Days Transcript Wednesday 12/6/06

Days of Our Lives Transcript Wednesday 12/6/06 - Canada; Thursday 12/7/06 - U.S.A.


Provided By Eric
Proofread By Niki

Chelsea: Hey, everybody. It's me again, Angry Angel, back to vent. If anybody out there has been following my little blog thing or whatever, well, you're never gonna believe the latest. So, my dad got arrested for beating up this guy, right? And I think, "great, now he and my mom will finally get back together." But guess what. Didn't happen. Instead, he stays with his bitch of a wife, who, by the way, is pregnant with another guy's baby. Just thought that I'd throw that in there. And my mom just totally gives up on him, just lets him go. I mean, how crazy is that? Doesn't anybody fight for what they want anymore, for true love, for passion? I guess they wouldn't know passion anymore if it bit them in the butt anyway. Anyway, I'm sure that this all sounds lame and I should just get over it and move on, but -- I mean, who cares if mommy and daddy are together, right? If they want to be miserable for the rest of their lives, then that's their problem. But see, when they're miserable, they make me miserable. So if anybody has any idea how to solve this little problem of mine, please, talk to me.

Nick: I'll help you, Angry Angel. I know just what you need.

Mimi: Well, at least the trip wasn't a total waste. We know Philip's alive.

Max: Yeah, but something's not right.

Mimi: What?

Max: This business with Philip's whereabouts being classified.

Mimi: I know it seems kind of weird --

Max: No, it's more than just weird. I mean, think about it, Meems. Victor's got more money than God. He hires a boatload of pis to try and find his son and they totally strike out? They find nothing?

Mimi: Right.

Max: And you and I are on his trail in a matter of days. We find out he's reenlisted under Andrew Spivey. We find out he's been injured, the hospital he's at. We find out all of this without even trying.

Mimi: So what are you saying?

Max: What if Victor's lying, hmm? What if Philip's old man has something to hide?

Victor: Philip is getting along fine, Captain Shepherd, but I'm guessing that's not the reason you called.

Shepherd: No, we had a few visitors here at the hospital inquiring about Andrew Spivey, the missing marine.

Victor: And just who were these visitors?

Shepherd: According to the sign-in sheet, a Max Brady and Mimi Lockhart-Brady.

Victor: I see. Well, thank you for calling.

Shepherd: Is there anything more I can do, Mr. Kiriakis?

Victor: No, I'll handle it from here.

John: Right now.

Marlena: Right now? Right here? Oh, my gosh. How is that possible?

John: You just say yes, and I'll show you.

Marlena: Yes. Oh, yes, I would marry you anywhere, anytime. Absolutely, yes.

John: You just made me the happiest man in the world.

Marlena: John... oh, my!

John: Marlena, I'd like you to meet Father Dunalay. I had him standing by. I got a special dispensation from the bishop so we could be married here just in case you said yes.

Marlena: What if I said no?

John: Then he'd have given me last rites, 'cause I can't live without you, baby.

Marlena: [Laughs] Oh, you. You.

John: I think we're ready.

Marlena: Oh, you. [Laughs]

Fr. Dunalay: We are gathered here tonight under the veil of heaven to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony, to love one another and to do God's will until they are called to their heavenly reward.

Like sands through the hourglass, so are the Days of our Lives.

Victor: Philip, you should be in your room. We can't run the risk of your being seen. That was Captain Shepherd. It seems that your friends Max and Mimi showed up at the V.A. Hospital looking for Andrew Spivey. Seems they've figured out that it's you, or at least they suspect. Oh, don't worry. We'll be out of here soon enough, off to Montreal, where the person they know as Philip will cease to exist, or at least the face that they know. "Meantime, what about Max and Mimi?" That's a very good question.

Max: I think Victor's known where Philip is all along. I think it's worth checking out.

Mimi: How?

Max: Maybe we'll go straight to the source.

Mimi: You mean Victor.

Max: Mm-hmm. We pay the old man a visit. We lay our cards on the table and see how he reacts.

Mimi: I can tell you how he'll react, and it won't be pretty.

Abby: Steph, thank you so much for doing this. When I offered to help aunt Maggie decorate, Chelsea promised to lend me a hand. And believe it or not, she flaked out on me.

Stephanie: Oh, I believe the second part. Anyway, I'm totally into the holiday spirit, so it's not a problem. It's fun.

Abby: Yes, it is. And you know, I am so glad for your parents. You know, you guys are just gonna have an amazing Christmas together.

