ATWT Transcript Wednesday 5/29/02

As The World Turns Transcript Wednesday 5/29/02

Provided by Linda
Proofread by Ebele

Emily: A few people know -- my mom's closest friends, her doctors, obviously. But basically, it's a secret. I haven't told anybody in years.

Hal: Your sister Alison is really your daughter?

Emily: Technically. When my mom remarried, she wanted to have another child, but she couldn't conceive, so she decided to try in-vitro fertilization. And she needed an egg donor, and I -- I decided to volunteer. But my mom carried Alison to term, you know, so she's her mother, really, in a million different ways.

Hal: Well, Alison is biologically yours.

Emily: Which means what, genes? Where did I get my genes? My mother, right? I always told myself it's the parenting that counts, you know? I mean, I'd -- I'd find myself feeling pangs from time to time, but I just thought it was me getting used to the idea of having a child someday, you know, trying it on. But seeing Alison now, it's scary. She's me. I mean, her -- her attitude, her gestures.

Hal: Well, she's a teenager.

Emily: No, she is exactly the way I was at that age -- arrogant and sneaky and snarky and mouthy and missing the point, you know, getting it her own way. And there's my mother, making the exact same mistakes she made with me. If she would just tell her how great she is, how beautiful she is, that she can relax, calm down. You know, she'll get there when she's good and ready. But my mom, she's not gonna listen to Alison any more than she'll listen to me, so -- I mean, maybe if I got to know Alison better, maybe she'd listen to me.

Hal: Would you have listened to you?

Emily: Well, I wish someone had reached out to me in high school, aside from the boys. I broke my own heart, Hal, and I will do anything to help her avoid that.

Aaron: It's quiet at the barn -- good for studying.

Lucy: Not necessarily. I mean, a little background noise, it can help you focus. They've done studies that prove a lot of people can focus better with music on, while other people -- besides, it would -- it would take too long to get there.

Aaron: I told you, I've got my bike. Ten minutes tops.

Lucy: I can't. I've got that history final this afternoon. I mean, what if the bike broke down, or we got stranded or something?

Aaron: You've got your cell phone. Call your dad, and he picks you up.

Lucy: I don't think so.

Aaron: Why? Daddy wouldn't approve?

Lucy: Of helping you study?

Aaron: What are you so afraid of?

Lucy: I'm not. I've ridden your motorcycle before. It was fine.

Aaron: And your dad didn't look too thrilled about it when he found out. I mean, he probably got you home and laid down the law. "You're not allowed."

Lucy: He's not like that.

Aaron: Then what's the problem?

Lucy: There is no problem. If you want to go to the barn, it's fine. We'll just go to the barn.

Craig: For me? I thought no one cared. Got it?

Bellman: Yeah. You ordered an item from the baby boutique?

Craig: Oh, that was quick. Tell me, what did I buy? I asked the lady to wrap up something nice.

Bellman: Oh, here's the brochure.

Craig: Thank you.

Bellman: All right.

Craig: Well, look at this. You can swing in it, sleep in it, ride in the car in it. That's worth an invitation to a party, don't you think?

Bellman: Yes, sir.

Craig: Uh, thank you. Yeah. Love, to baby. Love, to baby. Love, to baby.

[Knock at door] Holden?

Holden: Craig.

Craig: Great. Thanks for coming by.

Holden: Well, you made it sound important.

Craig: Well, I wanted to run something by you, but while you're here, this is for Lily. It's a multitasker. It will do anything. It converts from a high chair to a swimming pool, does your taxes.

Holden: Well, thanks, we can definitely use one of these.

Craig: How is she doing?

Holden: She's tired, hungry.

Craig: I remember when Sierra was pregnant.

Holden: What's on your mind, Craig?

Craig: Well, Lucy got an invitation to a -- a party -- Paul Ryan and Rose D'Angelo's engagement party. I think you know how they feel about me. Lucy wanted me to take her, and I don't really want to embarrass her, and -- you think Lucy's dad is gonna be stopped at the door?

Holden: Yes.

Margo: You're telling me that Rose D'Angelo is in danger?

Henry: You line up the bibles, I'll swear on them.

Margo: Well, given who you are, Henry, that's not real persuasive.

Henry: Oh, I can be very persuasive in the right circumstances.

