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As The World Turns Transcript Tuesday 5/5/09

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Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By Emma

Katie: Kim, hi!

Kim: Good morning. I'm interrupting, as usual.

Katie: No, no. We were just having some breakfast.

Kim: Oh. Really? What is that?

Brad: A healthy and nutritious breakfast.

Vienna: It's green. My God. And it has hair.

[Laughter]

Brad: No. That's, uh -- that's -- that's sprouts.

Katie: No. Oh, no, no, no. You are never going to the health-food store by yourself again.

Kim: Well, you know, this is really -- this is really wonderful. You're all working so hard together to bring this baby into the world. And actually, that kind of fits right in with my idea for a new segment for our reality show.

Vienna: Oh, just tell me it's not about health food.

Kim: Oh, no, no, no. It's about childbirth education. I want to shoot you all taking one of the classes at the hospital.

Vienna: Oh, that could be fun.

Katie: Yeah, definitely.

Kim: Good.

Katie: By the time this baby is born, we're gonna know everything there is to know about childbirth.

Brad: Just as long as there's no pop quizzes, count me in. Get it, "Pop"?

Kim: Never mind. I'm gonna go then and set it up. Uh, what about this afternoon? How does that work for you?

Vienna: No, no. Henry's working.

Katie: Oh, that's okay. We can do it without Henry.

Bob: And, uh, a side of bacon, extra crispy. Henry, did you get that?

Henry: Yes. Wheat toast. Wheat. Got it.

Bob: Is something wrong?

Henry: No. Uh, yeah, there is. Can I -- can I ask you a question, as a doctor and as a father?

Bob: Well, you can ask. Hopefully, one of us will give you an answer.

Henry: Is there something wrong with someone who doesn't want kids?

Bob: As a doctor, medically, there's nothing wrong. As a father, why don't you sit down and tell me about it? Is there someone particular that you're asking about?

Henry: Yeah, it's me. Is there something wrong with me?

[Bob laughs]

Bob: Well, that depends. Why don't you want to have children?

Henry: It's an intellectual decision.

Bob: Oh, I see. You're scared.

Henry: More like terrified.

Katie: Brad and I and Vienna will make great television all by ourselves. Trust me.

Kim: Okay, if that's how you want it.

Katie: It is.

Kim: Uh, okay. I'll go to the studio and be ready for you. See you later.

Katie: See you later. Vienna, I hope you understand.

Vienna: No, no, Katie. I -- I donít. Why would you want to leave Henry out in the dark like that?

Katie: We're just trying to think of what would make the best show.

Brad: I mean, it's no offense. It's just Henry's kind of -- he's surplus to the baby-making enterprise.

Vienna: Okay. I guess he'll understand once I'll explain it to him.

Katie: No, no! Don't do that.

Vienna: Why not?

Katie: Just better this way.

Vienna: No. Katie, that -- that's not good enough. I want to know why you want to keep Henry out of this process.

Katie: Okay, fine. I'm worried.

Vienna: About what?!

Katie: That Henry is getting too possessive of our baby.

Vienna: No, no, no, no. Don't be silly.

Katie: It's true. Sometimes I think Henry has forgotten whose baby this really is.

Lily: I'm so happy Noah's staying with us for a few days while he recuperates.

Holden: Yeah, me too. You know what I was thinking? I was thinking maybe -- maybe I could take the boys to a Cubs game today.

Lily: Don't you think it's too soon?

Holden: No. Doctor said that he can do normal activities.

Lily: Yeah, but a baseball game can last for hours. I'm worrying too much, aren't I?

Holden: Well, it's not like he's gonna be playing at a game. He's gonna be sitting there. He's gonna be watching it. And it will be a nice change of pace. Plus it will give me a chance to spend some quality time with Luke.

Lily: This isn't a competition, Holden.

Holden: It is. It is competition. It's a baseball game.

Lily: I'm not talking about the game. You have nothing to prove.

Holden: And who do I have nothing to prove to?

Lily: You have nothing to fear from Damian. Luke already knows what a loving father you are.

Holden: It's a baseball game, Lily.

Lily: Right. And I'm sure you and the boys will have a great time.

Holden: Why don't you join us, make it a foursome?

Lily: Ah! As much fun as that sounds, I have a lot of work with the foundation to catch up on.

Holden: Alone?

Lily: That's the plan. I'll be there all day. I hope you and the boy have a good time.

Luke: Well, the shoe is on the other foot now, Mayer. You have to let me take care of you.

