ATWT Transcript Thursday 12/5/02

 

As The World Turns Transcript Thursday 12/5/02

Provided by Eric
Proofread by
Ebele

Jack: I just checked on our children. They're sleeping. You gonna be okay till I get back? Hmm?

Carly: No!

Jack: Well --

Carly: If you think I'm letting you leave me now --

Jack: Oh, honey, I gotta go to work.

Carly: Let somebody else protect Oakdale tonight.

Jack: Hmm, let's see -- Hal's still on the road, and Margo is only on partial duty.

Carly: But we're young and nubile newlyweds!

Jack: And one of us isn't exactly up to sexual escapes. Listen, oh, maybe all that will change once you have your appointment with the doctor tomorrow. On the other hand -- [Jack groans] there's my cue. I'm gonna go see if the nurse is looking in on them.

Carly: Good luck. In the grand scheme of things, I don't really ask for a whole lot. So forgive me for asking for a real doozy here, but please let that home pregnancy test be wrong! I mean, nothing is ever 100% anything, right? So if there's even the eenciest chance that all this could be caused by -- by major stress or -- or allergies or mother nature's nasty practical joke, I want that chance. If you want to teach me a lesson, could you please find another way? Just please, please, please don't let me be pregnant with Mike's baby!

Rosanna: Oh, surprise.

Craig: Well, I hadn't ordered dessert.

Rosanna: Well, I know I wasn't invited --

Craig: Has that ever stopped you before?

Rosanna: If you want me to leave --

Craig: No, no, you just got here.

Rosanna: I'm not really sure why I came.

Craig: Hey, stick around. I'll give you a few reasons to stay.

Emily: Alison? Is it really you? Oh my God, it is so good to hear your voice. Are you okay?! Please, tell me you're okay.

Alison: I couldn't be better, you know?

Emily: Yeah?

Alison: Living on the run is highly underrated. And talk about seeing America on a shoestring budget. And thanksgiving? Turkey at a homeless shelter. Plus, the car -- it overheats every five miles, just like Aaron and Lucy, who overheat every five minutes.

Emily: Oh, honey --

Alison: They're driving me up the wall and I hate being around them. And they hate me. And, I don't know, tonight, they acted like they wanted me to disappear -- so I just got in the car, and stepped on the gas and drove.

Emily: Alison, I hope you're not driving and talking while --

Alison: No, I'm on the side of the gazillionth highway we've been on. All by my lonesome. Except for this huge billboard of the king in his blue suede shoes, looking over me like some rock-and-roll angel saying, "don't sweat my driving."

Emily: Alison, where's Aaron and Lucy?

Alison: I don't know. I sort of ditched them.

Aaron: You okay? Are you sure? You're so quiet.

Lucy: I was just thinking --

Aaron: About what?

Lucy: Remember how I asked you if I'd feel different afterwards?

Aaron: Do you?

Lucy: I do. I feel like -- like I'm really yours. I love you, Aaron.

Aaron: I love you, too, Lucy. Always.

Marshall: Propositioning the prosecutor -- that could be very interesting. I knew you'd be back someday. I just didn't know when.

Jessica: I'm doing this for one reason and one reason only, Marshall. I want the tape that Steinbeck took from Paul.

Marshall: So you're offering the ultimate sacrifice?

Jessica: Look, I understand that Steinbeck is holding something over you, and if getting that tape from him somehow hurts you in any way, I'm sorry, but I will do anything to protect Bonnie.

Marshall: Then let's make sure we do absolutely everything.

Marshall: She'll give me her body, but she keeps her emotions all to herself.

Jessica: You know that I love another man, Marshall.

Marshall: Where was that love the last time you were in my bed?

Jessica: Look, I'm not trying to hurt you --

Marshall: "Hurt"? You think I'm hurt? I'm disgusted! Everything's gotta be wrapped into a pretty little bow for Jessica. You couldn't have slept with me because you wanted me, because you couldn't stand being in the same room as me without touching me. No, I'm required to have some redeeming attribute in order to qualify for acceptance into Jessica Griffin's bed. I have to loyal, faithful and true, like your lapdog, Ben -- Mr. High and mighty.

Jessica: You're not fit to wipe his shoes.

Marshall: Are you? After what you've done with me?

Jessica: What has Steinbeck done to you, Marshall?

Marshall: You want to know why I work for Steinbeck? Because I'm as low, as cruel, as hateful and as vicious as he is. And for future reference, you didn't want me because you saw the good in me. No, you slept with me because you wanted a little taste of evil. And you enjoy the taste. Don't you, Jessica?