Margo: Like, when you're facing jail time, and you want to bluff your way out?

Henry: I am not bluffing. Rose is in grave danger.

Margo: Prove it, Henry, and leave your sainted mother out of this, because I want facts. I want an explanation. Why all the break-ins -- at Joe D'Angelo's place, at Rose's place, at her office?

Henry: I told you, I was looking for a letter.

Margo: What, Steinbeck? Is it Steinbeck? Is he threatening Rose?

Henry: You know, what -- what is it with this guy? I mean, everywhere, "have you seen Steinbeck? Have you seen him? Do you know where he is? Can you find him?" No, no, no. I have no idea who he is. But you know, I -- if this keeps up, what I should do, I should send him my resume, all right? I come pre-approved. You have a way of making a person really nervous.

Margo: That's great, because, Henry, I'm losing patience.

Henry: Detective, believe me, if I could tell you, I would. But I can't. Just know that Rose is in danger.

Margo: And the only thing that can save her is this letter that you can't tell me anything about?

Henry: Bingo!

Rose: What makes you think that Henry Coleman has my diamond?

Lily: We know that Katie and Henry went to the island to look for the diamond, and Katie and Simon came back, but Henry stayed -- for months. And now, all of a sudden, he's back, and there's break-ins at your house, at Worldwide.

Lucinda: Henry's an idiot. I mean, come on. Find a diamond on a desert island? Please.

Paul: So what are we -- what are we talking about? 10 carats, 20, what?

Rose: Oh, the size of a baby's fist. It was beautiful -- flawless. He'd have a free ride for the rest of his life.

Paul: A baby's -- and this is your -- your diamond?

Rose: It was. Honey, it was. Long story short, my mother's mother -- my birth mother -- found Joe, tracked me down and gave it to Joe and put it in a box of junk for safekeeping, I guess. I never knew anything, you know? Most of my life, I thought it was just this big hunk of glass. I guess my grandmother knew, you know, "someday this girl will figure it out." And I did, only to let it slip through my hands when Simon and his crazy sister showed up.

Lily: Simon's sister drowned, taking the diamond with her, supposedly.

Rose: Yeah, and it floated up to the surface somehow. I want it back. I mean, it's -- it's the only thing I have of my grandmother's. And if that little weasel thinks he can get his paws on something that's not supposed to be his in the first place --

Paul: Man, I feel sorry for that guy.

Lucinda: Rose, you're marrying the right guy.

Paul: All right, all right. So what I don't understand is why would he come back here? He has the diamond. Why not cash it in? Why put himself in jeopardy?

Lucinda: Exactly, because diamonds are negotiable, even a fabulous one like this one. He could have it cut up. He could sell it. He could take the proceeds and go to Las Vegas. But he's not doing that, is he?! Henry is here, rummaging around, looking for a letter.

Lily: What letter?

Lucinda: He didn't say.

Lily: Okay, but it couldn't be Worldwide business. Why would they break into Rose's father's house?

Paul: What about -- what about something from your past, something that you would have brought with you?

Lucinda: He'd want to blackmail Rose about something?

Rose: We already went over this, remember? No, my past is an open book.

Paul: Oh, what about the box of stuff your dad sent?

Rose: Nothing. No, no, yearbooks and dance costumes. That's it.

[Phone rings] Lucinda: Yeah?

Margo: Lucinda, it's Margo Hughes. I am questioning Henry Coleman.

Lucinda: Oh, good, Margo. Has he told you yet what he's after?

Margo: No, not yet, but he did tell me that Rose is in danger.

Lucinda: Of what? Not him. Not him, he's a twit. He's a wimp.

Margo: He seems to be implying that there are greater forces at work. What, he won't say, but he is scared. So I thought that maybe if you and Rose could come give him a little push -- could you come down to the station?

Lucinda: Rose, Margo wants to know if you'd care to come and question Henry personally.

Rose: Question him? I'll rip his tongue out.

Lucinda: You heard that. We're on our way.

Lily: I'll just leave a note for Holden.

Lucinda: No, you -- you'll do nothing of the kind.

Paul: I'll take Rose and Lucinda down to the station.

Lucinda: And you are going to sit right here, young lady. You're just going to sit here. Put your feet up.