Noah: Mm. I like the sound of that.

[Luke laughs]

Luke: Down, boy. I was talking about like changing your bandages and stuff.

Noah: Oh. I was thinking more along the lines of physical therapy.

Luke: Huh. Not on my parents' porch. But don't worry. Soon, we are gonna have a place of our own.

Noah: Wow.

Luke: Yeah. "Wow."

Holden: Hey, guys.

[Luke chuckles]

Luke: Hey, Dad.

Holden: Noah. How are you feeling?

Noah: Great, all things considered.

Holden: Think you guys might be up for a Cubs game?

Noah: Yeah, sure. Why not?

Holden: I'm gonna see if I can get three tickets.

[Luke laughs]

Noah: Can your dad really get Cubs tickets on such short notice?

Luke: Yeah. He and the ticket broker go way back. He can get tickets for the Bears, the Cubs, the Bulls. Pick your beast.

Noah: That's so cool. Your dad is so cool. You have two really great dads.

Lily: Oh. I didn't expect to see you here.

Damian: Did I startle you?

Lily: I'm okay.  

Damian: Uh, listen, I just -- I just thought that for me to be of any use to the foundation, I needed to know more about it. So I hope you don't mind.

Lily: Of course not.

Luke: I was just telling Noah about all the great seats you used to get for us when I was a kid.

Holden: Really? Um, unfortunately, I have bad news. The Cubs are away. They're playing in New York. They're playing the Mets.

Luke: Oh. Well, I guess some other time, then.

Holden: Unless -- you know, there might be a way to make this work. If I can get Lucindaís jet, maybe we could get that and be in New York before the first inning. What do you think?

Luke: All the way to New York? I don't know if Noah's up for it.

Noah: Speak for yourself. Are you kidding? Even I can be spontaneous for the Cubs.

Luke: Okay, okay, all right. Then let's go.

Damian: Actually, I had a reason for wanting to review the foundation's programs today. My friend, Antoine Laudel, has his own foundation which serves disabled children. I thought he might be interested in joining forces with Luke.

Lily: That'd be fantastic. Luke's wanted for a while to expand the outreach of the foundation.

Damian: I remember you saying that. So I contacted Antoine.

Lily: And?

Damian: And he's in New York today on business, so I booked a flight to meet with him before he returns to Paris. Actually, I should be leaving very soon if I don't want to miss my flight.

Lily: Well, good luck. I hope the meeting's a big success.

Damian: You mean that?

Lily: Of course I do.

Damian: Well, then come to New York with me.

Lily: I don't think me going to New York is a good idea.

Damian: Why not? It's a quick flight. And the meeting itself won't be very long. I guarantee you'll be back by dinnertime.

Lily: I'd just be in the way.

Damian: Believe me, you won't be in the way. Antoine Laudel has always had an eye for a beautiful woman.

[Lily laughs]

Lily: Thanks for wanting me along for my business skills.

Damian: Your beauty is only one of the many reasons why you should come. You know so many things I don't -- the history of the foundation, all the programs. You can speak from the heart, Cara, where I can only recite what I read.

Lily: I don't know.

Damian: I really want to make this happen for Luke's sake. It could bring a much higher profile to the foundation. Et tu parles FranÁois, n'est-ce pas?

[Lily chuckles]

Lily: My French isn't what it used to be, Damian. I can still make myself understood.

Damian: What are we waiting for? Allons-Y.

Lily: Allons-Y.

Katie: It's just that Henry was acting so weird when we were talking with that pediatric geneticist.

Brad: Yeah, the Shmeglitz guy.

Katie: And it's not the first time that I've gotten a really odd vibe from him when it comes to this baby!

Vienna: Well, Brad's probably right. It's just normal anxiety. That's all.

Brad: Time. I mean, he probably just needs time.

Katie: Well, good. That's what we're giving him.

Vienna: Yes.

Katie: We're gonna give him some time instead of insisting that he's part of every little part of this process.

Vienna: Right, right. But keeping him in the dark will only make it worse!

Katie: We'll tell him about the childbirth classes later. Not today. Today's the first day, and I really want to enjoy it. And I'm not gonna be able to do that if I'm worried about Henry. So please, just for today? Just this once.

Vienna: Sure. Whatever you want. It's your baby.

Henry: I was a -- a father to my sisters, because my parents were either AWOL or crazy. And there was a lot of good times. I wouldn't have traded raising Maddie for anything in the world. But most of all, it was a thankless job. And, uh, I did happen to raise a psycho killer. You remember Eve? So -- I think the world would be a better place if I just swore off fatherhood altogether.

