All My Children Transcript Monday 6/10/13
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Lea: Where the hell have you been?
Zach: Not one for pleasantries, are you?
Lea: This is serious, Slater.
Zach: I can tell by the way your voice is too loud for this room.
Jesse: Hey, can we do this little tap dance a little later? I need you to look at something.
Lea: Looks Eastern European. Russian, maybe. Wait...
JR: Hey, AJ. David. Didn't expect to find you two here.
AJ: Hey, Dad. Uh, we just sort of bumped into each other.
JR: Oh, it's okay. You don't have to explain.
David: Of course, he doesn't. AJ's my grandson. Why wouldn't we be together? Unless that's something else that you've conveniently forgotten.
JR: No, of course, I remember. You're Babe's father. As well as everything about her. She was the love of my life.
David: Huh. Well, that's pretty funny, considering how you tormented her -- the hell you put her and AJ through.
AJ: Hey, can we not...
JR: Look, it's okay. I know I wasn't the best father or husband.
David: You're right about that. You were a vindictive, murderous drunk.
JR: Look, AJ, I loved your mother. And I always will. She was the love of my life. She gave me the greatest gift ever -- you.
Pete: Damn it!
Colby: This is a no phone zone.
Pete: Okay, I still have work to do.
Colby: You always have work to do. Why be born into money if you can't take a siesta?
Pete: Okay, Colby, seriously. Somebody could be trying --
Colby: What's more interesting -- some stupid corporate lawyer or moi? [Laughs] Okay, now you're giving me a complex.
Pete: Listen, I --
Colby: Don't waste your breath, 'cause I always get what I want.
Pete: I'm just not really in the party mood. There's a lot of stuff going on CE, not to mention my company's about to go public.
Colby: Oh, this isn't about work. You're a Type "A." You feed on pressure. Is this about that high-school chick you're hitting on?
Pete: Uh, she's not in high school, okay? She teaches Art History at Bramwell.
Colby: Did Opal drop you on your head? Why are you interested in this girl? Why waste your time with a no-show when you can have this?
Pete: I swear you just never change, Colby.
Colby: But you sure have. And definitely for the better.
Pete: Yeah. Do you remember when you were interested in anybody but me?
Colby: I was young.
Pete: I'll be right back. [Chuckles]
[Cell phone rings]
Celia: Uh, sorry. I think I have the wrong number.
Colby: Are you looking for Pete?
Celia: Yeah. Actually, I was.
Colby: [Giggles] I'm sorry. He's a little... busy right now. Stop it, Pete. Would you like to leave a message?
Celia: No. No, I don't.
Lea: I thought so. Take a look.
Zach: Oh, it's Koslov's.
Lea: Ever since we thought there was a link between the money-laundering case and Cassandra's kidnapping, I've pulled everything on the Koslovs -- rap sheets, immigration info, the works. I thought I had seen this before.
Jesse: Forensics ran it for prints. It was clean.
Lea: Where did you find this anyway?
Jesse: On a dead body we found in an alley this morning.
Zach: So Koslov's dead.
Lea: You can't assume it was Koslov's body just because he was wearing the same medallion. DB have prints?
Jesse: [Scoffs] Prints, facial features -- all burned beyond recognition.
Zach: So, someone didn't want to be ID'd.
Jesse: I'm waiting on dental records. Hopefully, when I get that, we'll be able to ID him.
JR: You know, I saw your press conference. You know, I'm no medical expert, but this biosensor sounds pretty innovative. I hope your relationship with Pete Cortlandt works out.
David: Mm. Is this sensitivity thing working for you, Junior? Because I'm not buying it for a second.
JR: Well, believe what you want, but I'm genuinely happy for you. You're getting a second chance. We've got a lot in common.
David: [Chuckles] All right. Let's see. Um... I'm a brilliant, world-renowned medical innovator, whereas you are a feeble, homicidal executive wannabe. Now, what part of that connection am I missing?
AJ: Let off of him, okay?
JR: It's okay. You know, I'm hoping people are gonna judge me for who I am today, not who I used to be.