Rose: And I will call you if we find out anything, okay?

Lucinda: And Rose, just tell Fenwick that I'll be out in a minute. All right, my darling. You're just going to stay here and stay put.

Lily: What did Margo say?

Lucinda: She said that Henry's being obstinate and that she wants Rose to go down there maybe and terrify him into submission.

Lily: Yeah? What else did she say, because I could tell by the tone of your voice that something is up?

[Lucinda sighs]

Lucinda: Well, she said Henry claims that Rose is in danger. But he was in jail. He's shifting focus, or else he wants to make drama so that he, Henry Coleman, will be the center -- center stage. You stay here. You think. Just think lovely thoughts of the baby or the party. I know Paul wants to do all. He wants to give the party, but he needs our touch. All right, darling? Please, just sit and chill.

Lily: Okay, okay.

Lucinda: All right, darling.

Lily: Bye.

Craig: I'm not a threat to anybody.

Holden: I'm not saying that you are. But you asked me a question, would you be stopped at the door? And I answered it.

Craig: Yeah, yeah, you're right. I appreciate that.

Holden: Listen, Steinbeck is somewhere in Singapore. Nobody knows where this guy is. So Paul put together a list for the door. Whoever is on the list gets in. Whoever is not --

Craig: Lucy's gonna have a hard time with that, though. She's always going on about, "why is Aunt Lily the only one in the family who likes her dad?" You know -- you know how it is. I'm sure you're -- it's hard for you when Aaron gets disappointed, right?

Holden: What are you getting at, Craig?

Craig: You think it'd be possible to wrangle an invitation for Lucy's old man? Huh? Huh?

Holden: This is Paul's party. He and Rose, they came up with the guest list. I think you'd better ask Paul. But I'll tell you this. Teenagers, they bounce back. I wouldn't worry about Lucy. I think Lucy's gonna have a good time. Can you do me a favor and get the door?

Craig: Yeah, sure. Thank you for coming by.

Holden: Hey, thanks for the gift, all right. I'm sure Lily's gonna love it.

Craig: Oh, anything for Lily. Well, if I can't get my own invitation -- I have a proposition for my beautiful neighbor.

Alison: That's right. Pack up and go home.

Lucy: So let's go, if you want to get some studying done.

Aaron: Uh-oh.

Lucy: What?

Aaron: Dad's rule. Can't ride in the street without a helmet for Lucy.

Lucy: You knew all along you only had one helmet.

Aaron: Your pulse is racing. Why's that, Luce?

Lucy: My pulse isn't racing. And even if it was -- you don't even take the pulse there. You take it here. Feel it?

Aaron: Bump, bump. Bump, bump. Bump, bump.

Alison: I cannot believe this girl. Hey. How's my favorite hell's angel?

Hal: Emily, from what I've seen, Alison can take care of herself.

Emily: You see, that is the problem. She looks tough, she acts tough. But she's not. I know, deep down she's scared she'll never get what she wants. And so she takes risks, she bets -- anything that'll get her there faster. And somebody's gotta stop her.

Hal: Today? You know, I think that she'll probably make it through the week. As a matter of fact, she'll probably even make it through the weekend.

Emily: You don't know what it was like in that spa, Hal.

Hal: No, but I do know what it's like to have your life taken away and how all you want to do is make it right as fast as possible.

Emily: Right. I know. That's why I've made my list, and Alison is right on top of it.

Hal: You know, Emily, if there's one thing I learned in that monkey box, it's that you put yourself on the top of that list. Because if you can't take care of you, you sure as hell can't take care of anybody else, Emily. You need rest. You need to feel safe. You need to let your mind find its way back home before it can take off in a new direction. Let go, Emily. I won't let you fall. And I promise, you can tear outta here and set the world on fire as soon as you're ready.

Emily: I screwed up, didn't I?

Hal: No, you did not screw up.

Emily: Yeah, I did. Alison couldn't get out of here fast enough. And my mom, I totally bit her head off.

Hal: Well, Susan is not the easiest of women.

Emily: No. No, she's not. But you know what? She's sober. She got sober, and she stayed sober. And that's huge. I mean, that's why I wanted to help her have this baby. It was like a second chance for the both of us. Only now I'm having these -- I'm having feelings that I shouldn't be having.