Bob: What happened with Eve would have happened no matter what you did. I know you love Maddie. But having a child, whether it's biological or adopted, is a lot different than taking care of younger siblings. It's a different level of love.

Henry: But you still get the sorrow and the worry and the heartache, right?

Bob: But I'll tell you, when you hold your child and you look into those eyes, nothing will ever be the same again. It's a profound experience -- maybe the most profound experience. Be a shame if you missed out on that.

Henry: It's obviously meant a lot to you. But I'm not you.

Bob: Listen, nothing says you can't be a good father if you want to be. It's your choice.

[Cell phone rings]

Bob: That's Kim. I got to take it.

Henry: Sure.

Bob: Hello, there.

Kim: Hello yourself.

[Kim laughs]

Kim: Listen, Sweetie. I'm trying to schedule a childbirth class for Brad, Katie, and Vienna this afternoon for a reality show. And I'm wondering if you have a room here in the hospital that we might use.

Bob: Uh, tell Perri she can use Room 302.

Kim: Fabulous. That's a huge help, Darling.

Bob: Nice to have connections, huh? I'll see you later. Well, Henry, you're really in a unique situation.

[Henry chuckles]

Henry: You bet I am. I mean what?

Bob: Well, you and Vienna are going to have a dress rehearsal in parenthood without the obligation.

Henry: Come again?

Bob: Well, Kim just told me that Vienna's going to the hospital for a childbirth class.

Henry: When?

Bob: Later today, with Katie and Brad and one of our instructors.

Henry: Really?

Bob: Yeah.

Henry: Well, if they think they're doing that without me, they've got another thing coming.

Perri: Hello, and welcome to the first in our series of childbirth classes. Why don't we begin with an easy question? Which one is the mother?

[Perri laughs]

Perri: Not such an easy question.

Katie: I'm the mother. This is our dear friend Vienna. She's our surrogate.

Perri: Oh. Okay, Vienna, why don't you come and stand over here? Is this your first experience with childbirth?

Vienna: Yes, it is.

Perri: Oh. Well, many of the new mothers feel overwhelmed by the experience. It's the lack of knowing what's going to happen that causes the anxiety and the fears.

Vienna: Oh, I'm not afraid.

Katie: Right. Vienna and I have been reading up on all of this. Oh, and we've decided to do this completely naturally -- no medication.

Vienna: No, actually, we haven't really decided that yet.

Katie: Yeah, we talked about that, the effect the medication can have on the baby.

Vienna: Well, what about the affect it has on the mother? A little bit of medication will take all the pain away.

Katie: But what about what's good for the baby.

Brad: You know what? You know what? We can ask Perri all that after class. And right now, she's supposed to be running things, so why don't we just let her run them?

Perri: Okay. Well, the first thing we're gonna start with is relaxation exercises. Vienna, why don't you lie down here on the floor?

Vienna: Okay.

Perri: I'll get a pillow for you. Okay. Just relax your body. That's it. Let all of the tension go.

Vienna: Oh, I don't have any tension.

Perri: Oh, well, maybe not right now, but when you do, these exercises are gonna come in very handy. Now, Brad and Katie, why don't you lie on either side of Vienna.

Brad: Okay.

Perri: I find that it's very helpful for the coaches to share as many experiences as possible with the birth mother.

Katie: I think it makes sense for the mothers to lay next to each other, don't you, Perri?

Perri: Whatever you're comfortable with. Okay. Now, let's just all be silent. Close your eyes. Let's listen to the rhythm of our breathing. On the count of three, we're going to inhale. 1, 2, 3. And on the count of three, exhale. 1, 2, and 3.

[Vienna exhales]

[Cell phone rings]

Vienna: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I need to take this. I'll be back breathing in a minute.

[Vienna groans]

Vienna: Hello, Henry.

Henry: Hello, Liebchen. What's new?

Vienna: You sound angry.

Henry: Angry? What should I have to be angry about? It's not like you and Brad and Katie are at a childbirth class that you didn't tell me about.

Vienna: I wanted to tell you, but they wouldn't let me.

Henry: Clearly they let you have phone privileges. You could have called.

Vienna: Yeah, well, you're not missing out on anything. All we're doing right now is learning how to breathe.

Henry: Breathe? That sounds -- that sounds really nice to me, because I feel like I have a giant stone sitting on my chest. Actually, you know what? Its two stones shaped like Katie and Brad. How could they do this? Whose baby do they think this is?

