ATWT Transcript Monday 12/11/06 [an error occurred while processing this directive]

As The World Turns Transcript Monday 12/11/06

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Proofread By Emma

Jack: Thank you. Mike, come on. I can't work with people standing over me.

Mike: That was work? Leaving a polite phone message for the prince? That's working the case?

Jack: Okay, okay, I get it. You don't think I'm pursuing this with due diligence, is that it?

Mike: That's right.

Jack: Okay. Noted.

Mike: Noted? That's it? Okay, so while the prince is off doing whatever princes do, you're just going to wait until it's' convenient for him to call you back?

Jack: That's right.

Mike: You wouldn't want to check on Frasier or track down the stolen goods?

Jack: Mike, I am doing everything I can here by the book.

Mike: Really? Because I thought the book said cops go after bad guys. I didn't know it said stall as long as humanly possible in order to protect your ex-wife.

Jack: There is a line here, Mike. And you just crossed it.

Carly: Are you tired of your mommy being in a bad mood? Because your mommy is tired of your mommy being in a bad mood. You know what? I am also tired of feeling like I have got a hood ornament around my neck.

Sage: Are you mad at Daddy or Simon?

Carly: You know what? I am mad at everyone. Well, no, no, no. Except you. I'm not mad at you. Or your brothers.

Sage: What about marry?

Carly: Who?

Sage: The nice lady that gave me my magic crystal?

Carly: Oh, Mary. Right, well, no. I'm not mad at Mary, either. Now I've only got a couple of minutes to make you a nutritious snack before Jillís very perfect and very organic mother comes to pick you up so you can work on that science project.

Sage: Want some help?

Carly: No, no, no. I'll work out my frustration stirring that natural peanut butter. You just stay here and relax and pretend you have a nice mom.

Sage: I do.

Carly: Oh, Sweetheart, I love you. I'm so glad you think so. You know, I'm tempted to give you orange soda and pork rinds just to see the look on that woman's face.

[Sage giggles]

Sage: I wish your magic could make Mommy happy.

Henry: You want me to -- you want me to break into Carlyís house and steal the diamond?

Katie: Right. Now listen, all we have to do is -- we start by making a map of Carlyís house.

Henry: A map? Katie? Katie, crooks use ground plans when they're breaking into some place that's heavily guarded. You know, like a museum or a bank, not Carly Snyderís living room.

Katie: You are so knowledgeable about these things.

Henry: Of course I'm knowledgeable about these things. Before I sign onto this glorious adventure, can you give me one conceivable reason why I should?

Katie: To save my marriage.

Henry: No, Honey. No. That's why you want it done. That's not why I would do it. And by the way, when did I become the go-to guy for breaking and entering, huh? Is there a big sign on my back that says, "Will break law for neurotic blondes"?

Katie: I'm not neurotic.

Henry: Oh, please. Plea -- if you want to save your marriage, you should not have written about sleeping with Simon in the first place.

Katie: I was just trying to purge my guilt.

Henry: Have you heard of the delete key? Purge, delete. Purge, delete.

Katie: Oh yeah. That's a good one. That's so funny. The worst thing that's ever happened to me just happened and you're making jokes. That's good.

Henry: And you plan robberies.

Katie: Because I want Simon in jail. We steal the diamond, we show it to Jack -- Carly and Simon go to jail and I get Mike back.

[Henry sighing]

Henry: Forgetting just for a second that this plan is idiotic, why would I risk jail time to steal something that I don't even want in the first place?

Katie: You don't want the reward?

Henry: The reward?

Katie: Yeah. Yeah, I think they said something about millions of dollars in reward money. Something like that.

Henry: Okay, yeah. Let's see. Carly's door is here, yeah? And the living room is here, of course. Then we have the stairs.

Barbara: You are not getting anywhere near my grandson, now get out of my house.

Lucy: It's for one night.

Barbara: I won't let you take him for one minute.

Lucy: Show her the papers.

Cassandra: If you have any questions --

Barbara: Keep your papers. I'll call my attorney, he can read them.

Lucy: You'll just be postponing the inevitable. You know that they're legal. You know they're in proper order.

Barbara: Anything that says that Craig Montgomery is even allowed in the same room as my grandson is a travesty, and there is nothing proper about Craig Montgomery using the law to kidnap my grandson!

