[an error occurred while processing this directive] Days Transcript Tuesday 4/1/08 [an error occurred while processing this directive]
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Days of Our Lives Transcript Tuesday 4/1/08 - Canada; Wednesday 4/2/08 - U.S.A.

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Provided By Eric
Proofread By Niki

Dr. Rolf: [Sighs] [Clears throat] [American accent] "Betty butter had some butter. But she said, 'this butter's bitter. If I bake this bitter butter, it would make my batter bitter. But a bit of better butter, that would make my batter better.'" [Sighs] [Normal voice] Ach du lieber. What the hell is wrong with this Betty? She has nothing better to think about? Oh, throw out your spoiled butter, you dummkopf. What kind of idiot needs to be told this?

John: Don't give up, Rolf. You're doing great.

Dr. Rolf: This book is causing me brain damage. No, no, look. Look, uh... [American accent] "She sells seashells by the seashore." [Normal voice] What kind of a crazy business plan is that? You might as well just sell ice to the Eskimos. No, please, please, I beg you. Stop this madness.

John: Not until you lose that accent. It gets on my nerves.

Dr. Rolf: Have you ever considered that the way you talk gets on my nerves?

John: That may be true, but

you can't send me to jail. I, however, can send you back to prison faster than you can say "rubber baby buggy bumper." Lose the accent.

Dr. Rolf: [Sighs] Look, what is it you want from me?

John: I don't see any reason why I shouldn't experience the finer things in life. I've been told that Victor Kiriakis has a valet. Henderson, I believe his name is -- cool, confident, efficient, does everything. That's what I want.

Dr. Rolf: But I am already doing that.

John: Yes, but like the tongue twister, I need a better butler, not a bitter butler.

Dr. Rolf: [Clears throat] As you wish.

John: Well done.

Dr. Rolf: Danke. Oh, by the way, while you were at the gym, a man called. He said a new shipment from Kiriakis will be at the docks tomorrow.

John: Another Kiriakis shipment that will never make it out of Customs -- again.

Dr. Rolf: Why are you being so competitive with the Kiriakis family? This is not a family you want to have as enemies.

John: It's simple, really. I was looking over the DiMera holdings. The easiest way to double them is by gaining a monopoly on the shipyards and the docks. It's not personal. It's simply business.

Dr. Rolf: I have a feeling that Philip and Victor will make this personal. [Doorbell rings]

John: Answer the door.

Dr. Rolf: [Sighs] Not so long ago, I was a brilliant scientist, figuring out the puzzles of the universe.

John: Things change. Now you're just a mediocre butler trying to figure out who's at my front door.

Dr. Rolf: Hmm. Hmm.

John: Hmm.

Dr. Rolf: Oh, it's you.

Marlena: I was going to say the same thing to you, Rolf.

Dr. Rolf: Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. I, uh -- I have to announce you.

Marlena: Announce me?

Dr. Rolf: [Clears throat] Excuse me, sir. You have a visitor -- Dr. Marlena Evans.

John: Show her in.

Dr. Rolf: Yes, sir. She's already in.

John: I can see that. So, Blondie... what are you doing visiting me?

Philip: It looks like we're gonna have more trouble with John Black down at the docks.

Victor: Well, he's getting to be a real thorn in our side. Well, I'm sure you can take care of it, Philip.

Philip: I will. Chloe. You look lovely tonight.

Chloe: Thank you.

Victor: Hello, Chloe.

Chloe: Good evening, Victor. [Footsteps approaching]

Victor: Ah, there she is. So great to see you up and about, Chelsea. Here -- let me pull your chair out for you.

Chelsea: Thank you.

Victor: There we go. Are you comfortable?

Chelsea: Yes. Thank you.

Victor: How about some water?

Chelsea: Okay. Would you like a pillow?

Chelsea: You really don't need to fuss over me, Grandpa.

Victor: No, nonsense. I love taking care of you. It's wonderful to have such a lovely, grateful young lady brightening up my house. It makes my heart feel good.

