AMC Transcript Monday 7/22/13 Ep. 31

All My Children Transcript Monday 7/22/13
Aired on OWN on 8/29/13


Episode #31

Provided By Gisele

AJ: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Miranda: [Squealing] No! No! My gosh! Stop! Stop! I'm gonna lose my lunch!

AJ: Geez! Someone had a good talk with their mom, huh?

Miranda: Does it show?

AJ: Well, you're smiling and not complaining, so yeah. It shows!

Miranda: Like I ever complain?

AJ: What -- is she coming back?

Miranda: [Sighs] Nothing definite, but... probably soon, I think.

AJ: Cool. Still want to go to the beach?

Miranda: Soaking up rays with my best friend? I can't think of anything better.

AJ: Well, then let's get on it.

Miranda: Okay.

AJ: Come on. [Clears throat] We got everything?

Miranda: Yeah.

AJ: Go ahead.

Pete: Did you hear me? [Slams laptop shut] I'm trying to tell you that I care about you. Okay? And I think that you care about me, too, Celia. Tell me you don't. Huh?

Colby: Found it! Pete? Did I mess up? Were we supposed to meet up today?

Pete: Mm. Forgot your shades.

Colby: Oh. Must've forgotten them at your place this morning.

Pete: Yeah, when you stopped by... this morning.

Celia: Is that what you were looking for?

Colby: Oh. I know people call it a little black book, but in my case, it's pink.

Pete: You after your next victim?

Colby: We have to find an eligible bachelor for the charity auction.

Celia: Well, you can put that book away because Pete's volunteered! He'd love to be auctioned off.

Pete: That is definitely not it.

Colby: That is a fabulous idea! You are hot, young, rich. You will definitely up the bids for our charity. You're perfect.

Pete: Okay. If I agree... can we talk?

Colby: Actually, Petester, Celia and I have to run. Brooke just called, and she said she needs us at the studio immediately -- ASAP. TTYL!

JR: Oh, hey, Brooke.

Brooke: Oh! JR! What brings you by at this time of day?

JR: Well, I heard Colby is helping with the launch party for Chandler Media and "Talk Tempo."

Brooke: Yes, she is! And she actually has some pretty great ideas.

JR: Oh. Good.

Brooke: Thanks.

JR: Well, is there any chance there's room for one more Chandler on the planning committee?

Brooke: Well, I-I don't think picking invitation stationery and floral arrangements are quite your thing. Are they, JR?

JR: No, they're not. I was thinking of something maybe a little bit bigger.

Brooke: A hostile takeover?

JR: [Laughs] Uh, no, no. I'm -- I'm thinking of a-a sizzle reel. Your most memorable moments -- Like, hot music, flashy visuals, you know, sneak peeks that make "Talk Tempo" a must-see. I mean, nothing says better that the online networks are wave of the future than visual proof. Right? Look, come on, Brooke. I know that I messed up, okay? But this is my family's business!

Brooke: I like it.

JR: You do? What, no -- no fights? No objections?

Brooke: None. No. I think it's a great idea! Are you ready to work on it?

JR: Show me where the archives are. I'll start right now.

Dimitri: You really believe JR should take the lead on this sizzle reel?

Brooke: Well, it was his idea. You know, I think it's only right that he should have a chance to follow through!

Dimitri: Dixie got to you, didn't she?

Brooke: She is concerned that if he is not given an opportunity to show that he's changed -- yes, that he might revert to his old, self-destructive ways, so --

Dimitri: If that happens, it's nobody's fault but JR's!

Brooke: I want to do this for him... and for Adam! I mean, nothing would mean more to Adam than having his son succeed at something.

Dimitri: [Sighs] I hope it works out, for all our sakes.

Brooke: Me, too.

Colby: Oh, my God. She's wearing the Zanotti no-heels in fuchsia? [Gasps] I so want those shoes.

Celia: I would totally break my ankles in those.

Colby: [Scoffs]

Celia: So, Pete told me that you guys are just friends.

Colby: With benefits.

Celia: So you're not dating.

Colby: God! That is so not this century. Well, at least, for me. That "one guy, one girl" thing? No! I like variety when I hook up -- no commitments, no worries. That's why Pete and I get along so well. I'm him, and he's me, just with facial hair and muscles to die for.

Celia: Wait. What?

