family holiday.
Oh, what a great idea. We can do harmonious. Can't we, Mr. Q?
Edward: Of course. I can deal with you tomorrow.
Oh, you know? You just can't let it go, can you? Not at all. He just can't.
Well, there's a sight to be thankful for. Oh. Ohh.
Up and over.
Do it again! Ha ha ha.
Don't do it again, you might put a hole in the ceiling. Ha ha ha.
I tell you what. You take this to your aunt Bobbie, see if she needs any help. And perhaps you and your mother and I can go out and play in the back yard 'till dinner.
Do you know how cold it is outside?
Well, aren't you the girl who likes brisk?
You caught me.
Hey. Where are you off to?
Bradley ward house. We're going to have a big dinner with Mary Mae and all the kids.
Oh. That's amazing.
Sounds like a lot of fun. But don't forget that grandpa needs your help to root for PCU today.
Are you going to help, too?
Of course. Of course. After I have dinner here with the joneses, I'm going to run over there for some pie and the last quarter of the football game.
Happy thanksgiving, every--
Oh, hi. Happy thanksgiving.
Here, you're all set.
We're going to Grammie and grandpa's to watch the last quarter of the football game.
Aren't you? I know Mother and Dad are really looking forward to it.
Are you sure? Audrey didn't say anything to me.
Maybe she just assumed. But I know she's counting on seeing you and Tommy.
Mommy, let's go.
All right. I'll give her a call at Ward house.
Maybe you want to see if Bobbie needs our help?
Steve: Hardy residence.
Tom: Hi, Dad? Tom. Happy thanksgiving.
Steve: Same to you, son. Are you coming by?
Tom: I wanted to talk to Mother about that. Is she there?
Steve: Yeah, sure. Hold on. Audrey?
Steve: Honey, it's Tom. Try to convince him to come over, will you?
Audrey: Oh, sure. Hello, dear.
Tom: Hi. Mother, I have a big favor to ask of you. I took a big leap of faith, and I assumed that you and Dad would want Tommy there. So I told Simone that Dad was expecting him there for the last quarter of the PCU game. She's going to call you in a little bit and I was hoping you could cover for me.
Audrey: With pleasure.
Tom: You're the best.
Audrey: Ha ha. We'll be seeing you later, too, won't we?
Tom: Oh, yes, yes, yes. I'll be there. Thanks a lot.
So what's the story?
I don't know. What is the story? Are Steve and Audrey expecting Tommy?
They are now. I did it. I used my son.
It worked. Justus looked like a thundercloud, and now it's an issue for him and Simone. One that will color their holiday and spill over onto Tommy.
I didn't want that. Felicia, I didn't. I didn't want that. You don't understand what it's like to be a little kid caught in between your parent's mistakes.
You do. Don't do it to Tommy.
I promised myself I never would. It's one more promise I didn't keep.
It wasn't that bad of a slip-up.
Yes it was a bad slip-up. Look, I need your help. If I ever do anything like that ever again, please just, I don't know, kick me, slap me, hit me on the head. Do anything you can. Just don't let me use my son.
Lucy: Oh! Oh, there you are. My very best friend in the whole entire world.
Felicia: Well, happy thanksgiving.
Lucy: I desperately need your help.
Felicia: What now?
Lucy: It's Sigmund. Oh, Felicia, he's disappeared.
Lucy: How? I don't know how. Isn't that the point? He has disappeared.
Felicia: Disappeared as in ran away?
Lucy: Or disappeared as in ducknapped?
[Gasps] Ducknapped? It's got to be ducknapped. The window was open, so some degenerate broke in and snatched him.
Felicia? Have you seen the maga--oh. Hi, Lucy. Have you seen the magazine with the recipe? Because I don't remember when to turn down the temperature on the duck.
Uh-oh. No, no, no!
Whoa! Wait a minute.
Hold on, hold on.
Sigmund is missing.
Oh. Ohh! And you think I-- for Pete's sake, Lucy. We bought our ducks at the butcher yesterday.
Oh. I see. So you're going to eat them today without a qualm. How could you? Oh! How could you? Oh, this whole town has gone mad.
Mm. You taste...[Smacks lips] Like plum sauce. Mm.
Is that a good thing?
Mm-hmm. I love plum sauce.
Oh, who could that be? Well, it's obviously not Lucy.