[Doorbell rings]

Philip: It's great to have such liveliness in the house again.

Victor: And it's going to get a lot livelier. I've invited another guest.

Philip: Really? Who?

Victor: Someone we owe a great deal to. Ah, there he is. Daniel, glad you could make it.

Daniel: Well, thank you. Thanks for the invite.

Victor: Oh, pleasure.

Daniel: Phil, how you doing?

Philip: Good to see you again.

Chloe: We haven't met. I'm Chloe Black.

Daniel: Oh, nice to meet you. Um, Chelsea.

Chelsea: Hi, Dr. Jonas.

Daniel: No, no, no, no. "Daniel" or "Jonas" -- no "doctor."

Chelsea: Okay, then -- Daniel.

Victor: Please, Daniel, have a seat.

Daniel: Right here? Sounds good to me.

Marlena: I didn't actually come of my own accord. I had a call fr-- don't you have something to do?

Dr. Rolf: Not really. Not since he locked the laboratory.

Marlena: I would like to talk to John in private. I don't know why you still keep him here.

John: He's my butler. Rolf, why don't you go buttle something?

Dr. Rolf: As you wish.

John: You were saying?

Marlena: I was just saying that I don't know why you let that lunatic live in your house.

John: Well, let's put it this way -- he spent a lot of time torturing me, and now I'm torturing him.

Marlena: That's demented.

John: Not really. It's actually kind of fun. Revenge is sweet. Now, you were saying?

Marlena: Uh, wh-what?

John: You got a phone call. [Doorbell rings]

Dr. Rolf: I'll get it!

Marlena: I got a call from Sami, asking that I meet her here.

John: She invited you over to my house? You know, I've killed people for less. [Chuckles] Kidding. Anybody else she invited over here?

Dr. Rolf: You have visitors -- Ms. Sami --

Sami: Hi, Mom.

Marlena: Sami.

Sami: John.

Dr. Rolf: What's the point of me announcing people if they're going to announce themselves?

Marlena: Sami, what's going on?

Sami: Um...

E.J.: We...are in a bit of a fix.

Sami: We need your help. Mom, you and John are the only ones who can help us.

Daniel: Oh, those hors d'oeuvres were sensational, Victor -- sensational.

Chelsea: They were amazing. What was in them?

Victor: Henderson?

Henderson: The brioche was filled with caviar and dill cream, tuna tartare, and vegetable sushi. Mr. Kiriakis selected tonight's menu especially for you, Dr. Jonas.

Victor: Well, since we're celebrating Bo and Chelsea's recovery and Daniel's brilliant work, I thought we'd start with champagne, if that's all right with everyone?

Chelsea: Oh, you don't have to give me any. I'm off drinking for a while.

Chloe: I'd kill for champagne.

Philip: A little champagne sounds good to me.

Daniel: And when you got time, just swing it on over here. I'll be ready. [Chuckles] Thank you very much.

Henderson: You're welcome.

Victor: Well, tonight is a very special occasion, so I would like to propose a toast to some of our extraordinary guests. First of all, to my son Philip, who honors me by walking in my footsteps. And to my granddaughter Chelsea, who made my son Bo's recovery possible and who's healing so beautifully herself. And to Daniel, who saved both my son and my granddaughter. To all, salud.

Philip: Salud.

Chelsea: Salud.

Daniel: Salud.

Chloe: To me.

Daniel: Mmm. Wow, this is excellent.

[Doorbell rings]

Henderson: Excuse me. I'll get that, sir.

Victor: I hate being interrupted during a meal, especially one as important as this. I want tonight to be perfect.

Chelsea: It is perfect.

Daniel: It's going along. Come on, now.

Victor: Heady interruptions.

Daniel: Knock it back. You'll be fine.

Chelsea: Don't have too many.

Kate: Oh, my. Am I interrupting?

