Days Transcript Monday 9/30/13

Days of Our Lives Transcript Monday 9/30/13


Episode #12180 ~ Nicole's news stuns Eric; an unlikely voice of reason interrupts Will & Sonny's arguing.

Provided By Suzanne

Will: All I'm saying is you should have told me about this, and you didn't, Sonny. That's on you.

Sonny: You do not get to come here and start bitching to me.

Will: I'm not.

Sonny: After everything that I've put up with from you.

Will: Excuse me. What exactly are talking about? What have you been putting up with from me?

Sonny: Really? Really? I hope you have nowhere to go real soon, because this might take some time.

Will: Well, it's nice to know you're making a list of everything that's wrong with me. I'm sure that took years.

Sonny: No, will, you are frickin' perfect.

Will: I'm not saying that I'm perfect! I'm saying this is about--

EJ: I thought you two were a little bit more mature than this... though, I suppose, clearly I was wrong.

Kate: Hi.

Gabi: Oh, Kate, hi.

Kate: Are you waiting to see Rafe?

Gabi: Yeah, but he's with his physical therapist.

Kate: When isn't he? [Chuckles]

Gabi: I know. You came to see him too?

Kate: Um, no. I have a board meeting, actually. Your brother has made it pretty clear he doesn't want me hovering.

Gabi: Mm. Have you made it clear how you feel about him?

Jordan: All right. The orderly will be here any minute to help you back into bed. You did good with the leg lifts today. I think we'll try putting ten-pound weights on your ankles tomorrow. I guess I'll go see what's keeping the orderly. Okay, enough with the silent treatment. What's bugging you?

Nicole: Uh-oh. Don't tell me JJ and Jennifer are driving you to drink during the day.

Daniel: No, no, just coffee.

Nicole: What's going on?

Daniel: You know what? Ask Jennifer. I'm staying out of it.

Nicole: That's probably a good move.

Daniel: Yeah, I guess.

Nicole: Listen, um, I'm glad I ran into you. There's, um... something else I'd like to talk to you about.

Daniel: All right. What's up?

Nicole: It's Eric. Can you just tell me how he's doing?

Brady: It still hurts me to know how you preyed upon me... and that I was attacked to further your plan. I mean, even with all the love in the world, how do you trust someone after that? How do you move on with someone, knowing that they wanted to harm you? You all right? What is wrong with you?

Eric: No, I'm fine. It's just that I-I remembered something I forgot to do, so... I won't be long.

[Door closes]

Brady: Are you buying that? He didn't look fine at all.

Daniel: Why are you hitting me up for information? If you want to know what's going on with Eric, just ask Eric.

Nicole: I can't, okay?

Daniel: Wait. Did he tell you he can't talk about it?

Nicole: No.

Daniel: No? Really? 'Cause the Nicole I know wouldn't stop until she got him to open up.

Nicole: Right. And that same Nicole knows when to cut her losses.

Eric: I was so close... so close that I lost it again. [Sighs]

Brady: I'm gonna go find him.

Kristen: Eric's gonna be just fine.

Brady: Hey, what-- hold on a send

Kristen: Look, I need-- please, I need to know what you were getting at before he left, because it sounded to me like you were saying that all the efforts we made to try to work things out was just nothing. Is that what you were saying?

Brady: What are you--

[Door opens]

Brady: Hey. What's going on? Are you okay?

Eric: Yes, I am now.

Brady: Well, you-- y-you're still really pale.

Eric: Oh, well, I'm fine. Like I said, I... I just needed a moment alone.

Brady: What, did I get too intense for you or...?

Eric: Oh, no, it wasn't that. I just... I apologize.

Brady: For what?

Eric: For abruptly leaving like that and walking in without even knocking.

Brady: Eric, you-- forget about that. It's--it's not a big deal. But seriously, what just happened there?

Eric: I'm not sure. It was, uh...

Kristen: Why are you looking at me like that?

Eric: I'm sorry. I... I didn't realize. I was just... something struck me.

EJ: Now, if you two want to go and have a fight, that's fine, but you do not do it in front of her.

Sonny: We were arguing for about two minutes. I think she's gonna be just fine.

EJ: What's wrong with the two of you, hmm? You guys usually put on such a united front.

Will: Nick is sleeping with Gabi, and genius here did not tell me about it.

EJ: You kept that from William? Why would you do something like that, after the way Nick's behaved?

Sonny: Yeah, that's me. I lie about important stuff just for the hell of it.

Will: I know-- why did you do it, then?

