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As The World Turns Transcript Wednesday 4/16/08
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Proofread By Emma
Brad: Oh, man.
P.A.: For our very own star and bride-to-be.
Katie: Thank you, Dana. These are beautiful. Thank you, Guys.
Brad: Yeah, thank you. You guys are awesome. I'm telling you, when this wedding hits the airwaves, every other network is going to be eating their hearts out.
Katie: Absolutely. Thank you.
Brad: Thank you. Thank you. It looks great.
Katie: All right, out with it, Mister. These flowers are from you, aren't they?
Brad: Well, I cannot tell a lie, especially on my wedding day.
Katie: You just feel sorry for me because Margo bailed on being my matron of honor.
Brad: What are we going to do about a best man for me and you standing there all by your lonesome?
Katie: It's no big deal.
Kim: Hey, today, everything's a big deal. What's going on?
Katie: I'm missing a matron of honor, but I'm fine with it, really.
Kim: Well, I'm not. Honey, your wedding is going on the air this afternoon. It has to be perfect. So, find somebody. Fast.
Henry: Oh, no. You're not getting an addiction to those shopping channels, are you, Mike? They sell those little dolls. You know, are you starting a collection? That's sweet.
Mike: No. It was a wedding gift for Katie. She didn't want it. She didn't want me, either, as it turns out.
Henry: Well, I'm sorry, Sport. But like I said, you should leave well enough alone.
Mike: Yeah, I should have listened to you. Instead, I barged into her room and I kissed her --
Henry: Wait a second, you were in her room?
Mike: Yeah, Lisa gave me the key. And I just -- yeah, God, it was such a bad idea. Katie ended up throwing me out.
Mike: I should have -- I should have just tried to fix the marriage when I had the chance. When she cheated with Simon, I just walked out, never looked back.
Henry: Well, hey, Buddy, you were hurt, you know?
Mike: So was she. I guess she's got Brad Snyder to take care of that now. What do you think, Henry? Is she -- is she really going with the right guy? Is he the right guy for her?
Henry: I don't know, but she's smiling again. And I was beginning to worry that wasn't ever going to happen.
Mike: So they had a few laughs together, you know. She is not in love with him. And you know why? Because she still has feelings for me.
Henry: That may be true. But if she tossed you out of her room, it may not be the feelings that you were hoping for.
Mike: Katie may be putting on a good show, Henry, but she is not over me. Not even close.
Carly: Are you telling me there's nothing you can do about it? I'll let you know. Damn it.
Jack: What's going on?
Carly: The security alarm at the club is broken and my insurance company won't renew the policy until it's fixed.
Jack: And you can't open unless you have an alarm that meets inspection.
Jack: Well, I'm not due at the station until later. So if you want me to, I can come down to the club with you, take a look at it. I know how those systems work.
Carly: You're being very nice. Is this your way of apologizing?
Lucinda: Come on, we've got to get going.
Lily: I know. I just have to get Faith and Natalieís lunches all ready.
Lucinda: What is so hard about lunch? What's gaga for the kids? We've got a sandwich. We've got yogurt, we've got all of that --
Lily: That's it. I forgot the yogurt.
Lucinda: It's disrespectful, Honey --
Lily: I know. I'm sorry. Let's go, I'm done --
Lucinda: To keep the workmen waiting --
Lily: It's all finished. Let's go, it's done.
Holden: Where are you two off to?
Lucinda: The cemetery.
Holden: The cemetery?
Lucinda: And we're late.
Lily: They're setting Dusty's headstone today. We thought someone should be here.
Holden: And you weren't going to tell me, were you?
Brad: Who are we going to get to stand up for you at this late date?
Katie: I can't believe we never thought about it before. Vienna. She's my best girlfriend. She's been trying to get us together for months.
Brad: Vienna, the goddess of romance. Yeah, that's a perfect job. Oh, I'm just kidding. It's a good choice. It's a good choice.
Katie: Right. I'm on it.
Brad: Wait, wait, wait -- okay, before you go, is there any way you and your sister can patch things up before the wedding?
Katie: Well, I can't say it doesn't make me sad. I mean, Margo's the only person from my family that can stand up for me. But I only want her there if she's happy for us, and she's not, so --
Brad: There you go.
Kim: Oh, golly, I'm drowning in details. Do you have anything new on the maid of honor crisis?