Hal: No such animal.

Emily: Okay, I'm having feelings that aren't productive or useful. Just explain to me, what good does it do me to have these maternal feelings for Alison?

Hal: Emily, there's feelings, and then there's doing something about 'em. They're two separate things.

Emily: You know, you got a much better deal at that monkey box. They didn't teach me anything at the spa.

Hal: Emily, you can't stop yourself from having feelings about Alison any more than you could stop yourself from -- smelling popcorn in a movie theater. Now, you don't have to buy the popcorn or eat the popcorn but you can't stop yourself from smelling it.

Emily: Okay, so I shouldn't buy the popcorn?

Hal: What does Susan say about all this?

Emily: Nothing. We don't discuss it. She is Alison's mother. End of story.

Hal: She does not intend to tell Alison what you did for her?

Emily: Nope.

Hal: Now, I'm no expert, but don't they tell alcoholics that they shouldn't keep secrets?

Emily: That's exactly what I say. I mean, it's the old elephant in the living room story. And one of these days, it's gonna sit on her. Meanwhile, Alison feels the tension. My stomach's in knots, and my mother keeps buying peanuts. I need to tell Alison the truth. I need to tell Alison that I am her mother.

Hal: Maybe. Or maybe not.

Hal: I don't know that much about mothers and daughters, let alone your situation, which is, to say the least --

Emily: Unique?

Hal: Well, custom, like everything else about you. But, you know, I have been through my own situation with Adam.

Emily: I know. You told me. And you said he was okay with it. He was great when he found out that you were his father.

Hal: Yeah, but he was a little boy, Emily. He didn't have an attitude and a driver's license. And look what happened to Bryant when he found out things that he couldn't handle. I don't mean to scare you.

Emily: No, no, no. You're right. I'm worried. I don't want to make things worse. What if I just told Alison that I love her, and I'm sorry for being such a bad sister?

Hal: Because she'd take one look at your face, and she'd pull it right out of you.

Emily: Well, then, tell me. What am I supposed to do?

Hal: Well, why don't you just skip the sit-down thing and just start by being her friend? Take her to the movies, take her shopping, have your nails done, do whatever it is --

Emily: Mothers and daughters do. Right.

Hal: Right.

Emily: Mothers and daughters do. Right.

Hal: Well, what's the point here? To tell her the truth or to teach her how to grow up?

Emily: Aren't they the same thing?

Hal: No. Just be with her, and if you decide that you need to tell her the truth, then the first thing you do is you go and you talk to Susan, and you square it with her.

Emily: Well, wait, why would I call Susan? Why would I call my mother?

Hal: You're gonna tell Alison the truth before you square things with Susan?

Emily: Do I have to?

Hal: Isn't that what you want to show your daughter? How a grown-up does things?

Emily: So is a grown-up allowed to bite the man she loves? Say, right here?

Hal: That depends on the spirit of the thing. You know what? You'll figure it out.

Emily: Can I figure it out tomorrow, please?

Hal: Absolutely. So, what's next?

Emily: New shoes. It's a girl thing. When your brain's in knots, you concentrate on your feet.

Hal: Right.

Emily: It works, really. Besides, I've gotta pick up Daniel.

Hal: Okay.

Emily: You know what?

Hal: Me, too.

[Door closes]

Lucy: Don't you have a final today?

Alison: Like I care. So what have you been up to?

Aaron: Not much.

Alison: I hear your aunt's engaged. Are you going to the party?

Aaron: Maybe.

Lucy: I'm going. Are you, Alison?

Alison: Would I mention it if I wasn't?

Lucy: Maybe.

Alison: Don't you have a final today? Like maybe right now?

Lucy: No, but you do. Comp lit with string fellow?

Alison: I'll make it up.

Lucy: They don't like you to do that, Alison -- students missing finals. They'll call your house.

Alison: Well, no one is there, unless you wanna wait in my living room and answer the phone.

Aaron: Gotta go.

Alison: Oh, I was gonna order us some chai lattes.

Aaron: Already had one.

Alison: Aaron? Are you coming back? I thought you were my friend.

Lucy: I am.

Alison: Then why are you trying to steal Aaron away from me?

