Days Transcript Thursday 9/7/06

Days of Our Lives Transcript Thursday 9/7/06 - Canada; Friday 9/8/06 - U.S.A.

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Shawn D.: Mmm. Mmm. Yum. It's good.

Mimi: There's no cure in the world like chicken soup.

Shawn D.: That's not what I was talking about. It's the person who's feeding me that's making me feel better.

Mimi: Aw. I'm just glad that you're back home and everything's back to normal. "Normal." Well, as normal as it can be, with our surrogate --

Shawn D.: Let's not talk about that, okay?

Mimi: No problem, but we do still have things to work out.

Shawn D.: We will...another time.

Mimi: Baby...

Shawn D.: Hmm? What?

Mimi: Are you sure you're up for this?

Shawn D.: Am I up for it? Are you kidding me?

[Knock on door]

Mimi: No!

Shawn D.: Who the hell is that? Come on. Don't answer it.

Mimi: I'll get rid of them.

Shawn D.: Fine. Quickly.

Belle: Hey. Sorry to interrupt, but I need some help. Do you mind if we come in?

Mimi: We were...just enjoying some alone time. Honey, look who's here.

Max: Oh, man, I still don't even know what the hell just happened, but I really hope you don't believe that crap about Chelsea.

Philip: Why shouldn't I? You think Bo, her own father, made up some story about her fingerprints being all over that phony DNA report? You think he walked in here, stopped the press conference, dragged her off in front of all these people if he didn't have good reason?

Max: Number one -- her prints were probably on that report because she works in the file room of a hospital. And number two -- why would she even want Shawn to think that he's Claire's father? It doesn't make any sense.

Philip: Chelsea does a lot of things that don't make sense. Who hits someone in the middle of the night with their car and doesn't even get out to investigate and then tries to get it pinned on their own mother? Who goes out partying and drinking, getting their face splashed all over the tabloids when they're up on charges for killing their little brother?

Max: Look, I'm the first one to admit that she's made some big mistakes -- some really big mistakes -- but she's never intentionally tried to hurt anyone.

Philip: You need to wake up. The girl is bad news.

Max: She's your flesh and blood on both sides of your family.

Philip: And now she's put all her flesh and blood through hell, including me. This girl has messed with my family, and I'm gonna make sure they throw the book at her.

Chelsea: I can't believe that you're arresting your own daughter.

Bo: I'm not arresting you -- yet.

Chelsea: Bringing me in for questioning -- whatever. Dad, I told you that I didn't do this.

Bo: Then why were your fingerprints all over that file?

Chelsea: Because I work in the hospital records room.

Bo: This wasn't just any file. This one was completely fabricated. If it had been in Claire's file before, someone would have noticed it. And how did it get up to Shawn's hospital room?

Chelsea: I can't explain how it ended up --

Bo: There is only one explanation, and we both know what it is.

Chelsea: No.

Bo: But why, Chelsea? Why? Why do you do this to your brother? Do you hate him that much? Are you that resentful of my family with Hope?

Chelsea: I'm not.

Bo: I don't want to hear it. What I should do is just lock you up and throw away the key.

Frankie: Try and you'll have me to deal with.

Jack: [Exhales deeply] I don't know. What is it -- the smell of the newsprint or the toner? I just love the smell of a newsroom in the morning or the afternoon or the evening.. My desk.

Jennifer: Jack.

Jack: It's my desk. All my pencils -- they're still here -- still unar it's my light. Ow. It's still warm. My chair -- the old, comfy chair right here. Oh, yes. Ah. Yes. It feels good to be back.

Jennifer: It does feel good, doesnít it, Jack and you know what? You look good in your old chair.

Jack: I do.

Jennifer: It's almost as if no time has passed at all.

Jack: My thoughts exactly... although... I have no idea who this tan, blond man is hoisting his marlin.

Jennifer: Oh, that's a sea bass and Mary Sue's husband, Chip.

Jack: Mary Sue?

Jennifer: McManis. The replacement after you...

Jack: Bit it?

Jennifer: Died.