Kate: Well! Oh, no, please -- please sit. I don't want to interrupt. I just wanted to check and see how Chelsea was doing.

Victor: Well, you'll be glad to know she's doing better and better.

Kate: Oh, sweetie, I am so glad to hear that. You're even getting your color back. Look at that.

Chelsea: I'm feeling a lot better.

Victor: Why don't you join us for dinner?

Kate: No, I'm not going to impose like that.

Victor: No, it's no imposition.

Kate: No, I couldn't.

Chelsea: Come on, please?

Daniel: Come on. It's a celebration.

Philip: Mom, we'd love for you to stay.

Victor: At the very least, you'll get an excellent meal.

Chelsea: You have to stay or I'm not gonna feel better.

Daniel: Medical necessity. Now, come on.

Chelsea: See?

Kate: Okay, okay. I think I'm outnumbered here.

Chelsea: Nice work.

Kate: Thank you. Thank you, sweetie.

Philip: Pleasure.

Chelsea: So, this is good. We're all in the family together.

Daniel: And a big family it is. [Laughter] Can't keep you all straight.

Philip: Everybody's here.

Kate: Well, this looks like it's a gala evening that you're having.

Victor: It certainly is. We're celebrating Philip's excellent handling of Kiriakis shipping, Bo and Chelsea's recovery, and Daniel's surgical skills and diagnostic expertise.

Chloe: And me for just being me.

Kate: Well, it seems like it's a night we won't soon forget.

Chloe: Maybe, but I'm gonna start trying right about now.

Marlena: Sami, what exactly is going on?

Sami: Well, uh, E.J. and I met with the immigration officer again tonight at Chez Rouge, and he was a lot tougher on us this time than he was the last.

E.J.: And he was pretty demanding the first time.

Marlena: And di-- excuse me. Don't you have somewhere else you could be?

John: Here. Read this. You won't be able to put it down.

Dr. Rolf: I'd rather wait until the movie comes out.

John: Well, I hear that they show a movie once a month... in prison.

Sami: What was that?

Marlena: Don't even ask. Tell me about the immigration officer.

Sami: [Sighs] He wants to deport E.J.

John: And the problem is?

Sami: Well...

E.J.: The -- the problem is I'd be deported.

Sami: E.J. has been helping me with the twins. Lucas is in jail. So, uh, E.J. has been helping out. They need a father.

John: Maybe not. I just met my Mother recently, and I never knew my Father. Look how I turned out.

Sami: E-exactly. So, obviously, he's not going to understand. Um, maybe we should just go.

Marlena: I know you're frustrated. Give us a chance to help you.

E.J.: Okay, look -- Marlena, I've basically raised those twins with Samantha since Lucas went to jail. I love Allie. I love Johnny. And, uh, at the moment, fate is conspiring to make things really complicated.

Sami: Yeah, um, there are other circumstances, as well. I'm having trouble paying my rent, and E.J. is having the same trouble with his apartment.

E.J.: And I-I have a job. Actually, Mickey Horton very kindly offered me one. But it's gonna be a while until some money comes through.

John: So, you kids need money -- is that it? You know, all I seem to be doing lately is shelling out money to family members I don't remember having, but what the hell -- if it will get you out of my hair, it's money well spent. How much?

Marlena: No, no. I can float the children. Don't worry about it.

Sami: Um, Mom, actually, it's not really about the money. It's a little more complicated than that.

Kate: Victor, that salad was fabulous.

Daniel: Oh, incredible.

Victor: Henderson, please tell cook how pleased we all are.

Henderson: Yes, sir.

Victor: I've chosen a Chenin Blanc from Alsace for our entree.

Henderson: It's Cannelloni al Forno.

Kate: Ah.

Daniel: All right, that's it. We got to toast the host here.

Kate: Yes, we do. To Victor, who always entertains his guests with style and elegance.

Victor: Thank you. It's my pleasure.

Kate: To our host.

Daniel: To our host.

Philip: Wow. Looks like cook really outdid herself.

