[an error occurred while processing this directive] AW Transcript Tuesday 9/27/05 [an error occurred while processing this directive]
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Another World Transcript Tuesday 9/27/05

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[Music plays]

Frankie: I thought you said you wanted to celebrate your birthday.

Cass: I do.

Frankie: Here?

Cass: Hey, great, isnít it?

Frankie: Oh, yeah. Maybe we can get them to stick a candle in one of the hard-boiled eggs on the bar.

Cass: Oh, I take it you -- you're disappointed, honey?

Frankie: No. No, this is exactly what I wanted to be doing this evening.

Cass: Yeah?

Frankie: Following you around the docks on your birthday looking for a dead body.

Cass: Shh! Can we have two beers, please, draft?

Frankie: Bottles. Donít open them.

Cass: Whatever she says. How are we going to drink them if we donít open them?

Frankie: I never travel without a church key.

Cass: Oh.

Frankie: It's more sanitary.

Cass: Uh. Weird, but whatever makes you happy, Frankie. But do me a favor, huh? Donít go around talking about you know what, especially not here.

Frankie: Hey, it's too bad we didnít find anything. You could have spent your birthday down at the morgue. It would have been much more cheery.

Cass: Oh, yes! Thank you! Ahem.

Frankie: Cass --

Cass: What?

Frankie: You donít run a tab here.

Cass: Oh, right. Right. I forgot. There you go. Hey, keep your change. I really hate it when they talk your ear off like that. So --

Frankie: Ah.

Cass: So --

Frankie: So --

Cass: What are you doing?

Frankie: You never know where these things have been.

Cass: It had a cap on it, Frankie.

Frankie: Oh, shut up.

Cass: So, can I drink it now?

Frankie: Yes. Happy birthday, Cass.

Cass: I'm really glad to be here.

Frankie: Oh, that is disgusting.

Cass: Well, for one thing, Lucas isnít going to see us here, right?

Frankie: No, he doesn't have a corporate account here, it's true.

Cass: And besides, I'm feeling a little sentimental about this place. This is where we had one of our first fights.

Frankie: Oh. If we had to drink in every place where we had a fight --

Cass: We're not fighting now.

Frankie: Ah. We should probably drink to that.

Cass: I have a better idea. Let's drink to us.

Reuben: Seven people in a boarding house for dinner. The girl must think I'm Julia Child or something. How are you doing? Did you bring the food?

Ronnie: Yes, I brought the food. I got food, I got candles. This table looks nice. Is that mama's good tablecloth?

Jesse: Reuben told me to sneak it out.

Ronnie: You know, I donít see why you couldn't have invited her, too.

Reuben: Oh, right, that's all I need.

[Metallic banging]

Reuben: Mama and her bible. All she wants to do is talk about me all day.

Ronnie: Stop -- Reuben!

Reuben: Oh! Ugh.

Jesse: Reuben, I think you better take back what you said about mama. I think you made somebody mad, somebody big.

Donna: Jake?

["Pink panther" theme plays]

Donna: Good.

Donna: What's that?

Donna: Please let it be here. Please, please, please, pretty please. Ok. Junk mail, junk mail. Bank statement. Yes, unopened bank statement. Oh, thank you, God. Thank you so much.

Jake: Talking to yourself again, Donna?

Marshall: I heard this test was supposed to be hard.

Tess: Nothing you couldn't handle, though, right?

Marshall: No sweat.

Tess: Hmm. If you say so.

Marshall: How about dinner? You name the place.

Tess: Sorry, I canít. I have plans.

Marshall: What, the lawyer in high Tops?

Tess: With Reuben, yes.

Marshall: Come on, aren't you a little classy for a street guy like that?

Tess: You know what? Sometimes I think he's too classy for me. All right, that's it. Time's up. Hand in your papers, please.

Sharlene: Josie -- Josie, they opened the door. Hi.

Josie: How'd it go?

John: Well, it -- it was a bear.

Sharlene: So did you study enough?

John: I -- I donít know. We'll find out. I get the results in the mail.

Josie: Oh.

Sharlene: No, come on. You have some idea. How did you do?

John: I think it would be a reasonable assumption to say that I might have passed this sucker.

Sharlene: Ah!

Josie: That's great.

Frankie: Hey, what is this "to us" stuff, anyway? I mean, there is no "us." You're afraid of committing, remember?

Cass: You're changing the subject.

Frankie: I know.

Cass: Frankie, we both know that Catherine is dead, right? She was murdered. I think it was Lucas. Now, I want to know that you're going to be careful.

Frankie: I donít want to talk about it anymore.

Cass: Frankie!

Frankie: Look, this is your birthday, right? I donít want to talk about Lucas or dead people. I want to have fun.

Cass: Where are you going?

Frankie: To play the jukebox. Hey.