Rosanna: So suddenly, I'm your "beautiful neighbor"?

Craig: Well, I ain't Mr. Rogers, but you are my neighbor. And you are beautiful.

Rosanna: What do you want?

Craig: Other than the pleasure of your company?

Rosanna: The word you used was "proposition."

Craig: And here you are. So you must be propositionable.

Rosanna: I'm curious. Whether or not I take you up on your offer is another story entirely.

Craig: I know you don't trust me. But I like you.

Rosanna: Of course you like me. I'm single, I'm rich, and I'm excellent dinner conversation.

Craig: Oh, yeah, you're clever. I like that. I like that.

Rosanna: Oh, what a relief. And here I thought I put you off somehow.

Craig: No, no, no. I enjoy you for you.

Rosanna: Well, thank you. That's very nice. Won't stop you from using me, however.

Craig: No, you will stop me from using you. You like that.

Rosanna: Well, Oakdale's a small town. And there's only one theater.

Craig: So maybe you're using me? So anyway, I had this -- this thought. Maybe we could take a walk. You know, maybe a perfect way for us to start over?

Rosanna: Who said anything about starting over?

Craig: Start over as friends.

Rosanna: I see.

Craig: I thought I'd start with something neutral, with plenty of plan bs in case we hit a snag.

Rosanna: A snag?

Craig: Then I had an idea.

Rosanna: You and your four-letter words.

Craig: Rose D'angelo and Paul Ryan's engagement party. You get an invitation to that?

Rosanna: I received an invitation.

Craig: So I thought -- my proposition is -- we go together.

Henry: We are bordering on brutality here, detective.

Margo: Oh, no, I'm gonna leave that to the experts. Lucinda and Rose are on their way.

Henry: What? No, no, no, no, no, no! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Lock me up. Put a guard on me here, okay? But just do not leave me alone with that woman.

Margo: Lucinda? Why, she's charming.

Henry: She's a wolverine in pantyhose.

Margo: Well, Henry, I will escort you to a cell personally if you'll just tell me what's in the letter.

Henry: You know what this is? You know what -- this is undue pressure, it is what this is. This is coercion. This is coercion! And it's unfair!

Margo: Well, it's still up to you, Henry.

Henry: What about my phone call?

Margo: Make it a lawyer. You'll need one.

Henry: Cooley? Cooley, hey, pal, listen. I am in way over my head here --

Rose: There he is!

Henry: And I need a paddle to get out --

[all yelling] it's your sworn duty to protect the citizens of this planet.

[All yelling]

Paul: Settle down! Settle down! Hey, Rose! Whoo! She's a pit bull, isn't she? Hey, I don't believe we've met. I'm Paul Ryan.

Henry: It's a pleasure. Paul, it's nice to know that someone in Rose's company has some manners.

Paul: Don't mistake me, Mr. Coleman. I'm not looking for a confrontation. But if you don't cooperate, I won't have a choice, will I?

Henry: I live to cooperate. I am your rollover guy. That's quite a grip you got there, Paulie. This guy's a kidder, right, Rose?

Rose: Don't bet on it.

Paul: Mr. Coleman, you're going to tell us about this letter.

Henry: My violin career -- would you go easy, please?

Lucinda: Give Rose five minutes with him, and we'll get the world.

Henry: Would you calm down, grandma? [Henry shrieks in pain]

Paul: Why don't you sit down? Yeah, why don't you sit down?

Henry: Ow! Ow! Okay, all right. All right. I'll talk, I'll talk, I'll talk, I'll talk. Only to Rose, for five minutes. Plea, Rose, that's all I need, that -- that and a hand surgeon!

Paul: Sweetheart, Mr. Coleman has made you an offer. Are you interested?

Lucinda: I say we get the felon arraigned first.

Henry: No, no. No, no, no. We don't want to do that. What I have to say to Rose -- if I don't rupture an artery first -- is strictly entrenous. Time is of the essence, Rose, if you know what I mean.

Paul: And you will conduct yourself like a gentleman in the presence of my fiancée?

Henry: Oh, I'll be perfect. I'll be perfect.

Paul: Rose?

Rose: Sure, why not?

[Relieved sigh]

Henry: Ice pack?

Margo: I'll get you a hanky, Henry. You've got five minutes, Rose, on the clock.

