[an error occurred while processing this directive] ATWT Transcript Thursday 8/5/10 [an error occurred while processing this directive]
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As The World Turns Transcript Thursday 8/5/10

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Provided By Eric
Proofread By Emma

Casey: Hey. Look, um, we've been dancing around it, ignoring like it's not even there and pretending like it doesn't exist, but it does, and we need to face it.

Alison: What -- what's it?

Casey: The new deep-dish pizza place in the mall. I -- I've seen your face when we went past the billboard, and it says, "I need deep-dish."

Alison: No. I think my face is showing more annoyance with the billboard.

Casey: No! Please, come -- come on. Be with me on this. Fine. Listen. Fine. I need deep-dish. Just come with me. Are you game? Please.

Alison: Are you asking me out on a date?

Casey: Yeah, yeah, I am. Sure.

Alison: Well, then, if that's the case, then yes.

Casey: Perfect, perfect. I will meet you out front, okay?

Alison: Oh, wait. No, no. I -- I didn't bring any street clothes, so I have to go home and shower first, especially if this is a date. So, why don't we both go home, change, and then I'll meet you at the restaurant?

Casey: Perfect. But don't take too long, 'cause I'm starving. Please.

Alison: You're always starving.

Casey: Yes, yes, yes. Hey, I thought you weren't working today.

Chris: Well, um, I'm not supposed to be, but here I am, huh? How pathetic is that?

Casey: What's wrong with you?

Chris: Well, Tom and Margo invited Katie, Jacob, and me up to the cabin this weekend. A little family time.

Casey: Wow. That sounds like a 48-hour double date to me.

Chris: Do not say that in front of Katie, okay?

Casey: What if she, like, accidentally -- oops -- trips, falls onto your bed during the bonding?

Chris: No, no, no, no, no, no, okay? There will be no "Bonding" this weekend. Katie already said no, so --

Casey: Really?

Chris: Mm-hmm.

Casey: Sounds like you're giving up.

Katie: Don't know why I'm being such a chicken! I mean, its Tom and Margo, right? They're family. Just the cabin. We go there every year. I think I've been there a couple times when Chris was there. It would be nice to get away for the weekend, right, get some fresh air? You could go on your first hike. We could have a bonfire. I'm sorry, Jacob. I just can't bring myself to say "Yes." I don't know what I'm so afraid of. It's a family thing, and, well, it could be something else if I wanted it to be. [Sighs] I just need someone to talk to about this. I mean, of course there's Uncle Henry, but I can't talk to him about it right now. He's too busy hearing voices to listen to me.

[Cell phone ringing]

Henry: I don't have time to talk right now.

Katie: I know you're angry with me, but I'm in a situation, and you're the only person who could possibly understand it.

Henry: I am not angry! [Sighs] Okay, I am, but that's not the reason I can't talk. I'm on a stakeout.

Katie: Did you just say a stakeout?

Henry: I don't have time to explain right now.

Katie: Well, Henry, are you with the police? Because you know you always get yourself into trouble when you act like Nancy Drew.

Henry: My gender issues are besides the point. I heard Barbara talking to be through Jacob's baby monitor, and I don't care if you don't want to believe me.

Katie: You have to admit it sounds a little crazy.

Henry: That doesn't mean it's not real. Barbara is in trouble, and she's reaching out to me for help, and I am not gonna let her down again. She is being held against her will, and I'm gonna find out who is responsible for that and bring her home, no matter what it takes.

[Knock on door]

Chris: I'm gonna keep this short and sweet. I'm gonna head over to Al's. I'm gonna pick up some food, then I'm going to the cabin. You can meet me at Al's and we can go to the cabin together, or -- or, uh, it will be your loss.

Paul: You know, if you see Eliza, I'm never gonna get you out of here. So come on, please. Can't I sweep my gorgeous wife off her feet just this once, please?

Emily: Twist my arm.

Paul: Okay.

Emily: [Gasps] [Laughs] Hi.

Gwen: Gee, Emily, how was your trip?

Emily: Uh, whirlwind, but I got all the interviews I needed. But it's nice to be home.

Will: How did she take the news?

Emily: What news?

Iris: I know what you're thinking, Babs, and you're wrong. That's a real family photo, not a cut-and-paste job.

