Days of Our Lives Transcript Monday 1/1/07 - Canada; Tuesday 1/2/07 - U.S.A.
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Nick: Okay, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm -- I -- I -- I don't know -- I-I haven't done this before.
Billie: You've never done this before? You're kidding me. You mean you're a virgin?
Nick: Can we -- can we drop it?
Billie: I think it's sweet. Hey. Lucky for you, I've done this a few times. Just do what feels good, okay? Okay.
Chelsea: Um, yes, your meal does come with the vegetable of the day... whatever that is.
Customers: Usually we get bread.
Chelsea: Yeah, you do. And don't worry, you will. I'm gonna go grab you your basket of bread and then I will be right back to take your drink orders, which, let's face it, is the best part of the meal, right? Okay, I'll be right back.
Maggie: Table 10 is waiting for their water. And you never take food orders until after they've had their drinks. Money's in the drinks, Chelsea. We've been over this.
Chelsea: Right, um, I will do better.
Willow: What are you doing working my shift?
Max: Hey. I missed you. Um... sorry. I'm just happy to see you again.
Mimi: Me too. It's so late. Do you know why they called us down here?
Max: No, I hope they have a lead on whoever kidnapped us and stashed us in that basement.
Mimi: You mean Victor.
Max: We think it's Victor. It could be anyone.
Mimi: Did you hear about Belle's dad?
Max: Kayla called the whole family.
Mimi: What is going on in this town, Max? It's like this dark cloud is passing over us and it won't go away. I'm really starting to get scared.
Max: Hey, no, nothing's gonna happen to you. I won't let it.
Tek: Well, hello to you, too.
Lexie: I'm not sure they bought it, Tek.
Tek: What did Roman say?
Lexie: He just kept asking me, "are you sure the shooter at the boathouse was E.J. Wells?"
Tek: So you said yes.
Lexie: I managed to stop just short of saying yes. Listen, Tek, I need to be sure before I say I'm sure. I need you to tell me, are you absolutely positively sure, beyond any doubt, that E.J. shot John?
Sami: Lucas. It's good to see your eyes open.
Lucas: It's good to have them open so I can see you.
Sami: Is there anything I can get you? Some water or something?
Lucas: Just fill in the blanks for me, all right? I don't remember much.
Sami: What's the last thing you remember?
Lucas: Will. Will and my mom.
Sami: They weren't with us.
Lucas: I was just probably hallucinating 'cause of the cold and the pain, having that damn ceiling beam on my leg like that.
Sami: Well, what did they say?
Lucas: Will, uh, will told me to hang in there and that you'd be back for me.
Sami: That's my boy. What else?
Lucas: Well, my mom didn't have such nice things to say about you. But don't worry about it. It was only in my mind, right?
Sami: You know what? I don't care. I don't care about any of that. I'm just so relieved that you are okay, Lucas.
Lucas: I just don't understand one thing. I mean, who did that? Who got that beam off my leg like that?
Like sands through the hourglass, so are the Days of our Lives.
Sami: I got you out.
Lucas: You lifted that huge beam off me like that?
Sami: I don't know how I did it. I guess just seeing the man that I love so close to dying gave me a strength that I didn't know I had. Anyway, after I got the beam off you, I wrapped you in a blanket and I carried you out.
Lucas: You carried me out?
Sami: Well, I guess it was more like dragging. It wasn't very pretty, but... I was just so afraid that if I gave up, if I stopped...that you wouldn't make it. So I just kept going, and I pulled you all the way to the road, and then this trucker came by and he gave us a ride to the hospital.
Lucas: It's just unbelievable.
Lucas: Yeah, really. It's amazing. I can't believe you did that.
Sami: That's the power of love.
Lucas: There is one thing I remember.
Sami: Really? What?
Lucas: Some awesome sex dreams. They were. They were amazing.
Lucas: I hope they were real. I hope they really happened.
Sami: [Laughs] Um, well, I can tell you there was a fireplace and some blankets and having to keep each other warm. Yeah. Why do you think the roof caved in?
Lucas: I love you.
Sami: Oh, Lucas. Lucas, I was so afraid I was gonna lose you. [Sighs]
Chelsea: Willow, I didn't see your name written on the job. And weren't you just in jail? What did you do, escape?
