[an error occurred while processing this directive] AW Transcript Friday 7/22/05 [an error occurred while processing this directive]
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Another World Transcript Friday 7/22/05

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Derek: Just let it happen.

Derek: See? Losing control doesn't have to be so bad.

Stacey: Nothing seems that bad right now.

Derek: Everything's going to be all right. The sky didnít fall down. The stars are still up there.

Stacey: This is right, isnít it?

Derek: If you feel something, how can it be wrong?

Amanda: I'll take this off.

Sam: Amanda? Amanda? Amanda, wait a minute.

Amanda: What?

Sam: Just -- there's something going on here.

Amanda: I know. So why donít you just come back --

Sam: Just hold it, ok?

Amanda: What's the matter? You have a headache?

Sam: No. I just have the feeling that this isnít about me.

Rachel: I donít know how I'm supposed to do this without you. How am I supposed to keep it all together? I know I'm supposed to go on without you -- you didnít give me any choice. I'm trying. I get this feeling that you want something from me. I mean, why did you send that? What does that mean? How am I supposed to know if you donít tell me? If you could just tell me.

Sam: Amanda.

Amanda: Look, I'm going to go check up on Alli, ok?

Sam: Donít do that. We need to sit here and talk about things.

Amanda: I donít want to talk. I talk all the time.

Sam: Look, Amanda --

Amanda: I donít feel like it, all right? You just threw cold water in my face.

Sam: Is that it or did I mess up your schedule?

Amanda: I donít believe you just said that.

Sam: It seems to me that Alli and I have to catch you on the run. You see us when you have time.

Amanda: You have no idea what I do for you and Alli.

Sam: Saving Cory from Iris -- is that supposed to be for me and Alli?

Amanda: That wasn't what I meant.

Sam: Good, because I've seen you in action over there. That's for you. You love that stuff.

Amanda: Look, this may be hard for you to believe, but when I think of me, I think of you and Alli. You are a part of me.

Sam: Ok. Fine. Maybe this part of you doesn't like the new regime. Maybe I liked it better when we worked at our marriage as hard as we worked -- as hard as we worked on our careers, when we had our own home, when we brought up our own child together.

Amanda: But those days ended when my father died.

Sam: Why?

Amanda: Iris is trying to take over this company!

Sam: Look, I understand that. But sometimes I wonder --

Amanda: What?

Sam: Whether or not Iris is the perfect excuse for you to be where you want to be anyway.

John: You never did tell me much about what happened with Josie.

Sharlene: She wouldnít talk to me.

John: She wouldnít?

Sharlene: No. God, how could she? It was always -- there was Russ, there was Matt. There was Russ' daughter, Olivia, other daughter.

John: So what are you going to do -- just wait till she comes home to talk?

Sharlene: Well, I -- I'm hoping she will. The smoke hadn't cleared when I left. John, I'm afraid. I'm afraid that Josie will decide that she hates me because I lied to her and then she'll turn to Russ and he will get what he has been looking for all these years -- a chance to get back at me by taking my child.

John: Sounds pretty grim.

Sharlene: It is pretty grim. He's going to give her money. He's going to give her cars, trips to Europe. How do I compete with that?

John: By giving her something real.

Sharlene: What?

John: Two people who love her.

Sharlene: You and me?

John: Did it ever occur to you that I love Josie, too?

Jamie: Mom.

Rachel: Hi.

Jamie: Are you ok?

Rachel: Of course I am. Why wouldnít I be?

Jamie: Well, it's your anniversary and --

Rachel: I know that.

Jamie: I thought you might want to talk.

Rachel: I do, about you.

Jamie: About me?

Rachel: Yep. I've been thinking you need an attorney.

Jamie: I have an attorney.

Rachel: I know that, but you need an expert in custody matters. Stacey would agree with me.

Jamie: Mom --

Rachel: Vicky is going to have a whole battery of attorneys. I donít want you to lose this case just because you donít have enough money.

Jamie: Listen, I have a meeting set up with Stacey and I'll mention bringing someone else in. And if I need some money, I'll let you know.

Rachel: Yeah, well, now you donít have to let me know. The check will be here. You can come get it whenever you need it.

Jamie: Thank you.

Rachel: You're welcome.

