Days of Our Lives Transcript Monday 8/20/01



Days of Our Lives Transcript Monday 8/20/01--Canada; Tuesday 8/21/01--USA

Provided By Stephanie
Proofread By Niki

Jack: I got a lead on a job. I'll tell you about it over dinner.

Greta: You want to take me out?

Jack: Yes. Why wouldn't I?

Jennifer: Oh, because you have to pick up Abby from day camp.

Jack: Jennifer, what are you doing here?

Jennifer: Well, seeing as, you know, you're shopping with Greta now, and she's befriending our child and possibly sleeping at our house --

Jack: That was a chance head nod.

Jennifer: Well, we're getting chummy, just like you asked.

Jack: Just like I asked? That's a first. And chummy? Is that an expression we picked up in Ireland?

Greta: Jack.

Jennifer: And what is this about a job -- that you were gonna tell Greta before you told me? What's the big secret, Jack?

Caroline: If you feel like having coffee, the java cafe has a really good espresso, all kinds of blintzes -- whatever you say, we'll do it. Ok?

Colin: I'll let you two go inside.

Elizabeth: Honey, do you really think so little of my sense of fashion?

Caroline: Oh, I must say, I'm thrilled that I'm not the only one who doesn't get the appeal of that.

Colin: See -- a tasteful person in Salem.

Elizabeth: But you must get the appeal somewhere. Maybe you can explain it to me. What on God's otherwise green earth would possess a person to live in this town?

Ms. Perez: Ok, kids. So, tomorrow night, we'll go back to that blah-looking Mangrove Bay and see it glow, courtesy of bioluminescence.

Penelope: Bio --

Kevin: You know, when the dinoflagellates respond to motion and boom -- the water's juiced with 600 volts.

Penelope: Oh, cool.

Jason: At least one of us knows the only cool way to be juiced.

Belle: Aah! Oh, my --

Greta: Jack and I have been job hunting together, so please don't be upset. I'm sure he just wanted to share the good news with me.

Jennifer: Oh, well, will I think it's good news?

Jack: We're talking about my job, Jennifer. Have you not been haranguing me about finding employment?

Jennifer: Greta, I have never harangued.

Jack: This -- this guy who called me -- you'd love him. In fact, he'd love you. Maybe --

Jennifer: Wait a minute. No. Greta, don't let Jack get you mixed up in this, please.

Greta: I appreciate you worrying about my well-being, Jennifer, but we haven't even heard what Jack has to say yet.

Jennifer: It's Oliver. It's Oliver, isn't it? I mean, who else would call you, Jack? Greta, you would not like Oliver.

Jack: Is she my friend or your friend? He's dashing, he's daring, loves blood sports -- a regular Princess magnet.

Greta: Ok.

Jack: Really -- an all-around good guy. Think Teddy Roosevelt -- minus about a hundred pounds.

Greta: Well, how'd you get to know him?

Jennifer: Oh, yes, Jack, do tell Greta how you and Oliver became such great chums.

Caroline: Salem may not be as provincial as you might think. We had the, uh, ballet on tour from Russia, and we have rock and roll groups pretty regularly. What do you enjoy?

Colin: How about on the shopping front, Aunt Caroline?

Caroline: Oh. Well, assuming that you don't want to look like Britney Spears...

Elizabeth: Thank you.

Caroline: You must have heard of Baron's in your travels.

Elizabeth: Boxy department store, yes.

Caroline: Well, it's tucked around the corner there, and --

Elizabeth: Don't tell me you shop there.

Caroline: Oh, no, but I certainly don't mind taking a peek inside. Do you know Countess Wilhelmina Cosmetics?

Elizabeth: I'm wearing them.

Caroline: All right. Well, where do you think they got their start?

Elizabeth: No.

Caroline: Colin, do you mind if I steal her for a minute?

Colin: So long as you bring her back. Have fun, ladies.

Caroline: Thank you. Let's go.

Mr. Woods: What's the matter?

Belle: I don't know. I just felt something on my hand, and --

Kevin: Did something bite you? Let me look. Does it hurt?