Ben: I've paid you already.

Waiter: Yeah, thanks. I appreciate it.

Ben: Yeah? So, what do you want now?

Waiter: The lady in that room -- she isn't your girlfriend or anything, is she? I mean, we just had a murder here a few weeks ago, and if my tipping you off leads to someone getting blown --

Ben: It's my brother's girlfriend. There's probably gonna be some yelling, but I'm not gonna kill anybody.

Waiter: Good. But some free advice? Maybe it's better not to get involved.

Henry: Lone! Mona! Hey! You two remember me?

Woman #1: How could we forget?

Woman #2: The hotel valet who tried to pass himself off as a movie producer/high roller?

[Laughter]

Henry: Oh, that's so silly. It's a silly misunderstanding. Look, why don't you two lovely ladies just join me for a drink and I'll explain everything. I mean, everything that isn't hush-hush.

Woman #1: Who's buying?

Henry: Did I ever tell you I was half Dutch?

Woman #2: Did we ever tell you we're half impressed?

[Henry sighs]

Henry: Amateurs. You know what I need? I need a woman with a keen sense of adventure -- a woman that laughs in the face of danger. A woman that lives off of adrenaline and loves the smell of fear.

Magda: Well, ya just found her, little man.

Henry: Magda! Hey! Oh! Where have you been all my life? Bartender, whatever she wants. Oh my goodness! I haven't seen you since that night that you kicked me out of the Monte Carlo offices. You remember that night?

Magda: Yeah, how could I forget?

Henry: Yeah, you're a hard woman to find. I've been looking all over town for you.

Magda: That's what I heard. That's why I'm here. To break your freaking kneecaps.

Emily: Alison, listen to me! Take a deep breath and tell me where you are.

Alison: I'm in the middle of nowhere, okay? And I have to go.

Emily: Wait! Wait! Where are Lucy and Aaron?

Alison: Look, I feel guilty enough for leaving them, okay?

Emily: Leaving them where?

Alison: I'm sorry, Emily. I really am, but I don't think I should tell you that.

Emily: Sweetie, are you safe?

Alison: I am, but the cops might be after Aaron and Lucy and they might need me.

Emily: I can help you, Alison. I can help you help them. Just drive yourself to the nearest Police station.

Alison: You can kill that little fantasy of yours, 'cause I'm not

turning myself in. By the way, have you seen that husband of yours lately?

Emily: Actually, I have.

Alison: He's a nutcase, em! He's the one who belongs behind bars!

Emily: Sweetheart, I'm so sorry.

Alison: He's gunning for Aaron like he's on the FBI's ten most wanted list! But he's innocent, Emily. I swear!

Emily: I know.

Alison: You do?

Emily: There's new evidence that proves Aaron didn't start the fire.

Alison: Really?! What kind of evidence? Did Will change his story? I knew he'd come around.

Emily: He's still in a coma, Alison.

Alison: But he should be awake by now! What's taking so long?

Emily: The doctors are doing everything they can.

Alison: This is never gonna be over. Hal's gonna chase us forever. If Will dies --

Emily: Will's not gonna die!

Alison: How do you know? He could! This will never be over until something terrible happens.

Emily: Then come home, Alison. Please, just come home, all right? I'll take care of everything. You don't have to turn yourself in to the Police. Just -- I know things seem impossible right now, and I know you must be afraid and alone, but, sweetie, I'll take care of everything. I promise. I will! And you know I can! That's why you called. You called because you know I can take care of everything. So please just --

Alison: Tell mommy I love her.

Emily: Alison, wait!

Alison: I'm sorry.

Emily: Hold on, baby. I'm bringing you home.

Holden: Hey, Rosanna. I was just leaving.

Rosanna: Oh.

Craig: Thanks, Holden. Night.

Rosanna: He's probably wondering why I just showed up here out of the blue.

Craig: Well, that makes two of us.

Rosanna: Well, I know how disappointed you were when you just missed finding Lucy at Vanderbilt.

Craig: I was.

Rosanna: And I know you're afraid that Hal has gone off the rails.

Craig: Mm-hmm. He has.

Rosanna: And I know how it feels to have your heart set on something, just to have it taken away from you.

Craig: Yes?

Rosanna: So I was thinking, perhaps this trip could be nice for both of us if you're feeling lonely, too.

Craig: If I were what?

[Rosanna laughs]

Rosanna: I need sex, Montgomery. Interested?