Colby: What can I say? We both love a buffet?

Celia: Oh. Well, I guess I read him wrong.

Colby: Seriously? Did you see how fast he jumped at being our bachelor?

Celia: No, not really.

Colby: He's just playing hard-to-get. He totally digs the idea of having women clawing at each other to win a date with him.

Celia: You really think they're gonna act like that at the auction?

Colby: Let's totally make a pact that we won't let ourselves get that way over Pete Cortlandt? Deal?

JR: Hey, man. I'm doing the sizzle reel. Grab me all the shows you have. [Sighs]

Jay: That was the director! Angela's gonna be pissed!

JR: Look, I don't care who it was. When I ask you to do something, you stop what you're doing, and you go do it, okay?

Jay: Seriously?

JR: Do you have any idea who I am? Obviously, you don't. I'm JR Chandler, as in Chandler media. Do you get it? Now, get me the show numbers! [Sighs]

[Telephone rings]

JR: [Pulls the plug out of the wall]

Jay: Shit.

Dimitri: Is there a problem here?

JR: Only with this idiot.

Dimitri: Okay, okay. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Why don't we just all of us calm down? And you -- you. Brooke just told me your idea for the sizzle reel. I think it's great! And it's bound to have a big impression on both our investors and your father!

JR: Yes. That's what I'm trying to do, if I can get some freaking cooperation around here! You know, I --

Dimitri: [Stammering] Space is a little tight right now. Hey, why don't you work from home. I can have Jay gather up everything you need, have it messengered over if that works for you.

JR: You know what? I don't want to be difficult, Dimitri.

Dimitri: No, no, no, no, no! You sort out your files, and we get you an editor -- one of your choice! How's that sound?

JR: Great. Thank you, Dimitri.

Dimitri: It's my pleasure. Jay. Give him whatever he needs. It'll make our lives a lot easier.

AJ: All right. Here you go.

Miranda: Thank God it cleared up!

AJ: Yeah.

Miranda: Tan lines, here I come. [Removes clothes] Why are you staring at me like that, creeper?

AJ: Nah, I was just gonna say you need sunscreen, okay? Take it easy.

Miranda: Oh, you're right! Um, will you do my back?

AJ: Yeah. Okay. Hey, you got to guess what I'm writing, okay?

Miranda: Oh, you know you're so much better at this than me.

AJ: Come on. Here we go.

Miranda: Okay.

AJ: All right. Ready?

Miranda: "O." "H." "I." "V." "R"? "Ohivr"? What kind of word is "Ohivr"?

AJ: "Ohivr"? Really? "Ohivr." Come on, Miranda.

Miranda: What! That's what you said!

AJ: Try again!

Miranda: Okay. All right. Uh, "L." Oliv -- Oliver?

AJ: Oliver.

Miranda: Like the cook's grandson? Okay, is he adorable or what?

AJ: Yeah, he is! And you know what? You're a total lotion dyslexic.

Miranda: Oh, shut up! You just have crappy handwriting.

AJ: Uh-oh. [Tickling]

Miranda: No, no, no! No. Stop it! Stop it! You're dead!

AJ: Get off me!

Heather: Hey, peeps!

AJ: Hey! What's up, girls?! Glad you could join us!

JR: [Injects himself] [Sighs]

Colby: First on the agenda is an auction... with biddings on things like trips we'll get a travel agency to donate...

Brooke: Hm-hmm.

Colby: ... and possibly a car from one of the local car dealers, and a day in a spa, and also -- get this -- a date with one of Pine Valley's most eligible bachelors.

Brooke: Oh, I love that! [Laughs] So, did you find somebody who's willing to do that?

Colby: Mm. I already did.

Brooke: Yeah?

Colby: Get this -- Petey Cortlandt!

Brooke: Aha!

Colby: He is so thrilled to do the deed for charity.

[Cell phone ringing]

Colby: Yes? No, we do not want cake pops! Because this event is not taking place in 2010! Besides, we already have someone taking care of desserts. Catering screw-up. I have to take this.

Brooke: Okay. So, are you okay with Pete being auctioned off?

Celia: [Scoffs] Yeah! Yeah. Why wouldn't I be? It's for a good cause! Besides, it's not like me and Pete are hooking up or anything.

Brooke: I know.

Celia: Well, not anymore.

