As The World Turns Transcript Thursday 7/5/01
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Provided By Stephanie
Proofread by Gisele
Katie: Simon, where are you?
Katie: You're in my dream.
Simon: No, I'm on your damn beach. If you do anything like this again, I'm gonna leave you here. [Katie drops a coconut on Simon's foot] Ow!
Ow, ow --
Katie: Oh, Simon, I'm sorry -- I'm so, so sorry.
Simon: Don't -- don't touch me!
Katie: Is your foot okay?
Simon: Yes, it's fine. Leave me alone! Ow!
Katie: You found me.
Simon: Yes, yes, I found you. What do you think I'm going to do, just leave you here? Wake up!
Jack: Can't find record of payment. Past due, past due. Past due, past due. Carly: You're up early. Sorry. [Carly goes into the kitchen and brings out an empty coffee pot] Hey? Did you drink all this?
Jack: Yeah. Sorry.
Carly: No, no, that's -- it's okay. I can always make more. Of course, you might not sleep for a week. Hey -- it's going to be okay, Jack. We can always use the Carly Tenney system.
Jack: Rob a bank?
Carly: No, that's Plan B. Plan A, you just throw all the bills up in the air, and whatever stays up there -- well, that deserves to get paid.
Jack: With what? I gave her everything. I gave her everything. Let her have it, you know? I mean, she's a miserable human being. She can have the house, the land, the cars, the bank accounts, everything. It's fine.
Carly: I don't even know why she would want your money given her family.
Jack: Yeah, well, her family is the problem. Julia might've had a chance if they'd paid attention to her when she was growing up. And now, she's sitting in the Psych ward, and have they visited her? Her mother stopped by with shrinks and lawyers. But would she go by herself, just to see how her own child is doing? No way. Better to blame me than to look at what they've done to her.
Carly: Jack, you have done everything you could.
Jack: Yeah, well, she's not my responsibility anymore, Carly. But you are -- you and Parker. And just when Julia's family has given it to me, take a look at that.
[Jack shows Carly a bill]
Carly: Is this is from Cass?
Jack: For one month.
Carly: How much does he charge for an hour?
Jack: More than I make in a week. I'm exaggerating, it's not that bad --
it's not that bad. Look, I'll pay. I'm grateful. It's just -- there's nothing left.
At least we have love, right? 'Cause we don't have much else.
Hal: Mmm. Come on.
Emily: Fries for breakfast? Mmm. Remind me to introduce your dad to an orange.
Hal: Fries and a vegetable, ketchup is a vegetable, and we get 'em wherever we can, right? Just don't tattle to his mom, okay?
Emily: Oh, yeah, like I'm gonna go call Carly Tenney anytime soon.
Hal: I wouldn't put it past you.
Emily: Okay, you know what? I have our list -- Oakdale residents with any association to special forces -- and I also contacted the V.A. of Oakdale.
They're gonna work on their database.
Hal: The VA? Boy, you're going to some lengths to prove Craig Montgomery innocent.
Emily: No, I just want the story. And since no other paper in town will consider the possibility that Craig didn't do it, it gives me a certain advantage, which means I'll stand out on the rack, which means I'll sell more papers than the next guy. And that is what I care about.
Hal: Right, and what if you're wrong?
Emily: I've been wrong before.
Hal: Right, and what do you care, anyway? It's not like you've got a Pulitzer to defend.
Emily: Well, that was friendly. Who bit you this morning?
Margo: No, no, no. They told me that the gate had been changed, but it's 545 from New York. It's B11. I got it. I'm right here.
Thank you. Margo: Craig?
Margo: You were in New York?
Craig: Yeah, I had business at B.R.O. It was unavoidable.
Margo: You know, Craig, the terms of your bail stipulate that you are not to leave the vicinity.
Craig: Do I look like I've jumped bail, hmm?
Margo: It's the law, not your law. It's the law, and I'm supposed to enforce that law.
Craig: So you're going to arrest me?
Margo: I could.
