Jack: Uh -- why did you want me over here so quickly? You sounded excited on the phone.
Greta: I am!
Jack: What's with the thumping, migraine-inducing tribal beat?
Greta: It's club music, Jack. It's a little something to set the mood.
Jack: For what? A disco ball to drop on my head?
Greta: All right, ready or not, here I come!
Greta: Strike a pose.
Jack: Strike a match.
Greta: You like?
Jack: Um -- it, uh, wha -- it works for me.
Greta: If I didn't know any better, Jack, I would think you were straight.
Jack: As I recall, I proposed to you three times before actually getting you to the altar once. You'd think with all that proposing going on, I would have gotten this right, but I -- I -- please just allow me to finish the job. Jennifer, in our best tradition of reproposing, say you'll remarry me.
Jack: Are you saying that you don't believe that I would marry Greta?
Jennifer: No. I'm saying that your proposal seems so meaningless now since you can just turn around and marry someone else so quickly, Jack.
Jack: Ok. Ok. I'm not going to marry Greta in Vegas. I'm -- Iím not.
Jennifer: What? Oh, I'm shocked. Don't tell me you were lying.
Jack: I am trying to tell you I think it's time for my relationship with Greta to progress because obviously my relationship with you is going nowhere.
Jennifer: Oh! Hey, what are you doing?
Brandon: Flirting with you.
Colin: Your son's going to be fine, Mrs. Thompson. The question is are you?
Woman: I guess I overreacted.
Colin: No, no, no. You did the right thing. Strep throat can be very dangerous. Have this prescription filled. He should feel better in a day or two.
Woman: Thank you so much, Doctor.
Colin: You're welcome.
Jan: Excuse me. Dr. Murphy?
Colin: That would be me.
Jan: Can I speak to you for a second? It's kind of an emergency.
Belle: I am so proud of you, Shawn. Mrs. Horton's face lit up like a Christmas tree when she saw her ruby.
Shawn: I know. It's like she got a little piece of Grandpa Tom back with her again.
Belle: Thanks to you.
Shawn: Well, you, too. I mean, if it wasn't for your quick thinking, we might not have gotten that ruby away from Paul.
Belle: I don't ever want to think about that horrible man ever again. I'm just glad we're home and Philipís going to be ok.
Shawn: Yeah, me, too. You know, we still have to go out on that second date of ours.
Belle: Like I would let you forget?
Shawn: Oh, not possible.
Mimi: Here you are! I've been looking all over for you. What are you trying to do? Scare me half to death?
[Rock hits window]
Philip: Oh, great. She's there.
Brady: Philip, what are you doing here?
Philip: That's what I'm asking you, man. What the Hell are you doing in my girlfriend's bedroom?
Brady: That's a good question. Where's Chloe?
Philip: What? Is she up there with you or not?
Chloe: No, Philip. I'm right here.
Philip: Chloe, hey.
Chloe: What are you doing?
Philip: Just saying hello.
Chloe: Well, donít.
Nancy: Brady, we think you should come on downstairs. Um, your tea's getting cold.
Brady: Chloe's back, Mrs. Wesley. She's out front.
Craig: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't go down there loaded for bear? What?
Brady: Yeah, I don't think you two want to go down there right now.
Craig: Why is that?
Brady: She's with Philip.
Nancy: No. That's where I draw the line.
Craig: Nancy, Nancy, maybe -- maybe Brady has a point.
Brady: Yeah, trust me. You do not want to interrupt those two right now.
Chloe: Philip, what are you doing here with your guitar?
Philip: I was going to serenade you, and when I threw pebbles up at your window, I saw Brady was up there. You better tell me the truth, Chloe. What the hell is going on with you two?
Mimi: Why did you guys just take off like that? I mean, one minute you're having a good time at the pub, and then the next minute I look up and you're just leaving.
Belle: Meems, we went to go see Shawnís great-grandmother. What's the big deal?
Mimi: What's the big deal? I thought you could have been dead on that island, Belle. Brady and Chloe and I raced out in the middle of a hurricane, and every time I fell off that stupid wave runner, my heart pounded so hard, and it wasn't like I was scared for myself. I was worried we wouldn't get to you in time. I felt like we were in some horror flick. When we found you, I was so relieved, and then they throw us this great party to welcome you home, and you just up and disappear and I can't find you anywhere. Why don't you scare me half to death.
