Days Transcript Friday 6/22/07

Days of Our Lives Transcript Friday 6/22/07 - Canada; Monday 6/25/07 - U.S.A.

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Chelsea: You're kidding, right?

Nick: What?

Chelsea: Morning breath.

Nick: I brushed and flossed.

Chelsea: No, I meant for me.

Nick: I don't mind.

Chelsea: Thank you for the coffee.

Nick: Are you okay?

Chelsea: Yeah, I guess I'm just not a morning person.

Nick: I just want to tell you last night was pretty amazing. And I was thinking because there's no one here, we could go back upstairs and...

Chelsea: And what?

Nick: Pick up where we left off. Do it again.

Chelsea: No.

Billie: So, the next thing I hear is the secretary getting on the phone saying, "Please hold for Dean Hanson." I just about flipped out.

Kate: I knew you were gonna get a break. I did. Now I just have to worry about what I'm gonna wear.

Billie: To what?

Kate: To Washington, DC, when you get the American Medal of Freedom for making the world a saner, safer place.

Billie: Ahh, yes, with my security system. Like that's gonna happen.

Kate: Honey, would you stop selling yourself short? That's always been your biggest problem.

Billie: You know the thing I'm most proud of is that I did it by myself -- no middlemen, no backers. This was my idea, my invention, my patent, my step up in the world.

Kate: Sweetie, I have to tell you, I am so happy for you. I am thrilled for you, and I'm going to revel in your success while I watch my own career go down the drain.

Billie: Oh, yeah. Mom, I heard that Lucas is siccing the FCC on Mythic for questionable business practices.

Kate: They shut down operation. They've locked me out of my office, and they have frozen my bank accounts.

Billie: And I'm assuming that E.J. is at the bottom of your legal problems.

Kate: Yes, well, you're assuming right.

Billie: You know he's not gonna give up without a fight.

Kate: Oh, please. Billie, the only thing he cares about right now is that baby that Sami's carrying and whether he's the father.

Billie: I can't believe she didn't press charges.

Kate: What for?

Billie: What for? Mom, he raped her.

Kate: Yeah, well, that's her story, isn't it?

Billie: Come on. She only succumbed to E.J. to save Lucas' life.

Kate: Well, the only thing we have to know about that is that we have her word for it. And then again, we know that Sami is a liar, now, don't we?

Billie: She wouldn't lie about something like this. She loves your son Lucas.

Kate: Oh, really? And she wouldn't sleep with a man and hurt Lucas? What? Huh? Do you need a refresher course, some "Sami 101"?

Billie: Okay, you know what? Whatever, Mom, okay? The most important thing is that we are supportive of Lucas, because if that baby turns out to be E.J.'s

Kate: Well, we were just talking about you.

Lucas: Yeah. Weighing in on the story of my life -- me, E.J., and Sami, huh?

Dr. Jacobs: We use this to extract the amniotic fluid.

Sami: How long will this take?

Dr. Jacobs: Just a few minutes. We'll get the fluid down to the lab to check for any birth defects or abnormalities. Many heart problems can be repaired in utero now.

Marlena: You know, Sami's prior ultrasounds have shown that they were clear.

Dr. Jacobs: I don't expect any problems, but like any invasive procedure, there are risks -- in this case, very, very small.

Sami: But I could miscarry.

Marlena: Sami, you do have less invasive options here.

Dr. Jacobs: But if you want to establish the paternity of the baby...

Sami: I really do.

Dr. Jacobs: Then amnio's the way to go for you. But first, I need you to sign this form stating that you are aware of the risks and you give your written consent. Just take your time looking it over. All right. Try and relax, and I'll be back shortly.

Marlena: You don't have to do this.

Sami: Yes, I do. If I don't prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that E.J. is not the father, I'm afraid I'm gonna lose Lucas.

Like sands through the hourglass, so are the Days of our Lives.

Marlena: Sami, I think you are underestimating Lucas. Regardless of who the father is, he's going to love this baby the same as he loves you and Will.

Sami: But he's the one who wants me to have this amnio. E.J.'s or not E.J.'s that's what he wants to know.

Marlena: You can't blame him for that.

Sami: I wouldn't blame him if he decided to leave me

Marlena: Sami, don't go there.