Vienna: They think it's Brad's baby. And don't you forget it!

Damian: You were incredible. You completely blew Antoine away.

[Lily chuckles]

Lily: You really think so?

Damian: I know so! It's unusual for him to be so generous to a foundation as new as this one, and it's all due to you.

Lily: Well, thank you. But I got the feeling that Mr. Laudel was in debt to you in some way. Did you do something for him in the past? Do I not want to know?

Damian: I just let him in on a few good business opportunities. That's all. Nothing questionable.

Lily: I didn't mean to imply. I know you've changed, Damian.

Damian: If you trust that, then trust me now. We made a big impression on Monsieur Laudel. And you know why? Because we make a great team. That's why.

[Lily laughs]

Vienna: Ahh. Oh, this is wonderful. But what does this have to do with giving birth?

Perri: Well, this is just one of many techniques that's gonna help you to relax, both in pregnancy and during labor. You're very lucky to have two coaches. For example, and this is something I normally wouldn't teach until the end of the third trimester, but it can give you a way of understanding how you can work together during the actual birth itself, okay? Now, um, Vienna, lets have you lie down, just like this. And let's bring your knees up. Okay, just like this. Now, Katie, you're gonna stay right there her head. And, Brad, let's position you right here.

Katie: There? Uh, really?

Perri: Now, Katie, your job is going to be to count Vienna's breaths and make sure she's breathing correctly. Brad, you're gonna offer encouraging words. You're gonna support the doctor and just help Vienna to relax.

Katie: Yeah, I don't know how relaxed I'm gonna be with my husband looking, uh, you know --

[Vienna laughing]

Vienna: I'm never gonna get used to how prudish you Americans are. I mean --

[Vienna stammers]

Vienna: -- I could be laying here naked, and it wouldn't mean a thing to Brad, would it?

Brad: Uh --

Vienna: You see? All he can see is the mother of his child, not a woman.

Perri: Well, you're right about one thing, Vienna. Your body is not gonna be viewed in a sensual way, because it's doing a very important job. It is the gateway to parenthood.

Brad: Okay. I'll just hang out down here by Vienna's gateway. And, um, I'm not exactly -- I'm not exactly sure what --

Perri: Okay, now, lets just do a mock childbirth exercise, okay? Vienna, you start panting. Katie, I want you to start counting her breaths.

Katie: 1, 2 --

Brad: Okay, what am I supposed to do?

Perri: You're supposed to be offering encouraging words. It's a very stressful time for the mother, and you're gonna be giving Vienna all the support you can.

Brad: Okay, all right. Okay, all right, all right. All right, Vienna! You can do it! Come on! You can do this! Come on! We're going all the way with this here! Bring it home, baby! Kick that baby right through your gateway!

Henry: Hey, hey, hey, hey! What are you doing to her?!

Luke: That was an awesome game.

Noah: Yeah. You know, the best part for me was just seeing the city from the plane as we landed.

Luke: Yeah. You got the skyline, Statue of Liberty -- the whole nine yards.

Noah: Last time I was here was such a short time. Was not the best time, either.

Luke: Well, maybe we can replace some of those bad memories with some new, better ones.

Holden: Maybe we can stick around for a few hours after we eat. Anything else you guys want to do while we're here?

Noah: Do we have time.

Holden: Hey, we got Lucindaís jet. We can do anything we want to do. You know, there was this restaurant that your mother and I went to a couple of years ago. Let me see if I can find it. I'll call you guys and let you know where I am. Speaking of which, I need to call your mother, let her know where we are.

Luke: Okay, that sounds great. And -- and we'll just meet you at the restaurant?

Holden: Sounds good. You guys take all the time you need, all right?

[Luke laughs]

Luke: Thanks, Dad.

Noah: We'll be expecting your call.

Henry: You get away from her!

Brad: Take it easy. I was just looking at her as a gateway, I swear!

Henry: Consider her gateway closed, all right?

Brad: Okay, cut. Cut.

Kim: No. Keep it rolling.

Cameraman: Sorry, Dude.

Kim: Okay, let's take this outside.

Katie: Let me. Let me. What do you think you're doing?

Henry: What am I doing? What is your husband doing?! No wonder he didn't want me to show up here.

Katie: I'm the one who didn't want you here!

Henry: You?

Katie: Yeah. You're acting completely insane right now!

Henry: I'm sorry, Katie. See how you react when someone tries to cut you out of the birth of your -- your best friend's baby, okay?