Craig: Yeah. Yes.

Aaron: Hey.

Lucy: Aaron, stop. Aaron, Alison's gonna be back any minute and you have to get dressed.

[Aaron sighs]

Aaron: Am I getting dressed because you don't want Alison to see your naked lover? Or because you don't want her to know we're lovers at all?

Lucy: Well, both, I guess.

Aaron: Are you ashamed of me? Of what we did? Because if you are --

Lucy: Aaron, no! Of course not. I'm glad we made love.

Aaron: Then what's with the big cover-up with Alison?

Lucy: Because she loves you, too.

Aaron: We're buds. She knows that, too.

Lucy: Okay, if we hadn't just done what we just did, I'd say you don't know the first thing about women. She's crazy about you, Aaron.

Aaron: Lucy, you don't know what you're talking about.

Lucy: Okay, think what you want. But Alison's our friend and I don't want to throw this in her face.

Aaron: I get it.

Lucy: I don't want to hear her tell me how inexperienced I am. Or how could any red-blooded guy want to waste their time being with me.

Aaron: Lucy, you were perfect.

Lucy: She'll ruin it. I don't want her to know.

Aaron: So every time we want time to ourselves, we'll make her angry. And she'll throw a temper tantrum and then we might get a couple hours out of it.

Lucy: You mean, that wasn't the one and only time?

Aaron: Lucy -- that was just the beginning.

Lucy: All the more reason we have to keep this between us. We'll figure out what to do about Alison later, okay?

Aaron: Okay.

Lucy: What are you smiling about?

[Aaron sighs]

Aaron: I made love for the first time to a girl I love. And I'll do whatever I have to to make sure it's not the last time. When Alison gets back, here's what we ought to do -- we sleep in the car, get up at daybreak, and we'll go back to that school we passed, Rhodes College. Once we scrape enough together, we'll head straight down to New Orleans. When we get to Tulane --

Lucy: Aaron, I'm sorry I said what I said before.

Aaron: About what?

Lucy: About not telling Alison. If you want to tell her, if you want to shout it to the world --

Aaron: That's not what got to me, Lucy.

Lucy: What is it?

Aaron: I just wanted our first time to be perfect.

Lucy: It was perfect.

Aaron: Luce, losing your virginity in a barn, miles from home --

Lucy: The place doesn't matter. All that matters is -- it was you.

Craig: That's the first time in days I've thought of something besides Lucy.

Rosanna: Don't worry. You'll find her. They can't run forever.

Craig: I wonder if she has a roof over her head tonight.

Rosanna: Maybe it's better if they don't. The less comfy they are on the road, then the sooner they'll come home to the ones who love them.

Craig: Is that how it goes?

Rosanna: That's what I was hoping. You come here, and I find you in this lovely hotel with an Olympic-sized bathtub, I understand the delay.

Craig: Care to join me for a soak? See if any more ideas pop up?

[Rosanna laughs]

Rosanna: I would like that. Why don't you start the bath and find some bubbles, and I'm just gonna check my messages?

Craig: Don't keep me waiting.

[Rosanna laughs]

Rosanna: Hello. I can't come to the phone right now. Please leave a message

after the beep.

Nurse: Ms. Cabot, this is the nurse from the Ob/Gyn clinic at Memorial Hospital?

I'm calling to confirm your appointment for tomorrow morning. If you need to cancel, please give us a call -- thanks.

Henry: Okay, before we start fracturing body parts here, why don't you just hear me out?

Magda: Give me one good reason.

Henry: Money -- a lot of money for both of us.

Magda: Really, what do I have to do for this money?

Henry: It's very simple. All you have to do is tell me who was in Carly Tenney's office the night you threw me out on my rear.

Magda: How much we talking?

Henry: 50%.

Magda: Make it 60%. A girl's gotta pay for her karate lessons.

Henry: Yeah. Okay, you got it. Can you describe now that gentleman caller?

Magda: No, no, no, first we're gonna talk about how I get my 60%. I mean, what's to say your not gonna go run off with my share?

Henry: I admire your strength and determination -- those are things I really look for in a woman. That, and the black belt. How's that for collateral?

Magda: You're all right, Hank.

Henry: Look, the gentleman in question?

Magda: Yeah, I actually bumped into him the other day. I was applying for a job over at the hospital construction site.

Henry: Right, did you happen to get a name?

Magda: Yeah, he's the foreman over there. Name -- Mike Kasnoff.

