B&B Transcript Monday 8/30/10

The Bold and The Beautiful Transcript Monday 8/30/10

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Liam: You're my father?

Bill: You're my son? Unh-unh.

Liam: Hell, no.

Bill: No way.

Liam: I would rather die.

Bill: This nerdy little geek is not my son.

Liam: This is not my father.

Thorne: I could be Liam's father.

Stephanie: Honey... (Chuckles) Don't--don't get carried away here.

Thorne: I was involved with his mother.

Stephanie: Wait a minute. Just because you date someone and you even have sex with them doesn't necessarily mean you're going to be the father of her child.

Thorne: But, Mother, it is possible. I mean, the timing is right. Liam's the right age. My God, Mother, what if it's true?

Stephanie: Stop jumping to conclusions. This boy is a bit of a con man, okay? I-I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.

Thorne: Okay, you said his mother told him to come here to Forrester to find his father, right?

Stephanie: Mm-hmm.

Thorne: I'm the only one she has a history with, Mother.

Stephanie: Honey, as far as you know.

Thorne: I can't deny the possibility that I could have a son.

Ridge: What's going on?

Stephanie: Your brother seems to think he has found his long lost son.

Thorne: Liam Cooper. I could be his father, Ridge.

Ridge: Thorne, don't sweat it. You're not Liam's father. The guy tried to pin that on me, too, remember?

Thorne: I know, but my story's different.

Ridge: How so?

Stephanie: He had an affair with the mother.

Thorne: Kelly Hopkins. I hired her as a fit model when she got out of college, Ridge. She and I were pretty close for a while, and then she just took off, disappeared. I never heard from her again. Maybe she left because she was pregnant.

Stephanie: Honey, I have a hard time believing that you're the father of that boy.

Thorne: I might have a son. There's only one way to be sure. I need to find Liam Cooper.

Man: You're looking for Liam Cooper?

Thorne: Yeah.

Man: I just saw him with Hope in the Sky Lounge, then they left together.

Thorne: Where did they go?

Man: I don't know.

Thorne: (Sighs)

Liam: I can't believe my mother had anything to do with you.

Bill: She couldn't resist my magnetic personality.

Liam: So what--what is this-- what is this silly thing around your neck? What is that? What do you call that?

Bill: I call it a sword.

Liam: A sword. A sword. It's--it's a--come on! There's no way my father walks around wearing a toy sword necklace.

Bill: You're right. Your father does not walk around wearing one because it's one of a kind. I hate to break it to you, Junior. I am not your daddy.

Liam: You know, I've never been particularly religious, but I pray to God you're right, you arrogant, pompous egomaniac.

Bill: Flattering me isn't gonna help you any either.

Katie: All right, look. Neither one of you know each other very well, and as much as you don't want to admit it, there is a chance that you're father and son. There's also a chance that you're not. So why don't we all just calm down, go grab a bite to eat, maybe have a drink, maybe a few?

Hope: I agree. I think you guys should go out and get some beers and get to know each other.

Liam: You're kidding me.

Bill: I already know enough about this little weasel to know I don't like him.

Liam: Ditto for me.

(Cell phone rings)

Hope: Oh. (Groans) Hello?

Thorne: Hey, Hope. It's Thorne.

Hope: Oh, hey, Thorne. You know what? I'm kind of in the middle of something right now.

Thorne: Listen, I need to talk to you about this guy you're friends with, Liam.

Hope: Oh, look, if it's to tell me to stay away from him, I know. I get it.

Thorne: No, no, no. No. I need to find him. It's important.

Hope: Why? What's up?

Thorne: He could be my son.

Hope: I'm sorry. Uh, Thorne, did you just say that Liam could be your son?

Bill: (Laughs) There you go. Things are lookin' up.

Thorne: I'll explain later.

Bill: Hey, Forrester, congratulations. It's a boy.

Katie: Bill, stop.

Thorne: Who was that?

Hope: Uh, it was Spencer. We're at his office right now, actually, and there is a chance that he could also be Liam's father.

Thorne: Oh, great. We need to get to the bottom of this. Meet me at the lab at the hospital. We'll do a blood test. I'll call 'em and let 'em know that we're coming, okay?

Hope: Yeah, okay.

Bill: Well, there you have it, Slick. Your little game of "Who's your daddy" is over. You're Thorne Forrester's kid, not mine. Liam Forrester-- just rolls off your tongue, don't you think?