Sonny: Because she said if I told you about her and Nick, she was gonna move out and take the baby.

Will: No.

Sonny: Now, since you two seem to know everything, what would you do in that situation?

Kate: Gabi, you know that I care about you. But I am not in the habit of being lectured about my emotions from twentysomethings.

Gabi: You said you and Rafe broke up right before that guy put him in the hospital, right?

Kate: Yes, that's true. Why are we having this conversation?

Gabi: Well, because he's been here for weeks, and you just keep checking up on him, and I know it's because you still care.

Kate: Of course I care. He was almost beaten to death. He still can't walk, Gabi.

Gabi: I think it's more than that. And if you think that it's weird to hear this from someone like me, think about how scary it is for someone like me to say it to someone like you.

Kate: Okay, then why are you doing it?

Gabi: Because my brother is the greatest guy on earth, but he's still a guy.

Kate: Believe me, I've noticed.

Gabi: Look, he can explain and infield-fly rule so that a two-year-old can understand it. But when it comes to talking about his feelings, he's pretty clueless.

Kate: You know, I never really thought-- I thought it was about him being clueless. I thought it was more that he didn't like to talk things to death. And I-I really like that in a man.

Gabi: Okay, well, maybe that's why you two were so happy when you were together.

Kate: If we looked happy, it's because we were happy.

Gabi: Okay. Is Rafe happy with the way things are now?

Kate: I don't know.

Gabi: That's my point.

Rafe: Jordan, I'm beat, all right? You worked me ass off today. Nothing's bugging me.

Jordan: Well, you worked hard and made real progress. I guess I thought you'd be happier.

Rafe: Happier? Okay. Listen, I used to bench-press 250 pounds. You expect me to be happy because I'm lifting my leg six inches off the floor?

Jordan: That's a huge achievement.

Rafe: Wow. Do you realize that's the first truly encouraging thing you may have said to me?

Jordan: I'm a physical therapist, not a cheerleader. And this shouldn't be about me. It's supposed to be about you wanting to be the man you used to be.

Rafe: Well, okay. Well, then I guess that's the mistake that I've made, because I thought you were supposed to be some sort of coach, and, uh... well, all the coaches I had, the good ones anyway, um, they always let me know what they were thinking. I don't know what you're thinking... not at all.

Jordan: I-I'm thinking that you're doing an amazing job...

Rafe: Yeah?

Jordan: And that I'm really happy about that.

Rafe: Really happy? That is what you said?

Jordan: Trust me.

Rafe: Huh. Well, how about that? First a little joke, then an admission of feelings... maybe she's not a robot after all.

Daniel: Okay, let me get this straight. You want to know how Eric's doing, but yet you refuse to ask yourself?

Nicole: [Chuckles awkwardly] It's not that I refuse. Look, can we not do this little dance? Can't you just tell me what I want to know? Ugh, forget it. That's what I get for caring about someone.

Daniel: Ah, you care... just not enough to go talk to the guy, which I really don't get.

Nicole: Even if I explained it to you, I still don't think you'd get it.

Daniel: Maybe I do.

Kristen: Could you please be more specific? I mean, exactly what were you struck by?

Eric: It was what you were saying.

Kristen: Yeah, I was struck by that too, but I think in an entirely different way.

Brady: Wait. Why are you upset?

Kristen: Shouldn't I be? I mean, obviously we've upset father Eric. He's uncomfortable. I find this whole situation to be very fraught and very difficult. And--and it's overwhelming. Okay, I'm overwhelmed. And I'm sorry we wasted your time.

Brady: Kristen, please-- come on, sit down.

Kristen: No, I don't want to sit down.

Brady: It's important. Sit down, please. Please.

Kristen: What?

Brady: I know this is difficult, all right? It is for everybody. T it's also important for us and our future. You know that, and I know that. So, yes, we are gonna waste some more of Eric's time, because I'm not done. I was asking how you get past someone saying "I love you" to your face and then planning to stab you in the back.

Kristen: Yeah, I remember. I remember that.

Brady: Well, I can answer my own question. See, I really thought about it. And, uh, why would you have cared about me in the beginning? Why wouldn't you use me as a pawn in your little revenge game? Because I had an agenda too. It was a hateful one. I wanted her gone. I wanted her out of everyone's life. Then I got to know her. She made me laugh. And she made me feel alive again. I forgot about my agenda... 'cause I fell in love with you... just like you did... with me. I-I think it happened to me sooner than it did for you, but the process was the same. But I was so screwed up at the time that I didn't think that her being in love with me could be more important than getting even. She begged me for understanding. She opened her heart to me. She tried to tell me how she felt. And I wasn't about to listen. I shut you out. All I'm trying to say is, Kristen... you deserve much better.

