[an error occurred while processing this directive] ATWT Transcript Wednesday 6/17/09 [an error occurred while processing this directive]
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As The World Turns Transcript Wednesday 6/17/09

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Provided By Eric
Proofread By Emma

Vienna: I l don't mess up her makeup. You look fabulous.

Henry: Yeah, I thought so, too.

Kim: So, are you ready for Tango Argentina?

Vienna: I can't wait.

Kim: What about your costume? How did that turn out? Whoo!

Vienna: Whoo! Isn't it fabulous?

Kim: Yes.

Henry: Where's the rest of it?

Katie: What's the show about today?

Brad: Vienna and I, we're taking a tango lesson. Boleo gancho. I have no idea what that means.

Katie: Tango dancing? Isn't that a little racy for daytime TV?

Brad: I don't know, but a man's got to do what a man's got to do. Hasta la vista, baby.

Henry: You can't go on TV half naked.

Vienna: I am not naked!

Kim: Henry, Henry. This is pretty typical for a tango costume these days. And look how beautiful she looks.

Vienna: Yeah!

Henry: Isn't it -- and it must be uncomfortable.

Kim: For Vienna or for you?

Henry: Both.

Kim: Vienna, do me a favor. Go back to makeup and have them just check. I think there's a little smudge.

Vienna: Okay. That was Henry's fault. He's a naughty boy.

Henry: That's a naughty dress. Can't you put on a shawl or some kind of lace mantilla?

Kim: Hey, listen! Listen to me. Henry, no more. No more scenes. Now, what you need to do is to go back to Katie, watch the show with her. You're gonna be so much more comfortable.

Henry: No. I'm gonna stay right here 'cause I have some questions about that wardrobe. I'm her unofficial agent, you know.

Kim: Let me put it this way -- get out now!

Luke: Is that a picture of you?

Noah: Yeah. I think this was taken when I was about 3 or 4.

Luke: This film is gonna be really powerful.

Noah: You think?

Luke: Oh, yeah! Yeah. You know, you should do more with your father's medals, what they all mean, how much you respected him as a child.

Noah: Respect mixed with fear.

Luke: Yeah, but you need to put that in there, too. It's your honesty that people are gonna relate to.

Noah: Just, this whole thing has been very overwhelming. I mean, it's like every scene we shoot is opening up this doorway to a part of my life I just thought was behind me.

Luke: Yeah, but this film is gonna strike a chord with everyone who watches it. Isn't that what great films do?

Noah: Yeah. Too bad I won't be able to finish it.

Desk Clerk: I rang his room. He'll be down in a minute.

Meg: Great. Thank you. Hey.

Dusty: Hey, Meg.

Meg: Dusty.

Dusty: Were you trying to find me?

Meg: Actually, Eliza and I, we were in the neighborhood.

Dusty: I can't believe how big she's getting.

Meg: We have a busy day today.

Dusty: Not too busy for coffee, I hope. Can we talk?

Meg: I don't know what's left to talk about.

Dusty: Look, I did some things that I had no business doing, and I don't blame you for how you reacted.

Meg: I need to be able to make my own decisions, Dusty, without being second-guessed.

Dusty: I know. Let's not throw away all the good things we have.

Meg: There's something I need to tell you.

Damian: Meg, I'm sorry to keep you two lovely ladies waiting.

Damian: Hello, Dusty. Nice to see you.

Dusty: Yeah.

Damian: Are you ready to go?

Meg: I'm sorry. This is what I was trying to tell you.

Dusty: No apology necessary. Have a nice day.

Damian: Did I interrupt?

Meg: No. There was a slight misunderstanding. Dusty thought I had a change of heart.

Damian: About?

Meg: Breaking up with him.

Damian: I'm sorry this was awkward. Perhaps I shouldn't have asked you to meet me here.

Meg: No. It's all right. I mean, Dusty and I are bound to run in to each other. I can handle him.

Damian: Are you sure?