[Music plays]

Frankie: Let's not sit over here.

Cass: No, I'm eating. No, what are you -- what do you suggest? What do you want to do?

Frankie: Pool?

Cass: I feel it's only fair to warn you that I'm very good at pool.

Frankie: Oh, put your money where your egg is.

Cass: Ok.

Frankie: Rack 'em up, big boy.

Cass: You got it. Did you pick that?

Frankie: Oh, I love a song with a message, donít you?

Cass: You want to break?

Frankie: First, let us set the stakes, you know?

Cass: Ok by me.

Frankie: Keep things interesting? So, let me see here. Caroline gave you a gift, right?

Cass: That's right.

Frankie: If I win --

Cass: Yeah?

Frankie: You give it to me.

Cass: And that's it? Without even having seen it?

Frankie: Oh, if she wants you to have it, it's worth having. Are we on?

Cass: Sure, why not? But what happens when I win?

Frankie: When you win. Whoo-hoo.

Cass: Yeah.

Frankie: What do you want?

Cass: Can I have a minute to think it over?

Frankie: Sure. But it doesn't matter, because you're going to lose, anyway.

Cass: Now, is that any way to talk to a man on his birthday?

Frankie: We donít have to talk at all.

Donna: What are you doing here half naked?

Jake: Well, at least it's the right half, right?

Donna: Well, you're dripping all over the place.

Jake: You know, I was upstairs taking a shower. I heard this noise. I said, "I'd better get down there. Who knows? It might be a thief."

Donna: Jake, this is a place of business. In the future, I suggest that you restrict your ablutions to your home.

Jake: Oh, well, this is my home now.

Donna: What?

Jake: Yeah, I told Uncle Vince I wanted to pay you back the money. He told me to sell the house.

Donna: You sold the house?

Jake: Yeah. Donít worry about it. It's a nice house. It went quick.

Donna: Why did you do that?

Jake: I told you, I had to pay you back.

Donna: But you didnít have to do anything that drastic. I told you you didnít have to pay me back right away.

Jake: That's right. I remember how understanding you were, but I have this thing about being in debt.

Donna: Well, Jake, I canít believe that you sold Vince and Maryís house.

Jake: What are you doing here, Donna?

Donna: I'm a partner.

Jake: Well, partner, it's after business hours.

Donna: Oh, I wanted to do some bookkeeping. I decided I would come in and do some paperwork.

Jake: Hmm. Good. I donít want to dampen your enthusiasm. Go ahead.

Donna: All right. I'll just -- I'll just do this, and you -- you go put on some clothes.

Jake: What's wrong, Donna? Do I make you nervous?

[Music plays]

Frankie: Six ball, corner pocket.

Cass: You might have mentioned that you're a hustler.

Frankie: Yeah, well, some things you keep to yourself.

Man: No, you listen to me, Derek.

Cass: Huh.

Man: You say you want my help? I say you play by my rules.

Man: Think she'll give you a chance to use that?

Man: Now, that's pool.

Cass: What? Yeah, how do you -- very nice to meet -- well, the table is not level, this guy over here was breathing down my neck. Now, come on, you at least owe me the courtesy of the best two out of three.

Frankie: Uh-uh.

Cass: What do you mean, "Uh-uh"?

Frankie: I mean that we had a little wager going on here, and I want to see what I won.

Cass: Well, what makes you so sure that I have it on me?

Frankie: Because I know you, Winthrop. I know when you're holding out on me.

Cass: Hey.

Frankie: Aha!

Cass: "Aha" -- Caroline is not going to like this, you know.

Frankie: Oh, my heart bleeds.

Cass: You set me up right from the start, didnít you? I've never seen you with a cue stick in your hand before.

Frankie: I donít believe this!

Cass: What?

Frankie: Two tickets to St. Martin?

Cass: Yeah, well, she's a very romantic lady, and she's not going to be at all pleased when she finds out you and I went down to St. Martin on her birthday present.

Frankie: Wait one second here. Who said anything about you and I?

Cass: Hey, it's my birthday present!

Frankie: No, it was your birthday present. It is now my winning.

Cass: Oh, give me --

Frankie: What? Sorry! Oh, oh, oh --

Cass: Hey, you're going to hog both tickets?

Frankie: Oh, no, I didnít say that. I think I might give one to someone who's not afraid to commit.

[Frankie hums "twilight zone" theme]

Cass: Oh, that's real nice. Rub my nose in it while I'm trying to be a good sport. Come on, hey.

Frankie: Can we leave here now?

Cass: No, we canít.

Frankie: I have some reservations tonight.

Cass: Oh, do you?

Frankie: You know, some packing to do, some --

Cass: Well, that's too bad. No.

Frankie: Look what you're doing to me.

Cass: There just happens to be a poker game going on over there in the corner, and I want to win my tickets back.