Craig: Okay, look. Barbara's in a coma. Her son Paul is off trekking in Nepal somewhere, and Lucinda Walsh was staging a coup at B.R.O. So what am I supposed to do, lie back and watch Barbara lose everything?
Margo: The way I understand it, you're the one who's trying to raid B.R.O.
Craig: Is that an accusation or just plain ad hoc nastiness?
Margo: Goes to motive. The theory is that you married Barbara for her money, she caught onto you, and you tried to kill her.
Craig: The theory is wrong. I'm saving her company -- why? So I can risk my reputation, my liberty?
Margo: So you can drain B.R.O. Of its funds. Craig -- Craig, your footprint was found at the boathouse. You were there, Craig. You got means. You got motive. You've got opportunity.
Craig: Okay, fine. Arrest me then.
Margo: I would if I weren't your sister, but I am your sister, and you've been taking advantage of that fact for weeks.
Craig: Am I making your job harder, Margo?
Margo: You're making my life harder, Craig. I'm trying to help you.
Margo: You won't help me. You're hurting people, Craig. Most of all, you're hurting yourself, but I'm gonna put a stop to that, and you're gonna help me.
Margo: Craig, you've been here before.
Craig: The airport?
Margo: Stop it. Don't you remember the last time you dug yourself into a hole so deep you couldn't get out? It cost you five years of your life.
Craig: I learned from that mistake.
Margo: Oh, so this time you planned it better?
Craig: What are we doing here, Margo? You obviously think I'm guilty.
You have grounds to arrest me. Why don't you just do it or get out of my way?
Margo: Craig, as it stands right now, you're going to be convicted. If Barbara dies, that means --
Craig: Barbara is not going to die.
Margo: When's the last time you went to visit her in the hospital?
Craig: They have my number. I will be there when she wakes up and tells you your brother didn't do it. Hmm?
Margo: Do you know how much I want to believe that?
Craig: Then believe it.
Margo: Like I believed you when you said you weren't at the scene?
What are -- what are you doing?
Craig: Are you wearing a wire?
Craig: It's a little odd, this little ambush at the airport, huh? You laying out the case, looking for some kind of emotional purge.
Margo: What are you thinking, that I would try to entrap you?
Craig: I don't know.
Margo: If I wanted that, I would send a uniform. I told you I wanted to talk to you.
Craig: I see. So you come here, you lay out the case, remind me of all those special times we had together.
Margo: Damn it, Craig, I love you.
Margo: For the life of me, I don't know why.
Craig: It's honest.
Margo: Do you remember, Craig, when you blew up that truck? It was lie after lie after lie. Don't you remember that?
Craig: You're worried about me.
Margo: Oh, yeah, Craig. I'm worried about you.
Craig: What can I do to make you feel better?
Margo: Just tell me what happened.
Craig: No, no. No, you want me to confess. There's a little matter of the fifth amendment.
Margo: Craig, what do I have to do, get stuck in a burning building to get you to tell me the truth?
Craig: What, you want to arrest me so fast? What are you trying to do, save the taxpayers the expense of a trial, lock me up now? What's the rush? Margo: Don't you understand how much I want to believe that you didn't do this? But you are not helping me, Craig. Please, just come out to the boathouse with me. Walk me through it. Convince me.
Jack: Look, the house, the money -- that doesn't mean a thing to me. If that's what it costs to get out of my marriage, fine, but -- it'll be okay. It will.
Carly: Why don't you just say it? It stinks. Look how long it took you to put your life together. Now, all of it is gone because of me.
Carly: I know what it's like, Jack, to not be able to pay your bills, to wake up in the middle of the night and to not be able to go back to sleep because you've got lists that won't go away and numbers that won't add up.
Jack: I got a job.
I know. You have a good job, Jack, but that doesn't change the fact that you used to be on the ten yard line, and now, you're back on the 50th.
Jack: Sports metaphors? This is getting serious.
Carly: I just want you to be able to talk to me, to tell me how you feel, because if you start protecting me, if you stop talking to me --
Jack: About what?!