Brooke: No, I know. It's just that, you know, that doesn't mean that you don't still care about him. And I wouldn't be surprised if he still cares about you.

Celia: Yeah, well, it doesn't matter. Pete is not the right guy for me.

Brooke: Well, what made you change your mind?

Celia: Pete -- he plays things free and loose, and he wants lots of girls in his life, which -- that's fine. That's just not for me.

Brooke: Well, it's funny, because I get the feeling that Pete is into you and just you.

Celia: [Scoffs] Well, I'm sure he makes every girl feel that way.

Brooke: Well, you know what I think? I don't think he would've taken you to New York and treated you with such respect... if he didn't think that you were different than all the other girls.

Celia: [Chuckles dryly] Maybe he likes variety, or he likes a challenge!

Brooke: Maybe he likes you. Trust me. Celia, it takes a special woman to make a man change. And you, my dear Celia, are a very special young woman.

Celia: Thank you, Brooke.

Brooke: And you know what? I think that Pete agrees with me.

[Both chuckle]

Billy Clyde: Is this the pose you had Palmer Cortlandt strike before you shot him?

Abramo: Every man is different. To capture the soul of my subjects, the lighting needs to be perfect.

Billy Clyde: Uh, uh, of course, it -- if this is a question of funds, just open your pockets and let me line them even more deeply. No, go on -- open them up, and we'll line them right now. But the sooner, the better. Come on.

Abramo: That won't be necessary.

Billy Clyde: Mm. Well, above all, you understand, I want quality. Yes. Now, I don't care if -- if that camera can put the quality, the essence of Palmer Cortlandt's soul there, then it can capture my essence, too.

Abramo: I can tell, sir, you are a man of great distinction and quality, and I assure you... the image will match.

Billy Clyde: You know, every important gentleman has a photograph taken by a high-class shutter-fly professional.

Abramo: Okay. I think we're ready.

[Camera shutter clicks]

JR: [Destroys his laptop when his disc won't work]

Dixie: Oh, whoa! What happened here?

JR: [Sighs] Yeah. I had a major klutz moment.

Dixie: I hope you didn't lose anything you were working on.

JR: No. I mean, luckily, I hadn't even started it yet, but it's gonna be a sizzle reel, you know, for the Chandler Media launch party. Brooke put me in charge.

Dixie: Oh, honey, that's so great. I'm so glad Brooke's giving you that opportunity!

JR: You know, this is my chance, Mom, to prove to Brooke that I can be part of this company again.

Dixie: Well, don't put too much pressure on one event, you know? You still have to deal with your dad.

JR: You know what? I shouldn't even have to deal with him, Mom! Do you know that by birthright alone, I'm supposed to be part of this company?

Dixie: Okay.

JR: No -- and I am gonna be a part of it, okay? I'm gonna make that damn reel, okay, and I'm gonna prove everybody wrong.

Colby: I'm so glad you called. You should've said something about coffee before you dropped off my shades.

Pete: [Removes Colby's hand from his leg] I didn't want to add to Celia's confusion about us.

Colby: What are you talking about?

Pete: It seems she's under the impression you and I were a thing. I mean, who could've led her to believe that?

Colby: Who knows? I mean, she is old-fashioned. Maybe she just assumed since we slept together, we're an item.

Pete: How does she know we slept together? I-I certainly didn't say anything.

Colby: [Scoffs] How should I know? Maybe she's perceptive and picked up on our hot vibe. [Chuckles]

Pete: You didn't say anything?

Colby: No! But she did grill me about the two of us, and I just told her we were just friends.

Pete: [Scoffs]

Colby: You can thank me any minute now, can't you?

Pete: Thanks.

Colby: [Laughs] So, about that friendship thing -- I could go for some of those benefits now. How about you?

Pete: That's not a good idea.

Colby: Oh, please, don't tell me you have to work again? If you're gonna choose some biotech nano-app over me, I might as well kiss my self-esteem goodbye.

Pete: Listen, I've had plenty of time to think about hooking up with you. Trust me, Colby. It's a no-go.

Colby: [Chuckling] Are you high? We were hot together.

Jane: Can I get you two anything else?

Pete: No, Jane. Actually, we're good here.

Jane: Okay.

Pete: Thank you.

Jane: You're welcome.

Colby: Whatever happened to the Pete Cortlandt we all knew and love -- the one that would jump my bones in a flash?