Jack: Right. Well, uh, I'm so sorry, Mary Sue. You're just gonna have to move over and you, too, Skip. [Thud]

Jennifer: Chip. His name's Chip.

Jack: Whatever. Because Jack is back and ready to work.

Jennifer: Jack, before --

Jack: I'll tell you something. Deep throat is in total agreement with me.. Otherwise, he wouldn't have given me such a great clue.

Jennifer: That's what I don't understand. This mystery man -- he calls you and has this clue for you. Then you show up at the warehouse, and he just bolts.

Jack: He didn't just bolt. He didn't bolt until you showed up.

Jennifer: That's right, but I was not gonna let you investigate this thing by yourself and get hurt. You still have not been given a clean bill of health.

Jack: All right. We'll work together, just like the old days, which reminds me -- let's get down to it, shall we? First of all, the clue.

Jennifer: Yes. Check. Photo of a gun.

Jack: Photo of a gun. I would assume this is the same gun that killed Officer Michaels. All I have to do is ascertain its make, find the owner, and then we've got our killer.

Jennifer: Or we could just take the photo to the police.

Jack: What? And miss an opportunity at a Pulitzer in investigative journalism? Are you out of your mind?

Jennifer: Wait. Who are you calling?

Jack: I'm calling Harold. He's the new editor -- right? -- Now that Vern's finally retired. H-h-hello? Harold -- Harold, turn down that music, you macho man. [Chuckles] It's Jack. Jack. Jack. Yes, that Jack. Yes, I know. I know. Look, well, suffice to say the reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. So fire up the presses because Jennifer and I are back, and we are ready to solve a mystery.

Like sands through the hourglass, so are the Days of our Lives.

Jennifer: You know, you would think that somewhere on the internet there would be something about that gun.

Jack: Well, Jennifer, you know, the internet's a useful tool -- it really is -- but sometimes the -- the old ways are the best ways. Yep, there it is. Found it.

Jennifer: What?

Jack: I found it -- the gun. It's right here -- right here in the book.

Jennifer: [Sighs] Oh. That's not the same gun.

Jack: It most certainly is. It has the same what-you-may-call-it.

Jennifer: No, no, no. The gun that you're looking at is different. Which this gun is definitely not.

Jack: Wait. It most definitely is. It has the same shape, the same size, the same color. They're both semiautomatics. I think that would make them the same gun.

Jennifer: You truly are the most stubborn man on the face of the earth.

Jack: That just so happened to marry the most stubborn woman on the face of the earth.

Jennifer: Me?

Jack: "Me?" Yes. You know, I remember the first time that you ever came into the newsroom. You came waltzing right past me, had to go see Diana Colville. Couldn't tell me what you wanted. But by the time I found out about it, I had to hire you on as an intern. And then it was, "Mr. Deveraux, please, can I sharpen your pencils? Can I please proof your copy? Can I please go to that third-rate journalism conference in Atlantic City?"

Jennifer: First of all, I didn't say it like that. Second of all, you asked me to go to that conference.

Jack: I did? Well, yes, I did. But you kept pressuring me until I had to hire you full-time.

Jennifer: Right, because you said I was the best intern you ever had, Jack.

Jack: Well, you were. But do you think I would let you write an ongoing piece about some fleabag, rundown horse unless I was madly in love with you from the moment that you walked into the newsroom?

Jennifer: That's why you hired me?

Jack: You never figured that out?

Jennifer: I thought it was because I was good.

Jack: Oh, you were good.

Jennifer: Well, I don't know if I should be flattered or insulted by that remark, Jack.

Jack: Well, at the moment, you were about to be engaged to Emilio, with a lionlike mane of hair, so it was kind of a hands-off situation, if you understand.

Jennifer: "Hands-off" meaning "safe."

Jack: Of course, you kept pressuring me to kiss you.

Jennifer: I kept pressuring you?

Jack: Yeah.

[Knock on door]

Jack: What is it, Sheldon?

Jennifer: Jack, we have to talk.

Jack: Jennifer, what are you doing in --

Jennifer: Sheldon let me in.

Jack: Well, Sheldon can let you back out again.