Belle: No, but...

Kevin: Hmm. Could've been a sand spider.

Belle: Ok. Thanks.

Shawn-D: It was me -- uh, my hand -- I was trying to --

Belle: Oh, my -- I am so lame.

Mr. Woods: You ok now, Ms. Black?

Ms. Perez: Ok, everyone, let's sweep the area for spiders.

Belle: No, no, no. No. No one move. It's fine. It wasn't a spider.

Ms. Perez: You know what it was?

Belle: Yeah. It was just Shawn's hand.

Shawn-D: So, never mind.

Mr. Woods: Ok. Never mind. I think we're through for tonight. Let's try to get some sleep. We've got another full day ahead of us tomorrow.

Philip: What's up, spider-man?

Shawn-D: All right, all right.

Philip: So?

Shawn-D: Yeah, but you know what? You're gonna be calling me that tomorrow after rock climbing.

Philip: You think that star will be the last clue?

Shawn-D: Well, I hope so, otherwise everyone around here is gonna have a clue what we're up to unless we find that ruby soon.

Shawn-D: Oh, Phil, don't tell me, man. Is this camp sing-along time?

Philip: No, no. I got to get away from these people.

Shawn-D: I understand.

Philip: At least you have somebody to get away with. You're in paradise, bro. Live it up.

Jason: Am I the only one living it up around here?

Jan: You're like my parents with that thing. You know I can't have any. Why do you keep tempting me? Am I no fun when I'm just plain me?

Belle: Shawn, I am so sorry. I'm so clueless.

Shawn-D: Well, I guess if I held your hand more often, then you'd know to expect it. And I really don't care who knows that I'm doing it, just as long as I am..

Jack: The truth -- the truth, actually, is -- I did make a friend in North Africa, during the time that Jennifer would have you believe I was never even there.

Jennifer: Hmm. And have you talked to Oliver since you ran his company into the ground?

Jack: I did run this small company in the Congo, though on quite an even keel, I must tell you.

Jennifer: Oh, that means no growth from zero, which is why now there is no business.

Jack: Then why, pray tell, would Oliver want to work with me again?

Jennifer: Because the bigger the challenge, the happier he is, Jack.

Greta: What was the business?

Jack: Uh, something, uh, very innovative, uh --

Greta: What?

Jack: Plastic nose bones.

Greta: I'm sorry. I just thought you said "plastic nose bones."

Jennifer: Guess what. He did. Ha ha ha!

Philip's voice: Nothing can hurt me more than what you did to me tonight. Did you have fun, opera girl? Hmm?

Philip: Did you get off making me look like a total jerk in front of all my friends for ever going out with you? Who cares, right? I mean, as long as you are making the money, as long as you get into freaking music school! No wonder you wouldn't tell me what your moneymaking plan was, you freak! You weirdo! You disgust me. Ghoul girl!

Philip: I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you this way.

Philip's voice: I love you.

Philip: It's all my fault. Why did you have to go?

Jan: I'm thirsty, Jas.

Jason: Have some of this.

Jan: I mean it. I'll be right back.

Paul: See? You've got the acting chops, little one. I told you.

Jan: So, what's up?

Paul: We need to talk. Come with me.

Shawn-D: So, what do you want to do?

Belle: Hmm. I don't know. We could sit by the fire and look at the stars.

Shawn-D: Oh. I mean, oh.

Belle: Too boring for you?

Shawn-D: No. Well, if we, uh, we did it over there alone, in the water.

Belle: Or we could do that. Yeah.

Shawn-D: All right. Well, uh, do you have your bathing suit on? Yeah. Ok. Uh, well, I don't, so give me two minutes?

Belle: Ok.

Mimi: So, what time may I expect you back in our tent?

Belle: And what are you going to do tonight, Meems?

Mimi: Oh, catalog my plant specimens, case the area for bugs. Don't worry. I'll amuse myself.

Belle: Well, I would invite you to go swimming with us tonight, but --

Mimi: I would have to kill you if you did.

Belle: Ok.

