As The World Turns Transcript Monday 9/10/01


Provided by Stephanie
Proofread by Fran

Katie: That was fun.  But we're never gonna get any wine made if we keep getting distracted. 

Bruno: Just my luck.  A perfectionist. 

Simon: Hey! 

Katie: Simon!  Oh, you're hurt.  Are you hurt?  Are you okay?  What happened? 

Bruno: So much for asking, but who is this? 

Katie: My husband. 

Bruno: Oh, okay.  I better get going.  Look, I don't know what's up with you two, but this is the most fun I’ve ever had standing up, so if it doesn't work out, call me.  You have my card.  I'm gonna leave you another one, just in case.  Ciao. 

Simon: Ah! 

Katie: Simon!  What happened?  Are you okay?  You're totally hurt! 

Simon: No, no, you tell me -- who was that guy you were kissing? 

Katie: Oh, the guy that just left?  That's Bruno.  We've been dating. 

Rose: And that, my friend, is just the butler's pantry. 

Mitzi: I didn't even know pantries had butlers. 

Rose: Neither did I! 

Mitzi: Look at you, rose!  When I left last year, you were a whatcha call it -- persona non gratis.  I took bets in Atlantic City that you would be back in the kick line by Thanksgiving. 

Rose: Oh, no.  My dancing days are over. 

Mitzi: I beg to differ.  You were shaking it real nice at the Lakeview last night. 

Rose: Yeah, yeah, yeah?  You really think so, yeah? 

Mitzi: Oh, yeah.  And, oh, you gotta see the number they got the girls doing' now.  I've been watching 'em. 

Rose: Really? 

Mitzi: Yeah.  Check this out. 

Rose: Oh, no.  [Mitzi vocalizing]

Rose: Oh, it's one of those things?  It's like the strip thing? 

Lucinda: What is going on?  Are you learning the hootchie-kootchie on my carpet? 

Barbara: You audacious pig! 

Craig: It makes perfect sense, Barbara!  You put your shares with mine.  We form a voting block.  We vote Lucinda out. 

Barbara: Why should I help you?  You tried to kill me! 

Craig: Actually, another man confessed to that crime. 

Barbara: Owen Dever may have planted that bomb, but you murdered me. 

Craig: You're not dead, Barbara. 

Barbara: Yes, I am.  Everything that was Barbara Ryan is gone.  All that's left is a form without a face.  Look at me, Craig!  You can't even look at me in the eyes because you know that I am right. 

Craig: Barbara, if I could change what happened in the past, I would change it without hesitation.  But I recommend you look to your future.  You do still have one. 

Barbara: As what? 

Craig: You aren't tired of the way Lucinda lords around town?  Huh?  You put your shares with me, Lucinda is out.  And you are the force to be reckoned with.  I think you always wanted that. 

Barbara: I wanted love.  I wanted to be happily married to a man who adored me.  Instead, I survived several months by being married to a man who made a fool of me. 

Craig: That was never my intention, Barbara.  All I was trying to do was make us rich.  [Barbara laughs]

Barbara: Well, that's why you were kissing Carly minutes before our wedding.  A treasure map must have been stuck down her throat. 

Craig: Stick to the subject. 

Barbara: Of what?  Us being partners?  Don't be ridiculous.  I don't need to overthrow Lucinda Walsh to make my mark on the world. 

Craig: All right, let's talk turkey.  Your company is losing money.  BRO is about to go under.  BRO needs a savior, and like it or not, Barbara, I am the man for that job. 

Carly: I can't do this. 

Jack: We can't fight it, Carly.  And why should we?  I love you.  You're the only woman I'll ever love. 

Carly: Now you love me, but what about later?  It's bound to happen, Jack it always does.  I'll look at you, and instead of what I see now, there'll be disappointment -- uncertainty.  You won't even know it's there. 

Jack: I was there.  Take another look.  The only thing you'll see is me and my commitment.  And it's not going anywhere, I promise you that.  I sent my ego packing. 

Carly: What about me?  Am I allowed to have any uncertainty?  I thought we loved each other enough that we could get through anything, Jack.  But instead, whenever something happened, I had to beg you to keep having faith in me.  I can't do that anymore. 

Jack: You're right.  Everything you said is completely true.  And it's all my fault.  But I'm gonna fix it. 