Jennifer: No.

Jack: Yes.

Jennifer: Not until we get something straight.

Jack: What?

Jennifer: Us.

Jack: Oh, please.

Jennifer: Forget it, Jack.

Jack: Jennifer, this is my house and my bedroom.

Jennifer: Exactly, so we won't be bothered.

Jack: I'm beginning to get a little bothered .

Jennifer: You can't joke about this, all right? We're gonna talk about how we feel about each other right now.

Jack: I thought you said you didn't want to joke.

Jennifer: Stop it. You know how I feel.

Jack: Oh, please, Jennifer.

Jennifer: Emilio wants me to make a commitment to him, but the only person I want to commit to you. You're the one I want.

Jack: Well, that's my cue to leave.

Jennifer: No. No. You are not going anywhere.

Jack: Oh, really? [Door locks] I-I --

Jennifer: Really.

Jack: And then you kept after me to --

Jennifer: To marry me. Yes. And if you weren't so stubborn, it wouldn't have taken so long. But you know what you just did? You turned this whole thing around so that you don't have to admit that you're wrong. You changed the subject. W I put up with you after all these years?

Jack: Because I'M...sexy as all get-out?

Jennifer: Yes, you are, Jack, but not right now.

Jack: Not right now? W-w-why not?

Jennifer: If you don't admit that you're wrong, I'm gonna walk out that door and I'm never gonna come back here.

Jack: Oh? Well, all right. I may have been slightly mistaken. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I was wrong -- wrong, wrong, totally wrong. You were right. I was wrong. You were right. The guns are completely different. There. Satisfied?

Jennifer: Yes. Now we can get back to work.

Bo: I don't like this any more than you do -- having to interrogate my own daughter. Bu she's responsible.

Frankie: We don't know that.

Chelsea: Dad, I'm not. I swear to you.

Bo: I'm glad you're here, Frankie. She's gonna need a good lawyer -- again.

Chelsea: Frankie, please, you have to help me. I didn't do this.

Frankie: Can I have a few minutes?

Bo: You got five.

Frankie: Thank you.

Bo: Yeah.

Frankie: We're alone. You want my help? Tell me the truth. What were your fingerprints doing on the DNA report found in Shawn's room? And don't tell me you had nothing to do with it, because I can see it's written all over your face that you did.

Chelsea: I'm not denying it. Yes, I put the file in Shawn's room. I admit to that. But I didn't do it for the reason everybody thinks I did.

Max: Bo, where's Chelsea? What the hell is going on?

Philip: She's under arrest, right?

Bo: She's in with her lawyer.

Philip: She's probably lying through her teeth. She thinks he's gonna get her out of this --

Bo: She has the right to an attorney.

Max: My brother is gonna get to the truth. He's gonna prove this is all a big mistake. She had nothing to do with this.

Philip: I'm gonna go make a phone call.

Bo: Max, I know you don't want to believe this is true. I would love to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I've done that too many times before. You trust her, you get kicked in the teeth.

Shawn D.: You're not interrupting. Don't worry about it.

Belle: Are you sure? I don't want to bother you.

Shawn D.: We were just hanging out. Actually in the middle of something.

Belle: I knew it.

Shawn D.: No, no. Nothing we can't continue later. So, what's going on? You look stressed out.

Belle: Well, Claire missed her nap today, and now she won't go down.

Mimi: I thought Philip was pretty good at getting her to go to sleep.

Belle: He is. Unfortunately, he's not home. He is at Max's press conference.

Shawn D.: So you brought her the next best thing. Come here, baby girl.

Belle: Hardly the next best thing. No one puts her to sleep like you do.

Shawn D.: Thanks a lot.

Belle: You know what I mean. You have a way with her.

Claire: [Babbling]

Shawn D.: Hey, what are you so upset about?

Mimi: I happen to find my husband very stimulating. He's been known to keep me up all night. Isn't that right, honey?

Shawn D.: Honey, Claire's listening. Come on. Hey. Hey. Hey, hey. Hey, baby girl, what is it? What are you giving your mom a hard time about, huh? You can't fall asleep. I know what that's like. You're all stressed out, huh? You have a big decision to make tomorrow -- what building blocks to play with or if you're gonna play with Mr. Giraffe.