Carly: This is my fault, and we both know it. It's true, Jack. You heard John at the hospital, and he's right.
Jack: Oh, come on!
Carly: I destroy everything. No, I didn't mean to do it.
Jack: Just stop it!
Carly: Will you look at what you've lost?
Jack: I'd lose it all ten times over if it meant we could be together. Carly, I made my choices. I chose you. I want you. The only thing that bothers me is that now I have nothing to offer you.
Carly: Are you kidding me?
Jack: You think I don't know what you want? A woman who can take a piece of fabric and make it into something that opens every eye in the room?
You're very talented, Carly, and you're so incredibly creative. I want you to have that house I promised you. I want to see you design it and watch it come alive. I want to marry you in a church in front of all of our friends and you in a dress that makes the front page.
Carly: No. No more front pages.
Jack: I want you to sleep at night and not wake up wondering how we're gonna pay our bills. I want to make things better, not worse.
Carly: You've already made things better, Jack.
[Carly picks up the candle]
Jack: Can we please throw this damn thing away?
Carly: No, because whenever I start to feel frustrated or sorry for myself, I take this candle out, and I think about that night that I waited for you.
You're here now, Jack, and that is all that matters.
Hal: Yeah, I am a grump. I'm sorry, Emily. It's just that this case has got me so stymied. I mean, I'm sure it's Montgomery, but then I get these -- I get these doubts, these inconsistencies in this case, and I -- just the idea of seeing Montgomery behind bars until my children are grown --
Emily: Now, see, that is your problem. This is your problem. You want him to be guilty.
Hal: Oh, he is guilty of more crimes than you and I can count. I'm just not sure if he's guilty of this.
Emily: Well, will you please figure it out, because I'm sick and tired of holding my front page.
Hal: Hey, don't hang this on me. I'm not on the case. I'm not a cop, remember?
Emily: What, so you me to depend on Margo? She's so guilt-ridden she can't even say her own brother's name. All I get from her is "the suspect" or "Sorry, the alleged suspect."
Hal: Go to Jack?
Emily: Jack? Jack's got his head buried so deep in you-know-who's you- know-what --
Hal: So the boy is in love.
Emily: The boy's brain is dead, so that leaves you, Oakdale's favorite criminologist. So what's it gonna be? Did he do it, huh? Did he torch Barbara for the big B.R.O. payoff?
Hal: If he didn't, who else did? The thing is, Emily, who would want to hurt Barbara? Come on, I'm serious. I'm serious.
Emily: Come on! You're blind is what you are, and as sweet as it is --
this thing you have for Barbara -- it leaves you brain dead, just like Jack Snyder.
Hal: I'm perfectly objective when it comes to Barbara.
Emily: Really? Really? How many times have you married that woman?
Hal: Three times, and I don't regret any of them.
Emily: All I'm saying is she's not perfect, okay? That's all I'm saying, and there is a possibility that somebody out there -- maybe somebody from her business world, her social world somebody -- who finds the condescending thing to be a real drag, and Barbara has it down to a science.
Hal: All right. So you hate her, and I love her.
Emily: No, I don't hate her. I don't hate her. I just -- I think that it's possible that there's somebody out there other than Craig with a motive.
Hal: Point taken, granted.
Emily: I mean look at me, really. I have enemies everywhere I look.
Hal: And you've earned every single one of them.
Emily: Yeah, but there's something about me, Hal, hmm? Or you and I wouldn't be working together, would we?
Henry: We'll have the guava first and then the papaya.
Cooley: Yeah, you've got a great future as a fruit. Hand me a coconut.
Henry: Not on your life, island boy.
Cooley: Are you nuts? "A," he's kissing her. "B," she wouldn't kiss you or me. "C," he's a nasty son of a -- he burned down my hut and threw me off a cliff. Now, if we clock him now while she's sucking the life out of him, I got a chance. Otherwise, it's two against two, and he's got the plane!
Henry: Yeah, which is exactly why he's safe from me.
Cooley: Oh, well, get out of my way, you coward!
