Days Transcript Wednesday 4/4/07

Days of Our Lives Transcript Wednesday 4/4/07 - Canada; Thursday 4/5/07 - U.S.A.

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Provided By Glynis & Eric
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Chelsea: Excuse me, is Detective Brady here?

Officer: Sorry, Bo's out on a case. You're his kid, right?

Chelsea: Yeah.

Officer: If it's important, I can call him.

Chelsea: No, that's okay. I'll just wait around for him. Thanks.

Officer: I'll see if the public defender's office has sent your lawyer.

Willow: Thank you.

Chelsea: Nice jumpsuit.

Willow: What's wrong, Chelsea, bad hair day?

Chelsea: You know what, Willow? Don't even talk to me.

Willow: Don't count on the lab returning your favorite hairbrush, because as soon as your dad gets a look at that DNA, you'll be sporting the new jewelry and spending some quality time in the slammer. Peace out, loser.

[Telephone ringing]

Sami: Damn it, I told you not to call me here.

E.J.: Such hostility.

Sami: Yeah, well, what do you expect?

E.J.: A little honor amongst thieves.

Sami: I'm hanging up now.

E.J.: I wouldn't do that if I were you. I take it that Lucas had his meeting with the doctor who confirmed the amnio –

Sami: I can't talk now.

E.J.: Why? Is your poison dwarf there?

Sami: You set him up, didn't you? You unbelievable bastard, you pretended to be a doctor? I should have known.

E.J.: I did what I had to do. Considering you were trying to fool me with a phony amnio report, I needed to determine what was real and what was... well, you being you. So, get rid of him. We need to talk.

Sami: He's having lunch with his mother.

E.J.: Good. Call me when he leaves.

Sami: No.

E.J.: No? Samantha, don't be silly. You do not want me coming looking for you.

Sami: You're insane.

E.J.: No, my dear. I'm a DiMera.

Lucas: Hey. I heard the phone ring. Who called?

Sami: Telemarketers.

Lucas: You've been getting a lot of those lately, haven't you?

Sami: Yeah, well, I guess once they find out that you're planning a wedding, they are like vultures and they come swarming around with a lot of crap you don't need.

Lucas: Like what?

Sami: Huh?

Lucas: What were they trying to sell you?

Sami: I don't remember.

Lucas: Are you okay?

Sami: Yeah. I'm fine. I'm just -- what are you doing?

Lucas: I'm gonna hang up the phone. Oh, I pushed the caller I.D. I just hate it when I do that. And look, it's E.J. Wells. You're lying to me right now? E.J. is calling you? Why the hell is E.J. calling you?

Kate: Bartender, I'll have whatever he's drinking.

E.J.: Kate darling, successful shopping trip?

Kate: No, not actually.

E.J.: Well, if volume is anything to go by...

Kate: Yes, well, I couldn't decide what to buy, so I bought everything. I can only stay a minute. I'm meeting Lucas.

E.J.: Oh, you're naughty.

Kate: Thank you. E.J., you're a man.

E.J.: Yes, I am.

Kate: Mm-hmm. How do women do it?

E.J.: How do women do what exactly?

Kate: Well, how do women turn smart, decent men into --

E.J.: Oh, into their devoted fiancés.

Kate: Yeah. I'm thinking about doing an intervention.

E.J.: For Lucas?

Kate: Mm-hmm. I'm going to cure him of his addiction for Sami.

E.J.: Be fair, Kate. I'm sure there's a lot of men who've fallen under your spell over the years.

Kate: Oh, God. Now you're comparing me to that -- you know, I can't even think of a nasty adjective anymore. I mean, I've run out of them, and, hey, I've only started to drink.

E.J.: Shopping didn't improve your mood, eh?

Kate: No. I couldn't find one thing to wear.

E.J.: Well, if I recall, the mother of the groom wears beige and sits quietly in the corner. Sounds perfect.

Kate: Yeah, it does. And I'd be very happy to do that, but unfortunately for me, Sami has decided to have a green wedding, which means everything has to be environmentally friendly.

E.J.: A green wedding? I wasn't aware Samantha had a social conscience.

Kate: Oh, well, she has no conscience, actually -- social or otherwise.

E.J.: Really? Well, I'm sure you will find something...appropriate. How about this? This looks awfully green. Maybe you can put that somewhere.

Kate: No, no, actually, as beautiful as that may be, I'm thinking a funereal black.