Carly: How? 

Jack: By bringing you home -- to Oakdale, where you belong. 

Jack: Why don't you come home before that happens? 

Carly: Because I don't even know where home is anymore Jack!  That's why I'm lugging my portfolio all over this town, trying to get somebody to say something other than, "You've got great talent, Ms. Tenney.  Too bad you don't have enough experience."

Jack: Just like I’ve always told you, with the amount of experience that you have, it's only a matter of time before someone's smart enough to give you a break. 

Carly: That's what I have to keep telling myself.  That if I want to be a designer, I have to keep knocking on doors. 

Jack: Yeah, but do those doors have to be here? 

Carly: Yes.  They sure as heck aren't in Oakdale, Jack, so unless I want to pack and go to Paris -- the only chance I have at making something of myself is here.  And it doesn't cost plane fare. 

Jack: All right.  So this is where you need to be. 

Carly: For as long as it takes. 

Jack: Are you shaking? 

Carly: Why wouldn't I be?  My savings are shrinking faster than my morale.  This hotel room costs a fortune.  And the rents here are ridiculous, Jack! 

Jack: Don't tell me you're already thinking about quitting? 

Carly: Whenever I do, I think about Jessica Griffin making me look like a parasite, living off one man after another.  Hers will not be the last word, Jack.  The next time they hear my name in Oakdale, it will be because I am somebody. 

Simon: So his name was Bruno, and you've been dating? 

Katie: Nothing serious.  Just a chance meeting at the lounge downstairs, a few glasses of wine, a walk under the stars.  It's an Italian thing, you wouldn't understand. 

Simon: And you would?  You're not Italian, Katie.  You're as American as cherry pie. 

Katie: Apple. 

Simon: Whatever. 

Katie: And, yes, you are technically right, but I do have Italian roots, as does he, which makes us simpatico.  That means we understand each other. 

Simon: Yeah, I know what it means.  I have a knife wound, not a lobotomy. 

Katie: Anyway, one thing led to another -- a knife wound? 

Simon: No, no, don't you get off the subject. 

Katie: Being Italian led to making wine in my bare feet like the peasant women used to do. 

Simon: Well, at least you're wearing your bikini like the old peasant women used to do. 

Katie: That was Bruno's idea. 

Simon: Yeah, I bet it was. 

Katie: Grape juice stains. 

Simon: So what do you call it?  Cabernet de infidelity?  Suppose your new boyfriend doesn't know you have a husband. 

Katie: Oh, yeah, and he's totally cool with it. 

Simon: Oh, good. 

Katie: He goes by the European philosophy.  You know, he says, "marriage is for making babies, but making love is for making love."

Simon: Well, you see, now I get it.  He's a poet. 

Katie: You don't mind, do you?  I mean, you always said that ours is not a real marriage.  Right? 

Simon: Yeah, right. 

Katie: Here, let me help you.  Would you relax?  Are you going to tell me what happened or what? 

Simon: All I can say is never eat at the Cafe du Latte. 

Katie: You were protecting Lily. 

Simon: Something like that. 

Katie: And now, you're back, without her? 

Simon: Yes.  Lily's still in Malta, but she's found Holden.  And they're going to be okay.  Can you please help me up? 

Katie: Sure.  Here, let me see that.  Ow. 

Simon: It's not -- it's actually not that bad.  Ow!  Ow!  Ow!  Okay, it's bad.  Just don't touch it. 

Katie: Okay, well, you're gonna need a new dressing, all right?  I can do that.  Here, just lean on me.  I can hold your weight.  Did you miss me? 

Simon: Yes.  Yes, I did. 

Katie: Good.  Because after we get that cleaned up and get you a new dressing, we're going to have a little talk. 

Simon: About? 

Katie: Our future, of course. 

Lucinda: Oh, I should have known better than to leave you in charge of anything when I went away. 

Rose: Hey! 

Lucinda: We have an important meeting coming up at worldwide, by my protégé -- my protégé, no, what is she doing?  She's practicing the fandango, or the fan dance.  I don't know what it is. 

Mitzi: That wasn't a fan dance, it was a --

Rose: Why are we talking' about this stuff?  You're gonna tell me everything that happened in Malta!  I need to know everything! 