Mimi: If it can't be me, at least I can pretend I'm watching sleepless in Puerto Rico. You do know how happy I am for you, don't you?

Belle: Thank you so much for saying that, Mimi.

Mimi: And I really mean it. You so deserve it, you and Shawn both.

Belle: Thank you.

Waitress: Here you go.

Colin: Thank you.

Waitress: You're welcome.

Colin: Three-bedroom flat, pool and fitness center, 850 U.S. dollars. And you wonder why people want to live here. Lizzie, God love you, but why do you have to be so bloody stubborn?

Caroline: And this blouse? Oh, that color looks so great on you.

Elizabeth: Oh, thank you.

Colin: That was fast.

Caroline: Yes.

Elizabeth: I came, I saw, I bought.

Colin: Hail the conquering Aunt Caroline.

Elizabeth: I'm going to leave this with you, darling. We've only made the smallest dent. Next we hit the lingerie.

Jack: You have pierced ears, haven't you?

Jennifer: Oh, and speaking of holes in the cranial region --

Jack: Well, yes, let's see. Pins through the tongue are always popular. Rings through the lip, diamond in the nasal cartilage...

Jennifer: Ok. What would you say if Abby wanted a nose stud?

Jack: She's a tasteful child, Jennifer.

Jennifer: She takes after me.

Jack: Obviously.

Jennifer: And you know, I have nothing against a piercing here or there, but not on my daughter.

Jack: Well, I can't be responsible for all those other lax parents in the U.S. of A.

Greta: Wait a minute. You were going to market these plastic nose bones in America?

Jack: That's the idea -- in a variety of day-glo colors with no animal by-products, therefore vegan-friendly.

Jennifer: Oh, yes, and they did great market research -- except the failure to anticipate that there was no market for their product. And I am sure that Jack has asked you to invest in his latest venture, but aren't you glad you held on to your money? Or you, too, would have an unmovable inventory of plastic day-glo bones for noses. A crucial accessory for a Princess, wouldn't you say?

Greta: Ha ha ha!

Jennifer: Can you imagine a bone through your nose? In pink or green?

Philip: Chloe, if you were here, I'd play you a song.

Philip: I don't need a lot of things I can get by with nothing of all the blessings life can bring Iíve always needed something but I've got all I want when it comes to loving you you're the only reason you're my only truth I need you like water, like breath, like rain I need you like mercy from heaven's gate there's a freedom in your arms that carries me through I need you.

Belle: Meems, I am so flattered you think my life is romantic after one date, but it's not going to be like a movie, because you can't exactly --

Mimi: Watch.

Belle: Yeah.

Mimi: Right. But I can dream that it might happen to me before I die. Don't give me another thought.

Belle: I'll see you.

Mimi: Like you would. Aren't you hot over here by the fire, Kev? How come you're hanging on to that shirt?

Jason: Hurry up, Jan. I want to be conscious enough to, like, remember this night in paradise.

Jan: So, is this about the modeling thing?

Paul: Oh, yeah, if you're still interested.

Jan: Of course I am.

Paul: Good for you -- and me. If I didn't have accuse to keep on interacting with you -- I mean, I've really had my limit of this teen crowd.

Jan: You know I'm a teenager.

Paul: But mature in mind and body -- again, lucky for both of us.

Jan: Are you sure I'm gonna have to take my clothes off for these films?

Paul: So, hmm. That's bothering you, huh? Now that you've had some time to think on it -

Jan: Well, no, I mean -- well, like I said before, as long as it's right for the part and important to the movie. And hey, you get to travel, right?

Paul: Sure. Most of these teen flicks are made in Europe.

Jan: And the money's good?

Paul: For a newcomer like you, nothing pays better than the nudies.

Jan: Wait. I -- I thought these were art films. Oh, oh, oh, oh that's what I meant. You know I'd only get you into first-class stuff, which is why I'll need some absolutely professional photos of you.

Jan: You mean like head shots?

Paul: No, like centerfolds.

Jan: Oh. I don't have those.