Will: Okay, I'm a-- I'm a jackass.

Sonny: Yeah, you are a jackass.

Will: I'm sorry. I should've known that you wouldn't keep anything from me without a good reason. So... I'm sorry. Can she do that, by the way? Can she take, um... can she take her and just leave?

EJ: There's not a law that says she has to live with the father of her child.

Will: Okay, okay. This is what I've been saying. Nick is doing it again.

Sonny: Just relax.

Will: He's controlling her again.

Sonny: He's not doing that. I figured out what she was doing, and I called her on it, okay? She probably just said the first thing that came to her mind.

Will: Did she take it back? No? No, she didn't, so...

Sonny: Well, what did she say when you walked in on them?

Will: She didn't say anything, because I almost killed him.

Sonny: So she didn't say she was gonna leave with the baby?

Will: Not to me, but she said it to you.

Sonny: She said it to me 'cause she wanted me to be quiet and not tell you. I'm sure she didn't mean it.

EJ: That seems like a pretty generous interpretation of her motives.

Will: Yeah, I think--I think too generous.

Sonny: I'm just--I'm trying to see it from her point of view, is what I'm doing.

Will: Why?

Sonny: Because she is a new mom, and she's trying to finish school. And the brother she's counting on is laid up in the hospital, okay? And the two people who should be there for her, us, are too busy doing other things, and we're not pitching in.

EJ: Do you think that she's feeling isolated, Sonny?

Sonny: I think she's feeling lonely, is what I think. And I think she was thinking, remembering the last time she cared about someone, and boom. Nick's on her doorstep, and that's who she turned to.

Will: The only problem with that, Sonny, is that the person that she's turning to is a nutjob.

Kate: I'm only gonna stay a few minutes because, actually, I have a board meeting, but, um, I thought maybe we could talk.

Rafe: You don't ever need an excuse to come see me, you know.

Kate: I know that. Now, you are in a good mood. Did therapy go well?

Rafe: Eh, you know. But, uh... well, I guess I'm not taking things for granted like I used to, you know... like being able to lift my legs. So now that I can do that again, it's a real high.

Kate: Well, that's wonderful.

Rafe: Yeah, well, Jordan says it's the first step toward me actually walking again.

Kate: So she's encouraging.

Rafe: [Chuckles] Yeah, well, she actually said she was happy for me, if you can believe that.

Kate: [Laughs] Yeah, she's been so businesslike.

Rafe: Yeah. No, she's starting to change. I actually think I'm starting to get through to the woman.

Nicole: And just what do you think you get?

Daniel: You want to know if Eric's all right because you are ready to move on.

Nicole: Can't put anything past you, can I?

Daniel: Yeah, sharp as a bowling ball, this one right here. I don't know. It just seems like it's been a really good healing time for you, working with Eric.

Nicole: I guess you could say that, yeah.

Daniel: But also a retreat from the real world.

Nicole: The real world didn't exactly seem like a friendly place.

Daniel: Okay, this can't be easy for you. I mean, Eric has been a really good mentor to you.

Nicole: You have no idea. [Chuckles]

Daniel: What? Wait. What is this?

Nicole: It's a business card from a TV producer. He said I could have my job back whenever I wanted. I just didn't think anyone in the TV world would give me a second chance, and... what? What?

Daniel: Nothing. I am happy for you.

Nicole: All right, don't play me. Seriously, do you... do you think that I'm deserting Eric in his hour of need?

Daniel: No. But I'm a little worried about you.

Brady: So how do you get over the feeling of being betrayed? You have to ask yourself-- is the misery of the past more important than the happiness of the present? In my humble opinion... you need to learn to let things go... 'cause that's a lot easier than trying to live life without the person you love. I will do anything, whatever it takes, to not lose this woman. I love you that much. I love you so much. You are my love. You are my soul mate. And I thank God for you every day. [Breathes deeply] And that's all I got. How'd I do?

Kristen: You really meant all of that? [Mouths word]

Brady: Every word. Every word.

EJ: If Nick causes you any more problems, you know where to find me.

Will: Thanks.

EJ: William, do yourself a favor. Listen to Sonny.

Will: Yeah.

EJ: Okay? Talking to Gabi is definitely the right way to go forward.