Stephanie: I know. Can you believe it? After all these years... speaking of Christmas and families, you must be missing yours a lot.

Abby: Yeah, I am, but they're doing great. We call and e-mail each other all the time, so we probably talk more than ever. And you know, with school and my job, I've just been really busy.

Stephanie: How, uh, how is the job? I haven't seen your boss around lately.

Abby: Oh, Max went out of town with Mimi.

Stephanie: Really? With Mimi. What's up with that?

Abby: You care?

Stephanie: Uh, actually, no, I really don’t. He barely even bothered to come and visit me in the hospital when we were almost killed in the Salem Grand Prix.

Abby: I know.

Stephanie: And then I had to find out from Frankie that he wanted to dump me. He didn't even have the guts to do it himself. So as far as I'm concerned, Max Brady is a jerk -- cute, but a jerk.

Abby: You know what? Max is not a jerk, okay? He's a nice guy. And you know, if you're just gonna talk bad about him, then I don't want to be a part of it.

Chelsea: Hello? Is there anybody out there? Anyone at all? Don't all chime in at once.

Nick: "I'm here, Angel. Never fear. The answer to all your hopes and dreams, coming at ya."

Chelsea: Finally. This better not be from "Horny in Milwaukee" again. "To Angry Angel, from lonely splicer"? Lonely splicer? "I've caught your blog a few times now, and all I can say is I know how you feel because I feel the same."

Nick: "All alone, like if you disappeared tomorrow, no one would notice. It's a loneliness so deep and so mind-numbing, you want to reach out to anyone who can help fill the gaping hole... in your heart."

Chelsea: "To help you through another day, another night in a world that doesn't make sense. Someone to connect with, someone who understands."

Nick: "But no one answers. And even if they did, how could you trust them anyways? You've been hurt, let down, abandoned so many times."

Chelsea: "Can you risk your heart again? Is it worth it?" "Who are you? How do you know me so well?"

John: Father, before we proceed any further, I'd like to say something to my blushing bride. Marlena... we've done this before. We have stood in front of God and pledged our commitment to each other. I just want you to know that the vows I'm about to take I don't take for granted, because I have come close to losing you too many times before. But the one thing that has always brought us back together is our love. And because that bond is unbreakable and everlasting, "till death do us part" are not just words to repeat. For us, it's the truth. Just as the sun rises and sets, our hearts will be one forever. I love you, baby.

Marlena: I love you. I love you. I love you.

Fr. Dunalay: Santa cella, we seem to be getting ahead of ourselves.

Victor: I understand your concern, Philip. If Max and Mimi continue playing detective, there's a chance they can figure out our plans for you and Claire. But seeing as much as they're amateurs, it's a pretty slim chance. But don't worry. If they pose a threat, I'll do whatever it takes to stop them. Don't worry. I won't hurt them. But if it does get critical, I'll have to figure out a way to put them out of commission for as long as necessary. Agreed?

Mimi: I'm serious. This could be dangerous. If Victor is behind Philip's disappearance, he won't like us poking our noses in his business.

Max: I'm not afraid of him.

Mimi: Well, you should be. You said yourself.

Max: No, but Philip is our friend. And if we confront the old man just as concerned friends, then maybe he'll come clean.

Mimi: Uh-huh, and what if he doesn't?

Max: If he tells us to go to hell, we find another way to get the truth.

Mimi: The last thing I want is you getting your butt into hot water with Victor Kiriakis. Or my butt, either.

Max: I promise I'll be watching your butt -- I mean your back. You know what I meant. I can handle this. Trust me.

Stephanie: Abby, just relax, okay? All I'm saying is if Max wanted to break up with me, he could've been more of a man about it.

Abby: Well, maybe he didn't want to hurt your feelings. Did you ever think of that?

Stephanie: You like him, don't you?

Abby: Excuse me?

Stephanie: Yeah, you're totally into him. You have a little crush.

Abby: No, I like Max as a friend.

Stephanie: Uh-huh, but you wouldn't mind if it turned into more.

Abby: Can we just stop talking about this? Max is a good guy. End of story. And you'll find somebody else.

Stephanie: I don't know. I'm starting to think all guys are jerks, at least the ones I end up liking, anyway.

Abby: I feel the same way. But you know what? You just have to be patient. I mean, one day, the perfect guy is gonna come along and --

Stephanie: Perfect guy? Please. There is no such thing. That much I know for sure.

Chelsea: Guess what, guys. I just found the perfect guy. I'm so in love.