Frankie: No way.

Cass: Frankie, would you like me to go over to that bozo and tell him that he's the man of your dreams and you're dying to take him to St. Martin with you?

Frankie: You wouldnít dare.

Cass: I'll bet he's not afraid of a commitment.

Frankie: Well, like I said, poker sounds good.

Cass: Yeah, I thought you'd see it my way. Let's go.

Sharlene: All that studying -- all that studying, holding two jobs, seeing me through all the stuff with Russ and Josie --

John: Got myself engaged, too.

Sharlene: God, you're a heck of a guy, Dr. Hudson.

John: "Dr. Hudson"?

Sharlene: Yeah.

John: I never thought I'd hear that again.

Sharlene: Just a matter of time.

John: Do you ever get nervous?

Sharlene: About what?

John: About all this, that it may be a dream, that we may wake up one day and find out that none of this ever really happened.

Sharlene: All the time. But somebody told me today that the bad times are over.

John: Who?

Sharlene: Josie.

John: Smart girl. Just to think that a couple of years ago all I had was an old boat and a lot of bad memories.

Sharlene: Ha! And now you're going to be a doctor?

John: Yes!

Sharlene: Uh-huh!

John: With a wife like you and a daughter like Josie. I canít tell you what it did to my heart to see her standing outside the room when I came out of the exam today.

Sharlene: She says blue skies from now on.

John: "Blue skies from now on"?

Sharlene: Blue skies.

John: Mm-hmm. I could do this all day.

Sharlene: Ok. Ok. Then just let me go put away the dinner I made, ok?

John: Dinner?

Sharlene: Yeah, it's just -- it's a leg of lamb and some peas with some mint sauce. Let me just put it away.

John: I haven't eaten all day.

Sharlene: Yeah, and then there's homemade ice cream --

John: Ooh.

Sharlene: And then there's the apple crisp with cinnamon ice cream. It's homemade, too.

John: You made all of that?

Sharlene: Just let me put it away, ok?

John: Sharlene --

Sharlene: Yeah.

John: I'm going to have to marry you.

[Sharlene laughs]

John: I'm going to have to do this!

Sharlene: A man deserves a celebration dinner. Come on, let's go.

John: Wait -- what about Josie?

Sharlene: Josieís having dinner at Reubenís. He's having some kind of special dinner.

John: Well -- does she have any idea what she's missing?

Sharlene: I think she's having just as good a time as we are. Come on.

Tess: Hi!

Matt: Hey! All right!

Tess: I'm looking so forward to meeting your family.

Reuben: We had a slight plumbing problem.

Josie: Oh, I remember those pipes banging. I knew they were going to go one day.

Reuben: Well, Tess, this is my sister, Ronnie.

Tess: Hello. I've seen you at the hospital.

Ronnie: Nice to meet you.

Tess: Nice to meet you.

Reuben: And that's my little brother, Jesse, the boy wonder.

Tess: I've heard a lot about you.

Jesse: Hi.

Reuben: And this is Zack. He follows Ronnie around like a little lost puppy, so we just tolerate him.

Zack: We're all so fond of Reuben. Hi. Oh, sorry. Nice to meet you.

Tess: Nice to meet you.

Reuben: Look, why donít we just blow this place and go out and get some pizza, huh?

Tess: Ok, but we have to wait for your mother to get here.

Reuben: My mother?

Tess: Isnít she coming?

Reuben: No, she couldn't make it --

Jesse: Well, he didnít invite her.

Tess: But I thought I told you I wanted to meet your whole family.

Ronnie: Reuben and mama are kind of like --

Zack: Two pieces of flint.

Jesse: Oil and water.

Tess: You canít even have dinner together?

Jesse: Reuben doesn't understand mama. She's really a wonderful person. She is.

Reuben: Yeah, she's too wonderful. She thinks the answer to everything is just praising the lord and turning the other cheek.

Jesse: And what's wrong with that?

Reuben: Nothing, if you got everything you want.

Josie: You know -- why donít we just -- we can stay here. Why donít we stay here?

Matt: Yeah, listen, I'll -- I'll help wipe up the table here and we can dry this.

Ronnie: Yeah, and I brought a ton of food.

Tess: Yeah, let's stay here.

Reuben: Great.

Matt: Hey, ok!

Ronnie: Look, I'll just put everything out. Everybody, help yourselves.

Tess: All right, I'll help you.

Matt: Here, I'll take this over.

Zack: All right.

Matt: You grab the other one.

[Knock on door]

Reuben: That must be the landlady.

Zack: Well, tell her to get some new pipes.

Jesse: Yeah.

Reuben: Are you kidding? Last time she bought something new was, like, 1942.

Mrs. Lawrence: Reuben, aren't you going to invite me in?