E.J.: Funereal black? I like that, but how about something a little more fun? Something exciting, something red maybe.

Kate: Red. Red -- mmm, for this wedding?

E.J.: Well, no, not for the wedding. For the wedding, that would be inappropriate, but for the party afterwards to celebrate them not getting married. Tipsy?

Kate: Just a bit.

Like sands through the hourglass, so are the Days of our Lives.

Max: All that food there for you, big guy?

Roman: Well, if it isn't Father Brady. And, no, wise guy, it's not. It's for the guys down at the station. I'm treating today.

Max: Okay, look, I get it. You talked to Kayla and you're pissed. She needed help. She asked, I went. Nobody got hurt.

Roman: Only because you were lucky and Stefano didn't hire better help. Kayla needed somebody to talk sense into her, Max, not fly off to Italy and play dress-up.

Max: She told you everything?

Roman: Not everything, but she told me about the evidence, the gunplay, your little photo shoot with Stefano's scar. Did you steal the clothes from a priest?

Max: No, she did pay for those.

Roman: Okay, well, that was a plus, all right? Max, tell me something. What does Kayla do for a living?

Max: She's a doctor.

Roman: And you are a mechanic.

Max: Don't talk down to me, Roman.

Roman: I'm not talking down to you. I'm talking sense to you. You and your sister could have gotten yourselves killed. From now on, you leave the DiMeras to me. It's not your fight.

Max: What are you talking about? E.J. tried to kill me. And that little accident he set up almost killed Stephanie, and that's not even mentioning the stuff he's done to Steve. Look, as long as the DiMeras are going after my family, it is my fight, Roman, just as much as it is yours. So don't give me these speeches. Stop with all that, okay? Because I'm not backing down -- not for anyone.

Kate: I do look stunning in red.

E.J.: You do, and out of it, if I remember correctly.

Kate: Oh, you are such a delicious cad.

E.J.: My cross to bear. Now, we were talking about the wedding.

Kate: No, no, let's not 'cause it's going to turn me into an alcoholic.

E.J.: Say you had a thoroughbred, okay? A real beautiful horse, winner in every way, but it never quite made it to the winner's enclosure.

Kate: Oh, I love horses.

E.J.: The point being, sooner or later, you would cut your losses and realize you had to stop worrying about it.

Kate: What the hell are you talking about?

E.J.: I'm talking about the fact -- look at Samantha's track record. The chances of her and Lucas getting married at all, let alone living happily ever after, are almost none.

Kate: There is a baby involved here. When there's a baby, it changes things. It bonds couples like a leg-iron. Never mind the fact that Lucas is completely besought over the idea of being a father again, and he sees Sami as the Madonna. And I'm talking about the religious icon here, not the pop diva.

E.J.: Two of my favorite women.

Kate: [Sighing] Oh, my God. You know, there aren't enough martinis in the world to get me through this. Ah, thank you. I'll try.

E.J.: Kate, Lucas is very smart. If Samantha is playing some kind of game with him, then he's gonna figure it out.

Kate: Have you ever heard the expression "love is blind"?

E.J.: Have you ever heard the expression "marriage opens the eyes"?

Kate: Yeah, well, I would like his eyes opened before the ceremony, before he gets to the altar.

E.J.: You never know. Maybe you'll get your wish.

Kate: You know, you keep on teasing me with this as if you know something that I don't and you know that I'm gonna want to know exactly what that is.

E.J.: Me? Oh, no. I'm just making conversation.

Kate: Oh, come on. You never just make conversation. [Sighs] I am drowning here. Please throw me a lifeline. Do you know something about Sami and Lucas that I don't?

Lucas: So, what's up? What did E.J. want this time?

Sami: Nothing. It was just E.J. being E.J.

Lucas: All right, fine. You know, I've been thinking about what you said a while ago.

Sami: About what?

Lucas: I think we should move. That's what.

Sami: Lucas, I don't want to move because of E.J.

Lucas: We need a fresh start, okay? We need new jobs, a new apartment, new everything. I'm sick of this. I'm not an idiot. I can see what's going on. The guy still thinks he's in the game with you.

Sami: There is no game. It's over, and you won because I am in love with you.

Lucas: What would you do if it was different? What would you do if someone you hated was after me and they wouldn't leave me alone? What would you do then, huh?

Sami: Scratch her eyes out.