Lucinda: Lily is fine.  And Holden, too. 

Rose: And Luke?  What about Luke?  He wasn't hurt, was he? 

Lucinda: Luke has been through a lot of things, but we're praying that everything's gonna come out all right in the end. 

Rose: I just want to wrap my arms around all of them.  You know?  Thank you, thank you!  Oh, I was praying to St.  Jude over and over again, like, 100 times a day. 

Mitzi: The patron saint of lost causes.  He's a favorite in Atlantic City. 

Rose: Oh, yeah, he came through this time.  This time -- oh, you gotta tell me everything!  All the details, Ms. Walsh! 

Mitzi: Yeah, it's a romance novel or something. 

Rose: Don't hold me in suspense.  Come on! 

Lucinda: Later.  All right? 

Rose: You're holding out on me.  There's something -- wait a minute.  Lily.  You're telling' me the truth?  Is she okay? 

Lucinda: Lily and Holden are together, but it's not over.  Because Damien has taken Luke. 

Rose: But he's alive.  Right?  So we'll get him back, if he's alive.  I mean, we -- think about it.  A few months ago, we had a memorial service for Holden and Luke, and now, they're getting' closer to coming home.  They're alive.  That's good.  I didn't think I'd ever see any of them again.  You know? 

Lucinda: So that's what you were doing?  You were dancing the dance of despair in here? 

Rose: What's the matter with you, Ms. Walsh? 

Lucinda: I just would like -- tell me what she's doing here.  Explain it. 

Mitzi: Nice to see you again, Ms. Walsh.  You remember me, don't ya? 

Lucinda: Of course I remember you.  I remember you perfectly well, and you just have to forgive my lack of enthusiasm to see you back here in my home, today, Missy. 

Mitzi: It's Mitzi.  With a "Z."

Lucinda: Oh, well, whatever, however you want to spell it is fine with me.  But I want to know what you're doing here. 

Mitzi: Oh, nothing bad, I swear.  I was just surprising Rose for her birthday. 

Lucinda: It's Lily's birthday.  I don't like surprises!  I don't like surprises today!  You like surprises?!  I'll give you a surprise.  You get out of here!  Get out right now!  Or I'll grab you by that ponytail, and I'll --

Rose: Hey, hey, stop right there!  Hey, hey, hey!  Hold your horses!  

Lucinda: Get out of my house! 

Rose: Wait one cotton-pickin' minute! 

Lucinda: Go!  Go! 

Rose: Who died and made you queen of the world?! 

Barbara: If my company is in trouble, it's because you bled it dry. 

Craig: I gave it an I.V., Barbara.  Read the last few annual reports.  BRO was sliding long before I came on the scene. 

Barbara: Because I didn't hire Carly Tenney?  What a talent. 

Craig: As you are.  But you cannot handle the nuts and bolts of daily operation.  And Paul --

Barbara: Not one word about my son. 

Craig: Your son is too distracted and green to be running a company.  BRO needs more experienced help. 

Barbara: I think my company has had enough of your help.  You're a raider.  And you proved it by marching into my New York office and firing my staff and then stealing the company records. 

Craig: Just cutting fat, Barbara.  BRO needs money.  BRO needs money just to keep going.  And if you help me with worldwide, I will make sure you stay in business. 

Barbara: I don't need your help.  I've just designed a spring line that's gonna make the cover of every magazine on the stands! 

Craig: Yes, and how are you going to produce that line without cash?  Huh? 

Barbara: I don't need you. 

Craig: I don't care. 

Barbara: I don't need you.  I have a partner.  I have my son.  I trust my son.  So you take your damn smirk and you go somewhere else and manipulate someone else.  Because I will not be fooled by you.  Never again, Craig!  Never again! 

Paul: Are you done? 

Craig: No. 

Cass: Craig --

Craig: I have another point to make. 

Cass: I really don't advise this. 

Craig: Barbara, you say you don't want to be lied to or manipulated, is that right? 

Barbara: That's correct. 

Craig: Well, that is exactly what's going to happen if you go with the alternative.  You don't vote your shares with me, you vote with Lucinda, which is exactly what Paul and his girlfriend want.  Ask him.  Paul and Rose D'Angelo have you right where they want you.  And you didn't even see it coming. 