Barbara: No. I don't believe you.

Iris: Yeah, well, who cares, you know? Because it is true. And oh, by the way, I'm living in the old family homestead now, yep, with the whole lot of them, just one big, happy family.

Barbara: No. Paul and Emily would never let you through the front door, even if you were being chased by a pack of rabid dogs!

Iris: Well, I guess you just don't know your kids that well, because they just rolled out the welcome mat to me not more than half an hour ago.

Barbara: That's impossible. Gwen hates you, and Will hates you more. And Paul and Emily -- they would dance on your grave. You've got nobody, Iris! And not only do you have no one that loves you, you don't even have anyone that can stand the sight of you, including your own children.

Iris: Well, that's just blood under the bridge, because with you gone, you know, those two angel grandchildren of yours -- well, they just need a grandmama's love. And so my Gwennie has forgiven me for everything. See, I have repented for all of my sins, and I made peace with my family, and now I just do nothing but good things.

Barbara: Then how can you justify keeping me locked up in this hellhole?

Iris: Strategy. But you don't have to stay here the whole time. See, all you have to do is just give me your passwords to your bank accounts, give me your money, and I'll be on the next flight to Tahiti.

Barbara: Really? They will find you and bring you back, and you will face charges.

Iris: No. There's no extradition law there. See, I checked it out. So if you want me gone, you're gonna have to pay me what I ask. Otherwise, I'm gonna stay in the pictures, and that's birthdays and Christmas and graduations and weddings. And you -- you're just gonna be nothing but a faded memory. Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm. That is a big no-no. And besides, I'm sure you have the image of this gorgeous family of mine in your brain by now.

Barbara: Okay, Iris. Let's say I give you my passwords and I give you all my money.

Iris: Yeah, let's say you do.

Barbara: What guarantee do I have that you're gonna let me out of here?

Iris: Life is just full of risks, Barbie.

Barbara: Okay, then, forget it, because I would rather die here than know that I've given you exactly what you wanted.

Iris: Fine. It's your funeral. Have fun with the clown. You two make a swell couple.

Barbara: I have a counteroffer!

Iris: I'm listening.

Barbara: Okay. Let's say I tell you where my checkbook is and you go get it, and you bring it back to me, and I write you a big, fat check for enough to keep you very happy in Tahiti or Trinidad or wherever you want to go for many years?

Iris: Why don't we say this? How about you tell me where the checkbook is and I write the big, fat check and sign it myself?

Barbara: Oh. You willing to risk a little forgery? Big check, big scrutiny.

Iris: We'll see.

Barbara: [Chuckles] Well, now it's your funeral. I can't believe that you would pass up an opportunity like this.

Iris: All right. Where's the checkbook? I already searched through your room.

Barbara: Well, you got to know where to look. You see, I have it in a little strongbox in my fireplace, up the flue, on a little shelf.

Iris: Ew! You expect me to reach inside of that thing?

Barbara: You want my checkbook, don't you?

Iris: [Sighs] Fine.

Barbara: [Sighs] I know, I know. But I -- it's all I've got.

Katie: Jacob, what am I gonna do? Do we go to Al's and meet Chris and just see what happens over the weekend? Or do we just stay home and stay home and do all our favorite things, like napping for you or -- I'll think of something.

[Cell phone rings]

Katie: Margo, hey, what's up? What?! I thought you and Tom took the day off tomorrow. Oh, yeah. Well, I understand. You can't argue with the judge. No, no, it's no problem. It's probably for the best anyway. Bye. Hey, I need a favor. It's a big one.

Chris: Oh. Is that, uh -- is that everything?

Waitress: It's practically two of everything on the menu. Whoever she is, I hope she plans on working up a major appetite.

Chris: Yeah, well -- looks like I'm gonna have a lot of leftovers. Thanks.

Katie: Hey. I thought you were gonna wait for me.

Chris: I was. I -- I mean I am.

Katie: Good. Let's do this.

Chris: Seriously? I mean, you really want to go? All right. Um, what about Jacob?

Katie: Oh. Alison's gonna be keeping him for a couple of days. Will you be okay with just me?

Chris: I think I can manage. Yeah. Let me grab your bag. All right.

Casey: Hey. Hey!