Katie: Let's not get ahead of ourselves. What exactly did Thorne say?

Hope: Uh, well, he said that he could explain, that he is possibly Liam's father, and that he wants us to meet him at the hospital.

Liam: Uh, for what?

Hope: Blood test.

Liam: Oh, man.

Bill: What are you waitin' for, little guy? Run along. Daddy's waitin'.

Hope: Oh, you're coming, too.

Bill: No, I am not.

Katie: Yes, you are. We're all going.

Bill: What's the point? The Forresters are weasels. He's a weasel. It all makes perfect sense. In fact, here you go. Give these to your pops with my congratulations.

Katie: Why don't we just go and get a blood test just to be sure?

Bill: Not necessary.

Hope: Well, if you're so sure that he's not your son, why don't you prove it?

Bill: 'Cause I'm not gonna waste a drop of blood on this kid.

Liam: Oh, yeah? That's funny, because I would give my right lung to be able to prove I'm not related to you.

Katie: Listen, look on the bright side. A minute ago, you were the only one in the running to be Liam's daddy. Now it's a 50/50 chance. Come on. Let's go.

Bill: All right. I'm willing to bet the house I'm right about this one.

Liam: Well, if being right means you're not my father, I wish you all the luck in the world.

Thorne: Hope is with Liam at Bill Spencer's office. It seems that, uh, Liam thinks that Spencer could be his father.

Stephanie: (Laughs) This just gets stranger and stranger by the minute.

Ridge: Don't you think it's a little odd that Liam targets two of the most famous families in Los Angeles? First he comes after me, then Spencer, and now you.

Stephanie: I think the boy is looking for something, but it's more than just a father.

Ridge: He could be looking for a payoff, Thorne. We just had a major scandal happen, and he was definitely involved in it.

Thorne: I can't think about any of that right now.

Stephanie: Well, we're just cautioning you to be wary of him.

Thorne: I understand, Mother, but there's a very real chance that I could be this kid's father, and if I am, I need to know that.

Stephanie: Are you sure you want to go through with this? I mean, if this boy turns out to be legitimate... I mean, this will change your whole life, honey.

Thorne: I know. I know that. But I need to find out for myself and for Liam. I mean, this kid deserves to know who his father is after all these years.

Ridge: Do you want us to go to the hospital with you?

Thorne: No. I need to handle this on my own.

Bill: This is a waste of time.

Liam: Do you ever stop talking?

Bill: Do you have a flyswatter? He's like a gnat.

Liam: Oh, I'm like a gnat. Yeah.

Katie: Can we please just keep this civil?

Bill: Look at this. I mean, look at him. He's gotta be Thorne's kid-- fair-haired, milky complexion, looks like a doll. Did you even hit puberty yet?

Liam: Hey, look, Mr. Sword-necklace-man, I don't want to be here either, much less be here with you.

Bill: Come on. Cut the bull. You would kill to be my son.

Liam: What? Why--why would I want that?

Bill: Well, for one, because I'm me.

Katie: (Sighs)

Bill: Two, I have more money than God.

Liam: Yeah, I don't care about money.

Bill: Again?

Liam: I don't care about money.

Bill: (Laughs) Okay, that's it. Done deal. No way in hell this is my kid.

Doctor: Hello, everyone. Sorry to keep you waiting. I'm Dr. Steele. I assume you two are the potential father and son.

Bill and Liam: No.

Dr. Steele: So you two aren't the potential father and son?

Hope: No, they are.

Katie: They're just not real excited at the prospect of being related.

Bill: (Sighs)

Dr. Steele: Ah, I see. Well, paternity tests can be quite stressful.

Liam: (Scoffs)

Dr. Steele: Though I must say, the relationship between a father and son can be a very beautiful thing.

Thorne: Sorry I'm late. I got here as fast as I could. I'm Thorne Forrester.

Dr. Steele: Dr. Steele. Nice to meet you. Uh, where do you fit into this equation?

Thorne: I need a blood test, too.

Bill: Why don't I save us all a bunch of time by doing a test of my own?

Katie: This isn't going to involve kung fu, is it?

Bill: A homeless man comes up to you in the street and asks for money. What do you do?

Thorne: You help him out.

Liam: Yeah, give him a buck or two.

