All My Children Transcript Monday 7/22/13
Aired on OWN on 8/29/13
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AJ: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Miranda: [Squealing] No! No! My gosh! Stop! Stop! I'm gonna lose my lunch!
AJ: Geez! Someone had a good talk with their mom, huh?
Miranda: Does it show?
AJ: Well, you're smiling and not complaining, so yeah. It shows!
Miranda: Like I ever complain?
AJ: What -- is she coming back?
Miranda: [Sighs] Nothing definite, but... probably soon, I think.
AJ: Cool. Still want to go to the beach?
Miranda: Soaking up rays with my best friend? I can't think of anything better.
AJ: Well, then let's get on it.
AJ: Come on. [Clears throat] We got everything?
AJ: Go ahead.
Pete: Did you hear me? [Slams laptop shut] I'm trying to tell you that I care about you. Okay? And I think that you care about me, too, Celia. Tell me you don't. Huh?
Colby: Found it! Pete? Did I mess up? Were we supposed to meet up today?
Pete: Mm. Forgot your shades.
Colby: Oh. Must've forgotten them at your place this morning.
Pete: Yeah, when you stopped by... this morning.
Celia: Is that what you were looking for?
Colby: Oh. I know people call it a little black book, but in my case, it's pink.
Pete: You after your next victim?
Colby: We have to find an eligible bachelor for the charity auction.
Celia: Well, you can put that book away because Pete's volunteered! He'd love to be auctioned off.
Pete: That is definitely not it.
Colby: That is a fabulous idea! You are hot, young, rich. You will definitely up the bids for our charity. You're perfect.
Pete: Okay. If I agree... can we talk?
Colby: Actually, Petester, Celia and I have to run. Brooke just called, and she said she needs us at the studio immediately -- ASAP. TTYL!
JR: Oh, hey, Brooke.
Brooke: Oh! JR! What brings you by at this time of day?
JR: Well, I heard Colby is helping with the launch party for Chandler Media and "Talk Tempo."
Brooke: Yes, she is! And she actually has some pretty great ideas.
JR: Oh. Good.
JR: Well, is there any chance there's room for one more Chandler on the planning committee?
Brooke: Well, I-I don't think picking invitation stationery and floral arrangements are quite your thing. Are they, JR?
JR: No, they're not. I was thinking of something maybe a little bit bigger.
Brooke: A hostile takeover?
JR: [Laughs] Uh, no, no. I'm -- I'm thinking of a-a sizzle reel. Your most memorable moments -- Like, hot music, flashy visuals, you know, sneak peeks that make "Talk Tempo" a must-see. I mean, nothing says better that the online networks are wave of the future than visual proof. Right? Look, come on, Brooke. I know that I messed up, okay? But this is my family's business!
Brooke: I like it.
JR: You do? What, no -- no fights? No objections?
Brooke: None. No. I think it's a great idea! Are you ready to work on it?
JR: Show me where the archives are. I'll start right now.
Dimitri: You really believe JR should take the lead on this sizzle reel?
Brooke: Well, it was his idea. You know, I think it's only right that he should have a chance to follow through!
Dimitri: Dixie got to you, didn't she?
Brooke: She is concerned that if he is not given an opportunity to show that he's changed -- yes, that he might revert to his old, self-destructive ways, so --
Dimitri: If that happens, it's nobody's fault but JR's!
Brooke: I want to do this for him... and for Adam! I mean, nothing would mean more to Adam than having his son succeed at something.
Dimitri: [Sighs] I hope it works out, for all our sakes.
Brooke: Me, too.
Colby: Oh, my God. She's wearing the Zanotti no-heels in fuchsia? [Gasps] I so want those shoes.
Celia: I would totally break my ankles in those.
Celia: So, Pete told me that you guys are just friends.
Colby: With benefits.
Celia: So you're not dating.
Colby: God! That is so not this century. Well, at least, for me. That "one guy, one girl" thing? No! I like variety when I hook up -- no commitments, no worries. That's why Pete and I get along so well. I'm him, and he's me, just with facial hair and muscles to die for.
Celia: Wait. What?
Colby: What can I say? We both love a buffet?