Sami: How can I not? What kind of man, even a great man like Lucas -- what kind of man would want to raise another guy's child?

Marlena: I can think of one right off.

Sami: John. But even he was --

Marlena: I predict love at first sight.

Sami: Lucas keeps saying that he will love this baby because it's mine. But I know he doesn't want it to be E.J.'s.

Marlena: Of course he doesn't want it to, but he will adjust. He'll accept it.

Sami: That's what I used to think.

Marlena: Oh, Sami. Sami.

Sami: Mom, he used to touch my stomach all the time and feel the baby kick and want to talk to the baby. And...he doesn't do that anymore, ever since he found out that it might be E.J.'s.

Marlena: Not because he thinks you had an affair with E.J., but because he raped you.

Sami: Mom...when he holds this baby for the first time, I'm afraid that I'm not gonna see love in his eyes. I'm afraid he'll hate the baby because every time he looks at it, it will remind him of what E.J. did to me.

Lucas: I need to talk to Billie.

Kate: Okay, fine. I'll slide over, and you can sit down and talk to her.

Lucas: Alone, please.

Kate: Lucas, Billie and I are just catching up, all right?

Lucas: Yeah, well, it will only take a few minutes. Sorry.

Kate: Oh, I see. The banishment continues. Okay. I guess I'm gonna go, what, powder my nose.

Billie: Come here. Sit next to me. So, what's up?

Lucas: Well, where do you want me to start? My life's been pretty tough lately.

Billie: So I've heard.

Lucas: How's Mom doing?

Billie: Oh, like you really care.

Lucas: I do care, Billie. I never meant to hurt her. You know that.

Billie: Yeah, yeah, I know that. I know that. You warned us all about E.J. I'm just glad that I got out of business with him before I was in the same boat with Mom.

Lucas: There you go.

Billie: But that's not why you wanted to talk to me, is it?

Lucas: No. No, Sami's having her amnio this morning.

Billie: What? Why aren't you with her?

Lucas: I'm gonna go soon, all right? I'll be at the hospital soon, but I just -- I feel bad because I insisted she have this procedure.

Billie: Come on, Lucas. It's only natural that you would want to know who the father of the baby is, you or E.J.

Lucas: There's nothing natural about that son of a bitch raping my wife, all right? And now, what, I got to raise his baby? No, thank you.

Chelsea: I'm sorry, Nick. I didn't mean to snap at you.

Nick: That's okay. Morning's not my thing either.

Chelsea: No, really, though, that was bitchy Chelsea.

Nick: Not the girl who loves me.

Chelsea: Okay, it's time to rock 'n' roll.

Nick: Last one up gives a massage.

Chelsea: I meant to shower and get dressed. I mean, today is my first day with Touch the Sky Airlines, so...

Nick: Don't remind me.

Chelsea: It's a job, Nick, you know, to help pay my way through college. And speaking of jobs, don't you have one, too? You can shower first if you want.

Nick: Or we could be eco-friendly and shower together. Save some water. Save some time.

Chelsea: It's kind of a small bathroom. And I have to shave my legs.

Nick: That's all okay to me.

Chelsea: I get that you like me, okay?

Nick: Like you? Chelsea, I love you.

Chelsea: That doesn't mean that we have to grope each other all the time like newlyweds, okay? This wasn't your first time.

Nick: Is that what's bugging you? Because it was great. Chelsea, it was so amazing. It was everything I ever imagined.

Chelsea: Yeah, it was amazing, but you know what? Bo and Hope could come back at any time, and who knows where Jeremy is lurking.

Nick: Are you -- are you mad at me?

Chelsea: Unh-unh. No.

Nick: I didn't disappoint you?

Chelsea: No. No. We're fine. We're golden.

Nick: [Sighs] Good. So, we're, like, a couple now, huh? It's like -- God, this is crazy. If anyone asks, you got to tell them you're taken.

Chelsea: Is that why you wanted to have sex with me, to mark your territory and show Jett Carver that you own me? God, Nick, I really thought you were better than that.

Chelsea: So, you think that I still have a thing for Jett Carver.

Nick: No, no, no. I think he has a thing for you. I think any guy with eyes can see that you're a knockout.

Chelsea: So you don't want me getting on the plane because you don't trust me.