Lucy: You need to step off your high horse and start facing reality, for Johnnyís sake.

Barbara: What did you say to me?

Lucy: We're talking about Johnny spending one night at Fairwinds, the first night that my father's out of the hospital.

Barbara: That is not going to happen.

Lucy: Fine. Defy the law, make your stand. Keep Johnny for one night and end up losing him forever.

Craig: I would imagine that right now, you're thinking, "just how much of that did he hear?"

Paul: No. That's not what I'm thinking.

Craig: Well, first off, let me say how sorry I am. Losing a woman like Meg, it must be devastating. You have my sympathy.

Paul: Do I need to tell you what you can do with your sympathy, Craig?

Craig: But it wasn't just an ordinary break up, was it? This wasn't about leaving the toilet seat up. You did something that she just couldn't live with. Must have been big.

Paul: That's really none of your business.

Craig: No, the fact is, I'm right smack in the middle of it. So come on, Paul, what is it? Admit what you did.

Craig: Come on. You know what they say. Confessing is good for the soul.

Paul: So why don't you try it?

Craig: All you have to do is take a deep breath and then say, "I took the blanks out of Donovanís gun and replaced them with real bullets."

Paul: Or you could say, "I put the blanks into Donovanís gun and goaded him into shooting me."

Craig: Wow. That was really good.

Paul: Thanks.

Craig: You didn't even flinch. When you know, indeed, that I have the goods on you.

Paul: Likewise.

Craig: Oh, no. Not even close. I didn't hurt anyone. What you did caused -- what do the lawyers call it? Grievous bodily harm.

Paul: Not enough, apparently.

Craig: And you lost Meg, so sad. I really thought you kids had a chance.

Paul: What do you want?

Craig: What do I want?

Paul: Yeah, what are you going to do?

Craig: What am I going to do? Well, I could talk to her. Plead your case. But I'm not sure --

Paul: No, I mean what are you going to do about me?

Craig: Oh, yeah, you. Excuse me, I forgot. You're always thinking about yourself.

Paul: Of course. Are you going to go to the cops?

Craig: Well, let's just assess the situation here, okay? I know that you changed the bullets. And you know that I know. So what am I going to do about it? [Craig whispering] Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Barbara: I told you I want you out of this house. Should I call the police now?

Lucy: You know what? Do that and keep that attitude, because it'll work out great for my father when you wind up in court begging for visitation rights.

Barbara: Visitation? I'm not going to visit my grandson, I am going to raise him. And no sane person would ever take him away from me and give him to your father!

Lucy: So we end up with another Will.

Barbara: You little traitor. All along. All this time, you've been siding with your dad.

Lucy: You know what? I've got a lot of things to do and this lady is on billable hours, so maybe you can rant and rave when we're gone. Go get the baby now.

Barbara: No!

Lucy: Your choice. My decision? I'm calling the police. So pretty soon, you can say hi to Dusty in jail.

Mike: I'm just calling it like I see it, Jack.

Jack: You don't think I'm putting enough effort into this investigation, is that it?

Mike: I think it's personal for you. You and Carly doesn't get anymore personal than that.

Jack: Carly's not standing in the way of me doing my job!

Mike: It's happened before.

Jack: Yeah, and it's never going to happen again. That's why I ended things. It won't happen again.

Mike: Okay, so the fact that Simon stole those diamonds and Carly probably had something to do with it --

Jack: There is no proof. We have no proof!

Mike: She doesn't matter to you. So what if a little evidence gets overlooked?

Jack: There's no evidence to overlook!

Mike: Okay, then prove me wrong. Get off your butt and do your job.

Jack: My job is not get rid of every guy that sniffs around your wife!

Mike: Oh, you son of a --

Jack: Go ahead. Go ahead. Hit me. That'll get you arrested.

Mike: It would almost be worth it.

Jack: Or you can go home. And, Mike? Hey, the next time -- next time you're thinking about doing my job, don't come here and tell me. You know what you can do? You can call the chief, tell him yourself. Or make an anonymous call on the hotline.

Mike: You know what? It's not personal for me.

Jack: That's what I've been trying to tell you. It's not personal.

Mike: Well I'll do what I need to do.

Jack: You do that. So will I. Count on it.

Carly: Whatcha doing?

Sage: Nothing. Where's my orange soda?