Meg: Yeah. Yeah. What we had is over, and I just can't keep going around, trying to avoid him.

Damian: I'm impressed with how you deal with difficult situations. That's one of the many things I like about you.

Meg: Oh, what is it with you European men? You guys can get away with saying things that no American guy would try.

Damian: I believe they call it continental charm.

Meg: Oh, yeah. Yeah, it is continental, and it is charming. I will give you that.

Damian: But is it working?

Meg: You do realize you're coming on to a woman with a baby.

Damian: An exceptionally beautiful mother and child.

Meg: Well, you know what? Today I'm calling the shots, and we are not gonna get stranded on a deserted island.

Damian: I am in your capable hands.

Meg: Oh. Okay, then. Let's go.

Damian: Allow me.

Meg: Thank you.

Bonnie: It's Bonnie. Open up. I know you're in there, Donovan.

Dusty: Go away.

Bonnie: No. We had an appointment to sign the papers for your visitation agreement.

Dusty: We can do it later.

Bonnie: No. We had this meeting scheduled.

Dusty: I'm canceling.

Bonnie: Dusty, I charge $450 an hour, so, unless you cancel 24 hours in advance, you have to pay the whole bill.

Dusty: Send me the bill.

Bonnie: Get out of my way.

Dusty: You're a very pushy woman. You know that?

Bonnie: Yeah. I've been called worse.

Dusty: I bet. Give me the papers to sign, and say sayonara.

Bonnie: It's a little early, isn't it?

Dusty: Not really.

Bonnie: I saw what happened downstairs with Meg and Damian. Now you're just feeling sorry for yourself.

Dusty: Not even close.

Bonnie: Yeah. Why don't you start acting like a grown-up?

Dusty: Okay. You can go now.

Bonnie: Don't you think it's a little bit pathetic to curl up with your scotch and pretend like none of this is happening?

Dusty: What do you care?

Bonnie: Well, Jennifer was my best friend. So, for her sake and for Johnny’s, I don't want to see you fall into pieces. Come on. Let's go play pool or something.

Dusty: No, thanks.

Bonnie: Yeah! Why not? You're just afraid you're gonna lose or something? When's the last time you played pool?

Dusty: With Meg, so I really don't feel like it.

Bonnie: Oh, my gosh. Get over it.

Dusty: All right. One game of pool. Then will you leave me alone?

Bonnie: If you win. But if I win, I call the shots.

Dusty: In your dreams.

Luke: I don't get it, Noah. Why don't you think you'll be able to finish your film? You got off to such a strong start.

Noah: Yeah, maybe. But with production costs and editing, I'm almost out of money.

Luke: Already?

Noah: I have already run through all the cash I made at Java, so now I'm gonna have to work more shifts which means I won't be able to work on the movie.

Luke: Well, do you want me to give you some money from the foundation?

Noah: No. That wouldn't be right.

Luke: Why not? The foundation's set up for good causes. This is as good as it gets.

Noah: I'm not a charity. But I don't have enough money. I need it to buy the required software to finish the movie. And I want to do location shoots in Fort Leonard Wood and Fort Gordon to interview soldiers who knew my father, and I can't swing a plane ticket.

Luke: Well -- well, we'll think of something.

Noah: How? I mean, what are we gonna do? I can't work at Java 24/7, and I'm supposed to be spending more time with you. I mean, we're supposed to be moving in to our summer sublet.

Luke: I know, I know, but there's got to be something that I can do to help.

Noah: You've already done enough.

Luke: Well, I know. I am your producer, remember?

Noah: You are so much more than that.

Luke: I know. I'm also your camera guy.

Noah: You know what I mean.

Luke: I do know. I do know. So, what do you want me to do?

Noah: Well, I have to get going to work, but it would be great if you could just look through and maybe help me start filling out these grant applications.

Luke: Yeah, yeah. Of course. Yes.

Noah: That would be great. Thank you.