Daniel: Oh, yeah. This is world-class.

Chelsea: It's very good.

Victor: I'm glad you like it.

Daniel: This reminds me of a dish I had in Italy, but it's not nearly as good.

Kate: What were you doing in Italy?

Daniel: Well, I got called in on a difficult case, a very wealthy family. Their daughter was getting progressively sicker, and no one could really figure out why.

Chelsea: Did you cure her?

Victor: Of course he did.

Kate: Ah, Daniel saves the day, just like you did for us. Well, to our knight in shining armor.

Daniel: Well, I don't know about the armor, but give me some surf shorts -- I'm good to go.

Kate: To Daniel.

Chelsea: To Daniel.

Daniel: All right.

Kate: This Chenin Blanc is exquisite.

Victor: Thank you.

Kate: Daniel, you must have sampled a lot of delicious wines while you were touring Europe.

Daniel: Oh, yeah, especially France. The French -- they know how to live. Just amazing -- the wine, delicious food, and some wicked, wicked surf.

Chelsea: They surf in France?

Daniel: Oh, yeah. Definitely. Oh, yeah. Southern France has some of the best beach break in the world. La Graviere -- I mean, just gnarly tubes, really just -- really right, really quick. But I got to tell you what -- come high tide, that shore break is a total board snapper. It's over.

Chelsea: Do you have a favorite place?

Daniel: Hmm. Well, that's hard to say. No, it's all good. Yeah, it's all good. Uh, Biarritz is nice -- very nice place to visit. More long board scene, though, 'cause the waves -- they don't break as fast. Not nearly as tight. But they've got some beautiful, beautiful beaches, excellent night life, and I got to tell you one other thing -- they've got some insane casinos.

Chelsea: Did you gamble?

Daniel: Ooh, did I gamble? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I gambled and, uh, wiped out. Lost my shirt. Yeah. Luckily, you don't have to surf with a shirt, so...

Kate: Well, Victor, the food was absolutely delicious, but I need to stop or there goes my body.

Daniel: Looks like you have no worries with that body.

Victor: Daniel's right, but there is one caveat -- you have to save room for dessert. I had cook make a very special something for one of our guests -- Chelsea.

Chelsea: What is it?

Victor: Oh, I can't tell you that. You'll have to wait and see. I will give you a hint, though. Kate, what do you think would be an ideal dessert -- the perfect dessert -- for Chelsea?

Kate: Well, I guess it would have to do with chocolate.

Victor: Ha! Good guess! You know your granddaughter's taste pretty well.

Chelsea: Is it chocolate cake?

Victor: Oh, I'm not gonna tell you. You have to wait and see. You'll ruin the surprise.

Chelsea: Chocolate mousse?

Victor: Not saying a word.

Chelsea: Double chocolate chip ice cream?

Victor: My lips are sealed.

Kate: Chelsea, it's just so good to see you relaxed and smiling for a change. It really is.

Chelsea: Well, that would be because of this guy.

Kate: Victor, thank you so much for having me here. I must say, it's a lovely evening.

Daniel: Yes. Yes, it is.

Chelsea: Thank you, Grandpa. I haven't been this happy in a very long time.

Philip: This is just great, having all this family under one roof.

Chelsea: It is, isn't it?

Kate: It does feel good.

Chloe: Yeah, we're a regular "Little House On The Prairie."

Daniel: I kind of feel like family here.

Sami: Don't get me wrong. Money would certainly help. It just isn't --

E.J.: It's a little more complicated than that. You see, there's this immigration inspector called Mr. Burke, and he is, understandably, somewhat skeptical about my relationship with Samantha, and he is putting a lot of pressure on us.

Marlena: What kind of pressure?

Sami: Well, he wants us to prove that we have a real marriage, and he's also wanting to see us spend more time with our extended families.

John: Is that where I come in?

E.J.: In a way. Actually, yes, it is. I mean, you are, essentially, extended family.