Claire: [Babbling]

Shawn D.: Shh! Hey. Hey. I say you count sheep, but, unfortunately, you don't know how to count yet, so I guess that won't work, will it? Will it?

Belle: I told you, you were the best. [Telephone ringing]

Mimi: Whoops.

Belle: Aw, man.

Mimi: Honey, why donít you get that? I'll get her some juice and some warm milk.

Belle: Come here.

Shawn D.: I'm sorry.

Belle: That's all right.

Shawn D.: We were getting there. We were so close, Claire. Hello.

Philip: Hey, Shawn, it's me. Listen, I just want to let you know, in case you hadn't heard. The police brought in a suspect, and they think she's responsible for the bogus DNA test.

Shawn D.: No, I haven't heard. Is it anyone we know?

Philip: Uh, yeah. Actually, you know her like she's your sister, because it's Chelsea.

Jack: [Sighs] So much for the old-fashioned way. I hope you're having better luck in cyberspace.

Jennifer: No, I'm not.

Jack: We are getting nowhere fast.

Jennifer: I don't understand. If deep throat wanted to give you a clue, why this gun? And how else would he get a picture of this gun, Jack, unless --

Jack: He already had it in his possession.

Jennifer: What if he's the killer? What if this whole thing is a setup? What if it's a trap?

Jack: Oh, Jennifer, please. Relax. I've been out of commission for how long, and he went to all the trouble to contact me because he wanted the story told and told well, and that's what I'm gonna do, because -- my Ferraro award is on Mary Sue's desk.

Jennifer: Yes, it is.

Jack: You gave it to her?

Jennifer: Jack, after you died...the third time, I --

Jack: What? You got rid of everything that meant anything to me?

Jennifer: You didn't even think about it till right this minute, Jack. You didn't even realize it was gone.

Jack: I did, I did, I did. I thought about it, and I missed it. Not only that, I miss the Santa suit.

Jennifer: I gave that to the Horton Foundation. Uncle Mickey loves that suit.

Jack: I thought you we sentimental type.

Jennifer: I am. That's why I got rid of everything -- because every time I looked at that Santa suit, I thought of the day you proposed to me. Every time I looked at that award, I would just start crying, so I brought it here. This is where it belongs -- on a shelf, where everyone can look at it and be reminded of you, and they can all see how proud I am of you.

Jack: Well, thanks. Uh, thanks... although, uh, I mean, nobody can see my name on it. They're probably all gonna think it's Mary Sue's Ferraro award.

Jennifer: Well, not if they read her column, they wouldnít.

Jack: I wouldn't know. I only read the obits... looking for my name.

Jennifer: That is not funny.

Jack: Obits are pretty well-written these days.

Jennifer: Yeah, well, let's hope this little caper doesn't net you number 4.

Jack: At least it's already number 4.

Jennifer: Don't joke.

Jack: Sorry. I am...sorry.

Jennifer: We're wasting time.

Jack: Of course we are. That's what we do. That's how we work.

Jennifer: Yes, I remember. Look, if we donít get the make and model on that gun, we are gonna have a very hard time finding out who this killer is.

Jack: Especially if he got it on the black market.

Jennifer: Oh, my gosh. We'll never figure out who owns this gun. We are just hitting a giant dead end.

Jack: I cannot accept that. He gave us this clue for a reason. He said he had information on the killer of Officer Eve Michaels.

Jennifer: He also said this whole thing could get us killed.

Jack: Oh, he had to say that. He just didn't want me to rat him out.

Jennifer: We don't know who he is, Jack.

Jack: Nevertheless, I promised him he could trust me, and I'm not gonna let him down.

Jennifer: If this is the murder weapon, how is this photo gonna lead us to Eve's killer?

Jack: That's it.

Jennifer: What's it?

Jack: You are a genius.

Jennifer: I didn't say anything.

Jack: Then I'm a genius, but you're the one who helped me think it -- the way to get the goods on this gun.