Shawn: Chill, Mimi, all right? You're our friend, not our mother, all right?
Mimi: I will not chill! You two are my best friends in the whole world, and if anything ever happened to you, I don't know what I would do with myself. And I hate to be a pest, but it's important to me that you guys know how much I love you.
Bell: Oh, Meems. We love you, too.
Jan: Look, I don't have much time. I snuck out while my mom went to go get her nails done, but the deal is Iím 17, but I don't want my parents to know I'm here. I do have a problem, though. Could this be kept confidential?
Colin: That depends. If a crime's been committed, Iíd be bound by law to inform the authorities, and because you're a minor, they'd have to tell your parents.
Paul: Sell it. Pretend you're naked. Ok. You're free. You love showing that gorgeous body of yours to the world.
Jan: But it's all happening in my eyes?
Paul: Right. On camera, but off, you're into it, ok? You love it. You arch your back, you lift your breasts, you got to have it. That's it. Beautiful. Beautiful.
Jan: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?
Paul: I'm just helping you get into it. That's all.
Paul: Come on. Relax. You're doing fine, baby.
Jan: No. No. No. I said no. I said no. Stop it!
Paul: Hey relax. It's too late for that. The cameras are rolling.
Paul: The cameras -- might as well enjoy it.
Paul: Keep screaming and Iíll have to kill you, all right?
Paul: Shut up!
Jan: No. There wasn't any crime.
Colin: Then tell me what has you so upset?
Jan: I'm scared, Dr. Murphy. I -- I really need your help. I -- well -- it's kind of a sexual problem.
Colin: Sexual? You mean, do you think you're pregnant?
Jan: No. No. It's not that. It's worse. It's much worse.
Jan: I -- I just got back from Puerto Rico. It's really embarrassing, but I -- I got gonorrhea while I was there.
Colin: Are you positive? Have you seen a physician?
Jan: Yeah. He gave me a shot and some pills to clear it up, but I'm afraid maybe it didn't, and what if I was exposed to something else, something worse, something that never goes away?
Colin: Well, that I can't determine till Iíve examined you and done a blood workup.
Jan: Do I have to give you my name? I'd just die if anyone found out about this.
Colin: Right now my only concern is you; so for the time being, let's just leave everyone else out of this. Come with me. Hey, don't worry. You'll be all right. We'll take good care of you. Come on.
Greta: Hello. Jack? Yoo-hoo?
Jack: Ah, uh, it's, um -- neat. Neat.
Greta: Neat? Salem's very own dancing tongue, and that's the very best you can do? I do believe I have rendered you speechless, Jack. You know, that's quite a reaction coming from a -- a gay man.
Jack: You really do look amazing, Princess. How come you dress never like that before?
Greta: Say what?
Jack: You know what I mean.
Greta: Well, I've never been asked to go to Vegas and hobnob with a bunch of dirty dogs with lap dancing libidos. That is what you told me to expect, right?
Jack: Well, they're hardly dirty dogs, merely top male executives with very healthy sex drives. And from what I can see, we -- we are going to wow them. We are gonna be the top couple of the year. Who knows? Maybe even the future Mr. And Mrs. Jack Deveraux.
Brandon: Now, according to the latest study in the New England Journal of Medicine, flirting is most effective when both parties are seated.
Jennifer: Oh, well, where are my manners? Please pull up a chair. You know, being with a single macho guy could do wonders for my reputation.
Brandon: A girl with a rep. I'm intrigued.
Jennifer: Don't be. It's the wrong kind. So, come on, flirt away, handsome. I have at least until Thanksgiving.
Brandon: Oh, hell, go for broke. Let's give it till Valentineís Day.
Jennifer: Oh, you're very smooth. Why am I not surprised?
Brandon: You can't blame a guy for trying.
Jennifer: Are you kidding? You have just made my day absolutely wonderful. What about you? You seem pretty chipper today.
Brandon: I got some good news today.
Jennifer: That's great. What news? I mean, if you don't mind me asking?
