ATWT Transcript Monday 2/11/02

 

As The World Turns Transcript Monday 2/11/02

Provided By Linda
Proofread by
Ebele

Katie: Are you tired of those starved-down, pumped-up bodies we're forced to look at every day in the media? Then join me in a real workout for real people. You want strength? You want stamina and maybe a nice butt to go with it? Then join me in this amazing workout. Come on out, guys. Turn it around

Katie: These guys use their muscles every day in their work. They're naturally at their best. And you can be at your best, too. Just join us. You ready? All right, let's do this! Ready? March it out. And march. Left, left, left, left.

Simon: Do I look even close to being available?

Dahlia: It's a clever ruse, I'll admit.

Simon: It's a fact. You see that, Dahlia? Right there? That's a stop sign.

Dahlia: Really?

Simon: Yeah.

Dahlia: Even though I find you unbelievably attractive? And from what I've heard, you give new meaning to the word "available."

Simon: Well, you don't know the first thing about me.

Dahlia: Well, I got some information on you when I checked out Katie. You don't do much to cover your tracks. I mean, you've lived quite a life up till now. A lot of women.

Simon: You know, if I didn't find this so pathetic, it might actually be funny. You're making a video with Katie, and what? You're in here hitting on her husband? That's lame.

Dahlia: Well, the background I have on the two of you tells me a few things. Katie has an ambitious streak that puts Madonna to shame. And you have a roving eye. Roving hands. Roving heart.

Simon: What do you want?

Dahlia: Satisfaction -- professional and personal. And I think I can get that with Katie -- and with you.

Katie: Hey, what's with all the hush-hush between you two?

Simon: Oh, nothing.

Katie: Honey, listen, I am so sorry that I was so angry at you before. It was ridiculous. I think I was just nervous about the video.

Simon: It's okay.

Katie: So, were you talking about me?

Dahlia: Well, as a matter of fact, Katie, yes, we were.

Bonnie: Yes. And what does "I'm sorry" get me? Does it magically bring my linen napkins? No. They were supposed to be here yesterday -- be quiet, please! I am speaking. Then I'm hanging up. Now, Java underground is a prestigious establishment with a reputation to uphold. If that shipment is not in here by tomorrow, I will personally recommend that Mr. Jenkins finds a better supplier -- one with better work habits. That means delivery on time. Got it? Now this is me hanging up.

[Clapping]

Isaac: That definitely was a first.

Bonnie: You've seen me angry before.

Isaac: Oh, yes, yes, I have. But I've never heard you refer to Java as "a prestigious establishment."

Bonnie: Mm-hmm.

Isaac: I mean, it's been a dump, a dive, a hell-hole. But I mean, this definitely is a first. And did I hear you criticize someone's work habits?

Bonnie: Well, I come in here every day. I think I've earned the right.

Isaac: Oh, just a work-a-day girl, huh? I got to say, I think I'm moving up on you.

Bonnie: One moderately enjoyable date is not a changed person to me.

Isaac: Oh, so just the same 'ol Bonnie I knew a few months back, huh?

Bonnie: I haven't changed a bit.

Mitzi: I thought those Police badges were like gold. I didn't think you guys ever took 'em off.

Jack: Yeah, but it's not grafted to my body or anything, Mitzi. But not once in my life of law enforcement have I ever lost my shield.

Mitzi: It doesn't sound like you. You got everything else in here. Bullets, breath mints --- holy cow! What do you use this thing for?

Jack: Do you mind?

Mitzi: Sorry. Just trying to help.

Jack: I know that. I --

Mitzi: Look, I'm taking up space. Why don't I go loiter back at your place? Are you still okay with me moving in?

Jack: Yeah, yeah. Just remember, I warned you -- you may not be so thrilled once you see what a pig sty it is.

Mitzi: Clutter, right? So you can hardly move? You know, I read someplace that that's a guy's subconscious attempt to re-create the close environment of the womb.

Jack: I could have gone all day without hearing that.

Mitzi: Obviously, you don't subscribe to the right magazines.

Jack: Hey, Margo? Have you seen my badge?

Margo: What? I don't get it.

Jack: It's not a joke.

Margo: Well, where'd you leave it, Jack?

Jack: If I knew that, I -- you know, I -- please, please let me be wrong, but I'm beginning to think someone pinched it.

Margo: Come on, Jack. This is a Police station.

[Phone rings] hold on. Oakdale PD?

Mitzi: Kind of busy here, huh?