Paul: Well, I'm a topnotch photographer, you know.

Jan: I'm sure you are. I -- I just --

Paul: You kids think nothing these days of dropping your pants, right? Look. I mean, if you can't do it for me, who you're comfortable with, you can just forget it on a movie set with 30 people around.

Shawn-D: Well, what's going on?

Greta: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Jack. I don't mean to laugh.

Jack: It's all right. I'll spare you the details of my new job prospect. No, no, no, no.

Greta: No, no, don't go. Don't go. I'm dying of curiosity now. Ok. All right. I promise you -- whoo -- I am not gonna laugh. I promise you, so, come on. Pitch me the idea. Come on. As the peanut gallery over there just pipes down.

Jennifer: Peanuts is what it'll pay.

Jack: No.

Jennifer: No. I'm sorry. You go. You -- you knock her dead.

Jack: All right. You tell me, Princess, how many languages do you speak?

Greta: Oh, um, French, English, a little bit of German, Italian, Spanish...

Jack: Hmm. And how did you come by this valuable knowledge?

Greta: Through travel, and, uh, a little bit of TV.

Jack: TV? TV -- it's very interesting you should say TV. Would you say if I told you could watch friends in Farsi, French, or Finish? Would you give it a try?

Greta: Of course I would, but how?

Jack: With your television set, supplying any of 15 languages, providing an educational and entertaining viewing experience.

Greta: Wow. They have technology like this?

Jack: Well, you've already seen subtitles in Spanish, closed captioning -- we're just taking it to the next level.

Greta: You and Oliver?

Jack: Exactly.

Greta: If Oliver's come up with the technology, what is your part in all this?

Jack: Well, you know, it was kind of my idea. He's probably going to get me involved at every level.

Greta: That's great. Well, how did you get to know him anyway? I mean, well, I imagine it wasn't on safari.

Jennifer: Oh, Oliver felt that Jack represented the other side of the male coin -- the delicate side.

Jack: He did not say, "delicate."

Jennifer: Direct quote. To me, at least.

Jack: He said, "educated and refined."

Greta: Who cares what he said? You are educated and refined, and I think this is an incredible idea.

Jan: We were just talking about some dumb movie.

Shawn-D: What are you doing all the way out here?

Jan: Walking, like you.

Shawn-D: Why don't you come back to the campfire with me, Jan?

Jan: Something tells me you're not on your way back there, Shawn. What's up with you?

Shawn-D: It's nice to have someone looking out for you every once in a while. I just hope you learn that someday.

Paul: What's his deal? He's hot for you, huh?

Jan: No. He goes for the "never been kissed" types.

Paul: And that's not you, huh? You've been kissed plenty of times, haven't you?

Mimi: When in Rome, wear a toga.

Kevin: Maybe 2,000 years ago.

Mimi: You know what I mean. You dress the island way. You've seen those commercials for Hawaii.

Kevin: I don't intend to wear a hula skirt, thank you.

Mimi: Come on, Kev. We've seen your chest. You've got nothing to hide, believe me. What's this made out of? It's cool.

Kevin: I don't know.

Mimi: Let me see.

Kevin: Ok. Fine.

Jack: With the downward trend in network ratings, I know that the networks would welcome the opportunity to add available viewers, and, Greta, if you had visitors from France, they could watch Les Amies or Frazier.

Greta: Who would ever think that Joey could speak 15 languages?

Jennifer: I see. So the ultimate goal is to breed a generation of multilingual couch potatoes.

Jack: After experiencing the 300 dialects of Nigeria, I would have thought you'd have more respect for language education. But let me just point out, for many recent immigrants, TV is the one and only connection to the English-speaking world, and unaccented English, like it or not, is the ticket to the better way of life in the U.S.A.

Jennifer: And that should be so valuable. I mean, English lessons from Lenny and Squiggy and James Gandolfini.

Greta: Well, maybe you could add a v-chip.