Alison: Hey.

Casey: I thought I was supposed to meet you at the restaurant.

Alison: Yeah. Change of plans.

Casey: Is that Jacob? Hey, Buddy. What are you doing with him? Is he your little wingman?

Alison: Yeah. Katie called and -- and asked if I could take him for the weekend so she and Chris could go up to your parents' cabin.

Casey: Okay.

Alison: What's so funny?

Casey: I -- I just -- I didn't think he had it in him.

Alison: To do what?

Casey: Katie didn't want to go at first, but I guess he talked her into it.

Alison: She didn't sound like she needed much persuading.

Casey: Well, that's probably because he listened to my very wise advice.

Alison: There it is. [Laughing] Well, we'll see.

Casey: What are you doing there?

Alison: What do you get? Well, we'll see how, uh, that goes. Anyway, so, obviously, I need to change our date.

Casey: No. No, wait. I will help you babysit.

Alison: Really? Are you sure?

Casey: Yes, definitely. It will be fun for us to have a rent-a-baby for a few days, right? Right?! Yes, look at that. He loves me, doesn't -- [Snorts]

Alison: Yes, you are right on his level.

Casey: Absolutely. This is -- this is gonna be a breeze.

[Alison laughs]

Emily: What the hell, Paul?! I'm gone for less than 24 hours, and you invite Iris Dumbrowski to live in our home? Why? W -- was Dracula busy at the blood bank, or was the bride of Frankenstein too busy having her hair done?!

Paul: Em --

Emily: Because those are the only two people I would rather have in this home than that lying, freeloading --

Will: Hey, you're talking about my wife's mom.

Emily: Oh. Oh, well, my condolences, really. At least we all know that you can lead a productive life, despite being raised by a she-wolf.

Gwen: Look, I don't disagree with you. I know exactly what kind of person my mom is.

Emily: Well, then, what is this about, Gwen? Revenge?

Gwen: No.

Emily: No. Well, then, why else would you sic this woman on us?

Paul: It's only for a couple of days.

Will: She knows she's got to get out of here when we go to Carbondale.

Emily: Yeah, if this place is still standing by then. This was your doing. You guilted Paul into this, and you let her. And you -- you didn't even stand up for us.

Paul: Breathe.

Will: Look, I know Iris is a handful, but we're out of options.

Emily: I'm sorry. Why -- why is her living situation your problem?

Gwen: Because she's my mom.

Emily: So?

Will: Let's face it. As mother-in-laws go, our mom is no bargain either. So if Gwen's willing to put up with our mom, I think we all can put up with Iris.

Paul: Will makes a good point.

Emily: No, he doesn't! She is not our problem. We shouldn't have to deal with either one of them. And you know what? In a perfect world, they would both disappear.

Henry: Should have worn the other bra. Ow, it's sawing me in half. I'm gonna adjust this thing, or I'm gonna end up unconscious in a pile of tiny toiletries.

Iris: Damn it, Barbara. I should have known you'd be playing games with me. Key, key, key. Where would I put the key? Yes. Hmm. [Sighs]

Henry: [Sniffs] Barbara.

Barbara: Do you think what Iris said is true, that no one's really missing me? I mean, I know that everybody has a really busy life, and Henry's a newlywed. I'd love to know how Viennaís still faking that pregnancy. And Paul has Emily. No comment. And Will has Gwen and Hallie and school and a new life in Carbondale, and -- and everyone's just so busy. And Iris can just be so overwhelming. I don't know. Maybe -- maybe I just slipped their mind. I've got to find a way. I've got to find a way to let people know what she's up to, though.

[Baby crying]

Casey: Please, Jacob. Listen, if you're trying to torture me, it is working. 'Cause I -- I will tell you anything you want to know. You want my P.I.N. number? All you got to do is ask.

Alison: No, no, no. Don't bother, Jacob. I know how much he makes.

Casey: Funny! Funny. Listen. Okay, Kiddo, hey, I'm going to introduce you into a cultural phenomenon known as the knock-knock joke. But you got to participate, okay? But you can't participate if you're wailing your head off like that, so time-out, okay?!

Alison: All right, you can't -- you can't talk a baby out of a tantrum. You have to show love and affection, let him know that he's safe.