Jamie: You know, I finally got Steven to sleep and I think he's -- he's really getting used to it here.

Rachel: Good. Have you had some dinner? I'll go down and get --

Jamie: Mom. It's your anniversary.

Rachel: I know it is.

Jamie: Donít tell me this isnít hard for you. I know you're missing Mac.

Rachel: I miss him every day.

Jamie: Are you sure you donít want to talk?

Rachel: I am talking. Gosh, what do you all want from me? I'm sorry. I didnít mean that. I'm not angry with you.

Jamie: You're probably angry with him.

Rachel: Yeah. Pretty useless, isnít it?

Jamie: Not if it helps you get better.

Rachel: It's not going to get any better -- he's not going to come back. We're never going to hear his voice around here or see him cannonball into the swimming pool or hear him make his long-winded speeches on special occasions. Never going to hear him call -- call my name again. It's over, ok?

Jamie: Doesn't mean you canít talk about it.

Rachel: What's there to talk about? He was the center of my life and he's gone. Sometimes I wish I had never even met him.

Jamie: Now, you know you donít mean that.

Rachel: I wouldnít be going through this, would I?

Jamie: You never would've known that kind of love, either.

Rachel: Whoever said it's better to have loved and lost didnít know much about losing.

Jamie: I've never heard you talk like this before.

Rachel: I've never felt like this before. It's a mistake to make somebody the center of your life. You're going to regret it one way or the other.

Jamie: Mom --

Rachel: I have to take a walk.

Amanda: Ok, so I prefer to work at Cory Publishing, as opposed to staying home and baking my own bread. So bring out the tar and feathers.

Sam: Do you really think that's what I want?

Amanda: I donít know what you want!

Sam: Amanda -- you should hear yourself sometimes. Do you know how hard you sound?

Amanda: Well, you can blame Iris for that.

Sam: No, no, I canít. That's the choice you made, and I really donít understand that.

Amanda: What I donít understand is why are you doing this to me?

Sam: Amanda, I'm not trying to do anything to you.

Amanda: My father died. Canít I have a little time to react? Can I be a little whacked out for a while? Why do I always have to be your perfect little Amanda?

Sam: You donít.

Amanda: Oh -- sure.

Sam: Amanda, where are you going?

Amanda: I donít know!

Sam: Amanda, please.

Amanda: Donít you think maybe I could use your support instead of your lecture? That's ok. You donít have to answer. I know I canít expect support from you, not anymore.

Sam: God.

Sharlene: I didnít know you felt that way about Josie.

John: I donít think I knew it myself until you left for New York without me. And when I found out that Russ was Josieís real father, I -- I was a little jealous, I guess.

Sharlene: I wish you were Josieís father.

John: You do?

Sharlene: Donít you know that? Donít you know I wish that I had made my child with someone I love the way I love you?

John: I'm sure that Russ will try to do his best with Josie.

Sharlene: I wanted you to be in New York with me. You know that, donít you?

John: I wanted to be in New York with you, too. I would like to have been there to help Josie get through this.

Sharlene: I didnít want to confuse her. I didnít want to say, "Jos, here is your father and here is the man I wish was your father."

John: Do you really wish that?

Sharlene: Russ is going to say, "Josie, you can have anything you want because of who I am." You would have told her she could be anything she wanted to be because of who she was.

John: Oh, I just think you're a little biased.

Sharlene: No, I'm not. You did the same thing for me.

John: You know, maybe we'd better get out of here and get some fresh air.

Sharlene: Why?

John: Because I think the longer we stay in here, the more likely that old M word will pop up.

Sharlene: It might.

[Romantic music plays]

Derek: You want to dance?

Stacey: I want to ask you something.

Derek: Ok.

Stacey: You decided tonight that you didnít want to see me. Why?

Derek: I kept bumping up against the differences between us.

Stacey: So you mean Courtney and this whole business with the thefts?

Derek: It's not over yet. She still thinks I did it.

Stacey: I donít. I never doubted you.

Derek: I know.

Stacey: Listen to me for a second. I donít want you to think that you canít trust me. I know we've got differences, and I know we've got some rocky times ahead of us. I do trust you, and I've trusted you right from the start.

Derek: I'm not very used to that.

Stacey: Maybe you could get used to it.

Derek: I'll try.