Jack: At least someone in this room is trying. Why don't we just brainstorm on this later,

Greta, after Oscar the Grouch has left the building? [Door slams]

Elizabeth: Colin, look what I bought you, darling. That sky looks threatening, and I know you were hoping to leave the rain in London, and I do find the climate here a vast improvement, but we must be prepared, mustn't we? Try it.

Colin: So thoughtful of you.

Elizabeth: Oh, that's smart. He's maddeningly unconcerned with his physical appearance. Of course, he could wear a sack beautifully. Oh, I'm sorry, darling. I couldn't resist getting you some trousers.

Colin: Do I detect a hint of acceptance regarding life in Salem?

Elizabeth: Well, I appreciate quaint. Perhaps I could accustom myself to it.

Colin: You are a miracle worker.

Caroline: All the credit goes to Baron's.

Elizabeth: Would you mind terribly if I stole your aunt a bit longer? We can meet at the pub for dinner.

Colin: Yeah. Terrific. Um, take your time and enjoy.

Elizabeth: I love you.

Colin: I'll have these packages sent back to the hotel.

Elizabeth: Ok. Perfect. Thanks, darling. Let's go.

Mimi: Polyester. Well, who'd have guessed? I like this. Mind if I try?

Kevin: Um, well, it's kind of on the sweaty side.

Mimi: Mmm, smells like the ocean. Were you on the beach?

Kevin: No, but the water's right there.

Mimi: How can you be so close to a beach and not set foot on it?

Kevin: Easily.

Mimi: Well, the day's not over. I'm going to go walk by the water.

Kevin: Be careful. It's high tide.

Mimi: Do you think you could come explain that to me, Kevin? The tides, the moon, the inescapable pull of gravity, which also keeps you standing here next to me and penny all the way over there. Walk with me.

Philip: I need you like water like breath, like rain I need you like mercy from heaven's gate there's a freedom in your arms that carries me through I need you

Philip: Oh, Chloe.

Shawn-D: I hate to tell you this, but your teeth are chattering.

Belle: No, they're not.

Shawn-D: So you don't want to go in?

Belle: No.

Shawn-D: You know, I remember when we used to go to the lake and your lips would turn blue. I saw your dad do this. Now, I know that I'm not him, but --

Belle: No, you're not.

Shawn-D: Is that better?

Belle: Mm-hmm.

Shawn-D: Yeah. Let me see.

Shawn-D: I hate to tell you this, but you're still shivering.

Belle: I am?

Shawn-D: You know, I, uh -- I have a blanket up on the beach. Sure you don't want to go, uh, warm up?

Belle: Ok.

Jack: Damn it. Ok. Plan "B."

Jennifer: Greta, I am so sorry that I just acted that way. I was really negative, wasn't I?

Greta: You weren't exactly supportive.

Jennifer: Well, you know where I learned to be sarcastic? It's not a Horton trait. Everything that I know about cynicism, I learned from Jack Deveraux.

Greta: That's the way he treated you when you were married? The way you just talked to him?

Jennifer: No.

Greta: That's awful.

Jennifer: Actually not. I am lucky if he talked to me at all.

Greta: You know, I'm sorry, Jennifer. This is none of my business.

Jennifer: I'm sorry that I bothered you. I should not have come here. This was a mistake.

Greta: No, no, Jennifer. If you think that I think that you're a bad person, please don't worry about that, because I don't.

Jennifer: Look, that's, um -- that's really nice of you to say, but I am really embarrassed by the way that I behaved. It was wrong. We need to find Jack a job, and I need to be encouraging him. And you were right -- it actually was a great idea.

Greta: Look, um, before you go, I want to answer your question. Before, you would always say that you weren't interested in Jack, and I don't know that I believed you. But after today, I'm -- I'm really clear. So, um, I guess I'm free to say that, yeah, I'm interested in Jack. I think he's a really good guy, and I like him a lot.

Jennifer: That's good because I think he really likes you, too, so, um -- so I'm glad.

Greta: Yeah. I'm -- I'm glad, too. We'll do this again?

Jennifer: Yeah. Yeah, ok. Take care.

Greta: Ok. Bye.

Jack: Yes! Thank you, Greta. Merci Beaucoup.