Paul: And I will be right outside.

Henry: You would marry such a person?

Rose: We're two of a kind. And don't forget it. Talk!

Henry: I have your diamond.

Craig: So I'm not saying that one date is gonna solve our problems.

Rosanna: So it's a date?

Craig: Think of it as parallel partying, then.

Rosanna: It's a date.

Craig: Yes, yes. But I'm not gonna try to seduce you or challenge you or outwit you --

Rosanna: You always try to seduce me.

Craig: So it's a date? Huh? I'll be charming. I'll show up on time. What do you say?

Rosanna: Why?

Craig: Why would I want to spend time with you?

Rosanna: At this particular party.

Craig: Well, it's a room full of people you know. You're gonna get tired of me, dump me, go talk to Emma, Lily --

Rosanna: Or Carly? Oh, that's where you'll be, isn't it, after you make her jealous by waltzing in with me on your arm? You're gonna turn around, dump me at the punch bowl and just spend the rest of the evening chasing after her. Well, thanks, but no thanks.

[Craig stammering]

Craig: Well, give me a chance to turn this around.

Rosanna: No. No chance.

Craig: Don't you want to see me try?

Lucy: If anyone's chasing after Aaron, it's you.

Alison: So? You know I like him.

Lucy: Fine. Whatever. This doesn't have anything to do with me. We just met here to study.

Alison: To study? What, motorcycle maintenance? He doesn't go to school.

Lucy: No, but he's studying to take his GED.

Alison: Oh, so you're his private tutor?

Lucy: We're just friends.

Alison: Oh, is that why he was holding your hand?

Lucy: He wasn't holding my hand. He was holding my wrist.

Alison: Oh, I'm sorry! Your wrist!

Lucy: He was taking my pulse.

Alison: I don't need to know!

Lucy: Look, Alison, he was trying to prove that I was scared of riding his motorcycle.

Alison: You've ridden his motorcycle?

Lucy: No. Not really. Just around the farm.

Alison: Oh, great. So you and Aaron go riding around the farm together.

Lucy: It's not like that. We're just friends.

Alison: Yeah, well, he's not just a friend to me. I thought you understood that.

Lucy: I do. What?

Alison: You wouldn't understand.

Lucy: Try me.

Alison: I'm sorry. I'm kind of touchy. It's not you. It's stuff at home. I told you my sister came back?

Lucy: Emily? Yeah, I heard she was back.

Alison: She is. And now my mom's twice as freaked. It's like I don't exist.

Alison: My mom was supposed to help me study for finals, and then my sister came home and -- I know it's a big deal, and I'm really, really glad she's okay, but it's -- it's weird. Before she left, they were constantly, constantly fighting. You couldn't go two seconds without a meltdown, and now it's, "my baby girl, my baby girl's back." Sob, choke. It's bizarre and hypocritical, and it makes me want to throw up. But why bother? Nobody would notice.

Lucy: They're going to notice when you fail comp lit. But it's okay. We'll tell string fellow that you were sick. I'm sure he'll let you make it up.

Alison: I'm telling you, they don't care. And I've accepted that. Fine. But it doesn't feel too good, and that's why this thing with Aaron --

Lucy: What?

Alison: Well, it's the same thing. I think he likes me -- or he could. But then you come along, and it's "Alison? Alison who?"

Lucy: No.

Alison: Did he or did he not run out of here?

Lucy: But that had nothing to do with me. He was fine up until you --

Alison: Until I what?

Lucy: He had to study. The test is coming up, and he promised his dad.

Alison: Whatever.

Lucy: Look, he's new in town. I'm sure if he knew what it meant to you, he'd, you know, be your friend.

Alison: So you'll help me?

Lucy: With comp lit?

Alison: With Aaron.

Lucy: I don't know how I could help.

Alison: Guess it doesn't matter anymore. The way he ran out of here, he must hate us. It's like we're contagious.

Lucy: We were being pretty obnoxious. Listen, I'm sorry I got on you about school.

Alison: Friends?

Lucy: Hey, but I got to go. Will you be okay?

Alison: Yeah. Thanks, Lucy. Hi. Is Aaron there? Oh, could you tell him Alison called? Thanks. Thanks.

Emily: Hi.