Luke: Of course. Go.

Noah: I have to get going.

Luke: I am cool.

Noah: Thank you. I'll see you after my shift, camera guy.

Luke: Yep. I will get these done as soon as I can.

Noah: Thanks.

Luke: Oh, you've got to be kidding me. Hell with that. There's got to be an easier way.

Brad: Okay, okay. I'm here, I'm here, I'm here. I am here with 18 seconds to spare.

Kim: And pushing your luck, as usual.

Brad: Wow. Wow. You look very professional.

Vienna: Thank you.

Kim: We know. Thank you, thank you. We've got to get the two of you set to do the dance routine. Your instructor is here. Her name is Celia. Celia. Oh. Okay, good. She's here. Celia Magalia is from Buenos Aires. She is a choreographer.

Brad: Brad Snyder. It's very nice to meet you.

Vienna: I see that we are in very good hands.

Brad: And great legs.

Kim: Will you concentrate? We don't have time to fool around!

Celia: Today we will do an authentic argentine tango. The man and the woman connect, chest, chest.

[Piano music plays]

Kim: As opposed to thigh by thigh and side by side.

Celia: That's right. This technique is more sensual.

Vienna: Oh, yeah. I see what you mean.

Brad: Yes. Either way is fine, but this way is good, too.

Kim: Okay, everybody. Places. We're on standby.

Katie: It's just a TV show. It's not real life, Henry. You have nothing to worry about.

Henry: You sure you're okay with all of this?

Katie: Yeah, I'm fine. I'm a professional. So is Brad. Vienna's doing us a huge favor by filling in for me. I owe her a lot.

Henry: You're never, ever jealous seeing the two of them together?

Katie: No, not at all.

Henry: Even with all that cleavage?

Katie: No. Doesn't bother me a bit.

Henry: Liar.

Katie: Okay, maybe a little bit, but only, you know, when Brad stares.

Henry: He stares a lot, Sweetheart.

Katie: Well, can you blame him? Look at her. Let's just watch the show. Whoa! You weren't kidding about that dress.

Henry: Mnh-mnh.

Katie: Turn up the sound.

Celia: Begin with the caminado, the bodies very close.

[Dance music plays]

Brad: Do it like that?

Henry: That's not a dance class. It's sex education!

Katie: Keep breathing, Henry.

Henry: I'm okay. I'm okay.

Celia: Now the gancho and thrust.

Henry: Tell me this isn't happening.

Katie: It's happening. [Gasps] Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Did we just see Vienna's -- did we really just see Vienna's -- and was that Brad's hand on her --

Henry: Don't say it! Don't even say it!

Katie: Oh, I'm still on hold!

Henry: Please tell me that wasn't live.

Katie: What's on the monitor is just the feed from the studio. I'm sure we're the only ones who just saw what happened.

Henry: That's bad enough, Katie! I'm scarred for life!

Katie: Don't worry! They're not gonna let Vienna pop out of her dress and then put it on the air!

Henry: It gives the term "Broadcast" a whole new meaning.

Katie: Max, hi! It's Katie. We were just watching Brad and Vienna, and you guys are just taping, right? That wasn't -- you're kidding? You're not kidding. Okay, thanks. Bye.

Henry: No. No, no, no, no.

Katie: Yep!

Henry: No!

Katie: Live on air! I really hope the FCC doesn't shut the show down.

Henry: Okay. This is just one of those things. It was a fluke, right?

Katie: Right. But wow. Her breast in Brad's hand.

Henry: He was trying to be a gentleman.

Katie: Obviously, he was just trying to help.

Henry: I mean, what was he supposed to do?

Katie: Are you okay with this?

Henry: Yes! I'm okay. I'm fine.

Katie: I'm proud of you. That's very professional.

Henry: Thank you, Katherine.

Katie: If you can do it, then I will do it.

Henry: I will get you some water.

Katie: Thank you.