Jack: Yeah, why don't you get yourself together and head over to my place?

Mitzi: Thank you, Jack. Really.

Margo: Sure.

Mitzi: This is the nicest thing anyone's done for me in -- I can't count that high.

Margo: Okay. Okay, got it. Jack? It's the unit over at Fairwinds. I think you lost more than your badge.

Jack: Snyder. What do you mean it's not there? I saw the casket there myself. Yeah, I'll be there in ten. Yeah. You know, either those guys are blind, or someone ripped off my evidence.

Margo: Here, why don't you let me drive you over there, Jack?

Jack: Don't you have the Scudder case to worry about?

Margo: You know what? I can make better time. And quite frankly, I'm kind of worried about you. It's not like you to lose things, particularly your badge.

Jack: Damn. That casket was the first promising lead I had. Now it's vanished like another victim.

Pilot: I think it's gonna be a pretty quiet flight.

Air control: Roger that.

Don't let the boogie man get you.

Pilot: Well, I've been pretty lucky so far. I'm out.

Craig: Don't let me interrupt.

Pilot: Tell me you did not just come out of that coffin.

Craig: Like a phoenix rising from the ashes.

Pilot: You know, you're one crazy dead man sneaking up on a pilot in this day and age.

Craig: Well, I'm sorry about that.

Pilot: What the hell do you want?

Craig: Not so fast. I do the talking. And today's subject -- the other coffins you've flown out.

Jack: What's the story?

Slocomb: The gardener said a van showed up a little while ago. He saw some guys loading something into it.

Jack: Did he happen to mention it was a casket? It's not your everyday pickup, Slocomb.

Margo: Who called for the van?

Slocomb: My partner's checking up on it.

Jack: Oh, I feel so much better about that. You find out who, what, where and when, and you don't show me your face until you do.

Margo: Jack, he's a good cop. I mean, I'm not saying lighten up or anything --

Jack: Then don't! I should have stayed with that casket until forensics showed.

Margo: Jack, you are burning it at both ends. Why don't you just punch out for awhile and rest the leg, huh?

Jack: Are you gonna cluck over me like a mother hen for the rest of this shift? I got four people missing, Margo!

Margo: I know. And everyone in the squad is worried about Hal. But it's worse for you. You feel partially responsible --

Jack: Try fully responsible. Don't sugarcoat it. Hal called me right after he talked to Emily. And if I showed up sooner at his place, maybe this wouldn't have happened.

Margo: Would you give yourself a break, Jack?! Why is everything your fault, huh?

Jack: No, I can't let up, Margo -- not when Steinbeck's involved.

Margo: Have you ever considered that maybe Steinbeck had nothing to do with Hal?

Jack: No.

Margo: Look, Hal has mellowed a little bit -- he's still a maverick. Look, the way he feels about Emily -- he could have changed his mind after he called you and gone off looking for her on his own.

Jack: You don't believe that. Why call me and tell me to come over to his place if he was just gonna take off? And say he does leave the house. Why not call me on the fly? Why leave his badge?

Margo: Because he felt as power -- powerless to help those three women as you do now. Because I can see it. He got fed up, and he decided to go off and save the world all on his own.

Jack: Yeah, that does sound like Hal.

Margo: Yeah. Look, we -- we got to find him, Jack. And you're the man to do it. But you should just ease off the throttle for a few hours, huh?

Jack: Don't you have a murder to solve?

Margo: Yes, I do. See how I listen to your advice?

Jack: Okay. All right, I got some notes at home about carriers that have flown caskets out of Oakdale the past few months.

Margo: I'll catch a ride with Slocomb. You take the car, and you go home. Get some rest, look through your notes. I'll call you if there's any news about the casket.

Jack: Or my badge.

Margo: Yes.

Jack: I feel like I don't have any underwear on without it.

Margo: What?

Jack: I just thought of something.

Margo: You don't have any underwear on?

Jack: You want to help me out with something you're really not gonna like?

Margo: Oh, I don't think I have a choice here.

Jack: Find out where your brother is.

Margo: Oh, please! Why is Craig the default suspect in everything? He doesn't have anything to do with that missing casket.

Jack: Want to make a bet?

Pilot: Look, I'm not answering a thing. I mean, you stow away on my plane in a casket? Yeah, I'm landing this plane, and you're going straight to the cops.

Craig: Tell 'em Detective Snyder's on the case.

Pilot: You're a cop?

Craig: Call me Jack.