Brad: Katie's on it. But since we're talking about the wedding party, what do you say that we have Snickers for the ring bearer?
Kim: Very funny. Do you have any idea who Katie's going to ask?
Brad: I do. I do. But I think I can go one better. All right.
Henry: You might as well make peace with it, Mike. Katie is getting married today and you are not the groom.
Mike: Where's the wedding?
Henry: Well, it was supposed to be at Tom and Margoís. But I guess Margo and Katie had some kind of falling out -- don't ask. So now they're doing it on the TV show.
Mike: Seriously? Like a novelty act?
Henry: No, no, no, no, no. I'm sure it'll be -- it'll be tasteful.
Mike: I can't imagine Katie wanting to take something that is so personal and sacred and flaunting it on TV.
Henry: Well, maybe she wanted the whole world to know that she and Brad are for real.
Mike: And maybe if she really loved him, she wouldn't turn the whole thing into a three ring circus. Sounds to me like the bride is overcompensating. Big time.
Jack: I don't think I have anything to apologize for. I was simply offering to help you out so you can get your club open and get back to work. Just doing what I can to keep the peace.
Carly: Good old Jack. Don't you ever tire of being the hero?
Jack: I repeat, I'm trying to help.
Carly: Well, Jack, no thank you. I think I will leave the repairs to the experts. Maybe you can try to rescue somebody else. In case you haven't noticed, I can take care of myself.
Jack: I meant what I said before, Carly. I'd like us to try to be friends.
Carly: Oh, Jack, I think that ship has sailed.
Lily: I knew how upset you were when the box of Dusty's things arrived. I didn't want to upset you any further by telling you I was going to the cemetery.
Lucinda: Hey, hello, could we just all be reasonable and calm? Dusty's dead. Barbara is his closest relative, but several times removed. But anyway, she's unavailable. I thought that it would be nice to have a human face on things -- someone should be there to see that the stone is placed --
Holden: Lucinda, with all due respect, this is between me and my wife.
Lily: Can we not fight about this? I mean, I should have told you sooner, but I hoped you wouldn't mind if I went and paid my respects.
Lucinda: Oh, for pity's sake, Holden --
Lily: Just stay out of this, Mother, please.
Holden: Lily, Lily -- go ahead. I'm not going to stop you.
Lucinda: Thank you. Thank you. Hallelujah.
Brad: What happened between you and Katie?
Margo: I don't know --
Brad: Today is her wedding day. She needs you.
Margo: No, no, no, Brad, why don't you go and ask the woman you're planning on spending the rest of your life --
Brad: I just don't understand why you decided to pick up your marbles and go home.
Margo: Because I don't want to see my sister get hurt again.
Brad: No, Jack did that. It's -- it's not me. And if her sister's sitting out on her wedding, then you need to tell me why.
Margo: All right, I will. Mike.
Henry: You are delusional if you think you can stop Katie from getting married today.
Mike: Watch me.
Henry: It's not going to happen. You two are history. Can you just leave her alone, let her be happy?
Mike: I'm sorry, Henry, I canít. There's too much at stake.
Henry: Sometimes it's no damn fun being right. Hey, good looking.
Katie: Hey. What was Mike doing here?
Henry: Just having breakfast. And what would the radiant bride like to eat?
Katie: I'm not hungry. I was wanting to speak to Vienna. Where is she?
Henry: Well, she's unfortunately been barred from the diner.
Katie: I thought you two were doing okay now?
Henry: No, it's nothing like that. She just -- she has the chicken pox.
Henry: No, I'm serious. I mean, she's contagious. She's quarantined.
Katie: No, no -- this cannot be happening.
Carly: What do you mean you can't get anybody to fix it until next week? That is absolutely unacceptable! What are you doing here, Jack? I thought I made it pretty clear that I do not need your help. What is this? You think that I can't handle my own business? Oh, that's right, because I'm only capable of being competent in bed.
Jack: Oh, Carly --
Carly: What's the matter? You feeling guilty for treating me like dirt? Well, I herby absolve you of your guilt, all right? Now, get out of here and leave me the hell alone!
Lucinda: I hope you don't mind me asking, but why -- why does Holden look for trouble when there isn't any? I don't know, is there something going on that I want not of? Because I thought the two of you were making progress. Is the marriage in trouble again?