Lucas: See?

Sami: But you would tell me to forget it. Come on, you would say to leave it alone, that the only thing that's important is that I love you. That's what you would say to me. So that's what I'm saying to you. I -- I love you, Lucas. I love you so much, and I don't want anything to come between us.

Lucas: All right. All right, we are for real this time, all right? We're a family. That's what we are. We're a very happy family. All right?

Chelsea: You stole my brush.

Willow: Why would I want your skanky hairbrush?

Chelsea: Because you needed somebody to pin all of this on so that you could steal Hope's jewelry and then torch their place, and you know what? My dad is gonna figure that out.

Willow: Bo and Hope were my meal ticket. She was paying for my baby's prenatal care. They were giving me money to live off of. Now, why would I be so stupid to screw that up?

Chelsea: Nobody really said that you were that smart.

Willow: I had no reason to torch the place.

Chelsea: Oh, and I did?

Willow: After your mom went Mrs. Robinson on Baby Einstein? Yeah, I heard. Hey, what's that called, acting out, misplaced aggression? I think I read about it once in People Magazine.

Chelsea: Oh, you read?

Willow: Tip for you, college girl -- when your mom is looking better to your man than you are, it's time to give up.

Chelsea: Willow, I'm really warning you -- you better shut your mouth.

Willow: Cheer up, Chelsea. It's not lonely in jail as long as you don't mind batting for the other team. Just do yourself a favor -- don't eat the chili. It's a real turn-off.

Lucas: Come here. Sit down for a minute. Just relax. Now, listen -- that book I'm reading on pregnancy says that pregnant women kind of get a little sad sometimes. You know, they get anxious.

Sami: You're reading a book?

Lucas: Yeah, I'm reading a book. This is big for me. This is the first time we're going through this. It means a lot.

Sami: [Sighs] You know, John used to read to me, and he'd hold me like this, and he would read my favorite fairy tale over and over.

Lucas: Let me guess -- you were the princess?

Sami: [Laughs] Of course I was the princess. But, you know, it actually always made me kind of sad.

Lucas: Why? Why, no happy endings for my baby?

Sami: There was. But the whole part about how she got all dressed up and she got the horse and carriage and she got to go to the party and be with her handsome prince, and the whole time she knew that she'd have to be back by midnight, that it was gonna end, and that she would have to go back to her messed-up life just like it was before.

Lucas: Listen, our party is never gonna end. I promise you.

Sami: Even if some evil ogre tells you a horrible lie about me?

Lucas: Bring on that ogre. I'll take him out, Lucas style with my knuckle sandwich.

Sami: Stop it. Speaking of which, the evil queen Kate is waiting for you for lunch.

Lucas: So what? I'll cancel. I don't have to go to lunch.

Sami: Lucas, don't do that. She'll hate me. It's fine. You know what? I'll just have some of that chocolate you bought me. That'll tide me over.

Lucas: You sure?

Sami: Yes, I'm sure.

Lucas: All right, 'cause I'll get you chocolate. Oh, here it is. Special chocolates for you. But if these don't work for any reason, honey, you call me. Thank you very much. Call me right away, okay?

Sami: Yes, of course I will.

Lucas: And, um, that book I've been reading, it says that pregnant women kind of -- you know, their feet get a little big when they're pregnant.

Sami: Why are we talking about my feet?

Lucas: Because I have to know what size glass slipper to buy my princess. That's why. Mmm. Mmm. You sure you're gonna be okay?

Sami: Yes.

Lucas: I love you. If you need anything, anything at all, you call me right away and I'll run back and I'll take care of you and your needs. I love you.

Kate: This wedding is like a damn freight train.

E.J.: Freight trains often derail.

Kate: Well, not this one. Because Sami gets what Sami wants and Sami wants to be Mrs. Lucas Roberts.

E.J.: Why?

Kate: Why -- love.

E.J.: Highly overrated.

Kate: Respectability.

E.J.: Respectability? I thought the Bradys have plenty of respectability.

Kate: But not Sami. Sami is the black sheep. She was born wanting more.

E.J.: What else is it you think she wants?

Kate: Everything.

E.J.: Everything? And she thinks she's gonna get this with Lucas? [Cellphone rings] Sorry. Would you, um... I have to take this, darling. Thank you for returning my call.

Sami: Lucas just left.

E.J.: I'll be right over.