Katie: I hope Lily appreciates all that you've done for her. 

Simon: She's probably sending me a "thank you" note right now.  I'm sure she's thankful. 

Katie: I just mean that -- it must be an amazing feeling to have someone care about you so much that they would risk their lives for you.  I wouldn't know.  You've never taken a knife for me. 

Simon: Well, I really don't want to make a habit of it, do I? 

Katie: Guess not.  Done. 

Simon: Ow!  Thanks.  You're a regular Florence nightingale.  Only blonder. 

Katie: Well, it's all part of the whole deal, right?  The whole "sickness and health" clause?  So you're all bandaged up, all cleaned up.  And now, I guess it's time for the next part of the agenda. 

Simon: Oh.  Oh, yeah.  The talk. 

Katie: Yeah.  Things are different between you and me.  Different good.  Oh, come on, you just rhino-charged a guy for kissing me.  And only two types of guys would do that -- one -- a brother, or two -- a man in love. 

Simon: Yeah, well, I definitely don't see you as my sister, do I? 

Katie: Well, good, we're getting somewhere.  How do you see me? 

Simon: I see you in lots of ways, unfortunately, some of them are kind of off limits right now. 

Katie: Right.  'Cause you took the knife for Lily -- always, always Lily. 

Simon: Please, there is no point going there, Katie. 

Katie: Fine.  It's just that you love to protect her from everyone, including me.  And every time she whistles, you abandon me.  Yet, when I want to invite someone over to stomp on some grapes, you go all testosterone. 

Simon: That wasn't testosterone, it was surprise.  That's all.  It was just surprise. 

Katie: All right.  Well, you'll just have to get used to it then, because Bruno's has got some very hot Italian blood that he is very anxious to introduce me to.  He's pretty gorgeous, too, don't you think? 

Simon: I don't know.  He's not my type. 

Katie: And he has lots of money. 

Simon: Oh. 

Katie: Lots. 

Simon: Well, that's very exciting. 

Katie: And a Ferrari. 

Simon: Is it red? 

Katie: I don't know, but he promised to let me drive it. 

Simon: And there goes an end to that affair. 

Katie: Simon, I'm not joking.  Bruno Portolano --

Simon: Bruno port -- you're kidding?  That's his name?  Katie, this -- this Godfather wannabe, he's just a -- he's a con man. 

Katie: Oh, really? 

Simon: Yes. 

Katie: A con man? 

Simon: Yes. 

Katie: What's he conning me from?  All the money in my bank account?  My stocks and bonds?  My trove of hidden assets?  I don't have any. 

Simon: You've got plenty of assets, Katie.  And two of them are kind of not very hidden right now.  So what do you want?  Me to say that I love you, that I want you to be my wife in every way?  Or else you'll be with Bruno? 

Katie: No.  I don't have to play games like that anymore to get a guy's attention, 'cause someone actually cares about me.  And he cares about everything, not just the obvious things.  He cares about my soul. 

Simon: You're serious?  You think he poured over a bathtub full of grapes because he cares about your soul?  Katie, he wanted to watch you jump up and down in a tiny bikini is what he wanted. 

Katie: Yeah, well, you know what?  You are exactly right, because the minute I walked into the bathroom in my tiny little bikini, he couldn't get his eyes off of me.  And you know, Simon?  It felt great. 

Jack: I'm an idiot.  I never should have asked you to come back to Oakdale.  You went through hell there.  And I let it happen.  I could see why you'd want to stay away. 

Carly: I'm not staying away because I'm afraid you won't protect me, Jack.  And I know you'd love another chance at that.  It's part of your "good guy" complex. 

Jack: More like selfish guy.  Well, hey, if you need to be in Chicago, I'll make it happen.  I'll help you any way I can. 

Carly: Jack, you don't even have a job, Jack.  How are you going to help me? 

Jack: Julia didn't take my pension fund.  There's a lot of money there, Carly.  You can have it.  It's yours. 

Carly: Jack!  One minute I'm this big mistake.  And the next, I'm somebody that you'd pawn your old age for.  Jack, it doesn't make any sense. 

Jack: Carly listen, please?  I'm trying to find a new way to say I'm sorry -- for all the times I let you down -- and for listening to the buzz and not to you. 

Carly: The buzz? 