Penelope: So do I have to play dumb or just be dumb?

Susan: You have to admit, Mimi played that very smart. And dumb can only get you so far with Kevin. He really respects a person with a brain, you know. That's the problem with guys our age. Most of them are really clueless when it comes to girls, which is why sometimes we have to be a little more aggressive, maybe make the first move.

Penelope: So how come you don't do that?

Susan: I don't see Kevin in a romantic way. We're just friends.

Penelope: Did I say, "Kevin"?

Susan: Isn't that who we were talking about?

Penelope: Come on. You like him, don't you?

Susan: As a friend, like I keep saying. He's not my type, ok?

Penelope: So who is?

Susan: I don't know. Heath Ledger?

Penelope: Well, yeah, me, too, but since he's not going to notice me because I will never meet him in my life, how do I get a tiny bit of Kevin's attention? You're smart about this

stuff. I know you know.

Susan: First of all, penny, aim a little higher. It's a lot easier than you think. This is what you do.

Kevin: So, when the sun, the moon, and the earth are all aligned, you have synergy. Now, in about 6 hours and 13 minutes, when the moon is at right angles to earth, you have low tide.

Mimi: How did you get so smart? Oh, you have something on your shoulder. This really is a spider, I think. Hold on. I'll get it.

Paul: Well, I'm not wrong, am I? You've been around the block a couple times.

Jan: Sort of.

Paul: So these photos that I'm going to take of you -- piece of cake, right? You can't get a better setting than the natural beauty of this island to match your own natural beauty, of course.

Jan: You know what? Well, I'm going to have to think about it. I mean, Jason's -- he's waiting for me and all. But I'll talk to you later, though, ok?

Paul: Damn. You're losing your touch, desi. You went a little too fast there. But she'll be back. Oh, yeah. She wants it bad. Mm-hmm.

Belle: What about you?

Shawn-D: I don't know. We'll figure something out.

Belle: Ha ha! You're freezing.

Shawn-D: Not for long.

Shawn-D: Maybe I'd better stop.

Belle: No. Don't stop.

Jennifer: Oh, man. It looks like it's going to pour down rain out there. Oh, my gosh. Is that Colin?

Jack: Oh, no. Oh, no. Jennifer thinks that Greta's interested in me because Greta is interested in me. What am I going to do about that? Why am I so irresistible to women all of a sudden? Oh, come on, now. You always have been. Very true. So, what to do about

Greta? I don't suppose you have any suggestions? Jack, you caused this problem. Now, you better not hurt her. Not for anything in the world.

Colin: It's a wonderful building. No wonder the flat was let so quickly.

Doorman: I understand there might be another place on the market within the week, but when it's advertised, you won't get in unless you jump on it right away.

Colin: Thanks for the tip. I appreciate your help.

Jennifer: Oh, my gosh. But even if it is him, what am I going to say? I mean, he told me he never wanted to see me again. Excuse me. Uh, that man that you were just talking to -- did he tell you his name, by any chance?

Doorman: No, ma'am. I'm sorry. He was just asking about the availability of apartments in this building.

Jennifer: Oh. Uh, he didn't, by any chance -- he didn't have an accent, did he?

Doorman: Yes, indeed. English, I'd say.

Philip: Chloe, where'd you go?

Chloe: I'm right here.

Philip: Why can't I hold you?

Chloe: Because you didn't believe in me, so, to you, I'm untouchable. I don't really exist.

Philip: But I -- I do believe in you. And I've got to get back to you. Get me off this damn island and get me home!

Mimi: It -- it didn't bite you, did it?

Kevin: I didn't even feel it.

Mimi: Your skin is so soft.

Kevin: Aloe lotion.

Mimi: It's soft back here, too.

Kevin: I have some more lotion if you want some.

Mimi: Your abs are so tight. Sit-ups?

Kevin: Mm-hmm.

Mimi: Your legs are so --

Shawn-D: Belle, I mean it, if I don't stop now, I'm not going to be able to.

Belle: I don't want you to.  

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