Will: I think so too.

EJ: Good. I do not wish anything other than harmony and fun at my wedding.

Will: What? You're going through with that?

EJ: Yeah. I mean, we were planning it until your mother was arrested. Now that she's being released, of course we are.

Will: Oh. Have you set a date?

EJ: No, but I am taking Samantha and the children away with me to Chicago this evening. So maybe have a family meeting, see if we can come up with something.

Sonny: You're gonna take the kids? After the long trial, I thought that you and Sami would like some alone time.

EJ: The trip's a surprise, anyway, so... okay? It's a much needed escape for all of us. You guys take care. No more fighting, okay?

Will: All right. I'm sorry.

Sonny: I'm sorry. Come here. Ahh, I love you so much.

Will: I love you too.

Kristen: I'm sorry about the way I acted before. I didn't understand.

Brady: That's okay. I wanted to get everything out on the table.

Kristen: Yeah, I get it now. I don't have any more doubts.

Eric: Seems like a very good place to wind up this meeting.

Kristen: Yeah, I have to run.

Brady: What do you mean you have to run? Where are you going?

Kristen: I know. I've got a really important appointment, and I can't miss it.

Both: Mm.

Brady: Wow.

Kristen: Thank you.

Eric: That's what I'm here for.

Daniel: I remember when you first started working for father Eric. I was like, "what? Seriously? Come on."

Nicole: Why?

Daniel: I don't know. I just don't have to remind you of what kind of shape you were in at that point. And I just wasn't sure being an assistant to a parish priest was gonna... I don't know--fill the void.

Nicole: I felt safe there.

Daniel: And look at you now. You got television moguls throwing themselves at your feet.

Nicole: Not quite.

Daniel: I don't know. I think this working for Eric-- I think it's been kind of A... blessing. But I would hate to see you stop feeling safe.

Nicole: You sound like Eric when you say things like that.

Daniel: Um, well, you have been a huge help to father Eric. But you--see, you got something else in return.

Nicole: [Chuckles] Right, minimum wage.

Daniel: Oh, no, that's not what I mean. This experience has made a huge difference in your life. Look at you. You got the hair and the dress and--come on.

Nicole: So what? What--you don't think I'm gonna backslide without him? I mean, without it--the job.

Daniel: No. No, I'm just asking you to think about what you really want.

[Pager ringing]

Daniel: Well, it looks like my break is over. Um, and if you ever want to talk some more, you just... you just call me. Okay?

Nicole: Thank you. [Scoffs] Think about what I want. Are you kidding? That's the whole problem. Don't just live with your kitchen.

Will: I'm sorry again.

Sonny: Hey, no, no. It's over. It's in the past now.

Will: Okay. You know, I would sometime like to see that list of everything I've done to piss you off.

Sonny: Maybe next time we fight.

Will: I hope there's not a next time.

Sonny: Every couple fights.

Will: Not every couple-- my parents.

Sonny: [Scoffs] Yeah.

Will: [Laughs] Yeah. Oh, no. Looks like the zoo's gonna have to wait. I guess we're gonna get ready to go home, then. What should I do about Gabi?

Sonny: I think you should just text her, tell her to meet us at home, and then we'll figure it out together.

Will: Okay.

Gabi: Hi. I'm Rafe's sister.

Jordan: I know.

Gabi: I was just in there talking to him. He's pretty psyched about working with you.

Jordan: I'm sure he's glad to be making progress and moving again.

Gabi: Oh, you didn't know him before. He, like, never stopped.

Jordan: Be supportive. It really helps.

Gabi: So do you only work with my brother?

Jordan: What do you mean?

Gabi: Well, I never see you around.

Jordan: I'm new in town. I don't really know anybody. I have to go. I forgot to book my physical-therapy room for my patients tomorrow.

Gabi: What's with her?

[Cell phone ringing]

Gabi: "Can we meet at the apartment to talk?" Oh, God, what now?

Kate: So you and Jordan are becoming friends?

Rafe: Frie-- uh, hmm. [Chuckles] I don't know about friends. Physical therapy is really a drag unless you feel like you're getting somewhere. And the only person who can tell me if I'm getting somewhere is Jordan. And, well, I think I made her see that.

Kate: Well, that's good. I think that's good. Maybe she won't be so cold and impersonal anymore, right?

Rafe: Well, I said she's starting to loosen up.

Kate: Well, I think that's lovely.

Rafe: Yeah. Sorry, I'm going on and on about me. What's up? You said you wanted to talk.