Fr. Dunalay: Hear our prayers for Marlena and John. With faith in you and in each other, they pledge their love tonight. May their lives always bear witness to the reality of that love.

Marlena: I, marlena, take you, John, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse...

John: For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do us part. I give you this ring as a symbol of our love. And with all that I am and all that I have, I honor you.

Marlena: As a ring has no end, so shall be my love for you. I choose you for my husband today and forevermore.

Fr. Dunalay: May almighty God bless you with his word and give you a long lifetime together.

Stephanie: You're in love with a freak from the internet?

Chelsea: Look, just because you're still bitter about Max --

Stephanie: I am so not bitter. Okay, maybe I am, but you know what? You were totally hot for Uncle Max yourself.

Chelsea: Yeah, but that was like ancient history. Besides, this new guy totally blows him away.

Abby: Yeah? What's so great about him?

Chelsea: Oh, everything -- the way he writes, the way he thinks.

Abby: Well, how did you two hook up?

Chelsea: He saw my video blog, and then he started IMing me.

Stephanie: [Laughs] You have a video blog?

Chelsea: Yeah. Anyway, his name is Lonely Splicer. And don't worry. He's not some psycho stalker or anything like that. He's just this really cool guy. And the best part is, he totally gets me...

Stephanie: Oh, brother.

Chelsea: ...Like nobody I've ever known before. I mean, like, my darkest, deepest thoughts and feelings, he -- he understands. And we've never even met.

Stephanie: Why do they call him Lonely Splicer? What kind of a name is that, anyway?

Abby: Maybe he's a director, like he splices films.

Chelsea: He totally could be. He's definitely got the soul of a film maker or some kind of artist.

Stephanie: Uh-huh. Or he's a serial killer that splices up his victims.

Chelsea: Very funny.

Abby: Ooh, are these his IM’S?

Chelsea: Yeah.

Abby: Let's see what he wrote.

Chelsea: Be my guest.

Abby: "Angry Angel, I hear you."

Stephanie: [Laughing]

Abby: "I know what you mean about parents..."

Stephanie: Angry Angel? Oh, my God.

Chelsea: Keep reading.

Abby: "...And how messed up they can be. It's like they've forgotten what it's like to be our age. Before you're even out of school, they expect you to plan out your whole life, as if it's possible to know where you want to be 10 years from now. I don't even know where I want to be tomorrow." "For now, just let me be free to live in the moment, to walk in the grass with no shoes, to spend a whole night counting stars, to take off my clothes and run with the wind -- metaphorically speaking, of course. I'm not a streaker."

Chelsea: See? He's got a sense of humor, too.

Nick: "And let me fall in love -- just once -- with someone who knows what I'm talking about. Most of all, let there be passion -- the kind you would die for. Give me that, and I'll never ask for anything again."

Stephanie: Wow.

Abby: Yeah, I mean, I see what you mean.

Chelsea: And that's nothing, you guys. Seriously, you need to see the other stuff he's written. It would blow you away.

Abby: So what happens now? What are you gonna do?

Chelsea: I've decided. I have to find this guy and tell him that we're soul mates, that we belong together.

Stephanie: That could be a big mistake.

Victor: Max.

Max: Hey.

Victor: Mimi, what a surprise.

Max: I'm sorry we didn't call first, but we really needed to talk to you in person.

Victor: Well, unfortunately, it's not a very good time.

Max: It's about Philip. It's important.

Victor: All right, come in.

Max: Thanks.

Victor: What about Philip?

Mimi: Well, we have some news, and it's not very good.

Max: Mimi and I did some investigating. We found out Philip reenlisted in the military under the name Andrew Spivey. And, well, we're really sorry to say this, but he was injured again.

Victor: Yes, I know about that. I've known about it all along.

Fr. Dunalay: And so, by the power vested in me by God and the holy mother church, I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Marlena: [Sighs excitedly] Oh!

Fr. Dunalay: [Speaking Italian] Amen. What God has joined together, let no man put asunder. I was gonna say, "you may kiss the bride," but you seem to need no instruction.

John: Well, Mrs. Black, were you surprised?

Marlena: Never more in my life.

John: Life is short. That's why we need to make the most of every minute together, starting right now.

Marlena: [Laughs]

Rico: Signore Black, I bring you word from the house of DiMera.

Mimi: You knew all along that Philip reenlisted under a fake name?

Victor: Yes.

Mimi: So you lied to Belle and Kate. You told them you searched everywhere and couldn't find him.