Singer: And you fill my life with laughter you can make it better ease my troubles that's what you do

Derek: I want you. I want to make love to you.

Singer: And it's yours and it's mine like the sun

Amanda: Where's Mom?

Jamie: Oh, she had to get out of here for a while.

Amanda: Why?

Jamie: She was pretty upset. She said some things that -- well, she just wasn't herself.

Amanda: I thought she was getting better.

Jamie: It's their anniversary today, Amanda, and I think it's getting to her.

Amanda: It's their anniversary. I didnít even remember.

Jamie: Well, you've had a lot on your mind.

Amanda: So have you. You didnít forget.

Jamie: Hey, wait a minute. Where are you going?

Amanda: To go find Mom.

Jamie: No, no, I think she really wanted to be alone.

Amanda: Jamie, I didnít even talk to her about this.

Jamie: Well, I think it's probably for the best. I wish I hadnít.

Amanda: I blew up at her tonight, too.

Jamie: You did? Why?

Amanda: Oh, I donít know. I'm blowing up at everybody lately.

Jamie: What happened?

Amanda: I just came from a fight with Sam upstairs.

Jamie: Oh. Well, sometimes it's good to clear the air.

Amanda: This wasn't intended to clear the air. This was intended to hurt.

Jamie: Yeah, looking at you right now, I can see that it did the job.

Amanda: I got my shots in, too.

Jamie: What'd you fight about?

Amanda: Me. Sam says that I'm -- hard. It's the term that he used.

Jamie: "Hard."

Amanda: Do you think that's true?

Jamie: Oh, we've both had to get a little tougher these past few weeks.

Amanda: That's what I told Sam, but he doesn't understand.

Jamie: Maybe it's because he knows there's something more.

Amanda: Like what?

Jamie: Look, it's really none of my business. I'm going to get something to eat.

Amanda: Jamie! Come on, you canít just say something like that and then walk away from me.

Jamie: Ok. Listen, donít you think part of the problem is Evan Bates?

Rachel: Six years ago today, Mac. Remember? We finally realized our love was going to be forever. Although I think maybe -- maybe I knew that the minute I saw you so many years ago. I'm sorry about what I said to Jamie. I was totally unprepared for what's happened. To have you leave me without a word, without telling me how I was supposed to go on or what I was supposed to tell the family, it's not right, Mac. We worked too hard at this love of ours. It's not right that you leave me without a word.

John: I like it down here.

Sharlene: Yeah, it's pretty quiet.

John: Peaceful, too.

Sharlene: You know, John, you were saying --

John: When I was having those nightmares --

Sharlene: In Vietnam, the ones in Vietnam?

John: Yeah, I used to come down here at night. I'd listen to the water, lapping up against the sides of the boats; it would always put the demons to rest for a while.

Sharlene: You donít have those nightmares anymore, do you?

John: Seems like such a long time ago. Although, it wasnít. Everything seemed so dark then.

Sharlene: Doesn't seem dark now, right?

John: No, I guess not.

John: What you thinking?

Sharlene: I'm not going to tell you.

John: Oh, ok. Well, you know, Sharlene, a funny thing about life is it just kind of goes on whether you want it to or not.

Sharlene: Yeah, and you know something, John? Sometimes you realize something, something that you have known for a long time, but you wouldnít admit.

John: And something always happens.

Sharlene: Or you meet someone and before you know it --

John: You're right back in the thick of it.

Sharlene: Again.

John: Yeah.

Sharlene: Hmm.

John: And here I thought it took so much guts to be alone.

John: Sharlene --

Sharlene: I canít believe it.

John: What?

Sharlene: What's Rachel Cory doing down here?

Stacey: Do you remember the last time we had candlelight? It was on the yacht.

Derek: In the boiler room.

Stacey: Mm-hmm. We had candlelight and finger sandwiches and champagne in the boiler room. What was I thinking about?

Derek: You kept coming down there.

Stacey: That's because I wanted to be with you.

Stacey: You tried to get rid of me then, too.

Derek: Oh, you had too much champagne. It would haven't been right.

Stacey: Oh, too easy, huh?

Derek: Wasn't easy getting rid of you. You really let me have it.

Stacey: Just donít do it again, ---- make decisions for both of us. I'd really hate that.

Derek: No more. Are you afraid now?