Cooley: Oh, oh, oh, oh!
: I knew it.
Simon: Um -- get your stuff. We're going home.
Katie: You kissed me back.
Simon: Me, kiss you? What?! You're hallucinating. You're crazy.
Katie: No. Huh-uh. My lips have memory.
Simon: Look, Katie, I wouldn't kiss you if you were stranded here for six years.
Henry: Well, you'd be surprised what you'd kiss if you were stranded here.
Simon: Oh, really?
Katie: Tell him. Tell him, Henry. Tell him you saw him kiss me.
Henry: Yeah, I'd swear to anything today. Simon, it has been bleak. I mean, wow! No vodka, no gin, and nothing but kumquats and Katie -- who, truth be told, never gave up hope. I mean, she said that you would come --
Katie: -- And kiss me.
Henry: But not that I doubted our Katie here, but the idea of you just dropping everything and flying out here to rescue us --
Katie: -- And kiss me.
Henry: Well it was far-fetched, but here you are! You're the man! Here you are, rescuing us --
Katie: -- And kissing me.
Henry: Too much sun.
Simon: Yeah, right, right, and whose fault is that, Henry?
Henry: Well, listen, I packed sun block, but our friend Cooley seems to have eaten it.
Simon: You put my wife into danger.
Henry: No, no, no, no, no, no. Your wife was the least person in danger.
In fact, in fact, I think she would have eaten us -- not eaten us, but if you hadn't shown up, maybe boiled us, made dinner out of us or something. Tell him about the fire ants, Katie.
Simon: You took advantage of her, didn't you? You took advantage of her, yeah?
Henry: No, no, no, no, no. She was the one who came up with all this.
Simon: You cooked up this entire scheme!
Henry: It was her idea!
Simon: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't wring your neck!
Henry: Katie, give him a reason, all right, will you -- now?
Katie: "Wife." He said "wife."
Henry: Hey, hey, far be it from me to come between a girl and her dream or a man and his wife.
Simon: No, no, no, no. I know what it costs to rent a plane, Henry, and Katie doesn't have that, so this is your operation from the start.
Henry: No! Au contraire, mon ami. Your little Katie is quite the manager. She squirreled away a small fortune working at WOAK. Tell him, Katie.
Katie: Well, I told you I was good with money. You just never listened.
Henry: 30 grand, I kid you not.
Simon: Look, being good with money doesn't mean she has to give it to the first leech that comes along, does she?
Henry: Scout's honor, I did not touch a penny. She got the gear. She rented the plane.
Simon: She can't fly a plane.
Henry: All right, yes, the flying part was me, but that's only because she begged me to do it.
Simon: What, and you listened to her?!
Henry: You try stopping a Peretti in full battle mode! What am I saying?
You can't. You're here, aren't you?
Katie: He's right. It's all your fault.
Simon: What?! My fault?!
Katie: Yes, because you're you, and I love you, and I know you wouldn't love me unless I found the diamond, so that involved getting the plane and convincing Henry, and so here we are. But it's all okay, because you kissed me back. And the best part is I found the diamond. So all is well that ends well, right?
Craig: You want me to go to the boathouse with you?
Margo: Craig, we already know that you were there. Just go to the boathouse with me, walk me through it, show me what happened. Show me why you're not guilty. Oh, Craig, somebody tried to kill your wife. Now, if it wasn't you, whoever it was is still at large.
Craig: All right, on one condition.
Margo: No guarantees.
Craig: I'm doing this for my sister, detective, because obviously she still cares about me.
Margo: Obviously, Craig, she still does.
Craig: Okay, fine. I have a ton of luggage showing up at the Lakeview I have to sign for, so I'll meet you there in about an hour?
Margo: You will be there?
Craig: You know, my attorney will be there, too.
Margo: That's fine. Whatever you need.
Craig: No, this is for you, Margo, not for me.
Margo: Craig, I'm doing whatever I can to help you.
Craig: Just take care of my sister, will you, because when she realizes what you've done --
Hal: I ain't working with you, Emily. I ain't working, period, remember?