Katie: Look, you know how much Brad and I appreciate everything you and Vienna are doing for us. And maybe it was a bad idea not to include you in this class.

Henry: Oh, there's no "Maybe" about it.

Katie: But lately, you have been acting really possessive and jealous and just weird!

Henry: Weird?! I've been acting weird?! Maybe it's because --

[Henry stammers]

Henry: It doesn't get weirder than this, okay?!

Katie: You and I have been in a lot weirder situations together. So tell me, please, what is going on with you?!

Henry: I just -- look we are about to take responsibility for this whole new life.

Katie: Yeah.

Henry: Yes, and it's -- it's not one with pink eyes and a fluffy tail, okay?

Katie: Are you having second thoughts about this arrangement? Because if you are, we are having a bigger problem than I thought.

Henry: You've got a problem, Sweetheart. That's what I've been trying to tell you. Children are nothing but trouble.

Katie: That's why Brad and I are gonna raise the baby, not you! You can't change your mind now, you know?! We're past the point of no return.

Damian: You know, we have some time before our plane leaves. Maybe we should, uh, grab a bite to eat somewhere.

Lily: I think we should head to the airport, just to be on the safe side.

Damian: Are you sure you want to give up this opportunity? Thousands of wonderful restaurants are calling us. Can't you hear them? "Lily! Lily, come and eat! Lily!"

[Lily laughs]

Lily: I do know a wonderful restaurant not far from here, and I haven't been there in ages.

Holden: You know what? Give me a soda. I'll have a ginger ale.

Lily: Holden! I was just about to call you.

Holden: Listen, you're never gonna guess where I am.

Lily: That's so funny, because you'll never guess where I'm sitting right now.

Holden: Do you remember that restaurant that we went to a couple of years ago in New York?

Lily: How did you know?

Holden: How did I know what?

Lily: Where I was.

Holden: No, no, no. I'm talking about where I am.

Lily: You don't mean --

[Both laughing]

Holden: I don't believe this.

Lily: You first!

Holden: Well, the Cubs were playing the Mets, so we borrowed Lucindaís jet, and we came to New York.

Lily: I didn't realize you were so desperate to see the Cubs.

Holden: Well, I wasn't desperate, but I wanted to do something special for the boys. And I'm glad I did. Turns out we had a great time.

Lily: Oh, I'm sure you all needed it.

Holden: How did you end up in New York?

Lily: I had an impromptu business meeting.

Holden: You know what? This reminds me of that movie that my mother loved so much where that couple, they go to New York. What -- what's the name of it?

Lily: "An Affair to Remember."

Holden: That's it, that's it. So, how did you remember this place?

Lily: We had such an incredible time here. How could I forget?

Holden: We did have a good time. Had a pretty good time afterwards, yeah.

Lily: You remember that, too, I see.

Holden: I don't know if it was the wine or if it was the restaurant or just being in New York, but it was a good time.

Lily: Yeah, it was. Where are the boys? Did you just leave them to fend for themselves?

Holden: No, they're gonna hook up with us a little bit later. So why don't we just, uh, sit here, have a nice lunch, and, uh, have a romantic afternoon together?

Damian: Holden. What a surprise.  

Holden: This is, uh -- this is quite a surprise, Damian.

Lily: Holden was just telling me how he brought the boys to New York to see a Cubs game, and I was just about to explain about Mr. Laurel.

Damian: I triumph, thanks to your wife. I'm glad you're here so she can tell you all about it.

Holden: Oh, I can't wait.

Damian: What a coincidence, huh, to end up in the same restaurant? But, of course, Lily mentioned that she'd been here with you before, so it makes sense. Let me grab a chair.

Holden: You told Damian about this place?

Lily: Just that it was a nice restaurant.

Holden: Thought it meant a little more than that.

[Holden groans]

Damian: So what do you say? Should we all celebrate?

Holden: You know what? I think I'm gonna pass. I'm actually waiting for Luke and Noah.

Damian: Luke and Noah are gonna be here, too? Well, we'll need a larger table. Let me take care of that. Excuse me.

Holden: So how did all this happen? How did you end up here?

Lily: Holden, I knew that you were taking the boys to the baseball game, and I figured you'd go to dinner afterwards. I thought I'd be home long before you were.

Holden: Why didn't you call to tell me where you were?

Lily: I could have called, yes, but I thought if I told you that I was going to New York with Damian, you'd be upset.