Casey: Yes, and how do I do that?

Alison: Trial and error?

Casey: Hey, Jacob. Look, you're probably a little worried 'cause your mom's gone. But listen, she'll be back, I promise, okay? She just needed a little me time. So while she's away, Ali and I are gonna take care of you. Anything you want you can have, okay? Is that good? Good. Look. You know, we're not gonna let anything bad happen to you, I promise!

[Crying stops]

Alison: Oh, my God. I think you did it. I think he --

[Baby crying]

Casey: Yeah. I think he was just taking a break for poop. You know, I'm sorry. I can't do this for two days. I'm -- nope.

Alison: Okay.

Casey: Hmm-mm.

Alison: I think we need reinforcements.

Paul: I -- I don't think that Emily meant that either one of our mothers should literally disappear.

Emily: Well, I -- I didn't, but, I mean, now that you mention it, it's actually --

Paul: You are so not being helpful, not even a little bit.

Emily: Well, at least I'm being honest. None of you people can stand Iris, and yet you invite her to live in our home.

Will: Hey, at least she'll be close, where we can keep an eye on her.

Emily: What, are we taking shifts, Will?

Paul: No. He makes a good point. This way, we'll know where she is.

Emily: Great. Where is she, Paul? Who's watching her now?

Gwen: She mentioned something about going to a prayer circle.

Emily: Yeah, more like a coven if you ask me.

Gwen: Hey! How would you feel if I started ranting about what a loser your mom is?

Emily: Well, the difference is my mother's not a loser.

Gwen: I can't deal with this right now. I'm gonna go for a walk.

Emily: Great. Why don't you see if you can join in on your mom's prayer circle?

[Cell phone rings]

Gwen: Hey.

Alison: Hey. What are you guys up to?

Gwen: You wouldn't believe it if I told you. Why?

Alison: Well, um, Casey and I are having a barbecue over at his parents' house, and I was wondering if you guys might want to get together. And, uh, bring Hallie, 'cause we're babysitting Jacob, and it might be fun if we just all hang out.

Gwen: I'll ask Will. Hang on a sec. It's Ali. She and Casey are having a barbecue.

Will: Great. I'm gonna grab Hallie, and we can get out of here.

Gwen: Okay, we'll be right there.

Emily: Iris, Paul? Really?

Paul: It seemed like a good idea.

[Emily sighs]

Chris: Ta-da! Margo?! You guys here?! See, now, that's funny. I thought they were gonna be here before we were, but they -- I don't know. They must have got stuck in traffic.

Katie: What are you doing?

Chris: I'm gonna give, uh, Tom's cell a call.

Katie: No, don't, uh -- don't bother.

Chris: Why not? Katie, is there something that you're not telling me?

Katie: Margo called me before I left my house and told me that they're both due in court, so they're not coming.

Chris: Wait a minute. You didn't bother to tell me while we were driving all the way up here? Do you realize that I have a car full of -- wait a minute. You knew that Tom and Margo were not coming up here, but you still came up here to be alone with me?

Katie: Want to help me put this food away?

Chris: You're not wearing your wedding ring.

Emily: I don't want that woman around our little girl! She -- she scares me!

Paul: You're being ridiculous. Eliza's perfectly safe.

Emily: Iris is not stable, Paul.

Paul: Well, I know how to deal with unstable people, don't I? Don't I?

Emily: That's not funny. I am not amused.

Paul: A little bit. A little bit.

Emily: I am not amused even a little bit.

Paul: Okay, look, can't we do this for Gwen then, okay? We owe her one at least. I mean, what we did to her was unforgivable.

Emily: Hey, you know what? There needs to be a statute of limitations on guilt.

Paul: Well, until there is, Iris needs to stay here. Come on. Gwen is a really good person.

Emily: Yeah, well, clearly she is the result of an extreme genetic mutation.

Paul: Iris will just be here for a few days, and then my mom will come back from whatever spider hole she's crawled into.

Emily: Maybe.

Paul: Not maybe. And then everything will go back to normal, because you're gonna make nice with my mom. You promised me. You promised.

Emily: I promised to love, honor, and cherish. I did not promise that it would be easy.

Paul: You want to make out?

[Emily chuckles]

Iris: Emmy, you're home.