Stacey: No, I'm not afraid. A little nervous, maybe.

Derek: What's wrong? What did I do?

Stacey: You are incredibly sweet and very gentle.

Derek: You were about -- you're crying.

Stacey: I -- I just haven't felt like this in a long time. And it kind of snuck up on me. Derek, I haven't been with a man since my little girl died.

Derek: You haven't? I didnít know that.

Stacey: I just couldnít. Work I could manage and anger I could handle, but intimacy, just that kind of closeness, I couldn't --

Stacey: Look, I'm sorry. Tonight was beautiful, and I ruined the whole thing.

Derek: You didnít ruin anything. You didnít ruin anything at all.

Amanda: That was a cheap shot. You are the last person that I expected to get one of those.

Jamie: It's none of my business.

Amanda: The problem is that -- you're right.

Jamie: About Evan? Has he come on to you?

Amanda: No, no. He's been -- I'm attracted to him. I donít know how else to say it.

Jamie: Does Sam know about this?

Amanda: No.

Jamie: I thought that's maybe why you had the fight.

Amanda: No, Sam was upset because he thinks I'm spending too much time at Cory Publishing. He thinks I'm obsessed with Iris.

Jamie: And the truth is you've got the hots for Evan Bates.

Amanda: That's pretty crude.

Jamie: Well, what is it, then? Do you love him?

Amanda: No! I love Sam. And I told Evan that, too.

Jamie: How did he take it?

Amanda: He understands. We both understand the situation, but it doesn't make it any easier. Feelings donít just go away.

Jamie: Has anything happened?

Amanda: No. He kissed me.

Jamie: Listen to me, little sister. You're playing with fire.

Amanda: Look, I can handle it.

Jamie: Yes, that's what I said.

Amanda: Vicky.

Jamie: Even after everything that she's done, even when she's screaming her little head off, I still want her, and she knows it.

Amanda: What are you going to do?

Jamie: I'll tell you what I'm not going to do. I'm not going to give in to those feelings anymore. And you have a lot more to lose than I do.

Amanda: I'm not going to sleep with Evan.

Jamie: You shouldnít even be in the same room alone with the guy.

Amanda: Jamie --

Jamie: Listen, you say you love Sam and your baby.

Amanda: You know that I do.

Jamie: Then listen to me. You get a little needy one night, and that person's right there. And you do a little something you think doesn't matter, but I'm telling you it matters, and you can never take it back. And even if Sam forgives you, it's always going to be there.

Amanda: I know that.

Jamie: Honey, I'm not condemning you.

Amanda: I'm condemning myself.

Jamie: Oh, come on, donít now. I mean, just because you fall in love and get married doesn't mean you're no longer a human being. Just have to keep your guard up.

Amanda: I just feel so weird having this secret from Sam.

Jamie: First one?

Amanda: Yeah, first one.

Jamie: You've got a good marriage. And he's a good man.

Amanda: I know that.

Jamie: If you know that, then fight for it.

Amanda: Look, donít worry about Evan. I can handle it.

Jamie: I hope so. I really hope so.

Rachel: Hi.

John: Rachel.

Rachel: Did you see that?

Sharlene: What?

Rachel: The swan.

Sharlene: Swan? Where?

John: Are you sure? There are no swans down here.

Rachel: Yes, I saw it. It was a swan.

Sharlene: We were kind of surprised to see you down here.

Rachel: Oh. I was just taking a walk. I wanted to walk along the water tonight. Mac wrote me about walking along the water, how peaceful it was. You know that the time spent with someone you love is finite. Maybe you're supposed to understand that, but I donít think any of us really do. If we did, we probably wouldnít take the chance.

Sharlene: Are you glad you took the chance?

Rachel: I wasn't sure tonight.

Sharlene: You must miss him so much.

Rachel: I'll miss him every day for the rest of my life. But I wouldnít trade one moment of the time I spent with him for anything.

John: Listen, Rachel, my boat is right over here. Why donít you come back and have a cup of coffee?

Sharlene: Yeah, come on back with us.

Rachel: Oh, that's very kind of you, but I really ought to get home.

John: Well, I'd be more than happy to drive you if you donít feel --

Rachel: No, I -- I'm enjoying the walking. I feel better than I've felt in a long time.

John: Good.