Jack: Carly? Honey, I just had an idea. Why don't I come along to your appointment tomorrow?

Carly: Everybody is offering to come along to my appointment with me. Molly and you --

Jack: Yeah, why don't you take one of us up on the offer?

Carly: No, I think I can manage it myself, Jack. I can sit in a boring office, reading old magazines. I've done it a thousand times before, all by myself.

Jack: You're married now. You don't have to do anything by yourself anymore.

Carly: Listen, if I need backup, I will let you know. Now, Detective Snyder, you go and you protect and serve. Okay? I'll wait up for you.

Jack: No, no, you won't. You'll go upstairs and sleep, because you need your rest.

Carly: Not as much as I need you --

Jack: Hey, frisky, frisky.

Jessica: I can't believe I almost made the same mistake, again. How many more people have to be killed or destroyed before you cut loose that madman? You call Ben a lapdog? You need to take a good, long look at who's got you leashed and muzzled. Ben --

Ben: Jessica? What are you doing here?

Marshall: She's here on personal business.

Ben: What about Bonnie? I thought -- Bonnie --

Marshall: Jessica wanted me to locate a certain videotape which I have.

Ben: What videotape?

Marshall: That videotape you wanted? The one and only copy.

Jessica: Give it to me.

Marshall: Would you like to take a look at it, Ben?

Jessica: Please, Marshall, don't do this.

Ben: What's going on here?

Jessica: Nothing, Ben, nothing. Let's just go. Come on.

Marshall: You know, one of the best things about these business suites is that they come fully equipped with VCRs. You have to provide your own entertainment, of course. But there's so many interesting things you can pick up around town.

Ben: What are you talking about, Travers?

Marshall: The truth.

Jessica: Please, Ben, let's just go!

Marshall: The truth, Ben, which you've known for weeks. The things that didn't seem quite right. Questions that never got answered. Excuses that didn't seem to make sense. Not to mention those nagging doubts. So you can either sit down and get a confirmation, or you can let her drag you out of here and feed you some more lies.

Ben: Jessica, what "truth" is he talking about?

Marshall: Well, let's just take a look, shall we? Since pictures speak louder than words --

Ben: What the --

Marshall: Oh, just wait. It gets better, lots better. Take a long, hard look. The girl couldn't get enough. Maybe if she'd been this enthusiastic in the courtroom, she'd probably still be D.A.

Emily: Jack? Thank God you're here!

Jack: What's wrong?

Emily: Can we go talk somewhere in private, please?

Jack: Sure, in here. What is it, Emily?

Emily: I spoke with Alison.

Jack: What'd she say? Where are they?

Emily: I'm not 100% sure, but I can take a wild guess.

Jack: Okay, fine. I'll call the Police in the area, I'll have them picked up.

Emily: No, no, why don't we just call -- why don't we just call Holden and Craig --- and no one else?

Jack: So we completely alienate your husband?

Emily: I want those kids to come home, Jack. Safe. Not traumatized by some full-scale bust with sirens blaring. And I don't want Hal to be in a position where he's gonna do something he's gonna regret.

Jack: Where do you think Alison was calling from?

Emily: She said something about "looking at the king."

Jack: "The king" from where?

Emily: The king as in Elvis.

Jack: As in Memphis.

Emily: I'm thinking Graceland.

Lucy: This is so nice.

Aaron: This is a poor substitute for what you deserve.

Lucy: What do I deserve?

Aaron: A five-star hotel, a field full of wild flowers, a beach under a sky full of stars --

Lucy: I've told you. It doesn't matter where we are, as long as we're together.

Aaron: I keep hoping all the right words are gonna just come to me, so I can tell you how much you mean to me. But all I can seem to say is -- "I love you."

Lucy: I love you, too, Aaron.

Aaron: When you say it, it sounds like the most amazing words ever spoken.

Love is all that I need, I find there in you heart

it isn't too hard to see.

Marshall: You wanted the tape? There it is.

Jessica: And you had it all this time? Steinbeck gave it to you?

Marshall: He told me where I could find it, so I took it. What's on that tape belonged to me.

Jessica: So all this time I was begging for my daughter's life --

Marshall: I wanted to see how far you would go.

Jessica: And Ben?

Marshall: That was just for kicks. What? No tears, no shouting, no physical violence?

Jessica: Well, I'd have to give a damn about you first, wouldn't I? And I don't. You didn't even do this out of vengeance or jealousy, did you?

Marshall: Then why did I do it?