Sami: And Mr. Burke is also suspicious because E.J. and I don't live together.

E.J.: He, um, has essentially said that unless we're living together that I can be deported.

Marlena: You did live together in the safe house.

Sami: Right. Yeah, well, I'm not exactly anxious to repeat that experience.

E.J.: Anyway, we, um, thought that we could solve both problems -- the issue of the extended family and the issue of us living together.

Marlena: I'm not sure what you're getting at.

Sami: Well, Mom, we were sort of hoping that we could live with you.

Marlena: You want to move in with me?

Sami: Yeah. Mom, I know it would be a huge imposition, but we think it would solve all our problems at once.

Marlena: Well, uh, I-it --

Sami: Oh, man.

E.J.: I told you this was not a good idea.

Sami: Would you just give her a chance?

Marlena: No, listen, listen, listen. The problem is the place isn't big enough. I mean, there's you and Samantha and the twins, and -- and that's four extra people.

E.J.: She's right. That's crowded.

Marlena: But if it would help, I could get a bigger place, one that would be comfortable for all of us.

Sami: Mom, you would really do that for us?

Marlena: Of course I would if it would help you out.

E.J.: Wow.

Sami: Thank you.

Marlena: I don't see that you have much of an option.

E.J.: No, I don't really see that we do. I've changed my mind.

Chelsea: This is amazing.

Victor: I hope you like it. It was made especially for you.

Chelsea: Yes, but this is, like, serious chocolate.

Victor: Henderson, you want to tell her what's in it?

Henderson: It's a double-fudge chocolate cake covered with chocolate ganache and hand-whipped cream.

Kate: Oh, utterly decadent. Mmm.

Philip: Mmm. This is good.

Daniel: Yeah, I agree.

Chelsea: I love it.

Chloe: Tastes like I've died and gone to heaven.

Chelsea: Thank you very much, Grandpa.

Victor: You're welcome. And I thought we'd do an interesting pairing of red wine along with the chocolate, so I had Henderson open a bottle of Zinfandel.

Daniel: Ah, very good combo, medically speaking.

Victor: Really?

Daniel: Oh, yeah. Dark chocolate and red wine have potent antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties, so, when taken in moderation, they can be a very, very healthy treat.

Victor: Oh, you hear that? It's medicinal. Who wants red wine with their dessert?

Kate: Well, I'm always up for something new.

Chloe: I'm up for anything, too.

Victor: And damn the consequences.

Daniel: All right, I have a confession. Chloe, I didn't mention it, but I attended one of your European performances.

Chloe: Really? Where?

Daniel: I was in Vienna giving a seminar, and one of my colleagues took me to the opera.

Chloe: Mm, Vienna. I was doing "The Magic Flute."

Daniel: Indeed you were. It was Mozart. But, I am sorry to say, I'm not a big opera buff. Found it a little confusing. But you -- you were absolutely terrific.

Chloe: Thank you. Vienna was a really wonderful experience -- mostly. But that seems like such a long time ago. I hardly sing anymore.

Daniel: No? That's a shame, 'cause you are a very talented lady.

Chloe: I appreciate your saying that. It's nice to hear a compliment for a change.

Daniel: Are you kidding? You were the talk of Vienna.

Victor: They haven't stopped talking yet.

Chloe: You know what? I'm sorry. Would you excuse me?

Chloe: I nailed it. It was perfect -- couldn't have been more on.

Philip: But?

Chloe: They didn't want me.

Philip: Why?

Chloe: They found out about my somewhat notorious, if untrue, reputation in Austria. Apparently, after I left, the gossip papers had a field day with the cops' suspicions of me about Brady's disappearance. Now I just have to live with everyone thinking I had something to do with.

Philip: But you didn't. And sooner or later, we're gonna find out what happened to him.

Chloe: Well, please, God, let it be sooner.

Philip: Listen, my Father has all of his guys scouring Austria, probably all of Europe. Now, if they can't find him, no one will -- not even Interpol.