Rachel: It was nice to see you both. You look very happy.

Sharlene: We do?

Rachel: Yes. Donít you know that?

Sharlene: Oh, I guess we -- I do.

Rachel: You two love each other, you know? In case you haven't noticed. Try not to waste a minute of it. Good night.

Stacey: Thanks.

Derek: You never told me about your little girl's father.

Stacey: Mark? He's a good guy. But if I had stayed with him, I would have had a definite kind of security and I never would have known my passion.

Derek: Passion? You think that stuff is for real?

Stacey: Do you?

Derek: Yeah. Well, maybe.

Stacey: I just knew that it was missing. You ever been in love?

Derek: I donít think I know what love is. I haven't had a lot of experience with it. There were women in my life, but --

Stacey: Hmm. Anybody serious?

Derek: When I start thinking about joint checking accounts and settling down, I go off like a rabbit.

Stacey: Hmm.

Derek: I wouldnít call that serious, no.

Stacey: Well, you almost ran away from me right after the trial.

Derek: But I didnít.

Stacey: No. Listen, I donít -- I donít feel much like being alone tonight.

Derek: You can stay here, if you want.

Stacey: You donít mind?

Derek: No. I'd like that very much.

Rachel: I -- what I said earlier --

Jamie: Forget it.

Rachel: I canít forget it. I was wrong.

Jamie: I know.

Rachel: You're not supposed to say that. I'm your mother. Everything I say is supposed to be gospel.

Jamie: Sorry.

Rachel: I love you very much, you know. I couldn't wish anything more for you than for you to find somebody someday that means as much to you as Mac meant to me.

Jamie: You're lucky, you know? >From where I sit, you're very lucky.

Rachel: I know. I think that's why maybe it's hard.

Jamie: Something happened since you left.

Rachel: What?

Jamie: I donít know. You seem -- different.

Rachel: Yeah, something did happen, something quite wonderful.

Amanda: Sam? Honey? Um -- look, I'm sorry about what I said before, ok? You've been great. Better than great. What I said about you not giving me support, that was really stupid. I know I haven't been the easiest person to live with lately. And I know it isnít very easy with me not being here very much. Look, I canít promise you that I am going to forget about Iris or forget that she's taking over my father's company. But I do know that I donít have to spend as much time away from you and Alli. I hope you know how much I love you. Because without -- without you, I have nothing.

Amanda: Sam?

Sam: You'd have Evan.

Amanda: What?

Sam: I went looking for you before to tell you that I'd been a little too hard on you. And as I was walking by the library, I heard your voice.

Amanda: Oh, no.

Sam: I know how you feel about Evan Bates.

John: You're awfully quiet.

Sharlene: Thinking about Rachel.

John: Yeah, me, too.

Sharlene: You know, for as long as I can remember, it was Rachel and Steve, then it was Rachel and Mac. And tonight when I looked at her, she looked so -- alone. Then I thought, "How is she ever going to make it through this?"

John: At least she knows what it was like to be with someone.

Sharlene: That's right.

John: She looked really happy to see us, donít you think?

Sharlene: Yeah, or she wouldnít have said what she said.

John: Well, there's something that I want to say to you.

Sharlene: Ok.

John: Sharlene, I -- I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I sure hope you feel the same way.

Sharlene: I do.

John: Good. Because that's what I was talking about before. See, in my book, that means marriage.

Sharlene: Well, now, it doesn't -- it doesn't have to mean --

John: Well, yes, it does. Sharlene, for us it does. It's the only way.

Sharlene: You're right.

John: You know, I used to think that people who got married were just kind of dead in the water. That was it. They used up all their options. Their whole life was mapped out before them -- same person, same life, same everything forever and ever, amen. But I -- I'm a little wiser now.

Sharlene: Me, too.

John: And marriage doesn't seem like an end anymore. It, uh -- it seems like a beginning. And it seems --

Sharlene: Like what Rachel was talking about.

John: Yeah. Taking a chance. I mean, people change, situations change, but a marriage that is strong enough and flexible enough to withstand that is really rare. I want to take that chance. I want to take that risk with you. Because I have this dream, this dream that I want to carry around with me and put it in my pocket and have it with me always for all of those bad days, and it has to do with someday me as an old man having a beautiful, old lady who's still there beside me. I want to have a whole life to look forward to of holding the same hand and smelling the same sweet hair. And looking up at the same stars with the same person. You know, I -- I never had that dream till I met you.