Alison: What are you doing here?

Emily: I just came for a cup of coffee, then I saw you over there. You looked pretty upset. But you weren't, were you?

Alison: Well, I was, but I'm okay. Boyfriend thing, but I solved it.

Emily: By pulling a number on Lucy Montgomery?

Rose: In your dreams. My diamond? My diamond is in a place a two-bit customer like you couldn't even imagine.

Henry: Where? On an island off the barrier reef where Simon Frazier's sister went for a swan dive?

Rose: Myth.

Henry: Fact.

Rose: Well, then, you know it's buried under two tons of water.

Henry: Correction. It was buried until Katie Peretti Frazier went swimming with sharks, and she comes back to the island with the diamond in her teeth. She holds it up for everyone to see and then a penguin flies by and takes off with it.

Rose: Penguins don't fly, you idiot.

Henry: All right, penguins, peregrines, plovers, whatever. It's all poultry to me. The bottom line is that this buzzard takes the diamond, Simon and Katie leave me on the island there to starve to death, thank you very much, when lo and behold, like manna from heaven, the same buzzard drops right at my feet with the diamond in his beak. On my sainted mother's grave --

Rose: Your sainted mother tends bar in Tampa.

Henry: Does she?

Rose: You're going to jail, Henry. That's it.

Henry: I have your diamond.

Rose: Prove it.

Henry: Oh. Oh. I have been waiting for this my entire life, for someone to say "prove it" when I actually can. You're gonna kiss me, Rose. I have a witness.

Craig: Just give me one minute. If I haven't made my case, I will let you go. I will never speak to you again.

Rosanna: Can I have that in writing?

Craig: Yes. All right, now, leaving aside the Carly issue for a moment --

Rosanna: No, she is the issue.

Craig: No -- well, there are other issues, but this is my minute, all right? Now, I'm going to this party because this is my town, and it's good business. Now, I could go alone. I'm used to being the outsider, but I think it would be a lot more fun to go with you, and that way, we can get to know each other better, as friends.

Rosanna: That's it?

Craig: That's it. That's it. Door's open.

Rosanna: Look, I know all about these small-town events and signature parties, and it's no fun going stag, but really, I expected a little bit more from you.

Craig: Like what?

Rosanna: Oh, maybe some grand protest about how you're over Carly.

Craig: No, I'm not gonna get over Carly, and neither are you. That's not the point.

Rosanna: It's precisely the point. You're gonna walk in there with me and make her jealous. You did it once before, you think you can do it again.

Craig: Yeah, of course I want to make her jealous. I want her to look over at you and me and say, "gee, maybe I made a mistake." Haven't you ever been dumped? Haven't you run into an ex and think, "hmm, gee, maybe she's moved on and maybe I made a mistake," huh? What's wrong with that?

Rosanna: You're convincing. But that's your best event, isn't it?

Craig: Now, now you see right through me -- all my flaws, lots of baggage. So what do you say? You want to go?

Lily: I have to call Craig and thank him.

Holden: No, don't. Don't do that. 'Cause then you have to talk to him. Just send him a note.

Lily: You know I adore Craig.

Holden: Yeah, and he adores you, too.

Lily: Yes, he does. And I need a present right now. It keeps my mind up what's going on with Rose. Break-ins and Rose and diamonds and Henry and -- ugh.

Holden: You really think they're all related?

Lily: Yes. There's no other explanation. And now Henry is saying that Rose is in some sort of danger. I just -- ugh!

Holden: Yeah, well, Henry is in custody.

Lily: I know.

Holden: He'll say anything. Don't worry about Rose. The Police are on it. Paul has got a whole bunch of people who are looking after her. She will be fine.

Lily: Please say that again.

Holden: She will be fine, and you need to relax.

Lily: Yes, I do.

Holden: All right, let's see if we can find a place for this thing.

Lily: Yay.

Holden: How 'bout the garage?

Lily: Come on, let's go. Upstairs. Please? Thank you, buddy. I love you.

Holden: I love you, too. Hey.

Lily: Hi.

Holden: Aaron.

Aaron: Hey.

Lily: Do me a favor. Tell your father to just take this up to the nursery.

Holden: Okay, okay. I'll do it. How's the studying going?

Aaron: It's coming. I've still got a ways to go.