Sami: Don't kill yourself getting here.

E.J.: I'll do my best. Sorry. I'm gonna have to leave you, I'm afraid. Something came up at the office.

Kate: Oh.

E.J.: Listen, darling, keep your chin up about Lucas and Samantha. When it comes to affairs of the heart, things are rarely what they seem.

Kate: Ah. Finally something to drink for.

Nick: Chelse.

Willow: Gag me.

Chelsea: Thank you for coming. I'm really sorry that I was a brat before. It was unfair of me, and you were right to say no.

Nick: That's okay. Everything's gonna be fine, Chelsea. I promise.

Max: Food's getting cold.

Roman: So they'll eat it cold.

Max: End of lecture?

Roman: Max, I'm not trying to lecture you. You know what? Maybe I am trying to lecture you, but --

Max: It's for my own good.

Roman: And Kayla's. You don't know what you're up against.

Max: I'm not stupid, Roman.

Roman: No, but you got more courage than you got sense.

Max: All right, thanks a lot.

Roman: Max, Stefano may have one foot in the grave, but E.J. Wells is still around and he is a clear and present danger.

Max: You're talking to a guy he almost killed.

Roman: That is exactly what I'm trying to get through your thick skull. That makes it personal. When it's personal, you make mistakes.

Max: So, wait, are you saying that's not the same for you?

Roman: I am a cop. I am trained to take a step back, but you --

Max: I'm a mechanic with a chip on his shoulder, right?

Roman: If you want to protect Kayla, next time call me or Bo.

Max: Yeah, her real brothers.

Roman: Oh, no, no, don't make it about that.

Max: You treat me like an outsider, Roman. This is my family, too. Sometimes you forget that.

Roman: No, Max. I do not forget that. We all have a stake in this, baby brother, and you know I call you that out of affection. Right? All right. Now, are you gonna give me the dirt on the rest of the trip?

Max: What dirt?

Roman: New York City, Abby. Any of this ring a bell?

Max: Uh, Kayla's got such a big mouth.

Roman: If you want to keep secrets, you find another clan. All right, so tell me what's the deal between you two? What's going on?

Lucas: Hey. Sorry I'm late, all right?

Kate: Are you all right?

Lucas: Yeah, yeah, why?

Kate: Well, I don't know. You have that look on your face that you used to get when you were a kid and you came home from school and something had gone wrong.

Lucas: You want another drink? That looks a little low. I'm gonna get you another drink.

Kate: Sure, I'll have another drink.

Lucas: All right, bartender, can we get her another martini and something nonalcoholic for me?

Kate: So, how's Sami?

Lucas: Wow. That was good. That almost sounded sincere.

Kate: Thank you, thank you. I've been practicing. I mean, I don't want you to turn this into another Sami/Kate grudge rematch, all right?

Lucas: Just cut her a break, all right? Thank you.

Kate: Thank you. What are you looking for?

Lucas: I'm looking for E.J. What, is he under a table, behind a potted plant somewhere?

Kate: He left, Lucas. He left.

Lucas: You promise?

Kate: I'm positive. I promise.

Lucas: Good. That guy's like a bad rash. You can't get rid of him.

Kate: Well, you work for the man. I mean, you live in the same apartment building that he does.

Lucas: Yeah, and he said he was gonna leave, said he was gonna move out. I'm thinking about taking care of everything, you know, changing it up a little bit.

Kate: Really? What were you gonna change -- where you work or where you live?

Lucas: Both. I want this guy out of our lives for good. It's ridiculous.

Kate: Well, honey, other than the obvious, how else is he in your life?

Lucas: Look, if I tell you something, do you promise just to listen and not judge? Can you do that for me?

Kate: Of course I can do that.

Lucas: All right, there's something going on between Sami and E.J. I don't know what it is, but there's something going on. I mean, every time Sami starts to talk about the wedding, she gets all excited, and then out of nowhere, she -- she gets scared. She feels like something's gonna go wrong.

Kate: Sounds like prewedding jitters to me.

Lucas: So it's normal? I mean, most women get like that before they get married?

Kate: Well, yeah, of course they do, but, I mean, then again, Sami isn't your typical bride, now, is she?

Lucas: What are you saying, mom? If you've got something to say, just come out and say it. I can handle it.