Nick: I trust you. Chelsea -- Chelsea, you're the girl who sang calculus theory with me, who had my back when I was facing jail time, who told me she loved me. I trust you, Chelsea.

Chelsea: Then why can't you be happy for me? This flight-attendant thing could be a really great opportunity.

Nick: I am happy for you, all right? And you're only gonna be gone one night a week. For the rest of the time, we'll have a place to ourselves. I'll even try to have it ready for you by the time you come back from Vegas.

Chelsea: There's no rush. I'm still into taking this one step at a time.

Nick: We already took the big step, and I want to take it again and again and again. I want to make you happy.

Chelsea: I know you do. And I am happy, but right now we are both so late.

Nick: Oh, right. I'll go shower. We're okay, right?

Chelsea: Yeah, we're all right.

Nick: All right.

Chelsea: Hey, it's me. I need you to get over here right away. I have a really, really big problem.

Billie: Is there the tiniest part of you that blames Sami for what happened?

Lucas: No, I don't blame Sami for what happened. She was raped, Billie.

Billie: Good, good, 'cause I believe that she was raped. But if you have the slightest doubt about this, you got to --

Lucas: What are you talking about doubt about this? E.J. held a gun to Sami's head. He forced himself on her. He admitted that, all right? I don't have a problem with Sami. My problem's with me. I made a promise I can't keep.

Billie: What promise?

Lucas: I promised that I would welcome the baby and accept the baby as one of my own.

Billie: You don't know that it's not.

Lucas: Sami doesn't seem to care either way, you know? I mean, yeah, she'd like it to be my baby, sure, but if it's not, she doesn't care. She's gonna love the baby anyway no matter what.

Billie: Of course she will.

Lucas: That's what I'm telling you. I haven't been honest. I've had mixed feelings, all right? There's no way I can raise E.J.'s baby as my own. I just can't do it.

Billie: Okay, you know what? Mixed feelings, Lucas, can be dealt with unless...you've already made up your mind.

Lucas: I don't know. Maybe, yes. Maybe if I'm totally honest with myself, yes, I have made up my mind. There's no way I can accept E.J.'s child as my own.

Marlena: Sami, we're getting ahead of ourselves. We will not know who the father is until we get those tests back.

Sami: Celeste predicted that E.J. will be the father. What if I'm shackled to him for life?

Marlena: As far as E.J. having any right to the child, let's not forget that he raped you.

Sami: And I didn't report it, which makes it his word against mine. Mom, we have been down that road. If he wants to get custody --

Marlena: Well, then he will have a fight on his hands.

Sami: And that's just it. We'll keep fighting, won't we? And this war between the Bradys and the DiMeras will just go on and on and on.

Marlena: Maybe there needs to be a meeting between the two families.

Sami: That won't do anything. Stefano has made it clear that the only way he will agree to end this vendetta is if I...if I marry E.J. and raise this baby as a DiMera.

Marlena: That's ludicrous.

Sami: I know. But he's made it clear that, that's his price. He acts like it doesn't even matter that I'm already married to the love of my life. He acts like my relationship with Lucas doesn't even exist. He wants to just snap his fingers and hand me over to E.J. like some sort of wedding present.

Marlena: Stefano is a lot of things, most of them vile, but he does love his family. And he wants E.J. to be happy.

Sami: And who cares what anyone else wants. Well, I will not be some sort of harem girl for the DiMeras.

Marlena: Sami, you are the woman that E.J. loves.

Sami: A man does not rape a woman that he loves. So help me God, I hope before E.J. dies that someone hurts him the way that he hurt me.

Nick: I hate to have to leave you right now.

Chelsea: Oh, I'll be back before you can miss me.

Nick: I miss you already, and I'm not even out the door.

Chelsea: You should go before your boss sends out the hounds.

Nick: Have a good flight. You're gonna be great.

Chelsea: Well, I'm just serving food and beverages at cruise level, so how great can I be?

Nick: Trust me. You're great at whatever you do. Call me as soon as you touch down.

Chelsea: I promise. Now go.

Nick: I love you.

Chelsea: Thank God you're here.

Stephanie: I let myself in through the back. I figured you'd be carb-loading for takeoff.

Chelsea: No, I can't even think about food right now.

Stephanie: Don't tell me you're calling in sick your first day on the job.

Chelsea: No, this has nothing to do with the job. It's about Nick.