Willow: Oh, unlike you, I didn't kill anybody. Now get my uniform off your back.
Chelsea: You know what's funny? I thought it was a little big. Hey, why did you even take that cool orange jumpsuit off? They're just gonna have to throw it back on you when you go in the slammer for good next time.
Willow: You got too many damn teeth.
Chelsea: Oh, do you want to fight me? 'Cause I'm game.
Tek: I searched around on the web and I found a few pictures of E.J. Wells so I could be absolutely positive that he's the guy I saw in the boathouse.
Lexie: Okay, you better be sure, Tek, because if I finger him and he turns out to have an airtight alibi, I'm dead, okay? Abe will find out I was with you and my marriage is over.
Tek: I can say a few things right now, but I'm gonna hold off. E.J. Wells is the guy that I saw shoot John Black. That's it. So, just stay calm and there shouldn't be any problem --
Lexie: I just love how you tell me to stay calm. You're the one who got me into this mess.
Tek: I'm doing my best to help you and John.
Lexie: Look, I just need your guarantee that I won't be found out.
Abe: Oh, well. I'm glad that you two could come down to the station.
Max: Yeah, um, did you find the person behind our kidnapping? Is it Victor?
Abe: Well, actually, we're still working on that. Roman and I wanted you two to come down so we could question you about that skeleton you found in the basement.
Mimi: Our Civil War Soldier? We didn't mean to disturb an archeological site.
Abe: Well, that's where this gets very interesting. That skeleton isn't from the 1800s. He has modern dental work, and the fabric on his uniform is partly synthetic. So someone wants us to think that he's an old forgotten soldier from a century and a half ago.
Mimi: But why?
Abe: Maybe so we wouldn't notice the heavy trauma on his skull. You two uncovered a crime scene. Our skeleton's a murder victim. [Sighs]
Mimi: That is so creepy. We were down in that cellar with a guy who had been killed like last year?
Abe: Could be. Could have been 25 years ago.
Max: Well, how can we help?
Abe: Well, right now we don't have clear forensic evidence.
Max: Ooh, right. Our fault.
Mimi: Sorry, it was Christmas Eve. We didn't know what was going on.
Max: We were just trying to make the best out of a bad situation.
Abe: It's not your fault. You didn't know. And Roman and I called you down here so you could share what information you do have.
Mimi: Well, sure.
Max: Yeah, what do you need to know?
Abe: Well, describe for me exactly how you discovered those bones.
Max: Um, well, we were down in the basement, and there was this sledgehammer, and that's when I got the idea of trying to bust through, breaking down the wall. All it got us was to another room. Um, anyway, when I busted through the wall, that's when the Civil War skeleton fell on Mimi.
Mimi: I'm glad I didn't know he was murdered.
Abe: What else did you find in that sealed room?
Mimi: Oh. I brought this. We found this on the skeleton.
Max: Right, the ring.
Mimi: Yeah, I forgot I had it. It's got this unusual symbol on it. See?
Abe: Yeah. Well, I better get this down to the lab. Could you two stick around until I get back?
Max: No, no problem. [Door opens] Who needs sleep anyway, right? Hey, what's wrong?
Mimi: Ugh, you know, the more I think about it, that ring -- I feel like -- I feel like I've seen it before.
Mimi: Yeah, and now that I know that the guy was murdered...
Mimi: I don't know. I just -- I have this really awful feeling that I know the person who used to be wrapped around those bones.
Tek: Here I am, trying to do you a favor.
Lexie: Oh, is that what you call pushing your way into my car?
Tek: I had to talk to you.
Lexie: Oh, right, it's always about you, isn't it, Tek? If my marriage ends, you couldn't care less, as long as you get what you want.
Tek: I'm here, aren't I? For you.
Lexie: Tek, you're the reason I ended up in those woods, so don't even think about asking me to thank you.
Tek: If you hadn't been there, your pal Marlena would be ordering a coffin for John right now. You kept him alive till the paramedics got there. You did a good thing, Lexie. You're a hero.
Nick: Mrs. Reed.
Billie: Hello, Nick.
Nick: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Billie: Nick, Nick, Nick, stop saying, "Oh, my God."
Nick: But did this -- what hap-- did we, um -- I'm so sorry.
Billie: Why? Was it that bad?