Kate: Do you promise not to shoot the messenger? Okay. It's just that I've been thinking. I've been wondering if there isn't a reason -- and I'm not saying what that reason is, okay -- there isn't a reason that maybe Sami has changed her mind about getting married to you.

Sami: Dr. Young, I presume.

E.J.: Not a bad ruse, eh? Shut the door.

Sami: What are you doing?

E.J.: I warned you what would happen if you deceived me. Stay there.

Sami: E.J., don't.

E.J.: Is there anyone else I should be calling aside from Lucas? You know, anyone else whose "Y" matches your "X"?

Sami: Stop it. Don't -- don't call Lucas.

E.J.: Why? I think he should know about you being unfaithful. Maybe we could teach him something about genetics at the same time.

Sami: Give me the phone.

E.J.: Hey, leave it alone. Oh, sweetheart, you really didn't want to do that. but is it true?

Sami: Please don't tell Lucas. I don't want him to find out this way.

E.J.: What, that the baby you're carrying probably isn't his?

Sami: Stop saying that.

E.J.: Why? 'Cause Lucas will find out? Good. Face it, Samantha. You'd waste your life with Lucas.

Sami: I don't know what you're talking about. I love him. He is kind and caring and compassionate and loving.

E.J.: Oh, please. Could you set your bar any lower? He's like a flipping lapdog.

Sami: Don't talk about him that way.

E.J.: I'll talk about him any way I want to. You see, Lucas is gonna get nothing because people like Lucas are worth nothing.

Sami: I will not let him take my child.

Celeste: Then stop him, Samantha. You have something he wants, something that you can use to gain power over him. He wants you, Samantha. He wants you.

Sami: Oh, my God. Lucas. Lucas doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve any of this. I can't do this to him anymore. I can-- I can't let him live the fantasy that he is the father of this child...when...when we both know that the baby is yours. And I've known it all along.

Lucas: Sami's stressed out, and you immediately hit me with, "oh, this wedding's not gonna happen." That's real nice.

Kate: You brought up the subject, remember?

Lucas: Yeah, and you didn't even offer to help. You didn't offer to say, "is Sami okay?" You just assume the wedding's off.

Kate: When it comes to Sami, I think it's best to be prepared, Lucas.

Lucas: We know she wants this wedding, all right? We worked hard on this whole thing.

Kate: Yeah, well, weddings are easy. It's the marriage that kills you.

Lucas: What are you talking about?

Kate: All you want to hear from me is, "Sami's wonderful. Sami adores me. Sami is going to make a great wife."

Lucas: Yeah, she will. She will, and you know what? I'm not gonna deal with this. I don't want to meet with you if this is gonna be our dynamic. I'm out of here.

Kate: I'm not the only one who thinks this.

Lucas: Oh, really? You talking about my personal life to other people?

Kate: No, no, because I would never do that.

Lucas: I don't believe you.

Kate: All I'm doing is relaying information that I've heard.

Lucas: Oh, relaying information. From who?

Kate: E.J.'s antennae are up.

Lucas: Oh, E.J.? E.J., huh? Well, I'll pay my bill, and I'm gonna kill him.

Kate: Oh, okay. Well, you just do that. Go ahead, beat him up. Why don't you beat him up? And then you can get arrested, and then you can lose your job. And that's not gonna fix anything, because E.J.'s not the problem. I'm not the problem. Your bride is the problem. So don't cancel the wedding for my sake. Do it for your sake.

Chelsea: I'm so glad you're here.

Willow: Enjoy it while you can, Nick, because she's gonna be locked up for good real soon.

Chelsea: Can you guys take her away, please?

Willow: Let go of me!

Officer: Let's take her to holding.

Willow: What about my lawyer?

Officer: Your meeting just got cancelled.

Nick: We need to talk.

Chelsea: Look, Nick, I know that Willow planted that brush and used it to try to frame me, but there's no way that I can prove it.

Nick: I believe you. I always believed you.

Chelsea: Just not enough to help me. Look, it's fine. I don't blame you. I mean, I basically told you that we were over unless you did help me, so...

Nick: I did.

Chelsea: You did what?

Nick: Help you.

Chelsea: Nick.

Nick: Looks like somebody walked away with your hairbrush.

Roman: So? Are you gonna tell me what really happened?

Max: Nothing happened.

Roman: Max, you go out of your way to see a beautiful girl in a city like New York, things happen.

Max: We talked.

Roman: You talked.