Stephanie: Well, I see two empty coffee mugs, smell some pretty rank aftershave, and there's my girlfriend with that messy look that screams you've been up all night. How am I doing so far?

Chelsea: Nick and I spent the night together.

Stephanie: I figured. Jeremy told me he saw you guys getting all hot and heavy last night.

Chelsea: Ew. What a skeeve. He was probably taking pictures to post on Myspace.

Stephanie: Not Jeremy. He's a doer, not a watcher. But anyway, how was Nick? Did he rock you down to your soul?

Chelsea: It was more like I blinked and then it was over.

Stephanie: What? No bells, stars, angels singing?

Chelsea: No. He was really sweet and gentle and really enthusiastic, but I just didn't feel anything. I think there's something wrong with me.

Lucas: None of this is Sami's fault, all right? She didn't bring this on.

Billie: She did what she had to do to save your life, Lucas.

Lucas: I know, and I'm grateful for that, but at what cost? I didn't think it was gonna be this cost to Sami and me.

Billie: You know what? DNA doesn't mean a damn -- not at all. Come on. Take Chelsea for instance. She was raised by loving adoptive parents who didn't give a damn who she was or where she came from. All that baby needs is your love. And I know that your heart is big enough to handle it.

Lucas: What am I supposed to do around Christmas or Thanksgiving, huh, or weekends when E.J. shows up, pulls up in my driveway and invades my home?

Billie: Weekend visits do not change the fact that you are that baby's father.

Lucas: Yeah, and that baby's gonna spend the weekends with Tony, Stefano, and E.J. They're gonna corrupt him. They're gonna put him through the brainwash mill that the DiMeras do. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna stand on the curb and wave "bye-bye, I'll see you later" and then that baby comes back against me, turns into one of them? No. I'm sorry. I thought I really could do it. I really did. But you know what? I thought because half of the baby was gonna be Sami's that it would be okay, but to tell you the truth, I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can give the kind of love to E.J.'s baby that, that child's gonna need.

Billie: Have you...discussed these doubts with Sami?

Lucas: What am I gonna say, "raising E.J.'s child wasn't in our wedding vows. See you later"? Then I'll have to give up that child, and then that child's gonna resent me for the rest of my life?

Billie: So...what are you gonna do?

Lucas: I have no idea. Damned if I don't.

Sami: I guess you think that's a wicked thing to say.

Marlena: The man raped you. I expect you to have very strong feelings about him.

Sami: And even if punishing E.J. made me feel better, the worst part is, it wouldn't help. It wouldn't resolve anything.

Marlena: I know. In my experience, revenge is never as sweet as we hope. And there are times like right now when I forget that I'm a psychiatrist trained to understand human behavior, and I just want to get my hands on him. But we don't do that.

Sami: Mom, I... I had the chance to kill E.J. and I wanted it. But I couldn't do it.

Marlena: Of course you couldn't do it. It's not in you, Sami. You want your marriage to survive, don't you?

Sami: I would be lost without Lucas. But if this baby is E.J.'s

Marlena: It's not.

Sami: How do you know?

Marlena: This is far too important -- the test result -- to leave to chance.

Sami: Mom? Are you saying that you would rig the test results to make Lucas the father?

Marlena: That's exactly what I propose. You say the word and your worries are over.

Sami: You're suggesting change the paternity test results? Mom, you can't be serious.

Marlena: I'm a doctor here. I have access to the lab. If the results show that E.J. is the father, I will change them.

Sami: Oh, Mom. No. No. No way.

Marlena: Nobody will know, Sami, just the two of us.

Sami: Someone always finds out. And you are a respected doctor here, Mom.

Marlena: I would do anything to secure my daughter's happiness.

Sami: It won't. Look, Mom, I know because I've tried. It doesn't work like that. What if something happened to the baby and Lucas found out somehow? I'm not going to put him through that again. And no matter what, it will cause nothing but sleepless nights waiting for the truth to come out. No, Mom.

Marlena: Oh, Sami.

Sami: There's no way I'm letting you do this.

Marlena: The old Sami would have jumped at that chance. You know that.

Sami: I had to finally grow up I guess, kicking and screaming. But I can't go through another lie like that.

Marlena: Good for you. I don't know what I was thinking.