Simon: I was just setting the record straight with your boss over there.

Katie: About what?

Simon: About being 100% faithful to you. I'm trying to make it clear to Dahlia that I've only got your best interests at heart.

Dahlia: But then again, you aren't a video producer, are you, Simon? I mean, we do appreciate the moral support, but I have to say that I -- I believe I know what's best for Katie's business.

Katie: Whoa, whoa, whoa, you two. Time out. Not that I'm comparing the situation here to the parallel universe of my dreams -- that's the one where everybody loves and supports me, but we're pretty close, right? I thought. So can't you two just get along?

Dahlia: Well, that was my point to Simon. I mean, I'm getting along with him just dandy, or I'm willing to -- more than willing.

Simon: Your happiness, Katie, is my top priority.

Dahlia: See, we're both on your team, Katie. You know, you have ambition to burn. I'm just trying to harness the fire.

Katie: Ooh, can I copyright that? We should put that on the cover of the video. You're good with that stuff. She's good, right?

Simon: Oh, yeah.

Katie: Okay, so we're all okay, guys, one big happy family --

Simon: Look, don't worry, Katie, okay? We're gonna work it out, aren't we?

Katie: Good. Well, then why don't you two come and take a look at some things we got today.

Simon: Why don't you get everything packed, we'll take the tape home and watch it in bed.

Katie: Ooh, I like the way he thinks. Unfortunately, we can't do that, 'cause the guys really want to see it, and I want to show it to them. We'll just stay here and watch it.

Dahlia: I'll tell you what -- why don't you go have the director cue up the tape, and we'll be right in.

Katie: Okay. Whoo!

Dahlia: So you heard your wife. We're both part of team Katie now. So we have to make peace or she won't be happy, and since her happiness is your only concern --

Simon: You are such a temporary part of Katie's life. Don't go getting mixed up in any team.

Dahlia: Well, let's see, Katie is Mrs.. Frasier number what -- five?

Simon: Wow. Very thorough research, Dahlia. You've really done your homework. Do you also know that I like dogs, and my favorite food is chicken?

Dahlia: You know what? This must be a whole new world for you, Simon, actually needing somebody that way.

Simon: Well, it's a pleasure that you will never, ever know that. And Katie loves me more than this stupid video of yours.

Dahlia: We'll see.

Simon: If you come between us, if you even try, you'll be sorry that you ever met me.

Bonnie: Is that our supplier begging for mercy?

Isaac: Not exactly. Excuse me.

Bonnie: Did you just blow me off?

Isaac: If I did, I apologize. Now, will you excuse me?

Bonnie: Who are you talking to?

Isaac: Could you hold on? I'm trying to make some Valentine's day plans here, okay?

Bonnie: Really?

Isaac: Well, a man cannot survive off of one date alone.

Jennifer: Hey, Isaac. Bonnie, you got a minute?

Bonnie: Sure, sure. We're not through. Hey.

Jennifer: Hey.

Bonnie: How are you?

Jennifer: Oh, tired. Paul and I are trying to keep the home fires burning, mom's out on bail, and we still have no idea where my dad is. So just another bright, sun-shiny day.

Bonnie: I'm so sorry. I know you'd much rather be on a photo shoot in the Swiss Alps, but instead you're here in Oakdale dealing with another family emergency.

Jennifer: Well, things did seem to go a lot smoother when I was gone. Maybe the universe was trying to tell me something.

Bonnie: So how's Will doing anyway?

Jennifer: He's doing better, thanks. Paul's staying with him tonight, so I can finally get a night out of the house. But I brought pictures --

Bonnie: Yes!

Jennifer: -- From Europe.

Bonnie: Yes! Let's see, let's see. Ooh, looking fabulous, small-town beauty.

Jennifer: Oh, thank you, thank you. Oh, Giovanni Cervelo, the photographer and Amy Trenton, of course --

Bonnie: What, how many covers has she done this year -- 30, 50? And the three lords.

Jennifer: Yeah, I figured you might know some of these people.

Bonnie: Yeah. Not him. Who is that?

Jennifer: Count Manfred Bernhard. He used to let rich people use his villa in Rome.

Bonnie: Oh.

Jennifer: You miss it, don't you?

Bonnie: I did -- for awhile. But now things are pretty -- hello.

Jennifer: Yes, the duke of Glasgow, very hot -- available, too.

Bonnie: I know. I used to call him Ian.

Jennifer: Oh, you know him?