Emily: Fine. Then give me my list back.
Hal: What do you say, Parker? Should we help the pretty lady out?
Emily: You know, don't even go there, don't even try, because I know you. The only thing you want from me is my front page. Okay, maybe my database.
Hal: Well, it certainly ain't your charming company.
Emily: Charming comp -- I could compliment you. I could. Your daddy -- your daddy, he doesn't want it. He would rather a fry in the eye than a compliment any day.
Hal: Well, I'm not gonna wait for a compliment from you, since you're constitutionally capable of complimenting anybody, Emily.
Emily: Oh, I could. I could compliment you if I thought long and hard, but weren't we talking about me and how I earned all my enemies?
Hal: You have. You have no ethics, your goals are shallow, you run over anybody to get a headline -- people get mad, they get hurt, and hurt plus mad equals enemies. Simple mathematics.
Emily: That's fair. Not very nice, but fair.
Hal: But you're also honest, and you're direct, and you say what's on your mind. Some people like that -- me. Do you know who you remind me of?
Hal: Lucinda Walsh.
Emily: Okay, buddy, that's low.
Hal: I like Lucinda.
Emily: Yeah, I don't.
Hal: I'm sure she feels the same way about you. Come on, Parker, give the pretty lady a fry. Cheer her up.
Emily: Oh, you know what? Are you gonna be just like your father when you grow up? Are you gonna tease every woman you know?
Hal: I would have thought the editor of "The Intruder" would have had a thicker skin.
Emily: Oh, she does. She does, but take a look, okay? Take a look at this skin. Armadillos don't come better protected. Come on, have a feel.
Hal: What is the pretty armadillo protecting, her soft, feminine heart?
Jack: I want you to know it's gonna be fine, 'cause I'm gonna take care of it.
Carly: It already is fine. We have an apartment. We have a truly fine coffee pot.
Jack: This is your apartment.
Carly: No, it isn't. It's Molly's apartment, and we are welcome to stay here until we decide to go someplace else. And we don't have to worry about a wedding until your divorce comes through, so we can't even think about that now.
Jack: You're gonna have everything you deserve.
Carly: I know, and there's no hurry.
Jack: Not this one! Cass Winthrop.
Carly: Cass, of all people, should understand.
Jack: I have to pay him.
Carly: Yeah, I know. You can work it out with him. You can pay him a little at a time.
Jack: Maybe. Who knows? I should go.
Carly: Promise me you won't worry, Jack? [Jack laughs] Jack?
Jack: I'll call you.
Carly: It's gonna be okay.
Jack: Lock the doors for me.
Jack: 'Cause you and I both know that Craig's probably in the bushes, waiting for me to leave.
Carly: No, I don't think so. I think he's learned his lesson.
Jack: No, I don't think so.
Carly: Jack will forgive me. He has to.
Craig: Thank you, gentleman.
Bellman: Will that be all, sir?
Craig: Yes. Thank you. Carly. Would you give these gentlemen the 10 bucks you owe me?
Carly: The 10 bucks I owe you? Hmm. So, what's the problem?
Barbara's purse empty?
Craig: That's tasteless, even for you.
Carly: Sorry. I don't want to fight.
Craig: Good, because as you can see, I have a lot of work to do.
Carly: Oh, hey, B.R.O. What, are you running the company now?
Craig: In my wife's absence, yes. I'm also wanted for questioning by my sister, the cop. And I have a meeting with my attorney. So you, me, another three rounds, might have to wait.
Carly: Well, I thought -- I thought we'd could start over. Friends can disagree, you know?
Craig: "Friends"? Well -- what was I thinking? Shall we roast marshmallows and talk about Jack?
Carly: I thought we could talk about your offer.
Craig: Which one? This is nice. One of yours?
Carly: Do you like it?
Craig: That depends. How much is it going to cost me?
Carly: I want the job you offered me. I want to design for B.R.O.
Emily: Okay, so what do you say, Parker, turnabout fair play? Should I tell your daddy what I think of him, since he was oh so honest with me?