David: If you think anyone's gonna give you another chance in this town, you're dreaming.
JR: Well, I certainly hope Brooke doesn't feel that way. I mean, you should really see what she's doing with Chandler media. I mean, she's taking it to a whole new level. I'm hoping that as soon as I'm strong enough, I'm gonna be a huge part of it.
Jane: Sorry. Oh. Thank you. [Exclaims]
Dixie: Hey, Angie. It's Dixie. Um, listen, I'm so sorry I haven't called you --
Billy Clyde: Dixie!
Dixie: [Screams] What are you doing here? What do you want from me?
Billy Clyde: Not a thing. Except your forgiveness.
Dixie: Forgiveness?! Are you crazy?! You kidnapped me. You tried to kill my husband. How dare you ask me for forgiveness!
Billy Clyde: Dixie, dear --
Dixie: No. Don't you -- don't you take one more step toward me, or I swear to God, I will call the police, Mister.
Billy Clyde: Now, Dixie --
Dixie: No! [Slaps]
Billy Clyde: Oh!
Dixie: Snap out of it. I swear to God, if you ever touch me again, I will call the police, and you will rue the day.
Billy Clyde: [Sighs]
AJ: Let me help you up. Please.
JR: All right. Thanks.
Jane: I am such a klutz.
JR: No. It's totally my fault.
Jane: I'm gonna get more to clean this up.
JR: It's okay. Thank you.
AJ: Are you sure you're okay?
JR: Yeah, I'm fine. Look, I took a spill. It's no big deal. [Chuckles] Aren't you supposed to go meet Miranda?
AJ: I mean, I don't want to just leave you here.
JR: AJ, I'm fine. Really. [Chuckling] Come on. It's okay.
AJ: All right.
JR: I've got it.
AJ: All right. I'll see you later.
David: Hey. [Hugs AJ] Now that I'm back, let's stay in touch, all right? If that was your audition for "Dancing With the Stars," I'd say you blew it.
JR: Accidents happen.
David: Mm. Well, the way you're going, you won't be strong enough to be Brooke's errand boy, let alone an executive at Chandler Media. You might want to hit the gym, Junior, before someone kicks sand in your face.
JR: I know what you're up to with my son. You blame me for the loss of your daughters, and you think you can get back at me through him. That is not gonna happen. I won't sit back and let you take my son.
Opal: Oh! [Chuckles] Celia.
Celia: Hi, Mrs. Cortlandt. Uh, sorry. I was just returning some things.
Opal: Oh, well, first, it's just Opal. Call me Opal, but... did, uh, did Pete leave some of his clothes with you or...?
Celia: Oh, no. No. Nothing like that. He bought them for me in New York.
Opal: And you're returning them. Aww. Then it's true? You and Petey broke up? Oh, I'm sorry. Why don't you come inside, and I'll make you a nice cup of my special tea.
Celia: Thanks, but I don't really want to interrupt.
Opal: Oh, I'm just doing my tai chi. [Chuckles] Lord knows that can wait. Come on. Come in the house, now.
Jesse: I got a dentist in Moscow to send me Uri's dental records. The ME's reviewing them now.
Lea: That should clarify things.
Zach: Hey, while we're waiting, can you fingerprint me? Because super-agent over here thinks I killed Koslov.
Jesse: Have you not seen what this man has been willing to do for me and my wife? To even think that this man could kill somebody is crazy. You are scary!
Zach: Jesse! Jesse! Jesse! We'll deal with that later. What do we know about Cassandra?
Jesse: [Sighs] It's just one dead end after another.
Lea: I have to tell you, Jesse -- we have no idea what kind of lead time they had. I'm really sorry. Whoever took Cassandra could be long gone by now.
Jesse: You got news for me?
ME: We have a match.
ME: I compared the records that were sent from Moscow to the victim that we have, and, uh, it's identical. The body found this morning is Uri Koslov.
Lea: I'm not surprised.