Bonnie: I was going to marry him.

Pilot: I don't know what you want, but I think you've got the wrong guy. I've never had any trouble with the cops.

Craig: Maybe because you've never been caught. I'm investigating the disappearance of three women, Chuck -- Carly Tenney, Rose D'Angelo, Emily Stewart.

Pilot: I never heard of them.

Craig: Sure about that? Let me tell you what I know. You've been smuggling cigars into the country for James Steinbeck. A switch to smuggling bodies out wouldn't be so tough, especially if they were pre-wrapped and you were well-paid, which I'm sure you are.

Pilot: Who's this guy, Steinbeck?

Craig: Chuck, I'm gonna be straight with you. The cigar thing is a non-issue. I actually like a nice cohiba myself from time to time. But these women, Chuck, were kidnapped, forcibly abducted. U.S. Criminal code title 9, section 55, chapter 12. Know what that means?

Pilot: No.

Craig: It means we can throw the book at you, Chuck. Using your own plane to fly the deed? That's fraud. You got a family -- loved ones depending on you, Chuck.

Pilot: Am I under arrest?

Craig: Well, just tell me where you've been flying the caskets, and then we'll see. Is this your flight bag down here, Chuck?

Pilot: Yeah.

Craig: Got a log book in there -- destinations, time of departure, that sort of thing?

Pilot: Yeah, but I'm not giving up anything --

Craig: We don't need your cooperation, Chuck.

Pilot: How long you been dying your hair, Jack? Now, why don't you tell me who the real criminal is?

Jennifer: I can't believe this. I was partying with this guy I never even knew. I knew he was a duke, of course, but I didn't realize that he was your duke.

Bonnie: Did he hit on you?

Jennifer: No, no.

Bonnie: Well, he must have had an off-day -- not that I care, I'm just surprised.

Jennifer: He cheated on you, huh?

Bonnie: He lied with every breath he took, Jen. I mean, I never planned on ever seeing his face again.

Isaac: You guys doing okay? Can I get you something?

Bonnie: No, we're fine. We're fine. I can get whatever it is that we want.

Isaac: Oh, that's right. You work here. You feel like doing that anytime soon?

Bonnie: Isaac --

Isaac: Okay, well, you just, you know, let me know if you need anything.

Jennifer: Thanks.

Bonnie: Why am I freaking out, Jen? Ian never took me seriously.

Jennifer: Well, he did ask you to marry him.

Bonnie: Temporary insanity on his part. He was just telling me what I wanted to hear.

Jennifer: That's all there is to it?

Bonnie: Oh, trust me. He'll get what's coming to him when I publish my diary.

Jennifer: You're sure?

Bonnie: Why?

Jennifer: Well, I don't know if I want to tell you now.

Bonnie: I knew it. I knew it. He did try to hit on you.

Jennifer: Oh, no, no, no. This has nothing to do with me. Oh, it's all about you.

Bonnie: I hate it when people smile about things I don't know about. Stop it!

Jennifer: I can't help it. I'm sorry.

Bonnie: What? Jen, come on.

Jennifer: Okay, okay, okay. Ian was miserable. We're on this terrace in this incredible villa, and all he can do is pour his heart out about how he screwed up the most important relationship he ever had.

Bonnie: He lost his stockbroker?

Jennifer: No. He lost his fiancé, the only woman he ever was engaged to and the only woman he ever truly loved.

Bonnie: No way.

Jennifer: He's all like, "this beautiful woman comes into my life, and I don't have the smarts or the courage to hold onto her."

Bonnie: He said that?

Jennifer: Mm-hmm. Isn't it incredible? I'm at a party halfway around the world, and I run into the man that was supposed to be your husband. Come on, haven't you ever heard of fate? You were obviously destined to find out that this man wants you back.

Bonnie: Why? Mr. Wonderful here cheated on me with everything that was not his gender. And I'm not quite sure about that, either.

Jennifer: I was telling him how sorry I was, you know, love lost and all. And if I'd known that he was talking about you, I would have whipped my cell phone out right there.

Bonnie: Jennifer --

Jennifer: Actually, wait, wait, my friend Isabella gave the number -- I'm sure that she can -- had the party -- I'm sure that she could still get you his number.

Bonnie: Jen, I know the number by heart still.

Jennifer: Good. Well, then, call him. What? Wait -- you probably do need a drink. You're right. Hey, Isa --

Bonnie: Don't, don't.

Jennifer: Wait, you and Isaac?