Jack: In the courtroom when Jessica Griffin showed everybody that picture of Craig kissing you.  You tried to tell me something there.  You tried to talk to me.  But I let the other voices drown you out.  I let them destroy us.  And I'm trying to make things right. 

Carly: Right?  Or back to what they were? 

Jack: I'd love to turn back the clock, Carly.  But I'm making this offer with no strings attached -- no matter what happens to us. 

Rose: I thought that Mitzi could stay for a couple of days in your guesthouse is all. 

Lucinda: Why doesn't she stay at the farm? 

Rose: 'Cause the farm's funky.  And, you know, it's -- it's a vacation.  Rest,  R & R?  How can she get that getting' up at the crack of dawn with all the chickens and the roosters --

Lucinda: Let her try it! 

Mitzi: You don't have to bother, Rose.  Okay?  The farm's fine.  Or I can get a hotel room or something. 

Lucinda: Matthew?!  Look, I just want to be alone.  I've had a hard -- look, darling, I'll just-I'll show you out. 

Rose: No, no, no, no.  You're not -- come on, come on, come on.  This is my very, very, very good friend.  And I don't want her to stay in some cheesy motel or be out at the farm shearing sheep.  I want her close.  And we have a lot of catching up to do. 

Lucinda: You want to catch up with her?  There's one sure way to catch up with her.  It's to get on the plane with her and get back to -- get back to Atlantic City where you belong!

 Mitzi: I'll call.  Um -- see you later, Ms. Walsh. 

Lucinda: Okay, all right. 

Mitzi: Um -- I hope everything turns out okay for your family. 

Lucinda: It's okay.  Yes.  It's all right. 

Rose: No.  Stop!  Stop right there!  That's it!  She's my friend.  She's a very dear friend of mine.  And you insulted her.  I know you're a big girl.  So you're going to apologize. 

Lucinda: I beg your pardon? 

Rose: Yes.  Right now, I want you to apologize and invite her as your guest into your house -- into your guesthouse. 

Lucinda: I'm not gonna do any such damn thing! 

Rose: Well, then fine.  You can pucker up and kiss me good-bye, because until you get rid of this bad attitude that you got going on -- if you don't, I'm going.  I'm outta here, for good. 

Paul: You leave Rose D'Angelo out this.  She's a friend.  He's just trying to antagonize you.  It's a game, Paul. 

Craig: Oh, Barbara, your boy takes care of himself.  And Paul likes to play games, too, don't you, Paul?  So you got Rose to come over and blackmail me into dropping my civil suit.  Huh? 

Paul: You're crazy. 

Craig: Oh, no, no, no.  What Rose did was blackmail, Paul.  Pure and simple. 

Cass: Craig, you need to end this now. 

Craig: And you know, Barbara, why Rose agreed to blackmail me?  Because her new squeeze, your trusty son, agreed to back Lucinda at the next worldwide board meeting.  Right? 

Barbara: I don't need your protection. 

Craig: Your son is selling you down the river, Barbara.  And Lucinda is the only one who'll benefit, all because your son found another rich woman to tell him what to do. 

Paul: Get out of here! 

Cass: Paul? 

Barbara: Stop it! 

Cass: Paul? 

Barbara: Stop it! 

Cass: Paul?!  Paul?! 

Paul: You come near my mother again -- come near my mother again -- Craig, come near my mother again --

Craig: I'm getting a little tired of your act. 

Paul: Come near my mother again, and I will -- I will kill you, Craig.  I will kill you! 

Cass: Paul! 

Craig: You ought to be careful, Paul.  Sometimes even empty threats come back to bite you. 

Paul: Get off me!  You mess with my mother one more time, and I'm coming after you, Craig. 

Cass: Hey, if you want us all -- including your mother -- to spend the rest of the day in a holding tank, just keep this up!  We're in judge's chambers, not some pool hall.  Someone is bound to call security.  We should have been out of here ten minutes ago. 

Barbara: So go Paul. 

Paul: No.  No, I'm not going anywhere until I settle this. 

Barbara: Let's go!  I wanna go home! 

Craig: Barbara -- you need me, Barbara.  And I need you here.  We can bring Lucinda down together.  I'm not the enemy, Barbara.  I never was. 

Paul: Don't listen to him.  Do not listen to him.  We'll both live to regret this.  Come on, let's get out of here. 