Emily: So, Iris, it appears you've been quite busy since I was away.

Iris: Oh, that Paul is such a prince. But then again, you know that, being the lady who's currently on the receiving end of all of his -- princeliness.

Paul: Be nice.

Iris: I am being nice.

Emily: Oh, no. He's talking about me.

Paul: Wah, wah. I think I hear Eliza crying.

Emily: No, no, no, no. Don't you dare --?

Paul: No, she's crying. Didn't you hear? Better go.

Iris: That Paul -- he is just the sweetest. And my socks have, honest to God, been knocked off. I mean, I used to think the most heinous things about that man.

Emily: Vice versa.

Iris: But life is just full of surprises. You know, I'm big on redemption these days. It is really a thrill to see someone walk away from the dark and walk into the light.

Emily: Any chance you'll be walking in the light anytime soon?

Iris: [Laughs] You have such a quirky little sense of humor. So men find that attractive, do they?

Emily: Okay, up, up, up. Iris, up. We need to set some ground rules if you're gonna be staying in my home for a few days.

Iris: I couldn't agree with you more. Which is why I made a list of all the things I'm gonna need to make my stay here more comfortable.

Emily: "Unsweetened, non-dairy, vanilla-flavored coffee creamer."

Iris: Mm-hmm. Coconut milk is my fave.

Emily: Hmm. "Freesia-scented bath salts."

Iris: Oh, my bath is my refuge.

Emily: "Memory-foam pad." I am not gonna buy you a mattress so you can sleep in comfort for two lousy nights.

Iris: Oh, you don't have to do that. You buy a topper. You know, it's one of those things that rolls out on top, a couple of inches thick. Oh, you sleep like butter. I'm telling you, I am a completely new woman when I've had a good night's shuteye.

Emily: I -- I need a drink.

Iris: Demon rum buys only a moment's pleasure.

Emily: Yeah, well, it works for me.

Henry: Either Barbara was here just now or someone wants me to think that she was. Barbara? Whoever you are, I know that whoever you are, I know that you're in here, and I know that you've got Barbara, so show yourself. I'm warning you. I know jujitsu! [Sighs] Damn it. I must have just missed her. Whoever she or he -- that's it, that's it, that's it. You are coming off. How do they do this? [Sighs]

Alison: Hi, Sweetie!

Casey: Please, please, please, no sudden movements.

Gwen: Why not?

Alison: Uh, 'cause he's kind of been having a minor tantrum until like the last ten minutes.

Casey: Mi -- minor?

Alison: Well, what it lacked in power it made up for in duration.

Gwen: Oh.

Will: Yeah, we've been there. That's no fun.

Casey: That is an understatement. I mean, if every kid in the world was like that, humanity would be on the verge of extinction.

Alison: Don't say that in front of Jacob.

Casey: You don't know. That could be his master plan.

Gwen: You know who can help with that is this little one, Hallie, yeah.

Casey: Yeah.

Gwen: She loves to boss around everything that is littler than she is.

Casey: Good, good, 'cause I think that is our cue to go grill, Will.

Will: Okay.

Gwen: Oh, they're gonna go do man stuff.

Alison: Well, we'll be here if you guys need any help, okay?

Casey: Yes. Men, meat. No help needed.

Gwen: Oh, I see. Women, babies, no help needed.

Casey: Exactly, yes.

Gwen: That's terrible.

Alison: Wait. Will, uh, have you heard anything from your mom? Is she okay?

Will: Uh, not since we got that note that said she was fine. Thanks for asking.

Alison: Oh, my God. I thought Jacob would never stop fussing. And, like, I literally -- I didn't understand. Maybe he was deathly ill or just absolutely hates me.

[Gwen chuckles]

Alison: I mean, what is the secret?

Gwen: Oh, God. Practice and earplugs definitely. And -- and having someone like Will is always good.

Casey: I mean, you have to clue me in, Man. Uh, what -- what's the secret?

Will: Can you be a little more specific?

Casey: Kids, kids. I mean, how -- how do you deal with them when they lose their minds like that?

Will: Practice, and earplugs, and Gwen. Without her, my life would be chaos.

Alison: How do you know it's real with someone?

Gwen: You just know.