Mitzi: I didn't expect you back so soon.

Jack: Order. I'd almost forgotten what it looks like.

Mitzi: Cleaning up is the least I can do. Come on, sit down. Take some weight off that leg. It's no big deal, really, you know? A little straightening, a little laundry --

Jack: Lots of disinfectant.

Mitzi: Well, you had plenty of it under the sink. Rubber gloves, too, thank heaven. You know, I think something growled at me from inside the refrigerator. Oh, I hope you don't mind the flowers. I thought with Valentine's day --

Jack: Mitzi, did you see the magazine here?

Mitzi: Magazine?

Jack: Yeah, I wrote some notes on the back. I was sitting on the couch, and I put it on the coffee table. I'm pretty sure.

Mitzi: Where? Underneath, where the dust bunnies or under the cushions with the --

Jack: I'm serious, Mitzi.

Mitzi: I don't know, Jack.

Jack: What do you mean you don't know? You cleaned up. You didn't notice a magazine?

Mitzi: I'm sorry?

Jack: No, it's not that I'm -- it's not that I'm not grateful. I am. It's just that -- did you ever -- did you ever think to put something I might need in a place I might be able to find it?

Mitzi: There was just so much junk, I just loaded everything into a trash bag. I didn't throw anything away that looked important.

Jack: Where's the trash bag?

Mitzi: Out on the curb. You know, I can go out to the street and look through it.

Jack: Forget it. Forget it.

Mitzi: No, really --

Jack: It doesn't matter, okay? It's not important.

Mitzi: Then why are you raising your voice?

Jack: Because -- because of the notes. I'm having a bad enough day as it is, really.

Mitzi: Look, this is your work, Jack. I'm not gonna mess that up.

Jack: Never mind, Mitzi. I'll find the info some other way.

Pilot: You airsick?

Craig: Oh, you did that one on purpose.

Pilot: Well, I had to get us out of that turbulence, buddy. It'll be smooth from here on out.

Craig: That's all right. I'll be fine. I'm only sorry I won't be able to see Marseilles at this time. It's lovely in winter.

Pilot: You got that out of my bag, didn't you?

Craig: Yes, I'm feeling much better. Thank you very much. One thing about the Oakdale PD -- we always get our man. Now, my badge? Now, some answers would be nice. What I know already will be very interesting to Detective Snyder.

Pilot: Look, I flew two coffins into Marseilles. I came back empty. That's all I know.

Craig: Okay, thanks. I think I can work out the rest from here. Say, you want to give me a crack at landing this baby? I love to fly.

Katie: Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up. You'd better not be watching this video --

[applause] oh, I can't wait to see it.

Dahlia: Okay, roll tape.

Katie: Five, six, seven. Out, hit, hit again. Step and knee. And if you have a step at home, you can do it justice.

Dahlia: This is gold. This is pure gold.

[Applause] this confirms my suspicions. This tape is gonna fly off the shelves.

Katie: Well, it wasn't me, it was these perfect specimen of America's bravest. Thank you guys so much. It looks great. Thank you for doing this with us.

Director: All right, you specimens, I've got call times for tomorrow's shoot. Come on.

Firefighter: Don't make it too early, 'cause I want to go have a couple beers.

Katie: I'll see you tomorrow. Oh, I totally forgot what a thrill and rush it is to be in front of the camera. I'm so grateful, Dahlia. You took a chance on me when no one in this town would give me a job walking their dog. How am I ever gonna repay you?

Simon: Come on, baby, you must be beat. Shall we take off?

Katie: Yeah. Let me just hop in the shower.

Simon: Okay.

Katie: I'm gonna make you so proud of me.

Dahlia: I already am, Katie.

Katie: Thank you. Ow!

Dahlia: So was I right, or was I wrong? Seems like your wife's ambitious streak is starting to kick in, big-time.

Simon: Oh, is this where you're gonna bore me again with how you're gonna pit Katie and me against each other?

Dahlia: You're looking at this all wrong, Simon. I just want to make dreams come true.

Simon: Really? Well, my dream is for world peace and that you will disappear.

Dahlia: Well, maybe I can give you something that might change your mind.

Simon: Back off!

Dahlia: Come on, Simon. You liked it. Just give it some time. Maybe you'll change your mind.

Isaac: A couple dozen. Some white, red, yellow, you know -- and some of those little bitty, what do you call 'em -- baby's breath. Definitely, maybe a spray of -- may I help you?

Lisa: Make it three dozens, just all red.