Hal: Ha, ha, ha. Give it your best shot, go ahead.
Emily: Yeah, he can take it. He can take it. Right, Parker? Sure, 'cause he's a grouchy, stubborn, hot-headed --
Hal: I'm flattered so far, go ahead.
Emily: -- Unemployed --
Hal: Hey, I'm proud of that. I resigned that job for noble reasons.
Emily: Oh, please, you were about to be fired, and you know it. But despite all his glaring faults, I like him, 'cause he's a good guy.
Hal: Thank you.
Emily: He's also loyal. Some may say to a fault. And protective, especially if he loves you. And he even finds the occasional little lost girl in a well.
Hal: Boy, you're making me sound like a regular Lassie.
Emily: Oh, yeah, Parker, somebody better tell your father that Lassie was a girl.
Hal: You're kidding?
Emily: Okay, he was also married 47 times.
Hal: Oh, what about you? You've been engaged 110 times.
Emily: Yeah, well, engaged and marriage are two completely different things. And I don't plan on doing either of them ever again. So --
Hal: I'll drink to that.
Emily: You know that's why we get along.
Hal: Why? Because we're jaded?
Emily: No, because -- we don't care. You know? That's why we can just be friends. Can you imagine if we'd met 15 years ago?
Hal: We did meet 15 years ago.
Emily: No, no, no, I mean -- met, met. You know what I mean?
Hal: Oh, when I was young and dashing?
Emily: And I was a mere babe. Could you imagine if we'd met then?
We would've killed each other.
Hal: We would of killed each other.
Simon: Wait, wait. What do you mean, "found my diamond"? That's impossible.
Katie: Not for me. I just put on my scuba gear. I swam out to that reef. I dove down. And it was there, in the middle of all this seaweed.
Cooley: And that's the God's honest truth. Ah -- she's a wonder, your wife. And if you ever raise a hand to her, you'll answer to me.
Katie: Oh, no, no. Simon would never do that. I mean, sometimes he gets a little frustrated and angry, but then he just slams out of the house.
Cooley: Well then, he's a fool. If you were my woman --
Henry: What?! I don't think we need to entertain Katie's husband with such a remote possibility.
Cooley: Anything you say, mango mama.
Henry: Ha, ha, ha, ha. It's true, Simon. Katie found the diamond.
Simon: Well, that's great! Fine, that is fantastic news. Just show me!
Katie: Well, I would. No, I will, as soon as we find the bird.
Cooley: And we will find the bird. I mean, it's got to come down one of these days.
Henry: Don't they spawn or something?
Katie: Ah, that's salmon.
Cooley: No, mate.
Katie: That's Simon.
Henry: Sorry. Just a little wrinkle, Simon, nothing to fret about.
Katie: See, I was showing the boys the diamond.
Cooley: It's gorgeous.
Henry: Yeah, and this bird swoops down --
Katie: It swooped down.
Cooley: And just made off with it.
Katie: So as soon as we find the bird, we'll show you the diamond.
Simon: Just wait, wait -- so you swam out into those currents which drowned probably -- probably the strongest women I know, and then you --
you -- what? You dove down into some razor sharp reef? And then, you found a diamond that had been lost there for one year? And then, a bird swoops in -- and flies away?
Cooley: That's it.
Henry: In a nutshell.
Simon: That is the craziest story I ever heard!
Henry: Well, unfortunately, it's true.
Simon: Right. Fine. You're a little bit -- whatever. Katie, get your stuff, honey. We're going home.
Katie: Not without the diamond we're not.
Simon: We are leaving! Okay?
Katie: Huh-uh. No diamond, no Katie.
Cooley: You want her to go home with you? Just tell her you love her, diamond or no diamond.
Katie: No, no, no, that's not fair. Simon has dedicated his entire life to wooing rich women. I was a rich woman for five seconds and I will be again. I will find your diamond, I promise.
Simon: I don't need -- Katie, I'm outta here. Now, if you're coming with me, it's now or never.