ME: I've also positively ID'd the blood found on the weapon at the crime scene as Uri Koslov's, and the wounds in the chest of the victim are consistent with the weapon's dimensions. Mr. Koslov was stabbed with the letter opener.
Jesse: Well, that pretty much answers all those questions.
ME: Yeah, one more thing. I found some prints on the letter opener. I figured I'd run them through the system to see if we found anything on them, and... the prints were an exact match for Zach Slater.
Colby: Looks like the ex-con thing is kind of working out for you.
David: Mm. And I'm guessing your sole contribution to the world over these past five years has been skimming the cream off your daddy's company.
Colby: [Chuckles] It's a gift. So, are you two really doing business together?
Pete: That's the plan.
Colby: Wear a bullet-proof vest. This one shoots when he gets mad.
David: I forgot what a sense of humor you had, Colby.
Colby: Well, you are the big, bad wolf. But lucky for everyone, Pete is even more genius than you, and he can totally handle the mano a mano.
David: Oh, I don't think I'm the mano a mano that Pete needs to be looking out for.
Jesse: What the hell?!
Uri: Is there problem?
Jesse: Framing Zach Slater was not a part of the deal.
Uri: Actually, it was. You just never figured it out.
Jesse: The deal was you disappear, I get my daughter. That was the deal.
Uri: Your friend, your daughter, your choice.
Jesse: The frame won't hold up.
Uri: An arrest would tie everything up nicely. That is where you come in.
Jesse: I did everything you asked me to do. You need to let my daughter go.
Uri: She will be home as soon as you make that arrest.
[Rock music playing]
Rachel: Hey, Miranda, you want to play?
Miranda: No, I'm good.
Heather: Aren't those girls the biatches that snubbed Miranda at Jane's Addiction?
AJ: Yeah. They've been going to school together for years, though.
Heather: So, they're friends?
AJ: Uh, ye-yeah.
Heather: But they totally blew her off when she wanted to sit with them.
AJ: Oh, it's cool now.
Heather: Did you really just do that?
AJ: Yes. I like it hot.
Heather: All right. Well, share already. Thanks for inviting me.
AJ: Are you kidding me? Thanks for friending us so we could. It was Miranda's idea to give you the invite.
[New song begins playing]
Heather: Are you and Miranda --
AJ: Whoa! I love this song.
Heather: Me, too. Best band ever. I mean, except for the Stones.
AJ: Come on, people. Get up.
Heather: Come on.
Zach: Well, that's not helping me. Call me when you find something. Okay.
Zach: Not yet. No.
Lea: So, is this where your source is going to meet you?
Zach: Mm-hmm. Although not with you here.
Lea: I'm not going anywhere.
Zach: I know. You can't, because you think I killed someone and then left the murder weapons with my fingerprints next to the body. Doesn't make a lot of sense, does it?
Lea: You did slip your tail that night.
Zach: Yeah. And then what did I do? I killed Uri and then found you again? Come on, man. I'm being set up.
Lea: Oh, that's right. Just like you were set up for money laundering.
Zach: [Sighs] Can I explain something to you? If I wanted Koslov gone, they'd never find him.
Lea: You have to admit you had plenty of time, plenty of opportunity, plenty of motive.
Zach: Stop. Shh.
Lea: When you lay out all the evidence --
Zach: Stop. Stop. I'll go very slowly. I did not kill Uri Koslov. But I will find whoever did.
Angie: Don't you try to protect me, not this time. If you've heard anything about Cassandra, I need to know.
Jesse: There's nothing. I swear.
Angie: There is something.
Dixie: Jesse. Excuse me. Uh, Billy Clyde is alive, and he's back in town. I need you to arrest him.
Jesse: For... ?
Dixie: Well, he... kidnapped me, remember? He tried to murder Tad.
Jesse: All right. Calm down, Dixie.
Dixie: I'm not gonna calm down.
Jesse: Well, what did he do today? Did he hurt you in any way?
Dixie: He -- he was creeping around. He tried to talk to me. He -- it doesn't matter, okay? He is crazy, and he was obsessed with me. I need you to do something.