Reuben: Mama? (Whistling)

Mrs. Lawrence: I haven't seen you in so long, I was worried. I made one of my pot roasts. I thought maybe you could warm it up if you were -- I didnít make enough!

Reuben: Mama, we were just -- we were just getting together. It ain't no big deal.

Mrs. Lawrence: Veronica? Jesse?

Ronnie: Hi, mama.

Mrs. Lawrence: Zack?

Zack: Mrs. Lawrence.

Jesse: You remember Matt and Josie, donít you, mama?

Mrs. Lawrence: Of course.

Josie: Hi.

Matt: Hello, Mrs. Lawrence.

Ronnie: Reuben just got us together at the spur of the moment, mama.

Mrs. Lawrence: "Spur of the moment" -- that's why he borrowed my good tablecloth?

Ronnie: He wanted us to meet Tess.

Tess: And I was so hoping to have a chance to meet you, Mrs. Lawrence.

Josie: Reuben and I met Tess while we were in New York.

Mrs. Lawrence: Oh, when Reuben ran away?

Reuben: Yeah, mama, that's right. It didnít take you long to figure that out, now, did it?

Jesse: Tess is living in Bay City now, though, mama.

Ronnie: Yes, she's an administrative intern at the hospital where I work. Isnít that great?

Mrs. Lawrence: Are you going out with my son?

Reuben: Oh, you would just love that, right? A lady like Tess and -- and a nothing like me, right, mama?

Ronnie: Come on, mama. There's plenty. Two different kinds of quiche, a nice big salad, French bread. Please stay?

Tess: I'll make you a plate.

Mrs. Lawrence: Are you from New York, Ms. --

Tess: Oh, please, call me Tess. Actually, I'm from Baltimore. Well, at least, that's where I grew up, but my parents live in New York now.

Mrs. Lawrence: Well, they must be pleased about your success.

Tess: Well, I think my father's a little disappointed in me. He wanted me to go into banking.

Mrs. Lawrence: He did? Why?

Reuben: Oh, wait till she hears this one.

Jesse: Will you give her a chance?

Mrs. Lawrence: President of the bank?

Tess: Yeah.

Mrs. Lawrence: And your mother?

Tess: Well, she used to be a financial analyst, but she quit to raise her family.

Mrs. Lawrence: Oh, I used to work in a bank, too. Chicago Federal.

Reuben: Oh, here we go, here we go.

Tess: I think my father was there for a while. But it was a long time ago.

Mrs. Lawrence: I worked there for 27 years.

Tess: Really? He must know you, then.

Reuben: Mama, do we really have to talk about all this?

Mrs. Lawrence: I'm not ashamed to have swept floors or cleaned offices. And it wouldnít hurt you to do an honest day's work.

Reuben: Well, you're just as supportive as ever, huh, mama?

Mrs. Lawrence: You know, I just remembered, I have to get up early tomorrow. I'd better go. It was nice to meet you. Enjoy the party.

Ronnie: Mama --

Reuben: She's always been like that -- always.

Jesse: Well, what are you waiting for?

["The gambler" plays]

Cass: Dealer opens with 20.

Frankie: 20?

Cass: What's the matter? Too rich for your blood? A fool and her money. Ok, it's just you and me, baby. What's it going to be?

Frankie: Shut up and give me three.

Cass: Three cards, huh?

Frankie: Mm-hmm.

Cass: One, two, three.

Frankie: Thank you.

Cass: Uno, dos, tres. And the dealer takes -- do you mind?

Man: Just looking out for the little lady, making sure you donít cheat.

Frankie: Well, thank you very much. I need all the help I can get.

Cass: Oh, please, give me a break. Dealer takes two.

Frankie: Oh, stop smiling, will you?

Cass: Ok. I'll try. Is this better?

Frankie: 50?

Cass: Yeah.

Frankie: Well, that'll leave me only --

Cass: You wanted to stay in, right?

Frankie: I'll see you 50. And I'll raise you -- 20.

Cass: Oh, come on, give it --

Frankie: Oh, all right, I'll raise you --

Cass: Kick it all in there. What was that?

Frankie: 40.

Cass: 40?

Frankie: Yeah.

Cass: Ok. I'll see your 40, and I hope you have a good hand, because I'm going to raise you -- two more hundred.

Frankie: Cass, I donít have any more money.

Cass: Yeah, but you got something else.

Frankie: Oh, Cass, come on. I won those tickets fair and square.

Cass: St. Martin, Jamaica come on, let me take ya.

Frankie: All right, all right.

Cass: What do you got?

[Man whistles]

Frankie: Four nines.

Cass: That's a pretty fair hand there, Frankie.

Frankie: Oh, well, thank you very much, Cass.

Cass: Yeah. Unfortunately for you, a straight flush still beats four of a kind! Yes! Yes!