Brad: Margo, Mike hurt Katie. He made her feel really bad about herself. That's not a place that she wants to go back to. I'm not worried about him. And you shouldn't be, either.
Margo: Well, I am worried. I am. I've known Katie a lot longer than you, and she doesn't always do what's best for her.
Brad: That was before. She knows what she wants now.
Margo: You don't know how I wish I could believe that. But I canít. I just canít. And I can't put on a happy face and witness a marriage that I know already has so many strikes against it.
Brad: Hey -- you know, thank you for the vote of confidence.
Margo: Well, I'm just being honest with you, Brad. Which is more than Katie is doing right now.
Katie: What am I going to do, Henry? Oh, Kim is going to kill me.
Henry: That's it -- that's it -- Kim!
Katie: My boss? Are you kidding me? How pathetic is that? I'll look like a loser.
Henry: No, you are not a loser. You are far from it.
Katie: There's got to be someone. How many women do you know who can't come up with one single person to ask to be their maid of honor?
Henry: What about -- what about Nancy Hughes? You two are always so close.
Katie: I love Nancy, but I'm not going to ask her -- I'm not going to put her in the middle of this family feud. There has to be someone else. Henry, please, think.
Henry: I am thinking. I'm thinking, I'm thinking -- I'm just coming up -- I'm coming up dry here.
Katie: How is that? That's not you. You're Henry Coleman. You're my go-to-guy. You're my best friend. You -- oh, my God, it's right in front of me.
Henry: What? No, no, no, no.
Katie: Oh, come on. Henry, you haven't dressed up for me in ages.
Henry: No, forget about it, Bubbles, okay. You bring out a bridesmaid dress, and this is the end of a beautiful friendship.
Katie: You stood up for me once before.
Henry: Yeah, I married you once before, too. That doesn't mean I want to do a comeback tour.
Katie: Well, I was just kidding about the bridesmaid's dress. You can wear whatever you want. Come on. You'll be my male maid of honor. You'll be my male of honor. The fans will love it.
Henry: There's just -- there's only one problem.
Katie: What's that?
Henry: Brad asked me to be his best man and I said yes.
Katie: So, you'll just move over to my side of the altar.
Henry: Really? And then what about Brad? How is he going to feel if I ditch him on his wedding day?
Katie: He has plenty of guys to ask. His family is loaded with them. He'll be fine. But you're my best friend in the whole world and it would really mean the world to me if you would just stand next to me, please. Come on, Henry, do this for me.
Margo: Oh, Brad, you are kidding yourself and so is Katie.
Brad: I just can't believe that Katie's ex shows up, acts like a complete jerk and you think that's reason to call off the wedding.
Margo: I told you, I just don't want to see my sister get hurt.
Brad: The only -- the only person that could hurt Katie right now is me. That's not going to happen, Margo. I mean, yes, there's no secret that I was a player back in my day. But I met Katie and I've changed. I love her and I always will.
Margo: Jury's still out on that, Brad.
Brad: Has anyone ever told you what a hard ass you are?
Katie: Please, Henry.
Henry: Oh --
Katie: Pretty please.
Henry: Stop it.
Katie: You'll be my best friend-of-honor. My stand-up-guy. Say yes. Say yes!
Henry: Okay, okay, okay. You know how to break a man down. All right, I'm in.
Katie: I love you. Love you, love you.
Henry: There's just one condition, Katie.
Katie: Anything, name it.
Henry: I will not carry a bouquet.
Katie: You got it.
Henry: Great. Now you have the unfortunate job of telling your groom that he does not have a best man, and you cannot blame it on me.
Katie: I wouldn't dare. Brad will be fine with it. He's been bending over backwards to make sure this wedding is everything I've ever wanted.
Henry: Well, that's because he's crazy about you, you know that?
Katie: I know. And I love him, too. And when we say our vows, Margo and everyone else who had their doubts is going to see that we really do belong together.
Henry: Yeah. Can I offer a suggestion to sort of nudge that along?
Katie: Yeah, I'm listening.
Henry: Well, Brad still needs a best man, right? So, what if he asked Jack? That will prove that you Guys have left the past behind and are moving on.
Katie: But asking the brother who was once married to the bride? I don't know. Brad will never go for it.
Henry: Then I guess it's up to you. You know that song? "Time in a Bottle"?
Carly: Did you hear a word I just said?
Jack: Can't talk to you right now, Carly. I'm working.