Jennifer: How?

Jack: I'll explain on the way. We're gonna visit an old friend. We're gonna crack this case before the day is up.

Jennifer: Oh, Jack.

Jack: Going down.

Max: Look, I don't care what either of you think. Chelsea wouldn't do something like this. It's crazy.

Bo: You'd be surprised what she's capable of.

Philip: I wouldn't be.

Max: Whatever happened to "innocent until proven guilty"? Doesn't she deserve that much?

Shawn D.: Is it true -- Chelsea planted the DNA test?

Bo: Shawn, take it easy.

Shawn D.: Iím not gonna take it easy, and thanks for calling me, by the way. I had to find out from Philip.

Bo: I was gonna call you after I questioned her. You're still recovering.. I didn't want to get you worked up.

Shawn D.: I'm fine, and I had a right to know about this.

Philip: How are Belle and Mimi taking it?

Shawn D.: They don't know yet. I figured they'd try and talk me out of coming down here. I told them I was going out for some fresh air.

Bo: Why don't you just go home? Why don't you all go home? There's no reason for you to be here.

Shawn D.: Like hell there's not. She is the reason that our lives have been turned upside down. We have a right to confront her.

Philip: I'm not leaving. If she planted the file, that's bad enough. But if she's guilty of that, I believe she's responsible for the embryo switch, too. After what she's done to my family, Shawn's family, your family, Bo, I want to see her punished.

Shawn D.: That makes two of us.

Max: You know what? You and Philip are not Chelsea's judge and jury. That's what courts are for.

Philip: She'll get her day in court, okay? But understand this -- I'm not leaving here today until I look her in the eye and make her answer for what she did.

Shawn D.: I'm with you on that. Here's our chance.

Chelsea: What are you guys doing here?

Shawn D.: What do you think we're doing here? We want to make sure that you get what's coming to you and you go away for a very, very long time.

Jack: This way. This is it. It hasn't changed much.

Jennifer: A pawn shop?

Jack: Yeah.

Jennifer: [Coughs] Oh, my goodness. It stinks like bad cigars in here. [ Clanging]

Sal: Jack? Jack Deveraux? As I live and breathe. Is that you, or are these old eyes of mine playing tricks on me?

Jack: It's me, in the skin. How the heck are you?

Sal: I can't complain much. I thought you was dead again.

Jack: Uh, I-I wasn't, uh, again.

Jennifer: You two know each other?

Jack: Yes. We go way back.

Sal: I was good friends with Jack's daddy -- his real daddy, Duke -- back in the good old days.

Jennifer: Oh!

Sal: San Quentin.

Jennifer: Oh.

Jack: Jennifer, this is Salvatore Bandino. Sal, this is my wi-- uh, Jennifer Horton Brady -- Deveraux Brady.

Sal: You got yourself a real looker here, Jackie Boy, but, then again, you always did have an eye for the tomatoes, you old son of a gun.

Jack: Well, I wouldn't know anything about that, but definitely Jennifer is a tomato -- tomato.

Jennifer: Well, thank you. It's so nice to meet you Mr. Bandino.

Sal: Please -- Salvatore -- and the pleasure is all mine.

Jack: If we could just get down to why we're here.

Sal: Yeah, what can I do you for, kid?

Jennifer: Here, Jack.

Jack: I was hoping you could give us the make on this gun. It's really important.

Sal: Sure. But, uh, what's in it for me?

Jack: Oh, uh, plenty. In fact, I'm -- I'm prepared to... [As vito corleone] Make you an offer you can't refuse.

Belle: Kind of weird how Shawn suddenly needed to get air and took off.

Mimi: Well, he's still not really himself yet. Sometimes the medication makes him feel nauseated.

Belle: I hope he's okay.

Mimi: He's fine. I hope you can get Claire back to sleep.

Belle: Well, somehow I don't think that's gonna happen, not without Uncle Shawn. He's so good with her.

Mimi: Do you have to keep saying that?

Belle: Saying what?

Mimi: Going on and on about how great Shawn is with your daughter, especially after everything we just went through and after everything we're still going through.