Chloe: Interpol is worthless. They think I had something to do with it. Everyone does.

Philip: Chloe... you can't let my Dad get to you.

Chloe: He thinks I had something to do with Brady's disappearance, but I don't. When is he gonna get that?

Philip: He's not gonna stop digging until we find him.

Chloe: Well, he's digging in the wrong direction. I want Brady found as much as he does -- more.

Philip: And we will find him.

Chloe: I'm just tired of everyone pointing the finger at me. I had nothing to do with it. I am sick of the suspicion of having my name dragged through the mud.

Philip: Once we find him, you can clear your name.

Chloe: I just want my life back. Look at me. I'm a wife with no husband, an opera singer with no career.

Philip: You're gonna sing again. Now... what can I do to make things better?

Chloe: Well, for starters, you can have your father apologize to me.

Philip: My Father apologize? Are you kidding?

Chloe: No, I'm not. I want an apology.

John: You changed your mind? That was fast. Yeah, that's women for you.

E.J.: I didn't say anything!

Sami: You were thinking it.

E.J.: [Laughing] Come on.

Marlena: I realize it would help both of you to move in with me, but it just isn't a really good time. I'm busy getting my practice up to speed, and the real-estate market is so up in the air right now. I do have a good idea, I think.

E.J.: What?

Marlena: Well, the two of you need a place to stay, a lot of room, a place that's comfortable and big, and you don't have much money, so we only really have one option.

Sami: What's that?

Marlena: I think you have to move in with John.

John: Me?!

E.J.: No.

Sami: With John?

E.J.: I mean, thank you. We couldn't possibly do that.

Sami: Mom, that's not --

Victor: Please, forgive my little outburst. It was probably totally uncalled for, but I just find her presence in my home so irritating...I just can't control myself.

Kate: Victor. Victor, look, I understand you being short-tempered with Chloe. She's not exactly my favorite person either. But if you continue to insult her, you're going to drive her right into Philip's arms.

Victor: That's the last place I want her.

Kate: Exactly.

Daniel: I'm a little out of the loop here. Did I do something to set this off?

Chelsea: Oh, no, no, no. Let me try to get you up to speed. But I'm gonna warn you -- if you thought that "The Magic Flute" was confusing, my family is really confusing.

Daniel: Okay, all right, let's go for it.

Chelsea: Okay. So, my Grandpa Victor is my Dad's, dad.

Daniel: Got that.

Chelsea: My Grandma Kate is my Mom's, mom.

Daniel: Can't fully grasp that, but I'm with you.

Chelsea: So, my Grandma and my Grandpa -- they got together, and they had Philip, who just left the room after Chloe.

Daniel: Know that. Saw that.

Chelsea: Okay. Now, my Grandpa Victor doesn't particularly care for Chloe because he thinks that she is responsible for the disappearance of Brady.

Daniel: Brady?

Chelsea: Brady is Victor's grandson from another child -- not my Father but my half aunt.

Daniel: Okay, I'm completely lost here. Think I'm gonna have to meditate on this one -- or, actually, medicate. Wow.

Sami: You think we should live with --

E.J.: Thank you, obviously, but --

Sami: Let me talk to her. Mom, come here. Mom, are you crazy? You want me to live here with John? That's nuts.

Marlena: No, that isn't crazy.

Dr. Rolf: Cheese puffs?

Marlena: No, thank you.

Sami: No.

Dr. Rolf: Suit yourselves.

Sami: I rest my case.

Marlena: All right, it would be a little unconventional, this living arrangement, but it might be good for everybody.

Sami: How so?

Marlena: Because you and E.J. would have a place to stay, and John could be your extended family. I'm sure that would work for the immigration department, and it might even help John, too. I mean, the children, the twins, could help him regain his lost humanity.

Sami: His lost humanity? Mom, listen to yourself. You want me to live in the DiMera mansion with E.J. and John. That is -- it is crazy.