Carly: If you're not going to do as I ask, can you at least listen to me? We made love and it was wonderful. And then you turned around and you told me it was a mistake. You aren't even willing to try and build a new relationship with me. You just want to be there for the kids while I play cook and maid. And I can't do it. I cannot be around you day and night and not hold you here. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl, Jack. You know that about me. And what you are asking is impossible.
Jack: Well, if you mean what you say about holding it together for the kids, you'll find a way to live with it.
Margo: Yes, I have been accused of being a hard ass. So let me give you a couple of hard ass words of wisdom here.
Brad: Do I have a choice?
Margo: No, no, you donít. I'm sure that Katie thinks that she loves you. Katie has been married five times and a lot of her choices have been impulsive. And her latest impulse is you. Now why do you suppose that is?
Brad: Maybe because she really does love me.
Margo: Or maybe because marrying you is the path of least resistance. Maybe you are the safe and easy choice.
Brad: Well, no one has ever accused me of being safe and easy before --
Margo: I'm sure they haven't, Brad. Now let me give you a piece of advice and I've given it to Katie as well. But I think that maybe you can hear it. Do not marry this woman until you are sure that you are the one that she wants to go the distance with. Do not marry this woman until you are sure that you are the one that can truly make her happy.
Brad: You don't think we've discussed this before --
Margo: And don't let Katie fool you. Make her prove it.
Brad: How am I supposed to do that?
Margo: That's your problem. I suggest you solve it before you marry her.
Lily: The truth be told, I love Holden more now than I ever did. More than the day that I met him, when he literally jumped out of our hay loft. Incredible day.
Lucinda: Oh, Baby, so good to hear you express what's really in your heart.
Lily: I know, but I'm not sure that Holden really trusts that. I do everything I can to reassure him that I love him. But I'm not sure he believes it.
Lucinda: At some point he has got to get -- let go of the feelings and his emotions about Dusty.
Lily: I know. But my affair with Dusty really -- really, really hurt him. But he just can't shake it.
Lucinda: Well, what we're doing today, Darling, is not the continuation of an affair.
Lily: I know --
Lucinda: We are visiting a very old friend, a childhood friend at his gravesite.
Lily: I know, I know. Did you hear what I said at the farm -- that that box of Dusty's things arrived and there were so many wonderful things in there. Pictures, Dusty's yearbooks, some blue ribbons from some of his horse-riding and even an audiotape of these songs that we used to listen to together when we were kids. And I got very emotional when I was going through that box. And I guess Holden believes today will be more of the same.
Lucinda: He cannot grudge you -- memories of an old friend. It's not healthy. Not for either of you. Okay, I'll have a talk with him.
Lily: No. Don't -- don't you dare!
Carly: I can't live by the new rules, Jack. I can't go from wanting to be your wife to wanting to be your pal.
Jack: I know you want more, Carly, but this is all I have to give right now. I'm sure you know all the reasons why.
Carly: Oh, here we go. Jack Snyderís lectures number 3,952. I know it by heart. It starts with how morally challenged I am. And then we can talk about all the lies and how I hurt everyone that I'm supposed to love. Now of course, I only did that after I was deeply hurt by you. But that doesn't matter in your by-the-book world. I don't live up your lofty standards, right? So now I'm banished.
Jack: I didn't come here to lecture you. I came here to fix your security system so you can get your business back on its feet.
Carly: Because you always do the right thing, G-man.
Jack: We're parents, Carly. We have children together. So, yeah, we're always going to be involved in each other's lives. What we have to do is find a way to make it work. Giving in to anger, it's only going to make matter worse.
Carly: I'm not expected to be angry? I am! I am really angry! You know that? I am really livid!
[Katie walks in]
Henry: Uh, brace yourself.
Brad: Why, who did she ask?
Henry: You're looking at him. I'm -- Brad, I'm sorry, she did everything but get down on her knees. I couldn't say no.
Brad: But who's going to stand up for me, Henry?
Henry: I'm -- Pal, I'm really sorry --
Brad: I thought -- I thought you were my friend?
Henry: I am your friend. But I'm Katie's friend first and besides she assured me you would have no problem finding a replacement. A Snyder man, perhaps?
Brad: Like who? J.J.? Parker? Forget it. I have an idea. Man, I don't know why I didn't think of this before? It's a no-brainer.
Henry: Brad, no-brainer -- not a good sign.