Holden: All right. Well, you'll get it.

Lily: Oh, before I forget. Alison called and didn't leave a number. Okay?

Alison: Where do you get off?

Emily: You didn't just make Lucy feel sorry for you so she'd back off and you could move in on her boyfriend, did you?

Alison: I don't need anyone to feel sorry for me.

Emily: No, no, no, you don't. You don't, because you're a great kid. You're terrific. You don't need to use those kind of tactics. I know, because I used to do that kind of thing when I was your age.

Alison: Look, a few months in Europe does not make you all-knowing, okay? So if you have something to say, write a column and leave me out of it.

Emily: Wow. That was nasty. Maybe you should write the column.

Alison: I'm glad you didn't die. Is that what you want to hear? And that your face isn't all wracked up or whatever. But if I need advice, I'll go online. So welcome home and good-bye.

[Phone rings]

Lucy: Hello?

Aaron: They let you answer your phone in the middle of a final?

Lucy: I wish. The exam was postponed till tomorrow. The professor had some sinus infection or something.

Aaron: Good. So you gonna be at that party for Rose and Paul?

Lucy: Yeah. Are you?

Aaron: Yeah. I'll see you there.

Lucy: Great. I mean, that would be great.

Aaron: Work on that pulse thing.

Lucy: I'm hanging up.

Aaron: Okay, bye.

Craig: If you don't want to go, I'll try to understand.

Rosanna: Oh, hello, Lucy.

Lucy: Hi, Ms. Cabot. Nice to see you again. I'll be in my room, daddy.

Craig: Yeah, well, what about the test?

Lucy: It was postponed.

Craig: Well, she took her invitation. You want me to go in there and wrestle it away from her and rsvp Craig Montgomery? Plus, when will you do the honors? Rosanna Cabot and friend.

Rosanna: I don't mind sharing a car with you, and it would be fine if we had a drink together. But don't come on to me. And that means no significant touching.

Craig: Limits us to folk dancing.

Rosanna: And if you try to kiss me, I swear I'll bite you.

Craig: Promises, promises.

Rosanna: Oh -- and I'll rsvp.

[Door closes]

Craig: Oh, you're so good it's scary. Carly, eat your heart out.

Henry: A man named Cooley saw the whole thing.

Rose: What whole thing?

Henry: Well, broad, the buzzard, the beak, all of it. You know I -- I am gonna press charges.

Paul: Shut up. How's it going?

Rose: I'm not quite sure.

Paul: Oh, your father called. He's at the airport. He caught an earlier flight. Lucinda wanted to go pick him up.

Rose: No, no, no. Wait, you go with her, please? Would you please? Would you mind? Because with my pop, she'll drive him crazy. She'll make a bigger deal of this whole Henry thing than it is. Please?

Paul: You gonna be okay?

Rose: Oh, yeah, now that you softened him up, I can peel him like a grape.

Paul: I feel sorry for you, pal.

[Door closes]

Rose: All right, this Cooty guy.

Henry: No, Cooley, Cooley, Cooley, and you don't want to mispronounce his name. He's a very, very touchy guy.

Rose: Okay, he was on the island?

Henry: Yeah. Yeah, you can ask Katie. You can ask Lily and Simon. They all met him.

Rose: And he saw the diamond?

Henry: Saw it? I had to hit him over the head with a coconut to get it away from him. See, he thought the bird was his. You know, I mean, the whole island is his. So I hit him over the head with a coconut, and I ran off with the bird. But the problem was the island is only so big. So we had to strike a deal. If we ever got home, we'd split the profits 50-50.

Rose: Hey, what profits? That's my stone you're talking about!

Henry: I know. I'm coming to that, okay? So it was Cooley, the rock and me. Then the coast guard shows up --

Rose: What the heck are you doing here, then?

Henry: Have you ever tried to sell a 30-carat diamond, Rose? People start to ask questions, then they hit you over the head. Fortunately, Cooley still has a few coconuts, but you can only bang so many guys on the head before they come after you. That's why I'm here, Rose. You have the key, a key that's gonna make everyone happy.

Rose: Oh, yeah?

Henry: Mm-hmm.

Rose: Tell me what it is, or I'll bring you myself.

Henry: Right.

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