Frankie: Oh, shut up.

Cass: Thank you, everybody. You've really been -- hey, man --

Man: Fortune just ended, smart guy!

Cass: Buzz off, pal!

Man: A straight flush. Come on, you had that up your sleeve.

Frankie: No, no -- Igor, sweetheart, as much as I hate to admit it, the jerk beat me square and fair, ok?

Cass: What, are you kinky for redheads or something?

Man: You just watch it.

Cass: Sorry about that, Frankie.

Frankie: Oh, it's ok, Winthrop. Just think, a couple of minutes ago I was on my way to the Caribbean.

Cass: Yeah.

Man: Winthrop? You got a sister?

Cass: Yeah, that's right.

Man: Her name's Stacey?

Cass: Yeah. How did you know that?

Man: I saw it in the newspaper or something.

Cass: Well, I'll tell her you were asking for her.

Man: Yeah. I want to leave a message for Stacey Winthrop. Tell her -- tell her I think I'll wait and talk to her in person, face to face.

Donna: Aren't you cold?

Jake: No.

Donna: Well, you're dripping all over the place.

Jake: I get the oddest feeling that you donít want me here, you want to get rid of me.

Donna: Jake, would you please extend me the courtesy of putting on your clothes?

Jake: Ok, Donna, whatever you want.

Jake: Donna?

Donna: What?

Jake: While you're there, would you do me a favor?

Donna: Yeah.

Jake: Can you open that bank statement and see if there's been a large deposit?

Donna: Sure.

Jake: You see, I went to get -- to get some cash from the money machine, and I just happened to notice that my balance had gone from a few hundred bucks to over 20,000.

Donna: Ok. You know, that happens. A lot of times banks make errors like that. It's constantly happening with me and Michael.

Jake: Just check, will you?

Donna: Yeah, ok. I canít find a bank statement. There's -- there's not one here.

Jake: Well, that's odd. It was right there on the table a minute ago.

Donna: Well, it's not here now. Hmm. I just want to get something.

Jake: Give it to me, Donna.

Donna: Why should I give you my purse?

Jake: Donna, this is your moment of truth.

Donna: Oh, Jake, donít be so melodramatic.

Jake: What do you mean? We're talking about $25,000. But then again, you know there's a deposit like that on the bank statement, donít you?

Donna: I most certainly do not.

Jake: You know there's a deposit, Donna, because you put it there. What were you trying to do, set me up, hmm?

Reuben: I'm sorry.

Mrs. Lawrence: Hmm. And I'm sorry I told your friend I was a cleaning woman.

Reuben: Mama, do you think that's why I get mad?

Mrs. Lawrence: I donít know why you do a lot of things, Reuben.

Reuben: Mama, it's just when you say things, like how you used to scrub floors while her father used to be the vice president. Mama, I feel like -- I feel like you think you're better than Tess is because she was born with money or maybe you're better than me sometimes because I want things.

Mrs. Lawrence: I donít think I'm better than anybody.

Reuben: Mama, why donít you get mad at me?

Mrs. Lawrence: I donít understand.

Reuben: When I screw up, Mom, you donít get mad. You just give me -- you just give me that look.

Mrs. Lawrence: Well, what look?

Reuben: The disappointed look, Mom. The hurt look. Like those pictures I used to see of Jesus when I was a kid in Sunday school. I feel sometimes like -- like you think I'm going to fail you again.

Mrs. Lawrence: Do I do that?

Reuben: Yes, Mom, you do. You do that.

Mrs. Lawrence: All right. I'll get angry if that's what you want. Why didnít you invite me tonight?

Reuben: Because I didnít want you to be there.

Mrs. Lawrence: Your own mother?

Reuben: Mom, Tess means a lot to me, ok? I didnít want her to see you giving me that look.

Mrs. Lawrence: You know, you were always your father's favorite. He used to say even when you were just a little thing, "look at Reuben. He has so much pride." He -- it just breaks my heart. I never meant to take your pride from you, son. And if I did, I'm sorry.

Reuben: Well, I'm sorry, too.

Mrs. Lawrence: I hope this girl makes you happy, happier than I have.

Reuben: Well, forget about that now. The jerk builds himself up by tearing his own mother down.

Mrs. Lawrence: Well, maybe he had to do that to make his mother see the light.

[Mrs. Lawrence laughs]

Reuben: Where are you going?

Mrs. Lawrence: I donít know about you, but I'm going to a party.

[Music plays]

Cass: What's wrong?

Frankie: You want to play some pool?

Cass: No, no, no. Something's bothering you. And it's not Lucas and it's not what happened to Catherine. What is it? Does it have to do with Caroline?

Frankie: No. It's me.

Cass: You?

Frankie: Yeah, there are a few things you ought to know about me.

Cass: Ok.