[Grunting]

Vienna: I'm so sorry. I never meant this to happen. I was focusing on the tango, and then, suddenly, everything got untangled!

Kim: I know, I know. It's okay. It's not your fault.

Vienna: But maybe no one noticed.

Kim: That's hard to imagine.

Vienna: It can't be such a big deal.

Kim: Oh, it's pretty big.

Vienna: I never really wanted this to happen.

Kim: You know what? It's really okay. Now, listen. I just want you to relax. I want you to dress, go on home, and forget the whole thing.

Vienna: I just hope it doesn't hurt the show.

Kim: Well, you know, it's either gonna be the best publicity we've ever had or it's gonna take us off the air. One way or the other.

Brad: Honey, I'm home.

Katie: We're in here.

Brad: Hold on, Henry. Let me explain.

Henry: Go right ahead.

Brad: It wasn't my fault. I mean, I didn't make it happen. It was just a wardrobe malfunction.

Henry: I know. It's okay. I'm fine, really.

Katie: He's been amazing. He hasn't freaked out at all.

Brad: Really? Really?

Henry: Brad, why don't you join me? I'll mix you a drink.

Brad: Okay. Yeah, that would be fine. Great.

Henry: Just tell me this, Brad. Why, why, did you touch Vienna's breast? No! Answer me!

Brad: Calm down. It was not in a sexual way.

Henry: What kind of way was it?

Brad: It was -- it was just a reflex.

Henry: A reflex, Brad?

Brad: Look, I was trying to keep her from being humiliated in front of thousands of viewers. It won't happen again.

Henry: No. It won't ever happen again, and I'm gonna make sure of that.

Luke: Hey, guys.

Meg: Hey.

Damian: Luciano. What a pleasant surprise.

Luke: I was actually heading to the Lakeview to look for you.

Damian: Would you care for some ice cream?

Luke: Oh, no. No, thanks. I'm good. Actually, I have a really big favor to ask you.

Damian: Anything.

Luke: Noah's making this movie. It's a documentary about growing up with the military. Anyway, he's run out of funding.

Damian: Say no more. How much you need?

Luke: I really actually don't know. Maybe a couple thousand dollars.

Damian: It's not a problem at all.

Luke: Thank you.

Damian: Here you go.

Luke: Damian, I said a couple, not $20,000!

Meg: $20,000?

Damian: You think that should cover all of Noah's expenses?

Luke: No. This is -- this is amazing. Thank you. Noah's going to be so excited. I'm gonna go tell him right now.

Damian: All right. I enjoy making my son happy.

Meg: Yeah. Uh-huh. And all you had to do was just throw money at him.

Damian: You don't approve?

Meg: Honestly, I think you made a big mistake.

Dusty: Where's the pool table?

Bonnie: I guess its ping-pong or nothing. Luckily, I happen to be a ping-pong fiend.

Dusty: Figures.

Bonnie: Come on. Let's play.

Dusty: Ping-pong's for wussies.

Bonnie: Oh, Donovan, those are fighting words. I am officially challenging you.

Dusty: Oh, great.

Bonnie: What? Are you afraid to lose, big guy? Come on.

Dusty: To you?

Bonnie: Yeah.

Dusty: I hope you know what you're getting into.

Bonnie: Oh. I think you're gonna have to show me. Are you ready for this? Here we go.

[Bonnie laughs]

Bonnie: That's one. All right. Come on. You can do it. You can really do it. Focus. Relax. Come on. Oh, my God!

Dusty: Sorry.

Bonnie: Two. Take it easy. It's just ping-pong. Here we go. Three. You ready? Go.

Dusty: What are you doing?

Bonnie: I'm winning, and that was a point for me, by the way.

Dusty: You play like a maniac.

Bonnie: What? Are you criticizing my technique? You don't even know how to hold the paddle.

Dusty: What are you talking about? I hold it fine.

Bonnie: No. You can't get any wrist action like that. You know what? Try this. Like, move your hand, like, up a little bit. It's good.