Carly: Haha, very funny. You know that was a joke. You have your sandwich. I will go upstairs and get your glue and your stencils and -- anything else?

Sage: No, Mommy. Thank you.

Carly: Okay. [Phone ringing] Hello?

Simon: Carly.

Carly: Good-bye.

Simon: No, no, no. Please, please, please, wait. Please. I'm sorry.

Carly: Okay, great. Bye.

Simon: Carly, please, can we -- can we please just talk about this? Come on sweet -- can I please just come over and talk? So, we go to this new place...

Carly: No, no. Don't come over.

Simon: Carly, we cannot leave things like this. Can I please just come over and we'll talk about it?

Carly: Simon, you may have time. But I have to get Sage ready to go work on her science project, I have to pick up Parker and J.J. from hockey practice, I have to sort of make them believe that life is normal.

Simon: Okay, look, I am -- I am really sorry if I said something wrong about Jack. I know you guys have a very special connection and I respect that, I do. I'm sorry.

Carly: All right. All right, you can come over. But just give me a couple of minutes, okay? Because I really don't want to have to introduce you to the president elect of the PTA. Okay, glue, stencils. Construction paper?

Sage: Jill has lots.

Carly: Okay.

Katie: What now?

Henry: Off the top of my head, I say we wait until the house is empty. Not a good idea to have Carly see us steal while we're stealing her diamond.

Katie: It's not her diamond, it belongs to the people of Leonia.

Henry: Hear ye. Hear ye.

Katie: What if she wears it when she leaves the house?

Henry: We wait until she comes back. But I don't think she's going to wear a million dollar necklace out to some soccer mom event.

Katie: Oh, right, yeah. We all know how Carly worries about being ostentatious.

[Car door closing]

Jill's mom: And remind them to remember her stencils.

Jill: Sage!

Jill's mom: Whatever.

[Knocking]

Jill: My mother said to tell you to bring your stencils.

Carly: Well. Nice hello to you too, Jill. Sage has her stencils. She's got everything she needs. She's all set.

Sage: I forgot my crystal!

Jill: She always forgets something.

Carly: My, my. You're getting more and more like your mummy every day.

Sage: You never saw my magic crystal.

Carly: That's all right, Honey. We'll have time later. I don't want to keep Jillís mom waiting. You girls go ahead. Have fun. There's nothing more fun than working on a science project.

[Car doors closing]

Katie: Is she ever going to leave?

Henry: How dare she dawdle while we wait to rob her house?

Katie: I should have brought a book or something.

Carly: I changed my mind, I'll meet you there.

Simon: You sure?

Carly: Yeah, well, I figure there's much less chance of me throwing something at you if we're in public.

Simon: Okay, fine. I'll see you soon.

Katie: No necklace.

Paul: You never do nothing.

Craig: That's a double negative.

Paul: Okay, you always do something.

Craig: I've settled her.

Paul: Good. But what you do is never -- and I can't think of the word. What's the word that I'm looking for? Brave. You never do anything brave. You're more, like, a ring and run kind of guy, Craig.

Craig: Oh, right. And changing the bullets in Donovanís gun and letting him take the fall, that's real brave, Paul. Oh, God. Legs that would make a man start thinking about a joint checking account.

Paul: You have no idea.

Craig: Yeah, you're right. But you know, I don't have to do anything to pay you back. You're doing it to yourself. I mean, what could be worse than losing Meg? Oh, I know. You can watch her start a new life with someone else. [Paul laughing] Ow. You think that's funny.

Paul: Craig, she dumped me on the morals clause. I can't even imagine what she's going to do to you. You disgust her.

Craig: Or so you hope. Oh, Meg. Meg, a word please. Quick word.

[Craig clearing his throat]

Meg: Yeah?

Craig: I was just telling Paul here that I heard a little bit of that conversation that you had earlier, between the two of you --

Meg: You're a real creep. I'm so glad we saved your life.

Craig: Yes, and you know, I should've not listened behind the closed door here. This nice hush conversation that you were both having. But just imagine the shock of hearing you discussing that Paul here tried to murder me. Oh, look at that, Paul. Look at that. The fear. The concern in her eye. Isn't that amazing. Maybe there's still a love left there, hm?

Meg: What do you want?

Craig: What do I want? Well, just what I told Paul, here. I'm going to keep it all to myself. You and I, Meg. We're going to hold his secret so that he can stay a free man.