Sami: You were thinking that you love me, just like I love you.

Billie: Lucas, I really think that you need to talk to Sami and be honest about the way you feel. She loves you.

Lucas: Yeah. That's the one thing I'm sure of.

Billie: Okay. Okay. Then you guys need to sit down and talk about how you're gonna work this out, you know, what's gonna work for the both of you. That's what you're supposed to do in a marriage. God knows I'm no expert, but I think that's what you're supposed to do.

Nick: Billie! Lucas! Mrs. Roberts!

Lucas: What? Listening in on private conversation? What, are you writing stuff down?

Kate: What, are you talking to me now?

Lucas: Oh, nice.

Billie: You are shameless, Mother, really shameless.

Nick: I didn't mean to cause any trouble.

Kate: It's okay, really. I'm just a mother who cares.

Nick: Okay. How's Sami doing?

Lucas: She's good. She's at the hospital, about to have her amnio.

Nick: There's nothing wrong with the baby I hope.

Lucas: No. No. It's just a precaution.

Nick: Good.

Lucas: I guess I'll go call Marlena and check up on Sami. Excuse me.

Nick: Maybe I'll check up on Sami, too, on my way into the hospital.

Billie: Hey, are you still at the lab?

Nick: Yeah.

Billie: Good. Glad to hear that 'cause, you know, ever since Chelsea moved in with Bo and Hope, I've been kind of out of the loop. How is she?

Nick: She's good. She's great, in fact.

Kate: By the look of that megawatt smile, you're feeling pretty great yourself.

Nick: Mrs. Roberts, I have to tell you, I have never been happier.

Stephanie: Get a grip, Chelse. There's nothing wrong with you.

Chelsea: Stephanie, I lost my virginity last night.

Stephanie: And believe me, you won't miss it.

Chelsea: How was it for your first time?

Stephanie: Embarrassing, gross, clumsy.

Chelsea: But did you, like, feel something, anything?

Stephanie: No, I was way too in my head, watching myself, hoping I made all the right moves.

Chelsea: I wanted it to be special. I wanted everything to be special -- the touching and the kissing and the afterglow.

Stephanie: Okay, you've seen way too many chick flicks. Real-life sex is --

Chelsea: I didn't want it to just be sex. I just wanted... I don't know. I just wanted to, like, lose myself, but I couldn't get there.

Stephanie: Stop worrying. Sex is the one subject you can't flunk. Look, you just need more practice, and as soon as you stop making it so mental, it will be way better.

Chelsea: Look... I didn't just want to just do it to do it, you know? I could have. I've had many chances, but I wanted to do it with someone that I really cared about, that I could connect with, not someone that just wanted to grab ass.

Stephanie: Don't knock it till you've tried it.

Chelsea: Is that how it is with you and Jeremy?

Stephanie: We've got a lot going, but I think you were just expecting too much for your first time.

Chelsea: Nick really loves me. I'm pretty sure that he'd die for me.

Stephanie: Does it cut both ways?

Chelsea: Is it normal to, like, think about other things when you're doing it?

Stephanie: You mean fantasizing your guy's Brad Pitt with a side of Johnny Depp?

Chelsea: No. I mean, like... the whole time that we were doing it, I just kept thinking about...him doing my mom.

Stephanie: Ugh! Chelsea, that's disgusting.

Chelsea: I know. I -- I thought that I was over it.

Stephanie: If you're with your man and you see him playing mattress tag with your mom, so not over it.

Chelsea: He's apologized a million times, and I know that he wants to be with me, like skin on skin.

Stephanie: Yeah, well, that's what Nick wants. What do you want?

Chelsea: I don't know what I want. That's why I called you.

Stephanie: You're lucky Abby's not here. She would have told you to save yourself for marriage.

Chelsea: Yeah, well, I'm nowhere near ready for marriage.

Stephanie: Okay, Chelse, on the level -- did you sleep with Nick because you were really into it or because you felt like you owed him a freebie?

Chelsea: Both, I guess.

Stephanie: So, you weren't totally into him.

Chelsea: No.

Stephanie: Big deal. There's nothing wrong with having a bed buddy. Wait till we move into the dorms this fall.