Jesse: Look, Dixie. I'm sorry, but the statute of limitations is five years.
Dixie: So, what? He just gets to be here, free?
Jesse: I'm sorry.
Dixie: He's a monster, Jesse.
Jesse: You know, I wish I could slam every monster up under my jail, but unfortunately, that's just not the way the world works today.
Dixie: You have to do something!
Jesse: You know what? I have some serious police work to do. You have to forgive me. I got to go.
Dixie: Jesse! [Sighs]
Jesse: We'll talk.
Dixie: This is really incredible. I mean, don't you -- Billy Clyde... stalked me. He terrorized me. He tried to kill Tad. I mean -- and now he just gets to live his life?! How am I supposed to live my life like a normal person knowing this wacko is around town?!
Ruby Marie: Holy moley.
Billy Clyde: What?
Ruby Marie: Don't you get your lottery tickets from Gerlach's?
Billy Clyde: I do.
Ruby Marie: The mega-winner hasn't claimed the prize. Where's your ticket?
Billy Clyde: [Groans] Here. Here.
Ruby Marie: Give me that.
Billy Clyde: Hold the line. I gave it to you for safe keeping.
Ruby Marie: [Gasps] Yeah. I put it in my bra. That was days ago.
Billy Clyde: Oh. [Bangs fist] Where is it?
Celia: I actually really, really liked him. I've never felt this way about anyone. I-I'm sure Pete has.
Opal: But you know what they say. Men, they're like streetcars. There's always another one coming down the track, especially for a pretty girl like you.
Celia: I can't imagine dating anyone again.
Opal: Hearts heal, and they grow stronger, take it from one who knows.
Celia: Well, I've taken up enough of your time. Thank you so much for listening.
Opal: Oh, honey. Anytime you feel like talking, you come to Opal, all right?
Celia: Thanks. Thanks for the tea.
Opal: Yeah. You take care of yourself.
Pete: Listen, it is critical that we prioritize...
[Cell phone beeps]
Pete: ... Allocation of funds.
Colby: [Giggles] Sorry.
David: I'd agree. I mean, these numbers look great but R&D is just...
[Cell phone beeps]
David: ... Is just the beginning.
Pete: Look it over. We'll meet again tomorrow?
David: Will do. All right.
Colby: Perfect timing. I was thinking Cheval Blanc, martinis.
Pete: No. I got to stop by Cortlandt.
Colby: I'll go with you.
Pete: It's a meeting.
Colby: I'll wait.
Pete: Honestly, it's gonna be a while, but I will call you. Tomorrow.
David: I hate to break this to you, but he's not gonna call.
Colby: Well, the chase is half the fun.
David: Since when did you have to break a sweat to chase after a guy?
Colby: [Chuckles] I'm as cool as a cucumber.
David: Petey's gone. You don't have to pretend with me.
Colby: I don't know what you think I'm pretending, but I asked a friend to a party, and he was working. It's no big deal.
David: Hmm. Fake it until you feel it, right? Personally, I think you can do a hell of a lot better.
Colby: I don't recall asking you what you think.
David: No, you didn't. I'm just offering an objective opinion. Any young man that would turn down a chance to party with a beautiful, smart, sophisticated girl as yourself is an absolute fool. It's either that or you're losing your touch.
[Cell phone beeps]
Miranda: Oh, my God!
[Cell phone beeps]
Heather: Oh, my -- that shit!
Miranda: Hunter! [Scoffs] God, why does he hate me so much?
Heather: Uh, Miranda, it's not about you. It's about Hunter. He is totally infantile. This proves it. I mean, what a loser! Everyone's gonna think so.
Miranda: No, no, no! You can't tell anyone.
Billy Clyde: [Sobbing] Come, come, come. Oh. Ohh. [Chuckling] [Smooches] Oh. Oh, thank you, Lord. Oh. Honey, read me the numbers.
Ruby Marie: Uh-huh, uh-huh. Okay.
Billy Clyde: [Chuckles]
Ruby Marie: 41.