Meg: He'll also stay a free man because you don't have a shred of proof and I'll swear I have no idea I know what you're talking about.

Craig: Wow. God, she knocks me out. You know, if a man had a woman like you in his corner, there is nothing, nothing that he couldn't achieve. You really blew it pal, you know that?

Meg: Nicole? Mr. Montgomery's been released. Can you get a wheelchair and escort him out, please?

Nicole: Sure.

Meg: So we can start hosing down the place.

Craig: Mm. I love that hardboiled exterior. Thank you very much, Nurse Meg, for everything that you've done. And my son thanks you too. Have you two thought about counseling? Love conquers all.

Meg: So do you think he'll keep quiet?

Paul: Yeah.

Meg: Why? What is he up to? What does he want?

Paul: You.

Barbara: Hang up. You win.

Lucy: Good.

Barbara: When do you want him?

Lucy: Now.

Barbara: No. No. He hasn't had a nap. I will bring him over to Fairwinds in about two, two and a half hours.

Cassandra: That's not acceptable.

Barbara: And I will stay to make sure that he has adjusted.

Lucy: Nice try, Barbara, but we're taking him with us. Where is he?

Barbara: Someplace safe.

Lucy: Dusty and Johnny live in the rear apartment. He's probably there with his nurse.

Barbara: Don't you dare go near him, you'll scare him --

Lucy: Go.

Barbara: Get your hands off of me!

Cassandra: Careful. We don't want to have to deal with an assault charge.

Barbara: I will fight this.

Lucy: Shut up and listen to me. That lawyer will be back here in a minute and the game starts all over again.

Barbara: What?

Lucy: So listen to me while I tell you what's really going on here.

Announcer: Coming up on "As the World Turns" --

Craig: Something wrong?

Barbara: You won't believe what Lucy just told me.

Simon: You forgive me?

Carly: All right, I guess so.

Simon: So how about us? You and me going straight together.

Katie: Henry?

Henry: More to the point, if you hadn't jumped into the sack with Simon in the first place --

Katie: Henry?

[Birds chirping]

Lucy: The whole thing, everything that led up to it. The shooting, my father was behind it. He was goading Dusty into it, and he had Emily put blanks in the gun.

Barbara: What?

Lucy: I know, I know. Something went wrong, and my father was shot with real bullets. But this is all his doing, and I've got to do something to stop him.

Barbara: You're saying that this is a performance?

Lucy: A test. My father sent me here today with that lawyer in tow, and this won't be the last test. And I won't be able to let this act down for a second, because he'll be watching or have me watched.

Barbara: Oh, I see. Or maybe you and your father came up with a simple plan to make me lie down, roll over and play dead.

Lucy: Barbara, Barbara -- look, listen to me for a minute. Look at what's happened. My father has won battle after battle. He's got momentum, and all you've got is me.

Barbara: God help me.

Lucy: I've told Dusty, and now I'm telling you. No matter what happens, what I do, trust me.

[Knocking at door]

Craig: Barbara? Barbara, I hope this isn't a bad time.

Lucy: Trust me.

Craig: And how are you this lovely afternoon? Something wrong?

Barbara: Wrong doesn't quite catch it. You won't believe what Lucy just told me.

Meg: Craig wants me?

Paul: To torture me.

Meg: What fun. Every girl dreams of being in a position like that.

Paul: Yeah. He's just toying with you to make me crazy. I'm sorry. You deserve better.

Meg: Yeah, you got that right. So, how much did he hear? I mean, what does he know?

Paul: Well, he knows I switched the bullets. But he doesn't seem to know about the whole -- the pillow thing.

Meg: The pillow thing? You tried to kill him twice, Paul. Call it what it is. Okay, so now we're stuck having to trust Craig?

Paul: We? We're stuck?

Meg: Sorry. Old habits. You.

Paul: Just me?

Meg: Just you.

Paul: That's too bad. You know, he was right about one thing. I did see the look on your face when he was talking about me. And you were concerned.

Meg: Of course, Paul. I love you. If I didn't, all of this wouldn't hurt like hell.

Katie: You know, for future reference, the next time you're breaking and entering, you might want to try to take less time picking the lock.

Henry: Oh, really? You try doing it quicker. And you might -- you might, when a friend is doing your bidding all day and donning ridiculous costumes, risking arrest, you might want to show a little gratitude, Katie.