Oh, I'll go.
I'm sorry. I'm interrupting.
No. No, you're not interrupting. I wouldn't answer the door if you were interrupting. Come on in. You're never an intrusion.
That's right. You're always welcome here.
Are you sure?
Yeah. Besides, it must be freezing outside. Come and have a cup of tea.
Well, uh, maybe just one. You'll probably be sorry, though, I'm not exactly in a holiday mood.
Um, you know, Lucy was here earlier. She was, uh, pretty upset.
Sigmund. Apparently he's missing.
Well, how? When?
This afternoon. Uh, she wasn't clear on the details. And I'm afraid I wasn't overly sympathetic.
Mac, she loves that duck.
I know. I'm sure he's ok. Come on, he's a pet. Everyone in the neighborhood knows him.
So what's Lucy doing?
Well, she's out recruiting further help. She probably has Alex Garcia working on it right now.
How are things between you and Lucy?
Oh. Stalemate. I don't know. Maybe it's our destiny. You know, this time last year she was so furious at me she flew off to Puerto Rico and dove headlong into some hare-brained adventure with Luke "I can do no wrong" Spencer. But the simple fact is I can't live without her. So I'll just have to adjust my attitude and accept her the way she is.
Well, that seems to be the popular solution. I mean after all, Laura Spencer took Luke back.
And I'm very happy for the both of them. I just hope it works out that way for Lucy and me.
You know, what you've made is a very pragmatic decision. Very mature decision. The thing is, you can't live in a vacuum. I mean, you need Lucy back so you can co-exist with her.
Well, thank you for brightening my holidays. I think what I should do now is get out and drive around the neighborhood, see if I can spot Sigmund. And I'll consider my options at the same time.
Listen. If, uh, you don't find him, give me a call. I'll help you look.
Well, you're late.
Mrs. Quartermaine, thank you so much for inviting me.
Lila: Oh, it's a great pleasure, my dear.
Emily, I made something for you.
What? Present, present.
Oh, isn't that lovely?
Grammie always made me one to wear for the holidays.
Thank you so much. There. How do I look?
Like a princess.
Oh, it's just precious.
Are you ok?
It's orange juice.
AJ: I haven't had a drink since the accident.
AJ: Listen, Keesha, you didn't tell Jason that I was drinking before this, did you?
Keesha: No. No, I didn't.
AJ: Thank you. Listen, I've got to tell you, I really-- I appreciate that you believed in me. It kind of makes me feel like I'm not going through this by myself.
Hey, bro. Mind if I have a sip?
Well, gee, Jason. That was subtle.
Maybe too subtle.
Why don't you back off?
Why don't you back off?
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. You guys remember, come on. Family harmony.
Well, you know, it's just a concept. But, you know, it's like all of us trying to get along together? Huh?
Uh, miss Coe--
Lucy: Edward? Oh, Edward. Thank god you're here. Listen, I need your help. No, I don't need your help. I need your clout. I need your influence, I need your power.
What are you babbling about?
Lucy: It's my duck, Sigmund.
Lucy: You see, he's disappeared. Or he's gone, or he's misplaced, or--I'm really beginning to believe that someone ducknapped him. So I want you to call the police and I want you to pull some strings and use your clout and influence and get them to help me.
I'm sorry. That's beyond the scope of anything--
Lucy: No it's not. Nothing is beyond Edward Quartermaine's scope. I mean, the whole town's talking about how you're going to get AJ off for that DWI. So please, why don't you use your power to help somebody innocent, please? Mother Quartermaine?
Lucy: Oh. What are you people doing? Do you even think about your actions, dining on little, innocent, blameless water fowl? What about these little ducks? Using them to satisfy your basest instincts? What is it? Duckicide is a crime against nature, don't you know that? All the little feathered creatures want is a pond to paddle around in. Don't you see? And they want to be your friends. How do you repay them? Murder. Bloodshed. And orange sauce. This has got to stop somewhere. It's got to stop here. That's what I'm trying to say. Please. Please, people. Please let it stop here. I beg you.
Hey, good to see you.
Mom and miller are on their way.
Uh, here are the official as requested Abby Forrest pecan pies.
Ooh. Thank you very much.
And, uh, Spencer Jr., I understand you had quite an adventure.
Yeah, I did. Heh.