Damian: It's all taken care of. What do you guys say we have something to drink, huh? Oh, you're here. Great. They seem to have a fantastic wine list. I say we should start with, some romanee-conti. How does that sound?

Holden: Uh, beer for me. Whatever you have on tap.

Noah: New York is a pretty undisappointing town.

Luke: New York, New York. So nice they named it twice. I mean, it's got such a different kind of energy than Chicago, you know? Sounds like you really like it here.

Noah: I could see myself living here, feeling comfortable. I mean, or at least eventually. Hey! Do you want to move here?

[Luke laughs]

Luke: Yeah. How about tomorrow?

Noah: No, I'm -- I'm serious. I mean, we could finish school here. We could get our own place. We could start our own lives here.

Luke: That sounds great.

Noah: But?

Luke: But I got to be honest with you. I can't picture myself here, at least not permanently. Maybe I'm just too attached to my family.

Noah: I understand that. I mean, you guys are really close.

Luke: Well, maybe we can move here later -- like way later, like 10 years from now.

[Luke chuckles]

Noah: So you see yourself with me in 10 years, huh? Is that a proposal, Mr. Snyder?

[Luke laughs]

Luke: In your dreams. This is crazy. All of the sudden, you're Mr. Spontaneous and I'm captain cautious.

Noah: Yeah, well, Mr. Spontaneous is hungry.

Luke: Ah! Captain cautious to the rescue! Let's find my dad and get you fed.

Noah: Okay.

Katie: In a few months, this is all gonna be over. The baby's gonna be born and out of your hair. Brad and I are gonna take care of it and raise it.

Henry: Right, and I won't have anything to say about it. Yeah, I -- I know that.

Katie: But you'll be part of the baby's life. You're gonna be a Godfather.

Henry: Please don't call me that. It makes me think I have to put a horse's head in somebody's bed.

Katie: I know it's not the same as being a father yourself, but hey, that's a good situation for you. You never wanted to be a father anyway.

Henry: Of course not.

Katie: I can't imagine anyone I would rather have as the Godfather to my child. I know you're feeling left out right now, but really, this is the best possible situation for all of us.

Henry: It's for the best. It's for the best.

Katie: Okay, good. So come on. Let's go do this together.

Henry: Oh, I could never say no to you.

[Henry chuckles]

Perri: Katie, let me introduce you to your botbaby.

Katie: Oh, my God!

Perri: Cries, it wets and generally acts like a real baby until you rock it, burp it, or change it. It's great parent practice.

Brad: You mean it's not -- it's not wet right now, is it?

Perri: Well, if it is, you're gonna have to change it. If you don't take care of botbaby, if you leave it alone, dies.

Vienna: It could die? Katie? What?! That's horrible!

Brad: Oh, no. No baby of ours is gonna give up the ghost, not even babybot.

Katie: Botbaby.

Brad: Botbaby.

Vienna: Oh. Well, that botbaby sounds very unhappy.

[Brad laughs]

Katie: I have an idea. Godfather, why don't you earn your title?

Henry: No, no, no. Break -- I might break it.

Vienna: Oh, no, no. Don't be silly. Just hold it. It won't bite you.

Henry: You don't know that. Some of them are born with teeth.

[Crying stops]

Henry: Ah, you're a genius!

Katie: I knew you were the right man for the job.

Perri: One of the biggest controversies in the childcare community is whether or not you ever allow a baby to cry itself to sleep.

Brad: Well, it's got to man up sometime, right?

Katie: Do you hear yourself half the time? You're only saying that because you can sleep through anything.

Brad: Well, I mean, if you think I'm gonna wake up every time little Brad or Bradette cries, I mean, no way.

Perri: As you can see, problems that were academic before the baby was born are anything but when the time comes?

Vienna: Like if the mother should take pain medication during labor?

Katie: We'll talk about that later. Henry, give me my botbaby. Henry? Where is he?

Damian: Hope you like the wine.

Lily: It's wonderful. How's your beer?

Holden: Fine.

Lily: Did you have a hard time convincing my mother to let you use the jet?

Holden: No, no, not at all. You know how Lucinda is. She loves Luke. She's all about family.

Luke: What are my mom and Damian doing here?

Noah: Guess we'll find out, won't we?

Luke: Mom, I thought you were at work.

Lily: I was.

Luke: Well, since when is work in New York City? Especially at a restaurant with Damian.

Lily: You can lose the attitude, Luke.

Damian: Luke, I needed your mother's expertise, and she was kind enough to agree. What until we tell you why. It's gonna make you so happy.