Katie: Wait, wait. Shh! Did you hear that?

Henry: What?

Katie: I heard something. Where is it?

Henry: The diamond?

Katie: No, her recipe for deviled eggs.

Henry: That's it.

Katie: No, no, where are you going? Where are you going?

Henry: I'm going away. I'm going far away, okay?

Katie: No, no, no, no. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I get mean when I'm nervous.

Henry: You better be much, much nicer to me, okay? Or this is absolutely the last time I break the law with you.

Katie: Okay. Henry -- sweet, sweet, sweet Henry.

Henry: Oh, give me a break.

Katie: Where do you think Carly keeps her diamond?

Henry: Well, a normal person would keep it in a safe, but this is Carly we're talking about. So, I say we check the bedroom for a jewelry box.

Katie: What would I do without you?

Simon: Can I get you a coffee, tea, something to eat?

Carly: No.

Simon: Anything?

Carly: No, thank you.

Simon: Wow, you really are mad at me, aren't you?

Carly: Yeah. Yeah, I really am mad. Simon, Jack and I may be divorced, but that doesn't give you the right to try to make a fool out of him, when number one -- he is so on to us. And two -- he is just trying to look out for me. And it's obvious to me that this is tearing him up inside.

Simon: Okay. Okay, look, look. Okay, here's the thing. Every time I've ever cared about something -- anything that may tear me up inside -- I run from it. Okay? So making fun of someone like Jack is only because he doesnít. He doesn't run from those things, he stands there and he faces it, and I admire that.

Carly: Oh, I hate that. I hate it when you do that.

Simon: What?

Carly: When you come clean, and you make me realize that it's not you that I'm mad at.

Simon: No?

Carly: No. I'm mad at myself. Look what I'm doing. Being a cop is who Jack is. And his children mean more to him than anything in the world. And I have created a situation where Jack the cop is supposed to nail the mother of his children.

Simon: Okay, you know what? Let's go back to blaming me, all right? I think this is my fault.

Carly: You know, I used to be able to do that. I used to be able to blame everybody for everything. I hate growing up.

Simon: Yeah, I think it's been happening to me lately, as well.

Carly: Right, really.

Simon: Yeah, I'm still here, right?

Carly: Huh?

Simon: Look, over the last couple of months working together with you, I have had plenty of opportunities to split. With money, even. And yet, I'm still here.

Carly: Yes, that's true. So, what is that about, huh?

Simon: I think you know. And so, I've been thinking, all right? I promise to protect you, and out of all the promises I have made, I am going to keep that one. Okay? And to this end, those jewels? That is the last crime I will ever commit. From now on, me, straight and narrow all the way.

Carly: Ooh, wow! What have I done?

Simon: I don't know, I didn't see this one coming. So, what do you think? Do you forgive me?

Carly: All right, I guess so.

Simon: So how about us? You and me, going straight, together?

Paul: I never meant to hurt you.

Meg: I believe that.

Paul: And -- good. I'll do whatever I have to, to get you to change your mind about us.

Meg: That I don't believe.

Paul: But it's true.

Meg: We both know it isnít. Paul, I told you point blank how I felt about violence, about your hatred of Craig. And you smiled at me sweetly, said I was right, excused yourself and went to kill him.

Paul: Yeah, because I thought that --

Meg: You thought that you could get away with it. You can't stop thinking that you're smarter than everybody else, because you can't change, you won't change.

Paul: I can try. You have to let me try.

Meg: Who's stopping you?

Paul: If you could forgive me.

Meg: Oh, right, 'cause I'm the reward for good behavior.

Paul: Yeah. Unless you think that's a bad thing, in which case that's not what I meant at all.

Meg: Paul, we both know what'll happen. You'll change to get what you want, and then once you get it, you'll change back. It's kind of a pattern you have going.

Paul: Okay, look, I know I did a bad thing. In this case, like a really big, bad thing. But, meg, at least I know that i was wrong.

Meg: Paul, you need to remember you're talking to me, not Emily.

Paul: Oh, no, no, I know exactly who I'm talking to. I know exactly who you are, meg, and I love exactly who you are. I just don't know why you won't give us a second chance.

Meg: Because I --

Paul: Look, we're not perfect. We are, in fact, imperfect. But we make each other happy, and we make each other stronger and better. And I think that that's got to count for something. I think that's worth keeping.