We're sure glad you're home safe.
It worked out better than I thought. For me and for Emily. And I actually learned something.
You know, it's funny. But when I was a little kid on thanksgiving, you know, you and my mom--they would say everything that they were thankful for. To me, it just seemed like some sort of school assignment, you know. Like I was memorizing a list and saying it back. I never really understood what it meant to be grateful. But now I do. And I'm going to spend, heh, at least the next year thanking whoever that my dad's back home and my family's back together.
Ha. You and me both.
Audrey: Hardy residence.
Audrey: Oh, Simone. I'm so glad you called. You know, Steve and I are hoping that you and Tommy will stop by sometime today. And it would really make the day for Steve if he could watch the end of the game with Tommy.
Simone: Of course. About 4:30?
Audrey: We'll look forward to it.
Simone: See you then. They were expecting us.
Well, we'll be through in plenty of time for you to make it. And you'll bring Tommy back here afterwards.
Unless, of course, tom can mastermind an alternate plan.
I know he set this up.
I don't think so. Audrey really thought we were coming. And the truth is, it is kind of a tradition.
[Door buzzer rings]
Hello, happy thanksgiving. But it's not really happy at all. I need to see my councilman. Oh. I guess you're not really my councilman, are you? Well, it doesn't matter. You're the one I know best. Listen, I need to talk to you about talking to the P.C.P.D. About a missing person.
You've never met him?
Of course, socially.
Justus: I haven't had the pleasure. Well, what is it exactly that you'd like me to do?
I want you to please call the police commissioner and tell him he has to put out an all-points bulletin for him.
Do this, Justus.
Justus: Do you have a description of this duck?
Yes. Actually, I can do better than that. I have a picture of him. Here. Right here.
Ooh, boy. This is one handsome duck.
I think so.
Well, I'll get right on the phone and see what I can work out.
Oh, thank you.
Would you like to join us for thanksgiving dinner?
Oh, Simone. That's so nice. But no, I can't. I mean, it's getting cold out there. It's getting dark, the temperature's dropping. I've got to keep looking. I've got to go. Oh, by the way, what's Mary Mae serving for dinner?
Turkey, of course.
Oh. Tell Mary Mae that she has a heart of gold and a soul that is just beautiful. Ta.
I'm calling! I'm going to call. I'm just trying to figure out the best way to approach this. Officer. This is councilman ward. I need an APB on a missing duck.
Ha ha ha!
Here you are, darling.
Ooh, thank you.
Dinner is served.
Is it all right if I skip dinner tonight? I'm not really in the mood for duck.
You know, as much as I adore duck, I don't think I could eat one, either.
You know, I am so relieved. I didn't know how I was going to be able to ask for just vegetables.
Now, this is ridiculous.
No, no, Grandfather. I admit I'm a sucker for Lucy anytime, but this is different. If I swallow a mouthful of duck, I think I'd choke.
Of course, you'd feel that way. Hmm? All right, Ned? What about you?
Uh, I think I have to side with Lois on this one.
I quite agree. And I believe that makes a quorum. Uh, Reginald? You know what to do.
Is he here?
He is here.
No, no. He's not. I'm sorry, Lucy.
Well, then, how did you know who I was talking about?
Mac told me.
Mac told you? I knew it. I knew Katherine wasn't as innocent as she pretended to be.
No, no, no. All he said was Sigmund is missing.
Oh. Well, where is he?
Well, how would I know?
Don't yell at me.
I'm not yelling. Tell you what. Let's start over. Come in, sit down, get warm. Have a glass of wine with me and we'll figure out how to find Sigmund, all right?
I've been out there for hours. I have been searching everywhere. And everywhere I go, everybody is having duck. I'm so worried about him.
Well, so am I. I spent all afternoon driving the streets, and the longer I went without a sighting, I felt like--
I know. You felt like your mind was going to go crazy with all the horrible, terrible things that could have happened to him.
I know. But I realized that that was only feeding my own fear and I wasn't doing Sigmund any good. And I realized that the best thing to do was to just come home and wait for first light.
Of course. Sigmund likes to be up with the dawn. So if he's wandering the streets of port Charles, the best time to spot him is when he's out looking for some breakfast.
Do you really think so?
I know so. We'll start first thing in the morning. I'll call Mac and Felicia, maybe they can help out.