Nick: Bad? No, no, no, no, no. It was -- it was -- it was great. It was -- it was -- it was incredible. Oh, my God, it was so wrong.
Billie: Why? Nick, we're both adults.
Nick: Ms. Reed, I'm your daughter's friend. Oh. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. You're not gonna tell Chelsea, are you?
Sami: Yeah, they're still not sure if John's gonna make it.
Lucas: Damn E.J. Wells. The cops pick him up yet?
Sami: I think he got away.
Lucas: How's your mom doing?
Sami: She's, um, she's not doing well, you know. She...she's having a hard time, but, you know, I held her hand and I talked to her, and it felt good to be there for her, you know, like a role reversal, kind of.
Lucas: Yeah, she's always been there for you.
Sami: She's there for everyone. And [Sighs] It was my turn to help her. I mean, it's cool 'cause we're not just mother/daughter now. I feel like we're friends, too.
Lucas: I'm glad. I'm glad you could be there for her.
Sami: And you know what else? She's happy for us. She's glad we're back together.
Lucas: One out of two ain't bad.
Lexie: This is so easy for you, isn't it? I mean, really, you have nothing to protect.
Tek: I wanted to take care of you, but you chose to be --
Lexie: I chose my husband. That's right, I'd do it again. I love Abe. We have a child together. Biggest mistake of my life was getting mixed up with you.
Tek: Okay, we've established that. Let's move on from that now. What do you want from me?
Lexie: I want you to swear on the bible that you are absolutely positively certain that you saw E.J. Wells shoot John.
Tek: I told you I'm sure.
Lexie: Roman wants me to look at a photo lineup.
Tek: So what's the problem? You know how it works. You were a cop once.
Lexie: I know how it works. I know what E.J. looks like. I can pick him out of a lineup. The question is, can you?
Tek: I already told you it was E.J. If you don't want to believe me, I guess we're gonna have a problem.
Chelsea: Look, Mrs. Horton, I'm really, really sorry. I don't know why I let her upset me so much.
Willow: I have been your best service person since day one, Mrs. Horton, and I've always been professional.
Maggie: Chelsea, you have tables waiting. Please take care of them.
Chelsea: Yes, ma'am.
Maggie: Um, the last thing I heard what that you were behind bars.
Willow: It was a misunderstanding.
Maggie: Uh, something about a fire at Shawn's apartment?
Willow: Shawn and I had a fight, stuff caught fire. It was just one of those dumb things. Like I told the cops, it was a domestic disturbance that led to an accident.
Maggie: Well, that's not the way I heard it.
Billie: I don't normally share the details of my love life with Chelsea. You two are just friends, right?
Nick: Oh, right. Yeah. Um...no, it's, uh [Sighs] It's not that. It's just I'd rather not have people know.
Billie: [Laughing] That makes two of us. I mean, I'm old enough to be your mother.
Nick: Oh, no. You, uh [Sighs] You're gorgeous. I never even thought about that.
Billie: Can I ask you something personal?
Billie: Extremely personal. Was this really your first time?
Lucas: Mom, what are you doing here?
Kate: Ah, what kind of question is that?
Lucas: I thought you were in Canada?
Kate: I was in Canada, and I heard about John, and I came back to see how he is, to see him, and then the nurse tells me that you're in the hospital.
Lucas: Just relax, okay? It's just a broken leg. It's fine thanks to Sami.
Kate: Thanks to Sami? Well, of course it's her fault. What did you do to my son this time? You know, you're just not gonna stop until you ruin his life, are you?
Lucas: She saved my life. Stop it. I was trapped under a ceiling beam, and she stormed in, and she lifted it up, and she dragged me out of there.
Sami: Yeah, I mean, I pulled and kind of dragged. It wasn't exactly easy.
Kate: Pulled and kind of dragged. Really?
Lucas: Well, yeah, really. If it wasn't for her, I'd be dead right now.
Kate: Hmm. Well, I'm having a very hard time believing this, but if it's true, I guess I would owe you a thank you, Sami.
Sami: I -- what did I just hear? Did your mother -- Lucas, did you just hear your mother thank me?
Kate: Just knock it off, okay?
Sami: But honestly, Kate, this is like a once-in-a-lifetime thing. I just want to keep it forever.
Kate: I'm telling you, if you don't stop, I'll just take it back.