Jack: Stop it.
Carly: Oh, look who's here. What's the matter, Katie? Brad and Mike aren't enough for you? You still want Jack? Be my guest, he's all yours.
Katie: I'm sorry. I did not mean to interrupt or upset Carly more than she already was.
Jack: No, she was already upset long before you got here, Katie. It wasn't your fault.
Katie: Is everything okay? What's going on?
Jack: Well, we're trying to coexist to help the kids, but I don't know -- I think she wants more than I can deliver right now.
Katie: Are the kids okay?
Jack: Parker's doing much better, so that's a good thing.
Katie: Good. I'm so glad.
Jack: So, what are you doing here? Isn't this your wedding day?
Katie: It is my wedding day. And this is important. I have a favor to ask you. A really big one.
Mike: Look, if you're looking for a fight --
Brad: No, no, hey, no, no. It's just the opposite, Man, all right?
Mike: You want to be my friend?
Brad: I figured if you and Katie can stay friends, then I think that you and I can be friends, too. That's why I'm here.
Mike: Sorry, I'm missing something here.
Brad: There's something I need to ask you, one friend to another.
Lily: But please -- please do not talk to Holden. You'll only make things worse.
Lucinda: Ok, I promise I wonít.
Lily: Thank you.
Lucinda: You don't trust me, huh? I don't trust myself either after the mess I made with Evan Walsh.
Lily: Please, you didn't intend for anybody to get hurt. And I'm glad that you're here with me going through this.
Lucinda: I love you, Baby. I love you. I will always be with you. Okay?
Lily: Holden and I just need a little time. We'll work things out.
Lucinda: Just don't take so long that the thing escalates and you can't fix it.
Lily: Oh, I wonít. I promise.
Lucinda: Good. Give me a kiss. I want a kiss. Oh -- all right. All right. Let's get this sad task over with, shall we?
Carly: Lily, it's Carly.
Holden: Carly, hi. Lily's not here right now.
Carly: Shouldn't she be back soon, I hope?
Holden: I really don't know.
Carly: I need to talk to her.
Holden: What's wrong?
Carly: Everything. Everything. Everything.
Jack: So, Brad had you come down here and ask me to be his best man? Why didn't he ask him himself?
Katie: Because he doesn't know that I'm asking you.
Jack: He has no idea that you're here right now? Oh, given everything that's happened, not to mention the fact that we were married, don't you think that might pose a problem?
Katie: Okay, so you weren't his first choice. He asked Henry. But when Margo bailed on me, I stole Henry as my male of honor. Which, unfortunately, leaves Brad with no one.
Jack: No, I get that part. But usually the groom does the asking, Katie.
Katie: Okay, just stick with me here. If you stand up for us, it's proving that you're behind this and if Brad sees that I'm really behind that, I know he'll agree. He loves me.
Jack: So my being Brad's best man is that important to you?
Katie: I know you two haven't always seen eye-to-eye. But you're his brother and he has such a good heart. Jack, you know that. Margo's not going to be there for me. I'm not going to have any one in my family there for me and you know how important family is to me. Please? It would mean the world to me if you said yes.
Jack: Well, you know how hard it is for me to say no to you, Katie.
Katie: I was kind of counting on that. So is that a yes?
Jack: As long as I can be sure that this is what my brother really wants.
Katie: It is. I know it. Thank you. Thank you so much.
Mike: You want to be my buddy? You know, if this is some kind of offense is the ---
Brad: No -- whatever gave you that idea?
Mike: Wait, maybe you're being all chummy to me because you think I came back into town to ruin your wedding?
Brad: Never entered my mind. Even if you tried, Katie loves me.
Mike: So she says.
Brad: So, hey -- what is -- is that like a lucky charm or something?
Mike: Ah, it used to be. It was a gift for Katie, but she gave it back.
Brad: Really. It's pretty. Why would she do that?
Mike: I guess she's not as sentimental as I am.
Brad: Okay, if you care about Katie as much as you say you do, which I believe you do, I know a gift you can give her that will mean so much more.
Mike: What's that?
Brad: How would you like to be my best man?
Mike: Me as your best man. You've got to be kidding me, right?
Brad: I have never been more serious. But you've got to move fast because we don't have much time. We can get you a suit in wardrobe, you don't need much make-up, you're already a handsome devil.
Mike: Wait, just wait. Why me? And why now?