Belle: I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. I guess it was insensitive.

Mimi: Yeah, it was, and so was barging in here just now with her. She's your kid. You get her to sleep.

Belle: You know that being a bad mother is my worst fear. Why would you say that?

Mimi: I didn't say you were a bad mother.

Belle: But that's what you're thinking.

Mimi: I'm thinking that you keep looking for excuses to shove her in Shawn's face every minute.

Belle: That's not what I am doing. You two are her Godparents. You say you love spending time with her. Mimi, you have no reason to feel insecure or jealous, because we know that Claire isn't Shawn's... unless you think maybe she really is.

Shawn D.: This time, Chelsea, no one can protect you because I am gonna make sure the courts find out exactly what you have done to my family and to my wife. If somehow you don't get what you deserve, I will serve justice myself.

Frankie: That's enough.

Shawn D.: What are you talking about? I'm just getting warmed up. Don't tell me you're gonna start defending her. Don't forget -- she is the reason that my brother is dead. You might have walked for that, but you are not gonna walk for this.

Chelsea: You don't understand.

Shawn D.: You are a liar!

Max: Back off.

Shawn D.: You have been a curse on this family ever since you walked into it, and you have made our lives a living hell.

Max: That's it.

Bo: Shawn.

Sal: I'd give my eye teeth to get my hands on one of these babies. They're about as rare as they come.

Jack: Really?

Sal: Yeah. They stopped making these a few years back.

Jennifer: Great. There goes that lead. We're never gonna find the owner of that gun.

Sal: Not so fast, blondie. Have no fear Bandino's here. I got little ways of finding things out.

Jack: Just as long as you don't feel it's necessary to share those ways with us.

Sal: What a character. Don't worry about it. I'll get back to you when I know something.

Jack: Oh, good. Whatever you can do, I can't tell you how much we'd appreciate it.

Sal: I'm sure you'll find the appropriate way of thanking me.

Jennifer: Jack, are you -- are you sure about this?

Jack: Not to worry.

Jennifer: When you say that I know that's the first thing I should start doing.

Jack: No, no, no. This time, I mean it. I promise. Don't worry. Sal's gonna come through for us. He really is. He's safe. Everything's Jake. He's gonna help us get our man -- woman, whatever. I promise I hope.

Chelsea: Max!

Bo: Take it easy. Not here.

Frankie: Back off!

Max: And I'm supposed to let you talk that way about Chelsea?

Shawn D.: She made a phony DNA report trying to convince everyone I was Claire's father. She switched the embryos.

Chelsea: I did not switch those embryos! I had nothing to do with that! And it was not a phony DNA report, and I did not falsify any records. I left that file for you, yes, but I left it for you the exact way that I found it.

Shawn D.: Are you trying to tell me my DNA matches Claire's?

Mimi: Of course I don't think Claire is Shawn's, unless there was some kind of immaculate conception.

Belle: Well, people have accused me of trying to be a saint...but I'm far from it.

Mimi: You're not a jerk, either, so you should stop acting like one.

Belle: A jerk?

Mimi: If your baby is tired, then rock her or sing her a lullaby or something, but stop coming to my husband for help.

Jack: No -- no, it wasnít. And this day just keeps on giving. My divorce. Nothing to stop it from happening now.

Jennifer: Ew. Sal certainly has an interesting assortment of things.

Jack: Hey, look at this. This is a beauty. I wonder how much sal would sell this for?

Jennifer: Why? You don't play the sax.

Jack: I've always wanted to take lessons. I can be another Charlie Parker or John Coltrane.

Jennifer: Yeah Tone-Deaf.

Jack: Right...again.

Jennifer: Look at this. [Gasps]

Jack: An underwood. [Grunts] Whoa. That is an underwood.

Jennifer: Oh, my goodness.

Jack: Vern had one of these when I first came to work at the

spectator. He said it always reminded him of the old days.

Jennifer: Can you imagine what it must have been like back then -- everyone banging out their stories on a typewriter like this, the phones ringing off the hook? It makes me think of "his girl Friday" with Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell.

Jack: They don't make 'em like that any more.