Sami: Oh, well, I wouldn't want that. Look, Kate, I don't want to fight with you for the rest of my life. Can we just please set aside everything that we have done to each other over the years? I do not want to be enemies forever. Because Lucas and I -- we're back together. And, um, we're gonna stay together, right, Lucas? That was the good part of what happened. We officially got back together.
Max: Look, I've been around a little bit, Mimi. And I've been in lust with a fair number of women. But what happened down in that basement with you, it was different for me.
Mimi: You mean no lust.
Max: No. I like you a lot.
Mimi: I'm not sure why.
Max: Mimi --
Mimi: Especially after what I did to Shawn.
Max: He should have given you another chance. I mean, you are a strong woman, someone a guy can count on. You've definitely proven that the last couple of days.
Mimi: Well, you gave me courage.
Max: You've been through so much in your life, your whole life, and you never give up.
Mimi: I get that from my mom. It's her best quality...and her worst, depending on the situation.
Max: Well, I like it. Some women cave when their marriages fall apart, and not you. You went out and you got two jobs, not one.
Mimi: Well, when you need money...
Max: You helped me keep the garage from foreclosing. And then when Steve and Kayla almost died... I couldn't have handled that without you.
Max: I want to say this. The most amazing thing about being trapped in that basement with you is that we were like on this great adventure together, you know? Uh...am I the only one that feels that? I mean...is there something going on between us, Mimi?
Lexie: We're going to have a problem? No, Tek, I don't think so. I'm going to have the problem. I am the State's entire case against John's shooter. If E.J. Wells turns out not to be guilty, they're gonna smell a scam, and guess who they're gonna come after. Not us -- me.
Tek: Okay, Lexie, if I could think of something more to reassure you, I would say it, but E.J. is the shooter.
Lexie: No doubts?
Tek: None. If I could be there with you when Roman shows you the photos, I would love to so I could I.D. him myself.
Lexie: Maybe you can.
Willow: Okay, you heard about the fire from, let me guess, the Brady’s, Shawn's mom and dad?
Maggie: We're family.
Willow: Is that why you hired Chelsea?
Maggie: I wanted to give her a chance for Bo and Hope's sake. Yes.
Willow: Well, I don't have family and now I don't have Shawn. His parents convinced him that he's too good for me. Look, I really need this job. It's all I've got.
Maggie: You're trying to make me feel guilty and I shouldn't fall for it. I don't think you're a very stable young lady. You have a very violent streak, Willow.
Willow: You're running a business, not a charity. Nobody works longer hours, serves more tables, sells more drinks. You told me I was the best worker you ever had.
Maggie: Not best. The most promising.
Willow: Well, your third cousin twice removed or whatever she is can't figure out which drink belongs to which person. What restaurant are those people going to eat at next time?
Nick: Why would I lie about something so embarrassing? Yeah, this is my first... experience. I'm sorry if you thought you were getting somebody who knew what he was doing.
Billie: Hey, you figured it out. I'm impressed.
Nick: Get out. Really?
Billie: It was nice.
Nick: Nice? Pbht! Sex's not supposed to be nice.
Billie: It's not?
Nick: No, it's sex. It's supposed to be...hot and exciting and, um, amazing... at least it was for me.
Billie: Well, it was for me, too.
Billie: Yeah, really. [Both chuckle] So, why'd you wait this long?
Nick: Well, um...I gave it a couple shots, but I'm not exactly most girls' dream guy.
Billie: I think you're cute.
Nick: Well, that makes one of you.
Billie: Have you ever been in love?
Nick: Yes. I think so, but it's -- it was just A...a one-sided thing.
Billie: Well, someday you will meet the right girl. But in the meantime...shut up and kiss me.
Chelsea: Oh, actually, that's not yours. But I will be right back with the ones that are, but enjoy your bread. I got that right.
Maggie: Okay, I'll make you a deal. You can have your job back starting tomorrow.
Maggie: Unh-unh, I'm not finished. You can start working here again if you train Chelsea tonight.
Willow: Train that moron in one night.
Maggie: Oh, well, you said you were the best. Prove it to me.
Chelsea: Um, our fish special is...sea bass...I think. Um...no, it's actually red snapper. My mom loves red snapper. It comes with --
Willow: I'm sorry, folks. This is Chelsea's first night at Chez Rouge. She forgot the menus changed for the holidays, so I'll go through the specials for you. Tonight we have a harvest vegetable pate studded with cranberries. And for the entrée, we have...