Sharlene: John -- John --

John: No, Sharlene, be quiet now, will you please? I'm trying to ask you to marry me.

Sharlene: Well, thank God.

John: "Thank God"? Does that mean a yes?

Sharlene: Oh, yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

John: Wow, do I love you. This turned out to be quite a night, hasn't it?

Sharlene: This turned out to be the best night of my life.

Amanda: Sam --

Sam: I thought you had better taste than that.

Amanda: Did you hear everything that I said to Jamie?

Sam: No, I left after the good part.

Amanda: Maybe you should've stuck around a little longer, because after I told him that I was attracted to Evan --

Sam: I canít believe that.

Amanda: I said that I was still very much in love with you. And I told that to Evan, too.

Sam: When?

Amanda: Today.

Sam: Well, that explains why you were so late tonight.

Amanda: Nothing ever happened between us. Donít you believe that?

Sam: It's a little hard, you know? I sat there and listened to you talk about how you were attracted to Evan Bates.

Amanda: Is that really so hard to believe?

Sam: Yes.

Amanda: What about Caroline?

Sam: What about Caroline?

Amanda: Since the two of you started working together, I've had to put up with her falling all over you. Are you going to tell me that you never had a reaction to that even once?

Sam: That's different.

Amanda: Why?

Sam: Caroline is attractive, yes, but there was never any question that anything would come of that.

Amanda: It's the same situation with Evan and me. He understands that, so do I. Sam, you just have to believe it. If you donít, it's just going to tear you apart. You see, your jealousy is going to hurt us more than -- more than anything I could ever feel for Evan.

Sam: You really told him that?

Amanda: Yes.

Sam: I wish I'd been there for that.

Amanda: Come on, Sam.

Sam: How am I supposed to just get this out of my mind?

Amanda: Well, I tried something earlier tonight and I got rejected.

Sam: Amanda, I donít want to talk about it, I donít want to hear his name.

Amanda: What name?

Derek: Stacey, do you remember when I told you that I was used to being alone?

Stacey: Mm-hmm.

Derek: I said that I was almost never lonely. All that changed tonight. You left here and I was never so lonely. I looked around and everything seemed strange. It was like I was in some place I'd never been before, and I didnít want to be there. If you hadn't have come back -- Stacey? Sleep. It's ok. Everything's ok.

Rachel: I went for a long walk and I wound up down at the marina.

Jamie: The marina?

Rachel: I ran into John and Sharlene.

Jamie: Why did you go down there?

Rachel: I just needed to walk. I'm glad I did, though.

Jamie: What happened?

Rachel: I keep thinking that he still wants something from me, something more.

Jamie: Mac?

Rachel: It's as though he's trying to tell me something or he wants me to do something. I know this sounds strange.

Jamie: No, not at all. Not when two people are as close as you and Mac, and the way he died.

Rachel: Things keep happening.

Jamie: What things?

Rachel: Well, the swan. I mean, he sent the swan after he was gone and that note that came with it. And then today was our anniversary, and he sent those flowers, and he sent a card with it.

Jamie: What?

Rachel: So do you see what I'm getting at?

Jamie: I'm not sure.

Rachel: Well, every time I -- I feel like it's time to go on, you know -- and I know I have to -- then every time something like this happens and I canít make any sense out of it.

Jamie: Well, Mom, these things can all be explained.

Rachel: I asked him to tell me.

Jamie: Oh.

Rachel: You see, I know I have to move on with my life, but I just canít seem to do it. These things happen and it just stops me, and -- and there's too many people who need me. I mean, you need me, Amanda, Matthew -- you all need me.

Jamie: Mom, you're doing just fine.

Rachel: I need him to tell me that. So, I went for a walk along the water -- the way he was when he was in Maine -- and that's when I saw it.

Jamie: What?

Rachel: A swan.

Jamie: Are -- are you sure?

Rachel: Mm-hmm. So I think he heard me. I think he heard me.

Jamie: What do you think he was trying to tell you?

Rachel: I'm still not sure about that. But I do think he heard me. And whatever it is that I'm supposed to do, I know I'll find out now.

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