Brad: The bridal party got shifted around at last minute. And my best man defected to the other side, so we've got no one to stand up for me.
Mike: I am Katie's ex-husband.
Brad: So is Katie's male of honor.
Brad: Yeah. Okay, it's a long story but the clock is ticking. Okay, think of it like this. Okay, you'd be giving Katie your blessing to go on with her life and to be happy. And you'd be doing me, a new friend, a huge favor. Come on, two for the price of one. What do you say?
Katie: Thank you so much for saying yes. I know it wasn't easy.
Jack: Well, I want you to be happy, Katie. So, you just tell me when and where.
Katie: Oh, I almost forgot. You're going to need to be at WOAK in about two hours. We go live at 4:00.
Jack: You're getting married on television?
Katie: Yeah, I guess I kind of forgot to mention that part?
Jack: Yeah, kind of.
Katie: We're doing it for Kim. The ratings are kind of low.
Jack: You're getting married for ratings?
Katie: No, absolutely not. Brad and I do love each other. We just want to get married. The important part is the happily-ever-after.
Jack: Well, I hope my brother delivers because you deserve some happiness.
Katie: Thank you for understanding how important it is for us for you to be there.
Jack: I'll be there.
Katie: All right, thank you, Jack. I'll see you there.
Jack: This day keeps getting better and better.
Holden: Here you go. You seem pretty upset. Anything you want to talk about?
Carly: Um, no. Holden, that's -- it's thoughtful of you, but I think the last thing I need right now is advice from another Snyder man. So, thank you, but no thanks.
Lucinda: Honey, are you all right?
Lily: Yeah, I'm okay. Listen, I'm glad -- I'm actually -- I'm glad that I saw his headstone. It makes me really accept that he's gone for good.
Lucinda: Oh, God, I wished I had listened to him. He tried -- he tried -- I just was wrong -- wrong about everything.
Lily: You're not wrong about everything.
Lucinda: Yeah, I am --
Lily: No, I've -- I've decided to take your advice about my marriage.
Lily: Yeah. I've hurt Holden so badly. And he needs to know that I love him and I need him. We can't just expect all of our problems to just go away on their own. I mean, we need more than time and distance. I need to show him that I will do anything and everything to make our marriage work. And that's exactly what I'm going to do.
Holden: Carly, talk to me.
Carly: I don't want to talk, Holden. I want you to leave me alone.
Holden: Not when you're this upset.
Carly: Oh, God, what is it with you -- you Snyders? You think you're on some God-given mission to save everybody and everything. You're so good and noble and patient and understanding. Don't you realize that you just make the rest of us feel even worse?
Katie: Brad, I just spoke to -- Brad, where are you?
Mike: You think this is what Katie wants? For me to be your best man?
Brad: I know my woman. She's onboard with it, no doubt about it.
Mike: I must be insane for actually considering this, but --
Brad: But what? But what? Come on. Come on, just say it. Make it official. Come on, come on. Do it, do it, do it.
Mike: Okay, I'll be your best man.
Katie: Thank God. I was so worried. I thought you were going to be late for our wedding.
Brad: Miss my wedding when I'm marrying the most beautiful woman in the world? No way.
Katie: Where were you?
Brad: I had something very important to do before we get married.
Katie: Is it a surprise?
Brad: You could say that.
Katie: Well, I was out doing something, too, and I hope you'll be okay with it.
Brad: Would I deny you anything?
Katie: Okay. I stole your best man. Henry agreed to be my male of honor. And I'm so sorry, it's just that Vienna has the chicken pox, and Henry really is my best friend --
Brad: It's okay. It's okay. Henry filled me in. I'm fine with it. My best man is not going to be a problem.
Katie: I know. 'Cause I took care of it.
Brad: You did?
Katie: I did. Please don't be mad, but I asked your brother to stand up for you, and he said he would do it.
Katie: But only if you agree.
Brad: Actually, that's not going to work.
Katie: Why not? Of course it is. I knew you wouldn't be so happy about it at first, but I thought you would do it for me.
Brad: Ordinarily? Ordinarily, I would. But you see, the problem is, I already asked somebody else.
Henry: That is insane.
Mike: I thought it was crazy, too, at first. But then simple curiosity got the best of me.
Henry: Really? That's why you said yes? You just wanted to see what happens?
Mike: Yeah, why not?