Kate: Um, no. It's no problem. I mean, it really-- it wasn't very important anyway. Um, I have to get to the board meeting. So keep up the good work. I really am happy for you.

Rafe: All right.

[Door closes]

Eric: You know, I was very moved, impressed by the things that you said and how Kristen reacted.

Bra: Does that mean we're finally gonna be able to break you down, and you're gonna bless our union, hmm?

Eric: [Chuckles] I think I better ask God for his help and see what's best for the brother I love.

Brady: Which means you're not.

Eric: I can't... not yet.

Brady: Why?

Eric: Kristen.

Daniel: Hey, what are you doing here?

Kristen: Well, after we last saw each other, I went ahead and made an appointment with Dr. Dunstall. I've already had my initial evaluation.

Daniel: Wow. So you're going ahead with the fertility treatments?

Kristen: Well, it depends if he thinks it might work.

Daniel: Congratulations. That's--that's great.

Kristen: Well, not yet. I mean, I still have a lot of strikes against me. But given how Brady and I feel about each other, I think it's worth a shot, right?

Daniel: It is.

Gabi: Where's Arianna?

Will: Oh, I just gave her some food, and then I, uh, put her down for a nap.

Gabi: You wanted to talk. I didn't know you were gonna bring backup.

Will: Listen, I don't want to get into another fight. I just want to-- I think we should just talk.

Gabi: About you and Nick?

Will: Well, about all of us. And I want to go first and say that I'm sorry for-- for acting the way that I did, for owing up. But I think you understand why I did.

Gabi: Yeah. I get that. Maybe that's why I was so anxious about will finding out. I-I didn't--I didn't want-- I didn't want you to go crazy, okay? And I probably didn't want to hear anything that you had to say. And I wasn't ready to answer your questions because I probably wasn't ready to even answer mine.

Sonny: Are you ready to do that now?

Gabi: Um, so, somehow, after our annulment, Nick and I stayed friends. And that would've never happened if I really believed that he was bigoted against the two of you. And he knows that what he tried to do was wrong... but we also know what made him do what he did.

Will: Yeah, w-we do. Um, but I'm sure you can see that that does not make me want to trust him with my daughter, you know? I mean, he's still messed up.

Sonny: Yeah, I mean, will-- he's right...

Will: Thank you.

Sonny: Gabi, you know. And Nick also hurt you. That's why we're concerned.

Gabi: I know, I know. But I don't know. Maybe it's hormones. Maybe I'm not sleeping enough. I just felt very sad and lonely. And I just felt like... like all I am now is Arianna's mom, okay? Like I'm not me anymore. And Nick was there. And he was friendly and sweet. And I don't know. It just happened. But... I thought about it, okay? I thought about it. And it's not something I want for myself. I just have to figure out a way to tell Nick that it's not gonna happen for us. And it's not because the two of you talked me into it, okay? I needed to step back and think about it, okay? I needed to figure out what to do for myself.

Will: Well, I, um... I'm sorry. I wish that you had told me that.

Gabi: Well, it's not something easy to say.

Will: Yeah, of course.

Gabi: And I guess that you heard that I was threatening to take Arianna and move somewhere else. And I'm very, very sorry about that. You have to believe me. I would've never done it. I mean, you really have to believe me.

Arianna: [Crying]

Will: Um, I do. I do. I'm so sorry. I, uh--she probably just lost her pacifier or something.

[Door opens]

Arianna: [Crying]

[Door closes]

Gabi: You two are, uh... you're always so together... on the same page about everything. I wonder what that's like.

Sonny: It's a lot different than you think, Gabi.

Eric: Kristen was able to convince you that she was deeply in love with you when she was planning to destroy you. I think she'd be able to do it now that she says her feelings are for real.

Brady: Yeah, well, I'm already convinced. I'm starting to believe that there's nothing Kristen could do to convince you of that. But you know what? I don't want to argue with you, so I got to go anyway. I got a meeting at the hospital. Eric... what really made you leave earlier?

Eric: I thought you said you had a meeting to get to.

Brady: You're still trying to piece together what happened to you that night at the hotel, aren't you?

Eric: Yeah.

Brady: Did you talk to Nicole?

Eric: I tried.

Brady: All right, well, try again. She was there, all right? Just talk to her, okay?

Eric: Okay, I will.

Brady: Don't worry about it. You're gonna be fine. The answers are out there somewhere.

[Door closes]

Daniel: Wow.

Kristen: Anyway, I got to get going.