Max: Yeah, about a lot of stuff. We kind of missed each other, and I missed how beautiful and smart a girl -- why am I talking to you about this?

Roman: Because I'm your brother and you need to tell somebody. So, now what happened after all this talking?

Max: Well, Chelsea showed up and I crashed in the chair.

Roman: Wait a minute. Let me get this straight here. New York City, two beautiful girls in a hotel room, and you sleep in a chair?

Max: Go ahead, laugh. Laugh it up.

Roman: And you call yourself a Brady? No, seriously. It sounds like you had more than enough time to give me a call.

Max: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know I had to check in with you, Dad.

Roman: You didn't get my message?

Max: What message?

Roman: Well, I asked Maggie to tell Abby to have you call me.

Max: Wait, Maggie knows I was in New York with Abby?

Roman: Is that a problem?

Max: Damn it, Roman. You call yourself a cop.

Lucas: So, you trust E.J.'s instincts more than mine, right?

Kate: You're in love. You can't see what I see. I think Sami is gonna break your heart and it's killing me.

Lucas: You said you'd try. You said you'd do that.

Kate: I have tried, Lucas.

Lucas: There's a big difference. You pretended to try, all right? That's why I push you out of my life.

Kate: Listen to me, okay? Listen to me -- how many times have you caught Sami crying lately, huh? 'Cause it's not all related to the pregnancy. How many times have you had to talk her back from the edge? Ask yourself does that honestly sound like a woman who is ready to settle down and be married, to be your wife? Because if you can answer yes to that question, that will end this discussion and I will never, ever mention it again.

E.J.: Well, I'm amazed of your precognitive power, Samantha. "Precognitive" means --

Sami: I know what it means.

E.J.: Mm-hmm. Then you know that this baby is mine?

Sami: Yeah.

E.J.: Then why would you go to such elaborate means to deceive me?

Sami: I should think that's obvious. Because I didn't want you to take our child and disappear with him the instant it's born and I would never see it again.

E.J.: Why would you think that I would do that?

Sami: Because you told me you would, and I know what your family is capable of.

E.J.: So you'd rather have Lucas raise our baby?

Sami: He knows something is up. I can't even look him in the eye. And he knows the real lie.

E.J.: Oh, really? There are so many lies, Samantha. What is the real lie?

Sami: What I really want.

E.J.: What is it Samantha really wants?

Sami: I want this baby to be yours.

E.J.: Oh, bravo. Oh, that's just fantastic. Well done. What a wonderful performance, Samantha.

Sami: I'm not gonna hide it anymore.

E.J.: You're not gonna hide it. Why would you possibly want this baby to be mine?

Sami: So that my son or daughter doesn't ever have to feel the way that I do right now -- weak and manipulated. I want him to grow up strong and in control. I want him to face his enemies, not run from them. And I know you can teach him that. You can teach him so that he can have anything he wants if he wants it badly enough. I want our baby to be a DiMera.

Nick: I thought -- I thought you'd be happy.

Chelsea: I don't know what to say.

Nick: Say thanks.

Chelsea: Nick, what you did was really --

Nick: I did it because I believe in you, Chelsea.

Chelsea: Yeah, but you can get in a lot of trouble.

Nick: I don't care. It's worth it. What's worse than losing the girl of your dreams?

Chelsea: You really do care about me, don't you?

Nick: Care about you? I love you, Chelsea. I would do anything for you. So let me worry about trashing my life, okay?

Chelsea: Oh, my God, Nick. That's it. That's it -- the trash.

Nick: What?

Chelsea: Give me your backpack.

Nick: What? Here? Chelsea, wouldn't this be better if we throw it over a bridge or put it in a dumpster or something?

Chelsea: No, it's perfect here. It's right under their noses, and they'll never think to look here in their own backyard.

Nick: Sometimes you scare me.

Chelsea: Back at ya.

Nick: Let's get out of here.

Chelsea: Don't you think that maybe you should go first?

Nick: Why?

Chelsea: Well, just because I'm supposed to be waiting for my dad.

Nick: Or...you got what you wanted and now it's "see you, Nick" time.

Chelsea: Nick, that's not it.

Nick: Okay, 'cause I was pretty into the idea of us having another shot once this whole mess cleared up.

Chelsea: We'll have another shot.

Nick: Okay. Just know that, you know, that's what Marissa Daniels said when I helped her pass physics, and Deanna Martin said the same thing when I let her peek at my math-analysis final.