Dusty: Come on. You're not teaching me how to play this game.

Bonnie: Just try it like this.

Dusty: Ow!

Bonnie: Oops.

Dusty: "Oops"? That's all you have to say?

Bonnie: It was an accident! I mean, don't cry like a big old baby.

Dusty: I think I broke my jaw.

Bonnie: Look, I'm sorry. What can I do to help your jaw?

[Dusty kisses Bonnie]

Bonnie: What the hell was that?

Dusty: You asked how to make it better.

Bonnie: You lay one kiss on me, and I'm supposed to go all limp or something and we're supposed to get all hot and heavy on the ping-pong table?

Dusty: I don't think so.

Bonnie: No. You were losing the game, and you put the moves on me?

Dusty: Moves? It was just a kiss.

Bonnie: Let me tell you something, Donovan! This whole brooding, macho, I-take-what-I-want routine is not gonna work on me. You go find yourself some spineless female to get you through the night, and get the hell away from me.

Damian: Luke asked me for some help. Not for himself, but for someone he loves very much. I didn't think there would be any harm in trying to give him something that I can easily afford.

Meg: Look, I love my nephew. I think he's a great person, but I don't think he deserves to be indulged right now.

Damian: What makes you say that?

Meg: He got kicked out of school. He's not really working.

Damian: What about the foundation?

Meg: He only does that when he feels like it because it was handed to him on a silver platter.

Damian: By me.

Meg: Look, he has all that Grimaldi money now, and he's doing good things with it. Like I said, I admire him, but --

Damian: He needs more than just a handout.

Meg: Look, I'm sure Noah's film is a worthy cause, but Noah's the one doing all the work, and you gave the money to Luke. You wanted to impress him. You wanted to show him how much you care, but you can't do that with money.

[Eliza fusses]

Meg: Hey, Sweetheart. Look, I need to take her home.

Noah: $20,000? Is this for real?

Luke: I guess Damian was in a very generous mood. It'll be enough, right?

Noah: Yeah, it'll be more than enough, but I don't want it.

Luke: What do you mean?

Noah: Luke, I asked you to help me fill out applications for grants. I didn't want you to run and ask your rich relatives.

Luke: Yeah, but filling out those grant applications would have taken forever, and there's no guarantee. This way was a lot faster.

Noah: Yeah, and easier. It's too easy. Luke, if you want your family to support you, that's fine, but I'm not you.

Brad: Henry really lost it.

Katie: Can you blame him, seeing his other half all exposed like that and then having to watch his best friend, his married best friend, with his hands all over her?

Brad: I was just trying to protect her from becoming the next Megahit on ustube.

Katie: I know that.

Brad: Was it a problem for you?

Katie: I'm fine. I just feel bad for Vienna, though. She must have really been embarrassed.

Brad: She was a good sport. If anyone was gonna pop out of her dress, I mean, it's a good thing that it was her.

Katie: What is that supposed to mean?

Brad: Nothing. I mean, she's -- she's Swedish, and, I mean, you know, in her country, nudity, it's not a big deal.

Katie: Oh, so it's just another day at the office. Is that what you're saying? This beautiful, sexy woman's half naked in front of you, but, hey, no big deal.

Brad: No. I mean, yes, but -- what was the question?

Katie: You find her attractive, right?

Brad: There's nothing special about her, you know -- yeah, okay. They're nice. They're nice, Katie. They're nice. Can we please stop talking about Vienna's breasts?

Katie: Yeah, I would love to stop talking about Vienna's breasts, but you're still thinking about them, aren't you?

Brad: No. No. Absolutely, I'm not.

Henry: Brad better keep his hands to himself. Why not?

[Speaking in woman's voice]

Henry: Kim Hughes, please.

[Telephone rings]

Kim: Kim Hughes.

Henry: Yes, hello. My name is Geneva Swift, Ms. Geneva Swift, and I'd like to file a complaint!