Billy Clyde: 41.
Ruby Marie: 17.
Billy Clyde: 17.
Ruby Marie: 25.
Billy Clyde: 25.
Ruby Marie: 3?
Billy Clyde: 3.
Ruby Marie: 9...
Billy Clyde: 11.
Billy Clyde: Oh, thank you. Thank you, Jesus, for making me a rich man. [Smooches]
AJ: Hey, what's going on? Too much pepperoni?
Miranda: Oh, yeah. Should have stuck with the veggie pineapple.
AJ: You'd tell me if something was wrong, right?
Miranda: Definitely. Um, it was good that Rachel and Kirsten came.
Miranda: Look, a friendship bracelet. [Chuckles]
AJ: Ooh. Look at that. Nice.
Miranda: Yeah. Kind of weird. [Chuckles] So, um, Heather -- she's super fun.
AJ: Oh, my God. She's awesome. I mean, she liked The Who and jalapenos, like --
Miranda: Ew! Jalapenos? Really?
AJ: My friend, that is literally the one thing. Ugh -- wrong with you -- that you don't have any knowledge for capsicum annuum.
Miranda: Oh, but the Red Hot Chili Peppers count, don't they?
Heather: All right, guys. I'm out of here. Thank you.
AJ: Um... hey. Let me call you a cab real quick.
Heather: Oh, no. It's fine. It's fine.
AJ: Already on it.
Heather: [Chuckles] He is so awesome.
Miranda: Mm, the best.
Heather: And hot. Um... are -- are you guys together?
Miranda: Oh, me and -- and AJ? [Chuckles] No, no, no. We're, um, just friends -- best friends since birth, actually.
Heather: [Chuckles] Lucky you.
Miranda: Yeah. Why? Do you, um - do you like him? [Chuckles]
Heather: Is that okay? I-I wouldn't want to mess anything up.
Miranda: No. Nothing to mess up.
AJ: Hey. Uh, so, the cab's on the way. I'll walk you to the gate.
Pete: Cleaning out your closets?
Opal: Oh, Celia just dropped these by. You know, if you still have the receipts, I can take them to the store and get your money back.
Pete: I can't believe she did this. Did she say anything?
Opal: Oh, just... she didn't want them anymore. Something like that.
Pete: [Chuckles] What the hell did I do that was so wrong?
Colby: So, I already explained. I'm not a bitch. I'm a perfectionist. But you know how the French are.
David: [Chuckles] Mai oui.
Man: I'm sorry, but your credit card was declined.
Colby: Just run it again.
Man: I ran it three times.
Colby: Oh, I'm sorry. There must be some type of misunderstanding. Just put it on my father's account.
Man: I can't do that.
Colby: You do know I'm a Chandler, right?
David: [Chuckles] You know what? It's all right. Just, uh... here. Put it on my bill.
Colby: I'll pay you back.
David: There's no need. [Chuckles] It looks like you shopped your way across the Riviera, huh?
Colby: You know, the whole exchange rate thing. [Chuckles] Euros, dollars -- it's so confusing.
David: Mm-hmm. And now you're tapped out.
Colby: So boring.
David: Well, a beautiful girl like you should not be underfunded. How much?
Colby: You're going to give me a loan?
David: Not a loan. I'm giving you a gift.
Colby: Why? You don't even like me that much.
David: Well, let's just say because I can. Okay? And because I want to do my part to keep a smile on that gorgeous face of yours.
Colby: Okay, there has to be more to this.
David: Do you really care?
Colby: $30,000 should take care of things. [Chuckles]
Lea: So, it looks like your source didn't show up.
Zach: Why can't you go annoy somebody else, huh? I came out here because I wanted you to stay in there.
Zach: Jesse, what are you doing here? Did you find Cass?
Jesse: I'm really sorry. I have to arrest you for the murder of Uri Koslov.
Brooke: [Scoffs] Huh. [Sighs]
Brooke: [Opens door] [Chuckling] Oh, my God! I never thought I would see you again!
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