Isaac: Make that three dozens, all red. Thank you. You do know this is none of your business.

Lisa: Yes, and that's why I'm eavesdropping. Come on, don't make me ask. Who?

Isaac: Bonnie, Valentine's day. But then again, you probably pieced that together, you being you of course.

Lisa: Oh, well, let's see, that's a beautifully veiled compliment. How can that be a compliment? No, wait a minute, here you're getting roses for the girl you can't stand?

Isaac: Bonnie and I went out.

Lisa: Oh, and you did behave, I do hope. Look, I saw the two of you back there in the storage room.

Isaac: You didn't see anything at all. We weren't doing nothing.

Lisa: Yeah -- oh, I have eyes. I have eyes. I know what I saw. You hardly had any clothes on.

Isaac: We were locked in, and the sprinkler system went off. Why am I sitting here, explaining this to you?

Lisa: Well, I think you're just doing that out of love and deep respect. Come on, the date, honey, the date.

Isaac: It was formal.

Lisa: Oh.

Isaac: It was nice.

Lisa: Yeah.

Isaac: Okay, fine, you're right. You were right. It's more than just an attraction. You were absolutely right. Are you satisfied?

Lisa: Yes, I am.

Jennifer: What in the world do you have in common with Isaac Jenkins? Hey, I'm all for keeping it real, or whatever, but you two don't even live in the same reality.

Bonnie: Tell me about it. But the truth is, we went out, and it wasn't a disaster.

Jennifer: Wait -- went out, or have been going out?

Bonnie: One date.

Jennifer: Oh, one date, come on. That's like a handshake. We're talking about the Duke of Glasgow, Bonnie. Come on.

Bonnie: I'm quite familiar with who the man is, Jen. In fact, he's the only man I've ever been familiar with.

Jennifer: Well, if you're gonna pick someone for your first, it might as well be royalty. Me, personally, I prefer carpenters, of course, but let's not get onto that subject. Billy isn't here tonight, is he?

Bonnie: Wouldn't I have already told you if he was? Oh, Jen, this whole royalty thing -- it's like a curse, you know? My whole life, all I ever wanted -- I was just so blown away from the titles. I just wanted one of my own.

Jennifer: What's wrong with that?

Bonnie: You're always playing catch-up with these people. They accepted me, but I always felt like I may be a novelty to them. Coming home -- I can't believe I'm saying this -- was actually a relief. I mean, at least here, people don't care about who I was seen with or how many royals I knew.

Jennifer: So you honestly don't miss it? Because if you do, just remember, Ian is pining away for you.

Bonnie: I can't just blow Isaac off. Jen, on our date, he brought in a bagpiper -- in here -- just to sing for -- play for me.

Jennifer: Wow. You know, I just -- I can't believe this is happening, really. I mean, how can you just turn your back on that life forever?

Bonnie: I didn't say I was turning my back on it, Jen. I just don't miss it like I used to or like I thought I would.

Jennifer: You'll get over it, trust me. Oakdale is always gonna be here, but in Europe, there were all kinds of girls willing to do anything for 30 seconds of face time with Ian. So call him!

Bonnie: I can't call Ian until I talk to Isaac first.

Jennifer: Why? What could he possibly say?

Bonnie: "Ce la vie, have a nice life," probably. And then start a whole new volume of his little black book.

Jack: Mitzi?

Mitzi: I went through all the bags I filled up, but I only found three magazines, and none of them have anything written on the back.

Jack: I called the station. Turns out I took the magazines to work.

Mitzi: Oh. Whew. For a minute there I thought you were gonna toss me out on my feather duster.

Jack: The place looks fantastic. It really does. And I'm sorry. I was a total jerk when I came in here. I owe you a major apology.

Mitzi: Oh, I don't accept --

Jack: No --

Mitzi: There's no reason.

Jack: Mitzi -- a lot of things have been going wrong for me lately. That's no excuse to take it out on you. You were just trying to help.

Mitzi: Look, I know this might be a sore subject right now, but it's no secret how worried you are about Carly. I mean, I feel ten times that for Rose, so I know how it is. And if I'm in the way here, these boots were made for walking. I can find someplace else --

Jack: No, stay. Mitzi, stay. It's nice to have someone around who's going through the same thing I am -- especially someone who knows how to cook. What smells so good?

Mitzi: Rose's famous spaghetti sauce.

Jack: Wait a minute, you mean, you actually found something in here worth eating?