Kim: Yes, Ms. Swift. Go on.

Henry: I was appalled watching "Oakdale Now" today. That brunette co-host, and I use the term loosely, she was downright obscene! How could you subject your loyal viewers to the sight of her -- unleashed frontal appendage, and in high definition, no less!

Kim: Believe me, I am -- I'm just desperately sorry that we have so offended you.

Henry: Offended is an understatement. It was disgraceful! If I wanted to watch pornography, I wouldn't have blocked it from my TV system! Oh, I thought it was safe, Mrs. Hughes. WOAK used to be a family station.

Kim: Please believe me. What happened today was totally unintentional.

Henry: Oh, I don't know about that. "Oakdale now" is not what it used to be, Madam! Not since you put that Swedish tart on the show!

Kim: But this was not Ms. Hyatt's fault. This was an accident.

Henry: That hussy and her overactive bosom should be banned and fired!

Kim: As I said, this was an innocent mistake, and Ms. Hyatt isn't going anywhere.

Henry: Oh, really? Well, I will use every arrow in my formidable quiver to make sure Ms. Hyatt is gone for good!

Kim: And just how do you intend to do that?

Henry: Are you familiar with Illinois Citizens Against Nudity?

Kim: I can't say that I am.

Henry: Well, I am a founding member, and we represent concerned women like myself, women of good breeding and moral certitude. There are thousands of members across the state, and we will make our voices heard!

Kim: Well, you certainly have the right to express your opinion.

Henry: It's not an opinion. It's a fact. Ms. Hyatt needs to be gone, or else we'll picket and protest and stage a boycott! You need to fire Ms. Hyatt! Good day, Ms. Hughes!

Kim: Just a minute. Just a minute. If you are that serious, then why don't you come down here to the studio, and we will meet face-to-face. We are committed to giving airtime, absolute equal time, to opposing views.

Henry: Well, it's very accommodating, but I don't think I could.

Kim: Wait a minute. You just told me that this was really important to you and your membership.

Henry: Oh, it is. It is. Oh, it's very important.

Kim: Well, I'd like to know if the rest of my audience agrees with you. As far as I'm concerned, I think our audience will understand that this was an honest mistake. But if you want to come down here, state your case as you have just stated it, we'll find out how our audience really feels.

Henry: You want me to go on television?

Kim: Yes. We'll give you a fair hearing.

Henry: And enough people agree with me, you'll consider replacing Ms. Hyatt?

Kim: We'll let our audience decide.

Henry: Oh, I don't know. Oh, I don't know. I have to check with the membership, with the organization.

Kim: Oh, please do. We want everyone's input.

Vienna: Darling, I'm home!

Henry: Okay, okay. I'll think about it!

Vienna: Who's here?

Henry: What?

Vienna: I heard a woman's voice. Do you have a woman in here?

Henry: A woman? Oh, it was the TV. I turned it off right before you came in.

Vienna: Oh. Did you see me on the show today?

Henry: Yeah, I saw way more than I wanted to.

Vienna: I just hope it doesn't hurt the show. Kim said either it'll boost the ratings or it'll be a total disaster. I could get fired, all depending on the audience reaction. Whatever happens, I'm sure the whole town will be watching tomorrow.

Henry: Well, that's just great.

Vienna: I missed you today.

Henry: Yeah. I'm sorry, baby. I got to go.

Vienna: Where?

Henry: The dentist. I forgot I have an appointment.

Vienna: Oh, poor darling. You hate the dentist. Do you want me to come with you?

Henry: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't want you to hear me whine in pain. There are some things a man must be able to do alone.

Vienna: Okay.

Luke: If you don't want to take this money, we can give it back to Damian.

Noah: Look, I'm sorry. I know it wasn't easy for you to ask him.

Luke: I just really believe in this film, Noah, and you. I wanted you to get the money as quickly as possible. You're very, very talented. I want the whole world to be able to see it.