Brandon: Well, to the rest of the world, it might not seem like good news, so it's probably best if I keep it to myself. But getting back to you -- what brings the beautiful Jennifer Horton here today?
Jennifer: Well, I actually came to visit my grandma. This is usually her day to volunteer. Of course, when I got here, I forgot she's home with a cold.
Brandon: She's a nice lady. I hope she's ok.
Jennifer: Oh, yeah, she's fine. I talked to her on the phone, and I'm gonna stop by there on my way home. Knowing my grandma, she's probably up and about whipping up a batch of her famous doughnuts.
Brandon: Don't take this the wrong way, Jennifer, but I Hope visiting your grandmother and having her doughnuts isn't the high point of your social life.
Jennifer: My grandmother, I'll have you know, is great company.
Brandon: Oh, I'm sure she is, but I was just wondering if... Never mind.
Jennifer: What? What? What were you wondering?
Brandon: Well, how is your love life?
Jennifer: Well -- why do you want to know about my love life?
Brandon: Well, I was just thinking that a beautiful woman like you deserves an equally beautiful love life.
Jennifer: Well, that means that I would have to find a single, sexy, available guy, now wouldn't I?
Brandon: Ahem. You were saying?
Colin: Would you feel more comfortable with a female doctor?
Jan: No. It's fine. I've had male doctors my whole life. I just want to get this over with and find out if Iím ok or not.
Brenda: Doctor, I wasn't able to locate the patient's charts.
Colin: I know it's against protocol, but this young woman is a family friend. I've already taken care of the paperwork.
Brenda: Are you sure about this, doctor?
Colin: Quite, and in the future, I'd appreciate you not questioning my judgment.
Brenda: Yes, of course.
Colin: Nurse Brenda is here to assist us. Shall we get started?
Mimi: I'm sorry. After all you've been through, the last thing you need is me wigging out on you.
Belle: Meems, it's ok. After all that we've been through, maybe it's good to be emotional.
Shawn: Or it's good to have a healthy, frosty Dotcom shake.
Mimi: No guava? No coconut milk? Not one natural juice indigenous to Puerto Rico?
Shawn: Not a one. This here shake is, I think, as processed as it gets.
Mimi: I am home. I am finally home. Mmm.
Shawn: You know, Mimi, it's -- it's good to see you breathing again. You know, it's only natural to be upset.
Mimi: Why is that?
Shawn: Well, you know, after everything you've been through, it's finally catching up with you. It is for all of us. It's like, um, probably going through a high-speed car wreck. You know, you come out of it in such a daze, you just want to make sure your arms and legs are still attached.
Belle: It's a miracle any of us survived. Talk about answered prayers. I bet our families had the big guy upstairs working overtime. I seriously don't think any of us would have made it if it wasn't for him -- and, of course, you, Meems.
Mimi: I'm so verklempt. Such company I am in.
Belle: I am serious, Mimi. I am so grateful to you, Brady, and Chloe for rescuing us. I thought I'd never see my mom, Dad, or brother ever again.
Craig: Nancy, just calm down.
Nancy: I am going out there and giving her a piece of my mind.
Brady: Mrs. Wesley, listen to me. I know you're upset, but let me go outside and take care of things. I'll see what's going on. All right?
Craig: Good idea.
Chloe: My God, you have not learned your lesson after all this time. You had the same accusatory look on your face when you saw that naked picture of me at the dance.
Philip: Wait. Wait. Wait. Just let me explain, ok?
Chloe: What is there to explain? You thought I was up in my bedroom with Brady. God knows what you thought we were doing!
Philip: That's not what I meant at all.
Chloe: That's exactly what you meant! You don't trust me.
Philip: You don't understand. He --
Chloe: No, I donít.
Philip: Look. I know the two of you got close while I was away. Hell, when I called you, you were out bowling with him.
Chloe: Uh, news flash, Philip. I may bowl with a lot of guys this year, and it's none of your business. You have nothing to say about it.
Philip: You know, I don't get you, Chloe. You came to see me in the hospital. I could tell by the look in your eyes that you still care about me.