Jennifer: What, the movie or the typewriter?

Jack: Both.

[Typewriter keys clacking]

Jack: Right. Right. Right. Just get it to me lickety-split. Right. Listen up, Horton. That was Brady at the P.D. We got a breakout. There's a cop killer on the loose.

Jennifer: Not the one who plugged Michaels?

Jack: The same. Get Vern on the horn. Tell him to dump page one.

Jennifer: Talk about the president's speech?

Jack: Save it for the funny papers. Let's get cracking before someone else breaks the story.

Jennifer: Hey. What's the big idea?

Jack: What's that?

Jennifer: I'm every bit the reporter you are. You call Vern. I write the story.

Jack: Jennifer, Jennifer. Look, kid, you know I think you're aces, but this is big -- the biggest story to come out of this burg in months. It needs the Deveraux touch.

Jennifer: I'm a Deveraux.

Jack: A Horton Deveraux and a darn pretty one at that. I'll tell you what. You take the sidebar. You cover the captures and the breakouts.

Jennifer: Of all the conceited --

Jack: I'll let you proof my copy.

Jennifer: You proof this!

Jack: Aim's getting sloppy.

Sal: All right. Stick 'em up. Give me all your dough, or the little lady gets it. Don't try any funny business, see? I want it all in small, unmarked bills.

Jack: Listen, pal, I think there's been some mistake. This is a newspaper office, not a bank.

Sal: Huh? What, did they move the bank?

Jack: No, they haven't moved the bank.

Jennifer: No, it's right where it always was. Why don't you show him, Jack, on the map?

Jack: You want me to show him?

Jennifer: Yeah, on the city map. Show him.

Sal: Let's see it. Come on. On the double. I got to make tracks here.

Jack: Right. Right. Well, let's see. You go up five blocks, see? Go right up there. You stay to the right, and you can't miss it.

Sal: Oh, 54th street. Oh. I thought it was 45th. I'm in the wrong joint.

Jennifer: You sure are, buster!

Jack: You done good, dollface.

Jennifer: Do I get the story now?

Jack: It's all yours -- all wrapped up in a pink bow.

Jennifer: Why don't we put it to bed and get out of here?

Jack: Well, vice versa. [Typewriter keys clacking]

Jennifer: Listen to this. Listen. Wait.

Jack: There you go. [Ding]

Sal: You break it, sister, you bought it.

Jennifer: Oh, sorry.

Jack: What's the good word? Anything for us?

Sal: You know how this works. You got to pay the piper. Inside info don't come cheap.

Philip: What are you talking about? We already know there's no way Claire's DNA could match yours because you obviously never slept with Belle...which tells me that the file was fake. It was doctored, and the only person who could have done it was you.

Max: Chelsea couldn't have been the only one that touched that file. There had to be other prints on there.

Bo: No, Max. Shawn, Philip, Belle, Lexie -- their prints were on the folder. But the document inside -- only Chelsea's. That's why I brought her in.

Max: Oh, my God. You did do it, didn't you?

Jack: I-I guess this, uh, should about cover it.

Sal: What a -- what a sense of humor on this guy.

Jack: All right. Okay. I'm sure a few dollars -- I'm sure it's gonna be worth it.

Sal: Have I ever let you down?

Jack: No. No. I-I guess not.

Sal: You know, I think this ought to do you?

Jack: [Groans]

Jennifer: All right, sal. What do you have for us?

Sal: I have something that's gonna make you very happy. It wasn't easy, but through a special contact of mine who shall remain nameless, I was able to get a list of a few of the owners.

Jack: A few?! Wait a minute. There's got to be at least 50 names on this..

Jennifer: Can you narrow it down who the gun is registered to right now?

Sal: That's as good as it's gonna get. If I was the two of you, I'd advise you to close your yaps and start looking at this list of names and see if anything there rings a ll Caprice?

Jack: Caprice.

Jennifer: What's that?

Jack: It's not on here.

Chelsea: Max, not you, too. Please don't take their side.

Max: What am I supposed to do? Could you give me one good reason why I shouldn't?