Katie: No, I am not giving up on your dream, no matter what you say.
Henry: Whoa, whoa, whoa -- wait, wait, wait a second there. Where you going? Listen, I can live without diamonds. But vodka's another story. So, if you're casting off --
Katie: What kind of con man are you that you wouldn't take a chance on a sure thing?
Simon: What, what -- a bird with a diamond in its beak.
Katie: Me! I am a sure thing! Tell me, okay, think about it -- how many women do you know who would get a plane, crash it, come to this island, dive in the middle of the ocean and find a diamond for you? I'm amazing.
Would you bet on me?
Cooley: In a heartbeat, darling.
Katie: And you?
Henry: Yeah, unfortunately, I find you impossible to resist.
Katie: See? So, you're outvoted. So, what we need to do is make some kind of a weapon and then we'll find my bird.
Simon: What -- your, your bird? There has to be at least 10,000 on this island.
Katie: Well, this one has a ring around his beak and very sharp eyes.
Simon: Well, that narrows it down.
Katie: Hey, what is the big deal? Why not take a chance, you're already here. I got it out of the water. All we need to do is find it in the air.
Simon: Well, you can -- you can look for one last time as we're flying away.
Katie: Fine. Go home if you want. But I'm gonna stay here and I'm gonna find your diamond. And then, I'm gonna swim home and give it to you.
Henry: Katie, Katie, I think now is the time to reconsider.
Katie: Not a chance.
Henry: Simon! Hey, you know your wife, she is stubborn. Listen, I tell you what. Why don't we just take off for the mainland? There's this cute little bar right on the outer banks. And then we'll let her get her hands dirty here and come back and pick her up around 0800 hours --
Simon: Listen, mate! You are not going anywhere.
Emily: Okay, you're gonna do this? You promise you're gonna do your best to keep an open mind about this whole investigation?
Hal: I'm sittin' here with you. How much more open-minded could I get?
Emily: Okay, just read the list. Okay? I'm gonna contact the D.A. And you, little man, do me a favor -- remind your daddy that ketchup isn't a vegetable, no matter what the U.S. Government says.
Hal: Yeah, well, I don't care what she says. She's still a pretty lady, don't you think?
Craig: So you got all dolled up and came over here to ask me for a job.
Why, Jack run off with a meter maid?
Carly: Why I want the job is none of your business.
Craig: And I thought we weren't going to fight.
Carly: You see, this is the problem with you. You are always crossing the line, Craig!
Craig: And you have no patience. Carly?
Craig: Look, I'm willing to discuss this as friends, but as you can see, I am kind of busy. You see this stuff? You see this mess? I have just been to New York. Lucinda tried to stage a takeover of the company. I had to throw her out. I had to fire the staff. I had to collect all the files. You see this company? It's a mess! Barbara and her son Paul have mismanaged it to the point of bankruptcy.
Carly: But I -- I don't understand. I thought this company was very successful.
Craig: Once upon a time. But Barbara's a designer. And Paul is a -- he's a son. They expanded when they should have cut back. They got into markets without doing their homework.
Carly: I see. So the -- the company is failing, so you can't give me a job.
Craig: The company is failing, but I am gonna turn it around. I owe Barbara that much.
Carly: Right. So you've said. But I think you may want to save the crescendo for Margo when she comes after you with a subpoena.
Craig: Is that what you think?
Carly: Well, everybody knows you've been taking money from B.R.O.
It's not a secret.
Craig: Everyone is wrong. I have made that money for B.R.O. three or four times over.
Carly: Oh, good. So when Barbara wakes up, she'll be so dazzled by the spreadsheet, she won't press charges.
Craig: If you thought I'd burned her up, you wouldn't be here. All right?
So save the sarcasm. I can't take it, not today.
Carly: No. I know you wouldn't -- I know you wouldn't burn up anybody. I just meant about the money thing.
Craig: I do need your help.
Carly: I gave you my last million. Sorry.
Craig: No, B.R.O. Needs a spring line -- something different, something fabulous. We have one chance to get back in the game here.