Frankie: But not here. Let's go someplace else, ok?

Cass: Jeez, it sounds serious.

Frankie: It is.

Cass: Ok, let's go.

Donna: Jake, you've obviously lost your mind. Why on earth would I want to put any money into your -- give me that.

Jake: Uh.

Donna: Jake, would you give me that back? Jake --

Jake: Here it is!

Donna: Let me have my purse!

Jake: The bank statement!

Donna: Jake!

Jake: And look -- $25,000, and, Donna, it was deposited the day after the very same amount of money was stolen from this loft.

Donna: I donít know what you're talking about.

Jake: Now, is that a coincidence, or what?

Donna: I donít know what you're talking about. I donít know what you're talking about, Jake.

Jake: What was the ultimate plan, Donna? Hmm?

Donna: You -- you've --

Jake: You going to try to frame me for embezzling or something?

Donna: You -- you've misunderstood this whole thing.

Jake: I want to know the truth, Donna.

Donna: Jake, you've -- you've just mis-- you've misunderstood the --

Jake: Ah. Here we go.

Donna: Jake!

Jake: I want to know --

Donna: Ow -- Jake, get off!

Jake: Now.

Donna: Get off of me! Jake, get off of me!

Jake: Here we go.

Donna: Jake! Jake! All right, all right! All right, all right, all right! All right, all right, I'll -- all right.

Jake: You did it.

Donna: Jake --

Jake: Donna, you stole your own money and then you deposited it in my bank account.

Donna: I wasn't going to have you arrested, Jake. I wasnít.

Jake: Oh -- what were you going to do, then?

Donna: Ow. I -- I was just going to teach you a lesson. I canít breathe. Just teach you a lesson -- that's all. I promise, Jake.

Jake: You were going to teach me a lesson?

Donna: Yes, I swear.

Jake: That's great, I like that.

Donna: I swear.

Jake: Come on.

Donna: Oh. Oh, gosh. What?

Jake: Up.

Donna: Jake, put me down. Jake, donít --

Jake: Donna?

Donna: Jake, put me down.

Jake: Shh -- Donna? Donna?

Donna: Jake, put me down.

Jake: I'm not going to do anything dirty.

Donna: Please, just put me down.

Jake: As a matter of fact --

Donna: Jake?

Jake: This is going to be on the contrary.

Donna: Put me down.

Jake, what are you doing? Jake! Help! Help! Help! I'm being attacked! Help! - (Calling cat) - (meows)

[Music plays]

John: That was an excellent dinner.

Sharlene: Mmm. I'm going to have to stop cooking for you, though. You're not going to fit in your tuxedo for the wedding.

John: What tuxedo? I'm going to wear sweats.

Sharlene: Oh, stop it.

John: I forgot to ask you about your shopping expedition. How'd it go? Did you find a dress?

Sharlene: Hmm. Well, shopping with Donna -- hmm.

John: Ah, something else, isnít it?

Sharlene: Mm-hmm. You know, she doesn't even ask the price on things. She just points and says, "I'll take it."

John: That's Donnaís way of being nice, I think.

Sharlene: Well, it was mainly me. It wasn't her. I just kept looking at myself in those fairy-tale dresses. I guess I just -- I still donít think it's real.

John: You'll find something.

Sharlene: And then they have the dresses that are obviously for a second wedding.

John: Oh.

Sharlene: Those are nice.

John: Beige?

Sharlene: Mm-hmm.

John: Mm-hmm.

Sharlene: Beige. Yeah, they make you look like you're happy, but not as happy as you would be if you hadn't messed up the first time, and that's a little too real.

John: Well, I did a little shopping myself.

Sharlene: When?

John: When I was supposed to be studying.

Sharlene: Well, you're bad.

John: Yes, I know, I know. But I was walking down the street past this jewelry store and I looked in the window, and I know you're supposed to pick this stuff out yourself, but I saw these and I just walked inside and I said, "I'll take that." I hope you donít mind.

Sharlene: No, wait a second. These aren't -- this isnít one of those little diamond pinky rings, because I donít -- I hate those on men.

John: Donít -- donít hurt my feelings.

Sharlene: Come on. Oh, John.

John: Now, I'll -- I'll buy you one of those fancy ones with all the diamonds and stuff on it if you want. But you're going to have to wear this one, too, because this isnít the kind of a ring that you wear to impress people. This is the kind of a ring that you wear if you intend to be married for a very, very long time.

Sharlene: And I do. And I donít want any other ring.

John: Well, that's good, because I engraved the date on the inside.

Sharlene: Oh! Less than a month. Oh.

John: It's going to happen, isnít it? We'll be Mr. and Mrs. Hudson.

Sharlene: What -- no, wait a second. Have you forgotten how you spent your day? It's Dr. and Mrs. Hudson. Wait -- doctor --

Both: And Mrs. Hudson.