Jessica: To throw me off my game, distract me. Right before Paul's trial. You did all of this because you have to win.

Emily: Please tell me you have good news, Jack.

Jack: There's only one major billboard of Elvis Presley wearing blue suede shoes in the Memphis area.

Emily: Okay, well, where is it?

Jack: On a highway inside the city. You think these kids are back on the road again yet?

Emily: No -- I mean, I don't know. I doubt it. Because Alison said their car's a real junker, and I'm sure they're short on cash.

Jack: Well, assuming they're creatures of habit, they'll probably be headed towards a college or university in the area, looking for money and wheels.

Emily: Okay, well, how many schools are in the Memphis area, Jack?

Jack: Oh, just six or seven, give or take. It's gonna take Craig and Holden a lot of time to get to all those campuses. The key to finding them is manpower. If we had someone else on their trail --

Emily: What, someone else like Hal?

Jack: Well, he's the next logical choice.

Emily: There's nothing logical about that man right now. I'm telling you, when I dropped in to see him, he was like a stranger. Totally unreasonable.

Jack: I hate to break it to you, Emily, but that's his middle name.

Emily: No, Jack. Not like this. No.

Jack: He's got kids of his own, Emily. He's not going to hurt those three.

Emily: No, Jack, he doesn't look at Aaron like a kid. To him, he's some kind of monster -- some out-of-control pyromaniac who almost killed his son!

Jack: And I know that Will is the source of the stress he's feeling right now.

Emily: Which is exactly why I need to do this my way. I'm not just looking out for the kids, I'm looking out for my husband.

Jack: I'll call Holden.

Aaron: I wish Alison would get back here.

Lucy: I hope she didn't run into trouble with the car or get spotted and picked up by the Police.

Aaron: See, I'm not even going to go there. She's too smart to let herself get caught. Right?

Lucy: I'm wishing for hundreds of miles that she never tracked us down. I never wanted anything to happen to her.

Aaron: I'm gonna go take a look around outside, see if I see anything.

Lucy: You want me to come with you?

Aaron: Always. Everywhere.

Alison: Oh, please. Is this all you ever do? It's like you're joined at the lips, for Pete's sake! How do you even breathe?

Aaron: You know, we were just gonna go looking for you.

Alison: Oh, yeah. Real heavy into a manhunt, I can see that.

Lucy: Where were you?

Alison: Elsewhere, okay?

Aaron: What took you so long to get back?

Alison: I had to let that wreck cool off every two minutes. Go ahead, blame me for the car being in even worse condition, say I was wasting gas, I put our lives in jeopardy.

Lucy: It's okay, Alison. I'm glad you took some time to yourself.

Alison: Oh, really? Why?

Lucy: No reason. It's just that -- I think we all need a break from each other sometimes. I'm just glad you made it back safe.

Alison: Oh, I bet you were praying for my safe return the whole time I was gone. It really warms the cockles of my heart.

Aaron: Oh, don't act like that, Alison.

Alison: Well, when we get back to civilization, I'm sure she can write, "the debutante's guide to fleeing from justice." It'll be a best-seller.

[Carly dreaming]

Jack: Have I told you how happy I am we're having a baby?

Carly: We're not having a baby.

Jack: Then what the heck is that?

[Carly gasps]

Carly: I don't know! Where did I get that?!

Jack: That's what I'd like to know. We used protection. Safe sex, all the way, my fertile little friend. So what do you have to say for yourself? Forget it. I know what's going on.

Carly: You do?

Jack: We've been blessed with a miracle.

Carly: Yeah. Yes, that's right, honey. It's a miracle.

Rosanna: That was a big one!

Carly: What are you doing here?

Rosanna: She's getting delirious, darling. It's time to deliver this little bundle.

Carly: What? You're not --

Rosanna: Come on, darling.

Carly: You're not a doctor! This is not a hospital!

Jack: Oh, honey, don't you remember? We have all your babies here in Milltown!

Craig: All right. Now time for the paperwork. Now, who's this baby's daddy? Is this the construction worker's new addition? Or a chip off the cop's block? His or his?

Jack: It's not a trick question, is it?

Rosanna: Okay, now get ready. Push, push, push!

Carly: I can't!

Rosanna: The pushiest broad in Oakdale says she can't push. Push!

[Carly screaming] I just love listening to her scream! I could listen to this all night! Push!

Carly: What's wrong with it? I can't see it! Why isn't it crying!? What's wrong with it?

Jack: It doesn't look like me.

Carly: All babies look alike!