Chloe: Of course I care about you, Philip, but now that you're ok and we're back in Salem, I just think that we should go our separate ways -- as in live separate lives. Are you getting my message here, Philip? You are no longer my boyfriend.
Greta: Now, Jack, who said anything about marriage?
Jack: Uh, what I meant was --
Greta: Relax, Jack. I'm just teasing you. I know what you meant. But we could pretend to get married. You know, we could -- we could present any scenario we want to these head honchos. That's what's gonna make this such a blast. Come on. We could, uh, let's see. We could pretend to be the future Mr. and Mrs. Jack Deveraux.
Jack: Oh. Ha ha ha!
Greta: With years and years of marital bliss. Or -- or we could, uh -- we could pretend to be just lovers, you know, footloose and fancy-free. Ha ha ha! Can't get enough of each other's gorgeous bods. Which do you prefer?
Jack: I think we should just, uh, play it by ear, don't you?
Greta: Oh, yes, absolutely. Isn't that this millennium's mantra -- "in the moment"? Ha ha ha! Oh, Jack, your hair. It's so soft.
Greta: Ha ha ha!
Jack: Ha ha ha!
Greta: Ooh! And this little peach fuzz down the nape of your neck. Ok, Jack. All right.
Greta: Let's -- let's work the moment. Ok? This is just rehearsal. Pretty soon it's gonna be the real thing, and if we don't rehearse, we're gonna blow the whole deal in Vegas.
Jack: Princess, it's a little bit like riding a bicycle. One does not forget these things.
Greta: Hey, are your ears sensitive?
Jack: Huh? Oh, please. Oh, ok. Cut it out. Oh, whoa! Ah! Oh! Oh, I'm sorry. I am so sorry. Are you ok?
Greta: Yeah. Yeah. No. I'm fine. I'm fine. I am fine.
Jack: It's just -- Iím -- it's just -- it's been a long time, you know.
Greta: A long time?
Jack: Since -- since Iíve had a girl all over me like that. It's -- I must admit, it, uh, it makes me crazy.
Greta: Oh, my God, Jack. Oh, my God. Are you saying what I think you're saying? Have I cured you, Jack?
Jack: Uh... What -- what are you implying, Princess?
Greta: I'm just pulling your leg. You don't have a condition that needs to be cured, Jack. You are who you are, and you're gonna be that way for the rest of your life, and I think that is great. There is nothing wrong with who you are.
Jack: No. No, except I need to get Jennifer back.
Greta: I heard that, Jack.
Jennifer: You are a shameless flirt, aren't you?
Brandon: I'm not into games. I put it out there that I'm free and single, and every so often, I manage to hook up with a gorgeous blue-eyed blonde.
Jennifer: So you're into blondes, huh?
Brandon: Yeah. I mean, lately it seems to be the case, but, uh, actually, I'm just into interesting women -- smart and funny and charming.
Jennifer: You know what? I'm gonna get us some more coffee.
Brandon: I'll get it.
Jennifer: No, that's all right. I'll get it. Ow! Oh!
Brandon: Are you all right?
Jennifer: No. I just hit my knee really hard.
Brandon: Which one?
Jennifer: This one right here. Oh, my goodness.
Brandon: There. Is that better?
Jennifer: Yeah. Yeah, much. Thank you.
Brandon: I'll get our coffee.
Jennifer: Oh, ok. Here you go.
Jennifer: Oh. Ow. I feel so stupid. I mean, how many times have you heard me tell Abby, "watch where you're running, watch where you're going"? Ouch!
Colin: Where did you hurt yourself?
Jennifer: Just under my knee right here.
Colin: Let's take a look.
Jennifer: It's probably just a scratch.
Colin: Ooh. That's gonna need maybe six, eight stitches.
Colin: Just a bit of doctor humor.
Jennifer: Oh! Ha ha ha!
Colin: That's quite a gash. I don't want it to get infected. Now, this may sting a bit.
Colin: How does that feel?
Jennifer: It's good. You have a very gentle touch. It helps so much, really.
Colin: I only wish I could mend your broken heart.
Colin: Good news. I've got your test results. No sign of any other infection.
Jan: Thank God.
Colin: Of course, I do recommend you have an HIV test in six months.
Colin: It's important.