Sharlene: Yeah. Forever.

Mrs. Lawrence: I'm so glad to meet you. I think you're going to be very good for my son.

Tess: Thank you.

Reuben: Jesse, will you get that woman out of here before she starts talking about how many grandkids she wants?

Jesse: Right. I'll go with you guys. I got some studying to do.

Ronnie: Ok.

Reuben: Mama, I'm really glad that you was here tonight.

Mrs. Lawrence: I hope I donít have to come and find you again.

Reuben: Ok, ok, mama.

Ronnie: Good night, everybody.

Tess: Good night.

Zack: Look, it was very nice meeting you.

Tess: And, you, too.

Zack: And I will see you tomorrow, buddy.

Reuben: You got it, boss.

Zack: All right.

Tess: Hey.

Jesse: Take it easy. Good night.

Josie: Good night, Jesse.

Jesse: My man.

Reuben: Yeah.

Jesse: Yeah.

Tess: Bye.

Reuben: Ugh. Well, you met them. That's my family.

Josie: I think that we might -- let's go back to the farm. Maybe Johnís still there.

Matt: Yeah. I want to congratulate the new doctor.

Reuben: You guys are leaving?

Matt: Yeah. Listen, I had a great time.

Josie: We did. We had a great time. And, hey, I hope I see you again soon.

Tess: I certainly hope so.

Matt: Great party there, buddy.

Josie: So official.

Reuben: Yeah, right.

Matt: It was.

Josie: Reuben, it wasn't that bad.

Reuben: Thanks.

Josie: Donít be a stranger.

Tess: Bye.

Reuben: Ugh. So what do you think? As you can see, they all think the world of me.

Tess: You know what I think?

Reuben: What?

Tess: I think you got a real big attitude problem.

Reuben: What are you talking about?

Tess: Your family's great, and they love you a lot.

Reuben: Oh, come on.

Tess: You're just having a hard time seeing it.

Reuben: They canít wait for me to screw up so they can say "I told you so."

Tess: Reuben, the only person in this room tonight who really believes Reuben Lawrence is going to screw up is you.

Cass: And what you have to say is about you, right?

Frankie: Yeah.

Cass: Why are you telling me now?

Frankie: Because I have this uneasy feeling that you're going to find out anyway and I would rather you heard it from me.

Cass: Fair enough.

Frankie: The -- when I first got my P.I.'s license, the job I had --

Cass: In the shopping mall?

Frankie: Yeah. The guy I worked for, he provided a little service that I didnít know much about when I took the job, but I needed the money, so I helped him out.

Cass: I see. What kind of service?

Frankie: I was hired to set guys up.

Cass: Frankie, listen --

Frankie: Look, Cass, I want to tell you this. I would -- I would meet a guy in a bar and get him to take me back to a hotel room, and a photographer would be hiding in there. Well, you get the picture.

Cass: Oh, yeah.

Frankie: But so did his wife and all the grounds she needed.

Cass: Frankie, I think there's something that I should definitely --

Frankie: But, look, the wild thing is about it, Cass, is at the time I didnít even see anything wrong with it. You know, it's not like I was sleeping with these clowns or anything. I would just take off a few clothes, hop into bed, the flash bulbs would go off, and that'd be it, you know? And, of course, the guys had a few choice words for me once they figured out that I was in on it, but I figured they had it coming to them, you know? Their wives wouldnít be trying to dump them if they hadn't been messing around, and -- see, it's why I'm sure that Lucas isnít onto me -- because like you said tonight, I'm a great little hustler, boy. I -- I'm an expert at setting a man up. And it didnít hit me until later on that I was probably hurting people, but some of these clowns were probably just poor, unsuspecting guys who were trying to keep their marriages together. Well, that's it. You can leave now. I'm done talking.

Cass: I'm not leaving.

Frankie: You're not? You're not shocked?

Cass: I wasn't even shocked the first time I heard it.

Frankie: The first time --

[Cass laughs]

Cass: Yeah.

Frankie: You mean you already knew?

Cass: I'm not a bad detective myself, you know.

Frankie: But you already knew?

Cass: Sure.

Frankie: I mean, you didnít find out from --

Cass: From whom?

Frankie: Never mind.

Cass: I ran a background check on you before I hired you.

Frankie: So you -- oh. Ah, boy, I -- you already knew all this time --

Cass: Yeah. Already knew.

Frankie: Why didnít you say something, Cass?

Cass: Some day when we have about a million hours I'll tell you about my life. And I didnít even need the money.

Frankie: Oh, come on, Cass. Donít tell me you never --

Cass: Frankie --

Frankie: Oh. I think you're going to kiss me.

Donna: Oh. Oh.

Jake: If you want to dry off --

Donna: Donít!

Jake: There's a towel.