Pete: Maybe I'm changing. I'll see you later, Colby.

Heather: Can you burn your fingernails? Oh, my theme song! Anybody want ice cream?

Miranda: Oh, me! Something chocolate.

Kirsten: Oh, me, too.

Rachel: I'll have a twist.

Heather: AJ, do you want to help?

AJ: Yeah, why not? [Grunts]

Hunter: Kirsten, Rachel. What's up? You slumming today?

Rachel: Hey, guys!

Kirsten: Just catching some rays.

Kyle: Why are you hanging with it? You know, if you're seen with her, your cred is toast.

Kristen: We're gonna get some drinks... Do you guys want to come?

Hunter: Nah.

Kyle: We're good.

Hunter: We're good.

Heather: So, I heard you're having a major party at your place.

AJ: Oh, yeah. It's for a charity thing. Got to wear a tux.

Heather: Sounds awesome.

AJ: Yeah! You know, you should totally come. Miranda's gonna be there.

Heather: Don't you have to have an invite?

AJ: Yeah. But Brooke said I could bring whoever I want. You down to come with me?

Heather: That would be great!

AJ: All right!

Hunter: You know, you should really try rubbing some sugar water on your chest.

Miranda: Why?

Hunter: Because maybe a mosquito will bite you, and, hopefully, you'll get some boobs.

Kyle: [Laughs] Yeah. Let's see those itty-bitty titties.

Miranda: Screw you, Kyle!

Hunter: Oh, you know how? Thought you only did it with girls.

Kyle: [Laughing] Oh, guess it's time to go meet your lesbo girlfriend. [Laughs]

Dixie: Whew! I bet you can't wait to show Adam all this?

Brooke: [Chuckles] I think it's gonna be more of a question of when do I show him. At the rate he's going, I'm sure he's gonna show his face around here until -- I don't know -- season two?

Dixie: Well, won't he be at the gala?

Brooke: I don't think so.

Dixie: Oh! I'm sorry! I know you must miss him.

Brooke: Somehow, I don't think you came over here to ask about Adam.

Dixie: I didn't. You're right. I wanted to thank you.

Brooke: Oh, for what?

Dixie: Well, for giving JR a chance, with the sizzle reel. It really means a lot to him, and to me, too.

Brooke: I have to be honest. I was very wary of letting him do it, you know, because this is big event, and Chandler has to be shown in the best way possible.

Dixie: I know, but JR is up to the task. Trust me -- he's gonna put his heart and soul into this reel and make it amazing.

Brooke: I'm sure he will.

Dixie: But, I can't say that it doesn't worry me a little.

Brooke: How so?

Dixie: Well, JR is counting on this reel to cement his place at Chandler.

Brooke: Dixie, all I can do is give him a chance to prove himself, and whether or not that results in a job at Chandler Media -- that's up to JR.

Dixie: That's all I ask.

David: I didn't expect to find you here! Have you traded in your taste for Cristal? May I?

Colby: Sure.

David: Since when have you chosen a latte over champagne?

Colby: It's way too early. Besides, I'm not in the mood for bubbly.

David: Pine Valley's own Paris Hilton not in the mood for a party? Something's rotten in the state of Colby Chandler. What's up?

Colby: Just life.

David: Why do I get the impression this somehow involves my current business partner? Let me guess. Petey decided to cool it off with you?

Colby: David, I can handle any guy that comes my way. I don't need an over-egoed man-child to boost my self-esteem.

David: My mistake. But still, you might be interested in a little retribution -- maybe stick it to little Petey a wee bit?

Colby: I'm listening.

David: Now only does my idea have PC Junior take it on the chin, it just might shake up a few Chandlers, as well. You want in?

Colby: You had me at "retribution."

Pete: Hey, you. Do you mind if I sit down?

Celia: It's a public bench.

Pete: Ouch. Are you mad at me?

Celia: No. Please, sit down.

Pete: [Sighs] Now that it's just the two of us, alone, can we please finish our conversation?

Celia: What's left to say?

Pete: I love you, Celia Fitzgerald. Only you.


Celia: [Scoffs as she wakes up from her daydream. She taps her pencil on her palm and breathes heavily as she remembers.]

[Distorted singing]

Celia: [Recalls seeing a murder] Aah!

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