Chelsea: Nick deserves more than just a bed buddy. He's a good guy. He's nice and sweet --

Stephanie: We've already ran that list -- sweet, gentle, all that good stuff. But does Nick make your world go 'round, you know, make you feel like you want your hands in his pants 24-7?

Chelsea: Is that how it is with you and Jeremy?

Stephanie: Oh, yeah. But if you're not feeling it --

Chelsea: No, that's what I want. I mean, I want to just let go and let things happen.

Stephanie: It will, just maybe not with Nick.

Chelsea: This really sucks.

Stephanie: So tell him.

Chelsea: Shut up. I can't tell him any of this.

Stephanie: Why not?

Chelsea: Because. I mean, it'd break his heart. There's no easy way to let someone down. They always get hurt.

Stephanie: So go for a clean break.

Chelsea: And say what, "I'm sorry, Nick. You just don't do it for me"? He'd be devastated.

Stephanie: So, what are you gonna do then, sleep with him and fake it?

Chelsea: I guess if I have to.

Stephanie: That's not love, Chelse. It's pity.

Nick: And, uh, I'll remind Chelsea to be better about calling.

Billie: Yeah, thanks.

Kate: Tell her she has my phone number, too.

Nick: Will do.

Billie: Hey, Nick, I hope she realizes how lucky she is.

Nick: I think we're both feeling pretty lucky right now. It's good to see you guys. I got to go.

Billie: Bye. [Sighs] You know what? Those two kids deserve to be happy after all they've been through.

Kate: Did I miss something?

Billie: Well, I guess so, because it seems the late Willow Stark planted Chelsea's hairbrush at the scene of the arson fire at Bo and Hope's, and that young man stole it from the lab to protect her.

Kate: Imagine that.

Billie: Well, they confessed to everything, and Roman let them walk.

Kate: Roman was involved? Hmm...

Billie: All right, Mom, hold on now. Before you start brewing up something, this has to stay between you and me, okay?

Kate: Okay.

Billie: Okay.

Kate: Lips are sealed.

Billie: No, no, no. I mean it, Mom. Not a word of this to anyone.

Lucas: I just got off the phone with Marlena. They're about to start the procedure.

Billie: Oh, good.

Kate: Don't you think you should get over there?

Lucas: Please don't tell me what to do.

Kate: [Sighs] Okay, fine, whatever. Give my regards to Sami.

Billie: And tell her that I love her, okay?

Lucas: I will. Thank you for everything.

Billie: Good luck.

Nick: Is it okay if I come in?

Marlena: Come in here. Look at you.

Sami: Nick, how did you know I was here?

Nick: I was at the pub getting takeout, and Lucas told me that you were getting an amnio.

Sami: Yeah, well, a real one this time.

Nick: Those are from me and Chelse.

Sami: Oh. Well, thank you. They are beautiful. How are things with you and Chelsea?

Nick: Better than ever.

Sami: So, you're happy?

Nick: Yeah. Yeah.

Sami: Good. I want you to stay that way.

Nick: Look, I'll come check up on you later, all right?

Sami: Hey, um, make sure they don't mess up those lab-test results, huh?

Nick: I won't. Take care.

Marlena: Thanks, Nick.

Dr. Jacobs: Sami, Dr. Evans, this is Jane Yamamoto. She's gonna be monitoring your ultrasound.

Marlena: How do you do? Dr. Jacobs speaks very highly of you.

Thank you. Are you ready, Samantha?

Sami: I'm ready.

Marlena: Okay. Got you.

Nick: Mrs. Roberts. If you're looking for Sami, she's in there with her obstetrician.

Kate: Oh. Actually, I'm here to see you.

Chelsea: The last thing that I feel for Nick is pity, and I'm definitely not into mercy sex.

Stephanie: Sounds like you're not into sex at all, at least not with Nick.

Chelsea: Nick is like the most righteous guy I know, and he makes me feel like a real lady.

Stephanie: Sometimes you get tired of being a real lady, Chelse. You want something more down and dirty.

Chelsea: Stephanie, not everything is about sex.

Stephanie: It's the primal glue. Without it, there's nothing holding you two together.

Chelsea: Okay, so, are you saying that if the sex wasn't hot between you and Jeremy, you'd dump him?

Stephanie: More like he'd dump me.

Chelsea: That's really sad.

Stephanie: No, sad is trashing yourself for not feeling the way you think you're supposed to feel. Nick just turned out to be not your favorite flavor.