Victor: I had to lie. And now you two will have to lie as well.

Max: What are you talking about?

Victor: I want your word that you will not repeat what I'm about to tell you to anyone. It's crucial to Philip's safety. Do I have your word?

Max: Sure. But what does this have to do with Philip's safety?

Victor: Well, as you know, he was seriously injured and flown back to the States to a V.A. Hospital in Georgia.

Max: We were just there. We found out he was taken in the middle of the night.

Mimi: But we don't know where to. Supposedly it's classified information..

Victor: That's true. All I know is that he's being held in a safe house at an undisclosed location by the CIA.

Stephanie: Chelsea, come on. What if this "Lonely Splicer" really is a stalker or a serial killer?

Chelsea: He's not.

Stephanie: But how do you know?

Chelsea: Because. You read this, didn't you? This is a sweet, sensitive guy whose only crime is that, like me, he just wants to be left alone to do his own thing.

Stephanie: Hmm, the troubled loner. Yeah, they're real stable.

Chelsea: I didn't say completely alone. He's also looking for love.

Stephanie: "Passion."

Chelsea: Both. And I hate to say it, but I think his search is over.

Stephanie: But you don't even know what he looks like. I mean, come on! He could be 5'1" with a huge gut, zits all over his face, a nervous twitch. Come on.

Abby: Chelsea, I hate to say it, but Stephanie's right. I mean, this guy could be a troll.

Chelsea: No way. You guys, his soul is too beautiful.

Dr. Rebert: Keeping busy, Nick?

Nick: Oh, hey. I-I finished all my work. I was just killing time.

Dr. Rebert: You don't have to worry about it. You've put in your hours, and your research and lab notes are outstanding. You deserve a break. In fact, you know what? It's getting a little bit late. Why don't you just go ahead and take off?

Nick: Oh, yeah, I was actually planning on doing that. Um, thanks, Dr. Rebert. You have a nice night.

Dr. Rebert: You too. Oh, Nick... go have some fun tonight.

Nick: That is exactly what I intend to do.

John: And who the hell are you?

Rico: My name is Enrico, Rico to my friends. Congratulations on your wedding. Most touching.

Marlena: You were watching us?

Rico: I didn't want to interrupt.

John: You said you were sent by the DiMeras?

Rico: You sent word, Signore. You wish to make contact?

John: I'm family. Tony's my half brother. Stefano is my stepfather.

Rico: Then you must know the count is still in prison, thanks to your friends in Salem. He will remain for a very long time.

Marlena: God willing.

Rico: As for Stefano, your padrone, he, of course, is dead.

John: Yeah, well, we heard about that. But then again, he didn't get the name "The Phoenix" for nothing. He's risen from the ashes so many times. And if he is still alive, he's the one that's calling these shots.

Rico: How can I help you?

John: We have reason to believe that someone high in the DiMera organization is giving an operative orders in Salem. This person's causing a lot of trouble for a lot of my friends.

Rico: An operative. In Salem?

John: His name is E.J. Wells. I want to know what his true identity is and what his connection is to my family.

Rico: I'm sorry, signore. I don't know this E.J. Wells. I cannot help you.

John: You cannot or you will not?

Rico: My instructions are only to tell you that your half brother is still in prison and your stepfather --

John: Yeah, yeah, he's dead. I got that part.

Rico: His body lies in the family crypt.

John: Well, forgive me if I don't believe you, Rico. But you see, my half brother, before he was thrown in jail, he showed me a skeleton that belonged to Stefano. Did a little DNA test on it. Guess what. It wasn't him.

Rico: Again, I'm sorry, signore. Whatever you came here to learn, I'm afraid you wasted your time. And now, for your own safety and the safety of your beautiful bride, I feel it's best that you leave -- tonight.

John: Well, Rico, I think I got your drift loud and clear.

Rico: I was hoping you would. I knew you were a reasonable man. And now if you'll excuse me, I wish you both bon voyage and a safe trip back to Salem.

Marlena: He's not very friendly, is he?

John: No. But that was just Stefano warning us so he wouldn't have to show his face.

Marlena: He was trying to say that Stefano was dead.

John: If that's true, what's the big rush for us to get out of town? What are they afraid we're gonna find?

Marlena: I don't know.

John: Well, I do. The old man just tipped his hand. I'm convinced more than ever that he's still alive and kicking.

Marlena: I've got a bad feeling about this, John. If it's true, why don't we just let Abe and Roman handle it? They could contact the Italian police.