Celia: Oh. Well, I guess I read him wrong.
Colby: Seriously? Did you see how fast he jumped at being our bachelor?
Celia: No, not really.
Colby: He's just playing hard-to-get. He totally digs the idea of having women clawing at each other to win a date with him.
Celia: You really think they're gonna act like that at the auction?
Colby: Let's totally make a pact that we won't let ourselves get that way over Pete Cortlandt? Deal?
JR: Hey, man. I'm doing the sizzle reel. Grab me all the shows you have. [Sighs]
Jay: That was the director! Angela's gonna be pissed!
JR: Look, I don't care who it was. When I ask you to do something, you stop what you're doing, and you go do it, okay?
JR: Do you have any idea who I am? Obviously, you don't. I'm JR Chandler, as in Chandler media. Do you get it? Now, get me the show numbers! [Sighs]
JR: [Pulls the plug out of the wall]
Dimitri: Is there a problem here?
JR: Only with this idiot.
Dimitri: Okay, okay. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Why don't we just all of us calm down? And you -- you. Brooke just told me your idea for the sizzle reel. I think it's great! And it's bound to have a big impression on both our investors and your father!
JR: Yes. That's what I'm trying to do, if I can get some freaking cooperation around here! You know, I --
Dimitri: [Stammering] Space is a little tight right now. Hey, why don't you work from home. I can have Jay gather up everything you need, have it messengered over if that works for you.
JR: You know what? I don't want to be difficult, Dimitri.
Dimitri: No, no, no, no, no! You sort out your files, and we get you an editor -- one of your choice! How's that sound?
JR: Great. Thank you, Dimitri.
Dimitri: It's my pleasure. Jay. Give him whatever he needs. It'll make our lives a lot easier.
AJ: All right. Here you go.
Miranda: Thank God it cleared up!
Miranda: Tan lines, here I come. [Removes clothes] Why are you staring at me like that, creeper?
AJ: Nah, I was just gonna say you need sunscreen, okay? Take it easy.
Miranda: Oh, you're right! Um, will you do my back?
AJ: Yeah. Okay. Hey, you got to guess what I'm writing, okay?
Miranda: Oh, you know you're so much better at this than me.
AJ: Come on. Here we go.
AJ: All right. Ready?
Miranda: "O." "H." "I." "V." "R"? "Ohivr"? What kind of word is "Ohivr"?
AJ: "Ohivr"? Really? "Ohivr." Come on, Miranda.
Miranda: What! That's what you said!
AJ: Try again!
Miranda: Okay. All right. Uh, "L." Oliv -- Oliver?
Miranda: Like the cook's grandson? Okay, is he adorable or what?
AJ: Yeah, he is! And you know what? You're a total lotion dyslexic.
Miranda: Oh, shut up! You just have crappy handwriting.
AJ: Uh-oh. [Tickling]
Miranda: No, no, no! No. Stop it! Stop it! You're dead!
AJ: Get off me!
Heather: Hey, peeps!
AJ: Hey! What's up, girls?! Glad you could join us!
JR: [Injects himself] [Sighs]
Colby: First on the agenda is an auction... with biddings on things like trips we'll get a travel agency to donate...
Colby: ... and possibly a car from one of the local car dealers, and a day in a spa, and also -- get this -- a date with one of Pine Valley's most eligible bachelors.
Brooke: Oh, I love that! [Laughs] So, did you find somebody who's willing to do that?
Colby: Mm. I already did.
Colby: Get this -- Petey Cortlandt!
Colby: He is so thrilled to do the deed for charity.
[Cell phone ringing]
Colby: Yes? No, we do not want cake pops! Because this event is not taking place in 2010! Besides, we already have someone taking care of desserts. Catering screw-up. I have to take this.
Brooke: Okay. So, are you okay with Pete being auctioned off?
Celia: [Scoffs] Yeah! Yeah. Why wouldn't I be? It's for a good cause! Besides, it's not like me and Pete are hooking up or anything.
Brooke: I know.
Celia: Well, not anymore.
Brooke: No, I know. It's just that, you know, that doesn't mean that you don't still care about him. And I wouldn't be surprised if he still cares about you.