Donna: Donít touch me! You're an animal! Oh.

Jake: Your earrings are dripping.

Donna: Oh! Jake! This was a $2,000 suit, and it's ruined!

Jake: Well, I'm glad it's ruined. Nobody should pay $2,000 for a suit when people are starving.

Donna: Oh.

Jake: It's obscene.

Donna: Shut up!

Jake: And you deserved a lot worse than that shower. I told you not to play games with me, Donna.

Donna: Oh, no! You're the one who blackmailed me into doing this ridiculous project in the first place!

Jake: Blackmailed you? I made you a double winner! First, I said I'd stay away from Vicky, then I made you a partner in the hottest video business this side of New York!

Donna: Just spare me the sales pitch because it's over! It's all over!

Jake: Why?

Donna: Well, obviously we're not going to be partners anymore, Jake.

Jake: Au contraire, Donna. I think we're just beginning to understand each other.

[Jake laughs]

Donna: Ugh!

[Music plays]

Sharlene: Ooh.

John: It's nice.

Sharlene: Ok.

Ooh. Ooh. Oh, my God.

John: What?

Sharlene: You're right. This is really going to happen.

John: Well, donít look so happy.

Sharlene: Well, John, I donít have a wedding dress. I donít have the invitations sent out. I have no idea how I'm going to feed all these people.

John: Well, what do you think if we didnít do any of that stuff?

Sharlene: What?

John: Maybe we're just not big wedding types. Maybe we ought to just jump in the old truck and run down and see the justice of the peace.

Sharlene: John Hudson, are you suggesting that we elope?

John: Hmm --

Sharlene: Hmm --

Matt: Down, down, down, down this way, my love.

Josie: Hello!

Sharlene: Hi, honey.

John: Hey.

Sharlene: Hi.

Josie: How are you?

Sharlene: Fine.

John: How was Reuben?

Matt: Oh, fine. Do you want us to wait outside?

Sharlene: No, no, donít be silly. Come in. You know what this man just suggested? He suggested that we elope.

Josie: John?

John: Well, you donít have to tell them everything.

Sharlene: Well, just because I panicked for a minute about the arrangements does not mean that I donít want to stand up in front of all of our friends with my daughter beside me --

Josie: Oh.

Sharlene: And just tell the whole world that I promised to love John Hudson until the day I die, and it's ok, Matt, the mushy part's over. Excuse me. I am going to throw you the best wedding, since it is your only one, that this burg has ever seen. Ok?

Frankie: This is crazy.

Cass: I know it is.

Frankie: I thought that you said --

Cass: Mm-hmm.

Frankie: We weren't going to --

Cass: Uh-uh.

Frankie: We were going to stay away from each other.

Cass: Yeah, well, that decision may have been a little hasty.

Frankie: Hmm.

Cass: You know --

Frankie: Hmm?

Cass: It would be so easy to pick you up and carry you over to that obnoxious red bed over there.

Frankie: Well, easy, yes.

Cass: But we'd wake up tomorrow and we would probably wish it hadn't been so easy.

Frankie: Hmm. Probably.

Cass: So, I should probably go home.

Frankie: Probably.

Cass: You're a little too agreeable all of a sudden.

Frankie: Hmm.

Cass: I donít believe this.

Frankie: What?

Cass: I donít want to go home.

Frankie: You donít?

Cass: What I mean is every woman that I've been with since I broke up with Nicole -- after the --

Frankie: Coffee.

Cass: Coffee?

Frankie: Well, you donít smoke.

Cass: Oh, right -- coffee. I've been looking for a way to get out of there. I give it 15 or 20 minutes so that I'm not unduly insensitive, but I'm looking. But not tonight.

Frankie: Oh?

Cass: No.

Frankie: Well, that's because it's your birthday and nobody wants to be alone on their birthday.

Cass: Yeah, right, Frankie. That's got to be the answer. So can I stick around here for a while?

Frankie: Hmm -- sure. I didnít really want to be alone anyway. So, what do you want to do?

Cass: You wouldnít happen to be up for a little more poker, would you?

Frankie: A rematch. Ooh, I would be delighted.

Cass: Yeah?

Frankie: Yes.

Cass: You sucker? Nickel, dime, quarter?

Frankie: Oh, ok.

Cass: Ok. Get your money out.

Frankie: Oh, ok. Listen, Winthrop?

Cass: What?

Frankie: I warn you -- I do not lose twice in one night.

Cass: Is that right?

Frankie: That's right.

Cass: Well, there's always a first time.

Frankie: Ah, in your dreams.

Cass: Here, I'll put a nickel in for you.

Frankie: Thank you.

Cass: You owe me a nickel.

Frankie: Such a generous soul. What?

Cass: Something's happening here, isnít it?

Frankie: Shut up and deal, Winthrop.

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