Mitzi: No, I picked up a few things on my way home -- here. And, you know what? I better check on that. So --

Jack: All right.

Mitzi: Jack, I'll remind you not to give up hope if you do the same for me.

Jack: Deal.

Mitzi: Rose and Emily and Carly -- they're all coming home.

Jack: I keep praying.

Mitzi: Dinner in a few minutes?

Jack: Sounds good to me.

Mitzi: Oh, and then you can tell me where I can put my stuff so I'm not in the way.

Jack: Oh, why don't you put whatever you got up in the bedroom.

Mitzi: Okay.

Jack: No, no, no, I only have one bed. I'm gonna hang out on the couch.

Mitzi: Right.

Jack: Right, my leg -- I can put it up on the arm.

Mitzi: Of course, no, I wasn't suggesting that you were suggesting --

Jack: No, fine, I know. I know.

Mitzi: Dinner. Dinner.

Jack: Great.

Mitzi: A glass of Chianti, or are you on duty?

Jack: Whatever you're having.

Mitzi: Okay.

[Phone rings]

Jack: Snyder.

Margo: Hey, it's me.

Jack: You got my coffin?

Margo: Oh, Jack, have I got a mouthful for you. First of all, we found Craig's car parked on a back road behind Fairwinds.

Jack: I knew it. Any sign of him?

Margo: And secondly, I don't owe you a year's salary yet, but I might.

Jack: Why?

Margo: No sign of Craig, but the casket was shipped out on a private jet.

Jack: What's the carrier?

Margo: We're working on that. However, the pilot has changed his flight plan, and he's headed back to Oakdale. Nobody knows quite why yet, but when the plane lands, we will meet it, and so I found your casket.

Jack: But no sign of your brother. Not a stretch, Margo.

Margo: If Craig steps off that plane, Jack, I will cuff him, and I will deliver him to you personally.

Jack: You sure about that? 'Cause if he did everything I think he did, I'm gonna kill him.

Jennifer: Now, one thing I don't get -- how come you need to run any of this by Isaac? You've only been out with him once.

Bonnie: As far as once in a lifetime goes -- it was really, really good. Better than Ian. We didn't.

Jennifer: Uh-huh.

Bonnie: Haven't.

Jennifer: Uh-huh.

Bonnie: But, you know, I was thinking about it.

Jennifer: Okay, reality check, Bonnie. When you first came back to Oakdale, all you did was complain about what a hick town it was. You couldn't wait to get back to your old life.

Bonnie: Well, Miss Scarlett O'Hara has adjusted her position just a little bit. Oakdale isn't that bad.

Jennifer: See, I thought you were snobby about it at first, but then --

Bonnie: You got a taste of the good life.

Jennifer: Oh, yeah. And that world, your world, hopefully soon to be my world, is wonderful. Really. And the people that you used to hang out with --

Bonnie: Fun, huh?

Jennifer: Yeah, it's like a dream. And reality check number two -- okay? Ian wants you, okay? And he's royalty, and he seems really nice and sweet and funny and romantic. And isn't it just a little bit tempting to know that you have a man's heart in the palm of your hand? Those are his words, you know, not mine. Look, Isaac's great, and I'm sure that everyone loves him, but don't you want your real future back?

Bonnie: Ian crushed me, Jennifer. He hurt me.

Jennifer: Which he regrets more than anything else in his life -- also his own words. So come on, Bonnie, at least give yourself a chance to hear him out.

Bonnie: I will -- after I talk to Isaac.

Isaac: About what?

Jennifer: See you later.

Isaac: You look like you've been crying.

Bonnie: Crying? Please.

Isaac: Are you upset or what?

Bonnie: I just have a migraine coming on -- I shouldn't have come in tonight.

Isaac: Well, if you want to, you can --

Bonnie: Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, I'm gonna go home. Thanks. I'll be in tomorrow.

Isaac: You know, you've got that shipment coming in. I almost wish the supplier would mess up again so I could see you in action.

Bonnie: Well, you know what they say -- everyone deserves a second chance. Wonder if they're right.

Lisa: Jennifer? Darling?

Jennifer: Oh, hi.

Lisa: I'm not sure if you know this, but your mother's staying with me for awhile.

Jennifer: Yeah. Yeah, Paul told me. Thank you. I'm sure she really appreciates that. Oh, wait, Bonnie?