Chelsea: Yeah. How about this for a reason? I was trying to do something good for a change.

Shawn D.: This is what you consider "something good." Are you crazy?

Philip: Do you realize what this has done to our families? How is that doing something good? Explain that to me.

Chelsea: I told you -- I didn't know that the DNA report was fake. I was doing filing, and I came across it, and I was shocked when I saw what it said. Why wouldn't I think it was real? And then I heard that you were in the hospital and that you might die. And I know that you hate me and you have every reason in the world to, but you are still my brother. I thought if I could do something to help you somehow, then maybe in some way it would make up for what I did to Zack.

Shawn D.: Are you kidding me?

Chelsea: I thought that if you knew that Claire was your child, it would give you something to live for and something to fight for, because I know that you still love Belle. Don't deny it, Shawn. We all know. You love her and always will.

Mimi: I'm sorry that came out so harsh. I love Claire... and I-I know that she and Shawn have a special bond. But please try and understand that we are really trying to make our marriage work, and I'm not stupid. I realize, especially in light of what's going on -- the fact that you're pregnant with his baby and you two were once in love -- that it's gonna be just a little bit harder for him than it is for me. So I'm asking you, as the person I still consider my best friend, to please give us every chance and not make it any more difficult than it already is.

Belle: Mimi, I am not trying to make it difficult.

Mimi: That's exactly what you do, Belle, when you barge in here acting like the three of you are a little, happy family. And you will be a family in just a few more months.

Belle: No, we wonít. My family is with Philip.

Mimi: Maybe I'm being neurotic and insecure, but this is how I feel. I can't help it. If it's this way now with Claire, what's it gonna be like when your baby gets here -- the baby you're having together?

Belle: You're right, Mimi. I haven't been the most sensitive person, and I'm sorry. I really am.

Mimi: Well, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that you're intentionally trying to do anything, and don't think that you and Claire aren't welcome here, 'cause you are.

Belle: Maybe we could call first before we barge in.

Mimi: That would be a start, yeah.

Belle: I will do my best from now on. I promise.

Mimi: Thank you for understanding.

Belle: Mimi, you and Shawn are my very best friends. I would never want to do anything to hurt you.

Mimi: I would never want to hurt you.

Frankie: Okay. Interrogation session is over. No more questions. She's not answering anything else, especially to you two.

Philip: That's fine. I'll just read the rest of her lies in her deposition. Because after she's found guilty in criminal court, I will be taking her to civil court, as well. So you got that to look forward to.

Shawn D.: And do me a favor.

Chelsea: What?

Shawn D.: Don't ever call me "brother"... because you are nothing to me.

Bo: I need to take your statement.

Chelsea: Okay. Can I talk to Max alone first, please?

Frankie: It shouldn't be a problem. She was only brought in for questioning, right?

Bo: You can use the office.

Frankie: Okay?

Chelsea: Thank you. You have to believe me. I did not do this.

Max: How many times have I heard that? And how many times have I believed you when every single time you make me sorry?

Chelsea: I'm sorry. I know that I've done a lot of things and lied a lot in the past, but I swear to you this time I am telling the truth. Please. You're the only person that's ever stood by me, the only person I've ever been able to count on. Please.

Max: Well, I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry, Chelsea. It's over. I've had enough.

Jack: Well, I guess, uh, I guess we have our work cut out for us.

Jennifer: Yeah.

Jack: I mean, there's a lot of names on here, and the chance that one of them is gonna mean anything is probably pretty slim.

Jennifer: Oh, my gosh.

Jack: What?

Jennifer: Jack, look at this.

Jack: Oh, my gosh. Well, that's got to be our killer.

Jennifer: No. No, it can't be.

Jack: It's got to be... which means that this town is in for the shock of its life.

Jack: Wait!

Jennifer: Jack! No!

Billie: He is so angry with her.

Chelsea: What if Shawn really is Claire's father?

Bo: One way to find out.

Shawn D.: There's no possible way I could be Claire's father.

Mimi: He's gonna take that DNA test, his DNA's gonna match, and then he's gonna know the truth. Where's that gonna leave me?

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