Oh, Mac and Felicia don't care.
Yes, they do. Like I care. We'll find him. I promise.
Thank you. I didn't expect this.
Why not? Haven't you heard a single thing I've said? Besides, I feel like Sigmund is my dependent, too.
Lucy: It's hard, isn't it? I mean, you can't really call him a pet. I find that so demeaning. I don't even think of him as a pet.
A pal, maybe?
Lucy: Yeah, maybe for you. But for me, he's-he's become my substitute child.
Actually, I have paternal feelings for Sigmund, too.
Now, that is a very good Beaujolais.
You know, maybe you should get an unlisted doorbell.
Ha ha. My turn. Robin. Hi.
Wow. You're frozen.
Well, I thought it was such a beautiful day outside, so I decided to take a walk. And I didn't even realize how cold it was 'till I'd started walking. And I'd already decided on my destination. But I just want to tell you I love you. And I wanted to, um wish you both happy thanksgiving.
Well, I'm glad you did. And I know he hasn't said it, but he's been missing you, too.
Mm. Ming dynasty?
Would I order from anyplace else?
Since you're dating my uncle, you should definitely know that Scorpios have a serious genetic weakness for Chinese food. I mean, we can find a good restaurant anywhere. And we always know what to order.
So I've learned.
Mm. Heaven. Nothing sonny cooked last night even compares to this.
You know, I want to thank you for including me. That party was--well, it was really something I'll never forget.
Thank you for coming. Uncle Mac's right. You are kind of fun to have around.
How is stone today?
He's happy. He's not very strong, though. I woke up this morning and I was just laying next to him listening to him breathe. I don't think it's going to be much longer.
Mm. I'd better be getting back. [Indistinct] Been cooking all day. Thanks a lot.
You know? Here. Take my car. Take my car. Oh, boy. You know how good it is to be able to say something like that? I mean, after the small fortune we spent on cab fare the last year? The fact that you can drive yourself is definite cause to give thanks.
[Scoffs] I'll second that. Uh, will you come by the penthouse later?
Uh, yeah. Katherine will drop me by later tonight.
Thanks for everything, Katherine.
Sure. Anytime. Anytime.
All right, see ya.
Wow, the dinner is all gone.
Our guests ate it.
No, I think it was your guests. Everybody who came to see you.
I'm not. It really was the best day, just watching you be a friend, an uncle, a pal. You know? I even enjoyed Lucy. Just the way you give your time and your strength...and your Peking duck. I'm awed. And I am so thankful to have you in my life.
It goes both ways. I am sorry about the food, though.
Well, it's not a total loss. I'm sure we can think of something interactive to do with all that plum sauce.
I love plum sauce.
Ha ha ha.
Lucy: Sigmund? Sigmund? Sigmund? Oh, Sigmund. Sigmund, Sigmund, Sigmund. Oh, my little baby. You're ok. Oh, you're ok, you're all right. Mwah, mwah, mwah. Oh, Sigmund. Don't ever, ever, ever do this to your mommy again. Do you hear me? Don't ever do this to me. Oh. Wait a minute. You set this up, didn't you? You knew he was here all along.
On the contrary, Lucy. I had nothing to do with this. Seems to me that, uh, Sigmund was responding to the oldest instinct of all.
Lucy: You're in love? He's in love? What am I going to do? I can't just take two ducks home tonight.
Why don't you just leave them here tonight?
No. No. It's freezing out.
Well, they have their love to keep them warm.
Lucy, Sigmund and... Billy will be fine. You can pick them up again in the morning. Lucy, will you give this duck a break?
Ok. Sigmund, one night of abandoned, wild passion, ok? And then you're back home with mommy. Right.
[Quacking] Enjoy. Well, I'll see you tomorrow. 'Bye, doc.
[Chattering and laughing]
Dinner is served.
[All talking at once]
For Pete's sake, Lila. What now?
Edward, the song.
Ooh. Oh, of course. All right, people, here. Come on. Come on. Here we go.
Here we go. Tradition, here we are. All: We gather together to ask the lord's blessing he chastens and hastens his will to make known the wicked oppressing now cease from distressing sing praises to his name he forgets not his own
We gather together to ask the lord's blessing he chastens and hastens his will to make known the wicked oppressing now cease from distressing sing praises to his name he forgets not his own
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