Chelsea: Nick, I promise you, I'm not using you, okay? We're in this together.

Nick: All right. Does that mean that you forgive me for...you knowing your mom?

Chelsea: Mm-hmm.

Nick: 'Cause, I mean, if this was all about you getting what you want and then leaving and –

Chelsea: That's what this is about, okay? Got any more questions?

Lucas: All right, yeah, you're right. Sami is all over the place. She's supposed to be.

Kate: Could you not be defensive, please?

Lucas: I'm not defensive. I don't appreciate you sharing my personal problems with E.J. Wells.

Kate: It's not like we took out an ad in the local paper.

Lucas: It doesn't matter. The next time you have a little chat with him, give him this message for me, and for you, too -- if you hurt Sami, you hurt me.

Kate: Oh, God. This is worse than I thought. Bartender.

Lucas: You're not having any more to drink, all right? I want you to have a clear mind. I want you to listen to what I'm about to say because I'm only gonna say it once. Are you ready?

E.J.: Why do you think that I would take this baby?

Sami: Because it's what you people do. You take what you want. You don't care who gets hurt.

E.J.: If you have such a low opinion of me, Samantha, why do you want me to be the father of this child?

Sami: Because I'll do whatever I have to, to keep this baby.

E.J.: Well, that should make this pretty easy. Okay, you want to keep the baby? I'll do that under the following conditions.

Sami: Let's hear it.

E.J.: One -- your rather convincing performance notwithstanding, I'm not entirely convinced, so we're going to tell Lucas that there is only a 50% chance that he's that baby's father. And I trust that shortly after, we'll be getting all the medical stuff out the way so we can confirm your suspicions.

Sami: Lucas will leave me.

E.J.: Good. That should make my second condition pretty easy for you to follow through. The wedding, the engagement -- off.

Sami: And then?

E.J.: Then if...medical science confirms that I am a father...you and the baby, I look after you for the rest of the pregnancy, okay? You stay with me. You want for nothing. Do we have a deal?

Chelsea: Okay. We're gonna need to think of a cover story to tell your boss.

Nick: All right, let's just get out of here. I can't think around the freakin' po-po.

Chelsea: Okay, I'm gonna go tell them that I couldn't wait for my dad, something came up.

Nick: Okay, just make sure you say something about how you're gonna call him later so that it doesn't sound suspicious.

Chelsea: Hmm, you're pretty good at this cover-up thing.

Nick: Yeah, well, I'm hanging with the right kind of people.

Chelsea: Okay, I'll be right back. Okay, ready?

Nick: Yeah, let's go.

Kate: Could you stop being so dramatic?

Lucas: What, you think it's a joke, don't you?

Kate: No. No, actually, I don't think it's a joke because I'm not laughing.

Lucas: Well, good, 'cause I don't care anymore. I don't care if you come to the wedding. I don't care if you accept Sami anymore. Forget it.

Kate: I don't believe that.

Lucas: Look, if you ask me to choose between you and my future wife, I'm gonna pick my future wife every time. You understand me? And you can pay.

E.J.: This is a limited-time offer, Samantha. If you dare string me along, I'm gonna call Lucas and he will know immediately that we spent the night together.

Sami: Okay. I'll do it. All of it.

E.J.: There's still the issue of you keeping up your end of the bargain.

Sami: I said I will.

E.J.: You say many things, Samantha. Very few of which turn out to be credible. If I knew you were sincere...it would change everything for us.

Celeste: Darling, no, listen -- it's more than that. You are his weakness, Samantha, his Achilles' Heel. So use it. If you offer yourself, he will come to you.

Sami: See, E.J., I think you'd be a fool to trust me again. I don't think you should take your eyes off of me. Watch my every move. Don't listen to a word I say or how I say it. I think you shouldn't take anything at face value. See, I think trust weakens people. And I know you're not a weak man. And no matter what you think of me, E.J...I am not a weak woman.

Lucas: No one's gonna be able to pin a thing on him. It looks like I got him right now.

Billie: I'm not gonna let you take him down.

Kate: You and dear, sweet Sami -- the oddest odd couple in Salem I would say.

Celeste: Oh, will you shut up, Kate?

E.J.: If you're not gonna be my wife, then I'm not gonna let you be a mother to this child.

Abe: So, if there is something you want to tell me, now's the time. But is it true?

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