Sami: I know it's a miracle, but Lucas and I are back together for good this time, right?
Lucas: That's right. Forever.
Kate: Well, in that case, I wish you both the best of luck.
Lucas: Well, thank you. You see that? My two favorite women getting along. That's awesome.
Kate: You should get some rest.
Lucas: I will.
Kate: You know, Sami...I really am grateful to you for saving my son.
Sami: Did she really just say that?
Tek: Me at the photo lineup. How are we gonna pull that one off, some of your mom's voodoo magic?
Lexie: Cellphone magic. I'll get Roman out of the room somehow, just for a minute. I'll snap a picture of the lineup with my cellphone camera, e-mail it to you. You make the I.D. and text it back to me.
Tek: Lexie, there's a lot of room for something to go wrong.
Lexie: Look, I have to take that chance, okay? I have to be sure.
Tek: See, we both know what E.J. looks like.
Lexie: What if there's someone else in the lineup, some other suspect --
Tek: What do you think, they're trying to trip you up?
Lexie: Tek, this is my half-brother we're talking about. I am betraying the DiMera’s. Do you understand how serious this is? I am putting Abe and Theo's lives in jeopardy. Meanwhile, if the real shooter is someone else... [Sighs] Look, I-I just need you to confirm this, okay, before I go on the record saying something I can never take back.
Tek: Look, I'll do anything you want me to do. You know that.
Lexie: What I want is to never see or hear from you again. When this whole mess is over, we are done. You got that?
Abe: Well, I just sent the ring to the lab, and your skeleton pal's on his way to the morgue for post-mortem.
Mimi: Oh, gosh, poor guy... whoever he was.
Abe: I just hope the medical examiner can come up with something about our victim. Mimi, um...there's something you ought to know about your brother Patrick.
Mimi: What now?
Abe: I'm afraid he's in trouble. Big trouble. He was arrested tonight.
Tek: Where do you get off, Lexie? You rejected me. I should be telling you to get lost. Instead, I'm here trying to help you.
Lexie: I wouldn't need your help if you hadn't pushed your way into my car. What is it with you, Tek? I've told you that there is nothing here for you anymore.
Tek: Yeah, I got the message, lady.
Lexie: If you had gotten it, I wouldn't be in the trouble I'm in right now. I could have been killed tonight, Tek. My little boy could have lost his mother, and now I'm gonna have to lie in court, lie to my husband. Look, I can't take this anymore. I just need you out of my life.
Tek: You know how I love to please you, but that's not gonna happen. I'm in your life. Get used to it.
Roman: Kate. I thought you were in Canada with Victor.
Kate: Yes, I was, but my son is in the hospital with a broken leg.
Roman: Well, Lucas has a cast on. He's fine. I'm sure you didn't fly all the way back here just to nurse him back to health.
Kate: [Chuckles] I don't owe you any explanations, now, do I?
Roman: Kate, I know the reason you went up there had to do with Philip.
Kate: [Sighs] Yes, Victor and I are Philip's parents. Next topic?
Roman: Okay, all right. Well, Max Brady and Mimi Lockhart got locked up in the basement of an abandoned church by somebody. Do you know anything about that?
Kate: No, I don’t. Why would I?
Roman: Well, because they got grabbed at Max's garage. I mean, you remember, the night that you told them to meet you there and then you didn't show up?
Kate: Oh, yes, I did. I drove by and the garage was dark, so I kept on going.
Roman: Damn good story, Kate. I don't buy it.
Kate: Well, it really doesn't matter because you can't prove that it's not true.
Chelsea: Since you're supposed to be so brilliant at this, do you want to remind me where table 9 is?
Willow: Those people must be awful hungry. Did they really order four dishes?
Chelsea: What? What are you talking about?
Willow: You got the order wrong.
Chelsea: Get the damn pad.
Willow: You got to be more stable. You have to have great posture while being a waiter.
Chelsea: Take your time, willow. I'm just holding 20 pounds of food here.
Willow: Hey, hey, tilt it to the left, yeah. I mean, tilt it to the right.
Chelsea: Would you just check the damn pad, please?
Willow: You have to tilt it a little bit more.