Henry: Why not? Well, for starters, Mike, I just convinced Katie to ask Jack to do the honors.
Mike: Do you think he'll say yes?
Henry: He's never been able to say no. So what we're going to have is Brad with two best men that'll be ex-husbands of the bride, and then Katie's going to have another ex as the male-of-honor. Let me ask you something, Mike. Does that sound like a recipe for success, or a fast-track to disaster?
Mike: We'll find out, won't we?
Henry: Okay. Will you do me a favor?
Mike: What's that?
Henry: When the preacher says speak now or forever hold your peace, would you put a sock in it?
Lily: Holden, I'm home. Holden? Holden? Where is he?
Holden: Believe it or not, I understand where you're coming from. I've been there more often than I'd like to admit.
Carly: You're just trying to be nice.
Holden: You think I don't know how painful rejection can be? And I know that Jack is trying to be fair, but I also know that that doesn't always cut it.
Carly: You got that right.
Holden: Carly, you can be as angry as you want, you can vent as much as you want, but you're still going to have that empty feeling inside.
Carly: You really understand.
Holden: Sometimes I wish I didnít.
Carly: Something about this pond, it has a calming effect. Do you have any idea how lucky you are to be a part of your family?
Holden: I do. And whatever happens with you and Jack, you remember, you're a Snyder, too. You're always welcome out here.
Jack: Hey, Chief, I hate asking this, but I need the afternoon off.
Margo: Why? Is everything okay?
Jack: I don't know. I agreed to be Brad's best man. Yeah, I know. Don't judge me.
Margo: Jack, that is just really so masochist of you.
Jack: I'm doing it for Katie. She feels strongly about having family there. I'm sorry you're not going to be there to stand up for her.
Margo: All right, all right, I know. I just cannot witness a marriage that I think is such a mistake. But with you there, maybe there's hope.
Jack: Hope for what?
Margo: Well, if Katie has you and Brad standing on either side of her up at the altar, maybe she'll realize how impulsive she's being and change her mind.
Jack: No, I hope that doesn't happen, Margo. I want Katie to be happy, and I know it's not going to be with me.
Margo: Well, would you say the same thing about Mike?
Henry: Okay, Kasnoff, what do you have up your sleeve?
Henry: Nothing? Won't it be a tad hard watching Katie marry another man?
Mike: I'm not saying it won't be painful. But if Katie can do it, so can I.
Henry: And if Katie can't do it? Is that kind of what you're hoping?
Mike: I'll see you at the wedding, Henry.
Henry: Oh, Boy. Lights, camera, action.
Jack: I don't think Mike's going to be an issue for Katie anymore.
Margo: Well, he is if she still has feelings for him.
Jack: It's impossible to not have feelings for someone you once loved. Look at me and Carly. I know my brother has a funny way of showing it, but I think he really loves your sister.
Margo: I just don't think it's enough.
Jack: Well, I guess you heard the wedding's going to be on TV. So I got to get going.
Margo: Yeah, sure, go. Good luck.
Jack: Thank you.
Margo: You're going to need it. Television?
Katie: You asked Mike to be your best man?
Brad: I did.
Katie: Well, you have to call him and tell him you were suffering from temporary insanity and that he can't come.
Brad: Listen, listen, I will have two best men, and you'll have a male maid of honor. We're talking about must see TV!
Katie: Oh, my God, three -- three of ex-husbands are going to be watching me get married. Might as well call Simon. Maybe he'll be the ring bearer.
Brad: Let's not get carried away. They all can give you away to me, live on "Oakdale Now." And Kim was worried about the ratings.
Kim: Hey. How we doing in here?
Brad: What do you think about three of Katie's exes being in the wedding?
Kim: Oh. We'll have our own soap opera.
Katie: Is this a test?
Brad: What would ever give you that idea?
Kim: Okay, everybody, hurry up, now. Wardrobe, hair, make-up, check the bride. Dana, check the flowers. And I can't believe I'm saying this -- WOAK is throwing the wedding of the year. Yes.
Brad: High five.
Kim: Here we go.
On the next "As the World Turns" --
Holden: It seems we are throwing a little dinner party.
Lily: Yes! You, me, Holden and Jack.
Jack: Mike, what are you doing here?
Mike: I'm the best man.
Jack: I think you're mistaken. I'm the best man.
Katie: With this ring, I --
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