Luke: Yeah, I'm sure. What do you think about this?

Holden: It's a coincidence. Let's just leave it at that.

Luke: Are you saying you're okay with this?

Noah: Um, Luke, maybe this isn't any of our business.

Lily: Actually it is, but not in the way you think. The reason Damian came to New York and the reason he persuaded me to join him is because of you, and a man named Antoine Laudel.

Luke: Of the Laudel foundation?

Noah: Are -- are they important?

Luke: Yeah. They're like one of the biggest organizations that donates money to hospitals and other -- other groups that help disabled children.

Lily: Exactly, which is why Damian went straight to the source.

Damian: Your mother told me you wanted to extend the reach of your foundation, and, uh, Laudel is an old friend of mine. I thought a partnership might work.

Lily: And now you can use the prestige of the Laudel foundation and all his resources to expand our range.

Damian: Now you can reach a lot more people.

Luke: That sounds great!

Lily: Yeah. I know that you've been wanting to fill in the gaps left by the other institutions. I mean, so many of them had to have cutbacks because of the economy.

Noah: Wow! That sounds like Damian's been a really big help!

Lily: And you should have heard the way Damian described you to Mr. Laurel. "A courageous young man with deep personal commitment."

Damian: I spoke the truth.

Lily: Laudel is so excited to work with us, he can't wait. I'm gonna meet with his people tomorrow, and we're gonna hammer out all the details.

Luke: Well, I am really sorry about my attitude.

Lily: Apology accepted.

Luke: Damian, I really appreciate what you did on my behalf.

Damian: It was my pleasure. I just hope I can do more to extend the goals of your foundation, that's all, if you'll let me.

Luke: Sure!

Lily: Damian, our flight is leaving soon. We should head for the airport.

Damian: Right.

Holden: Why don't you come on the jet with us? Damian, you're welcome to come. This way you can fill Luke in on the details of the meeting.

Damian: Holden, I appreciate your offer, but I don't want to disrupt your plans any more than I already have. Lily, please go with your family. I'll be fine.

Lily: You sure?

Damian: I'm sure. Thanks. Goodbye.

Luke: Thanks, Damian. I really do appreciate it.

Kim: The taping -- the taping was a complete disaster.

Bob: I can't believe Henry took off with the botbaby.

Kim: Oh, believe it.

Bob: You know, I had a conversation with him earlier, and he's absolutely torn about this surrogate business.

Kim: Do you think that he's sorry that Vienna got involved with this?

Bob: I don't know, but I got the impression that he's trying to figure out if he ever wants to be a father himself one day. He's scared to death.

Kim: Well, I mean, that happens with a lot of men. What about you? I mean, were you afraid back the first time?

Bob: Back when the earth was cooling?

[Kim laughs]

Bob: Lisa told me that she was pregnant with Tom, I was scared out of my wits.

Kim: Yes, but, I mean, that had more to do with what was going on with Lisa. That didn't have anything to do with Tom, right?

Bob: I guess you're right. But then again, things all managed to work out.

Kim: Yeah, they certainly did with Tom. Let's hope we're as lucky with Chris. It's never been easy sliding with him.

Bob: Mm, certainly not recently. But he knows we both love him, and that's all we can do right now.

Kim: Mm.

Bob: Ooh! What did I do to deserve that?

[Kim laughs]

Kim: Well, you are a very wise man and a world-class father.

Bob: Finally noticed that.

Kim: But I'm still worried about Henry.

Bob: I'm worried about Memorial and the botbaby. You know, those things cost a fortune.

Kim: What does he want with a baby doll?! Listen, if he doesn't come back, I promise you, we will reimburse you. The station will.

Bob: Well, that's good to know.

[Kim sighs]

Kim: Just hope Henry's able to control himself.

Bob: I think it's good that Brad is the father and not Henry. Parenthood is not for wimps.

[Kim sighs]

Kim: Amen to that.

Vienna: Henry.

Henry: Shh! I finally got him to sleep!

Vienna: I was worried about you.

Henry: Yeah, I know, I know. I was worried, too. It -- it took three verses of "Luck be a lady" before he finally knocked off. That always used to put Maddie right to sleep.

Vienna: Okay. Why don't you give it to me so I can take it back where it belongs?

Henry: No! You can't have him! It's mine.

Brad: Come on, Henry. Where are you?

[Brad whistles]

Katie: Brad, he's not a dog.

Brad: Yeah, well, he's not a friend, either, taking off with our botbaby like that.