Carly: Well, if you want me, it'll have to be on my terms.
Craig: Oh-hoo-hoo-hoo. That's new and different for you -- dictating terms?
Carly: I mean it.
Craig: Scout's honor -- Jack will not know.
Carly: No, no. First of all, Jack will know. He will know everything.
And secondly, if I take this job, I will be an employee of B.R.O., and that's it! I'm not your girlfriend or your mistress or your confidante. So you'll have to find somebody else's shoulder to cry on. You got it? Between you and me, strictly business.
Craig: What will I do with my tears? I am late to meet my sister.
Carly: And I have to meet Jack. Do we have a deal? [Carly extends her hand]
Craig: Well, I would shake your hand, but I wouldn't want it to be misconstrued.
Carly: Just shake it.
Craig: It's official -- you, me and a lot of dresses.
Carly: No, no, no. Separates, honey. It's a mix-and-match world.
Craig: Love to Jack.
Simon: You see that -- you see that plane out there?
Henry: Yeah, case in point. Katherine? Katherine, would you observe the structures that are holding up that plane, please?
Katie: The pontoons?
Henry: Mm-hmm, exactly. Yes, my dear, that is a sea plane, which is what she failed to rent --
Henry: -- 'Causing us to have a nice little accident, just north of here, that I'll never forget.
Cooley: Yeah, it's pretty small.
Simon: Yes, it is small, very small. So, sweetheart, you ain't goin' anywhere.
Henry: What?! You won't even know I'm there. No, hold it. Better idea -- I've got it. Why don't I just take the first leg? I'm a great pilot. You can ask Katie. That way, you two can just cozy up in the backseat there and get reacquainted. Yeah, no, two's company. Three's a, you know, big pain in the butt. But since I've been keeping your wife alive here, I really -- wha --
what -- what do you mean, "what backseat?" Wha -- what?
Simon: Uh, that's what I mean, "What backseat?" That's a two-seater plane. So anybody wanna guess what cross-dressing cutie pie gets to stay behind?
Cooley: Cross-dressing? You make a habit of this?
Carly: How'd it go with Cass?
Jack: He was booked. I'll catch him later. Where were you?
Carly: I was taking this outfit out for a walk. I wanted to see if it worked.
Jack: Oh, it works.
Carly: Do you like that?
Carly: Do you think it's good?
Jack: It's great. You're a terrific designer.
Carly: I hope so.
Jack: Yeah. You're -- you're gonna make it. You are. You just keep doin' what you're doin'.
Carly: I know. Actually, I wanted to talk to you --
Jack: Once I get everything squared away with Cass, maybe I can help you out, you know, if you need some fabric or anything.
Carly: Oh, that's so sweet, honey. Thank you.
Jack: Cass has got to come through.
Carly: Well, I'm sure he will. But you have to remember that you're not alone anymore, Jack.
Jack: I know.
Carly: I know it's you and your pride, and that's great. But you gotta remember it's the two of us together now.
Jack: Hey, you got any ideas, I'm open.
Carly: Well, actually, I do. Only, you're not gonna like it.
Cass: Do you stay up nights dreaming of ways to make my job more difficult?
Craig: Isn't that every client's prerogative?
Cass: You're not the only one who's at risk here.
Craig: I am fully prepared to testify that I lied to you about Barbara giving me permission for use of B.R.O. funds.
Cass: I don't want you testifying at all. That would be disastrous. Our best refuge, our only refuge, is the fifth amendment -- "Thou shalt not incriminate thyself nor thy attorney nor anyone else if you can possibly help it."
Craig: Think of the book you'll get out of this.
Cass: From my cell?
Craig: It'll be okay. Remember, I didn't do it. Can we do this outside?
Margo: Craig, you said you were gonna walk me through this.
Craig: Yeah, well, I was never in here. And to be here, where she was burned --
Cass: My client will answer your questions but only insofar as they pertain to the night in question.
Craig: It's all right, Cass. She's my sister, too. I'll tell her anything that she wants, just -- just not here.
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