Alison: Yeah, that's what everyone says. But I feel like I've just known more times than I can count. I mean, there's got to be some clue that I'm missing.

Gwen: There isn't, no. But when -- but when you know for sure, I mean, there's absolutely -- there's absolutely no doubt, and all of the nervous butterflies go away, and all that's left are the good ones, and you realize that you found your life, and you can't wait for it to get started. My goodness. Did that sound as stupid as I think it did?

Alison: No, not at all.

Gwen: Well, you almost married Casey once before.

Alison: Yes, but I didnít. And, I mean, that means something.

Gwen: What -- what was he like?

Alison: Casey?

Gwen: Mick Dante. I mean, from what Barbara said, he sounds very mysterious.

Alison: Yes. I'm sure she has told you that he's dangerous and possibly insane.

Gwen: Well, I would like to know what you thought. You knew him -- you knew him better than anyone.

Alison: Yeah, I'm not sure that means so much.

Gwen: Well, I know that you wouldn't have stopped your marriage to Casey if you didn't have a good reason.

Alison: It didn't really go down just like that. I mean, things got out of control at the wedding, and then all of a sudden, it turned into, like, this hostage crisis, you know? I don't know. I don't know why I was so drawn to Mick. At the time, I felt like I didn't really have a choice, you know? But, I mean, maybe that was just an excuse. Maybe I wasn't ready to get married.

Gwen: Do you feel different now? Then don't look back.

Chris: [Sighs] All righty. Something -- something is missing, though. We need more candles. That's what I -- wow. You look beautiful.

Katie: Thank you.

Chris: You sure you're okay with this?

Katie: My goose bumps have goose bumps.

Chris: Can't tell you what my goose bumps have.

[Katie laughs]

Chris: So no second thoughts?

Katie: No. Everything in Oakdale felt so dramatic, but here, it just -- it really feels very right. Are you having second thoughts?

Chris: No, no, no. No, no, just, um -- so beautiful, literally catch my breath. No second thoughts, no doubts.

Katie: It's okay. I won't break.

Chris: I'm -- I'm sorry. I just, um --

Katie: Chris? What's wrong?

[Chris groans]

Gwen: Hey. Are you guys talking about us?

Will: Of course not.

Casey: No.

[Gwen laughs]

Will: Can Hallie have an h-o-t-d-o-g?

[Casey gasps]

Alison: Do you have to spell it out?

Gwen: Oh, goodness, yes.

Will: Yeah. She's addicted, but Gwen thinks too many is child abuse.

Gwen: Whoa. We agreed on this. One time a week.

Casey: So, that means --

Gwen: Yes, she can have one.

Casey: Oh. One hot dog for Hallie right there! Look at this. Barbecue, babies, and beer. What -- what does that mean, huh?

Gwen: Oh, I think it means we're all grown up.

[Cell phone rings]

Will: [Groans] Sorry, Guys. Hello.

Henry: It's Henry. I've been staking out your mother's room at the Lakeview, and I've had another sighting.

Will: Um, I'll be right there. Guys, uh, I hate to do this, but I got to go.

Gwen: Is it your mom?

Will: Yeah. Henry thinks he found something at the Lakeview.

Gwen: Okay. Just call me as soon as you can.

Will: Okay.

Casey: Good luck, Man.

Will: Yeah, thanks. I'll see you.

Paul: So, how is everything going down here?

Emily: Hmm. Peachy.

Iris: I was just telling Emily how grateful I am for your hospitality.

Emily: Yeah, that would be all Paulís. You can thank him.

Iris: Look at you two. You're married. You live in this gorgeous house. You got this adorable little girl that you're raising. Gosh, I'm just so happy for you that you've been able to make a family.

Paul: Thanks. I've never been happier.

Iris: That is so special. It gives a person faith, you know? I mean, if two sociopaths like you can make it work, then everybody in the world can do it, right? Anyway, I'm just gonna take a few moments and have a little one-on-one with my book, if you don't mind. And I'm gonna say a special prayer of thanksgiving for your generosity.

Paul: I think it's going pretty well.

Emily: [Groans] I need a refill.

Will: Excuse me. I'm looking for Henry Coleman.

Henry: Took you long enough.

Will: Henry. [Laughs nervously] Um, no judgments, but are you sure you're right for my mom?