Daniel: Yeah, yeah. But you're seeing Dunstall again, right?

Kristen: Oh, yeah, I already made my next appointment. If you could've told me months ago that I'd be doing this now, I would've said, "you're nuts."

Daniel: Well, I am nuts. But whatever got you to this point, don't stop. Don't question it.

Kristen: I'm not going to. I'm not gonna question, not anymore.

Daniel: Okay.

Kristen: Thank you for your support. It's nice.

Daniel: You're welcome. Absolutely. All right, well, I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Kristen: Please.

Daniel: All right. Wow. Mm. Ah, Kristen! Kri--

[Door slams]

EJ: Did I wake you up? Sorry.

Gabi: Will must be having trouble getting her back to sleep.

Sonny: Hey, you know, I'm having this Oktoberfest at the club. And it'd great if you could-- if you could make it.

Gabi: Yeah, I'm going. Cameron just asked me.

Sonny: That's great.

Gabi: You didn't have anything to do with that, did you?

Sonny: What?

Gabi: No, no, don't do that.

Sonny: What? I'm not-- I'm not doing anything.

Gabi: No, yes, you are. Cameron's your friend. Und until now, he didn't even know I existed, except as a patient or Rafe's little sister. And all of a sudden, we have a date?

Sonny: Okay, fine. I-I did talk to him.

Gabi: Sonny!

Sonny: I kept it casual.

Gabi: Oh, I bet. Yeah, I probably could hear you now. "Oh, she's such a charity case. That poor girl--she's so desperate."

Sonny: I-I don't know exactly what I said. But I did say that... you were a very nice girl and that you deserve a very nice guy.

Gabi: Did you really say that?

Sonny: I really said that, yeah.

Gabi: That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me. Yeah, I'm gonna have to figure out this weird relationship that you and I have.

Sonny: Yeah, yeah. I mean, me too.

Gabi: But not now, right? Okay, not now.

Sonny: Yeah, no, not--

Gabi: Okay, great. See ya later.

Rafe: What the hell do you want now?

EJ: From you? Nothing. I just came to tell you how happy the children and I are to have Samantha back with us-- one big happy family.

Rafe: Ah, good for you.

EJ: It is good for me. It almost didn't happen, though. Your testimony nearly put Samantha in prison.

Rafe: You done?

EJ: Nope. It wasn't very good for you, was it... your testimony? It rather tarnished your reputation as the white knight of Salem. Tell me something-- what was it like for you to sit there and admit under oath that you lied for months to keep me from knowing Samantha was carrying my child... hmm? I mean, you, standard-bearer for truth, justice and the American way. Samantha and I could barely stand to listen to it. It must've been humiliating for you too, though, I would imagine... though probably not as humiliating as being stuck in this bed day after day... like an impotent little child.

Nicole: Hey.

Eric: Hey, Nicole. Hey, come in, please. I'm glad you're here.

Nicole: Great. Why?

Eric: 'Cause we haven't had a conversation about what happened that night at the hotel.

Nicole: Oh, yeah. Uh, I can't do that right now.

Eric: Why? What's wrong?

Nicole: Well, it's just that I have, you know, something to do.

Eric: What? What do you have to do?

Nicole: Leave. I have to leave.

Daniel: Hey, Kristen. It's Daniel Jonas. Can you give me a call when you got a minute? Great. Thanks.

Brady: You calling Kristen, buddy?

Daniel: Uh, yeah. Well, I just wanted to let her know something. No big deal.

Brady: Oh, tell me, tell me. I'm gonna see her in a little bit.

Daniel: Well, I would, but the truth of the matter is, it's really none of your business.

Brady: None of-- are you kidding me? What, do you got a secret or something?

Daniel: A while back, you reminded me the difference between secrecy and privacy. I'm asking you to respect hers.

Sarah: [Sighs] I got your message. What do you want?

Kristen: Hi. Do you recognize your handiwork?

Sarah: Takes a genius editor to put that much sex on such a little piece of plastic.

Kristen: [Chuckles] You're funny. I don't need it anymore. So I want you to destroy it permanently, okay? Once this little sex tape is wiped clean, it will be gone forever. Yay.

Sarah: [Scoffs] I would love to help you out. Problem is, this isn't the right h ash drive.

Kristen: What are you talking about?

Sarah: This isn't the right flash drive.

Kristen: Okay, you're joking, right?

Sarah: I am dead serious.

Kristen: Oh, my God, no. Oh, my God. No, this can't be happening.

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