Lisa: Honey, wait. Look, I know that your mother has hurt so many people who are near and dear to her, but right now she needs help. And we're all trying to --

Jennifer: Excuse me, I really don't mean to be rude, but whatever happens to my mother is her own fault. She has you. That's great. You're a wonderful person. But right now, we're all focused on trying to find my dad, so --

Lisa: I know. Of course. And the boys -- how are they doing?

Jennifer: They're doing better. Thanks for asking. Paul and I are taking good care of Will. And Parker spends a lot of time at Dr. Dixon's. But we hang out with him, too.

Lisa: I know -- sweetheart, I know that this is a devastating time for you. But please, if you can find it in your heart to drop by and see your mother whenever you like, please do.

Jennifer: Um -- could you give this picture to Bonnie for me?

Lisa: Well, of course. Well -- what a glamorous picture. I don't think I know anyone in here. Where was this taken?

Jennifer: Bonnie knows.

Lisa: Oh.

Simon: Hey.

Katie: Hey.

Simon: Look -- listen, we got to talk.

Katie: No, listen, me first.

Simon: No, Katie, I --

Katie: I am so sorry for before. I just really want you to know how stupid I was being. And I feel ridiculous for it. I am so sorry, and I totally am forgiving you.

Simon: You're forgiving me? Forgiving me for what?

Katie: I know I saw you trying to get along with Dahlia, and you were working really hard at it. And I really appreciate that. I know that you're doing it because you love me more than anything.

Simon: Yes, yes, the love part -- the love part is true. But, listen, about Dahlia --

Katie: I know she's hard-nosed. She's totally hard-nosed. She's a hard-nosed businesswoman. She's hard to get along with. She rubs people the wrong way. But you are doing it beautifully, and I love you for that.

Simon: Listen, listen, listen, I meant what I said before about wanting to make you happy, all right? Happy in life, happy with me. The thing is, with Dahlia --

Katie: I am so happy. That's what you don't understand, honey.

Simon: No, listen to me.

Katie: I am happy. I'm happy with you and my life and my future and the video. I've never been happier in my life, and it's all because of my beautiful husband. Okay, I have to go.

Simon: Where do you have to go? Wait, wait, listen.

Katie: Oh, I forgot to tell you -- I'm supposed to help Lucy move. She's moving out of Lucinda's, back into Craig's, and I have to move her stuff.

Simon: Wait. What? You have to do this tonight?

Katie: Yeah. She's been so good to me. I owe her that much at least. I love having a little protégé, it's great. Ah! I love this life. I cannot believe that it's mine. I'll see you at home, okay? Wear something sexy.

[Doorbell rings]

Craig: Howdy, partner.

Jack: That face. It's taking every ounce of restraint I have not to plant my cane in it.

Craig: Indignancy, Jack? For all I've been through for you?

[Jack laughing sarcastically] having me picked up by a squad car? That's beyond the pale after what I've accomplished.

Jack: What you've accomplished, Craig? Well, let's review -- you stole my badge, my lead, commandeered a casket, not to mention stowed away on a plane.

Craig: Well, whatever. It worked like a charm. Okay?

Jack: Hmm, well, Geraldo, let's hear what you got.

Craig: I got where Rose and Emily were taken after they were abducted. Well, come on, crime fighter man, how about a hardy, high-ho, "thank you, Craig"?

Jack: Where are they, Craig?

Craig: "Nice job, Craig."

Jack: Where are they?

Craig: Marseilles. They were flown to Marseilles. That's in France.

Jack: Yeah, I know where it is. Jackass.

Craig: Is that gratitude, Jack? You're so emotionally challenged, it's hard to read you.

Jack: Steinbeck probably knows what we know now, Craig. Why? Because you went rogue.

Craig: Rogue, huh?

Jack: And you started sticking stolen badges where they don't belong.

Craig: I got the goods, didn't I?

Jack: Yeah, you also left a trail of the entire investigation. Who the hell do you think we're dealing with here?

Craig: What am I supposed to do, Jack? Carly's life is in danger, too. And now we can tie them all three to France. All you've managed to do is break your ankle.

Jack: I'm going out of my way to make sure that Carly stays safe. Do you know how, Craig? By not telegraphing my every move. You're an amateur, Montgomery! And you've probably screwed this whole thing up six ways to Sunday! So you want to get into a spitting match with me over --

Mitzi: Dinner's on, Jack!

Jack: Craig's not staying. You better wipe that smirk off your face.

Craig: I think I've underestimated you, Jacko. Your ankle may be busted, but I think everything else is working over time.

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