Meg: This job, doing what I'm doing -- it means a lot to me.

Paul: Yeah?

Meg: And I almost lost this job, because I almost lost my way. And that was with your help. I will not lose my way again.

Paul: Okay. So, I'll never ask you to do anything that you don't want to do ever again --

Meg: Ask? Ask? You don't ask, Paul. You never ask. When something I am or something I think gets in your way, you don't fight. You don't give me orders. You simply ignore it. I cease to exist. And I will never let that happen to me again.

Paul: Okay, we won't let that happen again. Don't give up on us.

Meg: When you got up from that table, when you left me there to come here and murder Craig, you gave up on us, Paul. As usual, you decided for both of us. At least this choice is mine.

Lucy: Barbara --

Barbara: Your daughter has told me that you plan on attacking me and my competence in court.

Craig: She did?

Barbara: Yes. And not only did she walk in here and threaten me with calling the cops, she walked in with an attorney, told me you're planning a smear campaign, and clearly enjoyed telling me these things.

Craig: Hmm. Well, there's a simple solution to this whole problem. Just graciously allow me time with my son.

Barbara: And have Johnny grow up like her? You must be so proud.

Craig: I am.

Lucy: Daddy, what are you doing here? I thought we were meeting at the hospital?

Craig: I just couldn't wait to see my son. Where is he? Where's Cassandra?

Lucy: She went to get Johnny.

Craig: Why?

Lucy: Well, Barbara was stalling as long as she could. I sent Cassandra to get Johnny before they snuck out the back.

Craig: Good thinking.

Barbara: Right, have some stranger yank him out of his crib. Don't mind about the baby so long as you win, right, Craig?

Craig: Barbara, if you care so much about Johnny's feelings, then maybe you might want to try to get along with me in front of him? Let's just act like we're one big happy family.

Barbara: No wonder people are trying to kill you.

Craig: Hey, Slugger. Hi.

Lucy: Oh, you know what? Let me. I know you're invincible, but you did just get out of the hospital.

Craig: All right, okay. Hi. Okay, we're off. Enjoy the rest of your afternoon, Barbara. Maybe you can catch up on your macramť or something.

Barbara: No, wait!

Vienna: She dresses as well as she writes.

Mike: Hey, I've been looking all over for you.

Vienna: Hey, how sweet. You know, you've really hurt my feelings running away from me like that.

Mike: There was something I had to do.

Vienna: Oh, something difficult. Your eyes are still so sad. Are you sure there isn't anything we could do about that?

Mike: Yeah, I'm sure.

Vienna: Are you sure? Because I am known to cheer up depressed men. She still has her hold over you, doesn't she?

Mike: No, it's over. It's all over.

Vienna: Right. So, where did you run off to earlier?

Mike: Well, I -- all right, I went to see Jack at the police station. I was trying to convince to him to call the prince, tell him about the theft.

Vienna: And he refused?

Mike: No, but he's not being very aggressive. He just left a message.

Vienna: Well, Aldolpho is really naughty like that. He doesn't return calls.

Mike: Well, I bet he'd return your call. I mean, maybe you even have a private number where you can reach him.

Vienna: Yes, I do.

Mike: All right, will you call him?

Vienna: Well, I wanted to avoid that. You know? I don't really like to give him bad news.

Mike: Well, I think the trick would be to make sure he directs his anger in the right direction.

Vienna: And we both know where that would be, don't we? Here, hold this. I think I know just the way to handle this.

Carly: I didn't come here for this.

Simon: So you don't want to talk about us?

Carly: I came here to tell you off.

Simon: And you did. You did. You really told me off. You got me, you did. And look where we ended up.

Carly: But I didn't intend to end up here. It's just too complicated, you know? There's too much going on.

Simon: Okay, all right. So, listen, let's remember we had this conversation and table the whole matter until a less stressful time in our life.

Carly: But life doesn't get less stressful, it gets more stressful.

Simon: Okay. Things are going to settle down. And now that I've stopped doing illegal and irresponsible things, life is going to be nothing but -- tranquil. Tranquil -- tranquil.

Carly: Tranquil I like. In fact, I'm going to go home to my tranquil, empty house and try to pretend that everything's okay.

Simon: Empty?