Chelsea: Look, not every couple is gonna be like the perfect hot couple. I see people at the movies in the mall all the time, and they're holding hands and kissing, but nothing about them screams "sex me up."

Stephanie: Turn-ons come in surprise packages. One girl's prince is another girl's turnoff. And before your tears are dry, you're on to the next adventure.

Chelsea: You know what? This is really not helping me.

Stephanie: You need first aid? Here it is. You are not in love with Nick no matter how much you want to be. The earth doesn't move, you move on. Admit there's someone else out there giving you x-rated fantasies.

Chelsea: There's no one else.

Stephanie: Hello? Jett Carver?

Chelsea: What?

Stephanie: I've seen the way you look at him.

Chelsea: How?

Stephanie: Like you want to rip his clothes off with your teeth and jump his bones.

Chelsea: You're sick.

Stephanie: [Sighs] Just admit it, Chelse. You want Jett Carver. You want him bad.

Chelsea: You need to take that dirty little mouth of yours and run it through the rinse cycle. And stop acting like a pole dancer looking for her next lap dance.

Stephanie: Why? Because I did the nasty before you did?

Chelsea: That's exactly what I'm talking about, Stephanie. Listen to how you talk. There's nothing nasty about sleeping with someone.

Stephanie: There is if you do it right.

Chelsea: Okay, this was a really bad idea.

Stephanie: Come on, Chelse, so you scored low on the sex-ometer. With enough time, practice, and the right guy, you'll forget all about Nick not rocking your world.

Chelsea: Nick is the best thing that's ever happened in my life.

Stephanie: Well, then maybe you should get a new life -- love with a proper stranger.

Chelsea: Jett Carver and I are just friends, and I only met him a few days ago.

Stephanie: Ever heard of lust at first sight?

Chelsea: I'm not into one-nighters.

Stephanie: Why limit yourself just to one night?

Chelsea: Oh, my God. You're a slut.

Stephanie: I'd rather be that than see my mom -- never mind. I'm not even gonna go there. But why are you so defensive?

Chelsea: Because you make me sound like some shallow crotch grabber, which I'm not. And why would I leave a guy like Nick for some other guy that's already in love with another woman?

Stephanie: But you've thought about it, right -- what it would feel like, a long, slow kiss --

Chelsea: Okay, I have to get ready. But thanks for coming by.

Stephanie: Sorry if I hit you where you live.

Chelsea: No, I just don't want to hear another word about Jett Carver.

Stephanie: See you at work. So will Jett. [Giggles]

Nick: So... Mrs. Roberts, what can I do for you?

Kate: As a matter of fact, I'm here about Lucas because he is worried sick over this amnio test that Sami's having done.

Nick: Oh, he shouldn't be. I mean, the risk to the baby is minuscule. Dr. Jacobs is one of the best. Sami's definitely in good hands.

Kate: You work in the hospital lab, don't you, Nicholas?

Nick: Yes. You know I do.

Kate: [Laughs] That has to be fascinating work, I mean, working with all those microbes and things.

Nick: Why don't we cut to the chase? What do you want?

Kate: I want Sami's paternity test to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that E.J. is the father of her baby.

[Knock on door]

Lucas: Hey.

Marlena: Hey.

Lucas: How's it going? Anything good on the tube?

Dr. Jacobs: I'd say this is must-see TV.

Sami: So, is everything okay? Doctor.

Marlena: Is there a problem?

Sami: Is everything okay?

Dr. Jacobs: I can't believe we didn't pick this up on the other scans.

Sami: What is it? What's wrong with my baby?

Dr. Jacob: Oh, no, Sami, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. There's nothing wrong...with either one of your babies.

Marlena: Two babies?

Dr. Jacobs: Lucas, Sami, congratulations. Looks like you're having twins.

Marlena: [Laughs]

Jeremy: All we need to do now -- deliver the goods, split the take, and party in Vegas.

Kate: Do the smart thing.

Nick: Make sure that E.J. Wells is the father no matter what the truth is.

Lucas: No, Sami, E.J. wants you, all right? That idiot wants you for himself.

Stefano: You let me down.

E.J.: I let you down? How, Father?

Stefano: You lied to me! And that is the one thing that I will not tolerate.

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