Celia: Yeah, well, it doesn't matter. Pete is not the right guy for me.
Brooke: Well, what made you change your mind?
Celia: Pete -- he plays things free and loose, and he wants lots of girls in his life, which -- that's fine. That's just not for me.
Brooke: Well, it's funny, because I get the feeling that Pete is into you and just you.
Celia: [Scoffs] Well, I'm sure he makes every girl feel that way.
Brooke: Well, you know what I think? I don't think he would've taken you to New York and treated you with such respect... if he didn't think that you were different than all the other girls.
Celia: [Chuckles dryly] Maybe he likes variety, or he likes a challenge!
Brooke: Maybe he likes you. Trust me. Celia, it takes a special woman to make a man change. And you, my dear Celia, are a very special young woman.
Celia: Thank you, Brooke.
Brooke: And you know what? I think that Pete agrees with me.
Billy Clyde: Is this the pose you had Palmer Cortlandt strike before you shot him?
Abramo: Every man is different. To capture the soul of my subjects, the lighting needs to be perfect.
Billy Clyde: Uh, uh, of course, it -- if this is a question of funds, just open your pockets and let me line them even more deeply. No, go on -- open them up, and we'll line them right now. But the sooner, the better. Come on.
Abramo: That won't be necessary.
Billy Clyde: Mm. Well, above all, you understand, I want quality. Yes. Now, I don't care if -- if that camera can put the quality, the essence of Palmer Cortlandt's soul there, then it can capture my essence, too.
Abramo: I can tell, sir, you are a man of great distinction and quality, and I assure you... the image will match.
Billy Clyde: You know, every important gentleman has a photograph taken by a high-class shutter-fly professional.
Abramo: Okay. I think we're ready.
[Camera shutter clicks]
JR: [Destroys his laptop when his disc won't work]
Dixie: Oh, whoa! What happened here?
JR: [Sighs] Yeah. I had a major klutz moment.
Dixie: I hope you didn't lose anything you were working on.
JR: No. I mean, luckily, I hadn't even started it yet, but it's gonna be a sizzle reel, you know, for the Chandler Media launch party. Brooke put me in charge.
Dixie: Oh, honey, that's so great. I'm so glad Brooke's giving you that opportunity!
JR: You know, this is my chance, Mom, to prove to Brooke that I can be part of this company again.
Dixie: Well, don't put too much pressure on one event, you know? You still have to deal with your dad.
JR: You know what? I shouldn't even have to deal with him, Mom! Do you know that by birthright alone, I'm supposed to be part of this company?
JR: No -- and I am gonna be a part of it, okay? I'm gonna make that damn reel, okay, and I'm gonna prove everybody wrong.
Colby: I'm so glad you called. You should've said something about coffee before you dropped off my shades.
Pete: [Removes Colby's hand from his leg] I didn't want to add to Celia's confusion about us.
Colby: What are you talking about?
Pete: It seems she's under the impression you and I were a thing. I mean, who could've led her to believe that?
Colby: Who knows? I mean, she is old-fashioned. Maybe she just assumed since we slept together, we're an item.
Pete: How does she know we slept together? I-I certainly didn't say anything.
Colby: [Scoffs] How should I know? Maybe she's perceptive and picked up on our hot vibe. [Chuckles]
Pete: You didn't say anything?
Colby: No! But she did grill me about the two of us, and I just told her we were just friends.
Colby: You can thank me any minute now, can't you?
Colby: [Laughs] So, about that friendship thing -- I could go for some of those benefits now. How about you?
Pete: That's not a good idea.
Colby: Oh, please, don't tell me you have to work again? If you're gonna choose some biotech nano-app over me, I might as well kiss my self-esteem goodbye.
Pete: Listen, I've had plenty of time to think about hooking up with you. Trust me, Colby. It's a no-go.
Colby: [Chuckling] Are you high? We were hot together.
Jane: Can I get you two anything else?
Pete: No, Jane. Actually, we're good here.
Pete: Thank you.
Jane: You're welcome.
Colby: Whatever happened to the Pete Cortlandt we all knew and love -- the one that would jump my bones in a flash?