Noah: Thanks. I'm really sorry for coming down on you like that.

Luke: No, no, no. It's okay.

Noah: It's just -- it probably had less to do with you and Damian and more to do with my father. I mean, making this film, it's brought up some heavy stuff.

Luke: Well, that's why it is such a powerful film, and if it gives you some sense of closure, well --

Noah: I'm glad you're making peace with Damian. That's great. I mean, I wish I could do the same with my father.

Luke: Look. I have an idea. Why don't you take this money, use just what you need, and we'll pay Damian back using the money from the grants, which I will apply for and which you will get. I promise.

Noah: Thanks. You're the best!

Luke: Oh, no. I am not. I am a spoiled brat. But if this movie will help you feel closer to your father and maybe even forgive him for what he's done to you, then it's all worth it.

Damian: If I haven't made this clear to you, I enjoy being with you, Meg. I want to get to know you better, and I want nothing more than to please you.

Meg: Don't go all European on me now.

Damian: Does it bother you when I speak from my heart? I promised you I wouldn't push you in to anything you aren't ready for, and I intend to keep that promise.

Meg: Well, thank you for understanding, and I'm sorry I was tough on you today, but I got the sense that you were trying to control Luke with your money, and I took it personally because I'm tired of being controlled myself. So I overreacted.

Damian: Not at all. I appreciate your honesty. So, can we pick up where we left off and go out for lunch together? Especially if I fight the urge to pay the bill?

[Knock on door]

Katie: Who could that be?

Vienna: Katie? Brad?

Brad: We're in here.

Vienna: Oh, God. I'm sorry to bother you guys, but I had to come in person and apologize. Katie, honestly, I never meant to bear my bosom in Brad's face today!

Katie: Hey, I know you didn't do it on purpose. But one piece of advice -- double-sided tape keeps your girls where you put them.

Vienna: Oh, yeah. From now on, I will.

Brad: All right. You two may want to watch this. Kim's doing a special interview.

Kim: Thank you for joining us. As many of you may know, we had a little mishap on the air earlier, and it's raised some questions about what's appropriate for daytime television. Now, what happened was a complete accident, but a few of our viewers have expressed the opinion that some of our recent episodes have just gone too far. There's concern about too much innuendo, too much blatant sexuality, and, yes, exposing too much skin. And here's one woman's point of view on this matter. Join me in welcoming Ms. Geneva Swift.

Henry: [Speaking in woman's voice] Well, thank you, Ms. Hughes. I appreciate the chance to address your audience. Now, I am a long-time fan of "Oakdale Now," but after today' shocking episode, I felt I had to speak out, and I think I speak for the silent majority o fans out there, Ms. Hughes. I think I do. We are horrified, quite frankly -- horrified at seeing what has happened to the program that we love! And who is responsible for the tacky and tawrdy -- tawdry sideshow it has become? Well, Ms. Vienna Hyatt, that's who! The appalling lewdness of that Scandinavian jezebel is bringing the show right down in to the gutter!

Vienna: Who is this ugly woman, and why is she saying all those horrible things about me?

Henry: Put quite simply, Vienna Hyatt must go!

Vienna: Oh!

Brad: It's okay. It's okay.

Henry: [Speaking in woman's voice] As long as that disgusting woman remains on the air, a loud and vocal protest will be heard! As a founding member of the Illinois Citizens Against Nudity, I will stage a boycott! No more WOAK until Vienna Hyatt is g-o-n-e!

Kim: Thank you, Ms. Swift, for joining us.

Henry: Thank you. Thank you so much. And, please, let's all send Vienna back home to Stockholm. She's not fit for a wholesome American television.

Vienna: How dare that woman call me names, and why on earth did Kim put such a hideous creature on the air?

Brad: She was pretty ugly.

Katie: Kim probably thinks it'll boost the ratings.

Brad: Yeah. You know, I guess a little controversy stirs things up, but she was mean.