Bill: No, you morons. You give him nothing, zilch.

Katie: (Sighs)

Bill: Zero. He's just gonna use it to buy drugs or alcohol. People like you perpetuate our problems. You see? He's too soft. These are a match made in heaven.

Katie: (Sighs)

Thorne: Could I talk to you outside for a minute?

Liam: Yeah, no problem.

Bill: Let the father-son bonding begin.

Katie: (Chuckles)

Ridge: Bill Spencer's the possible father. How wild is that?

Stephanie: That poor kid.

Ridge: Well, for Liam's sake, I hope that Bill Spencer is not his father.

Bill: I am not Liam's father. H-he's a dead ringer for Forrester. Now let's get out of here.

Katie: Listen, you were involved with his mother. You need to know if he's your son, and he has a right to know if you're his father.

Bill: Katie, he is not a Spencer, all right? He's soft. He--he--he's a computer geek. He's probably a-a "Dungeons & Dragons" fanatic. We have nothing in common. I mean, even if he were my son, I wouldn't know what to do with him.

Katie: Well, and I think that's the point, isn't it? You're afraid. You're afraid of failing as a father. You don't know how to deal with your son.

Bill: Don't call that nerd my son.

Katie: You slept with his mother.

Bill: Yes. And she sent him to Forrester Creations to find his father, not Spencer Publications. Why would she do that, to send her own kid on a scavenger hunt? No. Because his father is a Forrester, not a Spencer. I mean, come on. I mean, it is so obvious. That is Thorne's kid.

Liam: So, uh... (Laughs) How did you know my mom?

Thorne: Your mother was a fit model for Forrester years ago. I knew there was something very special about her the first time I saw her.

Liam: So you-- I take it you guys dated, or...

Thorne: Yeah, right when she got to L.A. We, uh, we got to know each other pretty well. I cared about your mother. She was a, uh, very beautiful, wonderful woman.

Liam: Yeah, she was.

Thorne: I'm sorry for your loss.

Liam: Thank you.

Thorne: It must have been very difficult losing your mother.

Liam: Yeah, well, she-- I mean, she was sick for a while. And--and I-I did my best to take care of her, but in the end, it got... it got rough.

Thorne: Yeah.

Liam: She, um... she suffered a lot.

Thorne: Well, she was very lucky to have such a loving son.

Liam: Thank you. Hey, you want to know what Bill said about my mother dying? (Chuckles) He said, "Everybody's mother dies. Get over it."

Thorne: Yeah, well, that's Spencer. He doesn't have a caring bone in his body.

Liam: Yeah, I figured that out right away. Well, uh, Hope has been amazing to me.

Hope: (Chuckles) I just--well, I just think everyone needs someone to lean on. You know, that's why I'm here.

Thorne: Listen, there's something you should know. I have a daughter, Alexandria. Her mom passed away a few years ago.

Liam: Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

Thorne: Well, it's just me and Ally now, and she's an amazing kid. But I, um, I'd be very proud to have a son in our family, too.

Liam: I, um, I would like that. Hey, I'm really sorry that I just-- I just assumed it was Ridge. I don't know why I did that.

Thorne: No.

Liam: It was crazy. I--

Thorne: (Chuckles)

Liam: But, um, I mean, it really could be you. Wouldn't that be something?

Thorne: Well, Alexandria's my greatest joy in the world. But I've always wanted a son. You know, you could be a big brother to Ally. That's if I, uh, turn out to be your dad.

Liam: Yeah.

Hope: Yeah.

Liam: Well, I guess, um, we're gonna find out. (Chuckles)

Thorne: Yeah.

Stephanie: Don't you think we should just go over to the hospital?

Ridge: Thorne really wants to do this himself.

Stephanie: I know. But I'm his mother. Shouldn't I be there for him?

Ridge: Oh, Mother, he's a big boy. You have to respect his wishes.

Stephanie: (Sighs) I guess you're right.

Ridge: Besides, there's nothing we could do there except pace and wait.

Stephanie: Offer moral support.

Ridge: Look, however this goes, he's gonna need us. But until then...

Stephanie: We'd be in the way.

Ridge: You know, this kid Liam may not be a con man after all.

Stephanie: I don't trust him.

Ridge: There's a distinct possibility this may be a real situation here for Thorne.

Stephanie: How do you prepare for something like that?