Katie: Maybe he's having a nervous breakdown. What if he takes our real baby, too? Oh, my God. This is what that psychic was talking about!

Brad: That something horrible is gonna happen to the baby because of Henry? Now, come on. Katie, please. Okay, come on. Don't be ridiculous. Dr. Shmeglitz said the baby's gonna be perfectly fine. I'll take -- I'll take science over a psychic any day.

Katie: You're right, you're right. I'm taking stock in the wrong things.

Brad: You know, when we got the botbaby back, I'm gonna give Henry a very strong reminder that worrying my wife is a very bad idea. Look, this is all gonna blow over.

Katie: Brad, look at this!

Brad: Okay. Yo's is having a comedy night. If you want to go --

Katie: Look at the face! It's Dr. Shmeglitz.

Brad: All right. Our pediatric geneticist is doing stand-up. I guess cutbacks at Memorial are really bad.

Luke: Dad, today was really, really great. Noah and I can't thank you enough.

Holden: I should thank you. Gave me a great excuse to play hooky.

[Luke laughs]

Luke: You know, I think Noah forgot about Zac and ZoŽ and the hospital. That's exactly what he needed.

Holden: Well, that's what I'd hoped for. I'm glad it all worked out.

Luke: And about Damian -- what he did today -- well, that was awesome.

Holden: Yeah. If it ends up helping the foundation, it is a good thing.

Luke: But I want you to know that I haven't totally forgotten what you told me. You know, my guard is not completely down around him.

Holden: I think that's wise.

Luke: It's just that I really want to believe that he means well.

Holden: So do I.

Luke: I should probably check on Noah before we board.

Holden: Okay. Ready to go?

Lily: Not before you tell me how you're really feeling.

Holden: What should I be feeling?

Lily: Happy that your son's foundation got some much-needed support. Holden, are we okay? Because being with Damian today -- that was all about Luke. You do know that, don't you?

Holden: I do know that. It's just things tend to get messed up when we don't communicate.

Lily: That's true.

Holden: When we talk, things are fine. When we don't talk, that's when I start to worry.

Lily: You have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Holden: I know that. Sometimes it's just good to hear it, though.

Noah: I think your parents have the right idea.

[Noah groans]

Luke: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Watch your arm.

Noah: What arm?

[Noah chuckles]

Noah: I hope you're happy. Both your dads came through for you today.

Luke: Yeah. Yeah, they did.

Damian: My flight has been delayed, so I'm still in New York. That's true. True. But I need to make something clear. I realize that our whole enterprise can be exposed, but my involvement in it canít. Now more than ever, I need to keep my private business private.

Katie: Is this man a doctor on your staff?

[Bob laughs]

Bob: No, no. I wish he were. We could use a few laughs around here.

Brad: Are you sure you don't recognize him?

Bob: I have no knowledge of any doctor here who moonlights as a stand-up comic.

Katie: So you're sure this isn't Dr. Shmeglitz?

[Bob chuckles]

Bob: Dr. Who?

Katie: Dr. Shmeglitz. He's a pediatric geneticist.

Bob: There is no Dr. Shmeglitz in this hospital. If there were, I would know about it. Good luck finding Henry.

Katie: Something is very wrong.

Vienna: I know you've been very stressed lately, and it's okay. But it's all going to be fine.

Henry: I know that now.

Vienna: I'll get you a martini, a massage -- anything you need. We can even do headmistress and the naughty schoolboy. Okay, but you have to let me return the doll. That's all that it is. It's a doll, Henry. It's not real.

Henry: Okay. Don't blame me if he starts crying.

[Vienna sighs]

Vienna: My God. You had me scared the way you were talking.

Henry: Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.

Vienna: Okay. It's okay. Once we can return this to Brad and Katie, we can all go back to normal.

Henry: Well, they can have the doll, but there's no way they're taking our baby.

Vienna: What?

Henry: It's funny, right? I'm as surprised as you are. I never expected to feel this way, and I keep trying to fight it, but I'm not gonna do that anymore.

Vienna: What do you mean, Henry?

Henry: This is our baby, and there's way that I'm letting Brad and Katie have it.

On the next "As the World Turns" --

Dusty: Forget something?

Meg: Forgot this. What can I do to get you to let me stay here?

Paul: You can beg.

Shmeglitz: I don't know about your baby, okay? I only said what she paid me to say.

Brad: She?

Katie: Who is she?

Brad: Then how can Vienna be pregnant?

Katie: I think I know.

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