Chelsea: Which way? I'm tilting it.
Willow: You're gonna drop it again.
Chelsea: No, I'm not.
Willow: Just tilt it.
Chelsea: Thanks a lot, Willow. I'm really sorry about that.
Maggie: What? Oh. I asked you to train her, Willow.
Willow: I'm sorry, I tried. I bailed her out when she couldn't remember the specials.
Chelsea: Just the holiday specials.
Willow: It is the holidays, honey, and then I tried to get her organized, but you can see what happened. Impossible.
Chelsea: Look, I got to get better, right?
Maggie: Chelsea, I'm afraid waitressing isn't your calling. Leave your uniform in the locker room.
Chelsea: I don't believe this. You're firing me?
Maggie: I'm sorry, dear.
Willow: That's too bad.
Chelsea: Bad? Who are you kidding, Willow? Have fun waiting tables. See ya.
Abe: Your brother was arrested for kidnapping Hope.
Mimi: Kidnapping? Are you sure? He's the father of her baby. Maybe Bo's just overreacting again.
Abe: Mimi, Mimi. We're sure, we're sure. We're also pretty sure that he's E.J. Wells' accomplice in a number of crimes we're investigating. I'm sorry. Sorry, Mimi. Thanks for coming down, Max, Mimi.
Max: Do you want to sit down?
Mimi: No, I got to think. My mom -- I got to call her. She can't hear this from anyone else.
Max: Well, if you need me, doesn't matter what time it is, call me. All right?
Lexie: What do you think you're going to gain, Tek?
Tek: It's what you'll lose if I back off. The cops don't suspect anything's up with you, but you're their prime witness in a case that they want to solve real bad, so they're gonna be checking and double-checking every word you say. And you make one mistake and you're in the biggest trouble of your life. [Cellphone rings]
Abe: Hi, sweetheart. I just wanted you to know I'll be home soon.
Lexie: Oh, Abe, hi. Um, well, I was just in bed reading my favorite book. I'll wait up.
Abe: Well, that sounds good.
Lexie: Okay, see you soon. I have to get home. What are you doing?
Tek: You need me. Don't forget that.
Roman: Oh, come on, Katie, as a friend -- in fact, once upon a time, someone who was way more than a friend -- do you know anything about Max and Mimi's abduction?
Kate: [Chuckles] Way more than a friend? You must be pretty desperate. But sorry, no. No, I don't know anything about what happened to poor Mimi and Max, but since you are bringing up the past, I have a question for you.
Roman: Oh, now you got me nervous.
Kate: Oh, you should be nervous. So, I suppose that you heard about Sami's heroic rescue of my son, hmm?
Roman: Yes, I did, and I'm proud of her.
Kate: Oh, Roman, come on. You have to be kidding me. You think that she pulled a huge beam off Lucas, that she dragged him on a blanket through the snow all by herself? Come on, I'm not buying that.
Roman: Kate, come on. There are all kinds of documented stories about people getting superhuman strength when they're trying to save somebody they love.
Kate: Really? Well, Sami only loves Sami. Always has, always will. You and I both know that. Don't we? You know something, Roman? I really hate to burst your bubble with this, but if you're going to start asking questions, maybe the person that you should start with is your own daughter.
Nick: [Exhales sharply] Wow. This is, uh...this is good.
Billie: You're learning fast, grasshopper.
Nick: I locked into an amazing teacher.
Billie: Want to go again?
Nick: Oh, yeah. [Vehicle approaches] It's a car.
Billie: Pulling into my driveway.
Nick: Is it...
Nick: Oh, my God.
Billie: Oh, my God. Get dressed, get dressed.
Nick: I'm getting dressed. Uh, I need my other sneaker. I only have one of them.
Billie: Just go. Go out Chelsea's room. Go out the window.
Nick: Can you tell her I stopped by?
Billie: Just go.
Chelsea: Who does this belong to?
Billie: It's probably Patrick's.
Chelsea: I don't think so. It's a little too small to be Patrick's.
Shawn D.: I am gonna protect you and Claire. Do you understand? If we stick together, nobody can hurt us.
Marlena: He just kept repeating "killer." I wish I knew what he was trying to say.
Bo: "Killer" -- that's all he said?
Bonnie: If the cops ever ID who those bones belong to, you and I are in major trouble.
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