Marlena: No, no, it's not. You're exaggerating.

Sami: I'm not exaggerating, Mom. John is nuts. It's all weird. It's just all kinds of weird.

Marlena: No, it's not so weird.

Sami: Mom, I don't even know where to begin on how weird all of this --

Dr. Rolf: Um, would anyone care for a drink? We have some excellent Schnapps. Hmm.

Marlena: Okay, it's weird. I don't see that you have a lot of options.

Sami: [Sighs] John is just so bizarre.

Marlena: He has been traumatized by Stefano. I think he's doing very well. He's no longer hostile. He's not compensating for feeling out of control.

Sami: Yeah, but he -- he just still freaks me out.

Marlena: Enough stress, anybody would snap. I myself have done things that are a little unconventional lately. But we have to try to be empathetic. Maybe we can help John find his way back to his old self.

Sami: Mom, you are the therapist, not me.

Marlena: I'm not speaking as a therapist. I'm speaking as a woman. Look, people do strange things when they're in love. And who are we to judge?

Sami: [Sighs] Well...

Marlena: So, is it completely impossible for you to stay here?

Sami: No, I mean, I guess it's possible. But there's something that you could do to make it more tolerable.

Marlena: All right, okay. I'll do whatever I can. Just name it.

Sami: You could move in here, too.

Marlena: What?

Sami: Oh, come on, mom. Just think -- it'd be perfect. Then you could spend more time with the twins, and you could help John yourself.

Marlena: This is not what I signed on for when I said, "I do." That man is not my husband. But you may have a point. Maybe if I moved in here, I could help him become the man that he used to be.

John: You sure I can't offer you a cigar?

E.J.: No. Thank you. My Father used to smoke them all the time, and, frankly, I find them a little bit nauseating. It's actually quite nice now that I'm not in the family circle. I don't have to pretend to like them anymore.

John: Yeah. That was a shame for you, Stefano disowning you and me inheriting his empire. Bad luck.

E.J.: I don't think so. I'm a changed man, John. I don't want anything to do with my Father anymore.

John: That's funny. Thanks to Stefano, I'm a changed man, too.

E.J.: I'm sorry about that.

John: It's okay. I'm getting used to it. The memory part kind of bugs me -- people coming up, making claims of who I was, what I used to do. I can't tell if they're lying or telling the truth.

E.J.: It must be unnerving.

Dr. Rolf: Your drinks.

John: Thank you.

E.J.: Thank you.

John: So, are you really serious about you and the, uh, little blonde moving in here?

E.J.: Well, to be honest, we kind of have our backs up against the wall.

John: I'm sorry for your troubles, but can I be blunt?

E.J.: Sure.

John: I don't really feel comfortable hanging out with Stefano's kid.

E.J.: Well, I can certainly understand why you wouldn't want to have me around. But I can assure you I'm not the man that I used to be.

John: Neither am I. Rolf, what do you think? Can you handle the added chores of taking care of me, those two, and their two babies?

Dr. Rolf: I'd sooner choke on a schnitzel.

John: I feel the same way. Although it might be a good way to keep an eye on anybody who is trying to pull of a DiMera coup.

Daniel: I've known you for a long time, and I had no idea your family tree had so many tentacles.

Victor: It's Byzantine. And if you think it's difficult to explain, you should try living it.

Daniel: I have a few geneticists who'd like to talk to you, pal. Although it's quite a trip that you and Kate actually get along as well as you do, being that you're exes and all.

Kate: Oh, well, we've had our ups and downs, wouldn't you say? But, then again, we try to keep Philip and Chelsea's best interests at heart.

Victor: Well, surely it wasn't all that bad being a Kiriakis.

Kate: Oh, yeah. Well, it did have its advantages. As a matter of fact, I wanted to discuss something with you. But perhaps it can wait.

Victor: Oh, Philip, just in time for coffee.

Philip: Dad, we don't want this evening ruined.