Carly: You really have a one-track mind, don't you?

Simon: What? Come on! I just promised to change my entire life for you.

Carly: Yeah, and now I know why you made that promise.

Simon: Well, here -- I just figure that now we're both going to be kind of law-abiding and legit citizens, we've got to find some other way to pass our time.

Henry: I cannot believe you got me into this.

Katie: What, you're giving up?

Henry: I'm giving up!

Katie: What about my marriage?

Henry: Sweetheart, I know that you think that Mike will forget all and forgive all if you send Simon and Carly to the big house, but that's just stupid.

Katie: No, he will forgive me. He has to.

Henry: He wouldn't have anything to forgive if you hadn't written what you wrote.

Katie: Henry --

Henry: More to the point, if you hadn't jumped into the sack with Simon in the first place.

Katie: Henry -- we got it!

Henry: Hello, Gorgeous!

Katie: Oh, Simon, you are so going down.

Craig: Barbara, it's over.

Barbara: I just think that Johnny will be very lonely. I know Winston will be very lonely without him, so he needs to take his little toy with him. And if he wakes up in the middle of the night and misses home, call me anytime during the night. And I know that I will see him tomorrow morning at 9:00 sharp, as in the court papers' orders.

Craig: Yep.

Barbara: I'll see you then, okay, Honey? Bye-bye.

Craig: Okay, so his name is Winston, huh? Well, you think that Winston likes a little fried chicken dinner? Huh?

Paul: Meg, Meg -- you're right. I was crazy with hatred, and I didn't think. I just -- I acted. There wasn't a part of me that thought that I would ever lose you. If there had been --

Meg: You would have done it anyway, Paul. Because your hatred of Craig is much stronger than your love for me. I mean, Craig pushes one of your buttons, and I'm gone. Disappeared. What, you think this is funny?

Paul: No, this is awful, but -- I don't know. It's amusing to me that you're dumping me, and that somehow makes me love you even more.

Meg: When you say things like that, it makes my heart flip and my knees go weak.

Paul: That's good.

Meg: No, that's bad. I'm not so stupid that I don't know how persistent you are, and how persuasive, and how much I would love to say, "The hell with all this, I want my fiancť back."

Paul: I'm right here.

Meg: But that's what's got to change. I can't do it, Paul, I can't keep fending you off. It's too hard.

Paul: That's got to tell you something?

Meg: Yeah, that you need to stay away from me.

Paul: I can't do that.

Meg: Well, then I'll make you because I am not going to end up like Emily. This is the only way I know how to do that.

Mike: What'd he say?

Vienna: A lot of French, but Adolpho always curses in French. But I think Simon Frasierís days as a free man are gone.

Mike: Good.

Vienna: Which, you know, gives you and Katie a chance to get back together again.

Mike: That's not going to happen.

Vienna: Oh, come on. She seems lost without you. And I know you're still crazy about her.

Mike: I told you, it's all over. I just donít want to see Simon get away with highway robbery, that's all.

Vienna: Oh, why? Because it offends your sense of right and wrong?

Mike: Something like that, yeah.

Vienna: Oh, bull, Mike. Come on. I know you still love your wife.

Jill's mom: A win tonight would be impressive on your college applications. It's never too early to move ahead of the pack. Caffeine, I need caffeine.

Jill: What if we did something about the solar system?

Sage: That's the sun and stuff, right? Boring.

Jill: What isn't boring?

Sage: Magic.

Katie: Isn't it just like Carly to keep a priceless gem down her sofa?

Henry: Oh, you don't want to know what else is down there.

Katie: Now we take a little trip to the police station.

[Carly and Simon coming to the front door]

Simon: This is turning into a great afternoon after all.

[Carly giggles]

Carly: Can you just wait a minute? I do have neighbors, you know.

Simon: Oh, yes, that's right. I'm now totally respectable citizen, and totally crazy about you.

Carly: Ah, where are my keys?

Katie: What a perfect, perfect, perfect day.

On the next "As the World Turns" --

Gwen: You want me to leave for the airport right now?

Adam: No, you got about an hour.

Dusty: Lucy doesn't want her father raising Johnny anymore than we do.

Barbara: Craig has you locked up and he's got Johnny in his arms. You tell me how she's going to stop him.

Craig: Craig Montgomery Jr., you ready to take on the world?

Henry: They're on the porch!

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