Craig: Oh, he messed up my tie. 

Cass: You always push, Craig!  You push, and you push, and then you're surprised when somebody pushes back.  Why didn't you just accept this deal?  Then this whole business would be over. 

Craig: 'Cause I had to know exactly where I stand, Cass.  Right now, I know exactly where that is. 

Rose: I work so hard for you, you know?  I've been dedicated and loyal, and I've worked my tushie off for you.  And I give you something big, something really important.  I give you respect.  And you don't do that for me.  You know?  You tell me, like, "take the ball,  Rose, and balance it on your nose.”  "What color?”  I can't do that anymore.  I'm done.  I told you that. 

Lucinda: Okay!  Fine, be done.  Be done.  Go back.  Go back and dance in Atlantic City.  I don't know.  I don't know what you're gonna do when gravity gets a hold of you and all that's down there.  I don't know. 

Mitzi: Hey, we're still in great shape! 

Lucinda: Well, what are you going to do later, Rose?  What are you gonna do afterward when you can't dance anymore and you don't want to?  What are you gonna do when you don't have any money in the bank?  What are you gonna do?  I've had it.  I've had it. 

Rose: You don't scare me, Ms. Walsh.  I'm not goin' back to that stage.  No way.  But that stage is a part of my past.  And I am proud of it.  I am.  But the person I'm most proud of is Mitzi!  My friend.  I mean, she's great.  And she's wonderful, and she's got a heart of gold.  And she does not deserve to be thrown out of anybody's house. 

Lucinda: Honey, you know the way out. 

Rose: I do.  Come on, Mitzi.  You know, I wonder what Mary Ellen Walters would say if I insulted her friends?  Huh.  I think I would've liked her better.  Before she became Ms. Lucinda Walsh. 

Lucinda: Hey!  Wait.  I got something to say. 

Rose: No, I think you've said enough --

Lucinda: No, I have nothing to say to you!  Nothing!  I have something to say to Mitzi.  I'm sorry, darling.  I really am.  I've had a very stressful, difficult few days, and I have been extremely rude.  And I'm sorry.  I apologize. 

Mitzi: Don't sweat it.  Okay?  Look, we all lose it sometimes.  I once threw a cheating' boyfriend off a balcony in Vegas.  [Laughing] What can I say?  PMS is a killer! 

Lucinda: I wish I'd been there to see it.  I really do.  But, look, I'm making a point.  I'm making a point that you are Rose's friend, and naturally you can stay in my guest -- it's vacant.  You just stay in there -- as long as you want it.  Huh?  Huh?  Are we all satisfied now? 

Rose: Satisfied. 

Carly: That's a very generous offer, jack, but I can't accept that.  With or without strings, I cannot touch your pension fund. 

Jack: Please, Carly.  [Jack exhales]  I'm awake every night, racking my brain, trying to sort it out. 

Jack: That'd be nice.  I don't know.  Maybe it was the stress from the divorce, but these last few months, I've felt like I haven't been able to think straight.  And now I've got no wife, a forced vacation -- nothing but time. 

Carly: And now you can think straight, right?  And now you believe me, what I said about Craig and that kiss that I never want to talk about again for as long as I live. 

Jack: Yes. 

Carly: You don't get it, do you?  Offering up your pension fund to finance my dream is generous.  It's everything you are.  But it doesn't fix what's wrong. 

Jack: What is wrong, Carly?  Can we ever find the word for it?  I mean, how does something as good as us wind up like this? 

Carly: We wind up like this because you need to be able to think straight in order to figure out if I'm telling the truth or not, Jack, when you should just know it! 

Jack: Wait, we can figure this out! 

Carly: Okay, fine.  So I go back to Oakdale, but Craig's still there.  He's still convinced that he's in love with me.  And you -- you will try.  You will try so hard to not let it bother you, but it will.  And we will end up right where we were the other night.  And I cannot deal with that, Jack.  You should go.  Please. 

Jack: Wait, there's something I hadn't told you about Montgomery. 

Carly: Craig? 

Jack: When I found out that you had moved, I immediately went over to the Lakeview to rip his head off. 

Carly: Why?  What does my moving have to do with Craig? 