Jack: It's not mine!

Carly: He'll grow to look like you, Jack! I swear, just give him time! Just wait till he gets some hair. Maybe he just looks more like me. Well, who does he look like?

[Carly screams]

[doorbell rings]

Carly: Whatever you're selling, we don't want any.

Henry: I know, I'm sorry for dropping by without calling first.

Carly: Smart move. I'd have hung up.

Henry: But I have an offer that just could not wait another minute. Do you mind if I come in?

Carly: No. What do you want?

Henry: I want to save your marriage.

Carly: Excuse me?

Henry: Carly, I have evidence that you were drunk and disorderly with a certain Mike Kasnoff the night before your wedding. Now, I thought about going to Rosanna about this. But then I said, "hey, wait a second, wait a second, Henry. Give Carly first crack at buying you off." Now how does $50,000 sound?

Lucy: Check and see if you can find a street sign anywhere.

Alison: Why?

Lucy: So we know where we've been. In case we want to come back here and visit it.

Alison: Well, why would we want to do that?

Lucy: Well, one day, when we look back on all of this --

Alison: Not even in my nightmares.

Lucy: Oh, come on. We've had some fond memories.

Alison: Of a funky old barn filled with spiders and cow pies? I'll tell you where we are. The geographic center of the middle of nowhere. Now can you stop with your long, meaningful glances and private jokes till I'm asleep?

Craig: I'm glad Holden called to tell us Jack had a new lead.

Rosanna: Well, yes, that's very good news.

Craig: Only sorry it cuts your visit short.

[Rosanna sighs] I haven't realized how much I missed you, you know. I saw that beautiful face, touched that beautiful skin -- what is it? What?

Rosanna: What is what?

Craig: You came here to tell me something, so tell me.

Rosanna: It's kinda hard to say.

[Knock at the door]

Craig: Hold on. Hold on. T9 Holden.

Holden: I'm sorry to bother you, but I got some news.

Craig: What's going on?

Holden: Jack found out that the kids are here in Memphis. Right now.

Craig: Okay.

Holden: Why don't I go downstairs? I'll meet you in the lobby in about five minutes?

Craig: Give me 10 minutes. I'll be down. I'll be down. What's your rush?

Rosanna: I'm just gonna go. I'm gonna get out of here and let you check out. Everything will be fine.

Craig: No, you came here to tell me something.

Rosanna: No, no, no, don't worry. Don't worry. We've had a perfectly lovely time.

Craig: Something is bothering you -- tell me.

Rosanna: It's nothing. It's nothing that can't wait until after you find your Lucy and come home. Okay?

Craig: All right. But I'll hold you to that.

Rosanna: Okay. Good luck.

Craig: Thanks for dropping by.

Rosanna: I'll see you soon.

Carly: You want $50,000 to what? Pay off your martini tab at the Lakeview?

Henry: Still got that sense of humor. You know that is great, 'cause you're gonna need it. I have a witness who can place you and Mike Kasnoff together in the Monte Carlo offices the night before your nuptials.

Carly: There were a lot of people at my office the night before my nuptials. My wedding planner, my business partner, my fiancée. It was a very busy day.

Henry: But there's only one man you got busy with that night.

Carly: Give me a break.

Henry: No, no, no. You opened up a few bottles of the bubbly, you tore each other's clothes off in wild abandon. Please don't try to deny it, I saw the evidence. I saw the champagne bottles, I saw clothes strewn about the office.

Carly: You saw nothing, because there was nothing to see.

Henry: I saw London, I saw France. I saw Mike and Carly's underpants.

Carly: You are so on the wrong track here, and you are so messing with the wrong woman!

Henry: Wish someone had told Mike that before you did the deed.

Carly: Get out!

Henry: You know, when you think about it, I'm keeping your pristine little life in Milltown safe from the talons of Rosanna Cabot. Which is pretty cheap when you think of it that way.

Carly: Get out!

Henry: No, no. Not as cheap as sleeping with your cousin's boyfriend.

Carly: Leave me alone!

Jessica: Thanks for the tape.

Marshall: I'm sorry I have to part with such a treasured souvenir.

Jessica: Well, I hope you got an eyeful 'cause you'll never have the pleasure again.

Marshall: Oh, well, never say "never."

Jessica: Was I a memorable lover, Marshall?

Marshall: Absolutely the best.

Jessica: Well, you keep that in mind. 'Cause you thought I was good in bed? Just wait till we meet again in the courtroom. You ain't seen nothing yet.

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