Ridge: Finding a child that's now an adult that you had no awareness of? It's gotta be a real head trip for Thorne right now, I'm sure.

Stephanie: Yeah, if it turns out to be true. Yes.

Ridge: Or... he could be Bill Spencer's child.

Stephanie: That gets my vote.

Ridge: I told him I didn't really like him hanging around Hope.

Stephanie: Neither do I, especially after all the damage he's caused.

Ridge: Now we may have a new member of the family. Oh, happy day.

Hope: How you holding up?

Liam: (Sighs) I don't know. I mean, my head is spinning. I can't believe this is happening.

Hope: Yeah, it's gotta be overwhelming. I know.

Liam: I just didn't think it would ever get to this point, you know? I mean, I-I guess I always wondered in the back of my mind who my real father was, but my mom and I were, like, so tight, that it--it was never really that important. And then... when she got sick, I guess she just decided that it's best for me to know.

Hope: She just didn't want you to be alone.

Liam: (Sighs) Yeah, I think she felt, like, bad, guilty, for, like--like--like, she was abandoning me by leaving me with no family, you know?

Hope: Well, obviously, now she wants you to know who your father is.

Liam: Yeah. It would have been nice if she would have warned me about how crazy he was gonna be, but, you know, whatever.

Hope: (Chuckles) I-I don't think she could have predicted all this.

Liam: I know. You're not kidding, right? I mean, here I am in the hospital waiting to find out if "Dr. Evil" or "Mr. Nice Guy" is my dad. It's crazy. It's... at least I have a beautiful girl by my side.

Hope: (Chuckles) Well, I'm glad I'm here, Liam. And look, I can tell you right now that Thorne is a good guy. Okay? He's been a really great dad to Ally, you know, very devoted father.

Liam: (Inhales sharply)

Hope: And then, you know, there's--there's Bill.

Liam: Yeah, Bill. What a gem that guy is.

Hope: (Chuckles)

Liam: Bill Spencer as my f-- (Stammers) My father. God, life can't be that cruel.

Hope: Well, let's hope not.

Liam: Thanks.

Dr. Steele: Uh, excuse me? Time for the blood test.

Hope: All right, this is it. Are you ready?

Bill: Can we get this show on the road? Time is money.

Dr. Steele: We're all set for the blood tests. We'll take samples from each of you individually, run them through the lab, looking for genetic markers that only a-a father and a son will have, and that should give us our answer-- which of you is the father.

Bill: Is it really necessary for me to be a part of this? Look at me. Prince of Darkness.

Liam: Look at him. Prince Charming. It doesn't take a genius to figure out who the daddy is.

Dr. Steele: Yeah, I understand your point, Mr. Spencer. But let's let science, uh, make the final determination. Are you ready?

Katie: Yes, he's ready. Go ahead, honey.

Bill: Fine. Stick me.

Liam: Don't be surprised if no blood comes out, because I don't think he's human.

Bill: Why don't you shut up and be a good boy, Liam. Maybe Dr. Steele will give you a lolly. That's fine.

Dr. Steele: Okay. We have, uh, Mr. Forrester's and Mr. Spencer's sample. That leaves Mr. Cooper.

Liam: Oh. Oh, man, okay.

Hope: You okay?

Liam: Yeah, no, I'm good. I just--I'm--I'm a little-- little faint around needles. That's all.

Bill: You've got to be kidding me.

Katie: Be nice.

Liam: It's my one weakness, okay?

Bill: One of many, I'm sure.

Hope: Look, everything is going to be fine, okay? I'll hold your hand.

Liam: Yeah, okay.

Bill: What is so scary about one sharp little needle?

Thorne: Could you give it a rest, Spencer?

Hope: Please stop.

Dr. Steele: Would you like to lie down?

Liam: (Scoffs) No, man, I'm g-- I'm good.

Bill: Better get the smelling salts ready.

Dr. Steele: Have a seat.

Liam: Yeah, that's-- that's--that's probably good. That's great.

Dr. Steele: All right.

Liam: Okay. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. (Sighs)

Dr. Steele: All right. Now you're gonna feel a little pinch.

Liam: Okay. Oh!

Thorne: It's okay. I hate needles, too.

Liam: (Groans) (Sighs)

Bill: Oh, will you two ladies suck it up? There is no way you're my son.

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