Pete: Maybe I'm changing. I'll see you later, Colby.
Heather: Can you burn your fingernails? Oh, my theme song! Anybody want ice cream?
Miranda: Oh, me! Something chocolate.
Kirsten: Oh, me, too.
Rachel: I'll have a twist.
Heather: AJ, do you want to help?
AJ: Yeah, why not? [Grunts]
Hunter: Kirsten, Rachel. What's up? You slumming today?
Rachel: Hey, guys!
Kirsten: Just catching some rays.
Kyle: Why are you hanging with it? You know, if you're seen with her, your cred is toast.
Kristen: We're gonna get some drinks... Do you guys want to come?
Kyle: We're good.
Hunter: We're good.
Heather: So, I heard you're having a major party at your place.
AJ: Oh, yeah. It's for a charity thing. Got to wear a tux.
Heather: Sounds awesome.
AJ: Yeah! You know, you should totally come. Miranda's gonna be there.
Heather: Don't you have to have an invite?
AJ: Yeah. But Brooke said I could bring whoever I want. You down to come with me?
Heather: That would be great!
AJ: All right!
Hunter: You know, you should really try rubbing some sugar water on your chest.
Hunter: Because maybe a mosquito will bite you, and, hopefully, you'll get some boobs.
Kyle: [Laughs] Yeah. Let's see those itty-bitty titties.
Miranda: Screw you, Kyle!
Hunter: Oh, you know how? Thought you only did it with girls.
Kyle: [Laughing] Oh, guess it's time to go meet your lesbo girlfriend. [Laughs]
Dixie: Whew! I bet you can't wait to show Adam all this?
Brooke: [Chuckles] I think it's gonna be more of a question of when do I show him. At the rate he's going, I'm sure he's gonna show his face around here until -- I don't know -- season two?
Dixie: Well, won't he be at the gala?
Brooke: I don't think so.
Dixie: Oh! I'm sorry! I know you must miss him.
Brooke: Somehow, I don't think you came over here to ask about Adam.
Dixie: I didn't. You're right. I wanted to thank you.
Brooke: Oh, for what?
Dixie: Well, for giving JR a chance, with the sizzle reel. It really means a lot to him, and to me, too.
Brooke: I have to be honest. I was very wary of letting him do it, you know, because this is big event, and Chandler has to be shown in the best way possible.
Dixie: I know, but JR is up to the task. Trust me -- he's gonna put his heart and soul into this reel and make it amazing.
Brooke: I'm sure he will.
Dixie: But, I can't say that it doesn't worry me a little.
Brooke: How so?
Dixie: Well, JR is counting on this reel to cement his place at Chandler.
Brooke: Dixie, all I can do is give him a chance to prove himself, and whether or not that results in a job at Chandler Media -- that's up to JR.
Dixie: That's all I ask.
David: I didn't expect to find you here! Have you traded in your taste for Cristal? May I?
David: Since when have you chosen a latte over champagne?
Colby: It's way too early. Besides, I'm not in the mood for bubbly.
David: Pine Valley's own Paris Hilton not in the mood for a party? Something's rotten in the state of Colby Chandler. What's up?
Colby: Just life.
David: Why do I get the impression this somehow involves my current business partner? Let me guess. Petey decided to cool it off with you?
Colby: David, I can handle any guy that comes my way. I don't need an over-egoed man-child to boost my self-esteem.
David: My mistake. But still, you might be interested in a little retribution -- maybe stick it to little Petey a wee bit?
Colby: I'm listening.
David: Now only does my idea have PC Junior take it on the chin, it just might shake up a few Chandlers, as well. You want in?
Colby: You had me at "retribution."
Pete: Hey, you. Do you mind if I sit down?
Celia: It's a public bench.
Pete: Ouch. Are you mad at me?
Celia: No. Please, sit down.
Pete: [Sighs] Now that it's just the two of us, alone, can we please finish our conversation?
Celia: What's left to say?
Pete: I love you, Celia Fitzgerald. Only you.
Celia: [Scoffs as she wakes up from her daydream. She taps her pencil on her palm and breathes heavily as she remembers.]
Celia: [Recalls seeing a murder] Aah!
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