Jack: I was afraid that you had gone to live with him!  I was out of my mind, Carly.  It finally hit me that the best woman, the only woman that I’ve ever loved, was about to walk out of my life.  I had to do something.  I had to fight for you. 

Carly: So you went to Craig. 

Jack: Hey, look, I'm not proud of it.  But I had to find out about that kiss.  He said it was all him.  You never led him on.  You barely gave him the time of day, and you pushed him away.  He said that you loved me. 

Carly: I said that, Jack!  I've said it a hundred times, and you couldn't listen to me.  How come?  How come the supposed love of your life tells you the truth, and you don't believe her?  And then, when a sleaze ball like Craig weighs in, suddenly you're all ears?

Lucinda: Miss Mitzi is going to be staying in the guesthouse for awhile.  I'd like you to show her her quarters and make her feel comfortable. 

Matthew: Yes, madam.  Follow me, please. 

Mitzi: The butler!  The guy with the pantry. 

Matthew: This way, miss. 

Lucinda: So what have you been doing when I was away?  Eating spinach three times a day? 

Rose: As Popeye always said, "I yam what I yam." I just forgot who that was for awhile. 

Lucinda: Oh, darling, I hope that doesn't mean you're going to endlessly remind us of your chorus line background, you know?  Maybe you should send a flyer to Paul Ryan.  I mean maybe he'd like to know the whole resume.  I don't know. 

Rose: Paul Ryan, huh?  No, I've already been down that road.  He knows that I'm an ex-showgirl, and he thinks it's great. 

Lucinda: Okay.  Um -- I have a question.  If I hadn't softened my approach to Mitzi, would you have really left for good? 

Rose: Nah.  Bluffing.  Where am I gonna go?  [Lucinda laughs]

Lucinda: You're amazing.  Hmm?  Amazing. 

Matthew: Sorry to disturb you again, madam.  Miss Mitzi and I ran into Mr. Ryan on our way to the guesthouse.  

Lucinda: Thank you, Matthew.  Thank you.  Hello. 

Rose: You got great timing!  Ms. Walsh just came back from Malta.  She wanted to know how the arbitration meeting went.  So how'd it go? 

Paul: Well, I threw the first punch. 

Rose: You hit the Craigness? 

Paul: Well, it wasn't a knockout, but I probably won on points. 

Rose: Oh.  Well, I knew I liked you.  I just knew I'd like you more and more every single day, every day. 

Paul: Craig has to give half the shares back to Barbara. 

Lucinda: Half?  Half?.  Well, I would have loved to have seen his face when he had to give up half.  You did a good job.  Did a good job, Paul. 

Paul: Don't pop the champagne yet, Lucinda.  There may be a problem.

Katie: I can't find Bruno's number.  I wonder if he left it in the bathroom.  I don't wanna lose it. 

Simon: I know what you're trying to do, Katie. 

Katie: Oh!  Yes, here it is.  Oh, I wonder if the salon downstairs could take me with such short notice.  I think I wanna wear my hair up tonight.  He has a plane, so maybe we can go to dinner in Chicago --

Simon: Oh, you're trying to do the same thing with this Bruno drip that you did with that drunk guy you dragged home from (?).  And, look, it didn't make me jealous then, and it's not gonna make me jealous now. 

Katie: I'm not trying to make you anything, Simon. 

Simon: Okay, then what are you trying to do?  What, you meet this Bruno guy and you fall in love with him?  Is that it? 

Katie: Could be.  Eventually.  If that's the way it goes.  If that's the way I want it to go.  It's kind of nice to have someone interested in me for once.  To have someone that's not telling me what I do wrong all the time, and someone who's not taking off all the time, and someone who -- why do you even care?

Craig: We're in good shape, Cass.  We've got all the chips on our side with the table -- Simon!  Welcome back.  You just get in? 

Simon: So how ya been, Craig?

Craig: Forget about me.  What about you?  You cut yourself shaving? 

Simon: Yeah. 

Katie: Oh, please.  Craig, if you're done with your little comedy routine, do you think you could -- we were having a private conversation. 

Craig: Oh, I'm sorry.  I thought I was in my house.  Oh, wait.  Here's an idea.  You have your own apartment on the other side.  Why don't you use your own entrance there for your conversations?  Might be private. 

Katie: Okay, fine.  Let's get out of here. 