Jan: Oh, I know, but I just can't think about that right now, ok? I know you're busy, so I don't want to take up any more of your time. Thanks.
Colin: Wait. We're not finished.
Jan: What? You promised you wouldn't tell anyone, Dr. Murphy. Please. No one can find out about this.
Philip: What are you saying, Chloe? Why can't I be your boyfriend anymore?
Chloe: I'm not going to answer that. You and I both know why.
Philip: Hey, you just can't walk away from me like this.
Brady: Get your hands off her.
Philip: Who are you, Sir Galahad? You know, this is all your fault, Brady. You've been after her since day one, pretending like you didn't like her because she's just a teenager, but I saw the way you looked at her.
Brady: Chloe, you want to go inside?
Philip: Don't listen to him. He's just trying to poison your mind against me.
Chloe: There is nothing anyone can say, including Brady, that could poison me any more than you already did at that dance. When I needed you most, you showed me how little you trust me. You called me a weirdo, a freak, Ghoul Girl -- I will never forget any of that. Never!
Philip: Ok. Fine. I don't need a house to fall on me. Congratulations, Brady, you won. She's all yours.
Mimi: You guys are the best friends anyone could ever have. I really screwed up when I helped Jan put those naked pictures of Chloe on the web. I mean, it would have been real easy for you to turn your backs on me, but you didnít.
Belle: Mimi, you and I go back to kindergarten, ok? I know what you're made of. I know who you are.
Mimi: I never should have trusted Jan. She's evil.
Shawn: Has anyone heard from her since we got back?
Mimi: No. Thank God. But I did hear through the grapevine that her charming mother dragged her home from the airport by her hair. Anyway, she's dropped out of sight. That's all I know. She won't even see Jason.
Shawn: I hope she's ok.
Mimi: Shawn, will you finally let us in on this mystery? What is this thing with you and Jan?
Jan: You can't back out of your promise now. You said you wouldn't tell anyone.
Collin: True. I did. But during the examination, I noticed some bruising.
Jan: What do you mean?
Collin: It looks as though someone forced themselves on you. Is that what happened? Were you sexually assaulted?
Jan: Look, there was no crime. I already told you that. I just don't want to think about it anymore, ok?!
Collin: No. It's not ok. Look, I can see how frightened you are. You're trembling. Won't you please tell me what happened to you?
Nancy: What is she doing out there?
Craig: Ok, Nancy, just relax, all right? I'm sure Brady has everything under control.
Chloe: This may come as a shock to you, Philip, but I'm not yours to give to anyone. I don't belong to you, and I certainly don't belong to Brady.
Chloe: No. I want to be alone.
Philip: You son of a --
Brady: Philip, you haven't even fully recovered yet, all right, so listen to me. I suggest before you say or do anything you're gonna regret, you go home and go to bed, where you belong.
Philip: How can you do this to me, man? Moving in on her like that.
Brady: I didn't do anything, Philip. You did this to yourself. And I am not trying to move in on your girlfriend. As far as I can see, she's flying solo. Now, get out of here.
Greta: I heard what you said, Jack. And I'm gonna have to level with you.
Jack: That sounds a little scary.
Greta: You need to get over this obsession with Jennifer. A sexually fulfilling relationship, it just -- it isn't in the stars for the two of you. I mean, Jennifer is straight, and you're gay, and never the twain shall meet. You need to -- well, you need to look towards the future. And going to Vegas and getting this job, it's the step in the right direction, Jack.
Greta: So, come on! Let's get with the program. It's gonna be fun. And just think. We can be as naughty as we like.
Jack: Oh! Oh! Oh, no, sorry, sorry. Ticklish around the midsection. Sorry.
Greta: Jack, Jack.
Jack: Oh, yes.
Greta: If you're gonna be this awkward, we are left with no alternative but to resort to some -- well, some sense memory work.
Jack: Sense memory.
Greta: Yes, Jack. Practice.
Jack: Practice, as in, uh -- you mean in there... In the bedroom?
Collin: You put up a brave front, Jennifer, but I can see how unhappy you are.
Jennifer: I don't know what I would do if you weren't here.
Collin: Well, that should take care of any infection. I'll just get a bandage.