Katie: She just represents the opposing point of view. It's an FCC rule. Equal time.

Vienna: No, no, no. You know what? I feel so humiliated.

Katie: She was probably just jealous, Vienna. You're so gorgeous, and she's so not.

Vienna: No, no. She's revolting. She's revolting. But you know what? Somehow, she looked familiar.

Brad: You own a diner and a bar. Everybody in town must look familiar.

Vienna: No, no, no. That's a face I'll remember, and if I ever see that frumpy, old witch again in the flesh, I'll smack her senseless!

Kim: All right. Ms. Swift, that was the publicity department. Ms. Swift, they want to shoot -- some pictures.

Vienna: Henry, did you see it? Did you see that horrible woman? Did you see how cruel she was to me? Are you okay, Darling?

[Henry groans]

Vienna: What? Oh, God. The dentist was terrible.

Henry: My whole face hurts!

Vienna: Oh, poor baby. Let me see.

Henry: No, no. I'm just gonna put some cold water on it.

Vienna: Geneva Swift. How can anyone be so mean? She's a monster!

Henry: Come on. She couldn't have been that bad.

Vienna: No! She was a nightmare! I'd like to kill that woman!

[Cell phone rings]

Vienna: WOAK. Oh, my God.

[Speaking in woman's voice]

Vienna: Yes, hello.

Kim: Is this Ms. Swift, Ms. Geneva Swift?

Henry: Yes. Yes, it is.

Kim: Ah, Ms. Swift. This is Kim Hughes, and we've been looking for you.

Henry: Oh, you have? Well, please tell me that slut Vienna Hyatt is off the show.

Kim: Well, Ms. Hyatt's future has not been decided, but we would love to have you come back and do our show. In fact, we'd love to have you be a regular.

Henry: Regular what?

Kim: Our audience enjoyed your appearance on our show so much, they have been responding in droves. I honestly think you have a future in television.

Henry: Oh, that's so flattering, Ms. Hughes. I think that's out of the question.

Kim: You're not interested?

Henry: No. I mean, I don't know.

Kim: Oh, Ms. Swift, I would so love to have you be part of our WOAK family. Now, you don't know me, but I can be very persistent, and I rarely take no for an answer.

Henry: Well, thank you, but I'm afraid I can't take you up on your offer.

Kim: You know, you're gonna hear from me again, Ms. Swift. I'm not giving up.

Henry: No, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry. It's not pos-- [Speaking in normal voice] Oh, my God. What have I gotten myself into?

Noah: That's weird.

Luke: What?

Noah: Where's the DVD with the footage from the movie? We were watching it earlier, weren't we?

Luke: I didn't touch it.

Noah: Neither did I.

Luke: What? You think someone stole it?

Noah: Why would they? I mean, my laptop's here and my cell phone. Who would want an unfinished movie?

Luke: Well, you have all the footage on the hard drive, right?

Noah: Yeah. Thank God.

Luke: Then, good. There's nothing to worry about.

Dusty: What did I do wrong? You offered to make me feel better.

Bonnie: Well, so, that entitles you to kiss me?

Dusty: Get over yourself. It wasn't much of a kiss.

Bonnie: What?

Dusty: I didn't have to worry about my heart rate. Let's put it that way.

Bonnie: Wow. Okay. That's because you ambushed me. I wasn't even ready. I wasn't even trying. You know what? This is how I kiss a guy when I want to kiss him. I hope you liked it. 'Cause that's the last one you're ever gonna get.

Damian: Are you all right?

Meg: You know, maybe it's good that I saw that. Maybe that's just what I needed. Let's go have lunch. My treat.

On the next "As the World Turns" --

Henry: Oh, my!

Katie: Oh, my God. That's Henry!

Carly: I'm finally on the other side, and I'm very hopeful that things will continue to get better.

Parker: You never stopped! You can't!

Carly: You are not allowed to speak to me that way!

Jack: What's going on?

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