Henry: Stakeouts aren't for the squeamish.

Will: Okay. You couldn't dress up like a maintenance man?

Henry: I never even thought about that, Man.

Will: Okay, uh, Henry, I was at a barbecue, and I was feeling good for the first time in a few days. So what's going on? Did you see my mom? Cut to the chase.

Henry: Didn't see her, not with my eyes. But I smelled her again.

Will: What?

Henry: Yeah. I was outside. I was doing some dusting. Then I had to step aside to adjust my bra. Those things are extremely complicated. You have no idea. Wasn't gone five minutes. I get back to my cart and boom, her perfume again. So I open the door. I came in here. I saw that her strongbox had been broken into. I thought, "Well, maybe it's her." But then why would she burgle herself? Which means that the imposter wants us to think that she was here. And if that is the case, your mother is being held against her will.

Will: Maybe.

Henry: Maybe?!

Will: Yeah. Henry, it seems suspicious, but it doesn't prove anything. What? What is it?

Henry: This pen doesn't belong to your mom.

Will: It wasn't here when Gwen and I were here the -- the last time.

Henry: It says, "The Party Warehouse for all your party needs."

Iris: [Sighs] Smells like money. Hmm. Chateau Lafite '08. A little young, but I like them like that.

Emily: [Sighs] Nah. No mixing. No mixing. Iris might be driving me to drink, but you will not give her the satisfaction of seeing you with a hangover in the morning. Brandy -- brandy.

[Iris sighs]

Katie: Is it me?

Chris: No, no, no. You -- you're perfect. It's me. It's all me.

Katie: No, it's okay. You're allowed to have second thoughts. It took me forever to be ready, maybe too long. So it's really fine. Maybe this just wasn't meant to be. But it's okay.

Chris: Listen to me. I want to be with you more than ever. I do. It's just -- it's my chest. Something -- my chest, like it's hard to breathe right now.

Katie: Chris, something is wrong. What is going on? Talk to me.

Casey: Just a few more burgers, then we'll be set. Should we wait for Will?

Gwen: No. He wouldn't want them to get cold. But it is weird. It's weird that he hasn't called.

Alison: Well, why don't you call him if you're worried?

Gwen: No. No, it's okay. I've -- it took me a while, but I learned to give him his freedom. There was a period in our relationship when I would call him constantly, and he always told me where he was going. I guess there was just a part of me that was terrified that something might happen. But no matter, we always managed to find our way back to each other.

Casey: That's awesome. It really is.

Gwen: Yeah. Yeah, it is. Okay. I'll go get the plates.

Casey: That was really cool, what she said. Does that mean --?

Alison: Yeah, I guess. If Will and Gwen can do it, then --

Casey: How do you like your burger?

Alison: Uh, medium.

Casey: Me too.

Henry: Barbara?!

Will: Mom, are you in here?

Henry: Barbara? Maybe they got her gagged somewhere. Barbara?!

Will: It's empty, Henry.

Henry: That's impossible!

Will: I told you, just because we found that pen in her room doesn't mean this is where she was the whole time.

Henry: That's the only thing that makes sense, Will.

Casey: No, if you jump over an infinite number of other possibilities.

Henry: No, no, no. Don't you feel her presence here?

Will: It's a warehouse.

Henry: We're missing something. Will, she's got to be here, okay? I -- I'll stake my life on it. Barbara?!

Emily: Mm, to my adorable husband, who wants us to be a happy family, even if it kills us.

Paul: Right. To my family. Weird and dysfunctional that we all are, at least we're all under one roof. And hey, just wait, 'cause when my mom gets home --

Emily: [Babbles] Just -- really. Quit while you're ahead. Cheers.

Iris: Mmm. Delish. I'd share with you, but, uh, I think it's too good for the likes of you.

On the next "As the World Turns" --

Katie: Chris, Chris!

Reid: Hey. What the hell are you doing?

Henry: This thing's covered in lipstick. And that looks like Barbara.

Gwen: My mom isn't drinking right now. And even if she did slip, there's no way she would risk drinking in your house, especially since she has nowhere else to go.

Iris: Don't move or I'll shoot.

Barbara: It's a toy gun, you moron. Oh! Oh, my God.

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