Jennifer: I'm sorry. How long have you been standing there?
Jennifer: Oh, come on.
Jennifer: Thank you. Mm. Thank you. Ooh, that's good. This is so much better than the coffee that I just had.
Brandon: Oh, well, I made a fresh pot. And then I held your cup under to get that first perfect spurt of java. And then I shoved the pot back under real quick. It's a neat little trick. You should try it sometime.
Jennifer: You -- you did that for me?
Brandon: Oh, come on, now, Jennifer, I'm sure lots of guys do special favors for you.
Jennifer: Oh, why do you think that?
Brandon: Well, you're the kind of woman that guys want to take care of, protect. You think that's sexist?
Jennifer: No. No, not at all. I think it's very sweet. Why do you think that I need to be protected?
Collin: If someone forced themselves on you, they should be caught and charged with sexual assault.
Jan: Just don't worry about it, ok?
Paul's voice: Hey, what are you doing?
Jan: Nothing. Please don't hurt me again.
Paul: Me hurt you? Don't be afraid, sweetcakes. You know how much I dig you. I took care of you good, didn't I? Something's up with you. What? What is it?
Jan: Nothing. I just want to get out of here.
Paul: Yeah, so do I. Hey, hero, kneel down slowly.
Brady: Don't do it, Dad.
Paul: You shut up! Let's go, tough guy. Kneel down and give me that bag. Let's go.
Paul: Good boy. That's it, good boy. See what a good boy your friend is? Look at that.
John: Jan, no!
Paul: Don't do it, baby.
Paul: You bitch!
Jan: He'll never touch me again.
Collin: Well, he might go after someone else.
Jan: That's not gonna happen either. Trust me.
Collin: Well, at the very least, you should have a pregnancy test.
Jan: I'm not pregnant. I already told you that. Look, no more questions, ok? Haven't I been through enough?
Collin: Yes. I believe you have, which is why I think it would be best if I called your parents.
Jan: No. You promised you wouldn't do that. Look, you don't know my mother, ok? She's mad enough at me already.
Collin: You were a victim.
Jan: That's not the way she'd see it. I got to get out of here. Just forget you ever saw me.
Collin: If you'd just hold on...
Jan: I can't go home like this. I got to find Shawn. He's the only one I can trust.
Shawn: Look, Mimi, there's nothing going on between Jan and me, all right? I'm just worried about her.
Mimi: I don't buy it.
Shawn: You don't -- you don't buy what? I'm just trying to help her through a rough time.
Mimi: There is something else going on here, and it's time you told the truth. What really happened between you and Jan on that island?
Jennifer: Well, why do you think I need to be protected?
Brandon: I don't know. I just get the feeling that you're going through a rough time. As a therapist, I'm trained to sense stuff like that.
Jennifer: Oh, well, I wasn't aware that we were in session.
Brandon: Oh, I didn't mean it like that. I really didnít. It's just when I flirted with you, I didn't get the usual response. I mean, with most women, it's either "get lost" or "yeah, I'm interested." But with you, I don't know what I'm getting.
Jennifer: Well, you know what? I think that you're wrong. I don't need a man to protect me. No man ever has, and I am certainly not gonna start relying on one now.
Brandon: Jennifer, will you go out with me again?
Jack: You and I -- beddy-bye?
Greta: No, Jack. I just, well, I want to get out of these clothes so we can practice being lovers.
Jack: So, you do mean -- in bed.
Greta: No, silly.
Jack: Well, I'm confused. Granted, that's easy to do. But I'm sorry. What -- what do you mean?
Greta: Jack, ahem, you and I have never been on a date. Would you like to go out on a date with me?
Craig: I'll get the bags, Chloe.
Nancy: Sweetheart --
Chloe: Don't start, Nancy. I don't want to talk about it right now.
Nancy: It's ok. Don't worry. I'll be here for you when you're ready, sweetheart.
Craig: Well, we certainly have our work cut out for us, don't we? Even though it's not gonna be easy, she's home. And that's what's important, hmm?
Philip: Damn him. He's not gonna get away with this.
Brady: Hey, Chloe. Do you remember that hot set of wheels that you helped me pick out this past summer? How would you like to go for a little spin?