Victor: Neither do I.

Kate: Victor, a wise man knows when to apologize.

Victor: Chloe, I am very sorry that you married my grandson and that he's missing and that you feel that I think you're responsible.

Chloe: You call that an apology?

Philip: Actually...

Kate: Chloe, come on. Let's sit down. Let's not ruin the evening.

Chelsea: Yeah, you haven't even finished your dessert.

Kate: I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I think I'm going to eat that whole thing.

Daniel: There you go. It's nice to see a woman who allows herself to enjoy the sensual pleasures of good food and good wine.

Kate: Really?

Daniel: Indulge.

Kate: Thanks. [Doorbell rings]

Victor: Oh, good God. Now what? Is it too much to ask for a little peace and quiet? That's all I want!

Sami: Listen, Mom, you could keep an eye on John and be helping me out at the same time.

Marlena: Me move in here is out of the question.

Sami: You want me to live in this parallel universe, but you're not willing to move in here yourself?

Marlena: You've got a point.

Sami: [Laughs] Mom, listen, you'd be helping me out, and it wouldn't be for very long -- just until we get the immigration problems sorted out.

Marlena: I would have to talk to John about it.

John: Mmm. I must commend you. You have a way with cheese puffs.

Dr. Rolf: Thank you. The secret is the Bavarian Cambozola cheese -- my own formula.

E.J.: Actually, Rolf, in English we say, "recipe."

John: No, he means "formula." He's a mad scientist.

Sami: No.

Marlena: No, thank you. John, Sami and I have been talking, and we think we've come up with a wonderful solution to their problem.

John: Oh, you have, have you?

Marlena: Yes.

Sami: [Coughs]

Marlena: It would solve their situation if E.J. and Sami and the twins moved in with you. John, can you blow the smoke in a different direction? It stinks.

John: No, what stinks is your plan. Last thing I need is to have a couple of brats running around here, not to mention your children.

Marlena: It gets even better.

John: Oh, really?

Marlena: I'd be moving in, too.

Dr. Rolf: No, no, you can't. She is a dangerous woman -- verrueckt, crazy. She pulled a gun on me.

Sami: You pulled a gun on him?

Marlena: I was trying to make a point.

E.J.: A side to your mother I've never seen.

John: Actually, it was kind of sexy.

Marlena: May we please stay focused here? So, what do you think, John -- E.J., Sami, the twins, and I move in here? We'll all be one big, happy family.

John: You mean like the average American family -- brainwashed dad, gun-totin' mom, married couple who hates each other, mismatched set of twins, and an evil scientist butler? Hmm. Have to think about it.

Chloe: Victor, you wanted a quiet evening. All I wanted was an apology. I didn't get that, either.

Victor: Well, if you hadn't been here, neither one of us would have had a problem.

Chloe: I've seen the looks you've been shooting me all evening.

Victor: Wish I had something else to shoot you with.

Philip: Dad.

Victor: I am not going to sit here and be insulted by a woman who has a roof over her head only because of my generosity.

Chloe: I'll move out. Then I can insult you all I want.

Kate: Chloe, that's uncalled for.

Philip: You're not moving out. Everyone, just calm down.

Kate: Let's not ruin such a lovely evening.

[Doorbell rings]

Chloe: I'm not the one ruining everything.

Victor: Everybody, sit down and shut up!

Chloe: Don't tell me to shut up!

Victor: I said I want peace in this family, and I'm going to get it!

Nicole: Oh, really?

Henderson: I'm sorry, sir. She insisted.

Nicole: Well, I see, Pooky, I'm too late for dinner. Guess we'll just have to settle for drinks. Ooh! [High-pitched voice] Yes. Yes, we're late. We're late. [Smooches, chuckles]

Max: I don't want you to come down here anymore.

Ava: I bet Kayla here isn't half as much fun.

Steve: We have some good times.

Ava: Show me. Give her a kiss.

Kate: What are you doing here?

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