John: Stefano has always had friends with the Italian authorities. I'm gonna handle this myself. I'm gonna finish what I came here to do.

Marlena: You know what? Maybe he is finally dead and buried.

John: That's possible, but then again, there's only one way to find out.

Stephanie: Chelsea, come on. How can you be head over heels for a guy when you don't even know what he looks like?

Chelsea: You know what? It doesn't even matter.

Abby: Who are you, and what have you done with Chelsea?

Chelsea: I'm serious, you guys. I don't care if he's not the hottest guy in the world. On the inside, he's everything I'm looking for. Right now that's all that matters.

Abby: You really have lost it.

Stephanie: Trust me, she will not be saying that once she finds out he's short, bald, and weighs 500 pounds.

Chelsea: You know what? You are so superficial.

Abby: Chelsea, the real point here is that you don't even know the guy. He could be a 50-year-old perv who just wants to get you into bed.

Chelsea: I should have known that you guys wouldn't understand.

Abby: No, I do understand, Chelsea. It's called a reality check.

Chelsea: No, Abigail. This is reality. Splicer is not a freak, and the next time I talk to him, I will prove that to you.

Nick: Hey, sorry I'm late. I had a little private business to take care of.

Chelsea: I bet you did.

Abby: Late for what?

Nick: Oh, I told Aunt Maggie I'd help deck the halls, but it looks like you started without me. You're finished.

Abby: Just about, but we still have the mistletoe.

Nick: Mistletoe -- my favorite.

Abby: I'm gonna go get the tacks, and I'll let you do the honors.

Nick: [Clears throat] Care to, uh...[Clears throat] Help me hang it?

Chelsea: Oh, I'm sorry. You see, I have this really strict policy -- no free kisses for nerds.

Nick: Ah.

Max: The CIA? You're telling me the central intelligence agency is holding Philip, and with all your clout, you can't find out where?

Victor: I wish I could. It takes more than clout to go up against the national intelligence community.

Mimi: I don't get it. Why would the CIA want to keep Philip hidden somewhere?

Victor: From what I was told, he was involved in a very covert operation overseas. Now he's in the process of being debriefed. So all I can do is hope that he's being well treated and that he gets home as soon as possible.

Max: Yeah, but --

Victor: I would suggest that you do the same. National security and Philip's future are at stake.

Max: So you've said.

Victor: I'd hate for anything to happen to you two because of information I shared with you. It's best left alone.

Max: Is that a threat, Victor?

Marlena: Oh, John, I know that look. What are you up to?

John: I'm simply gonna find out for sure if Stefano is alive and well or dead and buried in the family crypt.

Marlena: What does that mean? Are you...gonna dig up his body?

John: I will if I have to.

Marlena: What if you're walking into some kind of trap?

Chelsea: You know, I hear that if you kiss a geek, you, like, turn into a bullfrog or something.

Nick: Want to try it and find out?

Abby: I have a better idea. Chelsea, why don't you give Nick a break? That is no way to talk to someone who just gave you his extra laptop and invited you as his guest to Thanksgiving dinner.

Nick: Actually, not a very good selling point, Abs. Chelsea bailed on the Brady Thanksgiving and me.

Chelsea: Well, I'm actually surprised you even noticed. You were so busy getting your ego stroked while my dad ranted and raved about how fabulous you were.

Nick: [Chuckles]

Chelsea: "Nick Fallon is the reason we can celebrate Thanksgiving. If it weren't for good old Nick, there wouldn't be any more Brady holidays." It was making me ill.

Nick: Oh, I'm sorry. You weren't getting enough attention.

Chelsea: Whatever. The Brady shindig just wasn't my thing, so I left.

Nick: No, no, no, no. But you're a Brady. Of course you belong. And if you want me to swing you an invite for Christmas, I am more than happy --

Chelsea: That won't be necessary, thank you.

Stephanie: You know what, Nick? Actually, Chelsea has a new boyfriend. She met him online. He's either a film editor or a serial killer. We're not sure which one yet.

Nick: Chelsea has a boyfriend? Uh...right on.

Chelsea: He's not my boyfriend...officially. He's just some guy that I found really interesting online.

Nick: Interesting, huh? Well, you know, tell me about him. What's he like?

Chelsea: None of your business.

Nick: Oh.

Chelsea: Abby, I'm gonna head out, but you know what? If you have time later, you should totally stop by my house. We can see if I got any more messages from my admirer.

Abby: Chels, I can’t. I have to wait till Aunt Maggie comes back.