Craig: Oh, oh, wait!  Wait, Simon.  Simon. 

Simon: Ha, ha, ha.  What is it? 

Craig: A check, man!  What do you think?  It's made out for $25,000.  Consider it the first installment of what I owe you.  And I will continue to send them, wherever you are, until my debt is paid. 

Simon: What do you mean, wherever I am? 

Craig: You're free, Simon.  You can leave Oakdale.  Isn't that what you want?  Well, the kids are asleep. 

Katie: That's it, isn't it?  The getaway car.  The golden parachute you've been waiting for. 

Simon: I'm really not in a fit state to travel right now, am I?  I've got -- I've got a lot to figure out. 

Katie: Yeah.  Fine.  Well, I'm gonna be in the salon downstairs.  And then I'm probably gonna go to Bruno's.  Ciao. 

Simon: Katie, please wait.  Just --

Katie: Oh, Craig.  There's about 60 pounds of grapes in your bathroom.  So you might want to call housekeeping. 

Craig: 60 pounds of grapes in the bathtub.  Call housekeeping.  Got it. 

Katie: Yep.  Great.  Well, bye all. 

Simon: Katie, please, can we just --

Craig: Trouble in paradise? 

Simon: Paradise.  Now, that'd be nice. 

Craig: I gotta get my own place. 

Cass: Craig!  I charge by the minute.  Don't you understand?  Let's talk about Barbara, not about your rather odd living arrangements. 

Craig: Barbara's smart enough.  She'll bite the bullet if she wants a thriving business, which she does.  When she realizes it's a lot more profitable to side with me than Lucinda.  Because, you know, deep down, she's -- [Craig inhales] -- practical. 

Cass: But she's also very angry.  And right now, quite vindictive.  What if she hands over her worldwide shares to Lucinda just to spite you? 

Craig: Then we play hardball, Cass, I know what to do.  The key to bringing Lucinda Walsh down is to make sure BRO fails. 

Lucinda: What's the problem, Paul? 

Paul: Well, after the meeting, Montgomery wanted to speak to Barbara alone.  And for some reason -- I still haven't figured out why -- she decided it was okay.  He laid out a plan for her.  They join forces and vote you out of Worldwide. 

Rose: You know, I don't understand this.  I don't believe this guy.  He ruins her life, and now he wants her to side with him? 

Lucinda: But Barbara has got too much sense for that.  I mean, she wouldn't fall for that.  She would -- she would dismiss his proposition. 

Paul: But what you have to remember, Lucinda, is how good Craig is at getting what he wants.  But she turned him down flat, so then he got nasty. 

Rose: Did it work? 

Paul: I don't know. 

Rose: What do you mean, you don't know?  What are you talkin' about? 

Lucinda: Barbara couldn't possibly side with him.  He humiliated her.  He took her money.  She couldn't -- wouldn't.  Would she? 

Paul: Well, she wouldn't say.  When I dropped her off, she wouldn't talk about business anymore today.  She was hurt. 

Lucinda: What did he threaten her with? 

Paul: The one thing she has left -- her trust in me.  So thanks to Craig, my mother's now wondering whether or not I'm working to protect her interests or yours. 

Lucinda: If Barbara votes with Craig, we're all ruined! 

[Grunting, sobbing, breathing heavily]

Jack: No, no.  Don't make it sound as if I believe Craig and not you.  That's not how it was. 

Carly: Then how was it, Jack? 

Jack: It wasn't even about believing, okay?  It was about listening.  I was too angry and too jealous to hear you.  But Craig -- he kind of got in my face and made me listen whether I wanted to or not.  I don't know.  Maybe it's a guy thing. 

Carly: Well, I am never gonna be a guy.  So if that's what it takes to get through to you, then I should just go it alone.  Thank you for coming, though.  I mean it. 

Jack: Yeah, right.  Thanks but no thanks. 

Carly: I won't forget your offer, Jack.  I know that it came from your heart.  I just -- I have to learn to help myself.  And you -- you need to go home and think about your own life. 

Jack: Right, listen.  About the money -- if you ever need it, just call.  The offer stands.  Forever. 

Carly: Good-bye, G-man.  Damn it, Craig!  When is it gonna stop?  When are you gonna stop messing with my life?

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