Stephanie: I'll go.

Chelsea: You?

Stephanie: Yeah, I'm curious to see how an online romance develops. You never know. I might try it myself.

Chelsea: Okay. Um, just don't expect to get as lucky as I have. All right, let's go. I'll see you guys later.

Stephanie: Bye, Abby. It was nice seeing you again, Nick.

Nick: Oh, likewise. Say hi to your folks for me. [Clears throat]

Abby: Nick, I'm so sorry. The way Chelsea treats you --

Nick: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I like a girl with spunk.

Abby: You are insane.

Nick: No. Well, listen... I need to see your boss, Max Brady. I need him to help me score some wheels.

Abby: You're buying a car?

Nick: Yeah.

Abby: Nick, that's great. Max will totally hook you up with a good price..

Nick: Excellent. Excellent.

Abby: So, what are you looking for?

Nick: Something to impress a girl.

Victor: Of course it wasn't a threat. It was merely a plea for caution. You've been privy to some classified information. If the word got out, it could be very dangerous for us and for Philip. Can I trust you to be discrete?

Max: I already told you we wouldn't say anything.

Victor: What about you, Mimi?

Mimi: Sure.

Victor: Good. Thank you for your concern for my son. You're the kind of friends he's going to need when he gets home.

Max: We'll be there for him.

Victor: Good. Well, thank you for stopping by.

Mimi: Yes, thank you.

Victor: I'll let you know if there's any news.

Max: Please do. Good night, Victor.

Victor: Good night.

Mimi: Did you buy that whole thing about the CIA?

Max: Everything the old man said in there was a lie.

Mimi: How can you be sure Victor's lying?

Max: Because if this thing with Philip really did involve the CIA, he never would have said a word to us.

Mimi: You're right.

Max: Yeah, he came up with a story to keep us from digging and to keep our mouths shut about what we already know.

Mimi: So is that what we do?

Max: Are you kidding me? We've come this far. I say we find the truth -- all of it. What about you?

Mimi: I say you're the best. Thank you.

Victor: I assume you heard. Well, let's hope they take my advice and keep their nose out of it so we don't have to take further action.

Abby: So, you want to impress a girl, huh? Gee, I wonder who that is.

Nick: You don't think I have a chance.

Abby: I just wonder why you'd want to waste your time and your money. I mean, Chelsea is not --

Nick: Into me?

Abby: Not like that, especially now that she's met some online idiot.

Nick: [Clears throat] Can you keep a secret?

Abby: Sure. What is it?

Nick: I'm the online idiot.

Abby: You? You're Lonely Splicer?

Nick: That's right. The one and only.

Abby: I get it now -- like, gene splicing, right?

Nick: Very good.

Abby: It's never gonna work.

Nick: What do you mean?

Abby: Nick, the second Chelsea finds out who you are, you're history.

Nick: That's the thing. She won't find out, not until exactly the right time.

Abby: Are you crazy? I don't care what she says. She's gonna want to see a picture at the very least -- the guy behind "Mr. Perfect."

Nick: No worries. It's all been taken care of.

Chelsea: Yes. Lonely splicer sent me his picture.

Stephanie: All right. Well, download it. Let's take a look at the guy.

Chelsea: Please do not be a perv, a nerd, or an old geezer.

Stephanie: Whoa. He is freakin' gorgeous.

Chelsea: He's beyond freakin' gorgeous. Oh, my God. I think I'm in love.

Stephanie: Yeah, me too.

John: Trap or no trap, Doc, it's a chance I got to take.

Marlena: You can't just walk into a local cemetery and desecrate a family crypt.

John: Hey, I'll tell you, it's not high on my list of honeymoon activities, but how else are we gonna know who, if anyone, is buried in Stefano's tomb?

Marlena: What if we find Stefano's in there?

John: Then we'll have the greatest wedding present we could have asked for. We'll just put the lid back on it and head on home.

Marlena: And what if it's empty, John?

John: Well, then I foresee a family reunion in the very near future.

Woman: If I was running some kind of scam, I'd have grabbed that reward money and run.

Bo: Got your payoff from someone else, huh?

Patrick: I just want to spend some time with you. Is that too much to ask?

Hope: It wouldn't be if I was sure it was Bo who beat you up.

Nick: She'll be so in love with me, she couldn't possibly be upset.

Abby: Nick, were you raised in a test tube?

Nick: No.

Kayla: I'm fine, see? Look at me.

Steve: They want to kill us!

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